


Feels Like We Only Go Backwards

by joetrohmancantlose



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Best Friends, Blind Date, Breaking Up & Making Up, Car Sex, Comedy, Crush, Date Nights, Drunk Sex, Drunk Texting, Drunken Confessions, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Face-Sitting, Falling In Love, Flashbacks, Jealousy, Love Confessions, Love Triangle, Making Love, Making Out, Moving On, NSFW, Never Have I Ever, No Strings Attached, One Night Stand, Oral Sex, Outdoor Sex, Party Games, Past Relationship(s), Resolved Sexual Tension, Romance, Sex Positions, Sex Toys, Shower Sex, Starting Over, Truth or Dare, Wake-Up Sex, dressing up, fake date, gig nights, pretend boyfriend, relationships, sex buddy, sex list, summer time, wedding invite
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-11
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2018-03-30 03:31:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 197,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3921325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joetrohmancantlose/pseuds/joetrohmancantlose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the past and present collide for Riley Hobbs she is left with many choices but with the summer months a head of her more than just the weather was about to heat up.</p><p>Starting over again was hard to do but with bartender Joe trohman by her side Riley begins to see sense whilst he helps her navigate being single until he jokes that they should just pretend to date to get everybody off their backs and he could help her move on from her ex? </p><p>With no strings attached they would remain just friends whilst still seeing other people which Riley finds easy becoming Joe's fake girlfriend (for all of five minutes) until the edges begin to blur, a sex list is literally laid out on the table and they soon both forget that this was all supposed to just be pretend.</p><p>Leading her new life well into summer and the beginning of fall Riley still hasn't figured anything out as she still wonders if they can both keep playing this game together or is someone going to lose everything and get hurt?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. College 2006

..............................................................................................................................................................................................................

Where ever there was Pete there was always Joe the two were inseparable and both of them a huge pain in the ass. 

I knew them because they were friends with Hunter a guy who I have spent practically the whole of my college career drooling over but tonight was different I was finally making my move.

Smiling my thanks at Joe as he hands me another beer I notice Pete give me a look he had been shouting something in my direction but not really hearing him over the music I just nodded back. 

Fuelled by beer and the loud reverberations of dance music bouncing around the large living room this was the last college party I would be attending so I needed to make this one count.

“I am going to find Hunter.” I announce out loud more to myself then anything as I try to get a hold of my sudden outbreak of nerves as I look around the crowd seeking out my target. 

“Did you not hear a word I just said to you?” Pete yells at me making me look back round to see Joe glare at him then storm off.

“What’s his problem?” I scoff as Pete shakes his head at me then decides to walk off leaving me alone as I decide I will figure that one out later.

This was two years in the making time spent hanging out with Hunter and his friends trying not to obsess over him as Pete and Joe rolled their eyes behind my back whilst I pretended not to notice.

It was all my friend Katy’s fault who I could not find right now as she had made her move on Pete one night at a party leaving me to talk with Hunter and Joe.

Happening so quickly I had gained my first crush and it has stayed pretty much with me the whole time I have been here in Greendale College. 

Sure I have dated a few guys because I wasn't blind to them but my aim was always at Hunter who dated a lot yet that was soon about to change.

This guy was my Adonis.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Tall with brown spiky hair and deep green eyes I could stare at all day Hunter was my ultimate I loved it when we hanged out but I wanted him all to myself.

Finishing my beer I place the empty plastic cup on a table to my left as I decide to head into another room as I had no real idea whose party this was just that the host’s parents were away.

Graduation had passed us by and now this was the absolute last college party I would be attending so it had to be tonight or I would have wasted two years to get to this moment.

Pushing a couple who were heavily making out in front of me to one side it was there that I saw Hunter wearing loose fitting denim jeans and a light grey polo shirt.

He was all alone and I did not have any time to waste as I make my way towards him and within seconds I am in front of his smiling face.

“Hey Hunter!” I shout over the music which I swear has gotten louder as he grins down at me and I briefly forget how to speak.

“I thought you was hanging out with Joe?” Hunter gives me a sidelong look I cannot read as I wasn't sure if what he just said sounded like a question or a statement.

“Joe and Pete are busy.” I trail off as Hunter nods at me and I see the uncertain look pass across his face as I get a sinking feeling that this already wasn’t going so well.

“Well do you want another drink?” Hunter asks me as I nod and taking my right hand he leads me towards the kitchen and my heart begins to swell again. 

Failing not to notice all the looks I was getting as I chatted with Hunter it was as if the girls were all in line waiting their turn but tonight it was all about me. 

Pretty soon the room was spinning from a mixture of beer and lust as I was leaned up against Hunter listening to him talk in my ear caught up in our own private moment.

“What the hell?!” I shout as somebody chucks their drink all over me and Hunter moves out of the way just in time to avoid getting soaked. 

“Shit!” Hunter grins widely as he moves back towards me and I stand there in shock moving the soft fabric of my blue vest away from my wet skin.

“I need to go clean up.” I tell Hunter even though I did not want to leave his side.

“After you have done that.” Hunter leans back down to speak into my ear “Come find me upstairs.” 

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Looking up at him I see Hunter wink at me as I float off on a drunken cloud of happiness walking down the corridor towards the downstairs bathroom then I stop and curse when I see the queue.

What the hell happened to you?” Pete grabs my arm as I join the line and can see he is trying not to laugh at me he was such a wind up always choosing the wrong moments to pounce.

“Some idiot chucked their beer and I was in the firing line.” I look down at my clothes wishing whoever was in the bathroom would hurry the hell up.

“Look we need to talk-“

“I am busy!” I tell Pete rolling my eyes then add “You and Joe have been acting super weird tonight this is our last party together and it is so important to me”

“Can you just stop thinking about yourself for a second?” Pete shouts then grabbing my arm he drags me to the front of the line pushing open the bathroom door and chucking out the occupants.

“Don’t be a dick!” One of the two girls yell as they had been reapplying each other’s make up and people begin to bang on the door as Pete pushes me into the bathroom then locks the door.

“I am not thinking about myself.” I state at Pete who chucks me a towel and sitting on the edge of the bath he watches me as I begin to dry my wet arms.

“You are making a huge mistake.” Pete tells me and I roll my eyes back at him.

“So your friend Hunter is a mistake?” I laugh at him “The guy I have crushed on for far too long I am just finally making my move tonight!”

“You will regret it.” Pete informs me simply “There are other guys out there who have been waiting in the wings just to be with you.”

“Are you misquoting Mr Big lyrics at me?” I laugh trying to lighten the mood as I ignore the yelling coming from outside then it suddenly hits me.

“Pete? Are you trying to tell me that you’re one of those guys?” I ask him but realise it is the wrong question as Pete dissolves into laughter and I feel pretty put out right now.

“Wrong friend.” Pete tells me as I shake my head and smile then wonder just what he means by that but before I can question it he re-opens the door and somebody pushes in whilst pushing us out.

“What do you mean-“ 

“I think Joe was looking for you.” Pete shouts as he salutes me then walks off in the other direction as I stand there more confused than ever.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Joe was a shy but funny guy who I had gotten to know a little over the two years here at college what with him making me the odd mix tape because I was the only other person he knew who had a cassette player in their car still. 

Maybe Joe had a message from Hunter for me?

Looking down at my still damp clothes makes me swear as this was not how I had planned tonight to happen but I guess If I played my cards right I would be out of my vest and skirt pretty soon but on my own terms obviously.

Following the long staircase I end up facing two corridors littered with people and empty bottles and cups on the floor. 

Deciding that I needed one more dose of courage I grab a passer-by’s drink and tell them “This is an emergency.”

Whatever was in the cup was strong but I drink it all regardless then pull a face as it tasted bitter dropping the cup onto the floor with all the others I choose to head left.

I am greeted by three doors which I swear are moving so picking one quickly I grab at the handle it is locked so I bang on the door and wait.

Shit, he isn’t in there so trying the other two doors I am met by the same fate which makes me head back to try my luck along the other long corridor where trying the first door it opens so I head inside.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

“Hunter?” I whisper into the darkness deciding there was no time like the present as I pull my blue vest over my head chucking it down beside me.

“Riley?” A voice replies it sounds deeper than Hunter’s but I think I am just imagining it because of the loud music which I am sure is matching the pace of my heartbeat right now.

“I have been waiting far too long for this!” I tell Hunter as I tug down my denim skirt to reveal my favourite red lace underwear it is a shame the lights are out and he cannot see me.

“I am surprised to hear you say that.” Hunter replies as I see a shadow on the bed and following the slither of light on the floor I reach him and sink down onto the mattress next to him.

“It is about time you kiss me.” I tell Hunter drunkenly as he chuckles his reply and I feel a hand snake around my neck and pull me close as I feel a soft pair of lips find mine in the dark and ever so gently kiss me.

I am so surprised by the tenderness that I literally swoon as I sit up and wrap my arms around his neck as his hands move down to my waist clinging onto my hips tightly as our kiss intensifies.

This is just like how I imagined it all my dreams coming true at once as Hunter begins to kiss my neck and I lean up against him pushing my body into his trying to get as close as possible.

Inhaling his scent I am momentarily confused because I can smell cigarettes and I am pretty sure Hunter does not smoke but my thoughts disappear as he begins to trace his tongue over the swell of my breasts.

“Let me help you.” I tell Hunter unclipping my bra and chucking it behind me as I try to make out Hunters face in the dark grabbing at his hair pulling him closer again.

That’s strange Hunter’s hair isn’t that long?

Whilst I stroke his hair I cannot feel the soft spikes which usually occupy it which makes me lean away and then I get a bad gut feeling about what was taking place.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

“Who’s in this room-“Light suddenly illuminates the bedroom as I place my hands over my chest just in time to see Hunter standing at the door looking at me with a huge grin on his face.

“What the hell?” Turning back round I stand off the bed as I see Joe looking back at me and I blink twice in case I had been imagining it but no he was there instead of Hunter.

“Did Pete finally put you two up to this?" Hunter laughs whilst I grab at my clothes turning around to quickly put my clothes back on imagining in my head the smug look on both Joe and my crushes face which makes me get suitably angry. 

“I thought Joe was you!” I pointed at Hunter who looks a little annoyed for a few seconds as he closes the bedroom door behind him blocking my only means of an escape. 

“This was the plan-“

“Plan?” I choke on the word as I see Hunter still grinning at me and it hits me right between the eyes when I notice just how ugly he looks when he laughs.

“Look.“Joe finally speaks as he stands up running a hand through his hair but I ignore him as I know just what he was about to say.

“Is this some kind of sick joke!” I snap loudly “Were you all in on this trying to get the last laugh at my expense?” 

“Riley-“ Joe steps forward but I back away from him waiting for the punchline as I turn around then realise it is me I am the running joke in this scenario.

“I think I need to leave you guys alone-“

“What you need to do is step aside and let me leave this room.” I state cutting Hunter off tell feeling pretty sick and like I was unravelling at the seams my heart had truly fell off my imaginary sleeve.

“Relax this is-“

“Move out of the way!” I shout at Hunter as I push him firmly in the chest which does the trick because he steps aside uttering something under his breath but I ignore him pulling the door open so I can finally escape.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

What the hell just happened? 

Blindly walking back along the corridor I race down the stairs as quickly as I can to try and find an exit so I could leave this party and never look back.

Looking for Katy I locate her sitting down on a couch next to Pete both of them exploring each other’s mouths everybody else was having a good time it seemed besides me.

How dare Hunter and even Joe make me look like an absolute fool how long had they been planning all this?

I could not believe it had been Joe who was sitting in that bed with his delicious soft lips but he was the wrong guy…how dare they mess this up for me!

Joe was never on my radar it had always been Hunter who it turns out was a complete asshole but that was a chapter that needed to be finished with me walking out of this house as the closing scene.

Taking a deep breath outside in the balmy night air is no good as I empty my stomach of its contents on the lawn and still do not feel any better as I look up into the sky then decide to walk away.

Feeling very sober and sad that nobody followed me out here I was glad that I had made such great friends here in college deciding that I needed to leave right now and never look back.

Tears sting my eyes as I grab my essentials from my dorm room then leaving the keys on my bed I head towards my car but decide that I will grab a cab instead and go to my parents.

If this was the first few moments of the rest of my life I wanted to leave with pride so wiping my tears away I head towards the gates of the college pushing my wheeled suitcase behind me. 

Sure I maybe being childish leaving like this but what just happened would be something that would haunt me for a long while so I was entitled to act like this just break free and move on.


	2. 8 Years Later

..............................................................................................................................................................................................................

Sitting on the concrete steps outside the “Working Wonders” office used to be one of my favourite pastimes until I decided to walk out of my job from there which I had enjoyed until I'd gotten dumped by my boss.

Five months ago exactly when plans were set in motion for the two of us to buy a place together Will had decided to call it quits which meant I had to either stay in my job or leave.

Stupidly I had decided to stay conspiring ideas in my head to try and get Will to love me again as he used to say it every day and I was at a loss as to why he had suddenly chosen to end it with me.

So dressing up as sexily as I could in an office environment I spent five days a week trying to impress Will back into my arms but he had moved on as he treated me like an old friend rather than an ex.

For a whole month I kept up with this pretence that he would soon change his mind once he saw me but it turned out that Will was getting that huge grin on his face from somebody besides me.

After denial came anger which I thought I had buried deep because I did use to enjoy my job working in a temping agency for several companies sure it hadn't been on my career list but it was paying my rent.

Will then started to talk even less to me passing his messages on via the receptionist and all hell broke loose when people began to talk about us so I decided to send a mass email to my colleagues explaining the demise of me and the boss.

This had only made things much worse as Will avoided me at all costs whilst I was the hot talk of the office so I just kept my head down, met targets and tried to keep my mouth shut.

I felt a whole host of emotions as I struggled to understand what my best friends and my aunt meant when they said that I was better off without Will.

Talk eventually died down about my relationship with Will it turned to a worse topic of debate to whom was the new girl he was hooking up with as chat echoed around the office that the boss was seeing a hot redhead.

By now I knew to ignore all the gossip as I stood my ground working my nine to five slowly descending into madness as I too deep down wanted to know who had replaced me.

Will kept his cards close to his chest not spilling any words on the redhead until I was sure I saw her with my ex in his office because he had leaned in close and was hugging slash groping the hell out of this woman. 

It sure wasn’t just a friendly hug and I knew then that I had failed it hurt to know how much of an idiot I had been which lead to me to realise that I needed to move on.

Because I used to be that woman he hugged, made out with and even a few times had sex with here in his office but it all seemed like some kind of bizarre dream right now like I had imagined it.

That realisation that I had lost hit me three months ago but since then I just kept my distance and nodded every time my friends asked me if I was ok or said no to my aunt who would try and set me up with a guy.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

When a thick white envelope was placed onto my desk earlier whilst I had been talking to a guy who was after part time work I had ignored it at first until I felt a presence was still behind me.

“Glad I could catch you Riley.” Will informs me after I finish my call and I silently nod my head back at him then glance back at the envelope on the side.

“This is for you.” Will tells me nervously as he scratches his right ear and I remember for a moment how much I had loved this guy but the feeling soon passes.

Opening the heavy envelope I take note of the thick white ivory embossed paper inside then feel my heart pop as I open it up to reveal that it is a wedding invitation from Will.

“Y-you’re getting married?” I stutter the question as I drop the invitation back onto my desk like it had burned me looking up to see the huge smile on his face which makes me feel sick.

“I know it is so sudden but me and Gabi are in love and I have always wanted to get married and settle down-“

“What the fuck do you think you are doing?” I question standing up from my seat making Will meet my eye as he knew I was about to make a scene and boy it was about time I did.

“Please refrain from using that language in the office Riley-“

“No!” I snap as this was it all of my mixed emotions had finally peaked I knew now what I needed to do just say my piece then leave this office for good.

“You are acting so childish!” Will states stepping back whilst I move forward shaking my head at him in disgust and to think I used to sleep with this guy.

“Me?” I shout making people turn round to look at me “ You are the one who dumped me and now you are being smug and shoving this wedding in my face which I bet isn’t going to last!”

“This is not the place to be talking about this.” Will bares his teeth at me as I have obviously struck a nerve I can see him beginning to unravel.

“It is too late.” I tell Will “This envelope was my wake up call I am glad you are getting married but I won’t be attending and I need to tell you to go fuck this job because I quit!”

Will stands there in front of me as I can see him trying to figure out what to say next but I just grab a cardboard box from under my desk and fill it with stuff from my work station that was mine.

“So you are obviously sacked now.” Will tells me even though I gave my notice verbally not five minutes ago.

“I sure am.” I tell Will then add “Whilst you get tied into something that you pretend is serious until you get bored of Gabi I will be starting a whole new life without you”

“Look let’s not leave on bad terms I really want you at the wedding-“

“What so you can try to rub it in a little more I have had enough of seeing your smug looking face around here so I need to go” I tell Will and the whole office who have all stopped working three phones are even ringing off the hook but nobody is really interested.

“So this is it.” Will questions as I nod towards him then at some of my fellow colleagues who were always on my side their smiles made me realise that I was doing the right thing I had grown to hate it here and it was all his fault.

“This is goodbye I am gone best of luck everybody!” I yell this at the rest of the staff who watch me as I headed outside the office feeling on top of the world surrounded by a high that I hoped would last long enough for me to enjoy.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Looking back down from the bright blue sky I decide to shove the invitation from my hands back into the cardboard box because it was no good sitting here reminiscing there was only one place left for me to go when I was in this state.

As I walked into town the satisfaction I had felt earlier was soon replaced by fear what the hell was I going to do now? 

Besides heading to the place my aunt Lilly owned a cafe slash bar called “Upside Down” I had to decide more pressing issues like what I was supposed to do with my life now but that could wait.

Deciding to call my room-mate and best friend Gina Wells it is just my fucking luck when it goes straight to voice mail trying once more I get nowhere so I think I will just talk to her later.

Casey my other best friend is out with her boyfriend on an afternoon date so I shouldn't call her right now both because she will just ask Justin for advice and he thinks he is always right.

Shoving my phone back into my grey shift dress pocket I reach “Upside Down’ just in time to feel tears fall down my cheeks and I quickly walk inside.

This place is my aunt’s life and my second home with the outside all painted dark red and purple alongside a large sign with lights illuminating the huge glass windows.  
Inside well-worn wooden floorboards matched the bare brick walls covered in local artists painting and pictures on show highlighting the talent there was in Greendale. 

Mis-matched tables and chairs made the place look eclectic whilst the bar was calling my name because it was time I stopped daydreaming and did a little living like getting stupidly drunk.

Placing the stupid cardboard box I was still carrying next to me on the bar I wipe my eyes as I did not want my mascara to run because I wanted to look strong in front of aunt Lilly.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

“Oh my god what has happened?” Talk of the devil Lilly appears at the bar catching me wiping my cheeks it is the look that she gives me which makes me begin to cry fully.

“Come here!” Grabbing my arm she ushers me round the side of the bar then on wards to the back where her office was letting me walk in first she closes the door behind her.

“Will is getting married.” I tell Lilly as the tears come thick and fast whilst I hated feeling sorry for myself I knew I needed to get this all off my chest.

“The lucky girl deserves the bastard.” Lilly shoots back momentarily as I try to calm my breathing and my aunt makes me sit down at her desk so I place my head into my hands trying to hide.

“Iwitmywob.” I mumble into the wooden desk.

“What was that?” Lilly questions as I raise my head a little then repeat “I quit my job”

“That is great news!” My aunt informs me as I raise my hands above my head mockingly swaying them as if I agreed that indeed the news was great.

“After Will explained that he was getting married I finally broke and I finally saw how messed up I have been for the past five months it is time I change things up a little.” I stated wishing I could believe my words because they were falling flat right now had I just made a huge mistake?

‘Does this mean that you will be re-energising that creative outlet of yours?” Lilly winks at me as she knew I had once loved to paint and take photographs but being with Will had put a stop to all that.

“What I need now is a ton of booze, exactly a ton.” I smile up at my aunt who has been there for me for the past eight years just when my parents had decided to divorce and when I had finished college to go live with her in Elliot.

“What you need is a new guy.” Lilly informs me “You are still young and beautiful.”

“I need to just pause for breath right now.” I snort at my aunt who hates me making that noise as she gives me a look.

“How many dates have you gone on since being dumped by Will?” Lilly questions even though she knows the answer she is just trying to push my buttons and it is working.

“Hundreds!” I tell her with a grin whilst she shakes her head at me brush some white blonde hair behind her ear.

“You need to meet somebody even if it is just for one night.” Lilly laughs at my reaction as I would talk about anything other than sex and one night stands to my aunt.

“I am fine!” I nod beginning to feel a little frustrated over this whole conversation as I wanted it to end right now.

“Are you sure maybe I could get a few nice guys numbers for you from the bar later-“

“Please don’t try and set me up again.” I wail thinking I had buried that memory deep but a lot had gotten unearthed today and that was just the tip of the iceberg.

Nick used to frequent this bar until my aunt had cajoled him into going on a date with me one that I was both unprepared for and did not want.

The feeling it appeared was mutual because Nick tried to use me to get to one of the staff the stunningly beautiful Elise who shot him down in seconds and then just like that he was gone.

“I care about you and I want you to be happy.” Lilly tells me with a smile and I find myself smiling back despite the mess I was in.

Three years ago Lilly decided she wanted to go into business as she loved people and had spent most of her life working in a café or bar environment. 

Finally using some of the money her dad had left my aunt when he passed away she was able to open and renovate this place as it had been small club back in the early nineties.

I was in my mid-teens when my granddad passed away and I still miss him now as I enjoyed all the times my mum or aunt Lilly would joke around with him and I loved going on nature walks with him.

Life was so fascinating back then when I was a kid picking up large red and burnt orange leaves from the ground collecting pine cones and trying to make a daisy chain whilst walking in the large parks on a bright sunny day.

It was bliss which was something as an adult I had forgotten how to feel contented because it appeared that I got stuck into ruts instead I was always made to look the fool.

“I have a new bartender he could make you up a cocktail drink?” Lilly breaks the silence as I look up and smile back as that sounded like a really good idea right about now.

This was it I had shed my tears but now I needed to move on I understood the game and knew how it was played so to keep my pride in check I would just have get back out there.

“Why did you hire a new bartender?” I ask Lilly as we head out of her office together and I walk back towards the front of the bar it is beginning to get busy so I sit next to my cardboard box on a stool.

“Business is doing very well and the guy has some really good ideas for the place plus I think he is single."Lilly tells me innocently.

“Don’t start.” I tell Lilly who grins widely at me I add “I am in no rush.”

If either of my friends Casey or Gina were here right now they would whole heartedly agree and side with my aunt but I did not need a rebound contrary to whatever they said on the matter.

“What?” Lilly replies trying to look innocent but breaks out into laughter instead and I smile as I hear her jewellery from her wrists jangle as she moves. 

My aunt was always the black sheep of her family or so she says because Lilly liked to travel lots and be herself it was always the same advice with her do not settle and do not change for no one.

“I will go and get him now.” Lilly informs me as I nod but then my mind replays the events from earlier making me want this bartender to get here quicker because I needed alcohol right now.

Checking my phone I see that I have two missed calls and they are both from Will swearing loudly I delete them then decide to switch off my phone I needed to go off the grid for a few hours.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

“Hello I will be your trusty bartender this evening your aunt informs me that-“

The guy in front of me has stopped talking he is just staring at me and I cannot help but notice how blue his eyes are and a familiar pang hits me in the stomach which surprises me but I dismiss it.

“Can I have the strongest drink you've got please?” I question breaking the silence because the guy was still staring at me and it was making me feel awkward.

“I could make you a black Russian do you still like vodka?” The guy asks as I look up at him and think I recognise him briefly but the bartender brushes some stray dark curly brown hair from his face and the thought passes.

“How do you know I like vodka?” I ask as this guy in front of me was acting super weird why was it that Lilly had hired him?

“Your aunt told me.’ He tells me with a quick smile as I nod and I watch the guy set to work making me a drink whilst I find myself checking him out noticing his big hands also that the arm sleeves on his tee are rolled up to reveal strong shoulders and heavily tattooed arms.

“How’s it going?” Lilly appears next to the bartender as he places my drink in front of me and I mumble my thanks because I feel like an idiot spending far too long checking this guy out. 

“This guy is a great bartender.” Lilly tells me yet again then adds “He is very popular.”

“That is because my friends keep coming in here.” The bartender grins smirking at me and I find myself smiling back until I order myself to get a grip.

“The guy is such a charmer.” My aunt laughs and I nod regardless having no clue who they are talking about but I wanted to look like I was at least half listening to this conversation.

Before the bartender can reply loud shouting is heard from the back in the kitchen so Lilly shakes her head at me then walks off to investigate.

“The two Jake’s are always arguing over who is the better cook in the kitchen it is ridiculous.” I explain as the bartender grins at me and I find myself getting that pang back in my stomach.

“Today is my first day and already I have had to break up two fights earlier this morning.” The guy informs me as he busies himself wiping the bar down as Elise and Max serve customers.

“I can tell you now I have your day whipped.” I announce drinking the drink quickly in front of me enjoying the sweet taste of the vanilla vodka as it hits my tongue.

“Oh really?” The guy grins at me leaning his hands onto the bar he waits for me to continue.

“Hey new guy.” Shouts Max “Stop flirting and more working please.”

“Hold that thought.’ The bartender tells me then asks “Do you want another drink?” 

Nodding the bartender smiles at me as he walks off towards Max who is giving him a knowing look then he winks at me and I find myself staring at that stupid cardboard box.

This brings me back to reality as I am supposed to be feeling terrible right now not happy or even attempting to flirt with the cute looking new guy which I think I was I could not be entirely sure.

Returning with another black Russian cocktail the bartender listens intently as I recap my day and laugh as he pulls faces and is shocked at just the right moments.

“So are you going to the wedding?” The guy asks me as I find myself once again looking into his blue eyes because I hadn't even thought about if I would actually go or not.

“Only if I lost a stone and had a trophy boyfriend on my arm.” I deadpan making the bartender chuckle at me as I finish my second drink then begin to feel light headed but enjoying the buzz.

“Maybe I could ask one of my friends?” 

“Who?” I question thinking it was a bad idea to drink on an empty stomach as I wasn’t really listening to the bartender but a stupid monologue in my head because I was beginning to feel a little funky.

“An old friend from college-“ 

Lost in a “Twilight Zone” moment I find myself humming along to the background music until I realise what song it is and a past memory comes back to haunt me.

Ever since the last party I attended at college I vowed never to listen to the eighties band Mr Big ever again but hearing it now in the background is throwing up a lot of images I do not want to remember.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

‘You ok?” The bartender asks as he has stopped talking because he has noticed that I haven’t heard a single word he had said.

“I need to go.” I tell him standing up from my stool feeling overwhelmed from both the alcohol and the immense flood of memories which have been invading my thoughts for most of the day.

Backing away from the bar I knew I wasn't thinking straight but I knew I needed to leave and head home to the safety of my duvet as my swirl of emotions were reaching breaking point.

My aunt watches me leave as I look away and walk as fast as I can back to the apartment for some much needed junk food and to watch some mindless TV so I didn't have to think any more.

“There you are!” I hear Casey shout as my duvet is pulled from me and I try to hide my head under the pillow but she moves it.

“Go away.” I moan then add “I mean that nicely please leave me to just be depressed for the rest of my life!”

“Now that is an exaggeration.” Casey smiles at me then gives me a serious look and I just know I am in trouble.

“Lilly called us earlier and explained that you quit your job.” Casey begins and I nod.

“Why did you not call us?” Gina storms in sitting down next to me on my bed pushing me to one side so she can have more room.

“I needed some time alone.” I tell them and Gina scoffs at me whilst Casey giggles.

“We heard about you chatting to the new bartender-“

“I was just being polite because he made me cocktails.” I mumble as I remembered how easy it had been to chat to the new guy which had been a nice interruption that I needed.

“Earth to Riley!” Casey laughs as she taps me on the shoulder whilst she sits at the foot of my bed on top of the duvet. 

“I cannot believe Will is getting married.” Gina begins as I shake my head in disgust as well.

“Let’s not talk-“

“You know what hurts the most.” I cut off Casey as she sits up on the bed “Why isn’t it me getting married or falling in love all over again?”

“But it can be you there is still hope!” Casey tells me tucking some dark brown hair behind her right ear as she smiles at me.

“Yeah and would you really like to be married to that asshole?” Gina states making us all laugh as the answer to that question would be a resounding hell no.

“Of course not!” I giggle feeling a little better even though sure I was still alone but I was not with him and that was a very good place to be starting at.

“I think we need to have a girl’s night in!” Casey smirks as I could die for a slice of pizza right now and I guess a glass of wine wouldn't really hurt it could only improve my mood.  


Not wanting to live alone any more Gina let me move in with her four months ago which I had then vowed would only be short term but she soon dismissed those thoughts.

I was allowed to call this my home as I helped my friend save money by paying rent so Gina could spend more cash on herself because she was some kind of a shoe whisperer and her collection took up the whole box room.

Meeting Gina at an art exhibit in a clothes store I had decided to go check out on my first week back in Greendale I had found her looking around for somebody totally ignoring all the artwork on display.

We began to chat soon after as it turned out her date had actually left the store and we bonded over the idiocy of guys and the pink wine we were drinking by the bottle full.

Exchanging phone numbers we met up several times more either after work or over the weekend and the beginnings of a firm friendship was born something which I am forever thankful for.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

“I am stuffed.” I announce as I sit back on the dark green couch dropping the paper plate next to me on the coffee table feeling a little better I had the company of my friends around me.

“So what happens now?” Gina questions as she bounces up from her seat on the floor heading towards the mp3 dock besides on a side table and I wince as loud music blasts out through the speakers.

“Time to dance?” Questions Casey giggling as she pulls me up off the couch and I watch with a smirk as the pair of them begin to pull off some pretty silly dance moves.

When the song changes to a remix of Whitney Houston’s “It’s not right, but it’s ok” I cannot help myself as the three of us dance together using as much space in the living room as possible.

Keeping the song on repeat we laugh and dance at least six or eight times which lifts my mood but in turn makes me thirsty so signalling for another beer we all head out into the kitchen.

“That is my workout done for the day.” Casey grins as she is first to reach the fridge so pulling out three cans of beer we knock them together then drink.

‘I bet that isn’t the only workout you will get later.” Gina grins cheekily at Casey who rolls her eyes and I shake my head.

“Your mind is permanently in the gutter!” I deadpan as Gina tries and fails to look innocent.

“It is true Casey is the only one of us who gets to have sex often.” Gina smirks then adds “Sure I am no saint but this girl here has it on tap.”

“I couldn't imagine going back out on the dating scene.” States Casey then she stutters as she tries and fails to back track but I feel her pain.

“Oh shit I have to date again.” I whine then remember “My aunt wants to set me up too.”

“What we need is a night out.” Winks Gina then giving me a look she adds “And you need a makeover.”

“Like a whole new person playing the character of me because I already give up?” I joke even though there is a small amount of hurt in my voice as I thought I looked ok to be honest.

“You need a fresh look for dating so you can wow these guys-“

“Guys!” I look at her wide eyed “As in plural?”

“You need to see what is around and take a bite from all different tables.” Gina smiles at me and I laugh at her analogy.

“So you are saying that I should approach this like being at a buffet try a little bit of everything and see what I like best?” I question then grin at Casey who burst into random laughter as she snorts some beer up her nose in the process.

“Yes!” Gina cheers at me clapping her hands “With me by your side you will become irresistible to guys.”

“Should I lock up Justin then?” Casey questions talking about her long term boyfriend of five years the pair were inseparable and very much in love it was too much to take sometimes.

“Justin never sees any other girls only you.” Gina rolls her eyes as the statement was pretty accurate the guy was smitten and obviously Casey didn't mind she had found herself a good guy there.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

The party moves to Gina’s bedroom as we take the remaining beer in there leaving the music on low in the living room. 

“Can I try a new look on your face?” Gina asks me as she hands me a few make up wipes and I oblige her even though I am sure I cried off all my mascara earlier.

Sitting on the floor Gina moves in front of me grabbing her large make up case and clicking it open I always marvel at all the hidden treasures she has in there. 

Gina works for “SOS” a beauty brand who have a store in town and she loves to apply make up to customers making them see the best in themselves.

“What does SOS stand for again?” I question out loud as I have my eyes closed as Gina brushes foundation powder onto my skin.

“Sexy, original, so you.” Gina sing-songs and I cannot help but hear the pride in her voice as she loves her job I am a little jealous of her secretly right now.

“So what is the plan?” Casey questions then adds “Riley needs a better game plan than heading out to a bar and treating the guys like they are all different foods at a buffet.”

“Well I need to lose a little weight.” I begin opening my eyes again as Gina continued to rub blusher into my cheeks. 

“What you need is a list.” Gina pauses with a grin then added “A sexy list.”

“What would that-“

“Like a bucket list but full of sexual goals!” Casey cuts in with a laugh making me giggle and annoy Gina as she was applying eyeliner to my top eyelid.

“Ok what would be one thing you would like to do that you haven’t before?” Gina asks me after having finished my eyes she is applying mascara to my lashes. 

“I need to be loads more drunk for this conversation.” I tell my friend as they laugh at me but it is the truth.

“We all know this isn’t your first rodeo so spill.” Casey orders me with a smirk on her face.

“Would you like to try a new sexual position like the spider, the speed bump or the edge of heaven?” Gina questions with a cheeky smile.

“They all sound made up!” I cry making Gina shake her head and I see that even Casey looks intrigued.

“All of them are real and a lot of fun.” Gina laughs “I have a book you can borrow.”

“That’s it.” Casey shouts randomly “That is all you need to remember that you are the one in the driving seat now and it is all about having fun.”

“And finding a guy with a large cock” Gina states and I laugh as Casey pulls a face at me.

“You are obsessed.” I tell Gina as I swear she mentions guy’s appendages way more than in a single episode of “Sex and the City” which is a lot.

“Why would you want it to hurt and impale you?” Casey questions “It sounds like too much of a pain to me I am happy with Justin’s”

“Put that on top of your list!” Gina grins at me “Must be well endowed!”

“Does it have to be a priority?” I smirk at Gina who hands me a large shell shaped mirror and I notice she has made me look pretty hot even if I do say so myself.

“I look hot.” I announce to the mirror then wink at my reflection for luck.

“See.” Gina taps me on the head “Forget about Will it is all about you and as Casey said having lots of fun!”

“Talking to guys and trying to check out what is in their jeans apparently.” Casey shouts causing us all to fall around laughing which felt really good this was just what I needed.

“You can tell if a guy has a large dick or not by how they act-“

“Or by how they stand!’ I joke making Casey smirk at me.

“If a guy is really over the top and gets desperate pretty quick you know that he is of the small to average size.” Gina tells us “Like if he is really over compensating you know he is trying to hide the fact he hasn't got much on show.”

“What if he is a nice guy?” I question then regret it as Gina gives me a withering look.

“If the guy is super nice to you, flirts with ease but is a little full on with you like his attention is only on you let me just say you are onto a winner!” Gina announces with a firm nod of her head.

“Jackpot.” I laugh going along with Gina only half listening as my mind drifted to all the possible guys I could be hooking up with and that thought did excite me a little.

The rest of the night is watching terrible B movie horror films shouting at the female lead who always went the wrong and usually ended up getting stabbed or her head chopped off.  


We made a list of traits in the perfect guy in my eyes and I only wish that we could put our bras on our head and with a little help of eighties technology create the sexiest man alive. 

Adding to that Gina wrote me an extensive sex list for me full of weird position names, different places to have sex at and a few little things that I would like to try like talking dirty perhaps or even some role playing.

I was ready…wasn't I?


	3. Snap Out Of It

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Even though the hangover was one hundred per cent my own doing I woke up this morning momentarily feeling better until a dark cloud descended over my head and I threw up. 

Barely making it to the bathroom I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand as I flushed the toilet then grabbed onto the side of the sink feeling a little woozy from the exertion of being sick.

The dark cloud had covered me and all I felt right now was that I was on the brink of a terrible mood and there was only one thing for it I would have to spend more time under my duvet.

Hearing silence throughout the apartment meant that Gina had gone to work and not called in sick like she had threatened to do last night.

Justin had come and picked up Casey because he was that kind of guy one of a kind I guess as I had never been truly treated like that which was a very sad thought.

In the kitchen I grab a large bottle of water, a box of headache pills, and a large bag of chili-go-go crisps then heading back to my bedroom where I decide to set up base camp.

Unsure if it was either the onset of a hangover or the fact my life totally sucked right now but I was caught up in all kinds of woe and it felt like the right thing to do in such circumstances.

How was it that I felt worse now than when I had on the day I had gotten dumped how was I supposed to move on when I felt like this?

It all felt so fresh in my mind from the moment Will telling me it was over to that horrible smug look the jerk had given me when he had watched me open up his wedding invitation.

I guess I felt lousy as Will had a new purpose in life sure he was going to become an awful husband to some poor woman but that didn't matter to me what I cared about was my happy ending.

That was a joke because I rarely believed in fairy tales instead I was a believer of real life and this situation was as shitty as they came so feeling sorry for myself was my top priority right now.

Back in my bedroom I find my phone on the floor and picking it up I see the list we had been creating last night which makes me crack a smile all for three seconds until I chuck it behind me.

I could not cope thinking about the future when I was stuck in the now hugging my duvet around me like a security blanket I call myself all the names under the sun and curse at how stupid I am.

It is very true when they say that you are your own worst critic because right now I was on high bitch alert making myself feel small with the true words echoing around my head wanting to scream.

Placing two tablets in my hand I swallow them followed by a lot of water as I felt weak and I needed to re-hydrate myself so I could shed a few more tears which followed suit as soon as I thought of them.

Heavy sobs echoed in my room as I laid down on my mattress placing the duvet over my head I close my eyes feeling the tears fall down my face and neck wanting nothing more than to never feel anything ever again.

I became a zombie for five days sitting in silence either in my bedroom or on the couch ignoring Gina who tried and failed to communicate with me.

Right now all I wanted was to be left alone as I felt stupid and unsure because if this was my reality then fuck did it bite.

This was my coping mechanism looking to move on was not an option as I did not know what my next move would be I was too afraid to pass go and collect my new life.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Saturday morning celebrated a week of me feeling lost whilst everything carried on around me so I decide I have a choice to either fall into an even deeper pit of despair or to get up and wash my hair.

In the shower I order myself to get a grip as I did not want to turn into one of those scorned women you hear about I had a life to lead and that was not the way it was going to pan out or so I hoped.

Sure Will could assume he was having the last laugh but I could become the better person in this whole sordid story and put it all behind me.

Shaking off the past was priority because I did not like the person I was becoming I did not want to lose Gina or Casey over this they were my best friends and I needed to be here in the now.

“Nice to see your out from under the duvet today.” Comments Casey as I walk out from the bathroom and she stops as I try to pass her by.

“I needed to get out from under there or I was going to become mouldy.” I joke as my friend smiles at me.

“Sounding a little more like yourself is a good improvement instead of you not saying a word to either me or Gina.” Casey folds her arms over her chest and I stand there finally in clothes that were not a pair of pyjamas feeling the need to say something. 

“I am so sorry I have been acting all kinds of weird but-“

“Look you don’t have to say anything we do understand Riley but we also want to see you be happy again and it will happen.” Casey states then opening her arms wide she hugs me and I let her as I feel that black cloud that had been hanging over me slowly disappear.

“So are we heading out or what?” Gina shouts as I let go of Casey to see my room-mate give me an unreadable look then walk off towards the front door.

“Come out for a walk with us?” Casey questions as I try to understand why Gina was acting funny with me when I was the injured party here.

“Hurry up!” Gina yells which is quickly followed by a loud slam of the door signalling she has left the apartment.

“I think you have no choice.’ Casey grumbles at me as I follow her grabbing my small denim backpack from the hook in the hallway shoving my feet into a pair of well-worn pumps then we both head outside.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

I spy Gina down the end of our street waving at us so crossing the pavement we walk as quickly as we can towards the tall blonde feeling an unease in the air as I knew we were going to start arguing.

“Good to see you have decided to grace us with your presence.” Dead pans Gina without a hint of irony as she is still wearing that mask and I am super sure now that unkind words are going to be said.

“Let’s just all chill out and go for a walk into town ok?” Casey the peacemaker demands as silence falls amongst us and I try to block out the inevitable by watching everything around me instead.

People caught up in their own lives be it the mundane duty of taking their dog for a walk or a young couple walking hand in hand looking like nothing could hurt them.

I wanted to feel alive again because this was my first day of starting over stepping outside into the sunshine to begin again.

Nearing the centre of town Gina turns into Greendale Park and with a shrug Casey follows whilst I bring up the rear wishing that whatever Gina wanted to say to me she would.

“I think Gina has just missed you this week.” Casey tells me breaking the silence as I fall into step next to her she adds “We both have.”

“I needed some time away but I think I maybe back.” I smile at Casey who nudges me with her right shoulder as we are the same height standing together.

“We could have helped you.” Casey begins as we near the second set of gates in the park directly opposite the large farmers market which looked really busy like always.

“I will mend.” I tell Casey as it was a lot easier talking to her and holding eye contact as we near Gina who looks like she wants to get something off of her chest.

“Look who’s talking again?” Gina questions sarcastically as I stop a little way from her and nod as I did not want this to all blow out of proportion.

“I needed some time-“

“You have had five months’ worth of time!” Gina snaps at me cutting me off “You need to bounce back because I am sick of waiting here for you.”

“That isn’t fair-“

“It is the truth!” Gina yells ignoring whatever Casey was about to say “I have wanted to talk to you all week because this is just like last time you need to snap out of it.”

“So just forget that my life is shit and carry on?” I feel the anger rise in my voice “We all deal with things differently I needed to figure a few things out.”

“By sulking you mean?” Gina retorted then I see her face soften when she adds “You are so much stronger than this I just hate to see you upset over him.”

“It wasn’t just about him.” I tell my friends who nod at me but then we all share a small smile which means at least for now we have made a truce.

“Hey Riley.” A male voice shouts as I turn round to see the bartender standing next to us holding two small wooden crates filled with vegetables.

“Oh hey.” I smile feeling super nervous as I see my friend’s faces.

“Haven’t seen you at Upside Down ever since I made you those drinks-“

“So you’re the bartender?!” Cuts in Gina with a wide grin as she turns to look me with a wide smile.

“I've been super busy.” I tell him lamely because I doubt you could count wallowing in self-pity as keeping yourself busy.

“Well Lilly thought that I had said something to you so I got yelled at until I made her a long island ice tea.” The guy in front of me grins whilst I notice his strong arms again also the way his fitted black t shirt stretched over his wide shoulders and chest.

“I better call my aunt later.” I tell the bartender whose name I cannot remember as I have been so caught up on me I had never even asked him.

“Yeah Lilly told me why you had that cardboard box with you because of your boss-“

“The idiot ex who ruined Riley’s life!” Casey states making me close my eyes as I did not want him to remember that on our first meeting I was encountering the worst day of my life.

“Oh, right.” The guy begins looking a little awkward as he is still holding the crates in his hands.

“My life isn’t ruined.” I begin with a fake smile plastered over my face “I needed some time to regroup but now I am back.”

“Well that is good to hear.” The bartender smiles back at me and I get that feeling in the pit of my stomach again weightlessness quickly followed by a dull thud that makes my knees shake.

“So you was the guy plying Riley with drinks-“

“I had two!” I glare at Gina who smirks back at me like all is now forgotten.

“I assure you it looked like Riley needed them!” The guy smiles down at me just as one of the wooden crates slip but he manages to catch it without losing anything.

“So no ulterior motive was in place then?” Casey questions making the bartender give her a funny look.

“You thought you could hit on Riley when she was feeling vulnerable then?” Gina adds with a laugh as we see the guy in front of us roll his eyes.

“I see what you are doing and I will have you know that I do not pray on vulnerable woman to get my kicks.” The bartender winks at me and with that he says that he will see me soon and then heads off in the opposite direction.

“Well played.” Casey laughs as she sees my face I could kill her.

“He is smooth.” Gina grins at me then adds “I bet he has a huge cock-“

“Will you both shut up?” I blush hoping that the bartender is well out of ear shot as I walk off leaving them behind.

For the rest of the day we fall back into our old ways chatting for ages sitting outside a coffee shop before touring the market making up our own names to call the bartender.

“Can I just call him sex on legs?” Gina giggles at me “Sure he isn’t my type too much facial hair going on but I can totally appreciate the rest of him.”

“Let’s just drop this please.” I tell my friends who I give even more ammo to as I try to change the subject from the bartender but it isn’t any good.

I put off calling my aunt Lilly because I am getting it in the ear from both my friends and even Justin who informs me he has some single friends.

“I will add them to the rosta.” I tell him with a smile putting all thoughts of blind dates to the very back of my mind.

“At this rate there will be a very long line.” Casey grins at me.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

The pair are sitting on their couch as I lean up against a wall on the floor legs stretched out enjoying the afterglow of being fed dinner and plied with plenty of pink wine.

Easy conversation was in place as we continued to joke about all the guys that had been lined up for me to try out Casey even mentioned the bartender but I said he wasn’t allowed on my list.

Changing the subject I asked about how Casey and Justin met I was well versed in the story but I loved how it had played out because now they were closer than ever.

Their paths had met at the train station exactly the same one where I had met Casey through Gina because the pair had known each other from once working at the same juice bar but I digress.

Casey was rushing for the train as she was usually the last to arrive for anything as time keeping was not one of her strong points and to add insult to injury one of her heels broke on her shoes.

My friend was all dressed up because she was heading to a blind date courtesy of Gina but she had never gotten there as when her heel broke she had fell into the arms of Justin.

With floppy blonde hair and a friendly smile the guy could not believe his luck as he helped Casey to a bench and just like that the pair hit if off set up a date together and here we are.

Sure it was a little cheesy the story because Gina always teases that Justin must have had an ulterior motive because she didn't trust a lot of guys just like me.

But if we ever wanted proof that it could happen then we did not have to look far because I agreed that Casey and Justin were the cutest couple ever they were something I would like to aspire to.

Gina usually made gagging noises whenever she heard the story as she vowed that being single was the way forward as she dated often and normally got bored after a few weeks and moved on wards.

All I could ask for now was inspiration as I loved both sides to my friends I just wanted my own story to begin but firstly I needed to find a job.

Sure I had saved up a nice lump sum for part of the deposit for the mortgage I would now have with Will if he had not let me go but I wanted to keep it safe for one day when I bought a place with somebody else.

I have always wanted the kind of relationship that was set in stone it would naturally lead to perhaps marriage and kids because I dreamed of having a family to call my own.

Leaving my friend’s place I head home alone to an empty apartment as Gina was out on a date but I find myself falling into a deep sleep for once and I was sure I had the alcohol to thank for that.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

On Tuesday I decide to do something I haven’t in months which was go for a jog even though I used to love putting on my running gear and heading out alone for some me time.

At first the idea of me running sounded ridiculous because I would either injure myself by getting knocked in the face by my chest or I could just imagine the look on strangers faces as I passed them by.

After finally plucking up the courage to enter a sports store I purchased my first sports bra which held my double d’s in place and then I was ready.

Work used to be so frustrating some days and I found comfort in putting on my running outfit then pounding the pavement with my feet feeling the anger wash away with every few metres I ran.

Like predicted I was terrible at it to begin with not getting very far along our street before I wanted to pass out or get Will to call me a doctor but he had told me I could give up at any time and I hated him for that.

Telling me that I could not do something was the inspiration I needed to push myself as I began to notice the difference and Will did too even though it was never about him he would turn the tables round.

Will found it offensive that I had decided to exercise and do something without his consent like I needed his permission to go off and do something on my own.

That was when I had noticed the distance between us wondering what had even brought us together in the first place then I remembered how we had snuck around in our office before it become official.

Our dates had used to be fun and I had fancied Will from day one but before we broke up he had become distant and every little thing was my fault.

We were about to embark on a huge deal in our relationship owing a place together until Will had decided it was the wrong thing to do and I had somehow pushed him away.

Enough with feeling sorry for myself I finish my black coffee because yet again we have no milk in the fridge there are post it notes on top of post it notes with to do list still waiting to be done.

I could go out for a quick jog as I had noticed my clothes beginning to cling to me and I did not want to fail at something else so I needed to make this count.

Having nothing else to lose I place my light brown hair into a messy bun on top of my head as I pick out a pair of black leggings then I am stuck as I threw away all my running clothes after I got dumped.

Believing the words Will had told me that he had loved me before I had lost weight I decided to stop exercising because he had ruined it for me like everything else.

Deciding to shed a little positivity my way I wear a grey cropped vest over my bra feeling a little self-conscious so I add a blue, white and green checked shirt leaving the buttons open.

The only sneakers I had were my well-worn black Converse so before I can over think it I am lacing them up telling myself I needed to get out and do this.

I had time to kill for once so picking up my head phones I place my cash card and phone into my large checked shirt pocket then finding my keys on my bedroom floor I am ready.

Walking down the steps outside the front of the apartment I notice the sun is shining brightly so with a stretch of my legs I turn my music on then start to run.

Briefly thinking about Will reminds me that I am glad I haven’t heard from him again ever since he tried to call me after I walked out from my job.

Running towards Greendale Park I stop before I reach the entrance because I am already a little worn out and the backs of my legs are beginning to hurt.

As I take a few deep breaths I hear my phone begin to ring but it cuts out only a few seconds after so I pull it out from my check shirt pocket just in time to see that I have a voice message. 

Hoping that it isn’t Will calling me I smile to myself as I hear my aunt’s voice but it doesn't sound right as she tells me to come to the bar quick because she wants to speak to me.

Running as fast as I can I ignore the terrible images crossing my mind because I know Lilly can overreact sometimes I just hoped that this was one of those occasions.

Entering the bar I do not see no sudden cause for alarm as I try to regain my composure looking around to see the place is quite busy and my aunt is in front of the bar grinning at me.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Without saying a word Lilly points upwards and I see that the bartender is standing on the wooden bar replacing lights because there is no light in the back half of the bar.

I cannot help but notice his long lean frame and broad shoulders which I find myself stating at until I realise just why my aunt had called me here.

“Are you kidding me?” I snap at Lilly just enough so she can hear me above the music but not screeching so the bartender will look down and notice me.

“What?” My aunt smiles at me trying to look innocent but completely failing “I haven’t seen my favourite niece in days and this is how you greet me!”

“Is he the only reason why you called me?” I give Lilly a look as she continues to grin like a Cheshire cat.

“Hey.” I hear the bartender greet me as I look up to see him smiling down and I swear I see his eyes checking me out so I wrap my check shirt around myself.

“Hi.” I quickly wave up at him as I give my aunt a pointed look but she ignores me and begins to talk to a couple standing next to me.

The bartender jumps down from the bar readjusting his vest which once was a band tee he had just cut the sleeves off of revealing those colourful tattoos and firm arms.

The guy grins at me and this time for sure I know he is scoping me out because his eyes are lingering I just hope that Lilly cannot see my face.

“Make Riley a drink.” Lilly tells the bartender who finally looks back up at my face and I notice the dimples in his cheeks as he smiles.

“Can I just have an orange juice thanks.” I ask trying not to stare at the bartender too much because I was new to all this and I needed to stop overreacting at every little thing or I would be accused of being paranoid.

“Have you been to the gym?” The guy asks me acknowledging my clothing choice.

“No I have decided to begin running again.” I tell him honestly then nodding my thanks as he hands me my drink.

“That’s cool I like to run as well unless I am hungover.” The bartender grins then mentions several routes that he takes and I fail not to notice the looks my aunt is giving me as I glare at her.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

I look back to see the guy in front of me lean his elbows onto the bar with a funny expression on his face almost as if he wanted to ask me something but at the last second he changes his mind.

So I stand there in silence drinking my orange juice vowing that at least tomorrow I will try again at going for a run maybe even going on one of the routes the bartender had mentioned.

Things take a turn for the awkward as the guy busies himself with work as I stand there feeling like a spare part whilst my aunt chats to the couple and I wonder what she is really up to.

“Isn't it time for your break?” Lilly aims this question at the bartender who nods then looks at me.

“Fancy joining me for a walk? The guy asks with a self-assured smile that suited him.

“Sure.” I smile back telling myself this was a good idea but I needed to have a word with Lilly later.

Not making eye contact with my aunt I follow the bartender outside back into the sunshine watching as he pulls out a pack of cigarettes from his back pocket.

“Where do you want to go?” The guy asks as I tell him I do not mind watching him light his cigarette replacing the pack back into his pocket.

“Greendale Park is nearby we can grab something from one of the vendors and sit in the sun?” I tell him warming to the idea.

‘Cool.” The guy smiles at me as we head along the street before crossing an intersection nearing the large gated entrance to the park.

‘You don’t mind hanging out with me on your break then.” I ask the bartender who grins at me.

“Of course not I asked you myself did I not?” The guy laughs and I nod.

“But I hardly know you.” I tell him the regret it as I swear I see hurt in his eyes but it is soon replaced by a sexy grin.

“I'm harmless.” The guy states looking away as I catch him staring at a blonde girl slightly denting my confidence but I tell myself I am just being silly.

Silence follows us once again as we walk together in the park and I try to think of something to say but nothing is coming to mind right now.

I sit down on a patch of grass whilst the bartender buys me a pretzel and I briefly wonder to myself if this constitutes as a date but then I laugh out loud at how stupid I sound.

“What’s so funny?” The guy asks as he hands me my food.

“Nothing.” I reply quickly hoping he will drop it as I did not want to appear like an idiot just yet.

“So have you decided if are you going to your boss who is also your exes wedding then?” The bartender questions as he takes a huge gulp of drink.

“I have no idea.” I tell him then add “But if I did I would need to dip my toe back into the dating pool as I sure as hell not going alone.”

“That is easy.” The guy smiles at me “Just play by the rules and the dating game won’t seem like such a big deal.”

“So you have been there and done that then?” I joke making the guy arch an eyebrow at me.

“I have so many tee shirts.” The bartender laughs at the face that I pull.

“Way to sound like a jerk.” I tell him ripping apart my pretzel in my hands.

“Me a jerk?” The bartender questions trying to look hurt as he pouts at me.

“All of my exes are jerks.” I dead pan then add “I attract a type.

“Guys like Hunter?” I hear the bartender ask with a small grin on his face.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

I have not heard that name in a long time I think as I look at the bartender trying to figure out why he had mentioned him.

“How do you know about him-“

“I thought you didn't recognize me.” The bartender smirks at me then it suddenly hits me as the light bulb clicks on above my head.

“Joe?” I shout suddenly recognizing his face my mouth opening wide in disbelief “Your Joe.”

This was the same guy who I had made out with in the dark eight years ago thinking it was Hunter the asshole who had rejected me.

“I thought you looked familiar when I met you.” I tell Joe as back in college he had shorter hair and liked to wind me up even then.

“Well it has been eight years.” Joe shrugs at me as I see that time has been good to him.

Joe’s hair was now longer and the five o clock shadow highlighting the firm jawline on his face made him look quite handsome.

This was so weird.

Feeling the rush of the past week catching up on me alongside memories I had thought were long buried I begin to feel light headed until everything turns to darkness and I pass out.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Hearing distant voices which sound like I was underwater I strain to open my eyes as I sit up on a bench then see Joe next to me and the memory floods back.

“Here.” Joe hands me a bottle of water as I watch him watching me whilst I take it from him then take a long drink.

How could I have fainted?

Feeling mortified I continue to drink as I try to connect this Joe to the one I barely knew at college because I had been obsessed with his friend instead.

“I punched Hunter in the face soon after you left that night.” Joe tells me cutting into my thoughts as I imagine the scene taking place.

“I felt like such an idiot.” I blurt out because I had wanted Joe to have been Hunter so badly it hurt to think about even now.

“It wasn’t you fault-“

“I don’t want to talk about it please.” I tell Joe then add “But I guess thanks for hitting the jerk for me he deserved it.”

“You’re welcome” Joe smiles at me as I begin to feel super weird about all of this as I remember how much I had enjoyed kissing this guy in the dark not knowing it was actually him.

The next thought scares me a little as I daydream about how good he could possibly be now in the bedroom was this my second chance?

Not that I had been given a first chance but sexy thoughts filter my mind of this guy next to me who isn’t exactly a total stranger any more.

“I should have told you when I met you in the bar.” Joe smiles at me apologetically.

“So you remembered me right away?” I ask him and he nods back.

“Sure your hair is longer now but I saw it was you.” Joe rubs a hand round the back of his neck looking momentarily awkward but it passes quickly.

“I guess we have a lot to catch up on.” I joke as I did not know much about Joe besides he was in many of the same classes as Hunter and they guy could make cool mix tapes.

“I won’t mention Hunter ever again.” Joe swears holding up his hand as I smile and bat it away but tell him I am thankful. 

The moment passes between us with so much still left unsaid because Joe is distracted by the blonde from earlier who appears by his side and I am forgotten about all over again.

“Let me guess.” The woman begins tapping a finger to her mouth “You are a Leo?”

As if by magic I see the switch from slightly awkward Joe to flirty bartender Joe take place as he explains that he is in fact a Virgo and the guy is really smooth as the woman eats out of his palm.

I see the blonde look at me but she quickly looks away victoriously as Joe leans closer to her moving a little away from me on the bench so I take this as my sign to leave. 

Sure running away wasn’t the best way to make an escape but before I know it I am on my feet moving as far away from that bench as possible so much for making a new start today.

I swear I hear Joe call out my name but that may well just be my over-active imagination because like a lot of people I just dreamed that my life was like a romantic comedy.

Yeah right I knew better because I always tried my hardest to not get so caught up in those damn films they were all lies.

Right now I needed to just retreat and hide under my duvet slash safety blanket until further notice or one of my friends found me.

What the hell was I going to tell my friends?

Only my aunt knew about that night at college in the three or so years I have known Gina and Casey I had never bought it up to them as I did not want to relive it.

Why did Joe have to come and work for my aunt?

Stopping to pause for breath outside the apartment I notice Joe never did follow me but that was the last thing I expected as he had been so caught up with the pretty blonde instead.

Feeling a wave of nostalgia hit me I walk as fast as I can up the steps then head right to my bedroom because it had been a stupid idea going outside as it only ever caused me trouble.

Picking up two cans of beer I slam my bedroom door as I fall flat onto my unmade bed opening one of the cans I sit up taking a huge gulp then place it next to me on my bedside table.

Laying back down I close my eyes and all I can imagine is college Joe and me making out which was something I wanted to rebury and forget. 

Why couldn't things just stay in the past?


	4. History Of Running Away

..............................................................................................................................................................................................................

Feeling like the world’s biggest loser and idiot combined I am now laying on one of the couches in the living room wishing I could close my eyes and just disappear.

Of all the bars in Greendale Joe had to choose to walk into my aunts did I not have enough drama in my life right now without having the past come back and bite me?

Sure it wasn’t like I was old friends with Joe he had been a background character all the while my eyes had been on his friend Hunter but we had history.

How was I going to look at him now and not be reminded of that night in college?

There was two options here either cut all ties with him and never return back to my aunts bar ever again or create new memories with the guy.

Joe was easy to talk to and a very funny guy but I had to call time on staring into his blue eyes or checking out his arms every time they were on show seeing I did that far too much.

Hearing the front door slam shut I groan loudly because this meant that my friends was here and I would have to talk to them and explain everything.

“Hey Riley.” Casey waves at me as she walks into the living room and Gina follows behind her carrying several reusable bags this meant that one of us had finally gone to the store.

“Liking the outfit.” Gina grins at me as she heads out into the kitchen dropping the bags with a heavy thud on the floor.

“Oh this?” I comment pointing at my checked shirt then add “I went out for a jog.“

“You went out?” Casey questions as she sits on the floor in front of the couch.

“Sure did.” I tell her with a smile waiting for Gina to come back so I could then replay to them what had happened today and at college in one take I did not want to dwell on this no more.

“What’s the deal?” Gina asks as she hands both me and Casey a beer then sits down on the floor next to Casey.

“Ok I've got something to tell you.” I begin mysteriously sitting up from the couch tucking some brown hair behind me ear.

“Did you meet someone?” Casey shouts excitedly but then pulls a face as I shake my head.

“Ok you are freaking me out right now.” Gina tells me “Just spill already.”

“Do you want the short or long version?” I tell them beginning to regret that I had even bought this up but I guess it was now or never.

“Just talk!" Casey pleads loudly.

“Ok I am saying all of this only once so please save all questions to the end.” I sigh then proceed to talk double quick about Lilly calling me to the bar then going for a walk with the bartender on his break.

“That sounds adorable. “ Casey smiles dreamily.

“So you spent how long checking him out?” Grins Gina as I smile back at her.

“No questions.” I tell her then continue my story “So the guy buys me something to eat and then we are both sitting on the grass chatting and he asks about Will’s wedding-“

“Why did he ask about that?” Casey groans telling me she didn't like where this story was going.

“He’s checking if you are single still.” Gina grins at me whilst nodding her head.

“Stop interrupting me!” I tell them “Or I won’t finish the story.”

“I don’t care.” Gina retorts with a laugh “Just please tell me there is some sex involved!”

“Well now you mention it.” I trail off remembering college and the fact I almost had sex with the bartender because what if Hunter had not stormed into the room that night.

“Really?” Casey claps her hands excitedly.

“Ok so we are talking and the bartender is teasing me about my track history of guys because they are basically all jerks and he agrees.” I continue as my friends look at me engrossed in my story.

“Then he mentions a guy named Hunter who I had spent two years obsessing over at college then it hits me who this guy is-“

“Who is he?” Casey practically screams at me hanging onto my every word despite cutting me off.

“I knew him at college.” I tell them simply then add “Joe was friends with Hunter and when I was drunk at our graduation party I made out with him thinking that he was his friend I was obsessed with.”

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Silence fills the room until Gina begins to slow clap and Casey starts also as I bow my head then the pair of them stand and I tell them to cut it out.

“So you didn't know he was this guy called Joe from college until he told you?” Casey questions.

“Nope. He told me that he recognized me right away.” I explain as Gina nods at me.

“He must have liked you at college then.” Gina tells me always the instigator.

For the first time I tell my two best friends the whole story of that last night I had spent in college from trying to find Hunter to running away as I had felt so humiliated when I found out it was Joe.

“So you haven’t seen Joe for eight years?” Casey asks me with wide eyes she loves a good story.

“Did Joe know that it was you then in his arms that night in the dark?” Gina counters giving me a look as I am stumped I never thought about that until now.

“I guess so.” I say out loud as I had always been so caught up on my part in the story I hadn't imagined that Joe had been there waiting for me.

“Ha!” Gina cheers then adds “By the sounds of it Joe liked you at college but you was too stuck on his idiot friend Hunter to see.”

“We are getting off track here.” I tell my friends as I did not believe that for a second as I explain that I only ever spoke to Joe at parties or when he made me a mix tape.

“Of course he made you mix tapes.” Gina smiles at me “The guy was begging for you to fuck him!”

“How could you make that assumption?’ I roll my eyes at Gina who wiggles her eyebrows back at me.

“Joe was giving you a part of himself in this case his taste in music.” Gina explains whilst Casey giggles into her hand.

“Wrong!” I tell her “ I was the only other person Joe knew who still had a cassette deck in their car so he made me mixes for the journey home back to my parents-“

“Where by listening to said mix tape I bet you were thinking of Joe he was planting the seed in your head the guy had it super bad for you.” Gina retorts as I go very quiet.

“Now you have frightened Riley.” Casey playfully hits Gina on the head who tells her to fuck off in return.

“I fainted when I found out who he really was.” I tell my friends who stop bickering and look at me “I woke up to find him flirting with some blonde woman so I ran away.”

“Like literally ran away?” Casey questions placing her hand over her mouth as I nod back.

“All the way to the couch.” I groan laying back down placing my hands over my face feeling really embarrassed.

“Well you sure like to play hard to get.” Gina jokes as I move my hands to give her one of my best glowering expressions but she is unfazed by all of my drama.

“He began flirting with a stranger as soon as he noticed I was ok that isn’t exactly me having a hold over him is it?” I retort at Gina hoping now I had told them my story they would leave it at that.

“I bet he was trying to make you jealous.” Casey informs me.

“Joe told me he would never mention that night again even though he did punch Hunter in the face once I had ran away.” I smile to myself as I imagine college Joe doing just that hitting his friend square on the face.

“So you have a history of running away?” Teases Casey.

“Joe has the hugest of boners for you.” Gina claps her hands “The fact he is back in your life it is like fate even though I don’t believe in any of that crap but seriously.”

“I think you should stop listening to Casey.” I deadpan as Casey pokes her tongue out at me.

“Can I be the first to say that the two of you should just hook up.” Gina states as I shake my head at her that would only make things even messier.

“It will never happen.” I sing song hoping this conversation would end soon as I was beginning to get super hungry.

“Let’s see what Lilly has to say on the matter because the fact you have been chatting with another guy other than Will is pretty awesome.” Gina winks at me.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

My aunt had known the whole story of college as I had soon gone to stay with her after my parents decided to divorce which was best for everyone involved.

Wondering what she would think when she found out who Joe really was I could just imagine herself and Gina planning to try and get the two of us together.

I was capable of doing that myself but not with Joe sure we had history but he probably saw me like an old friend or a younger sister which wasn’t what I was all about.

Lilly had collected my car before it would have gotten towed away from the college parking lot but that was long gone now as I had always used my aunts green VW beetle to get around.

“Joe could be your rebound?” Casey questions breaking into my thoughts.

“No way!” Gina laughs “Joe needs to be the main event a regular part of Riley’s sex life.”

“I doubt Joe would agree with you there on either or your ideas.” I smile at my friends.

“I bet if you asked him he would.” Gina snorts at me “Joe could even help you with that sex list?”

“I'm hungry what do you want to eat?” I question ignoring what Gina had just said as this was all getting way out of hand.

“Oh Joe!” Casey cries out in a faux sexy voice which encourages Gina who does the same both of them talking about all the things I would tell Joe to do to me.

“Grow up!” I snap blushing furiously at them both because this was ridiculous.

“Prove us wrong then.” Gina states with a shrug of her shoulders “Let’s see if Joe wants to be in the friend zone-“

‘Or the bone zone!” Cuts in Casey who thinks she is so funny sometimes but even I grin at that comment.

We spend the rest of the evening chatting together late into the night ignoring all of my friends comments about Joe and hooking up with him.

Fed up with applying for jobs I either could not care less about or I wasn’t qualified enough for I decided to check in on my Facebook page as it had been a while.

It had been a few days since the big reveal to my friends and finally all talk had ceased about Joe but I was still on my guard as I knew my friends all too well.

Seeing that I have over ten messages waiting for me I click on the icon to read through them but I wish that I hadn't when I see that Will is one of the recipients.

Deciding against deleting the message right away I open it up to read then begin to feel angry as he asks me to change my relationship status on my page because it has been so long since I logged in.

“Oh like that is the top of my fucking priority!” I snap at my laptop changing it instantly from in a relationship to single where I knew I was a lot better off.

The other messages were from work friends who voiced their concerns about me either being dumped or losing my job so I made a mental note to reply back to them soon.

Checking my profile page leads to me clicking on the Will’s name where I saw the he had indeed changed his relationship status to engaged and that his new profile pic was of him and the redhead.

Feeling a catch in my throat I ignore the threat of tears because I wasn’t upset over Will I was upset because I was jealous that he had somebody when I was all alone.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Without thinking I begin to type into the search box on Facebook until I find who I am looking for and then see Joe Trohman appear on my screen.

His profile pic is of a very angry looking cat and I fail not to notice that his relationship status was complicated which could mean a whole bunch of things I did not want to think about.

How you could define a person by their status on a social networking site anyway?

It was somewhere people liked to tell all and nothing was sacred unless you used vague references to define yourself confusing others.

“Researching jobs still are we?” Gina asks scaring the crap out of me as she appears from nowhere making me jump out from my seat at the kitchen table.

I look behind me to see Gina grinning as we both look back to my laptop to see a picture of Joe appearing on the screen.

“I was taking a break!” I tell my friend quickly closing the page then shutting my laptop firmly.

“Looks like you was cyber stalking to me.” Laughs Gina as I give her a look.

“I just thought I would check in on Facebook.” I begin ignoring my friend “Will sent me a message to change my relationship status-“

“You should change it to free and frisky.” Gina cuts in with a smile.

“I changed it back to single where I know I am better off then I remembered Joe’s last name and decided to check out his page.“

“It’s ok.” Gina pats me on the head which is something she knew I hated then adds “I told you I think he is totally boneable too.”

“Why are you interrupting me?” I snap at Gina feeling a little tired because I wasn’t sleeping properly again but I did have a lot to deal with right now.

“Get dressed we are going out.” Gina tells me simply.

“Going out where?” I question instantly feeling suspicious of my friend.

“Meeting Casey at Upside Down and if you come along I will buy you lunch.” Gina smiles at me widely.

Ever since I had found out who Joe really was I had not gone to see my aunt instead I made lame excuses but I was sure Lilly would come find me if I did not visit any time soon.

“Put something sexy on.” I hear Gina shout at me as I slam my bedroom door in response like a stubborn teenager chucking my laptop onto my bed I then raid my wardrobe for some clothes.

First of all I was not going to dress to impress for Joe and secondly the bar has been my place of choice before he was there so I think that I really should show my face.

Deciding on a old pair of dark blue skinny jeans with intentional rips at the knees from wear and tear during nights out I add a simple black vest and I am done. 

Leaving my hair down I tug a brush through it then flicking it over my left shoulder I rub some tinted moisturiser on my face then add mascara onto my eyelashes finishing with a nude coloured lip stain on my lips.

“Subtle but sexy.” Gina winks at me as I appear in the hallway and I smile back at her despite myself.

Checking my reflection I notice that my grey leopard print bra is on show which was not intentional but when I tell Gina I will go change she grabs my arm and tells me it is too late. 

“This is it, don’t get scared now.” My friend quotes one of my all-time favourite Christmas films to me and I nod back with a grin.

Telling myself this was easy because the idea of me and Joe in reality seemed ludicrous I hardly knew the guy and a make out session in the dark eight years ago did not a relationship make.

I loved early summer the change in weather which usually changed my mood because the sunshine made me feel a part of something good but right now I had never felt so nervous.

Like planned we met Casey outside the bar just as she was finishing a call on her phone most probably speaking to Justin I was told to lead the way in and so I did.

Never have I felt so unsure walking inside whilst scanning the bar as it was yet again quite packed full of suits grabbing a quick bite from the office to a mum with three kids running around their table.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

I find Lilly sitting at my favourite spot so walking closer I wrap my arms around my aunt into a hug which surprises her.

“Hello Riley.” My aunt spins round in her seat making the heavy jewellery on her arms hit against the bare wood of the bar.

“We finally got her here!“ Casey states then stops as Gina jabs her hard in the ribs and the pair begin to argue as I narrow my eyes at them.

“You look nice.” Lilly distracts me as she points at my clothes “I was beginning to forget what you looked like.”

“Very funny.” I state aiming this at both my aunt and my friends.

Looking around I do not see Joe and I silently hoped that Lilly had sent him packing so he was gone from my life and I could stop thinking about him.

“So I take it you know all the sordid details.” I ask my aunt who looks like she is about to deny it but thankfully thinks better of it as she smiles at me.

“We care about you.” Lilly tells me then adds “Both Casey and Gina have filled me in I was very surprised to be honest but don’t worry I haven’t spoken to Joe about it yet.“

“Spoken to me about what?” The guy himself appears from round the back of the bar and I fail not to notice the look that passes between my aunt and friends. 

“About how great Riley looks today!” My aunt smiles at me as I see Joe look me up and down whilst I try to ignore the warm feeling I am left with as his eyes linger over my body.

“I agree she does look pretty good when she is standing still and isn’t a blur” Joe tells Lilly as I hear Casey giggling behind me the girl can never hide her emotions she is so see through.

“If Riley decides to run away again we will stop her.” Gina tells Joe as he grins back at me looking like he is enjoying this as much as everyone else is.

“I will go and get today’s menus.” Lilly states standing off the stool brushing down her long bright blue fabric skirt which is decorated in white flowers and elephants.

Watching my aunt’s retreating back I almost want to follow her but Gina introduces herself and Casey to Joe whilst he tells them it is a pleasure which is something I disagree with.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

“So are you working today?” Gina shoots this question at Joe who shakes his head and tells us he has finished and was just about to leave.

Thank god for small mercies.

“Ah that is a shame.” Casey replies with a mock sigh “Riley was telling us about how cool your cocktails are and that they taste really good!.

“Not the alcoholic then are we?” Joe teases with a sexy grin as I take in the guy in front of me with fresh new eyes because I now knew who he was.

“Only when I am handed drinks of the alcoholic then variety I am.” I reply with a laugh as Joe smirks at me.

“So you are acknowledging the fact that I spent most of my time at college getting you drinks then? “ Joe smiles at me leaning his head to one side as he is waiting for a reaction.

‘I never asked you to.” I mutter defensively as I was not used to flirting like this it was all new to me as whenever I had met guys in the past they were friends of my friends or I was completely wasted.

“Do you remember that night you stole those beers from these two guys who were in the college soccer team?” Joe shudders as he remembers how he had found me laying out the front of the campus drinking those beers.

“Did Riley really do that?” Laughed Casey who was engrossed in our conversation grinning at me all the while.

‘Sure did.” Joe nodded at my friend “I got a black eye for my efforts of helping her whilst Riley continued to drink the beer until she threw up all over my favorite checked shirt.”

“I think I improved that shirt.” I smile at the memory and at the same time the realization that Joe had been in my life a lot more than Hunter ever was but I had been too blind to see.

“You ok?” Joe looks concerned as he notices the face I must have been pulling.

“Sure.” I smile feeling anything but as I had not reminisced about college for a long time.

“What are you guys drinking?” Elise appears in front of me and Joe as I look to my left to see Lilly talking with Casey as they hid behind menus and Gina was talking to a guy in a suit down at the other end of the bar.

“Beer?” Joe questions as I see Elise grin at me which makes me wonder if she knows about me and her new work colleague. 

“Haven’t you finished work? “ I ask wondering why he was hanging around.

“I have no real plans.” Joe tells me as he asks for two beers from Elise and I watch as he sits his tall frame into the stool next to me.

“Cool.” I smile sounding anything but as I begin to feel super awkward and like I am being watched as I notice Casey staring at me until my aunt hits her with a menu.

“You do look nice.” Joe tells me and looks at me with wide eyes as I begin to laugh.

“Did my aunt make you say that?” I grin back at him as he rests an elbow on the bar then moves the stool a little so his knees are touching mine.

“No I am just being nice.” Joe rolls his eyes at me then adds “You need to take a compliment and not shove it back into somebody’s face.”

“I am more than just a compliment-“

“Listen to the guy!” Elise states reappearing with the beers cutting me off as she points at Joe then adds “You could learn something from him.” 

“So I have heard.” I tell Elise who winks back at me.

‘Whatever you have heard is all probably true.” Joe tells me flippantly as I reach for a beer and pull it in front of me.

“All of it?” I laugh as he nudges me with his right shoulder and I finally begin to relax and enjoy the easy conversation between us.

“Especially this one rumour.” Joe grins as he takes a drink of beer all the way maintaining eye contact with me.

“Do I need more beer to hear this?” I smile as Joe nods back making me laugh loudly causing my friends to look over.

“Yeah you do would you like to head to another bar later with-“

Joe stops talking when he realizes his phone is ringing and with an apologetic look aimed in my direction he answers it leaving me wondering what the guy was about to say to me.

“That sounds really interesting.” I overhear Joe say because I was really trying not to eavesdrop but it was hard when he was sitting next to me.

“Oh yeah I can’t wait.” Joe tells whoever he is speaking to and I am so jealous as the voice he is using to whoever is on the other line sounds very sexy and I am completely forgotten about.

I look back at Gina who gives me the thumbs up and I roll my eyes at her as I quickly drink some of my beer hoping Joe was going to finish what he had been saying to me before he took the call. 

“I can be there in ten.” I hear Joe state as he finishes his call and catches me staring at him as I quickly look away.

“What was you going to ask me?” I question hoping to bring the conversation back to me even though I was really interested in what he had been saying whilst he took his call.

“Oh.” Joe stands from his stool looking at me like he had forgotten I was even there which was exactly how I had felt “Sorry to be a jerk but I have to go that call was an old friend-.”

“That’s ok.” I cut him off trying to hide my disappointment “You go be a jerk.”

“Touche.” Joe winks at me as he shouts and waves goodbye to everyone then he is off out the door gone to meet whoever had called him.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

“What happened?” Casey grabs hold of my arm as I knew both her and my aunt had been listening to our conversation.

“We were talking then he got a phone call so Joe had to go.” I tell them with a shrug of my shoulders finishing my beer then telling Lilly that I demanded another.

“Sounded like a booty call to me!” Yells Gina even though she walks back over to us leaving the guy in the suit staring after her she had obviously gotten bored of him already.

“How do you know that?” I question still feeling a little sore that Joe had left the bar in such a hurry.

“I have heard him talk a lot to somebody on the phone in that sexy voice.” Elise agrees with a smile as I try to deny that I even heard a sexy tone in his voice because I did but that wasn’t the point right now.

“He looks like the kind of guy who would just drop everything just to come running and have a quick session with you.” Gina states with a smug grin.

“So Riley needs to be with careful with Joe then?” My aunt nods at me “He sounds like the kind of man who could end up getting you pregnant with just his voice!”

“I doubt that has ever happened.” I sulk wishing not to be part of this conversation any more as I recall Joe’s relationship status was complicated and I agreed the guy was just that.

“I bet that is exactly where he is going.” Gina explains to me “He looks like he knows what he is doing in the bedroom.” 

“How can you assume that?” I snort hating the way my voice had turned into a childlike whine.

“Firstly he is full of confidence and secondly it is the way he presents himself not too full on but just enough to grab your attention and keep you hooked.” Gina grins as she had an audience with my aunt and Elise.

“So you think he has a large-“ 

“Of course!” Gina winks at me as I glare at Casey for getting our friend all fired up she just loved to talk about guys it was an obsession.

“Has a large what?” Elise looks at Casey then at Gina who mouths something and they both descend into laughter.

“You’re gross.” I tell Elise and Gina feeling thankful that Joe was gone far away from the bar.

“Well if you don’t want him Riley I will.” Elise smiles pushing some strands of her long platinum blonde hair away from her face “But you know him from college so-“

“Have you been telling everyone?” I snap at my aunt then wish I hadn't because it sounded a lot like I was jealous.

“We are all family here.” Casey tells me “I personally think it is good for you to be getting along with Joe. “

“I hardly know him!” I order as Lilly silently hands me another beer and I grab it eagerly.

“Well maybe you should get to know him.” My aunt grins at me as I try not to smile back because I wanted to still sound defiant about this whole talk that was taking place.

“Sounded like you both have some memories of each other from college.” Casey states and that makes me grin as I recall that night I had stolen beer from those two jocks.

“Ok but I just called dibs on Joe!’ Jokes Elise holding her hands in the air but then she asks“Unless you want to?” 

I catch the tone in Elise’s voice which is two parts teasing mixed with one part questioning I bet if she did decide to flirt with Joe he would be all over the idea.

“Riley is too chicken.” States Casey as I ignore her instead I begin to drink my second beer because I think I was going to need it.

“Maybe we should give her a hand-"

“I don’t need any help.” I snap turning round on my stool cutting off Elise “I will meet a guy when I am ready which right now I am not.”

“So if Joe offered himself to you then you would say no?” Gina questions making my aunt grin at me as I began to feel my cheeks turn red.

“I wouldn't kick him out of bed.” Elise states causing everybody to laugh even me levitating all the tension at the bar.

“Who will help you then with the sex list?” Casey asks bringing up the worst topic at the worst possible moment.

“The what?” My aunt repeats as I pretend to not hear her talking to me.

“Basically it is a list of all the things Riley would like to do sexually because it is modern times and she is an independent woman!” Gina cheers as her and Elise then begin to sing the chorus to that super catchy Destiny Child’s song.

“Colour me intrigued.” My aunt informs me as an in depth discussion of the list is explained and I think I can never show my face here ever again.

“Does Joe appear in that list then?” Elise asks me trying to keep a straight face.

“No and he never will.” I deadpan then add “I do not want to become a notch on his bedpost thank you very much.”

Soon talk swiftly moved on from me to my aunt because apparently there was a man who came into the bar and always asked for her.

So my aunt was getting more attention from the opposite sex than me and her answer to that was for me to look less defensive all the time also to push my chest out more.

Finally getting around to eating some food the three of us sit at the bar drinking beer and chatting as Elise and my aunt drifted in and out of the conversation.

The carbonara and garlic bread was perfection and a nice distraction from earlier as I could not help but wonder just where had Joe gone?


	5. Excess Baggage

..............................................................................................................................................................................................................

Receiving an email to say that I have an interview at a local art gallery in town I try to remain calm as this was it a chance to begin my new life.

The job was working alongside the manager to work as a PR promoting the gallery and liaising with artists so they could use space within in the gallery to show off their work.

My art degree had helped me get the interview alongside my office knowledge but the idea of working at a gallery excited me because it was something different.

All I hoped was that the gallery was diverse and not a bunch of pretentious frauds all swelling each other’s egos with their insincere words to one another.

That was basically most of the students on my course so full of themselves that I got off on bursting their bubbles when I thought they were getting above themselves.

I hated it when someone told me I was not good enough and I had Katy my only true ally at college to stand by my side throughout those two years trying to make it to the end.

Looking back on it I would never wish that I was back at college they were some mixed up times and I think I preferred it in the real world anyway.

The gallery is called “On Point” it’s a small white building with a silver sign out the front and a large grey door welcoming you in.

Several days after the talk at the bar with my friends I had pushed all thoughts about Joe and the sex list which I refused to ever mention again unless I found a guy personally who could help me with it.

Walking inside the gallery I find an enclosed reception area where on the ceiling old fashioned push bikes are hanging up covered in old gig posters. 

Unsure if that was cool or not I wait at the desk until a guy with aqua coloured hair sees me and heads over looking like he is unsure if he even wants to speak to me.

Great start.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

“Hi I am here to see Jeremy for an interview?” I tell the guy who does just what I thought he would ignore me at first until he looks up finally then nods.

Pointing to two white plastic chairs I go to sit at one as I watch the guy pick up the cordless phone behind the desk then begin to talk to somebody in a quiet voice.

Feeling way out of my depth I wonder if this job is even right for me then decide that an interview is better than no interview so I go with it.

Was this going to be a huge mistake?

Beginning to get really pissed off with waiting because my interview was supposed to have started at least forty five minutes ago I was about to start getting snappy.

The phone at the reception desk has been ringing constantly but the guy I had spoken to looks at it with disdain as he continues to talk to a girl with flame red hair both of them ignoring everything around them.

I had been researching recent shows here at the gallery thanks to a pile of flyers on the large metal coffee table ignoring the glossy magazine next to them.

Had the guy with the faded aqua hair even got his boss for me to speak to or was this all a part of an unfunny joke I was beginning to get a little worried.

“Are you here for the interview?” A male voice questions as I look up and see a guy in an ugly grey suit bordering on vintage wearing a skinny black tie and brown loafers.

Nodding I stand as the guy silently turns round and begins to walk off which I guess means that I should follow him so I do.

“Just up these stairs then we will turn left” The guy informs me as we walk through a room where it is all blue literally everything in it is painted sky blue making my white sundress look almost florescent.

Entering the room on the far left I follow behind this guy who I assume is Jeremy as he hasn't even introduced himself or asked me my name was I like ruining his day or something by just being here?

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

“Sit down.” The guy tells me as he crosses the large office space to the wooden desk covered in files and what looked like laptop cases.

“Thank you.” I begin trying to be the polite one in the room.

“So I'm Liam.” The guy tells me then explains “Jeremy was called away so it is my duty to sort out the interviews for today.”

“Ok.” I nod not really knowing what else to say because I always felt nervous during interviews but the fact I had to wait ages had made me a little angry.

“The job is for a PR person who will also be dealing with the day to day at the reception so we want someone who is very sociable and who knows their stuff when it comes to art.” Liam tells me as he readjusts his idiotic skinny tie.

“Jeremy chose the people he wanted to interview so I will just have to have a quick look through your resume what’s your name?” Liam finally asks me my name and it worries me a little as he begins to push papers across the desk.

“It is Riley Hobbs.“ I tell him whist I order myself for the hundredth time to remain calm.

“Ok let’s have a look!” Liam grins at me from across the desk as he holds up my resume in his hands and I watch him as he reads it.  
Silence fills the room whilst I begin to fiddle with the hem of my white sundress stopping myself from babbling like an idiot.

“You graduated Greendale College a while ago.” Liam states making me feel a little on edge from the tone of his voice.

“I passed my degree.“ I tell him.

“Not much experience but you have a good look.” Liam winks at me as I try to process what it was he just said to me.

Dropping my resume back onto the desk Liam stands up from his seat as he walks around behind me and I can feel my eyes on him.

“Do you really want this job?” Liam asks me as he leans his hands on my chair.

“Of course that is why I am here I have excellent customer service skills and despite it being a few years since I've graduated college I am a fast learner.” I tell Liam because this was turning into a weird interview.

“I bet there are a few things I could teach you?” Liam grins at me as I glare at him because there was no way this was happening.

“Excuse me.” I begin feeling the anger rise from the pit of my stomach because I had applied for a ton of jobs already and this was the only place that had replied back to me.

“Look I am afraid you are not qualified for the PR position but there maybe another position you could fill fancy meeting me later for a drink?” Liam smiles at me and I notice just how much of a jerk he looks like which has done it now because I am really mad.

“How about no.” I tell Liam standing from my seat trying to stay as far away from him as possible “I wouldn't work with you or go out for a drink with you ever.”

“Look babe-’”

“Don’t call me babe.” I hold my hands up in front of me wishing this was a nightmare because this place was my own personal hell.

“Chill out.” Liam laughs at my reaction making me even angrier.

“This place and you are both a joke so I am leaving now.” I tell Liam as I cannot believe what was actually happening here.

“Send the next applicant in on your way out.” Liam shouts as I storm out from the office ignoring him.

“Fuck you!” I snap walking out of the gallery as fast as I could how I dare get treated like that by that asshole even if he had given me the job I would have told him where to stick it.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Back outside in the sunshine I don’t know whether I want to cry or laugh because my life wasn’t really going in any new direction I could swear that I was just going backwards.

The happiness I had felt for getting an interview was long gone seeing as what had just happened in there was pretty humiliating.

Running for a bus I manage to get to the stop just in time as I place the correct money into the machine as the driver nods at me then slams the doors shut.

Heading back to my side of town I decide I will not go straight home as I needed to talk to somebody to off load all of today’s excess baggage.

Heading inside Upside Down it is quiet and I feel my stomach dip as I spy Joe at the bar his curly brown hair obscuring his blue eyes.

Looking to my right I spy my aunt talking to a man and I nod at her as she leaves with him failing not to notice the wide smile on her face as she grins at me.

“Has my aunt got a date?” I ask Joe as I sit in the stool in front of him seeing him briefly look up then back down at his newspaper like he hadn't even acknowledged me.

“Looks that way.” Joe mutters as I look back at him to see the blank look on his face.

“Is somebody having a shit day like me?” I ask trying to lighten the mood.

“Do you want a beer?” Joe questions not quite meeting my eye or waiting for an answer as he turns to grab a cold bottle from the fridge opening it then places it in front of me. 

Joe was acting completely different to the other day where had the light conversation gone as he kept his brown hair over his eyes so I couldn't read him.

Hearing a beep from his phone next to him I watch as Joe pushes it further away ignoring whoever had messaged him whilst he continued to read.

Silently drinking my beer I wonder who the man was that was putting that huge smile on my aunt’s face it was great to see her getting out there.

Lilly had never been married or in a long term relationship for that matter nowadays she preferred to make new friends here at the bar and go out with them.

I called them dates but Lilly thought that was cheesy because she liked to spend some time with male company because she told me that she was not made out of steel.

If my aunt and Gina were in the same room then things would take a turn as I felt a little embarrassed talking to Lilly about her sex life which she always informed me that she was allowed one.

I am not denying that but when it is family who are explaining the finer details of a sexual conquest then count me out as I begin to get cold sweats and shiver with humiliation.

Gina and even Casey thinks that I'm a prude which isn’t true it is just that I have always kept my relationships whenever I was in one private that was my prerogative.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

“Fuck.” Joe snaps as his phone beeps yet again he picks it up then shoves it into the back of his jeans pocket his mood matching mine.

“Do you want to go first or shall I?” I ask Joe smiling at him as he finally moves his hair from his eyes and I can see his face clearly.

“Comparing relationship stories.” Joe begins with a wry smirk then adds “I don’t think so.”

“Ah so it is a woman giving you man woes then?” I question as Joe silently nods and I am happy we are getting somewhere.

“Of course.” Joe looks up rubbing a hand over the back of neck like he is contemplating telling me his story so I decide to go first.

“I got hit on today during an interview for a job.” I tell Joe who looks shocked which annoys me a little but I let it slide.

So then I go on to explain how I had applied for the job at the gallery which Joe tells me is cool then I tell him how the interview if you could even call it that played out.

“Well that’s shitty.” Joe tells me as I nod but finds it funny that I told the guy exactly where he could go with his job.

“Remind me never to get on your bad side.” Joe laughs as I try to look insulted but end up laughing along with him.

I notice Max another bartender watching us from the corner of my eye I bet he is making notes so he could report back to my aunt because she was always on my case about talking to guys.

This was different, this was Joe it was just two old friends who did not know a lot about each other talking easily whilst in the company of alcohol.

“Ok now it is your turn,” I tell Joe mouthing thanks as he hands me another beer whilst I watch him drink from a Coke can I guess one of us needs to be sober to remember this conversation.

“Ex problems.” Joe explains simply without carrying on with his explanation.

“I gathered it was something like that.” I press jabbing a finger into his lower arm to get his attention as he looked like he wanted to leave it there.

“Hooking up with an ex who cheated on you and is now cheating on the other guy is complicated.” Joe states which reminds me of his status on Facebook and how it must be true.

“Why did you go back?” I ask Joe as I could not imagine running back into Will’s arms ever again I was getting over the thought of him because I had stupidly placed him so high on a pedestal. 

“I couldn't stay away.” Joe tells me with a shrug but then adds “Yet now that she has chosen the other guy over me I am really trying to ignore her.”

“So is it your ex who is blowing up your phone right now?” I question as Joe silently nods back at me.

“Need to try and forget her because I am becoming something I hate.” Joe tells me mysteriously leaving his comment to sit in the air so I could take it in.

Next thing I know Joe is telling me the whole story of him and his ex-girlfriend Shona who he had met at a book store and their relationship had lasted a year and a half. 

Joe was working for a friend who was a manager of a popular bar chain in the centre of town he would help out when needed and the worst thing he ever did was introduce his boss to Shona.

Walking in on them having sex in his friends office Joe went mad smashing up the place and he still shudders now at the scared look Shona had given him and how she had cowered behind the other guy.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

“For a few months now Shona and Leon had been dating but she soon came running back to me and I took the bait.” Joe tells me looking ahead in the distance his messy hair hanging over his eyes again.

“It wasn’t a mutual thing?” I ask as Joe snorts back at me.

“I thought it was but I was wrong because she told me the other night that she had chosen him for real this time.” Joe pulls a face like he felt huge discomfort from talking about this to me but I think he also needed to vent.

“So was it Shona who had called you the other night?” I ask Joe who nods but then he grins at me.

“I would of much rather have stayed here with you.” Joe winks at me aiming his charm directly as it hits me right in the stomach completely throwing me.

“So what is going to happen now?” I ask Joe trying not to blush as he shrugs back at me.

“Dip my toe back into the dating pool I think.” Joe states repeating something I had recently said making me grin back at him.

“Is it that easy to just move on?” I wonder out loud as it really did suck to be in limbo like this as I hated sleeping alone and I hated myself for not wanting to stay single.

“Super easy!” Joe grins at me then tells me “You meet someone, hopefully you click and then the fun really starts.”

“You sound like the voice of experience.” I deadpan as Joe laughs at my comment.

“Maybe I could help you?” Joe grins at me whilst I try to think of a good enough come back.

“I am not that easy.” I tell Joe who brushes his hair to one side and I see the playful look in his eyes.

“That is the key.” Joe explains “Desperation stinks and once somebody smells it that is it you need to move along.”

“But I am desperate!” I shout at Joe only a few beers down I couldn't even blame that I was telling him the truth.

“There is no rush.” Joe tells me calmly “It is all about getting out there because there is no stigma attached to being single so just stay calm and don’t play all your cards at once.”

“I haven’t even had a one night stand.” I state at Joe then add “I am the worst.”

“No you are not.” Joe looks me deep in the eyes as he leans forward across the bar “You are hot and single you need to snap out of your funk and have some fun of the sexual kind!”

“I am not hot.” I mutter as I finish my third beer then feel a little put out as Joe does not defend my statement he instead turns round to face the large fridge behind the bar.

“Try this.” Joe smiles as he turns round again handing me a shot glass filled with clear liquid which had little bits floating around in it.

“It is vodka with peach bits in it.” Joe tells me as he watches me down the shot which burns my throat but I savour the sweet after taste.

“Give me the bottle!” I yell at Joe thinking that I needed a few more to help me through the rest of the day.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

The bar remained quiet as the evening was met by night and Joe chatted to me the whole time which made me not think about the interview but feel special that we were hanging out together.

Max worked round the bar often commenting about us flirting together which did put a dampener on our conversation a few times but Joe would crack a joke that often made me smile.

“I think you have had enough.” Joe grins as I tell him that he is the winner of a one night stand courtesy of me.

“It’s all about having fun!” I wink at Joe feeling the most empowered I had in a long while but maybe that was all the booze talking.

“You will regret this conversation later.” Joe smiles at me but adds “If not you know where I am.”

“To hook up with?” I question as Joe tells me he had called me a cab which I never saw him do because he had been talking to me the whole time.

Walking me out of Upside Down which was exactly how my stomach felt like Joe waited with me until a cab magically appeared outside and he saw that I was safe inside.

Thinking of something witty to say I miss my moment as Joe closes the car door in my face and then I am left feeling very unsatisfied and hurt.

Falling into bed even though it is only half nine at night I vowed to not think about today any more well at least not the bad parts because hanging out with Joe had been a major bonus.

He was just the person I needed to talk to as I tried to remember what we had been talking about in my mind but instead I quickly drift into a drunken sleep.

“I am never drinking again.” I tell Gina in a small voice as I lay my face flat onto the kitchen table ignoring the black coffee my friend had put in front of me.

“We all say that.” Gina tells me as I hear the smirk in her voice because I wasn’t going to lift my head up because everything hurt too much.

“I really mean it this time.” I whine because I had explained the reason why I had drunk and laughed a little because Gina wanted to go down to the gallery and meet that Liam guy herself.

“Art galleries around here are such a joke!” Gina states probably remembering that night we had met as she was jilted by a date at a place which was now closed down.

“The best artists display their work at Lilly’s bar.” I tell Gina because it was true the people who worked with my aunt were gifted in their field and not assholes about it either.

“Maybe you should dust off your camera or create something on canvas again?” Gina questions making me lift my head up as I give her a look.

“I'm not ready.” I tell Gina feeling no thrill in the idea of expressing myself because I knew it would not look pretty just mostly black due to my mixed emotions in everything.

“I bet if Joe asked you would.” Gina grins at me as I attempt to drink the coffee but it only made me feel sicker.

“What does that mean?” I retort not wanting to talk about last night because spending time with Joe at the bar had been much needed and I wanted to savour it.

“Max told me the pair of you were talking for hours last night.” Gina laughs as she sees my face then I remember that the bartender and my friend used to hook up.

“He is such a huge gossip.” I roll my eyes then trying to change the subject I ask “So you still keep in contact with Max then?”

“Enough about me.” Gina brushes off my question too quickly for my liking “What did you and Joe spend hours talking about?”

“It wasn’t exactly hours-“ I stop mid-sentence as I recall telling Joe how he had won a hook up with me that was it I needed to stop drinking full stop.

“What?” Gina jumped on my pause noticing the look that must have been plastered all over my face “Did you flirt with Joe-“

“Hey!” Casey walks into the kitchen because we very rarely remember to lock our front door it is a surprise we haven’t been robbed yet.

“Morning!” I groan feeling thankful that Casey was here because I don’t think I could deal with any more of Gina trying to grill me.

“What is wrong with you?” Casey aims that question at me as I shrug my shoulders not wanting to talk no more I just wanted to go back to bed.

“Riley spent the night with Joe.” Gina tells Casey which makes me wave my hands furiously in disagreement when I see the look on my friends face.

“You had rebound sex?” Casey cheers as I shake my head at her then glare at Gina.

“Nope not even regular sex took place as I hanged out with Joe last night after another shitty day to add to my list of shitty days.” I tell Casey who is still smiling at me.

“Hanged out eh.” Gina nudges me whilst I sit down again because I was beginning to feel light headed.

“Yes we chatted about how shit our lives are and I drank most of my worries away.” I tell them as I notice Casey is wearing smart clothes and her large Jungle Juice name badge.

“Do you have work?” I ask Casey who laughs at me.

“It is the afternoon I have just finished work.” Casey informs me as I groan again because I have wasted a whole day being sick and sleeping it off.

“So did Joe try it on with you?” Gina asks me as Casey laughs in the background.

“No we were at opposite sides of the bar talking.” I tell them for the hundredth time.

“Well that isn’t on.” Gina laughs as I tell her to shut the fuck up because she was really getting on my nerves.

“Did you not mention the sex list to him then?” Casey asks with a grin “I bet he would really like to know about that.”

“Oh sure!” I roll my eyes at my friends then add sarcastically “Joe even made some suggestions.” 

“I bet he knows all the moves!” Gina laughs at me nodding.

“Do not want to be thinking about that right now.” I tell my friends who are still giggling at me.

“Anyway.” Casey begins sitting down next to me at the table “I have news.”

“Do tell. “ Begins Gina with a wide grin as Casey nods at her all the while I look at them both confused I hated it when they plotted stuff around me.

“Riley I have a surprise.” Casey begins looking at me as I stare back waiting for the punchline.

“What is it?” I mutter as I hated dramatic pauses and right now Casey was winding me right up.

“I've set you up on a date.” Casey claps her hands as I look at her horrified.

“You've done what?” I snap “I never even asked you to go out and find me someone.”

“Who is it?” Gina questions excitedly.

“His name is Lance and he works with Justin at the Urban Nights magazine he is-“

“I feel sick.” I cut in running out of the kitchen to the bathroom slamming the door shut as all my nerves and stress get the better of me.

I was not ready to date again.

Eventually when I come out from hiding both Gina and Casey are sitting at the kitchen table drinking wine without me.

“Want a glass?” Gina grins at me as I nod sitting down opposite her at the table.

“I will never drink alcohol again after tonight.” I tell my friends with a smile.

“But you are probably going to need it for your date.” Casey teases as I take a large gulp of wine.

“I am not going on a blind date.” I explain to my friends in a serious tone.

“What if we came along with you?” Gina questions “Like me and Casey could hang out in the background of the bar making sure it all goes ok.”

“If you ever do that I will kill you both.” I tell them directly finishing off my drink reaching for the bottle in front of me.

“This date will be a great experience for you and you may even hit it off with the guy.” Casey advises me with a wink.

“Or tick one night stand off your list?” Gina laughs at my face as I blush at the memory of last night.

“Joe told me to have more fun.” I tell my friends with a smile.

“He has really made an impression on you hasn't he?” Casey questions looking thoughtful for a moment.

“Oh so you listen to Joe and not your best friends.” Gina retorts trying to look mad but her smile is giving her away.

“He isn’t as mean as you guys.” I tell my friends pointing at them both as they attempt to look innocent.

“But we are not trying to get into your pants.” Casey states as I splutter into my glass of wine.

“Joe isn’t trying to-“

“Riley you are so naïve.” Gina grins at me as I give her an angry look.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Before there was Will I never really dated neither did I have a one a night stand so this was all new territory for me.

Sure I've had several relationships in the past but I kind of fell into them and well they never obviously lasted so that was why I was in this mess.

Receiving advice from both my friends did not help my nerves even worse my mum called offering her words of wisdom which was as embarrassing as it sounded. 

On the day of the date I go to speak to my aunt because I think it was Lilly who had spoken to my mum as she was hinting about coming to visit Greendale.

“So my mum called me.” I state at Lilly as she was outside the bar pointing at the window.

“Clara was worried about you.” My aunt tells me as she holds a thumb up and I turn to see Joe is putting posters up on the inside.

Waving back at Joe I look towards Lilly who is grinning from ear to ear “Well she doesn't need to worry because I have you and my friends meddling with my life.”

“I am insulted.” My aunt laughs at me then adds “We are all rooting for you kid.”

Watching Lilly walk back inside I stand outside to read the flyers that Joe had been putting on the window one about an art class which was going to take place and something about a live gig .

“I hear someone has a date?” Joe tells me as I turn to see the guy standing behind me his hands tucked into his jeans front pockets.

“Word gets around quick.” I smile as Joe grins back explaining that my aunt had told everyone because she was so proud of me getting my life back.

“It’s only a blind date hardly a life changer.” I state because I felt nervous enough already.

“I could offer you some advice?” Joe questions as he lights a cigarette and I watch intently as he inhales deeply.

“Think I have had enough of that I will just try and have some fun.” I tell Joe who laughs at me.

Talk continues whilst my aunt who practically has her face up against the window is watching me and Joe so I wave at her and we walk off together.

Buying me a smoothie Joe leads the way as we head back into the park which is busy filled with students, families and suits eating their lunch in the sunshine.

“Where are you meeting your blind date tonight?” Joe questions as we sit down together on the grass and I stretch my legs out in front of me as I am wearing a black and white striped sundress with light green flip flops.

“At the bistro on Hampton Street.” I explain to Joe as the place was a small dimly lit affair somewhere I would never normally go but hey it was a blind date.

“Fancy.” Joe grins at me as I roll my eyes then brush off grass which was stuck on my legs.

“I am so nervous.” I tell Joe honestly because I had told my friends I was fine and almost got as excited as them but in front of this guy I needed to tell the truth.

“So let’s practice.” Joe smiles tapping a hand onto my bare leg “Pretend I am your blind date.” 

“But I know you. “ I tell Joe not liking where this was going.

“Barely.” Joe cuts in with a laugh “I was the guy you kind of knew at college who was sort of friends with the idiot Hunter.”

“I thought you wasn’t going to mention his name again.” I tell Joe as this took a sudden turn because I had always assumed Joe and Hunter had been good friends.

“We are getting off track here.” Joe nods as he sits facing me as I cross my legs over one another and place my hands onto the warm grass.

It was now the middle of May with the sun making a warm appearance everyday filling the sky with bright light to match the clear blue sky making a nice back drop to this weird conversation.

“Ok so what do I say?” I ask Joe only half wanting to play along as I had been enjoying it when we had been talking and he was making me laugh.

“How about hello?” Joe grins as he holds out a large hand to meet mine as he shake hands and introduce ourselves to each other.

“This is stupid.” I whine feeling embarrassed as Joe comments on how nice I look whilst I catch him checking me out.

From then on things get even more humiliating as I fail to even fake flirt properly in front of Joe he must think of me as really naïve I sucked at this.

“So where do you want to go after this?” Joe asks me with a sexy grin playing around his lips.

“Take me back to yours?” I tell him sitting up a little straighter trying to project sexiness when instead Joe bursts into crazy laughter.

“I meant after this.” Joe points from me to him and I understand now that he meant after being here at the park.

“That was sneaky.” I smile back trying not to blush as I push Joe but he doesn't move instead he makes me yelp as he playfully grabs hold of me and falls on top of me.

“I think you will be fine tonight.” Joe states looking down at me as he holds onto my arms clutching tightly.

“Thanks for the pep talk.” I joke as I try to move and Joe noticing my discomfort quickly gets up off the grass standing up stretching his arms above his head.

“That was the best fake date I have ever had.” Joe tells me as he holds out a hand and I take it standing up next to him noticing not for the first time how short I was as I stood next to him.

“So when can I call you?” I question with a teasing smile but then panic as Joe actually takes out his phone from his back pocket.

“What about if it doesn't work out you can call me to plan an escape then maybe come round to mine?” Joe tells me nonchalantly as I feel my heart begin to palpitate.

“I could just run away?” I smirk ignoring the hint of an invitation in Joe’s voice because I obviously had imagined it.

“Is that your thing?” Joe asks with a grin as we continue to walk and I enjoy the sensation of his hand on my lower back as he guides me through people lounging on the grass.

When it is time for me to go home and get ready for my date Joe gives me an unexpected hug as he tells me it will all be fine and as I turn he pats me on the ass.

“To wish you luck.” Joe grins at me as I shake my head but find myself grinning back at him.

On the way home I think about all the advice I had been given and tell myself not to worry just to have fun and not look to far into what had happened at the park because it had all been fake.

I had more things to worry about than harmless flirting like what was I going to wear tonight?


	6. Awkward Conversations

..............................................................................................................................................................................................................

Seeing how embarrassing my practice date with Joe was I did not know what to expect tonight whilst I attempted to straighten my fringe still deciding what I wanted to wear.

Both Casey and Gina had been chucked out of my room whilst I was getting ready as they were a huge distraction and not helping my nerves one bit.

I hadn't explained to them that I was with Joe this afternoon because I did not need to tell them everything so they would then go to my aunt and plan something between them.

Tonight was me showing everybody and even myself that I could do this spend time with a stranger and maybe click with him or if not I would have to move onto the next person on my imaginary list instead.

Maybe then my friends and aunt would back down about the fact I was talking to Joe it was as if they had no faith in me I just needed to show them.  


“You better be trying on my silver shift dress you will look great in it!” Gina yells banging on my bedroom door making me jump as I had been deep in thought.

Eyeing the small dress on the fabric hanging I glare at it because it did look really pretty but I was sure it would not fit me properly as Gina was slimmer and at least a foot taller than me.

The silver sequins on the dress cause a disco ball effect on the wall as the sun is beginning to fade and the last shards of light are bouncing around in my room.

Tonight I wanted to make the effort it was only natural that I would wear an awesome dress to my date so with a sigh I decide to try it on.

This was my very first Cinderella moment as if Gina was my fairy godmother who had granted me the wish that I would go to the ball and look totally hot doing it.

Adding my emerald green cropped blazer I rolled the arm sleeves up and trying on my light peach coloured heels I was all set. 

Minimal make up was the key as I did not want to scare the guy by turning up looking like a reject clown because I was never fond of them myself.

Opening my bedroom door I am finally ready to go feeling myself inflate with happiness I walked down the hallway to the living room where Casey cheers when she sees me.

“Oh my!” Casey smiles at me.

“See I never looked that hot in that dress.” Gina tells me as she runs into the room aiming her phone at me as I try to bat her away.

“I think I look ok.” I assure my friends because this was me really leaning out of my comfort zone right now so tonight better be worth it.

“Pose I want to take a picture!” Gina shouts at me as I poke my tongue out at her in form of a reply.

“So are you all set?” Casey grins at me “Remember all the advice we have given you and Justin assures me Lance is a cool guy.”

“Do you have any condoms?” Gina questions as I stop posing for pictures to give her a look which she reads completely wrong.  


“I don’t need-“

“Hello!” Casey cuts in with a grin “One night stand alert.”

“Not tonight.” I tell my friends firmly I needed to learn how to act during a blind date before I even thought about sex despite the fact that it had been a while.

“There is no rush.” Gina smiles at me “Just go with the flow.”

“Ok so Lance has made reservations for eight and you can look for him at the bar.” Casey tells me then she adds that I look so grown up wiping an imaginary tear from under her left eye.

“Stop that.” I joke nervously rewarding my friend with a small smile.

“Go get him tiger.” Gina nods at me noticing my face “But first just pose one more time I want to pictures of you looking happy!”

Standing my full height and trying not to pull one of those idiotic duck faces I attempt to look normal yet sexy as Gina tells me I look amazing and clicks her phone in front of me.

“I am going or I will be late.” I tell my friends with a wave as they both continue to shout compliments at me which made me smile.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

The bistro was not far so I decided to walk seeing I needed to get used to wearing heels again because I used to enjoy the idea of dressing up until Will had changed my mind.

Nope I was not going to think of him he was the last person I wanted stuck in my head tonight instead I fantasied about what Lance looked like from the description Casey had given me.

Supposedly he was tall which was something I liked in a guy with short blonde hair thin framed glasses and sexy green eyes apparently. 

Hopefully if things went well this evening I would be able to exchange numbers with him instead of having to speak to the guy via either Justin or Casey which was as awkward as it sounded.

Walking past the busy park and through the farmers market which was all closed now the stalls covered in striped or plain tarpaulin tucked away ready for tomorrow I felt happy I was paying attention to the little things in life all over again.

Hearing my phone beep in the depths of my black leather clutch bag I unzip it I check the screen to see that it is Joe who has sent me a message.

_“Saw the picture your friend Gina had put up on Facebook. Looking really hot I am jealous for your blind date!”_

Firstly I was going to kill Gina for posting that picture on-line because I bet I looked terrible and secondly I hated the fact Joe had plastered a huge smile on my face from just that text.

Shoving my phone back into my bag I try to remain calm as I continue ahead because I can see the bistro nearby so I needed to get my game face on.  
I was thankful for the smile Joe had made me express but unsure why I had reacted that way I tell myself he is becoming a good friend and that was all.

With my shoulders back and my head held high I pull open the restaurant doors ready to meet my fate then I begin to panic as I reach the “wait to be seated” sign at the small desk.

I did not have a clue what Lance’s last name was unless it was Lance but that sounded ridiculous so scanning the bar for inspiration I do not see a tall blonde guy as I feel my stomach twist making me feel sick.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

“Hello welcome to “The Lemon Tree” do you have a reservation with us?” A smart dressed woman asked me wearing the signature lemon coloured apron over her uniform watching me as I must have looked lost.

“I am meeting a guy named Lance.” I tell the pixie haired woman whose big brown eyes widen after she asks me for a surname and I shrug at her.

“You never asked?” The woman asks sounding a little bit shocked.

“It’s a blind date.” I explain hoping the guy in question will magically appear and I can head straight to the bar for a drink.

“I understand.” The woman nods as she pats my hand in understanding which makes me feel like an idiot.

Without saying a word the curvy brunette smiles at me then heads over to the bar which was my sanctuary then shouts out “Is anybody called Lance here?” 

Turning round ready to run away I see I have a small queue behind me so I look back in shame as the woman shakes her head at me and shouts again causing a real scene.

“Surname or first name Lance anybody?” The woman holds her hands up in the air with a what-can-you-do attitude as I feel my face breaking out into a blush.

Heading back to the small desk the woman checks the folder in front of her then looks up with a smile as she must see the name in there.

“I should have checked this folder first.” The woman grins at me and I manage a small smile back.

“So can I go to the bar and wait?” I question as I swear I just heard tutting behind me and I did not wish to cause any more trouble.

“Hey what is the problem here?” A male voice asks as he double looks at me then a smug grin appears on his face.

“This woman is waiting for her date.” The woman behind the desk tells everyone in her loud voice as I close my eyes and count to ten in my head.

“Courtney what is the matter?” A middle aged gentleman appears behind the curvy brunette who was making my night already a living hell.

I notice the blonde guy next to me smile at the older gentleman who I assumed was some kinds of management as he sure looked the part in his black striped suit.

“Mr Miller it is always a pleasure!” The gentleman nods at the blonde guy who stands closer to me as they shake hands and I roll my eyes this was getting ridiculous.

“I have a reservation for two at eight.” The blonde guy tells the gentleman who pushes the brunette away from the desk as she mutters something under her breath then walks away.

“Hey I was here first.” I tell the guy and the gentleman who was treating him like he was royalty which was pissing me off.

“Who is the person you are after?” The gentleman asks me in a bored tone which makes me want to rip his head off because I sure as hell really needed a drink now to calm my nerves.

“It’s Lance-“

“My name’s Lance!” The blonde smiles at me then laughs he asks me “Are you Riley?” 

“Yes. “ I begin wearily until I see his green eyes sparkle mischievously and I put two and two together. 

“This is so funny.” The guy continues laughing as this mix up has come to a conclusion but we were no nearer to getting our table.

“Sorry everyone!” Lance turns round to inform the queue which was now almost out the door that he has located his blind date and he hoped he hadn't caused anyone any trouble.

“Have fun tonight!” A guy winks at Lance as the girl standing next to him jabs him hard in the ribs with her elbow because her boyfriend was blatantly checking me out.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

“Follow me to the bar and I will seat you both at our best table as soon as possible.” The gentleman smiles as Lance places an arm around my shoulder as he guides me forward into the bistro.

“You look stunning this evening.” Lance tells me as with a nod from the suited gentleman who I am still assuming is management we sit at the bar and at last I can finally exhale my breath.

“Thank you.” I smile at Lance trying to listen to my friends advice because I still sucked at taking compliments they made me break out in hives which isn’t a true story.

“You look nervous is it your first time?” Lance questions smiling at me as it looks like that is his permanent face filled with a wide grin.

“Here or dating?” I reply because I had no real idea what he was hinting at seeing that I was staring at the wine list to ignore that bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

“Well I am always here I know a lot of staff.” Lance tells me then adds “Plus I have dated a ton!”

I must pull a funny face as Lance begins to laugh at me as he places a cool hand on my bare knee which makes my skin burn.

“I'm just being honest.” Lance smiles as he pushes up his glasses on the bridge of his nose “I like to date.”

Nodding because I don’t know what to say back I watch as Lance orders us a bottle of red wine which I hate as it usually gives me a really bad headache.

“Before we go sit at the table I want to say something.” Lance turns round on his metal stool to face me as I stop looking around the bistro at everybody else.

“Shoot.” I smile as I watch Lance pour two large glasses as he pushes one in front of me as I grab for it greedily just for the want of something in my hand.

“I don’t usually go for brunettes and when Justin told me about you I said exactly the same thing to him.” Lance explains as I try to process what he had just said to me.

“Ok.” I nod back thinking to myself that he is a little outspoken but that could be a good thing.

“But now that you are here in the flesh I am so glad I said yes to tonight as I said earlier I never say no to a blind date.” Lance places his hand back onto my knee and I almost want to push him away but the human contact does feel good.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

We continue to drink wine as Lance tells me more about himself which I have learned pretty early on in the evening is his favourite topic of discussion.

Lance looks sharp in a striped blue and white blazer with a grey tight fitting tee shirt and dark blue jeans talking easily even though I am half listening to him.

“Your table is ready.” The gentleman from earlier re appears as promised and we are guided to a table for two by a large bay window facing the busy street.

“Thanks Alfred.” Lance states as he sits down opposite me at the table telling the gentleman that we will have another bottle of red seeing that the first one disappeared so quickly.

“This is my favourite table here.” Lance tells me as he grabs at a menu asking me if I have any allergies or preference to food.

“So you come here often then?” I joke ignoring his food comment as I could not help myself I needed to make Jokes to relax a little as the wine had made me feel jittery.

Lance gives me a pained look in form of a response as I let it slide it is still early in the evening and it was my turn to talk a little about myself.

“So I have known Casey for-“

“Is Bill working?” Cuts in Lance speaking to Alfred completely ignoring the fact I was talking which is a huge thing for me as I hated being cut off mid conversation.

“I will go see. “Alfred tells Lance who nods at him and I watch as he pours me another glass of drink and instinctively I grab at the glass.

“Somebody likes their drink.” Lance jokes as I pull a face similar to when I had teased him and he had failed to appreciate it.

“I'm a little nervous.” I tell Lance honestly as he had said earlier he was like an open book or something.

“Once we have had something to eat maybe you could come back to mine for a drink I have a great bar in my kitchen.” Lance winks at me as he must think I am some kind of drunk and obviously easy as there was no way I was going back to his.

“Lance!” Shouts a male voice thankfully stopping me from giving him an answer to his loaded invite which I knew full well what his intentions were about.

The guy Bill is high fiving Lance who nods back at him then the pair forget I am even there as they discuss tonight’s menu and my date explains about all his allergies.

“I know you are a tough guy to please.” Bill grins as he glances over at me then adds “I see you in here often enough!”

This comment makes my stomach turn as I imagine Lance sitting at this table whilst there is a long line of woman waiting to be seated next to him as he lists his allergies and special products he has to use for his hair. 

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

“I like it here.” Lance winks at me as he says this and I smile weakly because I feel like a spare part here and like I am wasting my time.

Finally we order as Lance continues to speak to me as he tells me I could have ordered something more than a tuna salad but I honestly wasn’t feeling that hungry any more.

Fighting off the urge to pull my phone out from my clutch bag I decide to try and get Lance’s attention as I sit forward in my seat placing my elbows onto the table.

I knew at this angle I looked good as I see Lance look up from the menu because he had been arguing with his friend Bill over how to make the perfect lasagna.

“Did I mention that you look pretty hot in that dress?” Lance tells me finally paying me some attention which makes me smile.

“I am more than just a hottie.” I state to my date “This is the beginning of my new life I want to try and work on my portfolio to become a photographer.” 

“Well I cannot help you with any work.” Lance tells me which angers me like he thought I was using this date to get him to help me.

“I won’t.” I explain trying to control my voice “Sure you work at the same magazine with Justin but this isn’t why I am here.”

“Anybody can be a photographer.” Lance smiles at me as Bill reappears with our food and I almost throw my salad over my date.

“As I said I am in between jobs and new to the dating scene-“

“You’re not a virgin are you?” Cuts in Lance look horrified as I glare at him.

“Can you please stop cutting me off?” I snap at him then add “Of course I am not a virgin!”

Silence fills our table as I angrily chew my food probably looking far from hot as this guy was an idiot he only ever spoke of himself and he knew like everybody who worked here.

“How many times do you come here?” I ask Lance wondering if he did actually bring all of his dates here every time he managed to score one.

“Whenever I have coupons.” Lance grins at me and I realize he is such an asshole the opposite of what I need right now.

Ignoring his comment I pour myself the last of the red wine feeling a buzz as I listen to Lance raving about the bistro we were in and how he spent a lot of time here.

“So do you have another table booked for tomorrow then?” I dead pan taking a drink from my wine glass I see him give me an awkward look.

“On Sunday actually I-“

“So let me get this straight.” I cut him off for once “You bring all your dates here when you have coupons and I am just a number?”

“You are more than that.” Lance winks at me “Come back to mine-“

“Answer me.” I snap at him and watch as he replaces his fork onto the table.

“I am sorry that you are using me for your first rebound date but honey this is what happens.” Snorts Lance as he must see the hurt look on my face.

“What you act like an asshole?” I tell him then state “I think you need a wake up call so this me telling you I am leaving.” 

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Standing up Lance’s smile finally disappears from his face as he glares at me and I grab my clutch bag to signal that I was really leaving and this wasn’t me just being over dramatic.

“Fine leave.” Lance shouts at me then mutters “You look frigid and as I said before brunettes really are not my thing and now you have reminded me why.”

“How dare you.” I snap as I grab my glass of wine chucking it at his face as I watch his grey t shirt stain burgundy red and feel great satisfaction in knowing I just did that.

“You bitch!” Lance stands up as I walked off ignoring all the insults he threw at me because I was better than that he was just a terrible excuse of a guy.

Feeling like a loser walking home this early after a date as it was only after ten I hadn't even been in Lance’s company for two hours when I needed to get away from him.

Deciding on heading through the park I would try to forget tonight by people watching as that usually helped to calm me down as I felt really buzzed right now from the red wine.

So that was a terrible start to me dipping my toe into the dating pool I had gotten pushed in by a jerk and I was shocked at how he had acted what a real idiot.

How could he think that acting like that would get him laid how did the guy get dates I think that was the first and last time I ever dated blindly.

The guy had blatantly told me he bought all his dates here as I recall my daydream of him sitting at the table with a queue of girls standing in front of him all waiting their turn.

Well I had my chance and I blew it thankfully because I could not see that working out however you looked at it.

Lance spoke only of himself and I had listened trying to pay attention as he patted himself on the back all the while.

I did not want to tell my friends it had been a disaster because they had wanted this to work for me so I guess it was now up to me to see where I would head next.

Sure I didn't want to instantly fall back into a relationship I wanted to have fun but I think I needed to meet the guy on my own terms.

Hearing my phone ringing in my bag I stop at a bench as the night sky is turning a dark purple whilst street lights illuminated the paths for people to walk along enjoying the cool air.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Checking my screen I am surprised to see it is actually Joe calling me and before I can think against it I press the green phone icon to answer the call.

“Don’t you know it is rude to answer your phone when you're on a date?” Questions Joe with a chuckle.

“Lucky for me the date is over.” I state sarcastically wanting to shake my head at what was my worst first blind date it was pretty embarrassing.

“That bad eh!” Joe laughs at me whilst I tut back at him.

“Let’s just say I never want to go on a blind date ever again.” I tell Joe fully believing that statement because tonight had truly been a turn off for me.

“Beginners bad luck is all.” Jokes Joe as I hear him laughing at me.

“Well I better call it quits now then and adopt ten cats” I groan at Joe then begin to explain how tonight had panned out including all the awkward parts and when I had chucked my drink at him.

“He sounds like a complete jackass.” Joe tells me and I agree with him.

“Yes I have no idea what Justin or Casey for that matter was thinking.” I think I needed to have a word with the pair of them pretty soon.

“I would not have treated you like that.” Joe tells me breaking into my thoughts then explains “If I took you out on a fake date it would be a whole lot better.”

“Fake date?” I question with a smile on my lips.

“Sure. “Joe tells me easily without a hint of sarcasm or awkwardness in his voice.

“It would sure get everybody off my back if I told them I was out with you so maybe you could become my fake boyfriend?” I question with a smile on lips at the absurdity of the idea.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Silence echoes around in my head as I count the seconds that pass because Joe has not said anything to me and I briefly panic that I have gone too far.

“That would be really strange.” Joe laughs awkwardly at me then tells me he has to go as he quickly says bye then he is gone.  


Well that was weird I had only been joking was it true that guys didn't like woman who were sarcastic because if that was the case then I am totally screwed.

For three days I refuse to talk to Casey who blames Justin even though he is having some kind of crisis because he’d always thought that he had a good read on everybody that he knew.

Gina tried to help me see the funny side to my first date but then warned me that this could become a regular occurrence because you had to make it with a lot of frogs before you found your prince.

“I thought it was kiss a lot of frogs?” I ask Gina who I was sitting with outside Delaney’s coffee shop opposite the farmer’s market checking out guys who passed by us.

“How old are you five.” Gina laughs at my face then adds “You need to just meet the right frog who will treat you right and give you all the presents you ever want.”

“I hate frogs.” I state not enjoying this analogy one bit “Can you refer to guys like a buffet table again that made more sense.”

“That just makes me hungry.” Laughs Gina “In more ways than one dammit it has been a while.”

“Since you've eaten-“

“Since I have had sex.” Gina cuts me off with a grin “You know that thing two people do when they are not sleeping in bed.”

“I am aware of what you mean.” I snort at Gina feeling her pain because like her it had been a while for me since I had got any action in between the sheets.

“I don’t know what you are snorting about.” Gina giggles at me “You have a guy just hungry for your attention if you catch my meaning.”

“If you mean Joe then you are sorely mistaken.” I snap because I had not spoken to Joe since he had hurriedly said goodbye to me the other night after our stupid conversation.

“You are so easy to wind up.” Gina nudges my arm off the table “Let me help you find someone myself.”

“I’ll get back to you on that one.” I mumbled into my coffee because I had gone five steps back rather than forward I had no idea how to speak to guys let alone act during a date.

“I am afraid it is non- negotiable.” Gina shrugs her shoulders at me “We need to both stop moaning and find ourselves nice guys.”

“It’s easier for you.” I smile because things usually appeared a lot easier for my friend who always remained positive whilst I usually gave up at the first mistake.

“Like hell is it.” Gina rolls her eyes at me “I just have more confidence and experience than you right now.”

“Is it scary being single?” I question then regret it because I notice the look that passes across Gina’s face.

“I mean sure.” Gina tells me as I clutch onto my large coffee mug for comfort.

“That’s what I am afraid of.” I sigh at Gina because all that I could see in my future right now was lots of cats and a penchant for the Lifetime channel.

“But that's life.” Gina explains “It is filled with ups and downs because this is it you need to just stop worrying and realize your potential.”

“That sounds like hard work.” I smile at my friend who I knew was only trying to help me move on just like Casey who had good intentions we were all on the same page.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

I turn running into a regular routine because I needed to focus on something instead of the fact that I could not sleep properly seeing that I was having trouble switching my thoughts off.

Every morning I woke up enjoying the fact I saw the sun rise because it was easy to get out of bed when you hardly ever stayed in it trading sleep for wasted hours on the internet.

I had even joined a couple of dating sites only getting as far as signing up not even thinking about what I would put on my profile.

Because I still wasn’t liking the idea of going on a date again I did not have a clue how Gina did it all the time because I felt rather sore still from meeting the idiot that was Lance.

That was another reason why I ran because it gave me inspiration to pick up a camera again which was another secret I kept from my friends.

It was almost as if I had forgotten how beautiful early in the morning when the sun was just warming up was and there wasn’t a lot of people around.

Positive that I looked a mess whilst I ran I tried not to get paranoid crossing through the park then heading right on a well-worn path through quiet neighbourhoods with large gates.

Sure I still didn't have a job and neither did I have a grip on my life right now but running was the only thing that made sense and it even helped me organize my thoughts too.

Hiding the negative connotations from my mind by burying them deep I try my hardest to remain positive which was something that never came easy to me but as I said I was trying.

Clicking through the channels on the TV I try not to think about how since my nap earlier which lasted all of half an hour I had been sat here slumped into our couch.

I could not even remember what I had spent all afternoon watching as it had all blurred into one and I had just stared at the screen thinking it had all of my answers.

Hearing the front door slam shut doesn't even faze me when Gina walks into the living room dropping down onto the couch next to me.

“Today has been terrible.” Gina sighs then adds “I was showing this girl how to apply eye-liner to her eyelids correctly and her boyfriend groped my ass supposedly by accident.”

“What a jerk.” I shake my head at my friend who nods in agreement.

“I turned round to look at the guy and he winked at me whilst his girlfriend was right there in front of him and all I could do was glare back.” Gina shouts still clearly angry which I did not blame her.

“How do you know that they were together?” I question because maybe it was innocent he had grabbed the wrong ass or the pair could have just been friends even.

“They are going on holiday to Greece in two days for their five year anniversary.” Gina tells me making my eyes widen.

“Well that won’t last long.” I dead pan because if I ever found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me I would never let him live it down.

“It’s nice to see you are actually trying to be positive still.” Grins Gina whilst I roll my eyes back at her.

“Work in progress.” I smirk then add “A lot of work.”

“Well enough about me.” Gina holds up an envelope to signal she had collected the mail because we both forgot to take the key outside with us on a regular basis so we could open up our apartments mail box.

“Is that good news?” I motion to the envelope Gina is waving around in front of me and when I try to grab it she snatches it away from my reach.

“Maybe.” Gina sing-songs at me whilst shaking the white envelope to her ear.

“For whom?” I question because I was beginning to get a little nervous.

“The both of us.” Gina laughs as she finally opens the envelope then quickly stands so I cannot see its contents.

“So.” I ask wanting to know what Gina was hiding from me.

“In my hand I have two tickets.” Gina declares loudly.

“Are we going to a gig?” I question because I hadn't been to a gig in ages.

“Sort of.” Gina tells me mysteriously then adds “Keep tomorrow night free and all will be revealed.”

“What if I have a date?” I retort sulkily because I hated it when people just assumed I was free even though now I was all the time.

“Good joke.” Gina laughs at me “Tomorrow after work we will both head into town then you will find out what those tickets are for.”

“That is hours away.” I wail because I also hated people keeping secrets and surprises from me I was an all-round party pooper.

..............................................................................................................................................................................................................

Spying on Gina and even resorting to casing her bedroom whilst she was in the shower delivered unsuccessful results even though I really wanted to know what those tickets were for.

I even messaged Casey who had no idea what I was going on about whilst she proceeded to send me four more texts outlining yet again how sorry she was about my date with Lance.

Seriously I had forgiven her because I did not want to think of that slime ball ever again I had bigger problems seeing that Gina was hiding something from me which usually spelled trouble.

Thanks to worrying I spend yet another night staying up trying to create a profile for the several dating sites I had joined just because I was bored and incredibly on edge.

Have you ever felt so tired that you cannot sleep like you know you need to close your eyes and rest but instead you feel like you are trapped and cannot perform such a simple function because it sucked.

That was why after my morning run I had decided to stop in at Michael’s mall in the centre of town to look for something to wear for tonight.

Awaiting a message back from Gina because I had asked her for help seeing that I had no idea how to dress I did not want to go to a gig in heels.

Despite feeling sweaty from my run I felt energized and secretly excited for whatever it was that my room mate had planned for us tonight because I really needed something to get excited about.

Drinking an iced coffee I search the rails in a clothes store trying to find something I liked which would jump out at me and give me inspiration because I was seriously lacking any.

Catching me off guard my phone begins to ring which makes me almost drop my drink and I see a sales assistant sigh thankfully as I manage to catch it.

“Bad timing.” I state answering the telephone placing it up against my ear balancing it with my shoulder.

“Are you with a guy?” I hear Joe question failing not to hear the smile that was obviously playing on his lips or so I imagined.

“No I am busy.” I tell him uneasily because I had assumed the call would have been Gina offering me some words of wisdom.

“Washing your hair?” Teases Joe which makes me roll my eyes to the store ceiling.

“Why would I be in the shower answering this call.” I dead pan reminding myself that I totally needed to wash my hair before tonight.

“Now that would be interesting.” Joe laughs down the phone as I swear I blush all the way down to my toes.

“Anyway as I said I am busy.” I tell Joe hoping he would hang up because the last time we spoke he had done just that to me after our awkward conversation.

“I take the hint.” Joe makes fake sobbing noises down the phone which makes me feel bad for all of five seconds.

“I am going out with Gina tonight somewhere and I need a new top for the occasion.” I explain hopefully boring Joe enough so I could carry on shopping.

“Where are you going?” Joe questions.

“No idea but I am waiting for Gina to message me what the dress code is anyway.” I sigh because she has still yet to reply and I really wanted to know where I was going.

“Trying to meet someone are we?” Joe asks.

“Kind of.” I tell Joe “Hence why I need a new top.”

“Need any help getting dressed?” Joe asks me playfully then adds “I am good at opening zips and clasps.”

Did it just get super-hot in here?

Looking around the store I silently take a drink of my iced coffee whilst moving my phone so I am holding it again.

“I will keep that in mind.” I tell Joe because I cannot ignore the images of him slowly undressing me but I bat those thoughts away when I hear him talking to me again.

“I am here to help.” Joe states which makes me laugh because he is trying to sound so sincere but all I can see is that wide grin which is usually plastered across his face.

Saying goodbye I finish the call which confuses me because I had no idea why Joe had call me unless if it was to flirt with me which he did a very good job at that.

Thankfully a message appears on my screen and I notice it is from Gina its contents reveal just one word which reads “sexy” something that I rarely ever felt.

This still did not answer my question where the hell was Gina taking me?


	7. Speed Flirting

..............................................................................................................................................................................................................

Standing outside SOS I wait for Gina because she was running late from work and I still had no idea what was the plan for tonight.

My outfit came together pretty easy once I had found this simple olive green silk camisole vest with a plunge neckline adding dark blue skinny jeans and black high heels which made me feel tall.

I actually felt confident in this outfit unsure if it was just the fact that I was on a high from all the energy drink I had been consuming earlier because I had been filled with nerves.

Opening my black leather handbag I pull out my phone to check in on my on-line presence because I was one of those people who lived in the World Wide Web and not in real life.

“Look at you!” I hear Gina scream waking out from the make-up store turning round to wave at Leo the security guard who had a pretty huge crush on her it was quite cute.

“Look at me.” I smile because I hated compliments and I just nod my head awkwardly as Gina tells me that I look really good.

“You look great as always.” I tell Gina with a grin then finally ask “So where are we going?”

“Weston’s Bar.” Gina states linking her arm with mine we head left towards the bar which is only a street away from where we were.

“And what is happening there?” I probe further because it was about time I knew what the hell was going on.

“Wait and see.” Gina winks at me in reply which makes me un-link my arm from hers.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

In silence we continue to walk whilst I wonder what the hell was going on at Weston’s that was a modern bar that we usually avoided because it was pretentious and made me feel lousy like I was never good enough to be there.

All the spirits were served in a mason jar with one of those small striped straws sticking out and I always tried to count all the guys with beards but usually gave up because it was always a lot.

“Fuck me.” I state as we finally stood outside the bar and I take in the long queue and then the makeshift sign which informed me that a speed dating event was taking place tonight.

“Surprise!” Gina grins at me as I glare back at her because this was the worst idea in the world.

“Please tell me that speed dating is the name of a really obscure band we are going to see.” I ask Gina with a small glimmer of hope that this was all a poorly executed prank.

“Afraid not.” Gina laughs at the face I pull “Believe me this will be so much fun!” 

“Highly doubtful.” I retort then see a familiar face in the form of Jessica one of Gina’s co-workers who looks like she is wearing exactly the same outfit Olivia Newton-John did at the end of Grease.

Wet-look leggings that looked like they had been painting on and the black Bardot top with bright red lipstick and her trademark confident smile.

“Hi bitches.” Jessica yells grabbing both me and Gina into an embrace just as I give Gina a look of despair.

“This was all Jessica’s idea.” Gina points at the tall blonde who had already garnered a few admirers from the looks of some guys who were openly drooling at her in the queue.

“My friend at my dance class suggested this night out because I have run out of guys recently I did think about having sex with Leo but that would be tacky.” Jessica tells us with a shudder and I see the look that crosses over Gina's face.

“Ok well three is a crowd.” I begin stepping out from the queue but Gina is too quick pulling me back in line just as I was trying to make an exit.

“Oh no you don’t”. Gina states then adds “This will be fun think of meeting someone new how exciting would that be?”  


Assuming that I would hopefully never meet another guy like Lance I nod because sure it would be fun seeing that I needed some kind of attention from the opposite sex.

“Think of all the guy’s numbers you could get.” Jessica grins at me “All the sex you could be having!” 

“That would help you with your sex list.” Gina winks at me.

“You’re what?” Questions Jessica with a smile.

“Just a list of things I would like to do in the bedroom seeing that I am single now and according to Gina I have missed out on so much!” I tell them both and they nod back at me which means I looked as clueless as I felt.

“You have got to try the waterfall that is a great sex position.” Jessica tells me with a nod “Or the pretzel is a nice for a real sweet orgasm.”

“Oh I love the pretzel especially when I want the guy to be in control for once.” Gina tells Jessica as they both nod their heads and I begin to panic.

“So I just go in there and ask a guy if he wants to pretzel me?” I question snorting at them both.

“I could do that to you all night baby.” A guy beside me states nudging my arm whilst I silently shake my head offering him one of my best death glares.

“Anyway.” Smiles Jessica “These nights are fun me and Gina went to one last month and that same night I hooked up.”

“Riley has never had a one night stand.” Gina nods at me leaning her head to one side pulling a cute face.

“I could be that guy-“

“Will you shut up?” I snap at the guy next to me who backs away slowly which was a good idea as he was a really annoying me.

“Never?!” Jessica looks at me shocked like I am some kind of rare flower that is soon due to bloom.

“Not yet anyway.” I dead pan trying to smile because I felt like I was about to combust from embarrassment seeing that I saw our conversation had eavesdroppers.

“Oh baby!” Jessica embraces me in a hug clutching me close to her even though I try to wiggle away from her.

“Riley has much to learn.” Gina nods sagely at me.

“If you luck out this evening you could always come home with me?” Winks Jessica arms still wrapped around me.

Ever since I had met Jessica at every opportunity she has tried to cajole me back to her apartment so we could have a little fun together.

“Could you help me out with my list?” I question batting my eye lashes because I had to test my flirt out on someone before the big event inside the bar even though I was totally being sarcastic.

“Any time.” Jessica squeezes me once more then finally lets me go.

“I don’t know what you see in Riley?” Teases Gina smiling at me whilst I poke my tongue out at her.

“I like brunettes.” Shrugs Jessica who adds “Male or female I am there ready to pounce.”

“Look you are scaring Riley.” Gina points at me as I pretend to laugh because this was all getting so old.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Finally the side doors to Weston’s is opened and the queue moves in quick succession inside as we pass someone who checks the tickets and then we are in.

Walking down a corridor with thick deep purple carpets and the walls covered in black and white flocked wallpaper the place still looked fancy and like it was trying too hard. 

Going through a set of black doors we enter a large room which is all dark wooden tables and bar matched with red walls and white flooring. 

The place fills up pretty quickly as I dip in and out of ear shot half only half listening to the plan Gina and Jessica are setting into motion.

“Hello everybody.” Calls the woman at the bar wearing a steel grey wrap around dress that clinged to all the right places “My name is Tori and I will guide you all on a fun journey tonight hopefully straight into the throes of meeting the one.”

No pressure then I think scanning the room noticing people talking to each other right away some clicking whilst some back away slowly like I wished I had done properly and ran away earlier.

“Ignore her.” Gina tells me as we locate our name tags from a small table conveniently next to the bar which was somewhere I hoped that I could spend the evening.

I look back to Tori who was outlining how her company “Heaven Sent” got started from supposedly humble beginnings until she mentions her divorce which probably had a large settlement.

Finding my name badge I clip it to my cropped denim jacket but Jessica removes it then orders me to take off said jacket which I do as you never want to mess with this girl.

“Clip it onto your top,” Jessica orders me whilst I notice Gina talking to a guy dressed all in black leather and a crisp white tee he was totally working it.

Doing as I am told I clip it awkwardly to my vest strap making Jessica smirk at me then hearing a bell chime people eventually stop talking as Tori tells everybody to sit at a table. 

Trying to grab Gina to follow me she runs off and I look to see others following suit like we were playing a game of musical chairs just without the music.

Sitting down at the table in front of me I place my demin jacket on my lap then notice the guy who I am sharing the table with and cringe internally.

It is the same guy who had been stood next to me in the queue outside a slim guy wearing a loose fitting blue checked shirt and I swear he visibly shrinks back when he recognizes me.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

“So the person facing you will be your first date of the evening and the pair of you get five whole minutes to talk to one another and maybe some magic may take place.” Tori laughs at her own statement which makes me feel a little sick maybe I should just take Jessica up on her offer finally.

Hearing that idiotic bell ring signalled the start to this nightmare as we were told that when our time was up we would all go round counter clockwise and mingle to our hearts content apparently.

“So is it true?” The guy asks me as I look back from Tori to the table watching the guy play with his phone in his hands it was very annoying. 

“What?” I question back instantly regretting that I spoke because now that meant that we would have to make small conversation.

There was hardly any magic taking place right now as sure the guy was cute looking but he had pissed me off outside and even he looked like he did not want to be here.

“That you are a virgin and you've never had a one night stand.” The guy who I see is called Grant asks me and I do not answer right away.

“Second part is true.” I tell him sincerely then ask “But enough about me what is your deal?”

So I half listen whilst Grant explains to me about his bitch ex-girlfriend Brandy and how his mum had told him all along that she was trouble.

“Close to your parents?” I ask half heartedly wishing that I had bought myself a drink before this mess had begun because I was in need of some liquid courage.

“I love my mum.” Grant tells me and I nod because I had guessed he was some closeted mommies’ boy all along.

“So what do are looking for?” I ask Grant trying to steer the conversation away from his amazing parent because he had never known who his dad was.

“No offence but I don’t like brunettes.” Grant smiles almost apologetically as a soft giggle in the distance makes him look away from the table and I see him watching Jessica.

“None taken but I would need to drink a lot more alcohol to talk any longer with you.” I snap because if this guy could talk candidly then so could I.

“Ouch.” Grant glares at me when thankfully the bell rings which signals that I needed to move quickly so without saying goodbye I dart left.

Back in another seat the first thing I notice is the pink wine bottle and a glass already filled which I pull towards me this was more like it.

“Alcoholic are we?” The guy who I see is called Finn asks me and I nod my head remaining silent as I drank quickly.

Before Tori rings the bell to begin she explains how we score every date that we have and muttering to myself how this was a huge waste of time I go back to my first table and snatch up my paper.

“I thought you was running away.” Jokes Finn.

“Keep the alcohol flowing and I will stay.” I retort noticing the look Finn gives me.

I mark Grant with a minus five because he was an idiot with mommy issues plus he thought I was a virgin how virginal do I actually look?

“So Riley what do you do?” Finn shoots me the first question without even looking at my face because he was talking with my breasts instead.

“I did work in an office.” I tell the guy in front of me yet again not feeling anything like what they describe in rom-com movies.

Then Finn goes on to tell me about a rather useless sounding app that he is working on and it will make him millions or so he says.

“So the app is like a rip off of Tinder?” I ask Finn who had just basically described to me the aforementioned app where you check out profile pics and slide your finger either left or right.

Sliding left means no thank you move along whereas moving right means yes I am interested and if you like me back then you have struck gold.

“Tinder is so last year.” Finn tells me then adds “Date swipe will open new doors and also get me laid like many others.”

So there it was all the guy was after was nameless hook ups and he had created yet another dating app that usually was proven sexist and it made me feel a bit icky.

“Only hot woman can swipe.” Finn winks at me which makes me cough into my second glass of wine because that was beyond cheesy.

Hearing the bell I tell Finn it has been great and I roll my eyes at him when he slides over a badge which has his apps name on it but I take it anyway.

“Don’t forget to swipe.” Finn tells me whilst I shudder quickly getting up moving to my next destination I was in hell.

Giving Finn a one for effort I decide to pin the badge onto my other vest strap taking yet another seat and this time the guy had a long beard which was partly plaited.

Two more guys later both of whom had beards and one was even a single father of five recently divorced then Tori tells us it is time for a break and a free glass of wine.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Music to my ears I head towards the bar spying Gina talking to the guy all in leather at the bar like she had totally avoided the system and gone straight to him instead.

Grabbing a glass of pink wine I wink at Gina who nods back then proceed to drink the whole glass as quickly as possible because I needed rosé tinted glasses to get through the rest of tonight.

Continuing on my journey I wind up several guys because I wasn’t taking any of this seriously and one even asks me why the hell I am here which was a very good question.

Hearing my bag vibrate I dig my phone out from it because the guy I was sitting with was talking with the two people to our right planning a three way if I had heard them correctly.

Unlocking my phone I see I have a message from Joe trying to guess where I am as I recall that he had very randomly called me earlier today.

“Very funny.” I tell my phone because Joe had wondered if I was at a secret fight club making me wish that Brad Pitt would make a guest appearance this evening,

Replying that I was organising a threesome what I wasn’t going to be involved in I send the message then instantly regret it.

“Men don’t like funny woman.” The next guy tells me without any hint of sarcasm whilst I nod trying to think of a witty come back but knowing it would go over this dudes head I just ignore him instead.

“Would you rather have me chained to a kitchen sink then?” I question smiling innocently at this guy in front of me whose thick framed glasses made him look an idiot and do not get me started on his moustache.

“So you’re a feminist then.” Noah defines me in one statement making me roll my eyes because it appeared to be a new word he had just learned.

“Don’t try and define me.” I tell him “I can be funny all I want and if you don’t like it well screw you.”

“Nice come back.” Noah tuts at me like I have ruined his whole evening.

“Well good luck hooking up tonight.” I mutter under my breath deciding that I needed to give up and just head to the bar maybe get talking to someone there instead of sitting here and being insulted.

Thankfully on cue I hear my ringtone through my bag so I excitedly grab at my phone then answer it in front of Noah who yet again tuts at me.

“Oh hello sexy.” I talk into my phone loudly praying that Joe would play along and not think I was either totally wasted or just completely mad.

“What the hell are you up to?” I hear Joe question with a smile in his voice.

“Sorry honey I will be right home to scrub your dishes and rub your back.” I state all the while Noah is giving me a weird look.

“It’s my husband.” I tell Noah whose eyes widen as I stand from my seat and add “He is wondering why I am not in the kitchen.”

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

With that I turn around and head back out into the corridor so I can stand outside and hear Joe properly because of all the background noises from both of the bars.

Weston’s was packed as I exit the door I came in with Gina and Jessica heading left a little away from the bar so I could finally regroup.

“So I have gone from being your fake boyfriend to your husband now?” I hear Joe question with a laugh which makes me chuckle.

“Sorry you had to find out this way.” I tell Joe then add “Actually you just saved my life how can I ever repay you?”

“Come hang out with me at the bar?” Joe asks and the offer is very tempting because this was a dead end here.

“I am out with Gina and her friend Jessica.” I tell Joe then explain “Gina got tickets for a speed dating night and it has been as horrible as the title suggests.” 

“Any takers?” Joe asks and I tell him about Grant and Finn just a small part of how terrible this evening has been.

“So come join me.” Joe orders and the way his voice has gone deeper makes my stomach turn in excitement as I consider doing a walk by to my aunt’s bar. 

“I cannot leave my friends.” I tell Joe firmly because Gina had gone out of her way to surprise me tonight it was my fault I wasn’t having any fun.

“Ok well I will catch you soon then.” Joe informs me “Also I am reminding you that you are awesome so ignore any bullshit from those jackasses.” 

This has the desired effect of cheering me up because a huge grin appears on my face as I call off promising Joe that I will see him soon.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Heading back inside I avoid Noah and everybody else I have met noticing that a lot of people look like they are having fun or was it just that they were so desperate to meet someone.

Sure I was enjoying the attention Joe was giving me but he was just a friend kind of at least I was getting to know him more now than when I had during college.

Finding an empty seat at the bar I order a drink then watch as Jessica has abandoned her seat and is sitting on some guys lap.

Gina meanwhile is still with the modern day James Dean look a-like which should be some kind of record because the guy looks super smitten already and my room mate even looks excited to be talking to him.

On my third double vodka I see Gina appear next to me because the night was beginning to wind down and my friend explains that she is heading off to a bar with Dillon.

“Go you.” I wink at her or at least I think I do because I can see double of my friend right now.

“Will you be ok because Jessica says she is heading off as well?” Gina questions giving me a look like she is trying to figure out my response.

“I suck at this.” I motion to the room waving my right hand in front of me “But good news Joe called me earlier.”

“Oh did he now?” Gina grins at me “You two are getting quite friendly.”

“He is hardly a friend-“

“Are we going?” I see Dillon the leather guy appear next to Gina nodding at me briefly before he whispers something into my friends ear then with a final goodbye they are gone.

I could easily look after myself because that was what I did best in between relationships I just needed to learn how to do it full time and not turn into something I wasn’t for a guy.

Waving goodbye to Jessica who had her tongue down some guy’s throat I head back outside and decide to get a taxi home then maybe look on line for some ideas about a new job.

It hurt me a little when a few guys from earlier had dismissed me because I was currently jobless which wasn’t fair and they were jerks anyway.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Flagging down a passing taxi I welcome the air con as I sit inside the cool car then give directions to my apartment.

Stripping my clothes off I decide to leave my bedroom window open as I lay on top of my duvet feeling both frustrated from this evening and the amount of alcohol I had drank.

Dammit I felt so horny right now trying to will sleep but instead I sit up in bed and send a message to Joe telling him how I should have come and seen him because there was an empty space for him in my bed.

See I could totally flirt and be friends with Joe it was all part of the fun and anyway he was the only guy who was giving me any attention right now.

Laying back down I download that dating app by that idiot Finn laughing at how stupid it was because a lot of the profiles appeared to look totally fake.

Dropping my phone beside me I then chuck it across my bedroom proceeding to lay face down on my pillow ordering myself to finally fall asleep.

“I cannot find my phone.” I call out the next morning stumbling from my bedroom still in my underwear guessing that the silence meant Gina had not come home at all yet.

Checking the clock in the kitchen signals that it is after eleven in the morning and I am dying of thirst so I grab myself a clean glass from the side and pour some water from the jug.

It has been a good few days since I have managed to sleep let alone lay in so I decide to continue with the theme of relaxing and opt against running because my head felt like my brain was trying to escape through my skull.

First of all I needed to locate my phone and then spend some time looking at emails and applying for jobs maybe I needed to join a few temping agencies.

In the past I have worked in various temporary positions ranging from a coffee house to printing store so I would go where the money was and maybe even think more about using my camera.

That was my problem I was a huge procrastinator even thinking about how much of one I was is me wasting my time but it was a habit I had never quite kicked.

Heading back into my bedroom I chuck on a white vest and grey cotton shorts tying my hair up into a bun on top of my head taking off my making up from last night because I had just gotten a fright when I looked in my mirror.

Grabbing my laptop off my desk I scan my room for my lost phone but give up because bending down was making my headache throb even more so I decide to head to our couch.

Logging in I check my emails to be greeted by junk mail and two rejections from jobs which I tried not to dwell on instead I switched on the TV for a little background noise turning the volume down low.

Researching a few local agencies I spend a good few hours filling out on line forms and sending my resume over in the hopes that I will get contacted so I could begin some kind of work.

I would take dogs for a walk, clean someone’s garage or even work in a call centre only if it meant I had some kind of purpose which was a start.

Giving myself a break I decide to check out Facebook to see what was happening in the outside world even though I could see out from the kitchen window.

Looking on my feed I notice that Joe put up a status last night which reads _“Late night messages make me horny”_ it makes me scrunch my nose up and wonder exactly what is was that he was on about.

Sure it could just be Joe quoting the lyrics to a well-known song from the late nineties or he may have met someone and spent all night talking to them.

“Somebody sounds like they are getting some.” I quote out loud reading the comments on Joe’s late night status even noticing it had over thirty likes.

Well I had my chance to go see him last night but I could not understand why it had annoyed me so much it was only a stupid status it could have any meaning?

“Who was the unlucky girl?” I read another comment out loud which had a little more meaning and it was one that I wasn’t fond of.

Dropping my laptop next to me I stand from my couch deciding that I needed to find my phone in the mess that was my bedroom because I was getting withdrawals and I did actually need to clean my room.

I had order in there but usually it looked like chaos because my make-up was all over the place and my clothes usually stayed on the floor for days it was pretty un-lady like.

Locating that darn piece of paper with the sex to do list on it I find a black eye pencil on the floor and decide to add the position pretzel to the list because I remember that one sounding like fun.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

If I really did want to start on this list I needed help because my only taker so far had been Jessica and even I wasn’t ready for that.

That girl was a force to be reckoned with usually leaving both guys and girls in her wake I couldn't keep up the pace with Jessica even if I tried she was really something.

I was usually that girl who either got told to smile more or to use less humour because I was too pretty to be funny which I disagreed with.

Leaving the golden list on my bed I turn around on my knees and begin to wade through my corner of the room next to my desk which truly was a no-go area.

I had box upon box filled with pictures, cassette tapes which I realise now are mostly made by Joe I cannot believe I have kept them this long for like eight years.

Closing one of the boxes because I was not sitting here to reminisce seeing doing that usually put me into a dark mood I have no real idea why but I blame all of my exes.

I leave those boxes to another day and looking left I see something familiar catch my eye as my beloved phone is hiding under my desk slash make up table.

Moving round I pick up my phone to see that I have several missed calls one from Casey and the other from Gina probably wanting to give me an update from last night.

Sitting cross legged on the floor I notice that I two messages so tapping the envelope icon I see that they are both from Joe.

 _“That makes two of us alone in bed I think I may need to come and see you.”_ Read the first one which makes me wonder if he didn't mean to send the message to me.

What the hell did it mean? 

_“Let’s talk because all I can think about is you.”_ The second message reads which sounds a little cheesy but is filled with undertone.

Did he really mean me?

Checking the outgoing message I see that I had basically told Joe I wanted him in my bed because I was all alone and there was a space just for him.

“Oh shit.” I sweat loudly somebody needed to really take my phone off me when I was drunk.

How could I face Joe now? We had been getting along so well and he only probably sent that message to tease me.

Then I wondered if what Joe had put as his status was really aimed at me? 

No, I was being ridiculous he probably hooked up with someone from the bar after hours because the guy had a golden tongue he probably attracted female attention everywhere he went.

This was a disaster that could have been averted if I had only met a guy from last night one that wasn’t a complete idiot but that had never happened.

Instead I sent very mixed signals to Joe and this was it I could not just laugh about it because I could see him telling everyone and getting them to all join in on the joke too.

I did not need that right now so all I could do was ignore everybody and go live in my bedroom for a few days because it was dangerous for me to be out in public let alone drink more alcohol.

Avoiding messages from Joe I get the third degree from Gina instead because she knows something is up but I just tell her I am busy brainstorming ideas for a set of pictures I want to take in the future.

Something else I will eventually get round to but right now I am mostly regretting joining up to those dating sites because some of the messages I have been getting from guys have been just plain weird.

Checking the time on my phone I see that I am running late to meet up with Gina and Casey for dinner which I am sure is their way of trying to figure out what is wrong with me.

Sure I have made a fool of myself on many occasions but I just knew my friends would judge me because my life was on trial right now even though there was not much to show for it.

Picking up my dark green tote bag I chuck in my keys because I had lost them for like two days until I found them in the kitchen cutlery drawer for some strange reason.

Sending a quick text to Gina letting her know that I am on my way I lock the front door then head off out into town enjoying the warm sunshine on my bare shoulders.

Wearing a purple and blue tie dye sundress, flamingo pink sandals and my hair in a messy side plait I feel kind of pretty which gives me a confidence boost one that I have needed in a little while.

“You are late” Gina informs me with a smile.

“Whatever I have been busy.” I tell Gina because beating yourself up over every little thing you do wrong is something I do on a daily basis and needed to stop.

“I still haven’t heard from Dillon.” Gina mock cries having slept with the guy from the last night at Weston’s and since then the guy has gone on radio silence.

“You will meet someone else I am sure.” I smile at my friend who nods back in agreement.

Walking towards the bistro where I had made an idiot of myself thanks to Lance we veer right and continue on to meet Casey at a little Thai food place we always used to eat at.

..............................................................................................................................................................................................................

“Why can’t we go to Upside Down again?” Questions Gina who moans she is already tired from walking because of her tall heels.

“No reason.” I tell her a little too defensively which Gina picks up on giving me a mischievous grin.

“Someone is not telling me something-“

“Riley?” I turn around when I hear someone call my name then wish that I hadn't when I recognise the guy in front of me instantly.

“Pete?” I say his name out loud just in case I was imaging it but sadly I wasn't seeing that familiar grin on his face which reminded me of college like it was yesterday.

“Looking good Hobbs.” Pete informs me even though he doesn't look much different from college besides his hair being shorter and the collection of tattoos on his arms.

“What are you doing in Greendale?” I ask because I haven’t heard Joe talk about Pete at all which makes me think that he was just visiting.

“I moved here a few months ago.” Pete shrugs at me.

“Dude.” I hear Joe yell before I see him just as Pete catches me pulling a face.

“You never told me that Riley had become so hot.” Pete jokes looking at Joe who smirks at him but the moment is gone when he realises that Gina is standing next to me.

“Hi there.” Pete walks past me like he always had at college because I was never his type but that never bothered me because the guy used to be terrible at hooking up with girls.

“Who is this?” Gina addresses this question at me whist I explain that he is another old friend from college and I watch as my friends eyes widen when she remembers my college tale of humiliation.

“I used to have to watch these two all through college.” Pete grins at me but then I see the dark look that crosses Joe’s face and I wonder what the hell they are talking about.

“Well I have been watching them both and something isn’t right but neither will say a thing on the matter.” Gina shrugs at Pete then the pair of them talk as if me and Joe are not even here.

“I cannot believe you still hang out with Pete.” I joke trying to remain calm as I look up to see a smile playing on Joe’s lips.

“I cannot believe you sent me that message.” Joe states as I look round to see if my friends had heard Joe but Gina and Pete were deep in conversation ignoring everything around them.

“That was drunk Riley misbehaving.” I tell Joe trying not to blush and hoping that he will just drop it even though I could ask him the same thing.

“I hope I get to hear from her again soon.” Joe winks at me.

“Stop teasing me.” I order Joe haven’t I been embarrassed enough?

“Let’s hang out again soon.” Joe states and luckily before I can answer Pete places an arm over my shoulder.

“We are off to Upside Down for a few beers would you fine ladies like to join us?” Pete asks still as smooth as ever.

“We have a dinner date with our friend.” I tell Pete removing his arm from around my neck.

“Another time then?” Pete grins at me then adds “We need to have a little talk.”

“Leave them be.” Joe jokes pretending to drag Pete away but not before Gina exchanges numbers with him and I give her a murderous look.

“Catch you later.” Joe tells me as I watch him and Pete walk off in the opposite direction and it feels like eight years hasn't passed at all.

“You look like you've seen a ghost.” Gina grins at me “Why did you not tell me that Pete was so hot?”

“I didn't even know he was in town.” I tell Gina then state “Seriously do not get involved with the guy.”

“Did I hear you tell Joe to stop teasing you?” Gina retorts and I curse back which makes me friend smile at me victoriously.

“Just drop it.” I warn Gina because I was not in the mood right now seeing Pete had just bought back too many memories for me to handle.

Heading towards the Thai restaurant I spy Casey standing outside glued to her phone probably talking to Justin because the pair could not go too long without talking to one another.

“Where the hell have you been?” Casey questions after she sends kisses down the phone to her boyfriend and then snaps at us.

“Riley bumped into an old friend.” Gina nudges me “He is pretty cute too.”

“What about Joe?” Casey asks whilst grinning at me.

“Can we just shut up about Joe please?” I snap which makes my friends giggle and I just ignore them walking inside the restaurant because I was starving and a little pissed off.

Whilst waiting to be seated Gina fills Casey in on who Pete is as she reminds her of the whole college story which I still regretted telling my friends.

Soon talk turns back to Dillon because he calls Gina during dinner and then she proceeds to tell us that she will stop by his place a little later which reminds me of the text I sent Joe.

“You ok?” Casey asks me because I have abandoned my food and I was staring into space.

“Sure.” I tell her not believing myself one bit instead feeling very much out of my depth.


	8. Rescue Me

..............................................................................................................................................................................................................

Lying in bed on my back I stare at the bedroom ceiling wishing that I could sleep for at least a little while but it was no use I even pondered the idea of going for a run despite the fact that it was late at night.

Instead I head out into the living room with a plum coloured cardigan draped over my shoulders picking up my phone from the coffee table seeing if anybody else was awake.

I had still not replied to any of the messages from a few of the dating sites I was with because every time I looked on a profile I got bombarded with chat up lines and even a few dick pictures.

Neither Casey nor Gina knew about this it seemed I could not tell them a lot any more because it felt like they would judge me in the worse way even though I knew they were there for me.

But right now I had decided that I could deal with things at my own pace and when I finally got any good news my friends would be the first to know.

Gina had Dillon right now and Casey was still in love with Justin which was a good sign so it was down to me to join their club to find a guy I could hang out and very possibly have sex with.

Whilst I am out in the kitchen getting another beer I hear my phone ring but it is too late when I race back towards the couch because the caller had rung off.

Dropping the beer heavily onto the coffee table I check my phone and see it was from Gina so I call her back and learn that Dillon chucked her out from his apartment.

“Are you ok?” I question stupidly because Gina sounded like her confidence had been knocked down a few pegs which wasn’t like her at all.

“I am but can you please come and get me.” Gina asks me her voice filled with annoyance.

“I will figure out something.” I tell my room mate firmly then explain that I would be round as quick as possible to help her.

Dillon lives way out on the other side of town and Gina didn't have enough money to get a cab home so was there someone I knew who could help us?

Before I can think better of it I call Joe hoping he is awake and that he still has some kind of car so he can take me to meet Gina.

“I will be over in ten.” Joe tells me sounding a little sleepy whilst I give him my address but I am so happy he can help me out because Gina sounded really pissed off on the phone. 

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Changing into a pair of old blue skinny jeans I leave my vest and cardigan on then head into the bathroom so I could splash some water onto my face and brush my teeth.

Having had several beers I felt my tongue beginning to turn fuzzy whilst I fought with the urge to put on make up but in the end I just brush some mascara onto my lashes and glide lip-gloss onto my lips.

Telling myself that I wasn’t putting any of that on for Joe’s benefit was bullshit because another look at the mirror confirmed my woes that I did indeed look a mess.

Having seen Joe only earlier in the day I try to ignore the flirting that had taken place before my friends had cut in and pray to whomever that he did not mention that idiotic text I sent him.

Hearing a loud beep coming from outside I check out the large window in the living room to see Joe standing outside a black van waving up at me.

Grabbing my phone and keys I slam the front door making our neighbours dog bark loudly then decide to run down the steps as quickly as possible so I could get to Gina.

Usually Gina got herself out of her own problems she would say that she never liked to bother anyone but I was grateful that my friend had called me this time.

There was only ever so much shit one person could take and I knew that even Gina had her limits I just hoped that she hadn't caused a scene with this Dillon guy.

The last time a guy had ditched her Gina had gone back to the guy’s house because he had stupidly given her a key and she had gone to town cutting up his expensive suits.

Sure it wasn’t original and Gina is known to be even more over dramatic then me at times but as they say revenge is sweet and my friend had her fair share of break up stories.

But it was nice to feel involved in Gina’s life because for so long she has told us she was fine and been far from it the girl was way too stubborn.

“Are you ready?” Joe question as I walk round to the van smiling when he appears next to me wearing all black his hood over his head barely containing all of his curly hair.

“Gina needs saving.” I tell him then relaying the address my friend had given me I notice the look on Joe’s face and hope he isn’t about to say a speech.

I can understand the guy in front of me pretty easily from his silly humour to his furrowed brows which usually meant he was over thinking something.

Take right now for instance his lips were parted slightly and he was looking at me with those darn blue eyes distracting me from my thoughts waiting for him to say something to me.

“You owe me one.” Joe finally speaks as he winks at me and tells me to get into the passenger seat of the van but watch for the door because it sticks.

Silently I pull open the door then sit inside the van next to Joe smelling second hand cigarette smoke and the distant smell of musky aftershave.

As Joe switches on the ignition the radio comes back on and he turns it down low whilst he pulls away from the pavement and we are on our way to rescuing Gina.

In silence I watch Joe from the corner of my eye whilst he drives taking in his strong side profile and the way his hands were clutching the steering wheel was making me feel a little hot.

Telling myself off because this was no time for me to be checking out Joe what if he saw me and misread the signals?

“Gina will be fine.” Joe smiles at me mistaking my silence for worry as I think back to my room mate and how she was a survivor.

“Tomorrow is another day she will meet someone else.” I shrug smiling back at Joe.

“What about you?” Joe asks and I shrug back trying to look indifferent over his question.

“Well you do still owe me.” Joe carries on a wide grin appearing on his face as when we hit a set of traffic lights he gives me a sidelong look.

“How?” I retort seeing that Joe picked up on the hint of flirtation in my voice as I smirk back at him.

“A favour that I will ask of you one day in return.” Joe begins pointing at me “Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow-“

“Ok I get it.” I joke back but then add “Thanks a lot for helping me.”

“If you think that being cute is going to get you out from the very special favour I may ask of you then you are sorely mistaken.” Joe states then laughs as he sees my face.

“Cute?” I snort very unattractively because that statement was so untrue.

“Ok you're right. “Joe slams his right palm onto the steering wheel whilst he drives then tells me seriously “You are really lame”

“Very funny.” I dead pan than add “So that is why I am not meeting anyone then?” 

“No your attitude does that. “ Joe states “You are so stand offish that I am surprised we are even having this conversation.”

“Ouch.” I tell Joe feeling a little put out at that was how he saw me.

“The right guy will help you relax and take your guard down.” Joe carries on not even apologizing for his last comment.

“But if my guard is down I will surely get hurt again.” I say out loud suddenly feeling sorry for myself all over again.

“Not all guys are dicks Riley.” Joe tells me seriously like he is some kind of know it all.

“I still need a date for the wedding.” I curse then add “So I better start listening to you.”

“First thing you have said that makes sense to me.” Joe laughs as I hit him playfully on his arm in retaliation to his comment.

“Why did we not hang out more at college?” I question out loud without thinking then instantly regret it as the van goes very quiet besides the soft noise coming from the radio.

“I didn't think you liked me or Pete very much unless we were with Hunter.” Joe shoots back the understatement of the century as I hear it ring true even in my own ears.

“That was then.” I tell Joe seriously then add “It is pretty cool that you guys are in town.”

“Maybe we can hang out some more soon?” Joe questions and I nod in agreement.

“Sure.” I smile then add “I need to go out running with you at some point and get a new job.”

“You will find something soon.” Joe tells me then grins “But if we went out running I would leave you for dust.”

“Is that a challenge?” I ask whilst laughing.

“Am I finally hearing fighting talk from you?” Joe retorts grinning madly at me as we hit a red light and stop.

“I think so.” I smile back nodding.

“First you tease me and now you want to fight me.” Joe cries out then adds “I think I like this.”

“You are such a sleaze.” I joke and Joe gives me a mock hurt look as we drive forwards.

“What would have happened if I had come round to your apartment and joined you in bed?” Joe questions as I feel my mind go blank.

“I would have freaked out.” I joke trying to lighten the mood because I swear it had just gotten very warm all of a sudden.

“Well you managed to make my night even though I wasn’t in your bed.” Joe tells me which makes me fan my hand over my face making him laugh at me when he sees me.

“I knew I was a good flirt.” I wink at Joe making him laugh even more and call me lame all over again.

“You are.” Joe nods at me as we near the other side of town and I look out the window to see signs for Gina and the street she is on.

“I could even make that a full time job.” I retort trying not to get depressed about my life because right now I was having fun chatting with the guy next to me.

“You are awesome.” Joe tells me suddenly “Don’t ever forget that.”

“You’re making me blush.” I reply feeling myself go very shy at the compliment from Joe.

“There you go looking cute again.” Joe grins at me when I notice that we have stopped the van and I look away from his intense gaze.

“There’s Gina.” I point my hand out of the van window shouting to her then I notice that she wasn’t by herself.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Stepping out from the van I see that the guy standing next to Gina wasn’t Dillon and in the space of an hour she had met somebody else.

“Hi!” Gina grins approaching me after I cross the street and I see that wide grin on her face.

“I am here to rescue you.” I smirk seeing the guy next to her give me a funny look.

“Seth here heard me shouting at that asshole Dillon he lives in the same apartment block as him.” Gina explains whilst staring at the guy next her like he was covered in chocolate.

“I rescued her.” Seth grins at me briefly then continues to stare at my friend.

“So we are not needed here then?” Joe questions appearing from behind the truck.

“Joe?” Gina looks surprised when she sees him stand next to me.

“Riley called me but it looks like things are ok here.” Joe dead pans with a smile.

“You sounded really pissed off.” I tell Gina who nods back in agreement.

“I was until Seth appeared.” Gina smiles which annoys me suddenly.

The two continue to talk whilst I stand there like a spare part wishing I had ignored the call from Gina and gone for a run in the dark instead.

Now I just felt stupid for calling Joe because it appeared that Gina was obviously fine and I looked like the idiot.

“Sorry for calling you when it is apparent we are not needed.” I tell Joe who is standing next to me with his hands in his front pockets.

“Thanks for making me sound helpful.” Joe grins then adds “I wasn’t up to much anyway.”

“Guess I owe you more than one favour now then.” I smirk at Joe who pushes his hood away from his face.

“I have a few things that you could help me with.” Joe states leaning closer to me.

“Nothing illegal I hope.” I joke awkwardly.

“It would spoil the surprise if I told you.” Joe winks at me.

“Now I am scared.” I laugh as Joe closes his eyes and grins smugly.

I notice briefly how handsome the guy looks with his head lifted up towards the night sky, eyes still closed but a sexy grin illuminating his whole face.

“So I am safe now.” Gina states shaking me out from my daydream.

“Are you coming back the apartment then?” I question watching Seth hover behind my friend trying and failing to look disinterested.

“No I’m good.” Gina winks at me making me roll my eyes.

“So I woke up Joe for no reason?” I retort trying to control my voice because I stupidly felt jealous that Gina had managed to find someone else so easily.

“I doubt Joe minded” Gina grins at me looking at the guy in question who was still smirking but now his eyes were open wide.

“Like I said I wasn’t busy.” Joe shrugs rubbing a hand over his hair yet again.

“See.” Gina nudges me then asks “Why don’t you two go back and watch a movie or something?”

“I’m tired-“

“My place is nearby?” Joe cuts me off as we both talk at the same time making Gina laugh.

“So it’s settled.” Gina states pointing at me “It’ll be good for you to be out from the apartment for a while.”

“Good plan.” Joe grins and just like that we all say our goodbyes as I watch Seth guide Gina up the steps outside his apartment block.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Walking back to the van with Joe I secretly wished that day break would make an earlier appearance and get here right now so I could just go home.

I bet Joe didn't really want me to hang out with him he was just being friendly with Gina who I was going to kill tomorrow for wasting my time.

“Do you like action films?” Joe questions whilst he unlocks the van and I nod back at him.

“I do.” I smile then add “But don’t feel pressured by Gina to hang out-“

“I want to.” Joe cuts me off “Unless if you are really tired you can crash in my bed.”

“Where would you sleep?” I ask Joe lifting my head up whilst looking at him from under my eyelashes a move I had seen Gina pull many times.

“That depends on if you don’t mind there being an empty space beside you.” Joe states back hitting me right in the stomach with that statement.

“I will get back to you on that.” I smile feeling super awkward because I was terrible at flirting I needed way more practice to catch up with Joe.

Driving in silence we head back towards Joe's apartment then turning right go down a series of blocks until we stop and Joe pulls into an empty space.

“We are here.” Joe grins at me brushing a hand through his messy hair which was something I noticed him doing a lot.

Stepping out from the van I follow behind Joe passing a few houses until he stops and I crash straight into his back because I hadn't been looking in front of me. 

“Sorry.” I mutter not looking at Joe in the face.

“It’s just up here.” Joe tells me whilst I follow him towards a three story house with large front windows and a tall black door.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Inside we walk through a hallway to a ground floor apartment with a green door and heading inside I see a large room which had two large grey couches either side and a wide wooden coffee table in the middle.

“Do you want a drink?” Joe questions making me look round at him and I nod deciding on black coffee. 

A large TV sits proudly on the wall and I notice all the various pictures on the wall some of old gig posters and others of Joe with friends.

It was a very nice place and I presumed Joe lived alone because vinyl was littered all over the floor with the deck player sitting on one of the grey couches ready for use.

“Here.” Joe hands me a large green mug and I thank him then take it.

“Make yourself comfortable.” Joe tells me moving the deck player away from the couch so I place the mug on the table then sink into the soft fabric feeling safe and content.

“This is a really cool place.” I say because making conversation wasn’t my strongest point.

“You haven’t seen the bedroom yet.” Grins Joe whilst I watch him take off his black hoodie to reveal an olive green coloured tee shirt which fitted him perfectly.

“Why does everything sound so rude coming out of your mouth.” I groan deciding that now was the best time to practice how to flirt because Joe was so good at it.

“Why did you assume I meant something rude?” Joe retorts with a chuckle “I just have an awesome bedroom.”

“Well either way it has been a while since I have seen anybody else’s bed other than my own.” I joke nervously taking off my cardigan placing it beside me on the couch.

“That’ll soon change.” Joe tells me whilst I focus on drinking my coffee without spilling any.

“Can we change the subject please?” I question placing the mug down in front of me on the coffee table full of nerves not knowing what to do with myself.

“Have you tried any dating sites?” Joe asks ignoring my request and I nod back at him.

“Signed up but too chicken to do anything.” I explain with a smile.

“It will get easier.” Joe tells me for what I think is the millionth time “Do you want to watch this?”

Holding up a Blu-ray case of the first Die Hard movie I nod and watch whilst Joe bends down in front of the TV which causes his t shirt to ride up his lean back making me stare.

Coughing because I needed to get a grip of myself Joe stands back up straight then comes and sits down next to me on the couch.

Neither of us really talk through the film which is cool because I hate people who do seeing that they cannot stand the silence around them or they end up quoting the whole movie which annoyed the hell out of me.

I have one eye on the TV and the other on Joe who has his bare feet up on the coffee table looking relaxed as always whilst I feel like I am sinking even further into the couch.

Watching Bruce Willis in action is tiring as I try to stifle a yawn but Joe notices it and grins at me whilst I try to stay focused on the movie I had seen before lots of time over the holiday season.

Pretty soon my eyes close and my head begins to feel heavy so I finally allow myself to fall asleep with the film in the background whilst I drift in and out of reality.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Opening one eye I look around the room and remember where I am just as I open my eyes fully and notice I am laying on something on the couch.

“Hey sleepyhead.” Grins Joe as I look up to see I had been asleep on his shoulder and on closer inspection notice that I hadn't left any spit stains from drooling thank god.

“I crashed out.” I tell Joe sitting up and feeling all kinds of awkward in the process.

“You sure did.” Joe smiles then adds “I couldn't hear the film over your snoring.”

“I do not snore.” I cry indignantly which makes Joe laugh loudly.

“Well it is getting late.” Joe stands up raising his long arms over his head and I look away as yet again his tee shirt rises and I get a glimpse of his delicious stomach.

“I can sleep here.” I pat the couch because it was a pretty comfy place to crash on.

“That’s bullshit you can take my bed.” Joe orders me “I can stay out here.”

“Now I feel bad.” I smile at Joe standing up next to him “You all alone out here.”

“I will survive.” Joe shrugs suddenly becoming a little standoffish towards me which I cannot understand why.

Following Joe through his large kitchen he points at the first door on the right and tells me that is the bathroom and the next room is his one. 

“Night.” I tell Joe who nods then I push open his bedroom door and head quickly inside switching the light on whilst slamming the door shut.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

The first thing I notice is how large Joe’s bed is at least a king size with a large black framed headboard and what looked like grey silk sheets.

Secondly I see array of collectable figures from various franchises but mainly Star Wars standing proudly on various shelves and glass units.

Tracing my hand along the soft fabric makes me smile as I fall onto the bed wriggling out of my jeans chucking them onto the floor beside me sighing contently.

It had been a weird night which ended here alone in Joe’s bed all the while Gina is getting to know somebody new and I have a king size bed to myself.

Feeling drowsy I close my eyes and swear that I begin to hear the noise of guitar strings playing softly but assume I am imaging it so I fall into a peaceful sleep.

Waking up because I hear voices I turn on my back and stare up at the ceiling realizing that I was not in my own bed or in my own bedroom for that matter.

Then it hits me that I am at Joe’s still and sitting up I swear I can hear him having a conversation with someone else they are talking in hushed voices so there is no use in trying to eavesdrop.

Getting up from the bed I try to locate my jeans and just as I am trying to pull them up my legs my phone decides to take that moment to ring.

Grabbing it from my back pocket I see that it is Gina so I cradle the phone in the crook of my neck whilst I zip up my jeans.

“Did I interrupt something?” Gina questions instead of saying a hello.

“Hi and no.” I snap back “I stayed away from the apartment I am still at Joe’s but I need to speak to you later.”

“Did you finally have sex?” Gina cheers down the phone.

“Why does everyone think I am still a virgin?!” I snap loudly noticing that the talking outside had suddenly stopped.

“I don’t think-“

“I've got to go.” I cut off Gina then dangerously add “I will have to kill you later.”

“What did I-“Gina muffles before I end the call and shove my phone back into my pocket.

Hearing silence outside I guess I have to face the music and whoever was with Joe so pushing my hair back up into a bun I pull open the bedroom door.

Walking through to the living room I spy Pete before he sees me but Joe looks up and smiles at me so I stand still like a statue.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

“Morning Riley.” Pete grins at me “I can’t believe you made Joe sleep out here all alone.”

“Shut up.” Joe rolls his eyes at me and I smile walking over to the couch where my cardigan was and I find myself deciding to sit down instead of escaping.

“So I hear Gina hooked up?” Pete questions whilst Joe stands heading towards the kitchen as I silently hope that he was making me a strong coffee.

“As always, why?” I ask with a grin “Do you fancy her.” 

“Of course.” Pete sits up from the couch “It’s simple really.”

“No it isn’t!“

“Yes, it is.” Pete states followed by a shake his head “You both could make this a lot easier on yourselves.”

As if I didn't know what he was on about Pete proceeds to point at me then at Joe who was a saviour as he silently hands me a mug of coffee.

“What are you talking about now?” Joe questions shaking his head at me.

“You two.” Pete smirks from me to Joe “It is still hilarious watching you both together.”

“Seeing something that isn’t there.” I dead pan trying to lighten the mood because I did not like the direction Pete was going in with this conversation.

“So I imagined Joe trying to flirt with you throughout college-“

“That’s my phone!” I cheer cutting off Pete when I hear my ringtone play over whatever Pete was about to say.

Turning round I head into the kitchen for a little privacy and I am surprised when I see that it was the temping agency I had walked out from.

“Hello.” I begin praying that it wasn’t Will wanting to catch up with me.

“Riley!” States a familiar voice it was a girl I worked with named Jenny who I had usually gone to lunch with bitching about Will the whole time.

“How are you?” I question happily glad that it wasn’t Will.

Once the pleasantries are over I hear the tone in Jenny’s voice and I brace myself waiting for her to tell me the reason she has called.

“I need a favour.” Jenny begins.

“Not you too.” I joke stupidly thinking back to last night and my chat with Joe in his van.

“It is temp work for the library at the local college.” Jenny tells me “You have an excellent administrative background and I have already put you forward for it.”

“How did you know-“

“I have seen your resume countless times over the past few days and I saw this and thought of you.” Jenny tells me.

“I do need work.” I state because I was going spare in the apartment.

“Well are you busy?” Jenny questions and I look behind me back into the living room to see Joe hitting Pete over the head whilst they spoke in hushed voices again.

“No I am free.” I tell her.

“Well can you get to the college for ten and they will pay you a day for your training which won’t take that long and the women that work there are all ancient so remind them.” Jenny states.

“How long is the gig for?” I question even though I knew this was a temporary solution but it was a solid start to my day at least.

“As long as you can stick it out.” Jenny laughs “I have heard terrible things about the witches of Greendale.” 

“They do not call them that.” I retort with a giggle then ask “Wait do I need to dress like a witch or a librarian?” 

Finishing the call I turn round to see Pete watching me with a smile whilst Joe is absorbed in his phone almost like he has forgotten I was even here.

“What was that?” Pete asks me.

“I have a temp job.” I cheer then feel stupid when I explain that it is at the library we attended college at.

“Kudos.” Joe grins at me “See I told you things will get better.”

“So will you be rocking a sexy librarian outfit then?” Pete bites his lip at me as he imagines this which makes me roll my eyes.

“Red lipstick and unbuttoned blouse all the way.” I wink back at him which makes Joe chuckle as Pete imagines me.

“With the lacy bra-“

“Dude.” Joe cuts in before Pete gets even more carried away and I quickly thank him for last night and then leave.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Rushing home I jump into the shower then try to figure out what I could wear deciding on a green long line dress which reached my knees.

Finding an oatmeal coloured cropped cardigan I check my phone and see like always I am running late so grabbing a bag and chucking all the essentials in I rush off.

Deciding that wedges were a bad choice for running in it is only a few blocks to the college which sat in the centre of town.

It has been eight years ago since I left this place and I had always found it easy to walk past the grounds and briefly enjoy an old memory that entered my mind but today I was heading inside and that felt weird.

Passing through the large gate I head towards the front steps watching people engage in conversation or even throwing a Frisbee to one another.

Heading up the six steps I go through the main entrance to see that nothing has changed the old building still looked the same just different posters covered the halls.

Walking towards the reception I speak to the friendly woman who signs me in and then tells me where the library is I just nod politely because I remembered anyway.

“Good luck.” The woman tells me with a smile which scares me a little.

On wards to the library I catch the eye of a guy who nods at me with a wide grin on his face and I stupidly smile back.

The guy has short black hair and stunning green eyes which makes me stare for longer than necessary even though it did feel nice to get some attention.

Opening the library door I walk inside and I am casted back to my exams when I would spend hours in here studying either for my English lit or language courses slowly going mad because I much rather enjoyed the practical side to my art major best.

I would actually sit in the library here with Joe both of us studying in silence whilst he avoided Pete and I had secretly looked out for Hunter in the hope to try and speak to him.

Smiling at the memory I find the main desk then wait to see if anyone will appear because there was a small queue of people forming behind me.

“I.D” Barks a female voice and I look to see a smartly dressed middle aged woman pushing past students and even me so she could walk behind the small desk.

“I am here for the temp job.” I tell the woman whose name on her badge reads Nancy.

“Is your name Riley?” The woman questions and I nod obediently.

“Strange name.” The woman comments which makes me give her a funny look as she orders me to follow her leaving the queue to form a longer line.

I notice there is stations where you can sign books in and out from the library but guess the students are still lazy as ever opting to queue and look like life is such a struggle.

Following Nancy’s heels as they click on the wooden floor I enter a small office and sit down as the woman hands me a folder and tells me to fill it out.

Grabbing a pen from her desk I begin to read and write the information down on the paper whilst I see Nancy was making me a name badge up.

“Any reason why your parents chose that name?” Nancy questions holding out a plastic name badge for me.

“My name?” I ask and Nancy nods back like it was an obvious answer.

“No idea.” I tell her honestly “I am an only child but I assumed that they liked it.” 

“Enough small talk.” Nancy looks at me “When you have finished that find me outside at the desk with Grace she can show you around I haven’t the time.”

What a witch…or did I mean bitch?

I was here to help not get treated like crap if this was how it was going to pan out no wonder Jenny laughed when I asked her how long I would be here for.

Finishing off the application I place it onto Nancy’s desk then head back out to the front where I see another woman beside Nancy who I assume must be Grace.

“Hi.” I smile at the curly light blonde haired woman her hair pulled back into a tight bun but with a few strands of loose curls framing her pretty face.

“Hello dear.” Grace smiles back just as Nancy barks that her colleague must show me around and that I am needed tomorrow eight am sharp.

“I did notice that you were a little late this morning.” Nancy nods at me making me shrink back.

“Leave her alone.” Grins Grace whilst she grabs my arm and guides me away from the desk.

Grace is a lovely woman very funny and I wish she knew my aunt because I could just imagine the pair of them getting along really well.

The job is pretty simple I will mostly be data entering and putting away all the piles of returned books which looked like one of the most boring jobs ever.

“Have you got a boyfriend?” Grace asks me with a smile and I shake my head.

“Too much hard work.” I joke.

“What about having fun?” Grace winks at me and I double look at her.

“I do.” I smile beginning to feel awkward all over again.

“Enjoy yourself whilst you can.” Grace tells me.

After those wise words of wisdom I am freed from any more advice or hard stern looks from Nancy the manager just being reminded that is an early start tomorrow.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Checking my phone I see Gina has called me a few times and noticing the time I decide to send her a message telling her to meet me for lunch it is important.

“But I am still in bed.” Whines my best friend who decides to call me.

“Not your own I am guessing.” I joke hearing giggling down the line.

“Of course not.” Gina tells me.

“I have important news.” I tell Gina seriously.

“Did Joe try it on with-“

“No.” I snap knowing full well what she was about to say “Just hurry up and meet me at Upside Down.”

Hanging up I walk outside the college then follow the familiar route to my aunts because it had been a while since I had seen her and maybe I wanted to see Joe.

So what? It meant nothing.

I had good news to tell everyone and I was thinking that tonight I would check out a few dating sites and take Joe’s advice.

It was about time I had some fun and not flirted with Joe because that just fuelled Pete to wind him up it was as if no time had passed since college and now.

Walking inside the bar I am greeted by my aunt wrapping her arms around me and Elise smirking at me whilst she flirted with Max who was oblivious the idiot.

Sitting down at the bar my aunt makes me a coffee whilst I try to look subtle scanning the back to see if I could spy Joe’s messy hair bouncing around.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

“He isn’t here yet.” Elise smiles handing me a coffee.

“Who?” I squeak trying to sound normal and not like I had just been caught out.

“Ok are we playing that game now?” Elise winks at me walking off to serve a couple who were hugging one another tightly.

“What game?” I mutter trying to tell myself that I did not know what she was on about.

It is almost two hours later when Gina arrives wearing the same clothes she had last night with Casey in tow behind her.

“I bought back up.” Gina grins at me “Someone woke up on the wrong side of somebody else’s bed this morning!”

“I heard all about you.” Casey points at me grinning.

“Where did you wake up?” Lilly aims this question at me with a hint of a smile on her face.

“Does it matter-“

“She stayed with Joe.” Cuts in Gina cheerfully.

On cue my aunt and Elise begin to talk to me at the same time just as I see Joe appear through the kitchen and I close my eyes hoping I could quickly disappear.

“Joe!” Casey shouts happily smiling at him widely.

“What did you tell them?” Joe questions nudging me with his arm as he comes to stand next to me grinning all the while.

“Nothing!” I state getting a little too defensive because I knew this was some kind of joke at my expense sure but I’ve have had a lot of them recently.

“So what is happening here then?” My aunt asks looking from me to Joe like there is some big secret between us.

“Let me explain.” Gina pipes up setting the scene from last night from her meeting Seth to mine and Joe’s not needed rescue followed by me hanging out with Joe.

“So hanging out turned into a sleep over then.” Giggled Elise enjoying all this far too much it was a shame the bar wasn’t busier so I wasn’t the point of interest anymore.

“You could say that.” Joe tells Elise whose eyes widen.

“Did you two have sexual relations?” Lilly questions keeping a straight face the whole time my aunt knew how to direct a conversation.

“Oh my god.” I mouth placing my head on the bar in embarrassment all I had wanted to do was tell everyone about my temp job not this.

“We're Just friends.” States Joe who I think pats me on the head because I am trying to hide keeping my face down on top of the bar.

“This is rubbish news.” Lilly groans making me look up.

“I had news.” I snap then add “And it wasn’t of the who am I sleeping with variety because that never happened.”

“We get it you guys never slept.” Jokes Casey which even brings a small smile to my lips.

“Never happened.” I sing song trying to make light of all this.

“But it will.” Gina tells me like she is some kind if oracle and knows the future.

“That’s it.” I get up from the stool seeking out a table away from the bar “If anyone wants to talk to me I will be over here.”

“If she did have sex Riley would be in a far better mood.” Elise jokes whilst I flip my finger at her in form of a reply.

It was one thing the others teasing me but Joe fanning the flames had not helped which now left me in a mood I hated the fact that all I ever did at the moment was sulk like a unruly teenager.

Why did I ignore everyone’s advice? I needed to knock myself out of this funk and that involved talking to guys, not just Joe and having sex because I was longing for a little attention.

“So what was your news?” Casey asks whilst placing down a beer in front of me almost like a peace offering which I stupidly accept.

“I have a temp job at the Greendale college library.” I tell her “Sure it isn’t much-“

“That is awesome news.” Casey cheers “It is a step forward and it will get you out from the apartment all day.”

“Do I spend a lot of the time there?” I question with a smirk.

“So did you and Joe have sex?” Gina asks sitting down next to Casey pushing a beer bottle across the table to me.

“Like I said no.” I retort back lining both beers up in front of me I begin to pick at the wet label.

“Yet.” Gina grins then states “Give it time.”

“He likes you.” Casey tells me with an affirming nod.

“What so you think if I tell Joe I need to use him for sex he wouldn't mind and everyone would get off my back.” I snap back at my friends who I notice are not looking at me.

“Here are some bowls for the table.” I hear Joe tells us then see three bowls filled with savoury snacks appear on the table and I am too afraid to turn around even though I knew he was there.

“That was a joke.” I tell Joe looking around to see the face he was pulling which was filled with disdain and it casted me right back to college.

Walking off without saying another word I knew I had blown it with Joe because I hadn't meant what I said and I see the look Gina gives me.

“Oh shit.” Casey looks at me meekly.

Leaving the bar a little while later I do not see Joe again but try to think nothing of it because he had been a nice distraction but it seemed all I kept on doing was act like an idiot around him.


	9. Mixed Signals

..............................................................................................................................................................................................................

Dropping several books from the pile I was holding in my hands I bend down to pick them up but end up losing them all to the floor.

It was a Friday which marked a whole month of me finally getting on with my life but not really getting anywhere looking down at the books I wondered if they were a sign.

“Do you need any help?” I hear a male voice ask me and looking up see that it is the same guy who has been in here every day this week.

The tall guy who had caught my eye whilst I had been walking the halls towards the library on my first day and he had chosen right now to appear.

I watch as he picks up all the books and I hold out my hands to take them marvelling at how green the guys eyes were and how hot he looked close up.

“I've seen you around but are you new here?” The guy asks me and I nod.

“Latest temp in a long line of temps apparently.” I smirk back.

“None have been as hot as you.” The guy tells me and I look up smiling at his compliment finally accepting one.

“Doubtful but thank you.” I state grinning back.

“So my name is George and I was wondering if you wanted to hang out together sometime?” George questions and I nod.

“Sure.” I tell him but then ask “Do you work in college or are you a student?” 

“Student.” George laughs at the face I pull “But I am twenty five and studying to become a teacher.”

“That’s cool.” I grin “I left this college eight years ago so I don’t want to get a reputation.”

“Sexy older woman.” George winks at me “I like.”

Spying Nancy watching me over her large framed glasses I tell George I am busy and he tells me to meet him tonight at an address he writes down on an old receipt.

For the rest of the day I am on cloud nine despite undertaking the most boring job in the world which was archiving because I swear I could just set this all on fire and have done with it.

Were they not aware that computers had been invented and already occupied the library why did they need paper records and old books which looked like they had been so unloved in the past?

It was a little like me I currently felt unloved and hoped that George could help me out in that area because he was the first guy I had seen recently which had given me a few decent fantasies.

Playing them all out in my head whilst I should have been paying attention at the front desk of the library because I needed some excitement in my life.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

“You have a date?” Gina yells at me after I explain why I have all my clothes on the floor trying to decide what to wear setting foot in here as soon as I had finished work.

“Yep a guy who is a student.” I wink at Gina but clarify “He is twenty five.”

“A younger dude?” Gina grins “Well played.”

“I am meeting him at his place.” I tell Gina whose grin covers her whole face.

“This isn’t a date.” Gina laughs and tries to high five me but I keep her hanging “This is a hook up.”

“What?” I roll my eyes but my friend nods at me.

“When a guy tells you to meet you at his he isn’t letting you out of his sight.” Gina states.

“Well bring it on!” I cheer trying to ignore the butterflies in my stomach.

“This is amazing I am going to tell Casey and Pete-“

“No.” I cut in giving Gina a look ignoring the fact that she had Pete’s number because I could only see that ending terribly.

“I’m joking.” Gina grins at me “I would hate to see the look on Joe’s face when he finds out.”

“Like he would care.” I scoff because the guy had been practically ordering me to go out there and get some anyway.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Heading towards Ashton Street I feel pretty good wearing a acid wash denim shift dress alongside black wedge heels with my brown hair left loose and curly.

I kept on repeating the mantra that I looked amazing and I would not over think anything but have a good time instead.

Having had so much on my mind of late I had managed to actually loose a little weight be it from either stress or the fact I had taken up running again so something was working out for me which was a small reward in itself.

Knocking on the door makes the butterflies in my stomach double whilst my nerves triple as I wait for a reply and hope that someone answers.

“Hello sexy.” George greets me and I smile.

“Hi.” I look up to see George holding his arm high so I can enter the house.

No need to duck I walk under his outstretched arm with ease and I stand in his long hallway which had a long row of about eight pairs of sneakers along one wall.

“Don’t panic.” George winds an arm around my waist whilst he steps closer to me “All my house mates are out we have the place to ourselves.”

“Just us?” I question making George nod back at me.

“We can have a few drinks here before we head out.” George guides me forward as I take in the house which looked nice besides the two push bikes in the living room and the mess that was the kitchen.

I stand in the hallway whilst George grabs a bottle of wine from the fridge which I smile at but then sees he picks up two mugs from the side.

“It’s a mess down here let’s go to my room.” George points to the stairs which I walk up and hear footsteps behind me.

“Which door is it?” I ask when I get to the first floor and notice three rooms.

“This one.” George winks at me pushing open the door with his elbow whist he tries not to drop the mugs in his hands.

“Let me help.” I smile taking the bottle of wine from under his arm ignoring the urge to open it and drink straight from it.

I am surprised to say the least when I see that George’s room is clean and tidy unlike the rest of the house which looked very much like a place students occupied.

White walls with a small blue couch and a simple futon bed in the middle which I sit on pulling my dress down as it rises too high above my thighs.

“Let’s have a drink.” George takes the bottle from where I placed it by my feet and I watch as his eyes slowly trail up my legs.

“So what else do you do besides making the library a good place to go again?” George questions handing me a mug of white wine.

“That’s all I do.” I smirk attempting to channel my best friend Gina’s confidence because I was beginning to suspect that she was right.

“You are so hot.” George states whilst I neck the mug of wine quickly.

“Thanks.” I smile leaning forward to take my wedges off I look up to see George watching my every move.

“Do you want another drink?” George asks and I nod taking the bottle from him I drink from that instead whilst he sits down next to me.

“Let’s stay here.” I smirk feeling a buzz from the wine leaning closer to George I add “Get to know one another.”

“All you need to know is that I want you so badly right now.” George states which makes me bite my lip both excited and embarrassed at his admission.

“Then have me.” I state pulling myself further onto his bed leaning on my elbows smirking as George quickly catches on.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Kneeling on the bed George bends down to kiss me firmly his hands exploring my sides as he strokes his hands up and down getting to know all of my curves.

Soon George is gently biting my neck and trying to undo my dress with such urgency like he had somewhere to be after this all the while I wanted to take it slow and enjoy myself.

“Need help.” I smile turning round facing my back to him as George unbuttons my dress and practically rips it from my body.

“Those panties would also look better off.” George tells me which makes me squirm a little but he doesn't’ notice instead pulling me closer to him.

Tugging his t shirt over his head George has a firm chest nothing too serious and very different from Will but he was the last person I wanted to be thinking about right now.

Wrapping his arms around my waist he pulls me onto his lap and I notice the outline of his dick framing his white boxers as he kisses me urgently then trails each one down my chest.

“It’s a front clasp.” I tell George having watched him spend what felt like five minutes trying to undo my bra at the back.

Silently he does as he is told and magically my bra is removed and I sigh when George grabs one of breasts and guides his mouth towards my nipple.

“Oh that’s good.” I tell George who as soon as I uttered those words stops his task in hand then falls back against a bunch of pillows taking me with him.

“I cannot believe I have the sexiest woman in my bed right now.” George tells me wriggling around under me to remove his boxers grabbing something from the side which I soon notice is a condom.

Looking down I see his cock standing proudly pointing directly at me whilst he rips open the foil to place the rubber over himself so taking this as an invitation pulling my underwear to one side I feel his head rub against my lips so I push down.

“Ah that’s hot.” George hisses whilst I slowly begin a rhythm trying to match his pace but he is too quick and isn’t nowhere near hitting me where it counts.

“Slow down.” I tell George as he grabs my breasts greedily and I sit back bouncing up and down on his cock which felt good but it was still missing something.

“Let’s try something different.” George moves sitting up telling me to turn round in front of him on all fours and I sigh as I feel his dick push back into me.

Now this was a better feeling with George clutching my hips whilst our thrusts got more frantic and I was beginning to get that sweet sensation fill up inside me.

I was going to come soon and it was about time because in fact it felt really hot to just hook up throwing caution to the wind and do what was natural.

George slows down on the gas pedal which irritates me momentarily until he pushes his hard cock inside me again thrusting quickly and I finally get my release.

“Oh fuck.” I sigh as I chase my orgasm but it soon diminishes and I am hungry for more.

“Shit.” George groans as he comes then eases himself out of me.

“That was fun.” I smile awkwardly.

“It was as good as I suspected.” George tells me smugly which annoys me but I try not to let it show.

“Want to join me in the shower?” I ask George who already has his clothes back on whilst I have an arm draped over my left breasts.

“You can have a quick one.” George points to where the bathroom is outside so grabbing my bra and dress I race there as quickly as possible.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Once in the safety of the bathroom I get dressed quickly then decide I needed to get out of here maybe put a rain check on the shower because I did not want to look desperate and like I wanted to hang around for longer than necessary.

I was sure that I had a wide smile on my face because it had been fun but I did not want to dwell or feel bad for doing this.

“I need to go.” I tell George who was on his phone but he drops it as soon as he sees me back in the room.

“Sure.” George nods nonchalantly like he hadn't just been inside me like ten minutes ago.

“Maybe we could do this again?” I ask George who winks at me he obviously liked that idea.

“Yes.” George grins as he follows me back down to the front door and with a wave he is gone and I am calling Gina from my phone.

“That was quick.” Gina laughs down the phone as I roll my eyes standing outside George’s house.

“I've had my fun.” I state causing Gina to scream down the phone as I move it away from my ear.

“You've finally had rebound sex?” Questions Gina when she finally stops screaming then adds “After like six months of being celibate.”

“I guess I have.” I laugh at the sentiment of that statement “It was good.”

“Only good?” Gina shouts at me then sighs “Oh Riley.”

“What so do you have mind blowing sex like every time you hook up?” I retort back at my friend.

“I try.” Gina laughs then tells me “You should have held out for Joe.”

“Cut that crap out.” I order “We are just friends.”

“So you are telling me if Joe was to appear at our apartment completely naked you wouldn't pounce on him?” Gina laughs loudly.

“No.” I trail off imaging the scene taking place in my head.

“You’re thinking about it!” Gina states then adds “If I could see your face right now I bet you are blushing all over.”

“Shut up.” I tell her doing exactly that but I state “If you tell Joe or Pete any of this I swear this will be the end of us.”

“I bet Joe would love to hear about how you have a collection of fantasies in your head about him which I want to hear all about.” Gina chuckles.

“No deal they are too rude even for you.” I joke which was the wrong thing to do.

“I can tease them out of you don’t forget I have Pete’s number.” Gina warns me.

“Why do you?” I question wanting to desperately send this conversation in a different direction.

“Because he is fit.” Gina retorts.

“Are we talking about the same guy here?” I laugh.

“Sorry I forgot all you can think about is Joe and-“

“Fuck off.” I laugh down the phone then hang up on my friend because she deserved it.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

After a shower I decide that I should go for a run because I was still on a high from having sex like I had forgotten it even existed but now I was reminded I wanted to do it a whole lot more.

Besides it wasn’t too late for me to head out because Gina was out somewhere anyway and I needed to think some things through in my head before I spoke to her again.

Hair in a high ponytail and running outfit on I decide to go through the park my favourite route because I loved to people watch and see other runners out too.

The sun was now gone the evening sky was changing from bright blue to dark musky pinks and purple’s it was so pretty to see.

Despite this the air was warm and muggy which made me feel sticky even though I had just ran from the apartment to the park.

Stopping to have a drink of water I readjust my vest over my sports bra then decide to run a lap of the large park taking it slow and steady.

This reminds me of earlier because every time I did match George’s pace whilst we were having sex he would begin to thrust faster and I would lose my place like I had read the same sentence over and over again.

Thanks to Gina an image of Joe standing inside the apartment wearing nothing but that sexy smile of his appears in my thoughts and I try to push it away.

Obviously I should not be having thoughts about my friend like that it wasn’t as if I was going to see him in the buff any time soon.

Trying to not think about Joe in any context my mind briefly wanders back to George but as I stop again for another drink I notice I am being watched.

There is a guy only a few feet away from me with a dog and he was stroking its big belly as the dog was rolling in the grass happily accepting the affection it was receiving.

He was openly staring at me the guy almost in invitation to go over there and talk to him because I guess that is what I had to do seeing that very few guys ever approached me.

Raising my shoulders and pushing out my chest I plaster on what I think is my sexiest smile then head on over.

With messy curtained brown hair obscuring his face whilst he looked down at his dog which was a cute Labrador I wonder what the hell am I going to say to the guy.

“Cute dog.” I begin then cringe as I see the guy look up and smile at me even though I just delivered a terrible line.

“Cute smile.” The guy states then shakes his head “Sorry that was awful even though it is true.”

“Thanks.” I grin back.

“I’m Logan.” The guy holds out his hand and I awkwardly shake it as the dog jumps up from his back and comes to say hello.

“Hello.” I address to the dog rubbing his head with my hand I add “My names Riley.”

“This is Oscar.” Logan tells me as the dog shows me his belly and I bend down to stroke it.

“I love dogs. “ I tell Logan explaining how I missed having a pet.

“Maybe you could join us?” Logan questions and I nod.

Following Oscar I walk in step with Logan who talks easily with me and it doesn't feel as awkward as it does with Joe or even earlier with George because some moments had been super cheesy.

Logan throws a ball for Oscar and every time he races back to us eagerly awaiting another turn and I learn that the guy works as a trainee vet and he rescued his dog which was pretty sweet.

We walk twice around the whole park and I do not even notice the night sky turn dark and the street lights flicker on attracting moths and other bugs.

“So this was fun.” Logan tells me moving some of his hair tucking it behind one of his ears whilst I briefly swoon and hope I did not just do it out loud.

“Sure was.” I nod in agreement then ask “Can I join you and Oscar again sometime soon?”

“I think we would both like that.” Logan grins then taking out his phone from his jeans pocket he asks me for my number and I readily give it to him as he rewards me with his too.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

It is when we reach the entrance to the park that I cannot believe my luck when I see a familiar face approaching us with his poor fiancé in tow.

Will’s wide eyed stare fills me with pride as he notices me talking to a super cute guy and even Oscar dislikes him as he begins to bark cautiously.

“Hope to speak to you soon.” Logan tells me and with a wave he pulls Oscar away from Will who was cowering behind the redhead beside him.

“Bye.” I grin then look back and do a fake double take like I hadn't just seen Will watching as this total Kodak moment unfolded.

“Hi Will.” I smile standing confidently in front of him not feeling a hint of remorse or longing for this guy who was openly checking me out.

“Riley?” Will questions like he had briefly forgotten who I was which doesn't annoy me not when I see his eyes following the curves of my body.

Placing my hand on my hips I let him enjoy his moment I even see the redhead nudge him hard in the ribs knocking him out from his little daydream.

“This is Gabi.” Will points to the woman next to him who gives me a hard look but then her face changes into a small smile as she steps forward holding out her hand.

Stupidly I take it as she gives me a firm handshake then we proceed to talk about their wedding which was fine because they weren't asking me any stupid questions.

“How is single life treating you?” Questions Gabi looking smug whilst placing her arm through Will’s like she was claiming him all over again.

“Pretty good. “ I smirk back “It is exiting to be back out here in the dating game think of all the random sex I can have with hot strangers in the night.”

“Like that guy with the dog.” Spits Will sounding very jealous and it excites me to see his reaction.

“Not yet anyway.” I wink at Gabi whose eyebrows rise at my statement.

“I think we need to get going.” Will tells me practically pushing Gabi in front of him because he couldn't get away quick enough.

“We are going to dinner.” Gabi looks me up and down then adds “It is the fancy French place on Elm view” 

Here I notice the strapless blue dress she was wearing and Will who was in beige trousers with a white shirt and brown shoes.

“Do you have any plans?” Gabi questions looking like she couldn't care less.

“That’s the fun with being single.” I smirk back “Anything could happen.”

“Good to see you're looking well.” Will states then tries to back track as I see the look Gabi gives him.

“I do look good don’t I?” I smile then with a nod to them both I decide to run past them back to my apartment because this was my victory lap.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Gina is home when I tell her the good news and grabbing me in a hug we dance around the room like idiots but if this was the sign of good things to come then I couldn't contain my happiness.

For a whole week and a half like clockwork I would either go to George’s shared apartment thankfully not meeting his house mates just yet or he would meet me in the library for a quick fuck.

We have had sex three times in the library restrooms which was a close call and very cramped but it had been exciting either way.

As soon as we were done I would head off back to work or George would salute me with his hand and disappear until the next time we crossed paths.

The sex was quick but easy because we both knew what we wanted from this a little bit of fun to break the mundane of everyday life and the rut I have been in.

Finishing work early today I relax by listening to music being played loudly in the living room whilst laying on me bed wondering if I should text George.

We hadn't hooked up today and I didn't want to seem desperate or anything like I was keeping tabs on him.

Before I know it I decide to call him but curse as it goes straight to voice mail and instantly wish that I hadn't just done that.

Sitting up from my bed I place my phone on the side then swinging my legs down I drop to the floor looking at the corner of my bedroom.

Boxes filled with memories were piled up and without thinking I grab the top one lifting the lead to reveal old photos, letters and even cassette tapes.

The first three boxes were all college junk that I had never had the heart to throw away despite some of the bad memories that the place had held for me.

I haven’t heard from Joe in a little while but those cassette tapes were all the ones he had recorded for me I just couldn’t believe that I still had them.

Picking one up from the box I marvel at the design on the insert sleeve which had rockets and lightning bolts decorated onto it.

“Eighties hair rock.” I state with a smile whilst I read the song list in my head.

Finding a whole bunch more cassettes I decide to keep them all out of the box and stick them onto my bed it is here I notice some pictures I had taken a long time ago.

Once upon a time I used to work as a nanny in between college I had two families I helped out with and it had been fun also worth the money.

It was that year in 2005 aged 19 that I had helped at a child’s six year old's birthday party taking pictures with the dad’s camera.

I had so much fun that day and felt even more pleasure when parents from the party had requested pictures of their kids because I had caught such nice images of them.

It had been a superhero’s party and the parents had hired two guys one to dress up like superman and the other batman which had driven the kids mad when they had appeared in the garden.

Smiling at the memory I get an idea in my head which I do not dismiss straight away of getting back into becoming a nanny again.

It would be more interesting than my job right now which I shouldn't moan about really but there was only so much filing one person could handle.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Picking up my laptop I call a few agencies which were local to see what I needed to do to get back into being a nanny because it could be fun.

I loved kids and had enjoyed my time before with the two families and their three kids combined all of whom I had drawn pictures with and played in the park with running around making them laugh.

Signing up with an agency over the phone I had taken my first steps I had to also drop into the office to speak to Nadia the woman I had been talking with and see what my plan of action would be.

It made me smile to think that I was in with a chance of finding happiness after Will even though I had never thought it at first but now I couldn't be happier.

The next day at work I still haven’t heard from George and when the time we usually hook up comes and goes I wonder if it is something that I have done.

It had been good getting a little but I guess he had gotten bored of me even though the sex had been fun it had never truly hit the spot.

I wasn’t after another relationship any time soon and I was sure that I hadn't freaked out George by getting too close because he had been the one who would come find me.

Then it hits me as I sit behind the front desk signing students in and generally ignoring them because I was having a realization that George was holding all the cards.

He wasn’t using me exactly but I had a little less say in whatever this was than I thought which wasn’t fair at all.

“Fancy a fuck?” I hear the guy in question ask as I look away from the computer screen to see George wiggling his eyebrows at me.

“I’m busy.” I stand up feeling a little annoyed at myself for ruining my own fun by over thinking stuff all over again I thought I was over that.

“Ah, come on.” George taps his right hand on the desk “I need you.”

“Go away.” I snap deciding to walk off and leave him standing there.

Heading towards Nancy’s office I place the folders I had under my arm on her desk then turn around to pick out the next ones I needed before I had to refile everything just to look like I was working.

“Now do you want to fuck?” I hear George ask and turning round I gasp when I see him standing there with his jeans around his ankles and his t shirt on the floor.

“You cannot be in here.” I snap trying to ignore the smug look on his face.

“Come on.” George steps closer and I take a step back from him.

“You look like an idiot.” I tell him shaking my head.

“You look hot.” George winks at me.

“Please just go away.” I plead hoping he takes the hint before somebody sees him.

“Stop teasing me.” George moans and I resist the urge to throw something at the guy. 

“What in heavens!” I hear Nancy before I see her appear in the doorway taking in the scene of me and George which could totally be blown out of proportion.

“It isn’t-“

“Get out!” Nancy shouts at George who is already zipping up his jeans and has his tee shirt over his head he runs away like the coward that he is.

“Look I can explain-“

“My office is not a place where you can invite your boyfriend in for a little fun.” Nancy snaps at me.

“He decided to show up-“

“I am sorry but I cannot have you stay here any more you need to leave now.” Nancy states cutting me off with the final word.

“Can’t I explain myself?” I question trying not to get upset because I was being wrongly accused here.

“You are just a temp we can replace you I do not want to hear what you have to say for yourself.” Nancy tells me and I follow her back out from the office seeing students looking up over the computer monitor wondering what all the noise was about.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

I keep walking past Nancy who didn't even give me a chance to tell her what really happened but that didn't matter because I had no job all over again.

Thanks to a guy I had gone back to square one yet again I thought I was having fun but I was truthfully just getting used and being made to look a fool.

Could I not trust another guy ever again?

Where had I gone wrong this time I thought things were starting to look up but someone has decided that I was having too much good luck?

Tears fall down my face from the humiliation of just being a plain loser and wiping them away I walk as fast as I can from the one place I could not stand to be at any longer.

Deciding to go for a walk I thought I was less likely to carry on crying but I found it really hard to stop now I had started.

Walking towards the centre of town I find several benches near the water fountain and decide to sit down to compose myself.

My phone begins to ring but I ignore it until the caller doesn't give up and my voice mail is not kicking in somebody really wants me to take this call.

“Hello.” I mutter as I sniff loudly.

“Riley you ok?” I hear Joe ask feeling anything but.

“Been better.” I tell him not wanting to get into it right now.

“Well can you talk right now?” Joe asks me.

“Sure.” I mutter wishing I hadn't answered my phone.

“Ok so I thought it was about time I cashed in one of those favours you owe me.” Joe states mysteriously.

“Of course you did.” I say sarcastically.

“Come meet me so we can talk properly.” Joe tells me “Because your line must be bad seeing all I can hear is sarcasm and muttering.”

I smirk at this briefly forgetting that I had been in tears moments ago “Ok you got me.” I tell him.

Joe is hanging out at Delany’s the coffee house so plans are made to meet him there so I wipe my eyes deciding that I wanted to hear what he had to say.

Sure Joe was a guy but he hadn't hurt me yet so I guess until the day that he did I would have to try and trust him which I was beginning to find an issue with regarding the opposite sex.

Spying Joe sitting outside in the sunshine I take a seat opposite him placing my handbag in front of me on the table.

“Want to talk about it?” Joe questions and I shake my head.

“Not right now.” I tell him then trying a smile I ask “So what is this favour?”

“Do you want a drink?” Joe questions rubbing a hand across his chin I nod and say a cold one as I watch him head inside the coffee house.

Rubbing my eyes I see stains of mascara over my thumbs so I check my reflection using the camera function on my phone because I had all my make up but no mirror.

I looked like I had huge black bags under my eyes which was very unattractive so I wipe away the marks with a napkin from the table so my face is nude again.

Unzipping my make up bag I root around for my mascara but then deciding against it I look up to see Joe has reappeared.

“Here.” Joe hands me an orange juice with crushed ice which had slices of orange in the plastic cup complete with a straw.

“Thanks.” I smile then stop when I briefly wonder what Joe thinks of me without make up on or even if he actually notices because Will never claimed too.

I watch as Joe sits back on his metal chair picking up his Styrofoam coffee cup then placing it back down onto the table.

We sit in silence for what feels like ages but it could have only been seconds when I decide to talk.

“I got let go from my job today.” I tell Joe who looks up from his coffee cup.

“Shit sorry-“

“No big deal just the guy I had been sort of seeing decided to follow me into an office with his jeans round his ankles expecting me to drop my panties but we got caught instead.” I exhale after talking super quickly.

“So you got the blame?” Joe questions moving his chair forward closer to the table.

“Yep my manager Nancy walked in and George ran away as quickly as he could whilst I got shouted out but it isn’t that much of a loss.” I explain with a shrug.

“What an ass.” Joe shakes his head then asks “Who is George?”

“Some guy I've been kinda hooking up with.” I smirk at Joe who grins back.

“Oh really?” Joe nods his head then asks me “Were my services not needed?”

“I didn't know I could ask.” I retort back making Joe chuckle.

“Well it is good to see you are having some fun finally.” Joe nods.

“Was having fun.” I explain “I won’t be seeing him again any time soon.”

“Which leads me to this favour.” Joe smiles at me.

“That sounds daunting.” I grin nervously.

“Well would you like to be my date this weekend?” Joe asks me.

“Did Pete say no?” I laugh trying to conceal my curiosity.

“He would just show me up.” Joe smirks “But I did ask Elise though.”

“So I am your last choice?” I retort feeling a little jealous for some unknown reason.

“It isn’t like that.” Joe tells me “I just thought with the favour-“

“That you could use me to be your stupid pretend date?” I cut in then snap “Why would I do that?”

“You are blowing this right out-“

“No you are just another guy looking out for number one.” I stand from my chair “Look I have had a real shitty day and I so do not need this right now.”

“It’s just a favour.” Joe states yet again.

“And where will it lead to?” I question.

“Anywhere you want it.” Joe grins trying to make a joke to possibly ease the tension but I was in no real mood right now.

“Well I suggest you go and ask Elise again because I say no.” I state.

“Look please just-“

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

I ignore whatever Joe says and turning round I do what I do best leave and decide to head to the bar hopefully he wasn’t working soon so I wouldn't see him again today.

Spying Elise outside having a cigarette I try to walk past her because I didn't want to talk to her right now but she has caught me staring in her direction.

“Don’t go in there just yet.” Elise tells me with a smile “Max is in a right mood.”

“Why?” I question trying to stall for a few moments.

“Well don’t get angry-“

“Too late.” I cut in.”

“Oh.” Elise fiddles with the end of her long blonde ponytail then tells me “Joe asked me out yesterday which set Max off.”

“Because the dude is really into you.” I tell her matter-of-factly.

“Oh I know-“

“Did you say yes to Joe?” I question even though I already knew the answer.

“Of course not.” Elise gives me a funny look.

“Like to keep all the guys waiting.” I retort.

“No.” Elise tuts at me then adds “I am seeing Max silly.”

I let those words sink in for a few moments then begin to feel like such an idiot as I see Elise watching my reaction.

“We have been dating for a few weeks.” Elise shrugs at me “Nobody at work knew until Max threw a fit at Joe who is a harmless flirt.”

“He sure is.” I mutter and Elise smiles at me.

“Joe’s a good guy.” Elise smirks at me “Give him a chance.”

“I think Max wants you.” I tell her noticing the guy in question waving his hands about behind the bar.

Heading inside the bar with Elise behind me wondering why I hadn't noticed that her and Max were now a couple and that if truth be told Joe was in fact a good guy.

I guess I now had to go and apologise to Joe for jumping to conclusions and see if I could still help him out with that favour surely I could pretend to be his date for just one night?


	10. Let's Pretend

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Early the next morning I have an idea and finally getting Pete’s phone number from Gina I call him and he answers on the third ring.

“Hey who is this?” I hear Pete ask whilst sounding tired.

“It’s Riley-“

“What’s up?” Pete cuts in.

I wait a few seconds then ask “Do you know where Joe is?”

“Have you called him?” Pete questions.

“Er no I want to surprise him-“

“He would like that a lot.” Pete cuts me off laughing.

“I need to talk to him.” I tell him ignoring that comment.

“Well he is either out running or at his place.” Pete tells me.

“Thanks for your help Sherlock.” I dead pan.

“Can I ask what this surprise is about?” Pete asks me then adds “Don’t spare any details.”

“Bye Pete.” I hang up on him whilst he is yelling at me down the line.

 

Ok so that didn't really get me anywhere I guess I needed to be more upfront sending Joe a message I ask him to come meet me at the park like right now.

The sun was low in the sky ready to make another reappearance as morning broke and the clouds were turning light and fluffy shaking off their sleepy slumber.

Heading towards Delaney’s I grab a coffee hoping that Joe has got my message and he will meet me to hear what I have to say to him.

The air was cool and a slight breeze played around with my hair blowing it gently into my face which was annoying me because I needed to think about what I had to say to Joe.

I bet he thought I was a right bitch walking away from him like that and also for what I had stupidly said at Upside Down because I really did need to get out of the habit of running away by just swallowing my pride and apologising.

Seeing Joe before he sees me I stand a little way back from him watching as he unzips his black hoodie and I notice that he is wearing black shorts and a fitted white tee.

From this angle I could see his thighs tighten every time he raised a leg up to stretch out making me think very impure thoughts whilst I tried not to drop the coffee in my hand.

“Hello there.” States a voice and I turn round to see a middle aged woman smiling at me whilst holding a dog lead attached to a small Corgi who had its tongue out panting heavily.

“Morning.” I smile looking back to see Joe bending over stretching his arms down to his feet trying not to check out his ass but failing miserably.

“Enjoying the view.” The woman laughs whilst I give her a double look.

“It’s ok I was young once believe it or not.” The woman nods at me “I have been married for over thirty five years but I still like to appreciate other gentlemen.”

“Wow.” I state at both comments making the woman’s eyes crinkle as she laughed at my reaction.

“So why are you out here this early?” The woman questions.

“To go running.” I tell her then add “I like early mornings”

Looking ahead I take in the woman next to me with grey short hair wearing tortoise shell glasses still smiling as I notice her watching Joe.

“I think you should go and say hello.” The woman tells me “It is never wise to live with regrets.”

Hearing the woman’s voice change I look back to see her almost look sad but the moment passes as a wide grin covers her face and she places her hands around her mouth.

“Excuse me!” The woman shouts and I look at her wide eyed in horror because I wasn’t ready to talk to Joe just yet even though it was the one reason why I was here.

Joe turns round moving his messy curls from his eyes whilst I try and fail to hide behind the woman who was waving at him to come over.

“Hello there.” The woman smiles at Joe as he approaches us giving me a bemused look.

“Hi.” Joe grins down at the woman then bends down to stroke the Corgi who was trying to wrap it's lead around my ankle to get my attention.

"Are you out here alone?” The woman questions and I see Joe nod.

“Off for a run.” Joe tells the woman who gives me a look.

“Well what a coincidence.” The woman laughs then points at me “It looks like you have found yourself a partner.”

“Do you run?” Joe asks me with a small smile playing on his lips as he teased me.

“Sure.” I smile back feeling my cheeks going red thinking it wasn’t supposed to turn out like this.

“Well off you go.” The woman pats Joe on the back as he stands back up next to me.

“Can you keep up?” Joe asks me which was fighting talk and like clockwork it set off my competitive side as I nodded back at him.

“Have fun.” The woman who I had briefly forgotten about states as she waves goodbye to us and continues her walk in the park.

“What was that all about?” Joe grins at me stretching his elbow and shoulders.

“I will explain later.” I tell Joe placing the coffee which must be lukewarm now onto the nearest bench and taking off my cardigan.

“So a lap around the main park.” Joe tells me as I notice his eyes watching me whilst I silently nod.

“First back to the bench wins.” I state making Joe laugh at me.

“So it’s a race now?” Joe questions taking off his hoodie and chucking it next to a large backpack.

“Sure.” I smile back knowing that I could beat him.

“Ok let’s make this interesting.” Joe tells me “If I win you have to go on that pretend date with me this weekend.”

“Yeah right.” I retort then think “Ok if I win-“

“Which won’t happen if you don’t stretch out I could help you with that?” Joe cuts me off with a smile.

“If I win.” I repeat ignoring Joe’s comment “I want you to forget about the favour I owe you.”

“Well actually it is two favours and-“

“Do we have a deal?” I cut off Joe and grin as he nods.

 

Both leaning forward ready to start I wait eagerly whilst Joe counts to three and then shouts go so I stand back up and set off.

We are both running together neither taking the other one over so I try to up my game because I hoped Joe wasn’t going to just let me win.

“Hey.” Joe laughs as I over take him and see from the corner of my eye him picking up speed and going past me which makes me swear at his retreating back.

We pass the middle aged woman who waves at me as she tries to calm down her dog who was barking madly at us.

A little further along I think I am just about to catch up on Joe as he slows down we are nearly halfway but then my left leg begins to cramp and I end up hitting the pavement instead.

“Shit.” I yell having fallen on my hands I had grazed my elbows and knees because I had landed in a praying position on the ground.

I look up to see Joe coming back over to me and with a grin he tells me “I told you that you needed to stretch.”

“Stupid cramp.” I wipe my hands and check my elbows to just see scrapes on my skin no cuts luckily as I accept Joe’s outstretched hand.

Helping me stand back up it takes a few goes until I can apply pressure back to my right ankle so I find myself leaning on Joe whilst his arm is snaked around my waist.

“You Ok?” Joe asks whilst I briefly enjoy the touch of his hand on my bare skin holding me up whilst I try to contain all my stupid thoughts and feelings.

“Awesome.” I tell him with a smile moving away from his side placing my foot back onto the ground feeling the pain from the cramp diminishing.

“So why did you ask me to meet you?” Joe gives me a sidelong look “Even though I was on my way here to the park anyway.”

“I had just wanted to say I was sorry for yesterday and that I'd bought you a peace offering.” I tell Joe with a small smile.

“What about the woman with the Corgi?” Joe questions with a smirk.

“She had caught me looking over at you and got the wrong impression.” I state closing my eyes feeling suddenly embarrassed.

“Ah so you had been checking me out.” Joe nods like it all makes sense now.

“No.” I shake my head “As I said I wanted to talk to you.”

“Well I accept your apology.” Joe tells me then asks “Where is my peace offering?”

“It’s the coffee.” I point back over to the bench knowing it would be stone cold by now.

“So now you owe me another coffee and two favours.” Joe states rubbing his hands together with a wide grin on his face.

“What about the race surely we need to start again-“

“Just admit you want to go on this pretend date with me.” Joe cuts me off then adds “It’ll be fun.”

“Will it shut you up if I say yes?” I question making Joe nod happily.

When I finally agree Joe cheers loudly as we stop back at the bench and this time I stretch properly hoping that I get a second chance at that race.

Instead we jog together around the park at a slow pace Joe making me laugh with his stupid commentary as he narrates everything we see.

When Joe reminds me that I owe him coffee I suggest that we go back to my apartment which makes him smirk at me and I decide there and then that it is the best idea ever.

 

That thought stays with me until I unlock the door to see both Gina and Casey are in the apartment and from the look on their faces they are surprised to see us together.

“Hello.” Gina states raising her voice in excitement.

“Been running together?” Casey questions and I look back to see Joe smirking at me.

“Yes-“

“Something like that.” Joe jokes cuts me off making Gina cough.

“I was just offering Joe a coffee.” I tell my friends who find this hilarious.

“Riley owes me one.” Joe winks and I nudge him in the stomach with my elbow because he was teasing me in front of Casey and Gina on purpose.

“We were just leaving.” Gina leans back from the wall grinning all the while.

“Don’t leave on my account.” Joe shakes his head firmly.

“Well don’t you two want to be alone?” Casey questions as I glare at her.

“We can flirt here.” Joe tells her wrapping his arms around my waist whilst I try to twist round so I could make the coffee and hide the blushes on my cheeks.

I smile as I see Gina and Casey sit in silence for once watching us like we are something on the Discovery channel.

“Stop it.” I giggle as Joe finds a spot on my right side where I am really ticklish and begins to gently stroke there causing me to shudder.

“Ow!” Joe mock cries as I push him away playfully and he almost ends up knocking his coffee over whilst I try to pour hot water in the mug.

I knew this was just for the benefit of my friends but secretly I was enjoying whatever was happening right now.

“I don’t know if I want to take you out on Saturday now.” Joe pouts at me as I roll my eyes.

“You promised me.” I tell him with a grin.

“You still owe me.” Joe smirks back as the pair of us are lost in moment smiling back and forth like idiots.

“Ok I am going to throw up.” Gina states then adds “You guys are almost as bad as Casey and Justin.”

“Hey.” Casey pushes Gina with a smile on her face.

“Get a room guys.” Gina sing songs at us.

“I like to take my time.” Joe winks at me as I hear Gina snort loudly from across the room.

“Wow.” Casey laughs.

“He’s just teasing.” I trail off as I watch Joe drink his coffee quickly almost like he suddenly wanted to get away from me thanks to my friends.

“Thanks for the coffee.” Joe smirks at me having only drunk a little he brushes some hair from his face then nods at Gina who rolls her eyes.

“See you Saturday?” I tell Joe who stands close to me placing a hand on my shoulder.

“I cannot wait.” Joe whispers in my ear leaning close to me making me shudder again.

“It’s a date.” Joe’s lips move from my ear to my cheek giving me a kiss then he stands back up and leaves with a wave.

I shut the door then turn round to see both of my friends smiling widely at me as I awkwardly move some hair behind my ear waiting.

 

“What was that?” Gina questions happily.

“I don’t know what you mean-“

“Come on!” Casey laughs “Joe was ready to jump your bones.”

“We just hanged out this morning.” I tell them “And then he invited me out to a bar he used to work at on Saturday.”

“So you guys have a legit date?” Gina grins at me.

“I guess so.” I lie because I knew I was doing this just for pretend but I did not have to break that to my friends just yet because I guess I needed the practice.

“I thought you would be happier?” Casey asks me.

“I was waiting until he left so I could freak out.” I grin feeling excited for the prospect of Saturday.

“So where is this bar?” Gina questions then adds “Do we need to tag along?”

“No.” I tell them seriously “Please don’t.”

“Look at you with your face all flushed.” Casey teases me.

“The bar is where his friend works.” I begin then go in for the kill “But he used to be Joe’s manager and now he is dating his ex Shona.”

“So Joe is bringing you along to make his ex-jealous?” Gina looks at me with wide eyes.

“Why not?” I grin trying to make light of all this. 

“Don’t you think he is just using you?” Casey questions and I shake my head.

“No he asked me out on a friendly date guys can’t you be happy for me?” I mock whine pulling a sad face.

“I called it.” Gina gives me a sly smile “Hold onto your underwear you are in for a good ride.” 

“Ha ha.” I shake my head ignoring the heat I could feel appearing on my cheeks again.

“What are you wearing on Saturday?” Casey asks me and I give her a blank look.

“I will chuck something together-“

“You have to look amazing.” Gina cuts me off with a firm nod.

“So Joe can show you off.” Casey smirks then states “I think the guy will treat you right.”

That was what I was afraid of could I remember that this was all just pretend that Joe was sort of doing me a favour by helping me meet someone in a rather unconventional way.

Well it was something for me to do to take my mind off the worry of worrying which was something I did a lot because if I wanted anything done then I wanted it done right away.

 

I was due to meet Nadia tomorrow at the agency and hopefully this was help me get a job which would free up time spent over thinking about everything at once it was stressful.

“Hi Riley.” Nadia greets me as I am waiting in the agencies reception and I know it is her because I read the name badge attached to her flowery shawl.

“Hello.” I smile back as we exchange friendly handshakes then she leads me to her desk.

Nanny Network is an agency in town which specializes in childcare and I felt really good being here this was a good road to be going down I could just feel it.

What with me and Joe doing whatever we were doing and this I felt things were on the way up which was fortunate because it had felt that I could not sink any lower recently.

“You have an impressive resume.” Nadia tells me and I nod politely.

“So what has made you decide to change careers?” Nadia questions and I chose now to freeze up.

A few seconds pass but it feels like an hour so I stutter “J-just fancied a change I have worked with children before and really enjoyed helping out the families.”

“That’s good.” Nadia nods back.

So it goes on Nadia shooting me questions as I try to answer them as best as possible then signing about eight different kinds of forms then I am all signed up and ready to work.

“Congratulations.” Nadia shakes my hand again. “We will let you know when we get the disclosures back for you being able to work but it all looks good to me.”

“Cannot wait.” I smile leaving the agency full of happiness.

Joe messages me Saturday afternoon to meet him at the bar in town at eight where there is an event to promote their own vodka which was something I was going to need a lot of.

The nerves hit me around six that evening finally out from the shower I desperately wanted to tell my friends that tonight was just a favour and not a real date.

I think I needed to hear somebody else clarify that this was a good idea and it would in fact be fun and not something that would haunt me for a long time after.

Images of me embarrassing myself in front of Joe’s ex filtered through my mind as I walked from the bathroom to my room slamming the door hard.

I had two hours to talk myself through this and decide on one of the three outfits I had picked out especially for tonight because I wanted to look cool not over the top or under dressed.

It still felt as hot as it had during the day time even though the sun was lowering its weary head so I had to pick something which would keep me cool and also look the part.

Jeans and a vest top just would not cut it tonight because I wanted to look like a new me who was able to look good in anything well I guess I could dream.

I was terrible at deciding things and this was no different because I had two dresses which I had my eye on for tonight one was a tight fitting grey dress which I could wear with my sleeveless black leather gillet.

Looking cool was an option because I wanted to look good and feel confident seeing I had no idea what Joe’s ex looked like and I secretly wanted to look better.

My other dress was a strapless number which was aqua green with slits either side which I liked but I kept staring back at my first option so I guess it was decided.

Before I can over think I choose this dress then twist sections of my hair up into a messy low bun at the nape of my neck feeling ready but secretly wishing my friend had stayed here until I'd left.

Gina had some kind of date and I really hoped that did not mean that she would appear at the same bar where Joe was taking me to keep tabs on me or something because she would totally pull a stunt like that.

I personally never really liked chain bars but Gina had told me all about Shooters and how tonight a big deal was but I bet she was just saying that to scare me.

It would be interesting to see where Joe had worked before coming to Upside Down because it was these kind of places that drew in the college crowds and young twenty some things.

Finishing my make up I grab my brown ankle boots and step into them bending down to zip them up then tucking my dark blue clutch bag under my arm I am ready.

Early for once I still decide to take a taxi to the bar I wanted to get there before Joe and scope out the outside to see what I was in for tonight.

Exiting the taxi I hand the woman some cash then leaving a tip I thank her whilst she wishes me luck for tonight because I had told her what I was up to.

“Just hope this guy is worth it.” The woman chuckles as she sees my face.

“I’m figuring that out.” I tell the woman with a grin.

“That’s the fun part.” The woman begins “Wait until you get him wrapped around your finger.”

Could I actually make that happen? 

 

Crossing the street I notice the large yellow sign and the wide windows which showed you that inside was already filling up and there was actually a queue forming at the doors.

The place was a mixture of a sports bar and something that looked like a frat house with labels from beer and other alcoholic bottles stuck onto the walls alongside posters plastered everywhere.

Turning round I scan the crowd to see if I can spot Joe then noticing that I am standing behind him and his back is turned on me.

“Guess who?” I grin as I tip toe even in my heeled boots placing my hands over Joe’s eyes.

“It’s my date.” Joe states turning round as I remove my hands and we smile at one another.

“Sadly.” I shrug whilst Joe nudges me telling me to knock it off.

“You look good.” Joe steps back taking me all in as I squirm under his scrutiny.

“That’s enough.” I tell Joe who takes his phone out from the back pocket of his dark grey jeans then pulls me closer to him.

“Say cheese.” Joe grins as he holds his phone high above my head to take a picture of us together and I cannot help but smell his aftershave when he leans down close.

“Are you documenting tonight?” I question making Joe laugh and hold his phone close up to my face whilst I bat his hand away.

“I cannot believe you are here.” Joe pats the side of my face to double check but the contact makes me blush like an idiot as he places his phone back into his pocket.

“I need a drink.” I tell Joe going to walk inside but feel him grab my hand and tug me back.

“Before we go in there.” Joe begins still holding my hand which feels like it is on fire “I just want to say that I really appreciate this.”

“Sure.” I nod then state “It’s just a favour I owe you.”

“Of course.” Joe quickly let’s go of my hand which makes me want to moan because I had been enjoying the feel of his hand grazing mine.

“Friends out on a pretend date.” I smirk at Joe trying to ease the awkwardness before we stepped foot in the bar.

“Tonight you are all mine.” Joe grabs me around the waist pulling me closer as he rests his hand on my right hip as we walk side by side into the bar.

Through the glass doors the place is packed even though it is after eight in the evening and I see that all over the place adverts are in place for Victory Vodka and the different flavours that were available.

Joe stands behind me as we walk closer to the bar his hands still on my hips guiding me forward and I let him.

 

“So?” I turn around when we stop as close the bar as we can get “Where is this friend of yours?”

“I’m not looking for him or Shona.” Joe looks down at me “I’m here with you.”

I smile as I watch Joe push through the crowd to get to the front of the bar then turning round I feel like I am being watched but I dismiss it as I was full of nerves again.

A tall redhead I notice is either staring directly at me or in my eye line wearing a vintage looking silk dress which clung to all her curves and it makes me feel very out of my depth.

Walking away I think nothing of it undoing the zip on my leather gillet pulling some more hair around the front of my face for something to do.

“Here.” Joe holds up a tray of clear plastic shot glasses as he reels off all the different flavours and I decide on an apple one.

“To an awesome night.” Joe cheers as I nod back at him then we both drink the shot quickly.

“It’s very sharp.” I cough enjoying the warmth on my throat but the apple taste was too strong.

“Have a raspberry one.” Joe hands me another shot and I take it quickly from his hand and swallow it smiling as this one tasted better.

“We have a winner.” I tell Joe who grins at me.

Finishing the tray we decide to walk around trying to comment on the bar over the loud dance music being blasted out by an in house DJ.

“What did you say?” I question as Joe finds an empty stool by a table and tells me to sit down.

Leaning closer to me he places a leg in between mine “I said you look really good tonight.”

“You mentioned that earlier.” I smirk brushing some hair behind my ear.

“Well I am reminding you.” Joe tells me “You are the hottest one here.” 

“What are you after?” I question whilst Joe shakes his head.

Placing his hand under my chin he lifts my face up so my eyes meet his and he tells me “I want you-“

“Joe!” Yells a voice cutting into whatever Joe was about to say to me which makes me groan in frustration.

 

I see the look on Joe’s face as I take in the guy he is shaking hands with a little shorter than him with styled blonde hair wearing a grey and black suit.

“Leon.” Joe smirks then he turns round to face me and I see the blonde guy openly checking me out like I was standing here just to be ogled at. 

“This is Riley.” Joe slides an arm around me and I let him as I take a step closer smiling at Leon.

“Hi babe.” Leon smiles at me whilst I feel Joe’s grip tighten around me.

“This is quite an event.” I tell Leon noticing the girls wearing tiny black shorts and cropped black t shirts with the Shooters logo emblazoned on the front.

“It was all Shona’s idea to gather a fun crowd.” Leon smiles at me then gives Joe a look.

“So how is that working out?” Joe questions loudly over the music in the background.

“Good.” Leon tells him after a momentary pause and I hope to god a fight wasn’t going to break out any time soon.

“What about you?” Leon aims the question back at Joe nodding at me with a wide grin on his smug face.

“We are having fun.” Joe begins looking down at me with a wink “It is early days.”

“We usually spend most of our time in bed together.” I tell Leon making his eyes almost poke out on stalks like something you would see on a cartoon.

Joe gives me that sexy smile of his as he laughs along with me and adds “What can I say I cannot get enough of her.” 

“I think Shona wants me.” Leon states excusing himself whilst Joe squeezes me closer to him grinning madly.

“That was superb.” Joe chuckles at me “You even had me going then.”

“See I can flirt.” I smirk back flushing with pride at the look Leon had given me before he ran off back into the crowd.

“I have no doubt in that.” Joe leans down and it almost looks like he is about to kiss me but instead he gives me a peck on the cheek like he had the other day in front of Gina and Casey.

“Beer?” I question standing up from the stool quickly.

“Don’t you mean vodka?” Joe grins “I will get us another tray wait here-“

“I can get it.” I cut Joe off whilst he rolls his eyes at me.

“Let me go.” Joe states ordering me to sit back down on the stool so I do.

Watching Joe’s back as he retreats into the crowd I smile as the plain white tee looked good on him with black sunglasses hanging from the collar.

As for his jeans I had tried not to stare at his ass or firm thighs but my eyes had betrayed me but I smiled when I noticed several other woman checking him out as he passed.

Joe was here with me and nobody else could change that I hoped we wouldn't see Shona tonight because meeting Leon had been enough to leave a bad taste in my mouth.

I sit and wait for Joe to make a reappearance watching the crowd push near the bar because giving away free shots was a great idea I could see this night getting very messy.

Checking my phone I see I have messages both from Gina and Casey who wish me luck for tonight and tell me they want all the details tomorrow.

If anything was going to happen I wouldn't tell my friends because there would be nothing to tell this was all just pretend no real feeling were in play or at least I kept telling myself that.

I was finding it a little hard to remain focused but that was merely the alcohol playing its part in the evening not the fact that I kept checking Joe out because I did that all the time.

“What are you grinning at?” Joe questions in my ear whilst placing a small black tray in front of me on the table.

“Nothing.” I tell Joe with a small smirk deciding to ignore the line in Gina’s message where she reminded me of the sex list I had like I was going to mention it to this guy.

“Something gave you a huge grin on your face.” Joe winks at me then asks “Should I be jealous?”

“No.” I tell him with a giggle taking a shot so Joe would hopefully change the subject.

Trying to talk over the DJ who was taking requests and shouting into his mic was proving hard but then we kept on getting girls in short shorts appearing at our table to offer us free shots. 

“I can see this ending badly.” I tell Joe losing track of how many shots I have had but feeling the benefits by being super chilled out.

“To regrets!” Joe cheers attempting to knock my shot glass but misses almost dropping it on the table instead.

“Let’s go scope the crowds.” I tell Joe taking his arm feeling a lot more confident thanks to the alcohol but his words from earlier were still in my mind and I had to agree I was pretty awesome.

“I've seen several guys checking you out.” Joe points at me grinning “So I don’t think you need my help any more.” 

“I do.” I tell Joe leaning on his arm laughing “I am so clueless.”

“Let’s go and make everyone jealous then!” Joe cheers as I elbow him but miss and get the person who had been standing next to me instead.

 

I recognise the woman instantly as the redhead from earlier and I notice her staring at Joe so I put two and two together and the realisation makes me feel a little sick.

“Shona.” Joe greets the redhead who looks beautiful close up like she just walked off a cover of a magazine too perfect to even need air brushing.

“Hi Joe.” Shona purrs at him which makes him pull a funny face like this woman standing in front of him was his kryptonite but he just couldn't stay away from her.

I watch as Shona embraces Joe in a hug whilst I drop my hand from his arm seeing him tense up as they hug which I hoped meant that he was finally getting over her.

“What’s going on here?” Questions Leon as he gets patted heartily on the back by strangers in the crowd eye balling me all over again which made me feel all kinds of icky still.

I watch as Shona finally lets Joe go and he gives me a reassuring smile placing an arm around my shoulder pulling me closer this was the main event it was my turn to shine.

“This is Riley.” Joe tells Shona whose green eyes shine at me filled with confusion and I liked to think a hint of jealousy but that was probably my drunken mind talking.

The alcohol had been flowing too fast but it had matched the easy conversations between me and Joe closely followed by huge bouts of flirting which had excited me every time.

“So I've been replaced?” Shona questions like she is the last person to believe this is true I felt sorry for her for all of five seconds then I replaced my sick feeling with a huge buzz of confidence.

“I've moved on.” Joe tells her then I see Leon place a hand on Shona’s shoulder like he was trying to protect her from this blow.

I watch her eyes scan Joe’s like she is trying to figure us out I almost want to blurt out it is all fake because she gives me an unnerving look but I remain strong under the line of fire.

“So have I.” Shona laughs looking behind her at Leon who had his arms around her waist but to me it looked very much forced like away from all this things were differently between them.

My turn to move things along I lean my head onto Joe’s chest and he holds me closer whilst I secretly inhale his musky aftershave which smells so good on him.

“Have I been replaced?” Shona questions again like she still cannot believe this is happening and Leon drops his arms from around her looking mighty pissed off at the same time.

“I think so.” I state turning round to face Joe looking him right in the eye knowing that what I will do next will even out the score completely and it will in no way effect our friendship at all either.

Gently pulling on his sunglasses attached to his tee shirt Joe leans closer to me as I lift my head up and find his mouth kissing him softly at first but then he begins to apply pressure.

In the middle of the crowd in this packed bar I see stars behind my eyelids as I kiss Joe enjoying every second until I feel his tongue slide over mine and I step back.

“Gross.” Shona scoffs looking next to her to see Leon has gone from her side.

Looking back at Joe he looks as surprised as Shona grinning at me whilst raking his hair back with his hand making his mass of curls bounce back into their original place.

“Well this has been awkward.” I tell Shona walking away first and I am happy to see Joe following behind me.

 

“See I could never have bought Pete along with me.” Joe laughs as we stop a little further away from where we had been in the crowd.

“I’m a much better kisser.” I tell Joe with a grin even though I did not know that was true but right now I had a huge smile on my face.

“Yes you are.” Joe states his sexy smirk reappearing and before I know it he is kissing me again but this time with even more urgency.

“Whoa.” I pull away from Joe trying to hold him at arm’s length I remind him “This is pretend remember?”

Joe doesn't say anything to me he just turns around and I watch as he stares at Shona making me realise that things are not quite what they seem and I am just a supporting cast member.

“Go talk to her.” I shout at Joe walking through the crowd before he can stop me.

Had Joe just been using me to get back with Shona pretending that he had moved on to get me here so he could make his ex-jealous and he would go running back to her like nothing had changed.

Walking out from the bar I decide that tonight is well and truly over and all the pretending and probably fake flirting needed to be stopped immediately.

It had been so much fun chatting with Joe feeling like we were in our own little world together talking about anything and everything.

Hours had passed in the bar as I check my phone noticing the time and the fact that Gina had called me twice bet she wanted updates but that would not be happening any time soon.

“Riley wait!” Joe yells as I look back to see him standing behind me.

“Haven’t you got what you wanted?” I snap at Joe feeling really confused.

“What?” Joe shakes his head at me.

“Obviously you want Shona-“

“No I don’t.” Joe cuts me off “Things got a little heated in there I just got thrown off.”

“Trying to put your tongue down my throat.” I hit Joe on the arm with a small smile on my face.

“Yeah sorry about that.” Joe grins back looking anything but sorry which makes me laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Joe questions looking down at me.

“I need to laugh some of the awkwardness away.” I giggle.

“Why don’t I just kiss it away?” Joe asks me which causes me to snort and laugh really unattractively.

“That will never happen again-“

“I thought I was going to be your pretend boyfriend.” Joe whispers at me which makes my eyes widen.

“Is this such a good idea?” I question even though I already knew the answer in my head.

“Obviously set a few ground rules-“

“Like keep your tongue out of my mouth.” I cut him off whilst rolling my eyes.

“I am sure I heard you moan when I did that.” Joe winks at me which has the desired effect in making me blush.

“In your own fantasy world maybe.” I retort watching as Joe closes his eyes as if he has left me to go back to his own sordid daydreams.

“Do you want something to eat?” Joe asks me opening his eyes and I nod back at him.

“I think we have a lot to talk about.” I tell Joe trying to make sense of what had happened earlier.

Going to an all-night café nearby we sit at a table near a window all the while I try to not look Joe in the eye as a sudden outbreak of nerves cause me to stare stupidly at the menu re-reading the same page over again.

Deciding on a burger and fries Joe has the same but with more meat in his then after the tired looking waitress leaves us we both sit in silence.

“Shona is really beautiful.” I tell Joe then wish I could instantly take it back.

“Yeah but she has a horrible personality.” Joe retorts tracing lines of salt across the table then brushing them away with his flat palm.

“I think trouble is in paradise between her and Leon-“

“Let’s not mention them ever again.” Joe states then adds “Tonight was a terrible idea.”

“What us-“

“No.” Joe grins at me stopping me once again from speaking “The idea of promoting vodka but having scantily clad woman giving out free samples I bet they would have lost a ton tonight.”

“I did see all the dudes lining up to get free shots and possibly numbers from the hot woman.” I tell Joe with a small smile.

“Sure there were queue’s at the bar but I just saw people give up and get freebies instead.” Joe grins at me.

“It was a disaster.” I tell Joe with a nod.

“Not entirely.” Joe begins “I was with the hottest girl there.”

“Your lines don’t work on me Trohman.” I laugh at him.

“Who needs words when we have all this chemistry?” Joe grins back at me.

“I’m going to regret agreeing to this aren't I?” I quip back with a grin.

“It was your idea.” Joe tells me whilst I shake my head that was absurd.

“Well I think it will work.” Joe explains easily “Pretend to date to keep each other company and I can help you meet someone.”

“I like my own company.” I retort then state “I am not here to meet the one just to go around and try a few dishes at the buffet table.”

Joe gives me a confused look whilst I laugh at the terrible analogy Gina had told me the day I had thought my life was ruined but I was still here and with good company apparently.

“Either way.” Joe continues “It will get both our friends off of our backs if we say that we are dating I think we can pull it off.”

“But what if it all gets complicated?” I question because nothing in this life was easy.

“There will be no sex so no strings can get crossed.” Joe states just as the waitress reappears trying not to look interested whilst she obviously overheard our conversation.

“Thank you.” I sit up in my seat picking a stray fry up from my plate smiling as the waitress grins back at me.

“Unless you do want to have sex with me?” Joe questions making me roll my eyes as the waitress gives me an interested smile.

“No.” I tell Joe then add for luck “No.”

“Fine by me.” Joe looks back at the waitress who winks at him and I give her a look which makes her skulk off to behind the counter.

“Jealous are we?” Joe asks smiling at the waitress and I chuck some fries at his face.

So it was settled over food that we would tell the world that we were dating when in fact armed with Joe’s guidance he would just help me hook up until I became the sex goddess he saw me as.

“Very funny.” I tell Joe whilst rolling my eyes.

“Confidence is sexy.” Joe states “Be the goddess I know you are.”

“When does the sex part come into it?” I question making Joe chuckle.

“Soon.” Joe grins at me “Be patient my little grasshopper.”

“Please don’t turn this into a Karate Kid montage.” I groan.

“Very funny.” Joe tuts whilst he decides to throw some fries in my direction whilst I open my mouth and miss them all.

We sit and talk for ages well after our food has been eaten and the waitress tries to chuck us out because it is late and that is my cue to leave.

Joe walks me to my apartment and I fight the urge to invite him in again because I didn't want to embarrass myself seeing that he had made it pretty clear where the line was from pretend couple to friends.

Hugging him good night I rush up the stairs then turn to see he is still there looking up at me with that big stupid grin so I wave at him then head inside.

 

On Tuesday I receive a call from the agency to say that I have an interview because a family would like to meet me.

I haven’t spoken to Gina or Casey about Saturday yet because I had to get the story right in my head I did not want to tell them the exact deal with me and Joe.

Seeing the confused looks on my friends faces as I explain that we are pretending to date and everything is platonic they would think it was weird but I have decided it is what I need.

Casey has been messaging me like crazy I think because Gina is at her latest guys place it could either be Seth or Ricky I get confused if I try to keep tabs so for now at least I was safe from the questioning.

I do not know how she does it because both guys I mentioned are super-hot just like Joe but I wasn’t going to announce that out loud in a hurry seeing that he was pretty sure of himself anyway.

Sure that Casey was just going to come round at some point I agree to the interview and Nadia gives me the address which isn’t that far and I smile to myself because this could be it.

Walking down Crawford Street I like this part of town because mixed with the large town houses were cool stores like that record store I just passed to a vegan bakery a little further up.

It had style and I could see me living here one day hopefully with my own family because I did hate where I lived, sure the company was awesome but our neighbours were beyond rude.

Counting the houses along I finally reach my destination looking up at the three storey town house painted white and blue feeling way out of my depth as I push open the black wrought iron gate anyway.

Up two wooden steps and I am at a large white door with decorated glass in the windows which distracts me until I notice the front door open.

“Hello.” A woman greets me with a smile.

“Hi I’m Riley-“

“Oh thank god you are here.” The woman tugs on my tee shirt and helps me inside her house noticing the worn out look on her face.

“Am I too early for the interview?” I question seeing the smile appear on the woman’s face.

“I’m Mrs King call me Demi and by the way you are hired.” 

“Already?” I ask gob smacked this was the quickest I had ever got a job in the history of ever.

“I spoke to Nadia and I know this is your first job with the agency but we are desperate for help.” Demi states whilst she ushers me to follow her down the bare wood floor hallway to the large kitchen.

“I do need work.” I tell her honestly then think I have said too much as the woman turns round and gives me a look like she is trying to figure me out.

“We need someone who is fun and won’t bore our kids to death.” Demi smiles back at me moving her long caramel coloured hair to drape over her left shoulder.

“I can do that I-“

“Nadia recommended you to us because you studied art at college and we would like you to teach our kids how to expression with art.” Demi tells me.

“Sounds fun.” I nod waiting for the catch because this sounded too easy.

“We have had a lot of trouble in the past with other nannies because they have either never shown our kids much attention or voiced about how we raise them.” Demi tells me mysteriously whilst I wait for the punchline.

“I own a flower shop just a little further along the street whilst my husband works hard in a PR firm back in the centre of town.” Demi smiles at me and I cannot help but notice the pride in her voice whilst she speaks.

“Busy lives then.” I nod.

“Extremely we provide for our children but you can help out in the afternoons at first then maybe a few early mornings?” Demi asks me.

“I can do mornings.” I joke “I like to run most days.”

“No boyfriend dragging you back to bed then?” Demi jokes and I shake my head ignoring the blush creeping over my face.

“No.” I tell her with a small smile.

“Oh to be in my late twenties again.” Demi grins nostalgically then adds “The best time of my life.”

“So what am I doing wrong?” I question.

“You need to find yourself a boyfriend.” Demi winks at me “But first let’s talk about my darling kids and when you can start.”

So I spend almost two hours not thinking about my friends or even Joe focusing on getting to know Demi and her two kids Zoe who was six and Harley who was eight.

I leave knowing that I hoped to enjoy this job seeing that right now it was all that I had and I was going to put one hundred and ten per cent into it.

This was great news to tell my friends and even my aunt Lilly because the attention that I just knew there would be on me and Joe could be brushed to one side until it all made sense


	11. No Strings

..............................................................................................................................................................................................................  
Deciding to pick up some groceries at the local Food Links store because it had been four days since I had seen Gina and I could not afford to order take away any more.

Of course I spy Will in his light blue suit especially when I look a state seeing that I just got changed after a run heading straight out in the hope that I wouldn't see anyone.

Wearing a grey vest and blue denim shorts which were covered in paint splats and probably around six years old at least I tried to duck when I notice that Gabi is with him.

All smiles and curly red hair falling loosely around her shoulders dents my confidence because she looks really pretty and I feel like something stuck on the bottom of her heel.

I only needed a few more items and if I worked this out strategically I could avoid bumping into them because I felt off my game unlike the time I had seen them in the park.

Head down I continue to walk along the fresh food aisle grabbing a bag of peaches like I wasn’t checking behind me every few seconds in case they appeared in my line of vision.

Going left I walk down the frozen food aisle blindly picking up a couple of frozen meals which I could enjoy courtesy of the microwave because it was a hassle cooking for one person.

Finally near the checkout area and all I had left to do was pay for my food then escape possibly going to another Food links that was a little further away than this one next time?

“Honey isn’t that Riley?” I hear a female voice question whilst I was standing in the queue so close yet so far to the exit I stupidly turn around to see Gabi grinning at me.

“Hello!” I shout over enthusiastically because I hated awkward situations and this could not become a whole thing me constantly bumping into my ex and his fiancé no way.

“How is everything?” Will asks me whilst looking at Gabi who looked immaculate in a white and red striped shirt dress.

“Fine.” I explain quickly wishing the person in front of me would hurry the hell up so I could get served next.

“Are you working yet?” Will questions hitting me with every cheap shot that he could.

“I am actually.” I tell him with a smile adding “I am becoming a nanny again.”

“I didn't know you used to be a nanny.” Will gives me a funny look like I am a stranger in front of him and it is true because I do actually feel like one right now.

“Have you been painting?” Gabi questions pointing at my shorts just in case I didn't understand what she was talking about.

“No these are old.” I tell her with a shrug I state “I've just popped out to get a few things.”

“I remember how bad a cook you were.” Will smirks at me looking at the metal basket in my right hand.

“It is so hard to cook just for one person.” Gabi nods at me.

“I have found someone actually.” I blurt out before I think about it and see Will’s eyes raise up like he looks shocked.

“That guy from the park?” Gabi questions and I shake my head desperately wanting to back track what I had just said but instead I just make it worse.

“Is he even real?” Will asks me and I fail not to hear the sarcasm in his voice.

“Yes he is a bartender and his name is Joe.” I state ignoring the voice in my head telling me that I have said way too much.

“Well in that case you must both come to our engagement party when we have it.” Gabi smiles whilst giving me a challenging look.

“Sure we can go.” I state then finally seeing it is my turn I begin to pack my items as quickly as I can waving goodbye to Will and Gabi seeing them float off on a cloud of smug.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Shit, shit, shit! Why had I told them about Joe? Why had I agreed to go to their stupid engagement party? Oh god I was in trouble.

I guess I would have to beg and plead with Joe to come along with me to the engagement party because if I didn't go it would mean that I have lost.

Or even worse if Joe said no then I would have to either go alone or get somebody to pretend to be Joe I wonder if Pete would help me?

But then I smile to myself when I remember that technically we are in fact fake dating so he would have to come along with me or he wouldn't hear the last of it.

Dropping the grocery bags onto the couch I walk through to the kitchen seeing both Gina and Casey sitting at the wooden table in the middle of the room.

“Please take a seat.” Casey motions pulling the chair next to her away from the table.

“We have been expecting you.” Gina states in her best villainous voice which was pretty terrible.

“Where the hell have you been?” I aim this question at Gina who hushes me.

“We will ask the questions.” Gina retorts slamming her hand on the table.

“Let’s hear it then.” Casey states attempting to give me a hard stare but cracks up halfway.

“About what-“

“What happened on Saturday?” Gina shouts and I break out into a nervous smile.

I then give them the briefest outline that I can of the events that took place just mentioning how much we flirted and that Joe had walked me back here.

Just for a little longer maybe till after this engagement party me and Joe could hold up this pretence of us "seeing" one another because I was bound to meet someone else wasn’t I?

Hell Joe had even said that night several guys had been checking me out plus he had enjoyed kissing me because he had even tried to do it again soon after saying he had been caught up in the moment.

“You are lying.” Gina state snapping me out from my thoughts.

“I am not-“

“Please.” Casey rolls her eyes at me “We can tell when you are lying.”

“I kissed Joe.” I tell them because I was never good at keeping secrets from my friends and I was sure that I did need their input right now seeing how conflicted I felt about everything.

“Like you initiated the kiss?” Questions Gina with a huge grin on her face.

I nod then re-tell them how I had literally bumped into Joe’s ex and how she had reacted seeing me still not believing that he had moved on from her.

“Someone sounds like they haven’t gotten over Joe yet.” Casey pulls a face and I nod.

“So you basically told her to back off by kissing Joe in front of her.” Gina wiped an imaginary tear from her cheek and added “I have taught you so well.

“You would have been proud.” I roll my eyes sardonically at Gina.

“Did Joe try it on after that?” Casey questions then states “You made the first move you see so the ball is now in his court.”

“It isn’t like that.” I begin.

“Don’t tell me you guys are just friends-“

“It wasn’t a date!” I blurt out making my friends look at me.

“But you said-“

“I just owed Joe a favour after he took me to get you that night Dillon was being a dick but you met someone else even before we got there.” I state shaking my head.

“So he did use you.” Gina snaps.

“No!” I retort back “I knew what I was getting into.”

“Which was what?” Casey questions.

“If I tell you.” I begin giving both my friends a look “This stays between us.”

“Sure.” Gina states and Casey nods her consent.

“We are pretending to see one another.” I state then look at Gina who begins to laugh loudly.

“Bullshit.” Casey grins at me “I've seen the way Joe looks at you.”

“So why are you guys pretending?” Gina questions in between laughter.

“To get you guys off my back and Joe can play pretend plus give me advice and it is all just a bit of fun.” I tell them simply.

“But what benefits do you get?” Gina asks winking at me.

“No sex so no strings can get attached.” I tell them firmly repeating what Joe had said.

“That won’t last.” Casey laughs at my face.

“You are wrong.” I tell them “This is only for a few months until after the wedding and then I can meet someone.”

“But you've met Joe.” Gina states simply.

“It isn’t like that-“

“I don’t want to see you get hurt.” Casey places a hand on my arm.

“I can’t.” I tell them firmly and add “It is all fake.”

“You just keep telling yourself that.” Gina grins at me but adds “I can’t believe you turned down sex with Joe.”

“It wasn’t even on the table.” I roll my eyes at my friend.

“Why the hell not.” Casey retorts.

“The dude is hot.” Gina tells me like I hadn't already noticed.

“It’s just a little fun.” I repeat with a whine in my voice.

“He would be perfect for your sex list.” Gina smiles then asks “Does he know about that yet?”

“No!” I snap telling them that he never will because there was no way I was going to chuck myself at Joe when he had made it clear where we both were in this.

“In other news.” I tell my friends with a smile “I have a job.”

Explaining how I wanted to be a nanny again my friend are so proud for me and I agree even though I am a little nervous at meeting the kids over the weekend.

“Let’s go out Saturday night?” Questions Casey.

“It has been a while.” Gina smiles “We can help you meet someone?”

“I've met Joe remember.” I dead pan making Gina shake her head at me.

“Meet someone to have sex with.” Gina retorts with a smirk.

“Joe must really like you agree to something as stupid as this.” Casey tells me “Even if he isn’t getting any from you.”

“Do you guys want me to just throw myself at him?” I question raising my voice in frustration.

“Yes!” Gina cheers “He would have you in a heartbeat.”

“I agree.” Casey grins then adds “You guys have chemistry.”

“I think you guys need to finish what you started at college.” Gina states.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

It takes me a few seconds to catch up with what Gina was getting at and I shake my head violently stating “I thought he was Hunter remember I didn’t know it was actually Joe.”

“But he knew it was you.” Casey smirks at me “I think he is still waiting for you.”

“Want to bet?” I scoff then instantly regret it when I see my friends faces light up. 

“I can never decline a bet.” Gina cheers gleefully.

“It was a figure of speech I am not-“

“I give you two days.” Casey laughs whilst cutting me off she states “Joe won’t be able to resist.”

“No way.” I retort.

“I say two weeks.” Gina nods at me.

“So not going to happen.” I sing song with a smirk on my face.

“When it does happen you have to tell us.” Casey states.

“Never.” I scoff.

“Joe’s waited this long.” Gina jokes looking at Casey she adds “What is two more weeks?” 

“Oh god.” I groan rubbing my hands over my face in frustration.

“That’s what you will be saying!” Laughs Casey whilst I glare at her.

“I bumped into Will again earlier with his fiancé Gabi stuck to his side like glue.” I tell my friends.

“Did you talk to them?” Gina questions and I nod.

“I told them I was seeing a guy named Joe.” I close my eyes hearing the noises my friends were making from my admission which I still regretted.

“Well it’s half true.” Casey begins with a grin “You do see a lot of each other.”

“They want me to go to their engagement party and Joe is invited too.” I shake my head unsure how I had gotten into this mess and it surely couldn’t get any worse.

“I bet Joe looks hot dressed up the top few buttons of his shirt undone-“

“Calm down Gina.” I giggle at my friend not mentioning that I have had the same thoughts about my pretend date.

“Just be careful.” Casey tells me and I nod back.

“It is fine.” I state “I have it all under control.”

“But does Joe?” Questions Gina wiggling her eyebrows at me with a cheeky smirk on her lips.

On Thursday I receive a call from my mum which I had no way been prepared for and as a result I learn that she is coming to visit tomorrow.

I am to meet her for a drink in the early evening before my mum and Lilly head off into the night going to watch a performance at the Valencia theatre apparently.

Surely it must be illegal for both of them to have a better social life than me but it was good to see even though I was a little jealous.

Maybe with Joe by my side I would have a fun this summer even if it did mean that we both kept our clothes on around one another which was a given.

Joe could even be my wing man and guide me into the arms of some other guy who would let me strip off naked in front of him because I could see it becoming a problem otherwise.

I had felt the close contact of skin on skin and it was something that I could not live without and seeing that I wasn’t getting any made me want it even more.

But that was a work in progress I would meet a guy get to know him in and out of the bedroom then throw the sex list onto him letting the real fun begin.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Calling Lilly I get hold of her on my third attempt when she finally answers sounding flustered.

“Why didn't you tell me that my mum was coming to town?” I ask her down the phone.

“Hi Riley.” Lilly begins then tells me “Clara and I have plans.” 

“Mum wants me to meet her for a drink first.” I groan then add “It will be good to see her but I just know she is going to talk about Will all the while.”

“Tell Clara about Joe then. “ Lilly laughs down the line at me.

“What about him?” I question sounding very defensive all of a sudden even to my own ears.

“Are you not telling me something?” Lilly asks and I know then that I have fallen into her trap.

“No I am not.” I snap then sighing I state “If I tell mum about Joe she will get the wrong idea like everyone else because we are just friends.”

“But Casey told me you two went on a date?” Lilly questions making me grit my teeth.

“As friends.” I tell her firmly because there was no way I was going to explain my agreement with Joe to my aunt.

“Ok calm down.” Lilly laughs at me again.

“I am calm!” I shout clearly feeling the opposite I add “Everyone is jumping to conclusions.”

“We just worry about you.” Lilly tells me seriously.

What did they all think that I was going to fall in love with Joe or something? 

If that was the case why would it not be the other way round? 

“I am good.” I state clearing my thoughts “Please stop worrying.”

“Are you free for the rest of Friday night?” My aunt asks me.

“I am not going out with you guys-“

“You are not invited.” Lilly chuckles at me “But you should arrange something and not be stuck indoors on a Friday night.” 

“I will.” I lie because I had no real social life and anyway I was going out on Saturday with Gina and Casey which I hoped was going to be a good night.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Soon saying goodbye I hang up and remember to have a few words with Casey because she was such a gossip and my mum would have a field day meeting Joe which was never going to happen.

The next evening I am due to meet my mum at a wine bar called Rouge and I decide to put on one of my favourite outfits because I was ordered to dress up.

Even though I knew my mum would hate said outfit seeing that it has been a wardrobe staple for a long time which makes me want to wear it even more.

My mum saw everyone through their outfits she always told me it made her see the real person not what they just told you about themselves she apparently had a good read on people.

I was not sold I just saw it as my mum being super critical of people even though she was a real people person whereas I liked to be on the side-lines just observing.

Placing my hair into a bun on top of my head I frame my face with some strands of hair then spend a little while staring at myself intently.

Turning around to see my reflection in the full length mirror which was behind Gina’s bedroom door I smiled to myself feeling good.

I had found this vintage grey Jim Beam tee shirt about five years ago back in Colby at a thrift store and tucking it into my black body con skirt completed my outfit.

The sleeves were rolled up messily and several holes were apparent but that just added to the coolness because this tee always had a way of making me feel awesome.

Letting the tee shirt hang a little loose I add my favourite black lace up boots and I only had to try and locate my cropped denim jacket then it was time.

This whole outfit had a way of cheering me up because I felt both confident and cute in it if I could wear it every day for a year then I totally would.

Back in my bedroom I find my jacket hiding under one of my hoodies hanging in the closet and shrugging it on I mentally tell myself I am ready.

As well as feeling nervous for tomorrow when I was due to meet Demi’s kids Harley and Zoe for the first time I just knew that my mum would be asking me many an unwanted question this evening.

I could talk to my mum about absolutely anything the only problem was that I rarely did it was the other way round instead.

Like that time my mum once began talking to me randomly about the bikini wax she had before going away in the middle of a phone conversation.

Mum liked to go on short holidays at resorts which favoured adult’s only spending long days by the pool followed by long nights at the local bar.

It wasn’t like I did not believe in love or marriage but I did see myself wanting to settle down with someone in the future.

My parents’ marriage was purely based on the fact that they had me even though they were not ready to become a family yet they had and that was both their biggest regret.

In my early twenties I had disliked them both so much because at that time I had felt the same way about everything so their situation was no different.

Now I can see that they are much better off apart than sticking together playing happy families but none of that scares me really I just hate the idea of being forever alone.

Being an only child wasn’t fun I had longed for a sibling for years and so one day I would love to have my own little family but right now all I needed was to just meet a few guys.

Gain some new experiences and then meet the one by exchanging glances across a busy room which was something you just saw in films and definitely not real life.

Pushing open the red doors to Rouge I had made it in good time for once which was a first and should impress my mum because she was used to me always being late.

It was a curse to be so laid back when it came to time because I just found it hard to balance my life into different hour slots mainly due to the fact that I procrastinated too much.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

The inside of Rouge was your typical fancy looking wine bar with red leather booths, small wooden tables and shelves of empty wine bottles on the walls.

It was quite busy for a Friday evening and I scan the large room to look for my mum then head out to the back where on the patio blue metal tables and chairs are all filled with people.

Not that it was hard to miss my mum because she was loud and usually outfitted in bright coloured outfits yet right now I could not see her anywhere.

It was unlikely that I had beaten her here so walking back inside I do another circuit around the tables until I recognise a high pitched laugh and turn round.

My mum was sitting at a table alone talking to two guys across from her both in identical work attire one of them was raising his beer bottle to her.

“Riley!” Mum cheers when she spots me and with a small smile I walk over.

“Hello mum.” I state leaning down to kiss her on the cheek.

“You ignored me when I told you to dress up.” Mum tells me as I notice her looking at my outfit with disdain in her eyes.

“I have always disagreed with you when it comes to fashion.” I retort back with a smirk seeing that my mum was wearing a leopard print twin set and a huge amber necklace.

“That I can agree with.” Mum smiles and I notice the two guys unashamedly checking me out whilst I sit down at an empty chair crossing my legs.

This improves my mood for all of ten seconds until my mum pours me a large glass of white wine and pushes it next to me.

“I like the talent in this bar.” Mum states sounding exactly like Gina which makes me cringe inwardly.

“Please stop.” I roll my eyes whilst my mum tuts at me.

“What is wrong?” Mum questions then tells me “I can put a good word in for you?”

“No.” I snap feeling annoyed because I haven’t even been here that long and already my mum was trying to set me up.

“Calm down.” Mum pats my hand then adds “I want this to be fun being in Greendale for the weekend.”

“All weekend?” I splutter into the wine glass shocked.

“Yes.” Mum looks at me with a smile “I am staying with Lilly getting a feel for the town.”

“Lilly did say you was going to see a show?” I ask trying to sound interested.

“Yes it’s going to be exciting.” Mum winks at me.

“What is it you are seeing exactly?” I question whilst holding my wine glass.

“It is just a musical of Dirty Dancing.” Mum tells me with a huge smile.

“Sounds good.” I smirk back.

“What are you up to?” Mum questions picking up her wine glass.

“I have plans.” I tell my mum stupidly.

“Have you got a date or something?” Mum claps her hands excitedly whilst I look to see this is the second bottle of wine on the table.

“No I am just busy.” I mumble feeling like an idiot for mentioning it.

“You need to get out there.” Mum laughs at the face I pull.

“I have been told that so much recently.” I dead pan then add “It is a work in progress.”

“What you need to do is forget Will and move on.” Mum tells me straight.

“I've moved on from Will-“

“Is there another guy?” Mum questions cutting me off mid-sentence.

I was not going to fall for that line again so I shake my head.

“No I would tell you if there was.” I explain with a small smile.

“That guy next to us keeps eyeing you up.” My mum states loudly making the guy in question look up and grin at me.

“Could you have said that any louder?” I stand up feeling totally embarrassed walking away from the table heading towards the restroom so I could hide for the rest of the night.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Checking my make up I count to ten in my head because I did not want to argue with my mum or anyone really for that matter about my lack of attention from the opposite sex.

There was a million and one other things that I could talk about with mum so after a few more moments of staring into space I decide to head back to the table.

“Hey there.” The guy who was sat next to us grins at me standing near the bar.

“Hi.” I smile back shyly.

“Did I hear that you haven’t got a date tonight?” The guy questions looking shocked.

“It’s rude to eavesdrop.” I smirk back at the guy who chuckles at me.

“So are you free?” The guy questions again.

I look to see him wink at me re adjusting his black framed glasses on his face making me smile.

“Maybe.” I grin back.

“We've got to roll out!” Shouts the guy’s friend who appears by my side making me jump.

“I’m talking here-“

“Don’t forget where we are going next.” The guy cheers and the one who had been talking to me shrugs his shoulders then he is literally gone.

“Come find me.” The guy who had been chatting me up yells as he turns his head and I watch the two suits walk off into the night leaving me shaking my head.

Sitting back down next to my mum I take a large gulp of my drink and check my phone wondering if I would ever see that guy again but then did I even care.

“So what were we talking about?” My mum questions.

“Anything besides my love life.” I retort with a grin.

“You are much better off without Will.” Mum tells me again and I nod.

“I agree.” I state then add “I like being single.”

“Let’s drink to that.” Mum grins at me pouring some more wine into my glass.

Lilly and mum were not due to meet for another hour so I decided to stay and help mum drink all the wine at the table.

But this was only on the condition that my supposed love life was off the table and instead I spoke to mum about my new job instead.

Finally she was happy for me and we chatted for a while until talk soon turned to dating sites and I did not want to hear about any of the messages mum had been getting from them.

“Told me to send him nude photos-“

“I hope you didn't!” I cut my mum off shaking my head furiously.

“Of course not.” Mum tuts at me then adds “I would rather like to meet someone in real life instead of on the internet.”

If that was the case then why the hell was my mum using dating sites I was sure she didn't even know how to use her email properly let alone sign up for things on-line.

“Like that guy.” Mum tells me her voice practically purring at me.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

I was too scared to look up so instead I nod my head checking my phone in my hand to see if anyone had messaged me because after this I had absolutely no plans whatsoever.

“Riley.” Mum nudges my right arm making me drop my phone onto the floor whilst I push my chair away from the table and try to grab it.

“He’s coming over.” I hear my mum yell at me as I lean back up and proceed to hit the back of my head on the stupid table.

Sitting back up I have to blink twice when I see Joe walking over wearing a dark grey tee shirt and tight black jeans his hair as curly as ever.

What the hell was he doing here?

“Hey Riley.” Joe smiles at me all the while my mum is gasping loudly.

“Who is this?” Mum questions giving me a wide eyed look.

I see my mum grin up at Joe who does look mighty fine standing there brushing some hair behind one of his ears.

“What are you doing here?” I snap feeling my face go red because I hadn't wanted Joe to meet my mum just yet.

“Don’t be rude.” Mum tells me smiling at Joe who is grinning.

“Lilly told me you was here.” Joe explains then goes on to tell my mum who he is and that he is a bartender at Upside Down.

“Ah so you are Joe.” Mum smiles knowingly whilst winking at me.

“Has Riley told you all about me?” Joe questions.

“No she hasn't.” Mum taps me on the arm playfully “But Lilly has spoken about you non-stop!”

I knew it! 

“Well we better get going.” Joe takes my mum’s hand telling her it was great to meet her which cannot be true.

“So you do have a date!” Mum yells happily at me as I watch Joe move to behind my chair lifting my denim jacket then holding it up for me to put on.

“First date.” Joe smiles at my mum who claps her hands excitedly.

“Well have fun you two.” Mum smiles at me calling over someone to settle the bill.

“We will.” Joe tells my mum and I suddenly feel bad for lying because none of this was real.

I jump when I feel Joe’s hand on my lower back gently pushing me forward as I wave goodbye to my mum and then we are both outside.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

“Ok what are you up to?” I question turning round to face Joe outside the wine bar.

“Lilly told me you needed saving.” Joe grins at me which completely throws me off.

“So you turned up here and told my mum that we was going on a date!” I yelled feeling my face flush red because this was not how I had wanted this to play out.

“I improvised.” Joe holds up his hands in defence.

“Well thanks for saving me I guess.” I smile then add “I need to head back home.”

“Why the rush?” Joe questions talking a step closer to me.

“I have a job working as a nanny.” I tell Joe with a smile.

“That’s great!” Joe leans forward and before I know it he has embraced me into a hug.

“Thanks I am going to meet the kids tomorrow.” I explain to Joe who has let me go finally.

“Sounds fun.” Joe nods at me.

“I cannot wait it is about time things start to go right for me.” I explain with a grin.

“Well you need to celebrate!” Joe smirks at me “I have plans but come and join me tonight?”

I don’t mention that I am going out tomorrow night but find myself agreeing to spending time with Joe who is rewarding me with one of his patented sexy smiles.

“So where are we going?” I ask Joe when we fall in step walking away from the wine bar.

“Crawford Street.” Joe tells me with a grin.

“Ah that is where the family I will be working for live.” 

“It’s a cool neighbourhood.” Joe nods at me.

“So this is our second date then?” I ask Joe who laughs.

“Well we need to start letting people know something is going on between us.” Joe smiles at me.

“Is there?” I grin back.

“If I play my cards right.” Joe tells me placing an arm around my shoulder pulling me closer to him as I try to bat him away.

“That’s what you think.” I snort back.

“Wait and see I can show you a good time.” Joe winks at me and that has the desired effect to make my cheeks flush.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Flirting continues between us as we continue to walk and it is both fun and good practice for me until Joe suddenly stops outside the record store I had passed the other day.

Death Valley records stared back at me as I take in the small white building which looked like it had been a laundromat long before it was this place.

A large window front had classic vinyl from every genre of music you could imagine stuck to the window with instruments set up on show framed by a pair of black curtains.

“It looks closed.” I tell Joe who I notice is watching me.

“You need to know the secret knock to get in.” Joe grins at me moving towards the door knocking on it firmly.

I had no idea why we was here outside the record store but it was better than going back home pretending to have plans because I liked to be spontaneous sometimes.

“Why are we here?” I question watching Joe knock again on the black wooden framed door which was covered in band flyers, stickers and skateboard decals.

“It’s a surprise.” Joe tells me with a massive grin.

“Joe!” I hear a male voice state as the store door is unlocked to reveal a guy the same height as me wearing a black trilby and a friendly smile.

“Hey dude.” I watch as Joe and the guy exchange pats on the back then both of them look at me.

“This is Riley.” Joe tells the guy then smiling at me and adds “This is Patrick.”

“Hey.” I smile awkwardly whilst the guy grins widely at me.

“I haven’t been introduced to one of Joe’s girlfriends in a while.” Patrick laughs at the face I must pull.

“You suck.” Joe tells Patrick whilst taking my hand and guiding me inside the store passed his friend who is still chuckling.

The place looks a lot bigger on the inside with rows of wooden stands with metal shelves all packed with cds, vinyl and even cassettes. 

Guitars of different sizes and colours hung high on the walls alongside vintage gig posters and it looked like somewhere I could snoop around in for hours.

I preferred independent stores instead of large corporate ones which sold the top one hundred they had more in them and a lot more soul.

“Look who it is!” I hear Pete yell at the same time I realise Joe is still holding my hand with no rush to loosen his grip.

“Hey Pete. “ I smirk as he clocks me and Joe standing close to one another.

“Is this a date?” Pete questions pointing to our hands and sadly Joe lets go of mine.

“Second one.” Joe smiles as the lie is set in motion and I see Pete’s shocked face at the reveal.

“Has he finally told you?” Pete asks me still looking surprised that I am even here.

“Andy!” Joe yells as I wonder what it was Pete meant by that loaded question.

“What do you mean?” I ask Pete whilst Joe is waving his hands above his head urgently trying to get the attention of whoever Andy was.

“Pete’s just messing about.” Joe tells me flippantly.

“Joe needs to tell you not me.” Pete states with a grin then adds “I knew you two would totally hook up eventually-“

“We haven’t!” Both I and Joe snap at the same time which makes Pete laugh loudly.

“Hey!” Joe looks up as someone else joins the circle and he is introduced as Andy who waves a hand at me after it is explained who I am.

“So you’re Riley.” Andy states whilst looking me up and down.

“We knew Riley at college.” Pete grins then points at Joe “This guy here had the hugest boner for her!”

“Pete!” Groans Patrick rolling his eyes at me as if he senses my apparent discomfort whilst I look to the floor feeling embarrassed.

“Way to ruin the mood.” Joe practically snarls at Pete walking over he grabs him into a head lock and the pair walk off to the back of the store arguing.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

So I am left with Patrick and Andy grinning at me whilst I am trying to think of something to use as a conversation opener.

“Have you ever been here before?” Andy asks me and I shake my head.

“Well we co own this place.” Patrick steps forward nudging Andy.

“It’s really cool.” I nod truly meaning it.

“I like her already.” Andy smiles at me.

“We let Joe’s band rehearse here when they can be bothered.” Patrick explains.

“Joe’s in a band?” I ask confused because I had no idea.

“Of course!” Andy smiles “Joe is all about the music.”

This makes me think of all the mix tapes I still had courtesy of him in my bedroom and all the different bands Joe had introduced me to.

“I know.” I smirk back then explain “Joe used to make me mix tapes back in college.” 

“So you've known Joe for a while then?” Patrick questions.

“Since college.” I state then add “But I just knew of Pete and Joe because they were friends with a guy named Hunter.”

“And now Joe works at your aunt’s bar?” Andy asks me.

“Yeah that is how I met him again.” I tell him not wanting to explain any further about the past.

“And now you are dating.” Patrick states wiggling his eyebrows at me whilst poking the tip of his tongue out at the same time.

“Leave her alone.” Joe reappears just in time before the questions got even more personal and I was not prepared for that just yet.

“Riley didn't know you was in a band.” Andy tells Joe shaking his head in disbelief.

“That was why I bought her along here to show her what I do outside of work.” Joe winks at me as he guides me away from Andy and Patrick leading me to the back of the store.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Through a set of brown double doors we pass a tiny kitchen then head right into another room which was the rehearsal space seeing that it had instruments in there and grey sound proofing foam on the walls.

The room has low lighting with red and green bulbs in the ceiling and I notice two other guys’ one sitting on the floor fiddling with a bunch of long black cables and the other waving a mic around high above his head.

“Hey there.” The guy with the cables grins at me as I look down to see him staring up at me.

“Guys, this is Riley.” Joe introduces me and the guy on the floor yells his name is Jordan and that he is surprised to meet me.

“It’s a second date.” Pete nudges me as he appears in the room handing me a beer whilst I mumble my thanks.

“You bought your date to band practice?” The other guy Keith questions looking at me incredulously as he walks over.

“What is wrong with this place being a venue for a date?” Patrick asks with a smirk.

“I’m already having fun.” I smile back at Patrick who nods appreciatively.

“Just wait to you hear us play.” Keith grins at me “Blow you the fuck away.”

I take a seat in a large grey couch crossing my legs over trying not to notice Keith checking me out.

“Is this better than heading home then?” Joe questions as he sits down next to me taking up so much room.

“I guess.” I smirk back making Joe’s eyes widen.

“This is a second date you should be having the time of your life.” Joe laughs at me shocked face I pull then follow it with a well-timed eye roll.

“So what are you two talking about?” Pete asks slumping down in the seat next to Joe who was trying to push him off.

“Leave them alone.” Patrick warns Pete who in return flips him the finger.

“Are you in the band?” I ask Pete who shakes his head.

“I live in the apartment upstairs-“

“I thought you lived at mine rent free.” Cuts in Joe smartly.

“I have many places I like to invite girls back to.” Pete winks at me as I shake my head.

“Like that happens often.” Jokes Keith who has his hair in a messy low bun and I notice all the tattoos on his arms as he pushes up his checked shirt sleeves.

“Dude I can score.” Pete waves a hand flippantly then points at Joe “Unlike this guy.”

“That is crap!” Joe yells back shaking his head firmly.

“Remember that redhead from Delaney’s?” Jordan questions as he stands up from the floor brushing his hands onto his cut off jeans shorts which stopped at is knees.

“Oh she was hot.” Andy yells from across the room as he sits on the drum throne behind the kit waving a drum stick in the air.

“Or the brunette from that club?” Keith claps his hands happily.

“It appears Joe has a thing for brunettes.” Patrick nods at me because it seemed like for a good few moments I had been forgotten about.

“This one in particular.” Pete jokes pointing at me as if his statement couldn't be any more obvious.

I sneak a look at Joe who is hiding however he feels right now pretty well and I watch him as he stands next to Patrick and they begin to talk.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

“So what is really going on here?” Pete asks me with a glint in his eye.

“Joe invited me out we are taking it-“

“Slow sure.” Pete laughs whilst cutting me off he adds “I just cannot believe it is happening now.”

“Joe didn't really know I existed at college.” I tell Pete who in return gives me an incredulous look like I was on another planet or something.

“The guy was there for you the whole time.” Pete states “Unlike other guys I won’t mention.”

“Please don’t.” I whine not wanting to bring the past back up in a hurry.

“I guess you are seeing him in a different light now.” Pete grins at me then asks me “Why did it take you so long?”

That question confuses me momentarily as I wonder where the lies and truth crossed over was Pete just winding me up or did Joe actually used to like me at college?

I recall my friends saying that Joe was holding a torch for me but I would never believe them because it sounded like the guy hooked up often.

“Is he annoying you?” Joe questions and I smirk back shaken from my thoughts.

“I am just shocked.” Pete sits back on the couch then adds “This is finally happening.”

“Believe it.” I tell Pete enjoying the look he gives me followed by the side smirk on his face.

“Let’s actually rehearse here guys.” Keith yells then adds “We have an audience of three here to impress.”

Joe places a hand on my shoulder and I look up at him with a smile watching his face erupt into a dorky grin then he heads over to the others.

Patrick comes and sits on my left whilst Pete is shaking his head at me whilst opening another can of beer in the process.

“These guys rock.” Patrick tells me as I look away from the idiotic faces Pete was making at me.

I then watch as Joe bends down next to a stack of three Orange amps on top of one another and I notice not for the first time how broad his shoulders are and how lean his back is.

“You are drooling.” Pete nudges me whilst laughing.

“Shut up Pete.” I nudge him back trying to regain my cool.

I listen as Patrick talks to me above the noise of the band who are tuning their instruments and downing beer like it will soon go out of style.

“These guys are called Twin Skeletons.” Patrick explains to me “They have been playing together for a while now and they sound pretty good live.”

My eyes I realise are still on Joe as he has stood up again and is holding his guitar I notice his long fingers as he strums the strings trying to get comfortable with the sound.

I learn through Patrick that Keith and Jordan are brothers as I watch the band play laughing in between songs and looking like they are having fun and I look away suddenly when I see Joe staring back at me.

Andy isn’t exclusively a drummer for Twin Skeletons either he plays for several local bands he is apparently highly in demand thanks to the success of the record store.

I find it easy chatting to Patrick ignoring the odd sarcastic comment from Pete taking the beer from his hand quickly whenever he passed one over to me.

Pretty soon I am relaxed and enjoying the conversation between the guys wishing briefly that Gina was here but then dismissing idea as I liked to be the centre of attention for once.

It wasn’t often the case when it came to guys if my friend was with me then I would not even get a look in but I secretly liked the idea that Joe was all about me right now.

Even though that was far from the truth and I could see past Pete’s attempts at getting to me because I was used to him being a wind up and we both knew there were no strings attached.

I was here with Joe having fun primarily but I was also present to act like this was an actual date which was a decent one even though it involved being here watching the guys and drinking beer.

In fact it was a lot better than meeting Lance on that blind date which still made me shudder whenever I thought about it.

“So how do you two know one another?” Slurs Keith an hour or so and many beers later.

“They met at college dude!” Groans Jordan from the floor still glued to his phone which kept making beeping noises every few minutes to signal he was receiving messages.

It appeared that rehearsal was over the guys really did sound good and I could not take my eyes off Joe watching him play guitar lost in his own little world.

“And you are only hooking up now!” Yells Keith sounding shocked.

“Yes!” Shouts back Joe obviously getting annoyed.

“So you two are having sex then?” Pete questions as I give Joe a look.

“Guys.” Joe states “You are ruining my chances here.” 

“You have a decent track record of getting into girls panties pretty quick.” Keith states with a laugh.

“I have my ways.” Joe smirks at me making me roll my eyes and just hope that it is the beer talking because there was a hell of a lot of testosterone in this room right now.

“I am still here you know.” I retort just in case they had all forgotten.

“Joe’s waited this long for you.” Pete dead pans then ducks when I notice an empty beer can flying straight towards him.

“Cut it out.” Joe warns Pete picking up another beer can.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

This was getting a bit weird because it appeared that all the guys had heard of me and Pete was really on a mission to successfully wind up Joe. 

I was sure Joe hadn't told them about our little set up seeing that it sounded like the guy had a reputation but with those eyes and sexy ass could he be blamed.

Yeah I have spent far too long staring at Joe probably this evening but I could always use the beer as an excuse or tell him that I was a pretty good actress playing my part well.

Alcohol was a tempting aphrodisiac which made me feel all hot and bothered and borderline horny which not good because I was in a room full of guys.

Standing up from the couch I clumsily take off my denim jacket then announce to no one in particular that I am heading outside for some air.

Walking passed the kitchen I go out into a courtyard which was occupied by several metal tables and upturned crates.

A couple of large trees stood at the back next to what looked like a wooden shed which had a well-used barbecue grill next to it.

The air felt warm making my bare skin feel even clammier as I circle around the courtyard taking in the large stoop then noticing the windows were open in the rehearsal room.

Crossing my arms I sit down on a blue plastic crate which once housed beers then look back towards the windows where I hear loud laughing reaching a climatic end.

Someone then begins to bang on the cymbals on the drum kit and I can soon hear Andy yelling followed by more childish laughter that makes me smile.

Swiping my phone screen I bring it to life seeing I have a message from Gina which I quickly read then with a smirk I send one back.

“Am one beer away from sitting on Joe’s lap and I really want to”

I can hear the guys talking animatedly right now so I decide to sit here for a little while longer placing my phone in my lap I look up to the dark night sky.

“Riley’s pretty cool.” I hear Patrick state when the others have stopped shouting at one another.

“Sure is.” Joe replies which makes me smile and feel something deep in my stomach but I blame that on not eating earlier.

It appears talk has turned onto me and I have no idea what to do as I sit there and try my hardest not to listen because I could not just walk back inside that would just be awkward.

I was a little curious as to what they would say about me so I stay put on the upturned crate shamelessly listening to their conversation with a grin on my face.

“So have you guys hooked up?” Pete questions yet again.

“A gentleman never tells.” Joe retorts which is followed by booing and the sound of empty cans being thrown around.

“Pete's told us you guys have history.” I hear Jordan state.

“And that is where we are keeping it.” Joe tells everyone.

“You've waited so long for this moment!” Shouts Pete who adds “Don’t screw it up.”

“There isn’t any screwing involved yet.” Jokes Keith and I hear the others all laugh.

Nope that will never happen I sigh then immediately tell myself off the only reason I had feelings for Joe was because of the beer it was heightening my senses making me crave for some action.

“How long has it been Joe?” Andy questions but I do not hear the answer as my phone begins to ring and the guys suddenly stop talking.

Cursing I grab it from my lap and see that Gina is calling me so I spend a few seconds deciding on whether I will answer it or not.

“There you are.” I hear Joe which makes me jump and drop my phone onto the toe of one of my shoes making it bouncing onto the floor where it finally stops ringing.

Deftly Joe bends down to pick it up then hands it to me as he sits down next to me on another crate and I hold onto my phone tightly.

“Riley has great legs.” Jordan states back in the rehearsal room and I look away embarrassed from Joe as he chuckles at me.

“So you heard us talking then?” Joe questions nudging me to look back at him.

“Highlights.” I grin as I turn back to face Joe.

His face lights up with that darn smile which gets me every time and I watch as he moves closer placing a hand onto the crate.

Joe’s thumb brushes against my thigh and I try to disguise a shudder because being this close was putting all kinds of thoughts into my head.

“I think I want to kiss you.” Joe tells me and without asking for my consent our lips meet.

This isn’t real. I mean it felt pretty good but it was just for show like when we had been in front of his ex and despite what anyone said that is what it would always boil down to.

Telling myself to shut up I lean closer to Joe as the kiss is reaching a new level feeling his hand brush against my cheek pulling me even nearer to him tasting beer and cigarettes.

“The gentleman has found his lady.” Pete states making us break apart quickly.

My phone breaks into the silence ringing once again so I hold it up in the air and standing walk away from Pete and Joe thankful for the interruption.

It was Gina again and she spent what felt like at least five minutes screaming at me excitedly down the phone thanks to message I had sent her.

Explaining to her that I will be safe I end the call then turning round I notice I have been left alone outside once more so I try and control my breathing in turn slowing down the pace of my heart beat.

This had definitely been a great second date for me albeit a fake one but that was just a minor detail which wasn’t going to affect this high that I was feeling.


	12. Hide and Seek

...............................................................................................................................................................................................................  


Feeling someone’s weight shifting next to me disturbs my sleep as a groan escapes from my mouth and I open my eyes.

I am in my bedroom how I got here was a little vague but I remember that last night I was out with Joe at his friends record store.

The bed moves again and suddenly I realise that somebody is lying next to me which makes me sit bolt upright.

“You’re finally awake.” Gina cheers sitting up herself from under the duvet fully dressed in her work uniform with a grin on her face.

“Why are you in my bed?” I question giving Gina a strange look.

“I've been trying to wake you up and talk to you for ages.” Gina tells me with a shrug but then adds “Did you think I was somebody else in your bed?”

That was exactly what I had thought I think to myself.

“No you just scared me.” I lie making Gina shake her head at me.

“So you didn't think I was Joe then?” Gina questions making me blush.

“Of course not.” I snap getting out from bed hoping Gina will do the same.

“Did you get to sit on his lap?” Gina questions gleefully.

Jumping out of bed excitedly I notice Gina is wearing her work uniform as she silently hands over her phone to me and I read the message I had sent her last night.

_“Am one beer away from sitting on Joe’s lap and I really want to”_

“I don’t think I did?” I question making Gina laugh at me.

“I tried to call you several times.” Gina scolds making me roll my eyes back at her.

“I was doing what everybody has told me to do have fun.” I dead pan.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Gina makes me a black coffee because she isn’t due to go into work for at least another hour so we had a little time to talk about the events of last night.

“So all of Joe’s friends knew who you was?” Gina questions with a smile.

“Yeah.” I nod back then add “It was as if they knew all about me already.”

“You are so dumb.” Gina shakes her head at me not for the first time this morning.

“I know what you are going to say.” I tell Gina “But it isn’t true both me and Joe know where we stand.”

“Well I guess neither of you will be you making the next move then?” Gina laughs.

“Pete did catch us making out last night.” I tell Gina then instantly regret it.

“Did Joe instigate that?” Gina questions and I nod.

“The guy is putting a lot of himself out there for you Riley.” Gina states.

“It’s all part of the plan.” I retort not telling her that I had really enjoyed last night.

Talk soon turns to this evening where Gina tells me she has plans for me which sadly do not involve Joe but she thinks I needed to let him cool down a little.

“You are hilarious.” I dead pan.

“You could meet someone else tonight?” Gina questions.

“I am not out to meet anyone.” I tell Gina firmly “I just need to celebrate my new job.”

Shit. I had totally forgotten about that because I was still enjoying the buzz from last night.

“What time is it?” I ask Gina who informs me that I am of course running late.

“I need to go grab a shower and get ready.” I stand up placing my coffee into the small table next to the couch.

“Meeting the kids.” Gina smiles at me then adds sarcastically “It’ll be fine with a hangover.” 

“I can act.” I retort making Gina laugh at me.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

A quick shower wakes me up fully and transforms the dull ache in my head into a full on headache which was definitely beer related.

How stupid could I be to get drunk last night? Sure I was having fun but I should have not gotten so carried away it was all Joe’s fault.

I had decided that I would get to know Harley and Zoe in their own environment at home before heading out together somewhere.

Demi had said they both liked to draw, paint and make stuff so I could use that to my advantage by showing them messy projects which involved getting your hands covered in paint or glitter.

Gina’s gone by the time I am ready so quickly drinking from a bottle of water off the kitchen side I grab two painkillers from my handbag downing them I then rush out the door.

The sunshine was out in full force its warm rays making me momentarily forget my headache and feel excited about meeting the kids and trying not to think about last night.

Walking to the Kings house I cannot help but remember the way it had felt to kiss Joe his soft lips and wonder to myself what might have happened if Pete hadn’t appeared.

We had both pulled away from one another pretty quickly and it was soon forgotten about even though Pete spent the rest of the night watching me like a hawk.

I tried to ignore all of the comments about college because Pete was just set on annoying both me and Joe by reminding us how this had all begun.

Jordan kept on telling us how good we looked together and when we were alone he had mentioned how happy Joe was and I was the cause of it.

I had just smiled because I bet Pete was the one who put him up to saying that so I just nodded and wondered that surely I would have noticed by now this huge boner that Joe apparently had for me.

Going passed the record store I see it is open with loud music blasting out from speakers inside I may pop in later and say hey to everyone because Joe’s friends were really cool.

It wasn’t because I thought that maybe Joe might be there even though I did need to congratulate him on our good first date which was official and see what was going to happen next between us.

I spy Demi standing outside the front of their house with a pink watering can in her hand and large black sunglasses on her face.

“Hello.” I greet Demi who is wearing a halter neck sundress with palm trees printed all over it and a friendly smile.

“Hi Riley.” Demi lifts up her sunglasses and puts down the watering can onto the front step.

“Sorry I am late.” I tell her wishing I could be somewhere on time a little more often than it just being a fluke because I sucked at time keeping.

“Was it because of a guy keeping you up all night?” Demi questions with a wide smile.

“Sadly no.” I pretend to look forlorn whilst trying to not think about Joe.

“Shame.” Demi laughs at me.

“I am excited to meet the kids.” I tell Demi trying to steer the conversation into work mode and the real reason why I was here.

“Would you like an iced tea first?” Questions Demi and I nod as I watch her pick up the watering can then usher me inside the house.

Walking inside I glance closer at my surroundings taking in the long wooden hallway which I had nervously walked down on my first visit here.

The light yellow walls are covered in picture frames of different sizes and shapes filled with family photos and moments in time captured for all to see.

Following Demi I enter the kitchen behind her as she tells me I can take a seat at the table island in the centre of the room which I do whilst placing my handbag by my feet on the floor.

Hearing a loud bang I look up to the ceiling to hear childish giggling then notice that Demi is watching me as she places my drink on the table in front of me.

“The kids are a little excited to meet you.” Demi smiles at me making me nod.

“That’s sweet I hope I make a good impression on them.” I tell Demi whilst twirling the straw in my drink round and round.

“Just act like yourself and you will be fine.” Demi grins at me.

I doubted that was true because I had a habit of either being completely awkward around people or if somebody pushed any of my buttons then I would turn on my sarcasm full volume.

“Stop looking so worried you have done this before right?” Demi questions shaking me out from my random thoughts.

“Yes I have.” I smirk back then add “It is just I can over think things sometimes.”

“You cannot do that with kids.” Demi informs me “You need to be there for them one hundred and ten per cent.”

“Sure.” I nod back.

“Then when they go to bed you get the wine out from the fridge and that is when you can truly think.” Demi informs me taking her sunglasses off from her face.

“Sounds like you know your stuff.” I grin back.

“Stick with me and you will be fine.” Demi laughs and I join in feeling some of my nerves disappear.

“So are Harley and Zoe upstairs then?” I ask Demi who nods.

“Yes let’s go see what they are up too.” Demi states walking away from the table island waving at me to follow her.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Standing up I follow Demi up a wide set of wooden stairs left bare listening to my foot steps as I walk up them trying to gather all of my thoughts together.

Across the landing Demi steps into the first room opposite us and I join her to see the décor is neutral and in between all the toys on the floor I see two children.

“This is Harley’s room.” Demi tells me with a smile.

“My brother has cooler toys than me.” The little blonde girl with her hair in a high ponytail informs me seriously whilst clutching onto what looked like a robot dinosaur on wheels.

“Can I take a look?” I ask bending down to meet the kids halfway as they both sat on the floor.

I smile as Zoe glances at her brother who nods his consent then she hands me the dinosaur and I accidently press a button which makes it roar and I jump.

“Robosaur isn’t scary!” Giggles Zoe and I smile back.

“This is Riley.” Demi tells her kids then adds “She will be your new nanny.”

“My name’s Harley.” Demi’s son tells me with a serious look on his face.

“I’m Zoe and I love dinosaurs.” Zoe tells me still smiling happily.

“Well Robosaur is mine!” Harley snatches the toy clean from Zoe’s hand wiping the smile right off her face.

“Hey!” Yells Zoe jumping up off the floor chasing down her brother in circles around the room which ends in them both crashing into Demi.

“Now kids!” Demi raises her voice from soft spoken to stern.

“But Harley took-“

“I don’t want to hear it.” Demi rolls her eyes.

“It’s my dinosaur!” Harley yells waving the toy in Zoe’s face then snatching it back as she tries to grab it.

“Who wants to go to the park with Riley?” Demi questions making me look up sharply.

“Yes!” Shouts Zoe clearly forgetting about Robosaur she runs over me.

“Can we have ice cream?” Harley questions and I nod.

“Ice cream and a walk around the park.” I tell them “Sounds like fun!”

“Will you be coming with us mum?” Zoe questions in a small voice almost like she was afraid of the answer.

“I need to go pop into the florist I am afraid.” Demi tries to look shame faced at me and I fail not to feel the sudden tension in the room as the kids in front of me look a little downcast.

“When is dad coming home?” Harley asks looking up at Demi who is edging back out of the room like she was ready to turn and run away.

“Tonight.” Demi brushes off the question then adds “He can tuck you both into bed.”

“The park is waiting for us!” I cheer making the kids turn round and look at me.

“Ok.” Zoe nods at me “I need to go get my shoes.”

“I better go help my sister.” Harley explains as he darts out of the room.

“Sorry to put you on the spot but they both love going to the park.” Demi smiles at me.

“No problem.” I grin “Maybe all of us including your husband can go another time take a picnic-“

“Don’t judge my family.” Demi states cutting me off which makes me look up at her.

“I wasn’t.” I tell her honestly and she nods at me.

“Well good.” Demi explains “We are very happy how we are I just need your help me with the kids in between work.”

“I’m no Mary Poppins” I joke trying to lighten the mood whilst not trying to judge Demi at the same time.

“Let’s go downstairs shall we?” Demi smiles at me and I nod.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

The kids are all set standing by the front door talking in hushed voices which suddenly stop when they see us at the foot of the stairs and I head back to the kitchen to grab my handbag.

“Are you guys ready to go?” I ask them when I reappear in the hallway and they both nod at me politely.

“I shouldn't be too long at the store.” Demi tells me handbag already tucked under her arm ready to go.

“Can’t you please come to the park with us?” Questions Harley pulling a sad face which even tugged at one of my heartstrings.

“I am meeting Lawrence.” Demi tells the kids then looks at me and says “He co owns the florist with me he is all numbers whilst I work in store.”

“Your mum is busy.” I tell Harley and Zoe “But I am here we will have lots of fun at the park!”

“Don’t forget the ice cream.” Zoe informs me which makes me laugh and she begins to giggle.

“See.” Demi smiles at me once we are all ushered out of the house “You guys will be fine.”

I had little choice in the matter as Demi waves then heads off in front of us even though we were all going to be walking the same direction.

“Do you know the way to the park?” I ask Harley and he nods taking hold of Zoe’s hand we all begin to walk in a line along the street.

I wasn’t going to judge Demi I tell myself because she was my employer and I had to do my job which was look after the kids making sure they had fun.

Even though it was a little weird how she had snapped at me but I had to learn how this family worked and ease myself in slowly hoping deep down that the kids would like me.

So far all was good the pair of them waking in front of me with Zoe looking back every now and then as if making sure that I was still there.

It was obvious that Harley was your typical big brother on the one hand looking out for his younger sibling but not without seeing how far he could push her before getting shouted out.

“Watch out!” I yell as Zoe is ready to cross the street but Harley is holding her back.

Stopping in front of the kids I tell them that they should wait for me and I give Harley a look as he snorts at me.

“I can look after myself and Zoe.” Harley states loudly.

“That is my job to look after you both.” I explain then add “But also to have fun!”

“All our other nannies have been nasty.” Zoe groans.

“Well I am not like that.” I tell them not liking where this conversation was going with the kids.

“They all go away.” Harley looks up at me.

“I am not going anywhere.” I shake my head at him “Look the swings are free why don’t you both go and play?” 

“Ok.” Zoe giggles at me running off in my line of vision as Harley rolls his blue eyes at me and follows behind his sister.

Well that was upsetting the kids it seemed had already decided that I would soon go away which was inevitable but not within an hour of meeting the two of them.

Demi has mentioned several times now how she has changed nannies pretty frequently which had worried me but this wasn’t even my first day I was just meeting the kids.

Someone who I think looks familiar catches my eye and for a few seconds I hold my breath until I realise that the guy running past me wasn’t Joe so I try to relax.

I was just being paranoid anyway but the guy did have the same build as Joe just shorter, less chaotic hair which was something I liked about Joe because it suited him so well.

Checking my phone in my jeans pocket I see that nobody has tried to contact me especially Gina who I knew wanted to tease me more about that message I had sent her last night.

But that could wait because I did wonder briefly if Joe was thinking about me but then dismiss the idea seeing that I had met his ex-Shona which made me realise I was out of his league.

Anyway right now we were both sticking to the rules we had agreed to neither of us were going to go off script and do something stupid like hook up.

Even though I was back to desperately wanting some action I have been fantasising a lot about it taking my mind off the mundane hoping that I was going to meet someone soon.

Tonight could even be the night that I take a guy back to the apartment which would be a real surprise even to me but with my friends by my side I am sure they would be on hand to help me make it happen.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Looking back into the playground area trying to control my thoughts I suddenly feel very sick when I cannot see Zoe or Harley any more and I begin to panic.

Taking a few steps forward I pass through the yellow turnstile into the playground eyes darting around failing to recognise either of the kids I was supposed to be looking after.

How could I have been so caught up in myself and not paid any attention to where Harley and Zoe were?

Cursing to myself I rush into the playground bending down to check in the slide or stand on tiptoes looking up at the monkey bars to wonder where the hell they both could be.

I was well and truly lost what was my next step did I have to call the police or speak to Demi and explain how I have managed to lose her kids in less than an hour.

“Riley!” Shouts Zoe making me twist round to see the little girl running away from me giggling.

So they were playing games with me successfully it seemed seeing that they were running circles around me quite literally. 

Following Zoe I watch as she ducks underneath the slide and she is peaking her head out trying to either look for me or for wherever her brother was.

“I can see you!” I yell with a grin making Zoe scream excitedly at me.

“You found me?” Zoe questions as I stop to bend down by the green slide whilst she stands up from the floor wiping down her hands on her blue denim shorts.

“Where is your brother?” I ask Zoe looking around me still unable to see him.

“It was his idea for us to hide.” Zoe tells me honestly and very much like she was telling on Harley.

“Well that’s no good.” I state trying to hide the annoyance out of my voice just what was it that Harley was up to.

“He’s in the tree.” Zoe informs me tugging at my hand as I instinctively look up at the large oak trees outside of the playground.

Instead Zoe guides me past the swings towards a large red rope net with a wooden frame where she points up high.

The kids could climb up the rope and then sit at the top where it was shaped like tree branches with plastic leaves surrounding it.

“I found you!” Zoe yells up towards the top of the net stomping her right foot for good measure.

Harley looks round and I notice the grumpy look on his face whilst Zoe is poking her tongue out at him.

“Can you come down now?” I ask Harley who obviously shakes his head in the negative.

“I want to stay here.” Harley yells back at me.

I glance back down at Zoe who stamps her foot again onto the red rubber flooring in the playground.

“I want my mum.” Harley shouts “You made her leave us.”

Well that was a load of shit I think watching as Harley pokes his tongue out at me which meant that there was no ice broken just yet between me and the kids.

“After we have had ice cream and gone for a walk we can head back home to see her.” I tell Harley noticing that several people was watching this exchange taking place.

Two women who looked like friends both holding toddlers under their arms had ring side seats at the bench next to us which made me feel bad until I realised that I was in fact the adult here.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

“So I take it you don’t want ice cream then?” I ask Harley who has moved a little down the rope net trying not to look like he was interested.

“I do!” Shouts Zoe waving her hands in the air excitedly.

“Ok so that is one ice cream with-“

“I want one!” Harley shouts having gone down the rope net at break neck speed.

“Do you now?” I question.

“Yes please.” Harley nods and that is good enough for me.

Following me out from the playground we walk together towards a vendor and I buy both the kids an ice cream like promised.

Sitting in a circle on the grass both Zoe and Harley are happily content eating whilst I check my phone again to see that I have no messages whatsoever.

It wasn’t as if I thought Joe would be blowing up my phone trying to contact me but I would be a liar if I didn’t admit that I felt a little put out that he hadn’t but then I remember tonight holds a whole host of possibilities.

“So who wants to go for a walk?” I ask the kids with a smile trying to stop myself from going off on a daydream all over again.

All standing up I decide we should walk around the main park maybe try to get the kids onto my side because all in all they were pretty cool.

Growing up as an only child had sucked and was something I haven’t truly gotten over even now because it felt like I had missed out by not having a sibling but it wasn’t like I could change the past.

If that was the case then I would have never of gone out with Will I think bitterly to myself then another thought hits me even harder what if I had actually hooked up with Joe at college?

Would we have gotten together and become a couple? I shudder to myself at this line of thinking I wasn’t going to turn all gooey over Joe it would put our friendship on the line to say the least.

“Can you come back again soon?” Zoe asks me as we near one of the main gates to the park.

“I have had fun today.” I tell the kids who smile at me.

“I hope you don’t tell mum I ran away from you.” Harley asks me cautiously.

“Well when I am looking after you it hurts my feelings if you run away.” I tell him and he suddenly looks deep in thought in an almost too serious pose for an eight year old.

“I won’t run away ever again.” Zoe grins at me then adds “I like you you’re not really old.” 

Coming from a five year old I was unsure if that even warranted as a compliment but I would take it so I smile back at her.

“I am sorry.” Harley begins his brows slowly settling back into places after he had obviously over thought about what he was going to say I really understood where he was coming from.

“Thank you for apologising.” I tell Harley who is happy with this exchange as we continue to walk back home.

Passing Death Valley records makes me take my phone out from my bag to see that I am still unloved and I resist the urge to go over there with the kids because that would only cause more problems.

I had to just leave it be either I would call Joe if I had good news regarding a date or even the idea of a possible hook up which was ashamedly high up on my list of priorities.

Running up the steps to their house Zoe hits her hand on the front door whilst Harley who can just reach the doorbell rings it urgently.

A few moments later Demi thankfully answers the door mobile phone cradled between her right shoulder and ear as she ushers us all inside.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

“Harley ran away!” Zoe sing songs in front of Demi in a fool proof way of getting her mum’s attention it worked very well.

“I will call you back Lawrence.” Demi states hanging up the phone without saying goodbye.

“I didn't run far!” Harley whines that serious look reappearing on his face.

“Let me explain.” I tell Demi holding my hands up as if to shield myself from whatever was going to happen next.

“I think you should.” Demi informs me as we all follow her into the kitchen and I pray to whoever that I still have a job after this.

Turns out that once Demi knew the story as to why Harley ran off not mentioning that it was due to her not being there I chucked myself under the bus and to hell with the consequences.

“So they ran circles around you?” Demi questions and I silently nod closing my eyes.

“Lots of fun was had by all.” I tell the mum trying to keep the sarcasm out from my voice because apart from almost losing them both it had been a good time.

“So can you start Monday for me in the afternoon?” Demi questions making me open my eyes up in surprise.

“Sure.” I smile back.

“Just as long as you don’t make it a habit of losing my kids then everything will be fine.” Demi grins at me.

The kids are excited to hear that I will be coming back next week and with a small wave they both rush off upstairs hopefully not plotting what they were going to do to get me into trouble next.

Talk soon turned from the kids to my personal life as Demi pours me another iced tea drink and she must have seen how excited I had looked when I’d just heard my phone beep to signal I had a message.

“You must be seeing someone.” Demi grins at me as I resist the urge to grab my handbag to check my phone.

“I assure you I am not.” I retort wanting to leave it at just that and hope Demi doesn't ask any more questions.

“But your face.” Demi begins with a laugh “The whole thing lit up as soon as you heard your phone and I can assure it was because of a guy.”

“I am going out tonight with friends.” I explain then find myself mentioning Will and how that had put a huge dampener on the rest of my life.

“So go have fun tonight then!” Demi raises her glass at me making me smile.

“I plan on it.” I smirk back.

“But if there is a guy don’t try to make him jealous.” Demi tells me “I don’t understand these woman who play games because it never works.”

“I hate complicating things.” I explain “If there was a guy I would tell him straight what our deal was.”

“That is so right!” Demi nods at me cheerfully “You do not need to confuse things to try and appear coy if you want the guy then go for it.”

“There is no guy-“

“Riley.” Demi grins cutting me off then she adds “There is always a guy.”

“He’s an old friend.” I babble brushing away the comment.

“See I knew it.” Demi winks at me.

Saying goodbye to Demi she wishes me luck for tonight and I tell her that I will need it which makes her laugh I just hoped that it wasn’t at me.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Stepping out from the shower I wrap a large pale blue towel around myself then head back into my room to see that I have a bunch of messages from both my friends.

Gina is excited for tonight because she has a surprise for me which isn’t what I expect it to be or so she says even though I hadn’t been in the least bit suspicious about tonight until now.

Casey however is moping because Justin is busy tonight he is out with a few work friends seeing a local band play so she will spend all night glued to her phone instead messaging him every chance she got.

It is both fun and exhausting going out for a drink with Casey because after every alcoholic drink she finishes a layer is peeled off her personality and you get a different version of her.

After one drink she begins to talk non-stop and I mean she does not pause for breath at all and most of what she said was either a repeat or what someone just said or something irrelevant to the conversation.

Two drinks later and Casey gets very loud shouting over music to be heard screaming right into your ear whilst you are trying to enjoy the night is pretty annoying.

Meeting three drinks Casey is the worst because that is when she gets really touchy feely and with Gina or Jess around that just causes even more problems.

Personal boundaries mean nothing to this Casey as she tries to sit on your lap or accidently gropes you as she pushes you into countless hugs it is the most personal version of her that you can see.

Four or more drinks you end up with mixed results because if Justin was with her Casey begins to talk about how horny she is but if he isn’t there she begins to mope and ends up calling him until he picks up.

So this is where things begin to get messy however you look at it because Casey was a light weight when it came to booze it clearly wasn’t her friend but I think she knew her limits by now.

Either way Justin was always there for her to whisk her away in his arms or even hold her hair back when she was sick from too much booze I guess you could say my goal was to find someone like her boyfriend.

In terms of someone who stuck around and didn't leave because he was too scared to take the relationship to the next level or they either left you during a blind date or just expected sex every time they clicked their fingers.

It was my turn to make the rules and live by them if a guy wanted to follow them then hell he can stay but if he was going to ignore them or hurt me then I wasn’t going to hang around for long.

Not that I was even looking for a relationship right now because I had hardly even begun to date anyone seeing that Joe did not count for obvious reasons.  
I was going to ignore the stupid bet that my friends had decided to pounce on me knowing that they were trying to push my buttons which as usual worked.

Shrugging into my cream coloured lace bodycon dress I wanted to look sexy this evening because it never hurt to dress up every now and then feeling fucking amazing in the process.

Loosening my hair from the low bun I had placed it in I tease the curls then adding hairspray I decide to add make up next to finish my look bringing out the big guns with bright red lipstick.

Finally ready I head out into the night hoping that I could stand wearing these black high heels all night without falling over because they made me look good.

Heading inside Weston’s I could not believe that I was back here and as I think this I spy Casey in a booth drinking a bottle of beer which makes me wonder how many has she had already.

“Hey.” I smile at my friend who gives me a wide grin.

“You look great!” Casey yells at me enveloping me into a hug with feeling which means that she was at least three beers deep into tonight.

“Thanks.” I tell Casey feeling self-conscious all of a sudden.

“No really.” Casey grabs hold of my right hand “If Joe was here right now he would be having you on this very table.”

“I doubt it.” I roll my eyes at my friend who is smirking at me.

“Why are you grinning so much?” Casey questions whilst I try to hide the fact that I was.

“I am happy for tonight!” I tell Casey who nods at me.

“Well I hope Justin gets here tonight.” Casey whines pushing some hair away from her face.

“He is bound to come get you.” I assure my friend not liking the jealous feeling appearing in my stomach which I chase away because it was ridiculous.

“I hope so.” Casey states “I am going to ruin him tonight.”

Sitting down opposite my friend she rewards me with in depth description of what she and Justin were going to get up to later on tonight.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

“Ok enough!” I tell her before I found out just how great a tongue her boyfriend had which was something I didn't need to know right now or ever.

“Gina is taking forever with the drinks!” Casey yells at me and I nod.

“I need to catch up with you.” I smirk at my friend who pulls a stupid face at me.

“Oh yeah.” Casey tells me ignoring my last comment “Whatever Gina is up to I am not involved.”

“What is she up-“

“Riley!” Gina shouts cutting me off as I look up at her suspiciously.

“Hey.” I smile at my friend as she grins widely at me and I know I am in trouble.

Handing me a long island iced tea Gina coos over how hot I look and that I needed to up my game because my dress was going to get me laid.

“Let’s not rush-“

“Seriously you are giving me a boner.” Gina shouts at the same time I notice someone appearing next to her placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Kirk!” Gina grabs the guy into a warm friendly hug and I find myself checking him out which Casey catches me doing as she winks at me.

“Thank Gina not me.” Casey mouths at me before she takes another huge gulp of drink.

“Riley met Kirk!” Gina tells me as I look away from my friend giving her a funny look.

“Hello gorgeous.” Kirk addresses me which annoys me for some reason as he points that wide smile and sharp gaze in my direction causing me to stare.

His brown eyes looked flirty as he takes the empty seat next to me and I take note of how well presented he looked like he had spent way much longer in the mirror than me.

Next thing I know I am comparing him to Joe which surprises me as Kirk was a little shorter and had ink black hair with a floppy fringe and that unrelenting smile that would just not quit.

“So Gina has told me loads about you.” Kirk leans forward in his seat then adds “I know Leo from her work and when she mentioned you I needed to know more.”

Well that was both weird and complimentary at the same time which confused me and I try to ignore the look that Gina gives me I guess it was my turn to talk.

“There isn’t much to tell.” I smile at Kirk who gives me a sidelong look.

Well.” Kirk shakes his head at me as if he doesn't believe me he adds “I have like a hundred questions for you.”  
Lucky me.

“I begin by asking you this.” Kirk points a finger at me “Why the hell are you single?”

“That’s rude.” I retort because I was unsure if he was trying to either hit on me or hit a nerve because right now it was the latter.

“I am just so shocked.” Kirk continues “You look so hot in that dress.”

“Like a virgin!” Shouts Casey who begins to sing the chorus to the song of the same title which was annoyingly bound to get stuck in my head this evening.

“Riley is anything but a virgin.” Gina laughs hitting Casey hard on the arm to stop her singing off key it was causing a few people to look over.

“I am not a virgin.” I mumble more to myself than anyone even though it felt like I did because the thought of sex with whomever still caused me many mixed feelings.

“So what do you do?” Kirk asks me steering the conversation onto an easier subject.

“I am a nanny.” I tell the guy next to me who listens to me as I tell everybody how today had gone down taking Harley and Zoe to the park.

“They sound like brats.” Kirk tells me and I shake my head defensively.

“Don’t like kids huh?” I aim this question back at Kirk whose eyebrows rise high in the affirmative.

“Look I am not the settling down kind.” Kirk holds his hands out at me.

“Well I wasn’t asking you to chuck me down on this table and impregnate me.” I retort sarcastically.

“Let’s get back on track.” Gina cheers whilst Kirk is looking at me like I have two heads or something.

I wasn’t pushing this guy away from on purpose but if he was going to assume just because I mentioned kids then I was longing for my own that was a whole other matter that did not concern him.

..............................................................................................................................................................................................................

Sure this was all just a ruse to get his sperm so I could have the family I have always wanted I think bitterly to myself noting that look that reached Will’s eyes whenever I had mentioned the possibility of children.

Noticing that I have finished my drink I go to stand to buy myself another but Kirk holds his hand in my face and tells me he will buy this round.

“Whatever.” I murmur to myself watching his back as he retreats to the bar.

“Riley.” Casey waves a finger at me “Play nice with Kirk.”

“You are ruining your chances.” Gina states sounding a little angry.

“I don’t want him.” I decide going with my gut feeling because this guy seemed like a total player.

“What so nobody but Joe will do then?” Gina retorts which hits a sore spot as it was intended.

“You know that isn’t true.” I tell Gina thinking the idea was absurd because I was not holding the guy up high on a pedestal.

“Just try some other guys out.” Casey tells me then adds “So when you are ready to admit your feeling to us about Joe we will listen.” 

“There will be no admitting.” I deadpan “We are just friends.”

Before things could get out of hand Kirk reappears at our table with more beers and a long island iced tea for me which I graciously accept.

“So let’s start again.” Kirk tells me going back to the questions which was a nice distraction because all my thoughts currently went back to Joe I blamed my friends for that.

But this time there is no arguing between me and Kirk as he flirts openly once again but neither of us jump in defence at the others comment which finally relaxes me a little.

Every few moments Gina kept on giving me thumbs up which was super annoying because I was trying to pay attention to Kirk who was talking about his job which was something in the media.

This sets off Casey because Justin works for a magazine and so she begins to talk non-stop about her boyfriend thankfully this time not mentioning his skills in the bedroom.

“I need a drink.” Gina pouts at Casey who rolls her eyes at me.

On cue both of my friends stand up and leave me alone with Kirk who adjusts the large watch on his left wrist as I silently curse them for abandoning me I didn’t want to get set up again.

What I should be doing right now was mingling with strangers trying out the crowd in the bar to see if I found someone who caught my eye who I could approach and then heavily make out with.

“Earth to Riley!” Teases Kirk clicking two fingers in my face attempting to snap me out from my daydream.

“Huh.” I ask out loud sounding super dorky and realising it makes me blush.

“I was telling you what I look for in a woman.” Kirk grins his brown eyes watching me mischievously.

“Obviously not me.” I tell Kirk as I notice him looking towards the bar where he can see Gina and I know the real reason why he was here.

I let Kirk continue to talk because I could not care less who this guy liked sure I had just met him about an hour or so ago but from now on I listened to my body and right now it was like I was dead.

There was hardly any factor of this guy that I liked sure he was quite hot to look at but it wasn’t like I knew I could have him because Kirk was obviously all about Gina.

“I give up.” I hear Kirk announces as I see my friends sit back down trying not to look like they had just been laughing a few moments ago most probably at my expense.

“So how did she do?” Gina questions which alerts me.

I see the look that passes between Kirk and Gina and when she catches me looking she starts to laugh which makes me wonder what punchline I was obviously missing.

“I asked Kirk out tonight.” Gina informs me then adds “To test your flirting skills.”

“See it had nothing to do with me!” Casey tells me again trying to look innocent when instead she looks like she has hit the four onwards beer mark.

“Well.” Kirk gives me a sidelong look again “As I said Riley is hot she could easily have any guy here.”

Besides you I think to myself sardonically as I see Gina has the guy wrapped around his little finger and I was unsure if he even knew himself.

“But it appears her mind is elsewhere right now and I am not the guy she will be thinking about later tonight.” Kirk states as I swear my mouth hangs open super unattractively.

“That is so true.” Casey smirks at me knowingly.

Gina however has burst out into crazy laughter which isn’t the most attractive thing to see or hear but it appears that Kirk didn’t care that she sounded like a hurt seal.

“You are so wrong.” I tell the table as everyone was still conspiring against me as the night went on.

“Riley has a guy she could so easily hook up with.” Gina tells Kirk placing a hand on his lower left arm which confirms my earlier suspicions.

“I haven’t met him yet.” I retort sarcastically even though I knew full well who she meant.

“Now that is a lie.” Kirk tells me with a wide grin on his face.

“Was that a chat up line?” I question because that sounded terrible.

“No it was a fact.” Kirk aims that goddamn finger in my face again adding “You just rewarded me with one of your sexiest smiles which I bet you only reserve for this guy you’ve been thinking about right now.”

Why did everybody assume it was Joe putting the smile on my face when in fact I knew it was just because I had a new job and finally I could see my life getting back to normal?

Both of us knew the plan and what I needed to do was maybe I could do a circuit around the bar if I fail to talk to someone then I can suggest we move onto another place starting all over again.

It was pretty obvious by now that Kirk had agreed to do this all because of Gina seeing that the pair of them were all over each other leaning in close adding little touches to one another’s arm or leg.

So even if I had seen Kirk in a different light I would have been instantly rejected because he was all about Gina who had bagged and tagged yet another guy.

Finishing my drink I explain to Gina and Kirk that I am going for a wander I think they don’t hear me properly but neither ask me to repeat myself so I walk off regardless.

Casey had walked off a few moments ago with her phone attached to her hand obviously trying to call Justin because she could not be away from him for too long.

I had used to be like that when it came to guys answering on the second ring when they called and making myself super available whenever I was needed.

Turns out I was being used the whole time and I guess that had even included Will who mustn't had loved me I just wished that I could never think about him ever again.

Like in that cult indie film where after a bad break up the girl wants to forget the guy she had been seeing so she goes to a clinic and gets that part of her memory erased so she can truly move on.

But feeling like I had a hell of a lot to prove to my friends even including Kirk who could read me so easily but I wasn’t going to let anyone know that.

Treating myself to two shots at the bar I scan the crowd to see if anybody will catch my eye whilst I down the first one letting the sharp taste of tequila hit the back of my throat.

Placing the second drink to my lips I notice a vaguely familiar face of a guy who I have met before but I have no idea where and the feeling passes when I see a girl come up to him and hug him.

Wearing a longline striped summer dress and a snap back cap balanced backward on her head the girl smiles at the guy whilst I try to place him but my mind is going blank.

Shaking my head I realise I am wasting time here so with one final look at the guy who had garnered my attention just like he had the first moment I’d met him I decide to I walk off instead.

Trying to blend in I notice how much better I walk in my heels after having a little liquid lubricant in the form of alcohol which had obviously loosened me up nicely.

It wasn’t as if I had abandoned my inhibitions they were perfectly intact or at least for now they were because reaching the other side of the bar I realise I may need to go back to the start.

Of course when I get there I cannot see the guy at all the one with the girl who had a laid back but sexy dress sense something that I only inspired to whilst playing dress up in the sanctity of my own bedroom.

This makes me get my phone out from my handbag because for some reason I was feeling self-conscious all of a sudden and the device was my go to safety blanket.  


Swiping the screen to life I wave down a bartender who looks disinterested in everybody but himself so I order another beer and decide to send Joe a message.

It was harmless enough I tell myself briefly asking Joe that if he was free could he come and find me at Weston’s bar because I was in need of some flirting lessons to attract someone of the opposite sex.

Thanking the bartender who ignores me I grab my cold beer and wonder if Joe would even message me back the guy had been at my beck and call a lot lately but I guess that was what friends were for.

If only I could find that guy from earlier he had been wearing a light grey suit which fitted him just right and I still hadn't figured out where the hell I had met him before unless I was imagining it.

Back at the table I see Gina has wasted no time whatsoever with Kirk even though we had only been here for a few hours yet the pair were playing a seriously competitive game of tonsil tennis right now.

Casey I see is pulling faces at the pair and she grins when she sees me sit down as If I was saving her from the show that was taking place.

“I managed to call Justin.” Casey tells me which brings back that jealous feeling in the pit of my stomach and it makes me feel like a bad person.

“Is he coming by?” I ask her and she shakes her head.

“Not yet.” Casey tells me then adds “But I want to stay here until he does turn up.”

“Isn't it fun to be out of each other’s hair for a few hours?” I question sincerely.

“I miss him plus I am super horny.” Casey tells me she was back to describing how amazing her sex life was which I felt was something you could not keep on boasting about.

A little while later and Kirk has left Gina alone with us as he is at the bar getting more drinks which was really good of him but he was just trying to stay in my friends good books.

“So are you and Seth over then?” I ask Gina who yawns at me in form of reply.

“Tonight it is all about Kirk.” Gina tells me with a wide grin on her face.

“So you’re not going home alone then?” I question knowing that I would have to wear my headphones when we got home because Gina was a little too noisy in the bedroom and we had thin walls in the apartment.

“Neither are you it seems.” Casey states with a laugh looking up behind me.

Getting that super excited feeling in my stomach even before I turn round I try to ignore the collection of butterflies and try to rearrange my face so I didn’t look like an idiot.

Like a knight in a red and black checked shirt I see Joe standing behind me with his name badge still on his black tee shirt which had a picture of an Ouija board on it but that wasn’t important right now.

“Hey!” I smile at Joe trying to remain calm because I had an audience seeing my friends giving me a look which was loaded with questions I waited for one of them to crack.

“So are you stalking Riley or something?” Casey asks the first one to break.

“I cannot stay away.” Joe grins at me making the butterflies in my stomach shoot around like rockets.

“I can see your boner from here.” Gina informs Joe making me glare at her.

“Do you want a drink?” Joe questions and I nod standing up because I want to go and talk to Joe in private away from my friends.

“I will go and call Justin again.” Casey tells us all leaving the table just as I see Kirk coming back he was someone who I did not want Joe to meet just yet.

Joe holds out his hand for me to lead the way so I do watching Casey walk off towards the back of the bar so she could probably hear Justin over all the noise.

Telling myself to get a grip I reach the bar to look back and see Joe right behind me taking off his checked shirt to reveal his tee has been cut at the sleeves into a vest and it looked so good on him.

I realised I was staring hard but I could not help it because I could spend days staring at this guy and the thought hits me hard in both the stomach and the heart.


	13. Jealousy

..............................................................................................................................................................................................................

Taking a deep breath I catch my reflection in the mirror behind the bar noticing how wide my eyes looked and that there was a pink flush creeping over my cheeks.

Joe meanwhile was smiling at me whilst I try to gather all my thoughts standing confidently to hide the emotions swimming around in my mind.

The last time I had seen Joe we were both making out around the back of Death Valley Records lost in each other’s mouths stuck in the moment.

But right now wasn’t the time to be reminiscing instead I needed advice from Joe also to try and appear confident even though I felt more drunk than awesome right now.

“Whoa.” Joe grins as I stumble forward in my heels trying to get closer to him and almost end up face first in his lap instead.

What I wanted to do right now was owe Joe yet another explanation because Gina had set me up with someone who she clearly liked herself and there was no use talking to Casey right now.

“You are closer than I thought.” I laugh at Joe as he places a hand on either side of my waist whilst I grab a hand onto his lower arm trying to stop the room from spinning.

It was as if the alcohol had hit me in one go rewarding me with a stupid grin on my face as I stare openly at Joe and his hands move down onto my hips.

“I am so glad you are here.” I tell Joe happily tugging on his arm that I was still clinging onto and I feel his hands slide down my sides.

“Anything for you.” Joe winks at me sadly moving his hands away but not without the tips of his fingers lingering at the bottom of my dress which fills my mind with a whole host of inappropriate thoughts.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Getting us two beers from a bartender I watch silently as Joe then moves his red and black checked shirt behind him onto an empty stool and I decide that now was the time to speak before any of my friends decided to come over.

“I need rescuing.” I explain to Joe as he hands me a beer and points to the stool were he had placed his checked shirt so I take a seat next to him as he moves to stand closer to me.

Crossing my legs over one another I balance my left arm onto the bar to stop myself from falling off the stool then I notice the way Joe was looking at me and it fills me with lust which I try to ignore.

“You look fine to me.” Joe smiles making me roll my eyes at him and he laughs when I ask if he got his chat up lines from Pete.

“Stop complimenting me.” I tell him feeling embarrassed because every time I have seen him he has made me feel good which was nice but I had to keep reminding myself that this was all fake.

“When I feel the need to I will.” Joe states looking down at me the full force of his gaze staring at me like I was double cherry pie or something.

“Don’t waste your time.” I pout looking down at my beer bottle feeling frustrated “Casey is really drunk and getting on my nerves because she won’t shut up about her boyfriend Justin.”

“No need to be jealous.” Joe winks at me then adds “Is that the only reason why you wanted me here?”

“I am not jealous-“

“Someone is protesting too much.” Joe cuts me off with a laugh enjoying the fact that he was hitting a nerve or at least successfully winding me up.

“Anyway.” I wave a hand in the air angrily then explain “Gina invited this guy named Kirk tonight who she clearly wants to sleep with herself but he had been testing me on my flirting skills.”

“I thought that was my job?” Joe questions brushing his hand over one of my legs as he stands close to me and I try not to enjoy the sensation from the brief contact.

“Well after all the stupid questions Kirk told Gina that he gave up on me and next thing I know they had their tongue’s down each other’s throat.” I tell Joe with a shrug.

“So you are jealous then.” Joe stands back to look at me trying to read my face.

I do not answer that question right away because I did not want to explain to Joe what Kirk had said about me seeing I had been thinking about Joe a lot today and that was embarrassing to admit even to myself.

“No I don’t find the guy attractive.” I state sincerely after a few moments pause then add “But there was someone else who had caught my eye.”

“Ah now I see.” Joe laughs at the face I pull “You couldn’t spend a whole day without seeing me.”

“That's not it-“

“Don’t go ruining the moment.” Joe grins at me as he reaches his hand close to my face stroking a few stray strands away from my face.

“Whoa.” I lean back away from both his touch and intense gaze because I could not play around like this right now.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

“We have company.” Joe whispers into my ear leaning in close as I feel his breath tickle my neck.

Looking round I am surprised when I do not see Gina or Casey instead it was the guy I kind of recognised from somewhere who up close looked really handsome.

“Don’t be too obvious.” Joe tells me breaking into my thoughts and putting a stop to whatever was happening between us because we'd been having fun flirting.

“I know that guy from somewhere.” I explain to Joe who tells me not to use that as a chat up line because it never works for Pete making me poke out my tongue at him.

“I can flirt you know.” I retort at Joe trying not to look back at the guy hoping that I he wasn’t getting the wrong idea thinking that I was taken.

Pretending to laugh at something Joe was saying to me he rewards me with a grin as I lean forward placing a hand flat onto his chest looking up into his deep blue eyes biting my bottom lip.

“That was perfect.” Joe mouths at me as I move my hand from his chest sitting back feeling pretty pleased with myself.

“I know.” I smile looking back into the crowd to see the guy staring directly over at me.

“Well I have an idea.” Joe grins then adds “Believe me it works.”

“One of your flirting tricks?” I question as Joe looks down at me through his long eyelashes with a sexy smile on his face.

“Don’t want this guy thinking that we are together.” Joe winks at me.

“Like that would ever happen.” I retort sarcastically.

“I’ve seen the way you look at me sometimes.” Joe nods his head at me then laughs because I must look shocked seeing that was how I felt.

“Someone has a big ego.” I state filling the silence between us smirking awkwardly.

“Never gotten any complaints.” Joe winks at me making me roll my eyes and place my hand onto his chest again softly pushing him away from me.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Grabbing my hand Joe pulls me up from the stool and this time I don’t fall into him as he decides to spin me round bumping into people in the crowd who yell at us to move out of the way.

Laughing he drops my hand to my side and pointing back at the table where I see Gina waving over at us I walk back towards them thankfully seeing that Kirk wasn’t there.

Hopefully he had gone but I doubted it because I saw the look that Gina had been giving him all the while he had been asking me all those idiotic questions like where did I see myself in five years.

I had no idea what was going to happen tonight let alone in five years’ time and then things had gotten personal when he decided to ask me questions about my sex life which was a big sore point right now.

I feel a hand on my shoulder so I turn round ignoring the stupid faces Gina was pulling at me to see Joe give me a smile.

“Stick with me and you will get laid.” Joe states at me telling me that I needed to listen to what he had to say.

“I can get some.” I retort pushing out my chest and as if on cue I see Joe’s eyes drift down then back up at me his smile getting wide.  
“I wasn’t saying you-“

“Riley!” I hear Gina shout cutting off Joe from whatever he was about to say to me so I head over to my friend instead.

“What’s happening?” I aim this question at Casey who has her face down on the table most probably passed out.

“Think she is waiting for Justin.” Gina grins at me and Casey who must be awake leans her hand across the table knocking empty bottle to the floor trying grabbing her phone.

“Is she ok?” Joe asks taking a seat next to me and I fail not to notice the look Gina gives me as I roll my eyes at her.

“A little too much Hawaiian punch.” Gina waves her hand at Joe as Casey sits up and places her phone to her ear obviously back to calling Justin again the pair couldn’t be far away from each it appeared.

This makes me think about how I have seen Joe a lot since I found out who he was but my case was different we weren’t a couple or anything it was just two people hanging out.

“I feel sick.” Casey alerts us by standing up and rushing away from the table the night had finally caught up with her.

“I better go check on her.” Gina stands up smiling at me because this signalled that I and Joe would be sitting alone together.

“That guy is still at the bar.” Joe states as I watch him sadly put his checked shirt back on but then I panicked as I wondered if he was going leave the bar.

“I still need help.” I tell Joe hoping that he would stick around for a little while longer and explain to me what I needed to do next because what had happened between me and him earlier was just practice.

“Well your time is now.” Joe smirks looking to right of him where I see a woman with long deep purple coloured hair wave at him as he continues to grin.

“Ok.” I snap my fingers in his face ignoring the woman who gives me a look as I beg Joe to give me an idea so I could approach that guy and not have it fail in the first few seconds.

“Just go up there.” Joe smiles whilst his mind it appears is elsewhere as he looks back at the woman who was distracting my lesson.

“What if he doesn't like me?” I tell Joe in a small voice suddenly feeling pretty vulnerable.

Picking up the tone in my question Joe turns back at me “It is his loss if he doesn't”  
“But-“

“Go over there and make the first move.” Joe states cutting me off then adds “Act on impulse but try and be yourself not over the top.” 

“That is terrible advice.” I retort.

“Works for me.” Joe informs me sagely.

“Ok I can do this.” I nod standing up from the table readjusting my handbag on my shoulder and flicking my curly hair to one side I start to walk.

“Go get him tiger.” I swear I hear Joe say to my retreating back but I may have just imagined it.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

You know in the movies when the main character is walking in super slow motion and it appears like everything is merging together this was happening to me right now…unless it was the beer I had drunk causing the room to blur around me.

What feels like hours later but was only in fact seconds I have reached my destination at the bar next to the guy who hasn’t seen me yet so it was time to set this plan into motion.

Standing my full height in heels which gave me a few more inches to work with I lean across the guy and grab the wine menu in front of him and I watch as he turns round to look at me.

The guy smiles at me but I reward him instead with the briefest of looks then pretend to scan the wine menu like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

Feeling nervous I lick my bottom lip resisting the urge to look back up at the guy who had a pretty cute smile and face to match but I was trying to appear un-interested here not desperate.

Seconds later a hand appears in front of me pointing towards a particularly expensive wine and quickly looking up I see that nice smile grin back at me and I can hear cheering in the background which matched my mood.

“That is a great wine.” The guy informs me his deep friendly voice sending chills down me but that could just be the fact that my body was on high alert right now.

“I am not sure it is that special an occasion for such an expensive bottle.” I joke looking up into the guys dark eyes watching as he readjusts his black thick framed glasses.

“So this isn’t a reunion then?” Questions the guy with a smirk.

“I’m not sure.” I reply because even up close I felt like I recognised this guy in front of me.

“I am hurt.” The guy places a hand to his chest whilst covering the other over his eyes almost as if it looks like he was truly upset right now.

“Have we met before?” I question not mentioning that I recognized him in case it did sound a little weird see I could take Joe’s advice.

“Rouge bar, yesterday.” The guy winks at me “I was surprised you was single.”

“I remember you.” I tell the guy as the dots are connected and it makes me smile.

This was the guy who was with his friend sitting at the table next to myself and my mum who had been desperately getting me to talk to one of them.

“Glad to hear it.” The guy laughs happily at me then adds “I’m Rob.”

“Riley.” I nod feeling a little awkward when the guy leans forward and kisses me on the cheek.

Looking behind me back at the table where my friends were now back I spy Joe watching me without a readable expression on his face but that wasn’t what mattered right now.

“I wish I had stayed with you at the bar last night.” Rob tells me whilst looking forlorn.

If that had happened then I would not have gotten to hang out with Joe and his friends which was an awesome surprise but I was going to burst this guy’s bubble.

“But isn’t it lucky that we have met again now?” I ask Rob who nods eagerly.

“I am so glad.” Rob state checking me out then adds “Are you alone?”

“I am here with some friends.” I blindly point to the table behind me.

“The one with the dude glaring at me?” Rob questions making me turn round.

“Joe’s just a friend.” I wave my hand flippantly when I see Casey nudge him in the ribs and he turns around to face her.

“Well that is good to hear.” Rob nods at me “I would like you all to myself tonight.”

“Oh I-“

“Let me buy you that bottle of wine.” Rob tells me leaning into his grey tailored trousers pocket for his wallet.

“That is sweet.” I reply feeling a little awkward all over again from the attention.

“Only if I can get your number first.” Rob states with a sexy grin.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Exchanging numbers whilst Rob chats easily to the bartender who had been totally ignoring me earlier I try to remain calm when all that I wanted to do was run around and cheer.

“So.” Rob turns round replacing his wallet he then asks me “That guy in the checked shirt isn’t like your boyfriend or anything?”

This stops my happy thoughts dead because why did everyone assume that I had history with Joe we were just friends so I voice this to Rob who nods appearing pleased with my answer.

“I cannot wait to call you.” Rob states whilst winking at me making my happiness reappear in full force.

“It’s a date.” I smile back at Rob secretly hoping that he will actually call me.

“So this is yours.” Rob hands me the tray with the expensive wine on it one that I could not pronounce but it was a rich red and was a very cool gesture.

“Thank you.” I smile back holding the tray tightly with both hands.

“I’m one of the good guys.” Rob winks at me.

“I will have to make it up to you.” I reply in a flirty tone.

“Cannot wait.” Rob smiles at me leaning down to kiss me again on the cheek whilst I wonder if I move my face slightly to the left will could kiss me on the lips just as easily.

But this remains a fantasy as Rob moves away from me and asks me if I like galleries and bars I nod of course and he tells me that is great news.

I watch Rob looking at me whilst I not so secretly check him out myself taking in his short brown hair shaved at the sides with messy spikes at the top and seeing just how great the suit he was wearing fitted him.

“I better get back to my friends.” Rob tells me placing a hand on my shoulder then adds “But I will totally call you because you’ve made my night meeting you again.”

“I will hold you to that.” I state with a cheeky smile.

“I look forward to it.” Rob tells me backing away into the crowd with a small wave which I cannot reciprocate or I will drop the tray and that would just be a waste of alcohol.

Turning round I head closer to my friends who upon seeing me begin to cheer and even Joe gives me a sexy grin which makes me smile.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

“I’ve got booze.” I smirk waving the tray in front of me.

“And digits?” Questions Joe and I nod back him.

“See I told you.” Joe shrugs at me as I sit down in the empty chair next to him rolling my eyes.

“Well it is all because of you.” I tell Joe placing my hands together in gratitude.

“Ok no need to be sarcastic.” Joe grins back.

My heart reaches my mouth when I see Kirk has made a reappearance at our table looking at Joe with a very bemused expression on his face.

“Hello everyone.” Kirk waves his hands excitedly making Gina laugh at him it appeared she was in fact hooked and it wasn’t just a momentary lapse in her judgement.

“Hi I’m Kirk.” The guy in question tells Joe with a smile as he nods back at him.

“This is Joe.” Gina states then adds “A friend of Riley’s.”

“Oh I see. “ Kirk laughs whilst I completely miss the point.

“Been telling your new friend about me?” Joe aims this question at me with a grin.

“Of course.” I dead pan back hoping that the teasing will cease when I pour out some wine instead.

“I was trying to see how good at flirting Riley was.” Kirk smirks at Joe then adds “But her mind was elsewhere.”

Oh god why did everybody want to annoy me all the time I knew where he was going with this and I was sure that Gina was the culprit who was encouraging all this.

“I saw the smile on her face when you two were talking.” Kirk explains.

“Riley can’t get enough of me.” Joe winks at me whilst I think about kicking his leg under the table so he would shut up.

“So why was she flirting with that poser at the bar?” Questions Casey looking a little better than she had earlier.

“We’re not exclusively dating-“

Both me and Joe talk at the same time making Kirk laugh whilst I sneak a glance at the guy next to me noticing that he must be feeling as awkward as me because he is running a hand through his messy hair.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

“So you’re not jealous then?” Gina asks Joe with a grin.

“Of course Riley is hot.” States Joe making me blush and Gina laugh excitedly.

“Will you two go on another date?” Casey asks in between staring at her phone.

“I am busy.” I tell Casey before Joe can reply.

“Sure we've had a couple of dates already.” Joe tells everyone then adds “But it was just like hanging out with an old friend.” 

“Friends who make out.” Jokes Gina sarcastically.

Joe gives me a sidelong look as I avoid catching his gaze because I just knew he was grinning and now I was thinking about Joe kissing me which was all kinds of inappropriate.

“I like making out with you.” Joe tells me in my ear leaning his arm across the back of my chair talking quietly because it appeared that we had been forgotten about.

Kirk was staring at Gina like he was the cat who had all the cream and then some whilst she was enjoying the attention as usual.

“Stop teasing me.” I tell Joe not for the first time since we had met again.

“I mean it.” Joe nods at me even though a huge grin was playing around his soft lips.

Casey is wiggling her eyebrows at me pretending to listen to our conversation which I hope she cannot hear even though she is trying to lean over the table closer to the two of us.

“Well that will have to stop.” I tell Joe out of the side of my mouth “I’ve met Rob now.”

“Thanks to me.” Joe laughs at my face “I should get more than just a thank you.”

“That will never happen.” I grin back at Joe knowing full well what he was leading towards.

Casey who is now apparently bored with me and Joe decides to pour out some of the wine but gives up pretty soon to drink it from the bottle instead.

“Hey!” Gina snaps at Casey who has a tight hold on the wine bottle.

I shake my head and watch as the pair wrestle over the bottle spilling a lot of the wine all over the already messy table.

Joe silently stands up and swiftly removes the bottle from Casey’s hands whilst she stares up at him in surprise like she could not believe he just did that to her.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Gina takes the bottle from Joe and proceeds to drink from it herself just as Casey’s phone begins to buzz which signalled that it was most probably Justin calling to see how she was again.

Joe was now not quite looking me in the eye maybe he felt a little ashamed about what he had said earlier to me because he sure picked his moments to flirt.

Anyway tonight marked the third number I had gotten from a guy which was a good start because I had started from nothing and finally I was getting somewhere or so I hoped.

Rob just had to message me I could not deal with someone not trying to get into contact with me like the guy I had met at the park called Logan who made me cautious because he hadn't called me.

Sure I could have phoned him but thanks to my confidence being in shreds I took his silence and moved on because that was what cowards do.  
I hated being my own worst enemy but I knew a hell of a lot of people used that to describe themselves because I did all the time.

Back at the table Casey was glued to her phone whilst Kirk and Gina were resuming that game of tonsil tennis whilst Joe was shouting across our table to the next one at the girl with the purple hair.

That damn jealous feeling resurfaces in my stomach as I watch Joe talk to the girl who had moved closer to him dragging her chair all the way over.

But I could not care less I remind myself so I look away and see Casey staring at me because she most probably had caught me watching Joe in action.

“I think Justin is going to meet me.” Casey informs me whilst I pour out the remaining red wine in the bottle despite hating it I needed a little pick me up before I left the bar.

“Well.” Joe places a hand on my elbow acknowledging me and I see the look the purple haired girl gives me before she walks off.

“Not your type?” I ask Joe who grins at me.

“I have no type.” Joe retorts “Plus I am really tired from work.”

“Off your game tonight then.” I nod in understanding making Joe poke me playfully.

“I am always ready to flirt.” Joe states then stands from his chair and I follow suit because I could not sit here all night watching Gina and Kirk make out.

It is decided that Casey will find Justin apparently on the way home as she is crashing at the apartment whilst Gina is heading back with Kirk I hope to god she doesn’t call me to rescue her again later on.

“I can walk you guys home.” Joe tells me and Casey who is walking off to leave shouting out her boyfriend’s name which I was sure she wouldn't recognises because it had been so long since they had last seen each other.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Ok that was a little bitchy but Casey was a terrible drunk and whenever she was it was Justin who she always wanted to hold back her hair or help her get to bed.

I guess when you have been together as long as they have with their own little world where it was just them living out their relationship whilst I always sounded bitter and there I go over analysing stuff again.

Waving goodbye to Gina and Kirk who kisses both me and Casey on the cheek they head left whilst we decide to go right following Casey who was walking far ahead.

“Should we get a cab?” I ask Joe because I felt bad for him being tired and dragging him out but it had only been a message I sent him yet here he was.

“It isn’t that far.” Joe shakes his head at me then adds “I bet Casey is already there.”

I laugh at this comment because looking up I see she is still ahead and what looks like her phone is still firmly attached to her ear.

But then I see Casey walk directly into a woman with long blonde hair and it looks like they are shouting at one another I glance at Joe shaking my head.

“What’s going on?” I ask the woman who appears to be just as intoxicated as Casey and the pair are throwing insults at each other with ease.

“This bitch walked into me!” The blonde yells in a high pitched whine which annoys the hell out for me.

“Don’t call my friend a bitch.” I snap back suddenly feeling in a fighting mood as I notice Casey steps back right into Joe.

“What are you going to do about it slut?” The blonde shakes her head at me giving me a nasty look.

“Back the fuck away from me.” I state usually hating confrontations but it appeared I was filled with drunken confidence whilst sticking up for Casey.

“Move aside.” The blonde places a hand on my shoulder trying to move me away from her which makes me instinctively grab her arm and next thing I know we are fighting.

I step back when the blonde slaps me round the face as Joe catches me and he tells me to stop and the blonde moves as he pushes me past her.

“That’s it hide behind your boyfriend!” Yells the blonde whilst laughing at me.

I try to break free from Joe’s grip as he holds me around the waist against his body so I yell back until my throat hurts.

“You can put me down now.” I tell Joe who was still holding onto me long after the bitch blonde was gone.

“Sure.” Joe finally lets me go then I step back into him as Casey grabs me into a hug and I feel him holding onto my shoulders briefly.

“Tell Justin what happened!” Casey states handing me her phone but the call had long ended.

“He isn’t there.” I tell Casey who snatches her phone back continuing to walk off again.

“You ok?” Joe questions as I smile and nod back.

“Fine.” I tell him sarcastically “I like getting into fights with drunk women.” 

“I had your back.” Joe laughs at me “But it looked like you had it under control.”

“Damn right.” I state then add “I look after my friends”

“She slapped you pretty hard.” Joe tells me rubbing a hand across my cheek making the red patch of skin feel even hotter.

“I’m ok.” I explain even though I felt anything but feeling Joe’s thumb brush across my bottom lip whilst I had to resist the urge to suck on it.

“You should invite Joe back to the apartment.” Casey cuts in interrupting the moment between us as I find myself giggling nervously whilst Joe moves his hand away from my face.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

But before either of us could answer Casey almost falls over so I hold out my arm for her to grab on just as her fucking phone rings yet again so I decided to walk ahead with her I did not want Joe to see what effect he had on me because even though my face still stung that was all but forgotten as I remembered the way he was looking down at me.

My underwear was both twisted in a knot and soaking wet thanks to that one meaningless look which had made me feel hot all over and if Casey had not appeared then we would totally be kissing right now.

I secretly hoped that Rob made me feel like that on our date because no matter how Joe looked at me usually a lot of my thoughts surrounding him ended up back in the bedroom or on our couch which was something I would tell no one.

Resisting the urge not to turn round I half listen to Casey on the phone as we continue to walk about twenty minutes ahead and I am so glad when I see the apartment from a short distance.

“Hey wait up.” I hear Joe shout as I had been trying to ignore him only looking behind me three times to see that sexy grin of his almost making me drop Casey.

“Oh my god! “ Casey shouts in my ear deafening me a little as I look up to see her running towards the apartment where Justin stood by the main door to the three storey block.

“Looks like she has finally found her prince charming.” Joe explains with a grin.

“I guess he is staying over as well.” I deadpan back.

“Well you could always come back to mine again?” Joe questions but I firmly shake my head.

“That would be a bad idea.” I tell him with a smile.

“Why would it be-“

“Kiss her Joe!” Casey screams cutting into whatever Joe was about to ask me we had stopped a little way from the large red door to the apartment block where Justin was trying to grab his girlfriend to shut her up hopefully.

“I hate drunk Casey.” I tell Joe shaking my head.

“Why?” Joe grins at me then adds “I was just thinking the same thing.”

“What’s that?” I ask even though I knew the answer clearly.

“Tell Joe about your sex list!” I hear Casey yell at the top of her lungs making me close my eyes in embarrassment.

“You’re what?” I hear Joe question picking up on the surprise in his voice.

“I am going to kill her.” I snap opening my eyes I look over at Casey who is waving her hands excitedly at me.

“Don’t do that.” Joe tells me with a grin.

“Casey was joking about the list.” I state hoping Joe would forget this conversation come tomorrow.

“It sounds interesting.” Joe gives a sexy smile. 

“Ok maybe when I am sober I will explain.” I grin “But it is all a joke.”

“I bet there isn’t anything especially exciting on there.” Joe shakes his head at me “Just that you want to maybe have sex somewhere else other than in the bedroom.”

“I have you know I am exciting-“

“Ah so I have struck a nerve?” Joe questions teasing me as I try to push him away but miss his shoulder completely.

“Please shut up.” I tell him with a small smile.

“Kiss her, kiss her!” Yells Casey and even Justin has joined in so now I hated him as well.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

“I better let Casey into the apartment-“

Joe cuts off the rest of that sentence by kissing it away pulling me closer to him which I accept because in heels I could wrap my arms around his neck easier as I feel his hands stroke my lower back.

I can hear shouting behind me which has probably woken up somebody right now but none of that matters not even the fact that I met Rob this evening because this was something that I wanted.

Leaning into Joe’s body his hands move down to my ass stroking over my curves then his thumbs brush the backs of my thighs making me weak at the knees.

This was good practice I tell myself stupidly but right now I did not care who I was making out with the contact with guy was something I missed late at night whilst laying alone in bed.

Hearing a loud beep of someone’s horn from a passing car splits us apart as I quickly move away but seeing the look that Joe was giving me right now I was so close to wrapping myself around him again.

But standing my ground I decide that there must be a reason why we kept getting interrupted it was not meant to go no further than us just pretending.

Sure I was enjoying kissing Joe because he was really good at it and that thing he did with his tongue kind of drove me a little crazy.

Noticing the smile Joe was giving me whilst he brushed some hair behind one of his ears I feel like I have to say something but he beats me to it instead.

“We really need to stop doing that.” Joe smiles at me lazily.

This changes my mood from flirty to realistic in an instant because I agree with him but I would be a liar if I didn't say that I suddenly felt a little disappointed.

“I agree.” I state trying to hide the anger in my voice because I had been stupid enough to let it get this far which was a terrible idea.

“What’s wrong?” Joe questions seeing that I am totally transparent and he can see right through me knowing exactly how I felt right now.

“I know where we stand ok.” I point from him to me then add “This is all fake but you cannot keep grabbing and kissing the heck out of me.”

“Why are you being funny?” Joe questions which does not improve my mood.

“Look I hopefully will have a date soon.” I tell Joe wishing that the more I said the more it was to come true and Rob would actually call me.

“So you want to end all of this?” Joe asks.

“What us being friends.” I retort sarcastically.

“Of course not.” Joe tells me then reaching for my hand I let him take it “I just care about you a lot.”

“Enough to get jealous?” I question speaking before I think seeing the look in Joe’s eyes which make me feel like a huge bitch.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Letting go of my hand Joe turns round and silently walks back in the direction where we had just walked and wondered why did I feel like the bad person here?

It was Joe who was being super flirty with me all the time which I noted he was like around a lot of women and only once did I initiate a kiss between us and that was just to make his ex-jealous.

Was I looking too far into all this even though Joe was acting a lot more like a real boyfriend than a fake one which was just confusing me even more.

Joe had turned the corner now onto another street and I resisted the urge to run after him because this hadn’t been an argument between a couple just two friends who needed to get their boundaries in check.

“Where has Joe gone?” I hear Casey yell which makes my blood boil.

“He isn’t my boyfriend.” I snap storming over towards the front of the apartment block where Justin was holding onto my friend tightly in a hug.

“Well you could have fooled me.” Casey tells me then adds “He really likes you.”

“This is real life not high school!” I retort hearing my voice rise as I yell.

“You are so blind.” Casey shakes her head at me firmly.

“You need to leave me alone.” I tell Casey “Your life is just being attached to Justin but right now I am thinking about myself and that is that Joe means nothing.”

“That is a lie.” Casey snorts at me moving away from Justin.

“Just leave me the fuck alone ok!” I shout feeling bad instantly because I never yell at Casey so this evening had gotten to me for all the wrong reasons.

“Ok let’s calm down.” Justin tells both me and Casey who looks like she is about to cry because she had a very soft centre.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

I meanwhile had both a hard exterior and centre which wasn’t going to get knocked down in a hurry because I never wanted to get played again so this called for being myself even if it meant being a bitch sometimes.

Silently opening the front door we climb up a flight of stairs then I unlock our door whilst I can hear soft sobs coming from Casey and I head to my bedroom slamming the door hard behind me.

Joe’s comments hit me hard making me see clearly because we were not tied at the waist like Casey and Justin but the difference was that they both loved each other and we were just friends.

I did not want to talk to anyone right now so I turn on my old alarm clock radio leaving it on low as I switch the light off above my bed then fall into an uneasy sleep whilst still wearing my dress.

Waking up the next morning with a headache that matched my mood I crawl out from my bed heading into the living room to see that both Casey and Justin had gone so I was here all alone.

Remembering what had happened in the early hours of this morning I still felt like I had no reason to apologise just yet because everybody was invading in my life no wonder I went postal last night.

One of the two good things about last night was meeting that guy Rob again and of course Joe kissing me because the guy sure knew how to seduce women even ones who were supposed to be his friends.

Still obviously in a funk I focus on making myself a black coffee and deciding that I should go running this week because it always helped me to see things in perspective.

Just as I am about to get changed out from the dress I had worn last night and somehow managed to sleep in I hear my mobile phone ring and instinctively decide to pick it up.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

“Hello!” My mum chirps at me happily down the phone almost making me want to hiss in form of a reply.

“Hi.” I state not wanting to sound like how I felt which was tired and pissed off.

“Someone sounds happy.” Mum replies then asks “Did you have fun last night?”

“I will get back to you on that.” I retort regretting that I even answered the phone in the first place.

“Well I had lots of fun.” Mum informs me almost smugly but I could have imagined that.

“I am in a shitty mood.” I tell my mum but she doesn't hear me.

“I really like the pace that Greendale moves at.” Mum states instead and I think that I would love to be anywhere but here right now.

Mum talks through my silence so I let her tell me about how great the theatre was and the show that they saw but it did not top the after party apparently.

“Lilly knows someone so we managed to sneak backstage.” Mum tells me as she reels off a list of all the people she met and who played who on the show.

“Sounds like you had fun.” I repeat what my mum said earlier to move the conversation along or I would be sitting here all day on the couch.

“Well you are in a shitty mood.” Mum tells me down the line like I was unaware of how I felt.

“Yes I am.” I state “It all went wrong last night.”

“Have you messed things up with Joe?” Questions my mum.

“Last night did not go plan entirely and I shouted at Casey.” I tell mum explaining more about how I had yelled at one of my best friends and now the guilt was beginning to set in.

“Well you want my advice?” My mum asks me whilst I shake my head then feeling bad nod instead.

“Shoot.” I tell her thinking I can take it.

“Well you always have a way of making life so much harder than it should be Riley.” Mum tells me which was the understatement of the decade and one I did not need to hear because I knew it to be true.

“Just try to enjoy life more making it how you want it to be no complications or over thinking needed.” Mum tells me softly and her voice comforts me for a few moments.

“If this is all about Joe then you should go out there and get him.” Mum states ruining the moment.

“It isn’t because of Joe I feel like this.” I tell her which was partly true because I don’t know where last night had left us was it all fun or was Joe jealous of Rob so he decided to turn his charms up to eleven.

“I am sorry you and Casey had an argument.” Mum speaks breaking into my thoughts.

“We will get over it.” I tell her because we usually did whenever we fell out that was what friends did.

I knew that both Casey and Gina had my backs and I loved them for it but sometimes I just wanted to figure stuff out in time and I also needed to remind myself to burn that idiotic sex list too.

Unless Rob proved to be a lucky candidate one who could help be fulfil the list then I had to choose someone else I think I was realising that I was far too fussy.

“Come meet me at Upside Down for brunch?” Mum asks me.

“I am tired-“

“It will be the last time I get to see you for a while because I am heading back to Colby later.” Mum cuts me off then telling me that she needs to impart some more advice like I need more reason to mope.

“OK I will meet you in about an hour.” I tell mum who had successfully played me the guilt card.

“Knowing you it will be three hours until I see you.” Mum laughs even though the statement was pretty true.

“Very funny mum.” I retort hanging up the phone deciding I needed to reach out to my friends and work on some damage control from last night.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Sending a message to Casey I tell her that we need to talk and I will call her or she is welcome to come round and watch me beg for her forgiveness. 

Changing finally out from the lace dress that I worse last night I grab a pair of dark green skinny jeans and a black vest deciding that I looked as good as I felt.

Briefly I wonder if Joe will be at work but I could easily avoid him somehow maybe hide behind my mum or aunt Lilly until I was ready to talk to him.

Last night I had felt the same way as Joe whilst we kissed just two people caught up in stupid moment lips locked together wishing that I could blame booze for what happened but Joe had hardly drunk at all.

In the mirror I take off last night’s make up and decide on going barefaced placing my hair into a high ponytail on top of my head making me look a bit like the top of a pineapple.

Joe had totally thrown me with that flyaway comment which had stuck about how us kissing had been wrong even though it was him who had made the first move.

It appeared neither of us had a clue what we were doing as friends right now but I guess I had to agree with Joe that we needed some boundaries between us even though I did enjoy flirting with the guy.

Joe had a way of making me feel good and important whenever he spoke or gave me one of his sexy looks that usually made me lose my concentration but I wasn’t going to admit that to no one but myself.

All these thoughts were not improving my headache right now so I told myself to shut up and enjoy meeting up with my mum because it will be a while until I see her again.

Sure mum will call me usually at the worst time of day when I was busy but it was always good to see her even though I sometimes told myself otherwise.

Walking into Upside Down I see my aunt behind the bar wearing black sunglasses with her grey hair on top of her head in a tight bun.

On closer inspection I see she is talking to my mum who is sitting at my favourite seat both of them drinking tall glasses of fresh orange juice which I bet had vodka in them.

“Hello ladies.” I smile as my mum looks up at me.

“Don’t talk so loud.” Lilly groans at me lowering her sunglasses so I can see her wink.

“Looks like somebody had fun last night.” I tell them both because my mum looked super tired even though she was made up as usual and still managed to look great.

“What about you?” Questions Lilly with a wide smile “I hear a lot happened last night.”

“I met a guy. “ I tell them laughing as my mum begins to cheer and Lilly shouts at her to shut the hell up.

“So is that why Joe-“

“Do you remember those guys who were sitting next to us at Rouge?” I aim this question at my mum cutting off whatever my aunt was about to say.

“The two sitting at the next table?” Mum asks and I nod.

“His name is Rob and we exchanged numbers.” I explained happily.

“So did Joe come by to the bar last night?” Lilly asks me with a smile.

“How did you know-“

“I know everything.” My aunt tells me then adds “It must be your fault then that Joe is in a terrible mood.” 

“So you did have a good night then?” Questions my mum who continues to ask me about last night ignoring my aunt who is giving me a funny look.

“It isn’t my fault that Joe is pissed off.” I state still pretty much attached to my shitty mood too.

“I bet he is jealous about this Rob guy.” Mum informs me knowingly.

“He has no reason to we are just friends.” I snap back looking away as I notice Elise appearing behind the bar as I take a seat next to my mum dropping my handbag to my feet.

“Do you want a drink?” Questions Elise and I nod saying just a black coffee.

“You look like shit.” Elise tells me making me roll my eyes.

“A good night gone bad.” I retort hopefully not having to recount the night for everybody because I wasn’t in no mood for reminiscing.

“Could you go and work your magic on Joe?” Elise questions making me glare at her.

“He won’t listen to me.” I tell her because I was almost starting to believe that it was my fault that Joe was in such a bad mood.

“Joe hangs onto your every word.” Elise grins at me “The guy has it bad.”

Ignoring that comment I tell Elise I would like to order some food which my mum agrees to because she still felt a little sick from all of the alcohol that was consumed last night.

“I am never drinking again.” Lilly vows making me laugh at her as she takes off her sunglasses placing them onto the bar.

“That is a huge lie.” I retort making Lilly nod honestly.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

Listening to my mum and aunt talk about last night distracts me enough to not think about Joe until I think I see him but that was me just being paranoid and suddenly feeling really guilty.

Maybe it was because I had accused Joe of being jealous myself even though he had spoken freely to me about us to stop making out despite the fact he had said that he liked me whatever that meant.

Surely it was us just being friend’s maybe we should hold back on all of the flirting for a while because I was confused and apparently so was Joe remembering how he had stormed off last night.

The chef Jake two brings out my eggs on powdered toast alongside my mum’s pile of pancakes which she licks her lips at and devours eagerly even before he has placed the plate down.

“Have you seen Joe today?” Jake two asks me which means his mood must be bad because this guy very rarely spoke to anyone besides Jake one and occasionally Lilly.

“I am not talking to him.” I explain to Jake two ignoring the look from Lilly and my mum.

“Ah.” Jake two nods then walks off placing me even deeper into a bad mood.

Finishing my food I down my black coffee fast before I change my mind deciding that I really should go and see Joe because if my mum mentions it one more time I will totally freak out.

Standing up from the stool I see Lilly and my mum smile at me as I try to remain calm grabbing my handbag then heading round to the back.

“Good luck.” I overhear Lilly yell at me whilst I am thinking that this could be an awful idea.

Walking passed the bar towards the kitchen I ignore the look that both Jake's give me when I see Joe moving a bunch of empty barrels to the cellar.

“Hey.” I say to Joe in a small voice.

It appears the guy in question either never heard me or I was in fact being ignored which felt much worse and I wish was not true.

I then notice Max passing by me and he has a huge smile plastered on his face which worries me because he was almost as bad as everyone else when it came to interfering.

“Your girlfriend’s here.” Max tells Joe whilst I widen my eyes then glare at him.

“I am not his-“

“Can you give us a moment?” Joe asks turning round not looking me in the eye.

“Sure.” Max gives me a look but leaves us alone anyway.

Joe looks at me like I am the last person he wants to see right now but I guess I had more than one person that I needed to apologise to.

“I am so sorry about last night.” I tell Joe hearing the pleading in my voice.

“No problem.” Joe states with a shrug then adds “We are still friends but I guess that is all we will always be.”

“Of course we are friends.” I tell him with a smile ignoring the rest of that comment because it threw me off.

“Well I have something to tell you.” Joe explains placing down one of the barrel in his hands.

“Shoot.” I smile trying to not pay attention to the butterflies in my stomach wondering what Joe had meant when he said that we could be no more than just friends.

“Shona called me last night.” Joe explains with a nonchalant shrug whilst I try to make sense of what he had just said to me.

Max makes a reappearance in the kitchen with a smirk on his face but it drops when he sees me and Joe probably sensing all of the tension in the room.

I watch as Max silently walks away whilst I stand there unsure how to take the news that Joe had just told me because he had just placed a huge dampener on us pretending to be together.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 

To our friends we were getting along fine despite Joe's moods both of us enjoying all of the flirting taking place but now it appeared that Joe was trying to make me jealous but I told myself that I would not feel it.

“Good for you.” I tell Joe in between laughing awkwardly.

“It isn’t-“

“So I have Rob.” I state hopefully then add “That means you can do whatever you want.”

I meant that because Joe was obviously trying to either push me away or let me down gently so from now on I knew where we stood.

“What I want is-“

“I’m leaving.” I cut into Joe once more seeing the annoyance cross his face so I quickly turn round leaving the kitchen.

Walking away I realise that our plan to pretend to date was really stupid because sure Joe had offered me lots of advice but we both had gotten a little carried away.

How could things have changed so quickly from Friday night me hanging out with Joe’s friends and him being super nice to me ruining last night somehow pissing off everybody.

It was me trying to get my life back but my friends found it their mission to tease me and when I finally break not for the first time recently I am seen to be the bad person in this scenario.

Was it my fault that Joe had gone and probably hooked up with his ex-again? 

I needed to just focus on spending the week with the kids I was looking after eagerly awaiting the call from Rob whilst maybe trying to not speak to Joe until things cooled down a little.

It always seemed like we were on the same page because I liked being friends with Joe but then he offered to help me if I helped him pretend to be his date and now we are here.

Neither of us talking or letting the other person know how they truly felt because I did not want Joe to get the wrong idea I wasn’t going to push him away just let us have some space for a bit instead.

I see Max talking to Elise with his arms wrapped around her waist so I guess everybody knew about them why did they have to make it look so easy?

Quickly saying goodbye to my mum with a swift kiss on the cheek and a wave to my aunt I tell them that I am fine, never better but I needed to go back to the apartment and call Casey for a chat.

I am surprised when my mum lets me go without imparting any more advice on me she can probably see how awful I felt right now because feeling this way on a hangover was a real bitch.

Over complicating things lead to shit like this from now on I would have to be more honest and no playing games especially with Joe even though he informed me many times that he hated doing just that himself.

Did we really all have this under control or was this only the beginning?


	14. Zero Charisma

...........................................................................................................................................................................................................

Calling Casey she answers on the first ring and I ask her if she can come back round to the apartment for a chat with the promise of take away and beer. 

“Sure.” Casey informs me in a plain voice but at least she had agreed.

Heading towards the second nearest Food Links store I grab some beer in there then navigating my way through people getting their Sunday shopping I try to reach a check out but stop in my tracks.

Standing in the end of an aisle I find myself staring at the small chemist within the store and without thinking I grab a plastic blue shopping basket then pushing through the gate I head inside.

Placing the beers in the basket I head directly towards the back where the cashiers were because I needed to get myself some more condoms seeing I had left the ones I bought at Will’s.

Not that it mattered but if I was going to have sex I needed to be prepared ignoring the fact that Joe had totally rebuffed me last night but I had a feeling it was for the best.

I was a single woman soon to be armed with condoms and also the sex list that I did still find a little intriguing even though whenever it was mentioned I went all defensive.

Arriving at my destination there is three shelves dedicated to condoms, lubes, cock rings and everything in between as I hastily grab a pack of twenty four and drop them into my basket.

Hoping not to meet anyone in this Food Links because I would then have to shop for groceries somewhere else and that sounded annoying.

Finally outside I carry the two plastic carrier bags walking back to the apartment preparing what I had to say to Casey because I knew she had been looking out for me it just seemed my friend had a weird way of showing it.

Dropping both my keys and the carrier bags onto the kitchen table I look to see if Gina is around but the place is empty and so I busy myself tidying up the cushions on the couch feeling nervous.

It was great to see Casey having fun last night but I wish she did it a little more without worrying about what Justin was doing and maybe for every beer she had we should let her chase it down with something non-alcoholic.

Casey walks into the apartment giving me a small smile as I sit down on the couch and she follows suit taking off her light green blazer placing it beside her.

“I am so sorry.” I begin wanting to speak first.

“Why are you apologising?” Casey questions then adds “I am the idiot who ruined it with you and Joe.”

“Forget about that.” I brush the comment away because I was sure it was me who fucked that up even more so by going to see him at Upside Down but I could explain about that later.

“Justin told me how loud I was.” Casey pulls an awkward face at me.

“We did have a good time last night.” I inform Casey then say “But you need to be less on your phone and more in the room with us.” 

“I just miss him a lot when he isn’t near me.” Casey tells me looking a little shamefaced.

“Sure.” I nod kind of understanding what she means “But Justin will always be there for you it is ok to take a few hours off to be yourself.”

“Drink less beer as well.” Casey laughs at me.

“Don’t forget I have your back.” I grin making Casey remember that woman from last night who had been equally dunk and she had slapped me on the face.

“No wonder you yelled at me.” Casey states shaking her head.

“I am sorry for that.” I tell her “But Joe was getting to me and I took it out on you.”

“Oh yeah” Casey points a finger at me grinning “I think I even felt that kiss between you two.”

“It was nothing.” I lie because I had enjoyed every second of it and more.

........................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

Hearing the front door slam I look up to see Gina looking at us as Casey is shaking her head at me still with that idiotic grin stuck on her face.

“What have I missed?” Gina questions picking up on the vibe in the room.

“We had an argument last night.” I tell Gina pointing at Casey “But it is all over now so no more drama.”

“I was very drunk last night.” Casey states and we nod in agreement “But Joe tried to eat Riley’s face off when he walked us back to the apartment.”

“Did he now?” Gina questions giving me a look.

“Yeah but it won’t happen any more.” I tell them seriously.

“I think I need a drink to hear this bullshit.” Gina states then asks “Beer?”

“On the kitchen table.” I tell her ignoring Casey who was shaking her head at me.

“Don’t even start,” I inform Casey who giggles back ignoring my threat. 

“What are these?” Gina comes back waving the box of condoms I had bought around in her hand giving me a look.

“Are those for Joe?” Questions Casey giving me a wide eyed look.

“No they are not.” I retort wishing I hadn't been stupid enough to leave them on the kitchen table.

“Joe’s one lucky guy.” Gina winks at me then adds “Good choice getting the large ones.” 

“Please give them to me.” I sigh as Gina chucks them over at me and I sit on them hoping it would all be forgotten.

“It’s good you are planning ahead.” Casey smiles at me.

“Can we just forget about it?” I question angrily.

“You’re so cute when you are angry.” Gina laughs at my face not improving my mood at all. 

“Fuck off!” I snap making Casey laugh loudly.

“Beer time!” Gina quickly heads back to the kitchen then comes back in with beer sitting next to Casey on the couch.

“How was Kirk?” I question distracting myself from my thoughts.

“I will definitely be seeing him again real soon.” Gina states happily then explains how great in the sack he is.

“He was such a jerk.” I tell Gina who rolls her eyes sarcastically.

“I forgot you like guys who play hard to get.” Gina quips back at me.

“We are just friends!” I yell my voice rising with every word.

“Joe isn’t playing hard to get.” Casey laughs then adds “He couldn't be making it any easier!”

“Plus.” Gina states aiming a finger at me “A guy and a girl can never just be friends.”

“That is exactly what Hollywood wants you to believe.” I tell them trying not to grin at the idiocy of this conversation.

“Movies never lie.” Casey states seriously.

“Are you telling me Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan are liars?” Gina questions.

“They are both actors and-“

“Let’s prove it to you.” Gina shouts walking out from the living room whilst I sneak a look at Casey who is back to shaking her head at me I really did have weird friends.

“I need more beer.” I stand up from the couch taking the box of condoms with me chucking them into one of the spare drawers in the kitchen side away from my thoughts.

........................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

Grabbing the rest of the drinks I head back into the living room to see Gina cross legged on the floor with a small pile of DVD’s in front of her.

“What are those?” I question handing Casey a beer who actually puts her phone down to open it up whilst smiling at me now that was progress.

“Films.” Gina tells me non committedly.

“Do we have popcorn?” Asks Casey with a smirk.

“These films will prove what I have just said that a guy and a girl cannot just be platonic friends.” Gina states twisting round on her ass to face me.

“So you mean me and Joe?” I question already knowing the answer but I did like to play dumb to wind up Gina most of the time.

“You need to listen to what Joe is trying to tell you.” Casey shrugs at me.

“Not just with his mouth.” Gina winks at me adding “I can only imagine what he is like in the bedroom.”

“Ok.” I hold my hands up in the air in surrender “This is getting way out of hand.”

“You’ve thought about it haven’t you?” Casey questions catching the smirk on my face.

“No I-“

“Back to my point.” Cuts in Gina “We can watch these movies, order some Chinese food proving to you that whatever you have going on with Joe needs to reach the next level.”

“He is a really cool guy.” Casey informs me with a sidelong look.

“I am so rooting for Joe!” Cheers Gina waving her hand in the air excitedly. 

“What films are we watching exactly?” I question ignoring my friends who think they are so funny.

“When Harry Met Sally obviously.” Gina holds up the DVD to show me “Then some more modern romcoms which will prove my point making you want to go running to Joe.”

“Don’t forget I met Rob last night.” I remind my friends who nod.

“But did you end up making out with him?” Questions Casey.

“Of course I didn't-“

“So Joe took the initiative.” Gina cuts me off.

“Can we please just order some food?” I whine it was early evening and I needed to try and relax possibly make a few notes maybe taking Gina’s advice because look where it got her.

Casey calls for food whilst I only half listen to the lecture Gina is currently giving me as she places the disc in the DVD player then stands up to sit next to me on the couch.

“You’re playing being single all wrong.” Gina states as I give her a confused look in return.

“I didn't know there was a wrong way of being single.” I retort sarcastically.

“But Joe must really have a thing for you sticking around trying to make his move.” Gina tells me twisting the knife.

“That is what friend’s do hang out.” I inform Gina getting annoyed because this conversation was getting old quickly.

“You are so blind.” Casey grins placing her phone down beside her inform us that food will be here in forty minutes.

“Let’s just watch the movie then.” I ask pleadingly.

Finally Gina presses play on the remote and I find my thoughts going elsewhere funnily enough back to Joe who I liked as a friend but I guess there shouldn't be any more funny business between us.

“I love this movie.” Casey swoons at me smiling.

“I did.” I grin at Gina whilst asking “Can you stop talking over it?”

“We are watching it for you.” Gina snorts back at me.

“Proving a point that isn’t there.” I retort watching my friend’s faces.

“Don’t forget the bet is hotter now than ever.” Casey smirks.

“All bets are off.” I tell them trying to focus on the film.

“The bet has gotten far more interesting.” Gina nods.

“You guys can never keep your hands off one another.” Casey laughs.

“Foods here!” I announce a little while later when I hear a loud knock on the door and Gina jumps up from the couch to answer it.

“Joe was so cute walking us home.” Casey begins pausing the film.

“Yes he was.” I tell my friend nodding back.

“Is he a good kisser?” Questions Casey.

I smile to myself remembering Joe’s lips on mine which makes Casey’s face light up as she catches my reaction to her million dollar question.

“I take that smile as a resounding hell yes!” Casey laughs whilst I bite my lip trying not to blush.

All sitting on the floor around the coffee table I resume the movie as we sit munching on our food listening to words of wisdom from Gina which makes me both laugh and cringe at the same time.

........................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

Casey choose the next film that we will watch which is “My Best Friend’s” Wedding which makes me roll my eyes at my friends.

“Well for starters I am sure Joe isn’t getting married any time soon.” I tell Casey who shrugs at me.

“But he is going to be your date for an engagement party.” Gina grins at me whilst I moan.

“I haven’t mentioned it to him yet.” I tell Gina who slaps me on the arm pretty hard.

“But didn't you tell Will and his fiancé that Joe was the guy you was seeing?” Casey questions.

“I do see him often.” I dead pan making Gina go to hit me again but I move just in time.

“The guy needs to know.” Gina states and I nod mumbling that I will tell him.

“Unless Rob will go with me instead.” I smirk happy with my back up plan.

“So he pretends to be Joe.” Gina scoffs at me as I shake my head back.

“I could see how jealous Joe looked when you was talking to Rob.” Casey grins.

“Stop lying.” I tell them ignoring the small amount of pleasure I get from knowing that piece of information.

“Well you look happy.” Grins Casey making me look away from her paying attention to the TV instead.

The rest of the night is followed by two more films until Gina leaves me and Casey chatting then we both fall asleep together on the couch with the drama of earlier today truly forgotten about.

........................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

It is early Monday afternoon and the sunshine meant business as I curse to myself when some rays dart across my eyes making me wish I had picked up my sunglasses. 

Today Demi had picked up Zoe from school because she usually finished earlier than Harley who did not seem to mind so I headed straight for their house ready to work.

Well if you could call hanging out with a five year old work but I was surprised to still see Demi around as she informed me that Lawrence and their staff had the store under control so she was free.

“I still have some paperwork to do.” Demi smiles at me “But I will be here in the kitchen if either of you need me.” 

“Let’s go into the garden.” Zoe tells me grabbing my arm she almost pulls it out from the socket as I follow her back out into the warm sun.

The back yard is as beautiful as the house itself walking out the opened French doors onto a small patio area complete with a large BBQ and a long wooden table that stood in the middle.

Watching Zoe rush down the three steps onto the green grass I notice the two long flower beds either side of the yard filled high with colourful flowers half of which I could not even begin to name.

A large oak tree stood proudly at the end but I see Zoe stop at the tall trampoline which had netting around it expertly climbing onto it waving at me as I grin back.

It was so peaceful out here even though the street boasted a couple of bars and that tasty looking bakery which I needed to go and check out soon but it felt like we were miles away from anywhere busy.

“Come and play!” Zoe yells at me as I walk nearer to the trampoline.

“Am I allowed?” I ask as Zoe giggles then nods back.

With as much grace as I could in a yellow summer dress which matched the garden perfectly I kick off my black sandals then climb up on my knees onto the trampoline.

“I play on the trampoline at my school.” Zoe tells me happily bouncing up and down making her hair fly around her face.

“You’re really good.” I comment as I gently bounce up and down holding onto the bottom of my dress because I did not want to flash anyone my underwear.

With a little more practice I begin to bounce higher as Zoe teaches me some of her spelling words she has in her morning class telling me she loves words and wants to write a book one day on dinosaurs also cats.

This makes me laugh as the little girls face lights up from my reaction things appeared so simple for Zoe right now which makes me want her never to grow up and just live in his moment.

Being an adult had its perks but I still did not believe that they outweighed the pure enjoyment that kids found in such little things that as grown ups we ignore not even having them register in our minds.

Suddenly bored of the trampoline Zoe leaps off it then heads towards a plastic house where she pulls the door open and heads inside.

“Lemonade and cake time!” Zoe yells poking her head out from the little window waving me over.

“Just a sec.” I tell her climbing down off the trampoline very unattractively placing my sandals back onto my feet.

Walking over I knock on the plastic door that Zoe pushes open handing me a tray which had Styrofoam cake slices and cups with yellow drink in them all fake of course but they did look so cute.

“Don’t eat it all!” Zoe yells from inside the house making me smirk because she knew me all too well already. 

Zoe reappears holding five teddy bears either under her arm or by the head and I watch as she places them on the grass trying to sit them up so I place the tray in the middle of them.

“Mr Hugsworth cannot have any cake.” Zoe whispers to me just in case the bear in question can hear the conversation about him.

Pointing to a light brown bear named Mr Hugsworth he looked like he had been in a very nasty accident because he was covered in bandages.

“Ok.” I tell Zoe moving the Styrofoam strawberry cake away from Mr Hugsworth who almost looked like he was glaring back at me.

“He is still recovering from surgery.” Zoe tells me seriously then adds “He broke his arm and then both his leg.”

“Poor Mr Hugsworth.” I shake my head feeling that both me and the bear were quite a like seeing we both had shit luck.

I sit and listen to Zoe as she introduces me to all the other teddy bears telling me their life story which was short but well lived seeing that Holly and Danny had just come back from a holiday in the sun.

“I thought you two could do a little painting?” Demi asks appearing in front of us with a large blue box and as she places it on the ground I see there is old button shirts in there and lots of painting tools.

“Yeah!” Zoe drops Holly the bear back onto the floor on top of Danny who from the look on his face doesn't look displeased at all.

........................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

Ok I really needed to get a grip of myself blaming the lecture I had gotten from Gina last night after she had found the condoms I had stupidly forgotten about why did I even buy them in the first place.

If I kept feeling sorry for myself I would head straight back towards that downward spiral I was in over a month ago which was somewhere I did not want to be again.

“Help!” Zoe interrupts me from my thoughts waving her hands in my face trying to put on a mini red and white striped shirt backwards so I help her put it on doing up the buttons as she wriggles about.

Taking out a pad I see Demi reappear with a small glass jar filled halfway with water as I watch Zoe take out the palette of paints opening up the case gently biting her tongue she looked like she was in full concentration mode.

“What are you going to draw?” I ask Zoe handing her a pencil and a paint brush.

“Can I draw you?” Zoe looks up at me as I nod.

I pretend to pose in different places until Zoe scolds me to stop moving so I do poking my tongue out at her pulling a stupid face.

“That’s a nice drawing.” Demi smiles down at Zoe as I turn to see her hand me a glass of orange juice that I did not ask for but was grateful because it was really warm today.

“I think I look pretty.” I tell Zoe with a grin.

But the little artist did not answer she was too intent on finishing the picture trying to draw my hair in a plait making it look like long brown spaghetti.

“So did you have a nice weekend?” Demi questions and she must catch the look on my face because a small grin appears as she waits for my reply.

“It was busy.” I tell her simply with a smile.

“But did you have any fun?” Demi pushes then adds “I need to hear some excitement tell me you met someone.”

Before I know it I am re telling the story very briefly telling Demi about my mum and my aunt skipping over some of the Joe parts but mentioning how I had met Rob again and that he will hopefully call me this week.

“So what about this other guy Joe?” Demi questions.

“He is just an old friend.” I tell Demi regretting that I have already said too much I did not want this to become a thing with the woman I worked for.

“Ex-boyfriend?” Probes Demi making me choke on my drink and Zoe laugh as I wipe orange juice from my chin.

“Oh no!” I hold my hands up “He was a guy I knew at college.”

“Can I give you some advice?” Demi asks me just before I knew she was going to give me some enlightening thoughts anyway that would transform me into a sexy goddess who got a lot of dates.

“Shoot.” I smile whilst internally cringing at the same time.

“If a guy is interested in you believe me when I say that you need to just go for it.” Demi tells me with a nostalgic look in her eyes thinking of a moment from her past.

“Rob was totally interested in me.” I nod at Demi who agrees that was encouraging.

“But whilst you are going for it.” Demi grins at me “Don’t forget about the other guys in your life there is a reason why they are still there.”

“Because he is a friend.” I tell Demi firmly wondering if she had been talking to Gina and I was being conspired against.

“He must care for you?” Demi asks me and I nod.

“Well if he is being an idiot just do this.” Demi begins placing her hands over Zoe’s ears who was to absorbed trying to paint my large orange lips that I apparently had making me look more like a fish than Angelina Jolie.

“Cover my hands over his ears?” I dead pan making Demi grin at my stupidly.

“No.” Demi shakes her head at me “Make the first move guys love it when you sit them down and explain exactly what you are going to do to them.”

“Ok.” I tell her wishing the conversation wasn’t real because I could feel my cheeks going red.

“Tell him you want him to take you right there where you stand and make sure you put on a show.” Demi nods at me then Zoe thankfully pushes her mums’ hands from her ears.

“Who does this advice apply to?” I question making Demi laugh at me.

“You need to make that decision.” Demi grins then adds “But it doesn't hurt to try your luck.”

In between Zoe telling me she had finished my painting of me and Demi who sounded like she needed a friend was telling me just get out there because there would come a time when none of that mattered.

“I would love to have my own family one day.” I tell Demi seriously.

“Just don’t go wishing away your twenties just yet.” Demi retorts as I sense the change in her voice.

........................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

Taking the picture Zoe had painted me when I leave early in the evening I wave goodbye to Harley who had been explaining to me about a science project he had been doing where the class had been making paper mache volcanoes.

Walking home I find myself feeling really tired and by the time I have climbed the stairs to the apartment I would just love to curl up outside by the door and just close my eyes.

Instead I grab my keys from my handbag then letting myself in I wave at Gina who was sitting on the couch applying make up into her shell shaped mirror.

“Out with Kirk again?” I question with a smile.

“Of course.” Gina states “I have a social life.”

“I need bed.” I tell Gina yawning just to prove my point.

“Ask Joe if he wants to come and have a sleepover.” Gina laughs at me.

“Go away and have fun!” I tell Gina with a small wave I head to my bedroom closing the door firmly behind me.

It was only half seven at night but I felt like I had been awake for at least two weeks as the full force of the weekend has caught up with me even though I had slept like a baby last night on the couch.

Putting on a pair of light blue soft cotton shorts and pink coloured vest I sit on my bed cross legged grabbing my laptop from the bedside table then signing in I try to keep my eyes open.

Hearing Gina yell something followed by the front door slamming I knew she would not be back until tomorrow so I had the whole place to myself and the possibilities were endless even though all I wanted to do was just sleep.

Deciding that I would take one little peak at Facebook I click on the link then watch as my home page appears on the screen then I notice that I have a friend request.

Recognising the person in the picture instantly I stare at the laptop screen with my mouth hanging open as a million and one questions race through my mind why the hell did Gabi want to be my friend?

The same woman who at one point had taken my ex from me and now she was going to marry him reminding me that I had been invited to the wedding to see this all shoved in my face.

If I was staring in one of those romcom’s we were watching last night I would be sitting here crying or listening to something as awful as Celine Dion but it wasn’t and I had a little bit better taste in music than that.

This could go either way I was an adult after all I could just befriend her on Facebook and have done with it because either way I was going to see a lot of Will and Gabi it appeared this summer.

I had assumed stupidly that when I had gotten dumped it would have been the last ever see of my ex but it seemed clear that he wanted to still ruin mine even when he wasn’t strictly an apart of it.

Leaving it for tomorrow I decide to talk to my friends who I knew would tell me just accept the request but did I really want to see all the happy pictures of the couple on my feed reminding me of how single I was.

........................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

Waking up lazily I open my eyes when I hear a dull thud as something hits the floor and looking down beside my bed I notice it was my laptop I must have fell asleep with it still on my lap.

Sitting up I check the alarm clock to see it was early and that meant I should really go for a run around the park to help clear my head seeing I still hadn't really gotten into a good enough habit of trying to keep fit.

Which reminded me that if I was having sex on the regular then that would constitute as some form of exercise which I knew was a lot more fun than leaving my bed to go running.

Changing into a pair of dark green leggings my amazing sports bra and a loose fitting black vest I head out into the clear new day hoping it would help me shed some light on my current problems.

First things first I had a few great ideas for different art projects which I could do with Harley and Zoe but I felt that Demi may not like them because they involved getting very messy.

I felt a little bad for Zoe when she had gotten told off for getting paint on her shorts as she was drawing me but it had obviously been an accident it was just Demi wanted everything to be perfect.

Neither of her kids could be in her way for too long or in front of the TV either they had strict rules which surprised me because Demi appeared so laid back but there I was judging people all over again.

It was my job to help the kids develop and seeing that they both loved art it was a real good place to start the idea of teaching the something felt rewarding and a nice distraction.

The next thing that bugged me even though it really shouldn't have was that it was Tuesday and Joe had not messaged me or anything sure I knew where to find him but I wasn’t chasing after him.

I guess he had his hands full with Shona all over again and it wasn’t as if I was heartbroken because it was his own business hooking up with an ex maybe he needed to take his own advice?

Sure he had told me some good things and it had obviously helped in getting me Rob’s number but Joe despite telling himself he wasn’t was playing a game just like the rest of us.

An hour and half later of jogging around the park at a snail’s pace had bought some rest to my mind as I aired out my thoughts to myself listening to my own voice instead of everybody else’s.

Back at the apartment I spend the rest of the day until I have to go and meet Zoe at her school around two at the kitchen table either searching things online or staring at the drawer which had the condoms in.

If I was obsessing over something it was always like a persistent itch that I could not scratch myself especially seeing that in this case I needed a little help from someone this time.

This reminds me I needed to check in on my online dating profiles but just as I am about to sign into one of them I hear my phone beep to signal that I have a message.

Unzipping my hand bag I pull out my phone smiling widely at the screen when I notice that it was Rob who had messaged I was so glad he had finally contacted me.

Stupidly feeling my hands shake I press my finger onto the screen opening up the message in all of its glory hoping that it is good news and not him telling me he never wanted to see me again or something.

_“Hi sexy please say yes to a date sometime this week xx” I read out loud to the kitchen._

That was really encouraging I tell myself the fear that I had been rejected replaced by the fact that he did want to see me again just the two of us.

This hopefully also meant he was eager to go on a date with me hopefully he was one of the good guys kind of like Joe but it had been him who had contacted me and anyway I did not want to date Joe.

Fake or otherwise I think.

........................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

Placing my phone down onto the kitchen table I feel like dancing around combusting with happiness which was something I hadn't felt in a long while unless you counted all the times me and Joe made out but I wasn’t going to.

Soon happiness was replaced by nerves what would I say back to Rob that did not sound idiotic or cheesy thinking maybe I could just invite him over here to hang out which would be the last thing on my mind.

Deciding to grab some late lunch before I went to work to distract myself I think I will ask for the advice of my friends without going ahead and possibly ruining my chances like I had in the past month or so.

Either way Gina and Casey usually told me what to do anyway so in this case I would listen because I needed to go a date and soon or buying those condoms had been in vain.

I had never been so obsessed with sex even when I had met several guys at college and slept with them poor Rob had no idea what he was getting into because I felt ready to pounce.

The saying goes you always want something you haven’t got so I wanted to head out there and have some fun I would become a yes woman rather than saying no to everything.

The afternoon blurs into the evening after spending my time with both kids in a room upstairs that Demi told me was their creative space all white walls and paintings of sunflowers.

It appeared Demi liked the kids to draw classic paintings which had its childish charm but it was hardly creative for them to learn to draw sunflowers and the like when they could express themselves other ways.

It was my job to make their hands messy with paint and to use different items other than brushes to show them that it was fun to go off script when it came to being an artist.

Briefly remembering my camera equipment and all my art gear locked up at my aunt Lilly’s place I had Will to thank putting me into that rut but I secretly hoped that soon I would pick it back up again.

Then Lilly’s words come back to me how she had commented how if Joe had asked me to grab my camera again then I would which was untrue I didn't do everything the guy ever said to me.

My lifeline that was my mobile phone decides to ring whilst I am walking home from the Kings house making me excitedly grab it from the back of my jeans pocket and answer it.

“How goes it?” Elise questions down the line making me smile.

“Fine.” I tell her wondering why she was calling me because it had been a while since we had hung out and I had expected the call to be from Rob.

“Where are you?” Elise asks me and I tell her I am walking home.

“I am at “The Lounge” on Sanders and I expect you to be there in a few.” Elise states making me roll my eyes.

“Do I have to?” I whine voicing that Elise could come to the apartment instead.

“I can help you meet someone new.” Elise informs me.

“Thanks!” I tell her sarcastically then add “See you in ten.”

I instantly regret this decision when I realise I am still covered in glitter thanks to Zoe getting a little over excited with it earlier even sticking lumps of it onto her brother’s face which did not reward me with any extra points with their mum.

........................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

Deciding that I looked ok I tell myself that I was only heading to a bar to meet Elise I would only stay for a little while anyway.

Passing through a set of black doors I walk down the narrow stairs to “The Lounge” which had deep purple walls, large grey beanbags on the floor and small black tables.

Walking to the bar I feel like I am being watched so I turn round to see two woman look away laughing at one another which makes me feel super self-conscious.

Ordering a beer I ignore the noises that I can hear behind me calling them every name I can think of in my mind because I was sure they were laughing at me but I tried my hardest not to care I was just being paranoid I tell myself.

Seeing Elise I walk over plastering a smile on my face as she sees me and stands up from her seat to give me a hug not giving me any funny looks so I assumed I looked ok.

Wearing a dark blue pair of ripped skinny jeans, black battered converse and a grey t shirt which had a picture of the movie poster to one of my favourite films ever “E.T” which I still adored even now.

My hair was in a messy low bun which was probably half hanging out but sitting down opposite Elise I tried to remain calm not appearing awkward like always.

“Let’s catch up!” Elise grins at me making me smile.

“Did my aunt put you up to this?” I question placing the top of the beer bottle to my lips.

“Of course not!” Elise laughs at my assumption “I haven’t got to talk to you properly in ages.”

“You’ve been teasing me instead.” I laugh as Elise pulls a sour face.

“Joe’s been a real-“

“Stop!” I tell my friend before she can finish that sentence telling her “Talk to me about something other than him.”

“Are you still pissed at Joe?” Elise questions biting her lip at me.

“I never was.” I snap then add “Can we change the subject?”

“There is a guy checking you out over there.” Elise tells me excitedly.

“I don’t care.” I lie leaning forward in my seat instead asking “So what about you and Max?”

“Oh we are good.” Elise giggles at the mention of his name what was it with my friends and them being so loved up it was making me sick how did they make it look so easy.

“So how did it happen?” I question thinking that if I kept Elise talking she would forget to mention Joe again which was fine by me.

Sitting back in my chair I get comfortable whilst listening to Elise explain how she finally saw the looks Max had been given her and they just hooked up that night at the bar.

“Do you mean at Upside Down?” I question making Elise look a little shamefaced as she smirks back.

“After Max had shouted at Joe for asking me out his true feelings were revealed that night.” Elise tells me.

“I take it you felt the same way.” I smirk at Elise who laughs.

“Of course I was glad he had finally told me and well one thing lead to another.” Elise shrugs at me again making me feel like I am missing a point here.

“So what am I doing wrong?” I question then instantly regret it.

Talk has now turned to me and so Elise heads to the bar to get more drink because apparently no one can talk to me unless they are drinking alcohol it appears.

Elise actually gives me some good advice which I tell her I will take into consideration even better she doesn’t mention Joe again telling me instead to get out there and just have a ball.

Time flies by it feels as we sit and chat together and when it is my turn to buy the beers I stand at the bar messing around with some stray hair which kept falling into my face.

“Can you make it four beers?” I hear a familiar voice whisper in my ear.

........................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

Turning round I see Joe smile at me which was weird because the last time I had spoken to him he had looked really pissed off.

“Hey.” I smile awkwardly unsure if Joe was being friendly or an argument was about to take place any second.

“Don’t look so worried.” Joe tells me then adds “I come in peace.”

“Well good.” I nod back telling a bartender my order I turn back to face Joe who is standing close next to me with his hands in his pockets but then he decides to poke his tongue out at me.

“You’re so immature!” I retort whilst smiling making him grin back at me.

“Sine supremus!” Joe quotes from the film on my t shirt making me laugh.

“Zero charisma!” I quote back from one of my favourite scenes in "E.T" when the kids are heading to school and two jerks are teasing Elliot about his goblin friend.

“What’s that?” Joe questions then without warning gently strokes the right side of my face and I look down to see a lump of blue glitter on his hand.

“I’ve been playing with glitter.” I smirk at him wishing that I had gone to the restroom earlier to check my face.

“Makes you look cute.” Joe tells me making me roll my eyes.

“Don’t start.” I smirk back then explain “I was drawing animals on a pad for the kids to colour in with glitter and paint.”

“Sounds messy.” Joe nods at me.

“It was lots of fun.” I smile back trying to grab the four beers but Joe picks up two for me.

“Good to see your creative side coming back out.” Joe states.

“Oh god you sound like my aunt!” I moan but wish I hadn't when I see Joe’s face.

“I knew you studied art at college.” Joe tells me seriously then adds “You were really good at it.”

“Thanks.” I smile awkwardly.

“Don’t forget I went to two of your classes showcases just to see you.” Joe states with a grin.

“Just to see me?” I question enjoying the flirty tone I had adopted.

“I mean to see your work!” Joe corrects himself nodding and looking a little caught out at the same time.

Heading back to the table I see Max sitting next to Elise his arms wrapped around her once again and I fail not to see the huge smile on his face and Joe shaking his head at him.

........................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

Wondering what the hell these two were up to I ignore them to see Elise taking a beer out from my hand so I sit down and Joe grabs a chair pulling it close to me.

“So who is helping Lilly to close up tonight?” I ask noticing that three of her employees were here altogether.

“Haven’t you noticed the time?” Max laughs at me then elaborates “It is after eleven the bar will be closing pretty soon so Lilly’s friends Nora and Simon are helping out.”

“Drinking the rest of the night away.” I dead pan because it has been known for Lilly to stay in the bar until very early hours with those two.

“I cannot believe we have been here for almost four hours!” Elise grins wide eyed leaning onto Max for support because it looked like she was having a reaction to the beer she looked perfect even when drunk.

I currently felt the same besides looking perfect obviously because I hadn't had any food since my late lunch but there was no way I was going to drape myself over Joe in a hurry it would be safer to hug the floor.

“It’s shot time.” Max states making both me and Elise shake out head at the same time.

“I’ve had enough.” I tell everyone then add “I need to go home.”

“Alone?” Joe questions with a smile.

“Of course-“

“No way!” Elise points either at me or behind me stating “That guy over there has been looking at you for ages.”

On cue I turn round to see George smiling at me making me curse but then I see the look that Joe gives me as I glance back at him.

“So you've got a stalker.” States Joe clearly loud enough for George to hear.

“Actually I know this women.” George retorts at Joe sitting down uninvited next to me on a spare chair.

“Oh really?” Questions Max who proceeds to shake his head at Joe who spies me watching him.

George then drunkenly tells the story of how we met and I find myself letting him as I am reminded how good looking he is up close and a thought occurs to me that I am definitely not going home alone.

Max talks with Joe in low voices so I cannot hear what they are saying to one another plus I am a terrible lip reader so I give up trying to eavesdrop and decide to flirt with George who is all for it.

Sure the guy had made me lose my job but now I was doing something I really liked sure it was only the first week but I was having a good time.

........................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

This hook up would be super easy and something I needed to do even though when it is nearing one o clock and I was waiting outside for George to appear Joe decides to voice me his opinion which I hadn't even asked for.

“I am so hungry.” I tell Joe leaning up against the wall of the bar outside in the cool night air trying not to allow my body to gravitate towards the guy in front of me because I was currently functioning on beer and hormones.

“Come back to mine?” Joe questions then adds “I can make you something to eat.”

“I’m going home with George.” I state loudly causing Joe to step back as if he cannot believe what I had just told him making me fold my arms across my chest defensively.

“You are making a huge mistake.” Joe explains to me “The guy is an idiot.”

“I can hook up-“I cut myself off by hiccuping loudly then finish the sentence by saying “With anyone I want.”

“Take me instead.” Joe grins down at me with a suggestive smile on his face.

“Take you where?” I question not really paying attention to the conversation forcing myself to look away from Joe.

“I give up!” Joe snaps at me raking both his hands through his curly mane of hair which signalled that he was pissed off.

“What?” I question holding my hands up in the air in protest.

“Just forget it.” Joe snaps at me at the same time Max, Elise and George head out through the doors.

“Already forgotten.” I tell Joe seriously because I could not remember what we had been talking about. 

Joe curses and turning round he storms off again like he had the other night when walking me and Casey back to the apartment what was wrong with the guy?

........................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

“You ok?” Elise asks me as I watch Max jog up the street to catch Joe.

“I am fine.” I tell Elise patting her arm “It's Joe who has the problem.”

“You sure this is a good idea?” Questions Elise giving me a look.

“I can look after myself.” I tell her and Elise grins back.

“But Joe-“

“He’s gone that way.” I shrug cutting off Elise totally forgetting whatever it was the two of us had been talking about.

“He never hooked up with Shona again you know.” Elise drops this little piece of information in front of me just as George appears by my side clocking the look on my face.

“Why should-“

“Max told me you two had argued and he bought her name up but Joe told him he has completely erased her from his life.” Elise states grabbing onto my shoulder letting her words sink in.

“Good for him.” I tell Elise spying George watching me.

“You ready?” He questions grinning at me and I nod.

“Let’s go.” George grins at me and waving at Elise I walk off into the night telling myself this was completely the right direction I was going in placing the thought of Joe as far back into my mind as possible.

Sitting on top of George in his bed with the thin white duvet wrapped around my legs I angrily kick it away then try to focus back on the rhythm between us because we were currently fucking.

As soon as we had gone through the front door to the house George had pushed me up against several walls kissing and biting my lips, neck or shoulder as we ascended our way up the stairs to his room.

Pushing his bedroom door open we had wrestled our way to his bed undressing all the way until George had taken my hand and I fell beside him bouncing slightly on the mattress.

Right now George looked like he was pretty close to coming but he kept pulling these stupid faces seeing that he had left his bedroom light on and I could see his every reaction.

Meanwhile I wasn’t even close my mind kept wandering and thoughts kept leading me back to the fact that this was a terrible idea but it was a little late for that realization seeing that he was currently inside of me.

“You enjoying that baby?” Questions George grunting after each word.

“Of course!” I exclaim in a voice I do not recognise as my own closing my eyes trying to look like I was in the zone because it had been fun with this guy but right this second I just wasn’t feeling it.

Going to that place in my mind where fantasies where kept I tried a few on for size imaging that this indeed was the greatest sex ever just not with the guy who was under me.

George begins to thrust faster signalling that he could not hold out any more and just as I think couldn't he hurry up and get it over and done with Joe appears in my mind making me open my eyes feeling shocked.

“Oh Rachel!” George yells seriously as he groans one last time and that’s it the show was over folks move along nothing else to see here.

“Did you just shout out Rachel?” I question making the image of Joe disappear from my mind as I realise this guy had just called out the wrong name.

“Sure it’s your name.” George grins drunkenly at me as I move off his dick feeling like I hadn't even won a consolation prize when even coming second place would have sated my needs. 

“No.” I tell him feeling the dread hit me right in the stomach that this was a huge mistake what the fuck was I doing?.

“Oh sure.” George sits up pulling off the used condom then grabbing his boxers off the floor whilst I angrily pick up my clothes putting them back on at breakneck speed because I needed to get out of here now.

“Did I just rock your world again?” Questions George looking smug when really he shouldn't.

“Quite the opposite.” I dead pan seeing the look of winning disappear off George’s face.

“You can’t be Rachel then.” George states successfully getting a raise from me as I glare back at him.

“No.” I snap “I’m Riley and I am now leaving.” 

“When will we be doing this again?” Questions George making me look up at him incredulously.

“Never again.” I state then add just in case he didn't get the hint “That was the last time.”

“It wasn’t my fault you didn't have any fun.” George gives me a pathetic look then adds “You need to be more vocal.”

“You need to be better at sex!” I yell not giving a shit if any of his friends were home or not.

“Is this some kind of payback?” Questions George sounding bored.

“What?” I snap unsure what the guy standing in front of me was going on about.

“For the library.” George shakes his head looking like he had only just recognised me adding “You never were much fun.”

“Fuck you.” I tell him snatching my bag up off the floor.

“Unless you was doing this to try and to make somebody else jealous?” Questions George a horrible smile appearing on his face.

“I don’t need to hear this I am leaving.” I pull open his bedroom door to see two guys race away back into the room opposite us making me shake my head they were all fucking idiots here it appeared.

“No wonder that other guy Joel left you tonight even I should have known better!” George shouts making me turn away and look back at him not wanting to correct him for getting Joe's name wrong.

“You’re an asshole.” I state walking down the stairs telling myself not to look back because I just needed to leave.

“I’m just like all the others.” I hear George’s voice from the top of the stairs “You need to learn that and know your place.”

Silently opening the front door I slam it as hard as I can and the force from this action and what had just happened makes me throw up outside of their house which pleases me but then I just feel hollow afterwards.

What had I been doing here? 

Why did I decide that was a good idea even though I was craving sex like someone who had a super sweet tooth that had not satisfied me at all making me feel all kinds of annoyed and frustrated.

It was my own fault and now I played out the night walking home alone wondering what Max had said to Joe when he had chased after him as parts of our conversation come back to haunt me.

“Take me instead.” I whisper to myself making me stop in my tracks realising I had been a super bitch to Joe but it wasn’t as if I had known he was going to be at the bar.

Actually that was a good point I think to myself as I continue to walk back to the apartment why had Max and Joe suddenly appeared at the bar had Elise been up to something?

But none of that mattered because again a guy had gone on the attack assuming me and Joe were something when in fact it was far from it believing we weren't even friends any more right now.

How could I keep getting this so wrong maybe I wasn’t safe going on a date with Rob?

Feeling empty I crawl onto the couch ignoring Gina’s concerned face because she would probably soon hear from Elise what had happened I was in no mood to talk right now I just needed to go to sleep.


	15. Love is a Battlefield

................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Trying to make sense of all my thoughts was impossible when I had a banging headache and the dream I’d just woken up from hadn't helped matters much either.

If anything it should have improved my current mood as I sit up slowly in my bed with a lazy smile on my face courtesy of Joe who had his heavily tattooed arms wrapped around my middle whilst he had his head between my legs.

Wait, I had been dreaming about Joe?!

Closing my eyes again I chase the image of me and Joe together on his couch which meant that I had just had a sex dream about him but that was the least of my worries right now.

I knew that last night had sucked but why had I been dreaming of Joe when I could have been imaging anybody else with me but the idea of who exactly escapes my mind.

Getting out of bed I head towards the kitchen for a large mug of black coffee and some sense to be made because vague memories from last night pop into my mind at random causing even more confusion.

I think I needed to lay off the alcohol for a while but knowing that wasn’t going to happen any time soon I guess that instead I just needed to make better judgements even though 

I was sick and tired of telling myself that.

George had been a really shitty choice because he had been so bad in bed plus I think I had kinda assumed he was good in the sack because I hadn't had much to go by yet last night just proved that going home with the drunk guy was a bad idea.

Hell he even got my name wrong I remember whilst I poured myself some fresh coffee from the pot into my favourite green mug seeing the horrible face he had pulled in my mind when George had reached his happy ending.

Shuddering to myself I think back to earlier in the evening when Max and Joe had appeared which I was sure Elise had something to do with but that whole line of questioning would have to wait.

Leaning my back onto the kitchen side I glance outside the small kitchen window staring at the already blue sky which was clear and I wish to myself that I could just empty my head.

I had a warm feeling in my lower stomach from that dream I had been having wondering briefly what Joe would have done to me next had I not woken up?

Well one thing for sure was that I wouldn't be able to look at Joe the same way for a while at least but I had a feeling I wouldn’t be seeing him soon anyway because we had ended up arguing once again last night.

I kind of recall some words which were said between us but the reason behind it was blank because I was sure that we had been getting along fine until George appeared and I had deemed him a target.

Swearing he was a lot hotter in the flesh than what I had thought after that dud sex session we had I think I’d put George on some kind of pedestal which wasn’t suited to him at all seeing he was an asshole.

Taking a sip of black coffee the taste matches my mood perfectly because right now all I felt was remorse with a hint of bitterness which I think wasn’t from my drink.

Placing my green mug back down onto the kitchen side I head off in search for my phone which I eventually find buried down the side of the couch where I remembered I had passed out on.

Gina had been sitting there watching TV when I came home and I fell onto the couch besides her closing my eyes to escape the night but it was obvious that things still haunted you when you was awake as well

Noticing a message from my room-mate I frown when I read it because it was Gina basically telling me that I had a lot of explaining to do later which only confused me more.

I bet Elise had spoken to her about last night because I do not remember talking to her at all instead I had buried my head into the soft cushions and fell into a deep sleep.

Somewhere during the night I had walked from the couch to my room but in between that I have no real memory making me assume that Elise and Gina were in cahoots together.

My friends were such a huge part of my life it almost felt like sometimes they knew what I was going to do even before I did which I guess meant that they were really good at their job.

Feeling too ill and wound up to go running I decide to grab a quick shower then walk to Lilly’s house before she went to work because I didn't want to step foot in Upside Down right now.

 ..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Which was something that I never thought I would ever say obviously I adored the place and my aunt had even let me work there for a little while to get a bit of money when she had first opened the place up.

But really Lilly had been trying to set me up even when I was still with Will she would introduce me to guys and every time I told them that I was not interested but my aunt like my friends were persistent.

Right now it felt like she had given up or at the very least backed off a little letting me decide for myself because I did not want to stoop any lower than George right now or ever if I was honest.

Fresh from the shower and now outside I look back up towards the blue sky like it had some answers for me but like usual it just stared back at me not giving me even a hint of inspiration.

Wearing a pair of white shorts and a navy blue v neck tee shirt I had my hair in a side ponytail adding minimal make up to my face making me feel a little more awake.

It wasn’t far to Lilly’s place a small house on a leafy terraced street where I had lived until I’d met Will and we dated for a little while until I’d moved in with him and set off on the wrong foot towards our future.

If I had known then what I know now about Will that he was scum and also an asshole I would have ignored his handsome face that I’d noticed right away in the office failing to not look interested.

Shaking my head I did not need to be thinking about him as well right now whilst I was trying to ignore all the thoughts of George and Joe who both were invading my thoughts equally.

Walking through the pebbled drive way I carry on down the side of the house raising my hand to ring the bell but I used to live here and Lilly always welcomed me in with open arms so I decide to walk right in.

“Lilly?” I question walking into the long hallway smelling the heavy aroma of candles which had long been blown out but their fragrance lingered in the air making me smile because this place was a big part of my life.

Still hearing no answer I continue to the end of the house where the kitchen was and that is when I hear someone whistling.

.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

“Oh!” Stepping into the room I see a man with short greying hair look up at me as he stood next to the kitchen table in just a pair of deep red satin boxers smiling at me like I was an old friend.

“I’m sorry-“

“Riley?!” I hear Lilly question as she appears behind me and I quickly turn round.

“I should have called!” I tell my aunt who grins at me obviously amused by how awkward I sounded and probably looked.

“It’s ok.” Lilly waves her hand at me as the man over by the table sits down in front of a bunch of newspapers whilst picking up a pair of dark framed glasses.

“Are you sure?” I question because I hadn't thought Lilly would have company this early in the morning which if it meant what I thought it meant my aunt was getting lucky unlike me.

“Ralph.” Lilly speaks softly to the man at the table “Can you excuse us I think my niece wants to speak to me.”

“Sure.” The man named Ralph grins standing up collecting his newspapers under his arm as I look away because I didn't want to be looking at his boxers again.

Once Ralph has left the room I raise an eyebrow at Lilly who gives me a look back as I walk further into the kitchen to lean on the side by the sink.

“So what brings you to my neck of the woods?” Lilly asks me.

“I needed a walk so I headed this way.” I smile back at least that bit was true.  
“

So what do you think of Ralph?” Asks Lilly and I begin to feel my face break out in a hot flush.

“He is just a friend.” Lilly nods at me then adds “You need to take a page out from my book.”

“Please.” I shake my head “I don’t want to talk about men right now.”

“What did you do now?” My aunt questions with a smile pouring me a mug of black coffee and placing it next to me.

“It is all their fault not mine.” I smirk referring to all the guys I knew in my life holding onto the mug with both of my hands firmly for support.

“Well let me start.” Lilly explains “I met Ralph last week when I went out with your mum he was friends with Paul who was in the show we saw and it is really as simple as that.”

“I’m not telling you what I did.” I snort because first of all I had to remember myself it was still vague some parts of last night and those black spots in my mind could be vital plot points for me.

“Even if you don’t Elise or Joe will come and talk to me later.” Lilly tells me with a grin.

“You talk to Joe about me?” I ask my aunt who looks away re tying her silk kimono over her pyjamas which spelled guilty as sin to me.

“Joe talks to me about college.” Lilly tells me with a grin then adds “He speaks about you an awful lot.”

“I’ve known him for a long while.” I brush off the comment from my aunt.

Lilly nods in understanding but when it looks like she is about to say something she stops thinking better of it whilst I watch as she stirs her coffee instead.

.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

“I thought Max and Joe met up with you and Elise?” Questions Lilly and my eyes widen at her question.

“Of course you knew!” I call her out as my aunt grins back at me.

“So something did happen?” Lilly nods her head.

“If you count me getting black out drunk, shouting at Joe and having sex with a complete tool then yeah something did happen.” I state animatedly.

“Why did you and Joe argue?” Lilly asks making me shake my head.

“No idea.” I shrug my shoulders as if to prove my point.

“He is working early today.” My aunt states “Maybe you could come to work with me and have a talk with the poor guy?”

“Poor guy?” I repeat whilst Lilly laughs at the face I am pulling.

“You’ll figure it out soon enough.” Lilly holds out her hand to pat mine.

“I swear this is some kind of conspiracy.” I state feeling way out of the loop.

“You need to just look at things a little closer.” Lilly laughs as I give her a confused look.

“On that note I am leaving.” I state finishing my coffee quickly the heat from the liquid burning the roof of my mouth.

“Don’t you want any breakfast?” Questions my aunt as I shake my head then look up to see Ralph has reappeared and this time he was wearing oatmeal coloured khaki’s yet he was still shirtless.

“No I am good.” I tell her smiling briefly at the man in front of me who looked a little older than my aunt but I would be an idiot if I did not notice the smile he was putting on her face.

“Great to meet you.” Ralph salutes me as he walks past me to stand next to Lilly which makes me wonder if it really was that easy.

.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

Letting myself out I don’t know whether to laugh or cry because my aunt it appeared was getting way more action than me.

Under the covers of my bed as soon as I get home I lay here alone attempting to gather my thoughts because I had that feeling that I wanted to hide from everything again which was my only option right now.

Sure later this afternoon I needed to go to work but right now I just wanted some time to myself so I could be prepared for later when I needed to behave normal and not like I had fucked up everything all over again.

My aunt it appeared was rooting for Joe because she had an apparent soft spot for the bartender which makes me wonder what he had said to her about college.

This line of thinking makes me remember a little more of our argument last night between me and Joe because he had teased me about being more creative then mentioned how he had only gone to my art class showcases to see me.

Pulling the duvet off from my head I wonder if that was what actually had happened or if I’d just imagined it instead wishing Joe was nicer to me than how he had been recently.

That was crap Joe was always nice to me I must have really wound him up somehow but I had no memory whatsoever of what I could have done to so I hoped that meant it hadn't been that bad.

Zoe had homework this afternoon to do so I sat with her at the kitchen island focusing on listening to the little girls voice as she explained to me what she was going to write a story about to read to her class.

“It will either be about cats or my teddy bears.” Zoe informs me.

“Sounds fun.” I smile at her trying and failing to get my mind out from last night’s gutter because the memories were coming thick and fast making my head hurt even more in the process.

I remembered how Joe had appeared at the bar and we had even flirted him quoting from one of my favourite movies of all time which had made me smile.

But then I can see the two of us standing outside the bar together Joe snapping at me whilst I hadn't a clue what he was on about but now I had some idea because I recall him telling me that he gave up.

The reason behind those unkind words? 

Joe had offered to take me home back to his place I can see the grin on his face now and the flirty look in his eyes but I had shot him down explaining how I was leaving with George instead.

I truly was an idiot because I hated the thought that I had pissed Joe off but he was throwing off our dynamic seeing that we were just friends and flirting how we was would only end in bad news I was sure.

“Earth to Riley!” I hear Demi call which shakes me out from my thoughts making Zoe giggle loudly.

“I’m here.” I smile back at Demi who looked pretty in a mustard coloured shift dress with black heels.

“Good.” Demi taps her knuckle onto the kitchen side then adds “I need a word.”

“Sure.” I smile hoping I hadn't messed up somehow because I had spent most of the afternoon daydreaming.

“It’s to do with the kids being on summer holiday soon.” Demi tells me and I nod.

“I can be as free as possible.” I grin back because that meant I wouldn't have to pick up the kids from school and we could spend all day together.

“Good.” Demi nods “Near the end of August we will be going away on holiday just to see my parents but it would be great if you could come with us.”

“Thanks a lot.” I tell Demi unsure how that was going to play out did they really need me on holiday with them.

“Unless you have got yourself a guy by then?” Questions Demi making me blush at the thought.

“Doubtful.” I grin back with a shrug.

“Boys smell.” Zoe informs me “My brother is gross!”

“Zoe!” Demi shouts at her daughter trying not to laugh herself.

Whilst Zoe continues with her story about Holly and Danny her two favourite bears I chat with Demi about working less during the week when the kids were on holiday but over the weekend which suited me.

I could really help Zoe and Harley focus with some different art projects to keep them busy and Demi really wanted them to become great artists ahead of all the other kids in their respective classes.

Which on one hand was understandable because you would always want the best for your own kids but Zoe didn’t need to know about any famous artists just yet she was too busy loving glitter.

“I enjoy this job.” I smile at Demi my boss “I can help out whenever needed.”

“Plus I can keep giving you some words of wisdom!” Demi smiles.

I wish that the mum of two wouldn't but it appeared she had taken a big interest in my life even though I could tell from a mile off that hers was much more interesting and loving from my point of view anyway.

“I need more than just wisdom.” I dead pan making Demi laugh at me.

Walking down the steps outside the King’s house at the end of the day I answer my phone on the very first ring as it goes off in my hand.

“Hey is this Riley?” Questions a male voice.

“Yes.” I begin “Who is it?”

“It’s Rob.” Rob tells me down the phone making me stop in the middle of the pavement and almost crash into someone.

“Hey Rob.” I smile thanking whoever that this guy had finally called me but it had only been four days since I’d met him so this must have been some kind of record.

“How are things?” Questions Rob.

“Good now that you have called.” I state honestly and with a huge grin on my face.

“That’s made my day.” Chuckles Rob.

“I aim to please.” I grin as I continue to walk back to the apartment.

“So here’s the thing.” Rob explains “A friend of mine has a show at a small gallery in town tomorrow and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me?”

“Like a date?” I question excitedly because this was exactly what I needed a distraction in the form of yet another guy.

“Of course.” Rob laughs at me then adds “I told you I would call you so here we are.”

“Sounds good.” I tell Rob.

“It will be if you are by my side.” Rob states which makes me think of Joe but I let the thought slide I wasn’t comparing this guy to an old friend.

“I will message you the details tomorrow.” Rob explains “Cannot wait to see you again.”

“Me either.” I call off almost sounding like I was in a dreamlike state because this was good news I could not wait to tell my friends.

.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

Stopping for some food because I was too lazy to cook I grab some takeaway noodles and then decide to grab a couple bottles of pink wine which were purely celebratory because my headache was now long forgotten.

Vowing to myself that I wouldn't drink the wine alone I would open it up if Gina was home because it felt good to have something exciting to talk about for once instead of moaning all the time.

Sure it was only a first date but it would totally help to make me forget George and also prove to Joe that I could meet someone who wasn’t a jerks even though it always appeared he had something to say about guys I met.

Walking into the apartment I find Gina and Casey jumping up and down on the couch whilst loud music is blasting out from the TV until they both scream when they see me.

“What the hell is going on?” I question with a grin as I watch Casey jump down from the couch to envelope me into a hug whilst Gina turns off the TV.

“We are just in a good mood!” Casey tells me excitedly.

“Things are coming into focus.” Gina grins happily letting go of the group hug.

“You could say that.” I smile at Gina thinking about Rob calling me earlier.

“I am so glad that you saw Joe again last night.” Gina tells me making my face transform from a smile into a grimace obviously my friends had been talking to Elise or even worse the guy himself.

“We are still rooting for him!” Casey cheers but stops when she sees my face.

“I’m not talking to Joe right now.” I tell my friends then add “I think.”

“You think?” Gina questions with a smirk.

“It’s been a weird few days.” I joke readying myself for the remarks from my friends.

“What did you do?” Casey asks.

“It wasn’t just me-“

“Elise told us you and Joe had some kind of argument last night.” Gina shakes her head at me.

“Well I don’t remember much about last night.” I explain with an awkward smile.

“Joe apparently left work as fast as he could today.” Gina states telling me she had gotten a call from Elise who was worried about me.

“I bet it had something to do with you going home with George.” Gina dead pans making me look up at her from the floor.

“That was a huge mistake.” I tell my friends laughing but then stop suddenly when I remember that Joe had said exactly the same thing to me.

“So Joe met George and by the sounds of it he was super jealous.” Casey states.

“Not even.” I shake my head “Joe was just being a protective friend.”

“You chose George instead of Joe and that pissed him off.” Gina informs me.

“Well he probably has Shona on speed dial so don’t know why he was annoyed with me?” I retort sarcastically not liking the sound of my voice.

“His ex?” Casey questions.

“When I went to see him on Sunday Joe told me that Shona had called.” I explain bringing my friends up to speed.

“Wait.” Gina holds her hands up in the air as if to get my attention “So you've gone from pretending to be whatever you were to making each other jealous?”

“It isn’t like that.” I sigh wishing I had never mentioned the fake date we had or met Shona either because she was making me feel jealous.

“So bring us up to date.” States Casey crossing her legs as she sits back on the couch with a smile.

“The short story is that Joe can do whatever he wants and so can I.” I shrug at my friends.

“Is that why you slept with George?” Questions Gina with a wink.

“That was a terrible idea-“

“Whilst Joe is carrying on like nothing has happened because I think everyone is getting used to him being in a mood now.” Gina cuts in whilst laughing.

“He seems to be getting the ladies that way.” Casey comments then adds “Elise told Gina the guy is constantly getting chatted up at the bar.”

“I can see why.” Gina nods back at Casey whilst I look away not wanting to meet my friend’s eyes.

“I could not care less.” I retort which makes Casey scoff at me.

“I hate that saying.” Casey begins then explains “Because you obviously do care about it.”

“A lot of woman seem to admire the dude.” Gina winks at me.

“He’s handsome sure.” I state making Casey’s eyes widen.

“Did we just hear a confession then?” Casey questions excitedly.

“I am just stating a fact.” I roll my eyes smirking then add “But he isn’t just all good looks.”

“It’s because of his big personality.” Gina laughs at me then clarifies “If you catch my meaning.”

“This is why I need to meet some other guys.” I tell Gina rolling my eyes at her.

“You are.” Casey tells me with a grin “But we just keep coming back to Joe.”

“Have sex with him already!” Sings Gina so loud I was sure that Joe himself had probably heard her.

“How do you know I haven’t already?” I question sarcastically because my friends were putting me in a funny mood.

“Because if you truly had.” Gina begins with a grin then pausing she slowly adds “You would be walking around with the hugest smile on your face.”

“Whatever.” I roll my eyes “It won’t happen anyway.”

“But the bet!” Casey wails “I have to win.”

“I’m not just going to get Joe in my bed so you guys can win a stupid bet.” I tell them seriously.

“I doubt you wouldn't have to try hard.” Casey sniggers at the thought.

“It would sure cheer Joe up.” Gina states then informs me “You should just do it.”

“My dinner is getting cold.” I tell my friends not wanting to talk about Joe any more because I had tried so hard not to think about him today his stupid mood swings were his own problem not mine.

“Well I need to get home anyway.” Casey stands up brushing down her black skirt she was wearing her work uniform from the juice bar but like always she look immaculate I had no idea how she did it.

“I’m meeting Kirk so I will walk out with you.” Grins Gina picking up her handbag from the floor.

“Home alone at last.” I smirk back then add “You are seeing a lot of Kirk aren't you Gina?”

“It’s purely physical.” Gina laughs at me.

“Why is everything about sex?” I question whilst shaking my head.

“If you have to ask.” Gina dead pans “Then you are doing it wrong.”

“Thanks a lot.” I scoff trying not to let those words hit me too hard.

“Doing it with the wrong person.” Casey pipes up correcting Gina.

“Don’t start that again.” I whine then add “Get out of here.”

“But what will you do?” Gina questions.

“I have cold noodles and wine.” I grin not caring if I sounded sad staying in alone tonight because I needed sometime to myself right now.

“Don’t get up to any mischief.” Gina winks at me as I usher her and Casey out the door because talking to them had given me food for thought making me hungrier than I was earlier.

.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

Chucking my takeaway noodles into the microwave I heat them up for a few minutes trying to gather my thoughts whilst I watched the cardboard container go round and round in front of me.

Shit.

I had completely forgotten to tell Gina and Casey about my date with Rob but I guess it could wait until afterwards surprise them because they thought my world revolved around Joe which it didn't.

Taking out my food I leave it on the side for a moment whilst I turn the TV on taking in the wine from the kitchen just one bottle mind because soon I was going to be getting a reputation.

I smirk at this seeing that Will had hated it when I drank too much alcohol yet another thing he had disliked about me it was a wonder I hadn’t noticed sooner how over me he was even before he dumped me.

Sitting down on the floor in the living room I place my noodles beside me as they still sat in the cardboard box and I fight with the packaging to the chopsticks trying to open them up.

Ripping the packaging open finally I split them down the middle then grabbing the TV remote I flick through the channels to see if there is a mindless TV show I could be watching to take my mind off of everything.

Finding something that had just started I cringe at how corny the opening was but I secretly loved these crap reality show type programmes they were my guilty pleasure.

Dropping the TV remote behind me onto the couch I begin to eat my noodles focusing on shovelling as much as I could into my mouth via the chopsticks because I felt ravenous.

I guess over thinking made you hungry I decide taking a large gulp of wine from a plastic red cup because I was classy like that.

“Why did you choose him?” I yell at the TV screen on the third episode consuming this reality dating show which was annoying the hell out of me but I could not turn the channel over because I was hooked.

Love is a battlefield was a show where twelve contestants in this case all single lived together and basically went on dates with one another and the viewers could watch these dates that took place.

If there was a time where somebody didn't get chosen for a date then they would either have to leave the house where they all lived or choose to go on a blind date with a different person as they would get a new contestant in.

Basically the aim of the game was to meet someone you clicked with either go on a few successful dates together or try and play the field by seeing other people within the house so you could imagine all the hell that was breaking loose.

I hated reality shows usually but this had got me hooked even though I had managed to consume a whole bottle of wine to myself in almost two hours whilst seriously considering opening the other one just because.

Thinking it over for all of three seconds I head to the kitchen picking out the second bottle from the fridge I had hastily pushed in there to hide but obviously not well enough.

Heading back I sit down on the floor untwisting the lid on this cheap bottle of pink wine which was helping me feel nice and relaxed it was just what I needed right now.

Hearing my phone ping I pick it up from the floor and check it to see who had just messaged me and a grin appears on my face when I see it was Rob asking me what I was up to right now.

Typing out a reply I tell Rob that I am watching TV which once I send the message I realise was a pretty boring thing to say even though it was the truth.

I really wanted Rob to like me he had a sexy smile and I liked the way he had acted when he’d bought me that bottle of wine confident but not enough to turn me off it had done the opposite in fact.

That was probably why I had ended up kissing Joe once again that night even though now I think about it I hadn't jumped on him or anything he had been the one in control.

With one eye on the TV and the other on my phone screen I wait for Rob to message me back but things begin to look desperate as another episode and half a bottle of wine disappears without hearing from him.

When nine o clock comes and goes I am happy for the distraction of the TV because I have now finished both the bottles of wine and a really awkward scene was taking place on this show.

Thankfully there was a marathon being shown a whole season of this train wreck show and I was too invested in Lorna she was really kick ass but right now she was totally being played by this guy named Fred.

I knew of course that a lot of these scenes where arguments happened had naturally been scripted but here I was staring at the screen still gripping onto my phone with my mouth hanging open.

This guy Fred liked both guys and girls which was confusing his house mates and right now this girl Lorna could not deal with the fact that he liked Henry more and she was close to being asked to leave the house.

“You can do better than Fred!” I scoff at the screen realising this wasn’t the first time I had found myself yelling at the TV but I really felt for Lorna she was someone I felt I could relate to.

Dropping my phone as hearing it ping makes me jump I scoop it up from my lap to see Rob has indeed messaged me and that grin reappears once again on my face.

_“I’m out with friends right now but I would much rather be there with you.” I state out loud reading his reply._

Well if he wanted to play flirty then I could totally do that even more so now I’ve finished my wine and the words appeared a lot easier in my mind.

 _“I cannot wait to see you tomorrow night.”_

Playing it cool wasn’t my best forte basically I sucked at it but I guess if I told him how I really felt we would be heading straight to his place for sex tomorrow night totally skipping the date.

I had done that before courtesy of George but I felt excited that I had an actual date the whole getting dressed up and that rush of anticipation was a great buzz but my nights recently had been ending as dud’s.

Needing that to change and quick I click on the new message I receive from Rob and then proceed to make a weird noise as I read what he has sent.

 _“Thinking of you right now is making me hard.”_

What can I say to that? 

.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

Deciding that my muddled brain needed some help I head into my kitchen finding the not so secret stash of light beer that Gina tried to hide from me but I was sure I had bought this to replace the last lot I had drank.

Shaking my head I go back to sit on the couch abandoning the TV for my phone because something important was taking place right here.

If I was Gina right now I would know exactly the right thing to say but she was out with Kirk which was surprising because she never usually saw one guy more than once on the regular.

But that was my room-mate whilst I on the other hand met idiots I was a magnet for douche bags the thought not making me feel any more confident why did I always put myself down all the time?

I knew telling him that it was nice he had a boner was just dorky and beyond awkward I blamed all my exes for this making me into the mess that I was now no wonder I was still single.

Not wanting my thoughts to take a turn I take a slow gulp of drink the beer was a little warm but I was beyond caring right now I had bigger things to be dealing with.

 _“Glad to be of service.”_

I type out and send just as I clamp a hand over my mouth dropping the phone to the floor like it had shocked me.

Closing my eyes I cannot believe how much of an idiot I am and it is only quarter past ten I was successfully wasted whilst unsuccessfully trying to flirt through texts.

I needed to just stop over thinking things I actually had lost count over all the times that I’ve said that to myself if Joe was here he would tell me the same thing.

Even though it would be super awkward if he was here watching me trying to interact with another guy I could just see him now laughing at me because my replies were fucking ridiculous.

 _“We’re just getting started baby.”_

Rob messages me then I receive two more detailing what he was imaging us doing which makes my skin go red and excitement flutter around in my stomach.

When I do not reply for at least half an hour seeing that I was beginning to panic for tomorrow I decide to hop into the shower quickly because I was feeling hot changing into a pair of grey soft cotton shorts and a white vest making me feel a little better despite still feeling drunk.

_“Don’t leave me hanging.”_

I read the message Rob just sent me which had an added sad face emoji at the end then it is quickly followed by two more.

_“I’m here excited for you.”_

Excited, for what?

 _“What are you wearing?”_

Looking down at myself because I had forgotten what I actually was wearing I decide that I needed help and there was only one person who could help me.

Cursing as I trip over an empty can of light beer I hold my phone to my ear then walking through to my bedroom I collapse onto the bed on my back finding myself staring at the ceiling.

Come on pick up!

“Hello?” Questions my saviour.

“Gina I need your help!” I wail down the phone to my friend the excited flutters in my stomach from earlier now being replaced with jittery nerves instead.

“What have you done?” Gina questions over some loud background noise.

“I cannot function as a human being!” I cry dramatically whilst finishing off my second warm beer which was a terrible idea because I had gone way over my limit.

“Are you drunk?” I hear Gina laugh down the phone at me.

“No.” I snap trying to sound offended but give up deciding to come clean “Well yes I am but I am getting these sexy messages from a guy.”

“So your sexting.” Gina giggles then adds “I’ve only been out for like four hours what are you up to?”

“I’ve never heard of sexting.” I dead pan when really I had it was just I was absolutely crap at it.

“Did you drink both of those bottles of wine?” Gina questions.

“Yes I did I am celebrating!” I cheer but then stop when I forget exactly what it was I had been excited about.

“Do me and Casey need to give you an intervention?” Gina asks me.

“Just keep it a surprise.” I joke whilst shaking my head.

Ignoring my better judgement I open one more beer whilst I listen to Gina talking in the background to someone most probably Kirk which annoys me because I needed her time right now he could have for the rest of the night for all I care.

“SOS!” I yell down the phone again when I see that now Joe has messaged me that was all I needed seeing that I did not have the time to focus on him at the moment.

“Who the hell is sending you rude messages then?” Questions Gina who adds “Are you at the dick pic stage yet?”

“Gross.” I shake my head thankful that things hadn't gotten that far just yet.

“Kirk does it all the time-“

“I don’t care about that!” I cut into whatever Gina was about to say and explain “Joe just messaged me and I am so confused.”

“So it is him?” Gina questions sounding excited.

“Of course it’s him I just told you that he-“

“See I told you the guy knew how to flirt.” Gina states.

“You’ve only met him like once?” I drunkenly question but then shake that thought away.

“So where are you at?” Gina asks moving the conversation along.

“He’s asked me what I am wearing and he keeps telling me how hard I am making him.” I state feeling like one of those clueless main characters in any of the rom com films I liked.

“Tell him what you think he wants to hear.” Gina tells me then adds “Guys are simple creatures just say you are alone thinking of him in some kind of sexy lingerie stroking your soft skin-“

“Ok that’s enough!” I tell her because she made it sound so easy whenever I thought of something to say it made me cringe internally.

“I’m surprised Joe is sexting you.” Gina says thoughtfully confusing me completely in the process.

“Joe isn’t-“

“Ask him how long he can keep this up for!” Gina laughs.

“Keep what up?” I ask totally thrown from this conversation looking at my light beer can in confusion.

“Joe will be after you soon enough if you tell him what I said-“

“It’s Rob!” I cry finally seeing what Gina was thinking and it was totally the wrong thing.

“What does that guy want?” Gina questions.

“No it isn’t-“

“Joe is once again putting himself out there you need to get excited and feel confident because he is flirting with you badly and you need to take it to the next level.”

“Ugh, not this next level shit again!” I whine.

“Don’t keep Joe waiting.” I hear Gina giggle.

“Wrong guy.” I joke wishing she would stop talking about Joe.

“Go and get laid!” Gina cheers which makes me curse and end the call.

.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

Ok so that hadn't gone to plan I wish I'd never even called Gina who thought that I had been talking about Joe when I hadn't even mentioned his name…had I?

The only thing to do was bury my phone somewhere far away and just ignore it for the rest of the night as I notice that the show I I’d been watching had long ended which was really annoying.

It had been a terrible idea flirting with Rob who now probably thought I was some kind of tease which was exactly how I felt so picking up the TV remote from the floor I find something other than the news to watch.

Flicking the channels I groan in frustration when I cannot find something to watch plus my phone had just pinged like five times probably Rob telling me that he doesn’t want to meet up with me tomorrow.

Turning off the TV I glare at where I had hid my phone deciding a little music would help bring my spirits back because that pep talk from Gina hadn't left me in a good mood.

Fucking hell what was my problem? 

I had dealt with this before I could do it again it was of course part of being single I needed to put myself out there and tell Rob exactly what he wanted to hear.

Opening another beer because I had lost where I had placed my last one I regret it instantly when I burp in between drinking and that makes my stomach turn felling like the noodles wanted to make a reappearance.

Placing the can in front of me I turn on the iPod in the docking station switching on the last playlist that had played turning the music down low just so it was background noise.

Sitting back down on the couch I unearth my phone to see that I had a bunch of messages even one from Gina congratulating me on being amazing which wasn’t exactly how I felt right now.

Switching screens I see all the messages from Rob and currently he was imaging me coming to the bar to meet him for a little late night fun and of course a few drinks.

The thought of alcohol makes my stomach churn once again but a smile appears at the idea of me leaving the apartment to go and find Rob but he had sent it a while ago.

Feeling like either the couch or the whole room was spinning I could not focus on my phone so I decide to lay down on the floor instead giggling in the process as I almost hit my head on the coffee table.

I needed this like I had said to Gina I was celebrating I had a date tomorrow with Rob who was cool and he knew how to play the dating game obviously so I hoped he would take me under his wing.

Or even better under his covers because those messages had made me feel horny to say the very least so I should take the initiative seeing that like always it was my turn to play ball.

Lifting my phone up to my face whilst I lay on the floor I see that I still haven’t read Joe’s message yet and it was staring right at me.

 _“Lots to talk about but hope you are ok.”_

Talk about cryptic what the hell did he mean by lots to talk about?

It was all Joe he was the one to go from shouting to making out with me feeling like that was all we ever did recently whenever we were together.

Checking through the messages Rob had sent me I decide to send him one more before I pass out because I could feel my eyelids getting heavy whilst my stomach was still not feeling right.

Ok so this had to count I think as I begin to type telling Rob that honestly I am thinking about him right now and maybe he could come by and help me out with something because I was horny.

He had teased me earlier so now it was my turn to give him a taste of his own sweet medicine I smiled to myself expecting Rob to call ordering me to tell him where I lived so he could come round.

That was how things were done round here I needed to lay down the law and right now that meant me calling the shots which made me feel pretty good despite my stomach.

Dropping my phone onto my face makes me swear because it hurts like a bitch but I let it fall to the floor closing my eyes instead still waiting for Rob to call me because I was so ready for him.

I would just lay here for a few moments relaxing my eyes because if they were closed obviously that meant nothing was spinning around in front of me.

Hearing loud knocking wakes me up with a start as I open my eyes hoping that it wasn’t Gina on the other side of the door even though I am just assuming she is spending the night with Kirk.

An image of Rob appears in my mind which wakes me up seeing that it must be him coming to see me and this news makes me sit up and brush my hair away from my face as it was sticking to my cheek.

Standing up from the floor I clumsily step over my phone as I pull down my white vest not having enough time to check my reflection in the hallway mirror so I take a quick glance then open the door.

.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

“Hi.” 

Seeing Joe at my door makes me want to rub my eyes as if I am still asleep and this was some kind of dream because I had gotten it all wrong seeing that it should be Rob at my door instead of him.

“What are you doing here?” I question gripping onto the front door for support.

Joe doesn’t answer instead he walks right passed me into the hallway as I take the longest time closing the door unsure what was happening here.

“I’m surprised you even messaged me back.” Joe tells me with a smile on his face.

“Did I?” I question which comes out as a squeak.

“Don’t go acting coy now.” Joe laughs at me.

“I’m confused.” I stand there with my back to the front door pointing from Joe to myself as if to prove a point.

“Well I was out with Pete.” Joe steps closer to me and I place my hands flat onto the door because he had me trapped and I had nowhere to run.

“And now you’re here?” I ask and he nods.

“You sent me a message telling me that I needed to get here and that you was feeling horny how could I resist?” Joe chuckles as I grip onto my white vest trying to makes sense of his words.

“I, I did what?” I stutter as I realise I have made yet another idiotic mistake I was on such a roll right now.

Before I can explain to Joe the truth he places a hand under my chin making me look at him because I had been staring at his dirty boots instead but then he leans forwards and kisses me.

It is a soft embrace for all of five seconds until he pushes his body closer to me grabbing my wrists placing them above my head all the while never relenting with the contact of his lips on mine.

A small moan escapes from my mouth when Joe drops my wrists and I let my arms fall to my sides as he places his hands on my waist instead stroking upwards pushing my vest up to reveal bare skin.

“Wait.” I push Joe’s hands away from my body then add “I need to tell you something.”

“Can’t it wait until later?” Questions Joe licking his bottom lip which easily distracts me.

“I didn't mean to send you that message.” I tell him quickly almost as if the words resembled ripping off a band aid.

“So you were sexting someone else?” Joe asks looking impressed which briefly annoys me.

“I have a date with this guy Rob tomorrow night-“

“The dude from the bar.” Joe nods as I see that look on his face suddenly become pained.

“Yes.” I nod returning to look back at Joe’s boots.

“What are you afraid of?” Questions Joe.

“Nothing!” I reply walking back into the living room bending down to grab my phone trying to ignore the sudden wave of nausea.

“I think you are.” Joe retorts then states “Fuck it is only sex Riley!” 

“Is that what you say to Shona when you hooked up with her again?” I question.

“I didn't go to see Shona.” Joe tells me “How many times do I have to tell you I am ignoring her it is over between us.”

“Oh.” I am surprised by this answer.

“Please understand that I want you so badly right now.” Joe states.

“If this is your way of propositioning me.” I tell him “Then you are not doing very well.”

“So this was a wasted journey then?” Joe questions not looking me in the eye.

“Unless you want to throw me a pity fuck.” I state suddenly feeling really annoyed at myself and Joe it appeared was my only direct target.

“It isn’t like that.” Joe tells me “I just thought you was on the same page.”

“I need to stop drinking.” I state to no one in particular pushing myself off the front door almost falling flat on my face in the process but Joe catches me round the waist before I meet the floor.

“You ok?” Joe question as he turns me round to face him and I look up into his deep blue eyes thinking would it really be a terrible thing right now if we did have sex.

“I’m going to be sick.” I tell Joe as my nerves get the better of me as I proceed to throw up onto Joe’s tee shirt.

“Well this isn't the first time this has happened.” I hear Joe say as I look up at him holding my hand over my mouth in shock and embarrassment.

“Oh shit.” Feeling a second wave of nausea I run to my bathroom just in time not hearing what Joe calls out to me.

Closing my eyes I wish this all away hoping that this was currently some nightmare because this was a lot worse than having terrible sex with George.

“Riley.” I hear Joe’s voice state as I feel a hand on my shoulder then it moves to lift my hair away from my face.

“Can I have a few moments?” I ask Joe hoping he would take that as his cue to leave.

 ..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Feeling my hair drop back around my shoulders I listen as Joe steps silently out from the bathroom whilst I curse sitting back onto the floor feeling a little better but not by much.

“You ok?” Joe asks me as I finally walk back into the living room to see him standing there shirtless rubbing a hand round the back of his neck.

“Sorry about your tee shirt.” I tell Joe trying and failing not to stare at his chest noticing for the first time the outline of a chest piece tattoo that looked like it was a work in progress.

“You can owe me.” Joe smiles which relaxes me a little.

“So are we taking this to the bedroom or not?” Joe questions making me look up from the couch at him to see that grin has reappeared on his face once again the guy was teasing me yet again.

“You’re so funny.” I tell him but add “I am going to my bedroom alone.”

“Can I crash on your couch then?” Questions Joe and I nod too tired to say no.

“Sure.” I yawn then ask “Do you want to borrow one of my tee shirts?”

“I doubt they would fit me.” Joe jokes making me roll my eyes.

“I have a bunch of band tees that are in guy’s sizes.” I tell Joe making a beeline for my bedroom hoping that he wouldn't follow me in there with the wrong idea.

“Here.” I hand Joe an old Black Sabbath tee shirt that Lilly had bought me before I went to college it was faded black with holes around the neck.

“Thanks.” Joe nods as I watch him put the tee shirt on in front of me noticing as it stretched across his wide shoulders it was a tight fit but it made him look really good.

“Ok I am going to go pass out now.” I tell Joe picking up my phone from the couch.

“Want me to join you?” Joe questions again the guy was persistent to say the least.

“That is a terrible idea.” I tell Joe then add “I cannot believe I threw up on you.”

“It happened.” Joe shrugs and I watch his eyes scan the living room floor noticing the empty beer cans on the floor.

“I was celebrating.” I smirk at Joe.

“Let’s take this fun to the next room then?” Joe steps forward whilst I try and fail to pull my white vest down further over my grey shorts.

“The party is over.” I dead pan making Joe laugh.

“For now.” Joe winks at me as he lays down on the couch stretching his arms above his head making me check out his muscles and also notice that the tee had risen to reveal bare skin and what looked like a tattoo.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Joe states making me look up at his face he adds “Or I will come over there and drag you back onto the couch.”  
Feeling caught out my face erupts into a deep blush as I mumble that I am going then head to my bedroom hearing my heart beat in my ears as I take a deep breath.

Falling onto my bed face first I listen out for noise hearing Joe remove his boots then knock something over which sounded like empty wine bottles making me bury my face deeper into the duvet and curse.

I swear I had never felt so horny right now almost wanting to call out Joe’s name tell him to come and join me worrying about it becoming awkward tomorrow because right now I needed sex.

My stomach turns in confusion which tells me this line of thinking was a bad idea like I had told Joe so I roll onto my back covering an arm over my eyes letting sleep take me.

Whilst I am drifting off my thoughts arrange themselves and I recall the dream I had woken from this morning Joe kissing his way up my thighs his arms clinging onto my hips as his head dips down and he begins to tease me.

Moaning to myself I wake up suddenly realising that I had been dreaming yet again about the guy who was currently occupying the couch in the living room oh god I was in real trouble and could I be any more deluded?


	16. Friends Without Benefits

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

The sun shining in from my bedroom window already felt warm on my skin as I laid on top of the covers opening my eyes feeling happy and content for all of ten seconds.

Stretching my arms out as I wake up I feel something brush against my hand which makes me twist my head round to the side because I was unsure if I was still dreaming or not.

My top half was wrapped up under the duvet with my legs draped over the top feeling refreshed from sleep until I move the covers to see a heavily tattooed arm attached to a familiar looking guy which makes my mouth hang open.

Joe was lying on his back next to me a hand resting on his chest whist the other is draped behind his head on the pillow he is shirtless and I also notice just wearing a pair of black boxers.

His feet are twisted round the bottom half of the duvet and he looks so peaceful laying there which catches me out until I shake my head letting out a small and frustrated groan.

A million and one thoughts hit me at once but one sticks out the most…did we have sex last night?

My mind goes blank as I continue to stare at Joe watching his chest rise and fall whilst he slept noticing how much space he took up in the bed then my eyes travel down to his firm thighs and boxers.

Hearing a low chuckle I look back up to see Joe grinning at me whilst wiggling his eyebrows because he had just caught me checking him out which both embarrasses and annoys me at the same time.

“What are you doing?” I snap at him as he turns on his side to face me.

"You really need to work on your bedside manner." Joe tells me with a yawn and I roll my eyes back at him.

"I had left you on the couch Joe." I state remembering last night in horrific technicolour which makes me groan again out loud this had to be a nightmare.

Moving away from him I realize that I had taken off my vest during the night and so I was currently topless which makes me grab at the covers clutching it around my chest.

“Don’t be shy.” Joe drawls with a smile looking at me from underneath his lashes then breaks the spell by saying “You were amazing last night.”

“Nothing happened!” I tell him angrily moving away from his outstretched arm whilst his glides his hand gently down my bare back making me shiver involuntarily from his touch. 

“You look so hot when you are angry.” Joe tells me giving me another lazy smile which hits me low in the stomach.

Ignoring him I twist round and stand up from the bed taking some of the duvet with me whilst I bend down to find my white vest on the floor because I had most probably chucked it when I’d gotten too warm in bed last night.

Hearing the mattress move I jump when I look round to see Joe holding my white vest in his hand a confident grin on his face as he looks from the item of clothing back to me.

“Can I have that?” I ask Joe who shakes his head at me.

“It looks better on the floor.” Joe laughs when he sees my face.

“Give that to me.” I snap at Joe as I manage to snatch it from his hand and he gets up from the bed.

“Are you feeling better now?” Joe questions as I turn round silently placing the vest over my head dropping the duvet onto the floor once I am covered.

“Sure.” I tell him not really wanting to talk about last night right now.

“I had fun last night.” Joe tells me as I watch him pull on my old Black Sabbath tee shirt which reminds me that I had been sick on him so there was that I needed to try and forget about.

“Stop it.” I state seriously.

"What no seconds?" Joe winks at me making me feel annoyed because hadn't he embarrassed me enough yet?

"We never had sex." I tell Joe "You snuck into my bed to freak me out and congratulations you did it!"

"Ah you caught me out!" Joe holds his hands in the air as I try to keep my eyes above his stomach as he too stands up and he notices me not quite looking him in the eye.

“Can you put some jeans on?” I ask Joe who his standing there with my tee shirt on and his tight fitting boxers that looked good on him.

“The rumours are all true.” Joe laughs at me which makes me blush whilst he continues to stand there almost like a proud peacock ruffling its feathers.

“All started by you I bet” I retort trying not to think about what Gina had mentioned regarding Joe’s big personality.

“You’re too cute.” Joe states whilst I scrunch my nose up at him because that wasn’t really a compliment.

“It is weird that I have to ask you twice.” I tell Joe quoting from the film The Hangover I add “Will you please put your jeans on.”

“At least you haven’t lost your humour.” Joe smirks at me. 

Needing to get out from my bedroom I head to the bathroom leaving Joe to wrestle back into his jeans whilst I check out my reflection noticing my wide eyed look had made a reappearance.

Joe had a way of getting right under my skin I recall I had even felt this way around him during college but I had buried those feelings deep even then and it was something that I had to do once again.

Having felt this way about a few guys even Joe and of course that asshole Hunter I learned to try and hide my emotions despite the fact that they usually betrayed me.

Placing my hair into a bun on top of my head I brush away the loose make up from my eyes thinking I must have looked hideous to Joe who had thought it funny to sneak into my bed.

.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

We had not had sex last night because I would have remembered such an event seeing that I had been fantasizing about him before I had fallen asleep anyway last night which was ridiculous enough.

It was almost as if I had dreamed him there myself I wonder if that meant Gina and Casey had won the bet even though technically we obviously never hooked up.

“Do you want some coffee?” I hear Joe question banging hard on the bathroom door making me lose my train of thought.

“Sure.” I tell him taking one last look in the mirror before I wrapped my old purple cardigan from the back of the bathroom door around myself for protection.

I didn't trust myself around Joe any more because every time we met something happened between us and now I couldn't see past that dream I had about the guy all my thoughts making me blush.

Again not for the first time I imagine that I am Gina in this scenario waking up next to Joe with his curly mess of hair looking at me through those long lashes with the sexiest grin plastered across his face.

Walking to the kitchen I stand in the doorway with my arms wrapped around my chest smiling whilst I watch Joe trying to navigate his was around shaking his head in the process looking a little confused.

Looking round Joe smiles when he sees me leaning against the kitchen door frame abandoning his search for coffee walking towards me which makes me tighten my grip on my cardigan.

“So we are still friends?” Joe questions with a grin.

“Maybe.” I shrug which makes him pull a sad face.

“Well if I was still your friend.” Joe begins placing a hand above my head “I would have stopped you from going home with that guy George.”

“I wish you had.” I tell him then add “Sorry for being a terrible friend.”

“Apology accepted.” Joe winks at me then asks “But what about us?”

“Us?” I question unsure where Joe was going with this.

“Well seeing we are friends again.” Joe begins looking down at me as I stared up into his face “What about if we help each other out?”

“Wouldn't that complicate things?” I ask Joe remembering how he had mentioned this before back in that late nigh café but soon after he had changed his mind saying that nothing should come between us.

“Let’s keep it simple.” Joe smiles at me then states “Like I said last night it is only sex.”

“I think I need a coffee.” I tell Joe wondering if hooking up would actually help our friendship or hinder it somehow.

Silently I move away from Joe catching him drop his head whilst he ran a hand through his hair I knew what he was offering me but I had a date to worry about and did not need this too.

“I have a date tonight.” I say out loud I think more for my benefit than Joe’s whilst I place the coffee in the jug then switch on the machine to warm up the dark sludge because I totally needed a fix right now.

“Sure.” Joe moves away from the door to stand in front of the fridge blocking me because the kitchen wasn’t that big and it always seemed this guy took up so much space.

“Can’t you see?” I question busying myself by getting two mugs out from the cupboard losing my train of thought as I look back at Joe.

He was leaning up against the fridge now his hands in the front pockets of his black jeans that constant grin attached to his face almost as if he knew what I was thinking.

“Let’s make things interesting then.” Joe states whilst I watch the thick liquid bubble and warm up filling the kitchen with its rich smell that I loved.

“How?” I question with a smile “We are already confusing our friends here by pretending that we are seeing one another.”

“Then stop pretending.” Joe tells me moving away from the fridge to stand right in front of me.

“Joe I-“

“Let’s bet on it.” Joe cuts me off nodding his head as if warming to the idea.

“Not another bet.” I shake my head making Joe give me an interested look.

“What is this other bet?” Joe questions.

“I can’t tell you.” I tell him because he was the main reason for the damn thing I did hate my friends sometimes but it was only for a few brief moments.

“Is it something to do with that sex list of yours?” Joe asks making me look away from him.

“That was a joke.” I tell Joe hoping he will never mention it ever again.

“Well my bet.” Joe begins trying to look serious whilst he spoke but his face cracks into a smile and I roll my eyes at him.

“Do I really want to know?” I ask making Joe chuckle.

“Well if this date with Rob doesn’t pan out.” Joe begins then states “Come find me.” 

“Then what?” I ask playing right into Joe’s hands.

“You’ve lost the bet but won me.” Joe tells me leaning forward making me think he is going to kiss me so I close my eyes but when it doesn’t happened I open them to notice he has switched off the coffee machine instead because it had been beeping.

“You need to stop trying so hard.” I tell Joe once I had turned away from him to pour the coffee into the mugs trying to control my breathing.

“Is that so?” Joe stands close behind me reaching out a hand to take one of the mugs but not before he stroked my arm and I felt his breath on the back of my neck.

“Yes.” I explain to Joe not daring to turn around and face him “Because your bet is just a lie to try and get me into your bed.”

“Of course.” Joe leans closer whispering into my ear picking up my favourite green mug moving away so I look round to see his face.

“Well let’s just forget the bet!” I tell him feeling confident calling Joe out I add “Let the fun begin now.”

“Are you daring me to have sex with you?” Joe asks looking down at me with sin in his eyes and a smile playing round his lips.

“I guess I am.” I tell him standing to my full height knowing that there was no backing down right now he had unleashed my competitive side and I wanted to see how far this would actually go.

Staring at each other waiting for the other person to make a move I felt the heavy tension in the kitchen letting fate decide who was going to make the first move to expel some of this chemistry between us.

“Let’s see who wins this bet first.” Joe finally speaks whilst stepping back looking caught out for a few seconds until he tells me with a smile “Then we can play dare.”

“My date with Rob will be awesome.” I state “This bet will be over even before it begins.”

“But you still want to have sex with me.” Joe laughs when he sees my face.

“You want to have sex with me!” I retort sounding and feeling like an embarrassed teenager.

“Let me know how your date goes.” Joe winks at me then adds “But if you message me I will come by right away.”

“Keep dreaming.” I snort even though my heart was racing once again like it had last night when he had appeared at my door.

“This is only the beginning.” Joe states “Like I said earlier we can help one another out.”

“Sure.” I grin back at him knowing that my date with Rob would work out it just had to because the stakes had gotten even higher.

“So the bet is a go?” Joe ask and I nod.

“We will always be friends without benefits.” I tell Joe who laughs at me.

.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

“But these benefits you speak of are the only perks to us being friends.” Joe grins whilst I feel my face going red because his voice had adopted that deep tone which made my body feel electric.

Joe takes a long drink from my mug even though the coffee was probably still quite hot and I look away to stare at the kitchen side where I see him place the mug back down.

“I better get going.” Joe informs me “Before I do something I won’t regret.”

Walking out from the kitchen Joe grabs his boots sitting on the couch to put them on whilst I finish drinking my coffee slowly following behind him trying to hide the smile on my face.

“I cannot wait for you to prove me right.” Joe smiles at me as he stands up from the couch.

“Well I am looking forward to seeing your face when you realize how wrong you are.” I point at Joe making him pull a funny face in return.

“Enjoy your terrible date tonight.” Joe pats me on the head whilst I bat his hand away playfully.

“I will.” I tell Joe “While you’ll be sitting at home waiting for a message from me that I won’t send.”

“That’s because you will be calling me.” Joe leans down and kisses me gently on the cheek.

“Yeah right.” I nudge him away making him laugh laughs as he opens the front door.

“Catch you later Hobbs.” Joe waves at me as he walks off and I close the door behind me still unsure what the hell had just happened.

Pouring myself another mug of coffee I walk back around the living room picking up the empty wine bottle and beers placing them into a rubbish bag so I could try to forget that last night ever happened.

I just knew that if Gina saw the mess I had made she would freak out plus I bet she had a lot of questions for me after I called her last night sounding very much like a crazy person.

A little later I go and grab my post from downstairs running back to the apartment flicking through the letters until one catches my eye because I recognize the thick white envelope.

Sitting down on the couch I open the letter to see that it was my engagement party invitation from Will and Gabi which has a plus one on it and I had no idea who that was going to be just yet.

Would it even be a good idea to go in the first place it had been almost two months since I had walked out from my job starting a new life only to find myself back at the beginning almost.

Could I face pretending to be happy for Will when in fact I felt the opposite not personally towards him of course but I longed for something he had was that such a bad thing?

Dropping the envelope onto the coffee table I realize that I had a week and a half to decide if I should go or not maybe I could even ask Gina to come as my plus one she would totally put Will and Gabi in their place.

.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

But none of that mattered right now because I had my date tonight with Rob which had to work so I could rub it into Joe’s face seeing that he was usually right but not this time I just needed to prove it.

Joe was not going to win this bet seeing that if he did it meant in turn both Casey and Gina would also succeed proving that everything everybody said was true and that could never happen.

I was more than ready to have a great time with Rob thanks to what had happened with Joe this morning seeing I’ve really had enough of him teasing me all the time.

Sure my mind kept drifting back to Joe and that little dream I had about him but it was innocent enough because soon he was going to be replaced by Rob and all would finally make sense.

For now I focused on work because later I would just be spending the afternoon with Zoe so I had to decide something fun for us to do but it had to be quiet seeing that I was getting a full on headache the kind that make you wince.

It appeared last night was catching up with me even though I thought I had slept really well I did recall twisting around in my sheets obviously alone but my dreams had been full of Joe.

Reminding myself that Harley didn't need to be picked up because he was attending an after school class for science which was something he apparently enjoyed and Demi wanted him to meet more friends.

Harley took everything you said to him to gospel his face usually looking serious whilst his mind worked overtime trying to piece everything together instead of having no weight on his shoulders he carried the world instead.

That was a lot for an eight year old to cope with who obviously loved to behave like a child playing with his younger sister or on his own but sometimes it felt like Demi wanted him to behave like an adult.

He was the older sibling so he had to show a good example to Zoe who cared more about her teddy bears than anything else to even notice how serious Harley got sometimes.

But these were just observations I was still new to the family and getting used to the kids quirks so I couldn't say anything out of place Harley and Zoe were cool little human beings.

Checking my emails whilst crashed out on the couch I find myself on Facebook staring at the friend request from Gabi which I had yet to decide what to do with.

Could I even become friends with Gabi was that a thing seeing that she was going to marry my ex and if I did get to know her then I would still be around Will the idea not pleasing me much.

It was these awkward scenarios which I did not need what happened to getting on with my life and seeing where it took me?

Right now I felt not for the first time that I was going backwards at a very slow speed like I was pushing against time only to fall back onto my ass once again defeated.

Closing my laptop I think of an idea of what I could do with Zoe because I did not want to bore her all afternoon by moping about I needed to remain in a good mood.

Abstract art was one of my favourite types of expression and one that I had used a lot when I could not say the words out loud so I drew lines and shapes instead which helped me work things out.

I always used to carry an A5 notepad around with me in my large rucksack that I had during college finding inspiration in everything even though I found it hard to express myself.

Pete had always teased me ever since I’d first met him when I had walked straight into his friend whilst drawing the guy had turned out to be Joe and I had been mortified for the rest of that day because of it.

Until I had met Hunter whilst I was sitting outside on the grass under a tree on the college grounds and he had thrown a Frisbee over to me and my friend Katy almost hitting her on the head.

As much of a cliché as it was I smiled back at Hunter as he bent down to scoop up the pink Frisbee from us and then he ran off towards his friends leaving me staring after him eyes full of lust.

.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

Then one night at a party Katy had met Pete who I had warned her just like I had Gina that he was a menace with short spiky hair but she’d ignored me falling for his charms somehow leaving me alone.

I recall Joe coming to stand next to me as I stood all alone wondering what the hell I was doing here him telling me stupid jokes making me relax and that was when I was introduced to Hunter.

Recognizing him as the guy with the Frisbee Hunter smiles and hooks me there and then but instead he starts to tell me how awesome Joe was which at that time I hadn't cared about.

I can remember even now how embarrassed Joe had looked his face turning cherry red not having his curly hair to hide behind but I had thought that cute all of five seconds until Hunter had winked at me.

At that very moment I became addicted ignoring Joe who stood shyly next to his friend who had gotten my attention and also my heart racing because I could see myself falling for the guy.

Funny how it came to light only now that Joe had been the good guy all along a really good friend to me at college with Pete by his side all the while I had been eyeing up Hunter like he had been some kind of god.

Joe was still that guy from college really funny and a little dorky but now he was a lot more confident and he knew what he wanted which I think was why I did find myself drawn to him.

Locating my Sharpie colouring pens I begin to draw what comes to me filling the page up with shapes and lines which Is relaxing and I enjoy the time to myself until I see that I am running late for work.

Meeting Zoe outside of her classroom I had to give me name before she is released as all the parents, friends and nannies like me line up to meet the kids.

I always find this time super awkward because a lot of the adults here knew each other and I usually stood silent in the line until I had to say my name and Zoe would come out from the class.

Back when I was younger things were a lot different walking outside to the playground on my own to meet my mum who normally always had some kind of treat for me.

“Riley Hobbs here to pick up Zoe King.” I tell the class room assistant who turns round back into the room not even truly acknowledging my existence.

“Hi.” I hear a female voice state and I turn round to see a pretty redhead smiling widely at me.

“Hey.” I smile back giving a small wave to the woman.

“Are you Zoe’s mum?” The woman asks and I shake my head.

“No.” I tell her unsure how I felt being confused for a mum when I had no kids just yet I add “I am Zoe and her brother Harley’s nanny.”

“Oh.” The woman nods almost sympathetically “I am Nancy Reeds mum.”

“Can we go?” I hear Zoe as she holds out her hand to me looking at the floor miserably.

“Mum!” Yells a high pitched voice as I see a little girl with long red curls push past Zoe like she was invisible jumping excitedly into the arms of the woman talking to me.

“Let’s go.” I tell Zoe taking her hand ignoring the goodbye from the little girl’s mum who I noticed had been watching me thoughtfully like she was assessing me.

.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

Walking out through the green gates of the school I see the look on Zoe’s face noting that she isn’t animated like usual it was almost as if her batteries were running on low.

“Nancy isn’t my friend any more.” Zoe tells me as we round the corner onto the long street where her house was and I notice that she had stopped walking.

“What happened?” I ask as she lets go of my hand and she begins to stomp her foot on the pavement deep in thought.

“Nancy took my friend Libby away from me making me mad.” Zoe begins to explain whilst looking up at me.

“Didn't your teacher do anything?” I question.

“No but I moved my seat away from them.” Zoe tells me and I explain that was the best thing to do.

“Friends don’t be mean to you.” I inform Zoe who nods.

“I don’t like Libby no more.” Zoe shrugs at me then tells me “But I have my bears.”

Skipping off up the street I feel something in my throat Zoe sounded so grown up just like her brother which I guess had its perks I just hoped that I could cheer her up this afternoon.

“If you have any more problems.” I tell Zoe as she begins to jump on the spot waiting for me to catch up with her “Always tell your teacher.”

“I will.” Zoe grins at me then adds “I want to get them both into big trouble.”

Revenge is sweet I think to myself but don’t voice this out loud to the six year old giving her the wrong idea getting her into trouble.

We find Demi in the kitchen amongst folders and empty mugs around her as she sat at the table but looks up with a huge grin on her face when she spots her daughter running up to her.

I notice the tired look on Demi’s face accompanied by red eyes that almost look like she had been crying but I do not pry instead I mention what Zoe had told me whilst the she had ran off to collect Holly and Danny her bears.

“I will speak to her later.” Demi tells me then reminds me that she will be picking up Harley later and I won’t be needed to stay with Zoe as they were all going out tonight.

“Oh where are you heading?” I ask trying to keep the conversation going even though Demi was looking away at me and focusing on the paperwork in front of her.

“A meal out then Zoe is staying at a friend’s.” Demi tells me still not making eye contact adding “Hopefully my husband can make it tonight also.”

“Sounds like fun.” I non at Demi who looks back down at her work letting out a huge sigh.

Demi appears very standoffish right now like she has either forgotten I was even here or she could not be bothered to piece together a sentence and talk to me. 

“I have a date tonight.” I explain to Demi who finally looks up at me.

“So where are you off to then?” Demi questions with a suggestive smile on her face.

“Going to an art gallery in town.” I tell Demi with a grin.

“Then back to his?” Demi questions with a glint in her eye.

“Not sure.” I mumble feeling my face going red because I wasn’t going to tell Demi that all I could think about was making it with Rob.

“I hate boys.” Zoe moans as she walks back into the kitchen overhearing the conversation.

“Now why is that?” Demi asks her daughter grinning at me.

“Mikey in my class keeps pulling my hair so I pushed him over.” Zoe explains with a shake of her head.

“That isn’t nice.” Demi gives her daughter a look then adds “I think Mikey likes you.”

I love the look Zoe gives her mum as she stares up at her with a really confused look on her face which makes me giggle.

“Is he your boyfriend?” Demi asks Zoe who pulls a face.

“No way.” Zoe shakes her head then states “Boys are stupid.”

“I agree.” I wink at Zoe whilst Demi laughs at me.

.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

Sitting with Zoe in the large family den I show her my drawings that I had done earlier which she finds funny then we both continue to draw together for a few hours.

Explaining to a six year old about abstract expression as briefly as I could Zoe seems happy with my description when she informs me that drawing is fun no matter how silly it looks to someone else.

Very wise words from Zoe who I watch drawing on her notepad lines over lapping as she focuses on the page again lost in thought looking just like her mum in the kitchen.

At half five Demi takes Zoe to pick up Harley so I leave them to their fun evening eagerly awaiting my own when I gratefully return home to an empty apartment.

I still hadn't heard back from Gina either which worried me a little because I did not want her calling me during my date or hunting me down because I was keeping it all a secret until tomorrow.

Right now I needed to prepare for my date not thinking about what Joe had said to me this morning or the way he had made me feel because I needed to forget about that fantasy.

Checking my phone once out from the shower I notice that I have a message and it is from Joe which makes me grin as I stand there in my room with a peach coloured towel wrapped around myself.

_“Hope your date sucks don’t forget the bet.”_

This makes me laugh as I type out a reply smirking at my screen _“The bet sucks my date will be awesome.”_

Once dressed I decide on which bag to use for tonight crouching down to look at the bottom of one of my wardrobes where I kept a lot of my accessories. 

Stepping into my favourite brown ankle boots which went well with the mustard coloured leopard print dress I had on made me feel good and ready to have some fun tonight.

Whilst I was straightening my hair in the mirror checking my eye-liner hadn't smudged I hear my phone ping once more so I snatch it up from my bed a wicked grin still present on my face.

_“Don’t go thinking of me all night when you are on your sham date.”_

This made me laugh out loud as I switch off my straighteners replacing them on the side wondering what I could say back to Joe’s message or I could just leave him hanging instead.

Deciding to leave it there for now because I did not want to be messaging Joe throughout my date I place my phone and purse into a dark blue clutch bag I had picked out earlier then head right out the door.

But then I get a call from Rob telling me he is running late and I should meet him at a bar called Slater’s which was near the gallery and I try not to sound worried because I needed tonight to work.

.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

No pressure.

Luckily the apartment I shared with Gina was very central so I decide to walk to the bar which was near a bunch of little independent stores before you got to the mall and the large cinema complex.

If these past two months had taught me anything it was to keep my guard up and be very wary having the events from the speed dating to my night with George haunt my thoughts.

But that was me as usual putting myself down before anybody else could which was something I needed to quit doing because it was about time my confidence went to the next level.

I have had enough of my self-esteem being knocked down and if Joe had anything to do with it he was first in line usually to put a huge grin on my face but what were friends for?

Slater’s was pretty much like Rouge a little on the pretentious side but it appeared to be more eclectic reminding me briefly of my aunts place Upside Down which it obviously wasn’t nowhere near as good as.

White painted walls with the Slater’s logo of two beer bottles stencilled in black high above the wooden benches alongside metal chairs and the bar in the centre of the room with all the drinks on display on glass shelves.

It was like a brightly lit beacon guiding me inside as I navigated my way around the benches to the round bar which sadly didn't have any stools for me to sit on it was just standing room only.

Ordering a beer I stand there awkwardly wondering what to do whilst I try to spy a spare table which wasn’t occupied but the place was very animated for a Thursday evening. 

Pulling my phone out from my bag I am very close to messaging Joe just because I needed something to do and maybe I was enjoying all the flirting we were embarking on still a little scared at the prospect of the next step.

I bet Joe would just love it if I did turn up unannounced at his apartment carry on where we had left off this morning in my kitchen which had intrigued me I must admit.

Not that anything would happen between me and Joe oh no I was all about Rob and it would be him I’d be pleasing tonight hopefully getting something in return also.

“Are you a tiger baby?” I hear someone ask as I notice a shadow in front of me making me look up from my phone.

There is a guy in front of me who appears to be waiting for me to reply to his question which was both idiotic and a terrible chat up line.

“If you are referring to my dress.” I give the guy a look then add “It is leopard print tigers have stripes.”

“Ok, I'm interested.” The guy states introducing himself as Ed telling me that I could join him and his friends.

“I am waiting for someone.” I tell Ed noticing the smile on his face taking in his short brown hair the small scar on his left cheek until I realize I am staring so I replace my phone back into my clutch bag.

.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

“There is nowhere else to sit and I cannot leave someone as hot as you here all alone.” Ed tells me which has the desired effect in making me smile because I did feel damn good right now in this dress.

“Ok you got me.” I smile but inform him “When I see who I am meeting I will have to leave you.”

“Let’s hope your date doesn’t show up.” Ed winks at me which reminds me of Joe and makes my face erupt into a blush which makes the guy grin at me.

“Don’t forget your drink.” Ed tells me as I pick it up then follow him towards a bench where there are two guys and girls already sitting there in what looked like deep conversation.

“Hey guys I found a tiger!” Ed jokes terribly making me smile awkwardly at his friends who look up at me.

“Ignore him.” One of the girls a blonde with short hair in tight curls smiles at me and I smirk back.

“I’m Jaz.” Begins the girl next to the blonde with long raven coloured hair in a high ponytail “This is Taylor next to me and these two gorgeous guys here are Evan and Lee.”

Introductions over Taylor moves to one side after I explain to them that I was waiting for someone so I take a seat next to her placing my beer down in front of me.

The conversation explodes as the friends talk over one another all at once which reminds me of when I sit and chat with Gina or Casey trying to shout of each other the thought makes me smile.

I learn that Evan and Lee are seeing one another this is only their third date together and the pair are all over one another sitting close exchanging heated glances making it all look so easy.

Jaz, Taylor and the guy I met at the bar Ed are all on the look-out to meet someone so I explain how I am waiting for my date which sets off the bench again shouting over one another just like moments ago.

“Did I not impress you with my chat up lines then?” Ed questions with a sulky look on his face which I think is real until a wide grin appears on his face.

“No sorry.” I tell him shaking my head adding “But they will on some other lucky girl.”

“What does your date look like?” Questions Jaz twisting a lock of her long hair around one of her fingers looking up at me expectantly.

Grabbing my beer I take a long gulp then decide to place it back down because I wasn’t going to get wasted tonight and forget things I wanted to have fun and that meant I put away the beer soaked glasses I usually wore.

“He is tall and friendly-“

“Sounds like Casper.” Dead pans Ed comparing my date to the cartoon ghost of the same name.

“He’s super-hot and I am really nervous.” I continue ignoring Ed’s poor attempt at a joke confining in the others that maybe I did need some more drink before I ventured out on this date.

Luckily before I ask Ed if he could go to the bar for me I recognize Rob in the crowd and feel my mouth hang open because he looked so good even from across the room.

His hair looked styled yet messy I notice as I watch him re adjust his glasses whilst he scanned the crowd hopefully looking for me as I take note of his light blue jeans and crisp white looking deep v tee shirt.

“There he is.” I state going to hold my hand up in the air but Taylor leans over her friend Jaz to snatch it down before I begin to wave at Rob attempting to get his attention.

“You go over there.” Taylor tells me still holding onto my hand grinning at me she adds “Be confident not nervous because it is a total turn off.”

“Good luck.” Jaz smiles at me as I stand from the bench waving goodbye to the group of friends then placing a hand onto Ed’s shoulder as he looked upset because I was leaving.

“We could have been good.” Ed tells me as I shake my head.

“You’re too good for me.” I explain making him laugh.

“Nice meeting you Riley.” Ed grins at me as I nod back then head off towards Rob who is still amongst the crowd.

.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

Smiling when Rob spots me he begins to walk over meeting me half way as he leans down to kiss me on the cheek apologizing that he was late but I tell him not to worry because I had made some friends.

“The gallery is just up the street.” Rob tells me then adds “I cannot wait for you to meet Jeremy.”

“Who’s Jeremy?” I question suddenly wondering if this was a date at all or had I got it all wrong.

“He works at a gallery in town and is an old friend of mine.” Rob states but that doesn’t really reassure me because I didn’t think bringing friends along on dates was a thing.

Straight ahead like Rob had said we stop outside a coffee shop called Cup of Joe which makes me wonder if that was a sign for how tonight was going to pan out but I pushed that thought far out of my mind.

“Just in here.” Rob grins at me taking my hand which I let him as he guides me through the small shop the strong smell of coffee awaking my senses as I enjoy the feel of my hand in Rob’s.

At the end of the narrow shop there was another small white door which Rob opens to a tiny courtyard that had two round metal tables with people chain smoking and talking loudly around them.

It is there that I notice a sign it was wooden and had a coffee mug painted onto it with the words Cup of Art hanging above an open door which I assumed was the gallery.

“There’s Jeremy!” Yells Rob as he lets go of my hand pointing at the guy approaching us.

I watch as Jeremy stops in front of us patting Rob hard on the back he was the same height as my date with dark grey shot hair and a designer beard which looked like he trimmed it frequently.

“Jeremy this is my date Riley.” Rob looks excitedly from his friend back to me.

“It’s a pleasure.” Jeremy begins looking far from it then adds “You look too gorgeous to be on a date with this guy.”

“Thanks.” I grin not really knowing what to say to that.

“Hey.” Rob nudges his friend hard on the shoulder then looks at me “I’ve known this guy for too long.”

“Let’s talk over drinks later.” Jeremy begins then winking at me adds “Right now it’s time to go see some real art.”

Rob lets me walk through first into a small room with grey walls that had paintings on them and several animal statues with different colored plastic bags over them which looked awful.

I was presuming that they were animals because the large clay statues were not very detailed and I watch as on cue both Rob and Jeremy stop still and each place a hand under their chins.

At the same time which almost sets me off giggling as the three of us walk around the small room checking out each painting whilst I try not to walk into the two other people in there.

I never took going to a gallery seriously sure I’ve enjoyed showcases in the past but I hated being told that I should or shouldn’t like certain pieces because that wasn’t art.

It was up to the person viewing the piece making their own mind up deciding on how they felt as they looked at the image creating their own views not for someone to pour water over them and be an asshole about it.

There was a second room next to the grey room which hadn’t held any interest for me so I head through the open door leaving my date looking around the light pink room making me smile.

I spend what feels like ages staring at each piece on the walls familiar with the drawings of characters from a bunch of dark indie films I loved by one of my favorite directors Frank Grace.

There was a well-worn rug in the centre of the room which made the room feel cozy as I smiled at each of the paintings remembering what films the characters were from this was art to me a mixture of pop culture and memories.

I let Rob and Jeremy talk amongst themselves as I head back into the first room finding a tray of tiny plastic glasses that had what I assumed pink wine in them and I decide there and then it was something that I needed.

“So what do you think of this room?” Jeremy asks me once I have finished my third glass of wine which equated to one full glass if you think about it.

“It’s cool.” I nod which appeared to be the wrong answer “But I prefer the second room Frank Grace is one of my favourite directors.”

“His films are terrible.” Jeremy informs me making me bite my tongue.

“Don’t worry about him.” Rob states as he notices my face.

“I work for a local gallery.” Jeremy tells me importantly then questions “I don’t know if you have heard of it it’s called On Point?”

Of course I have heard of it I think as I look away from Rob and his friend trying to remain calm because Jeremy was supposed to have been the guy who to interview me for that ridiculous job I recall angrily.

“Yeah I’ve been to that gallery.” I explain feeling annoyed when I see the look that Jeremy gives my date and I realize this guy is a douche bag.

“I used to work there.” Rob grinned at me then added “But now I work for my own small company helping to sell my friends art.”

“Sounds a bit like eBay.” I joke which doesn’t get the attention of the whole room because neither guy acknowledges it.

“It is so our work gets sold to real people who are interested in the understanding of it not just because it matches the colour of their wallpaper.” Jeremy tells me in a tone that suggests I am out of line but he was the one totally ruining my date here.

“What he said.” Rob jokes then adds “I just like good art.” 

“Me too.” I smile back making Rob grin back.

Jeremy mutters something under his breath and he looks caught out as I give him a look even though I had no idea what he had said but it had appeared to be aimed at me.

“I even had an interview at your little gallery.” I tell Jeremy who looks shocked for a few seconds until he composes himself.

“Why didn't you employ her?” Scolds Rob pretending to jab his friend in his stomach playfully.

I take another little plastic drink from the tray in front of me watching as two more people walk into the room making me feel very claustrophobic as I down the pink drink quickly. 

“I never interviewed Riley.” Jeremy looked shamefaced because he nor his asshole colleague didn't employ me at that pretentious gallery I had no idea how precious the work in that tiny room was or some shit like that.

Walking outside seeing that I felt like I couldn't focus on anything right now seeing that Jeremy was set on ruining my night but I had ways of making Rob forget about his friend seeing how I was the one he kept checking out.


	17. My Only Hope

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Looking up at the night sky I wish to myself that Jeremy would just fuck off somewhere because he was totally messing up this date and I wanted to get to know Rob a little first.

Reminding me of that awful interview I had bought back memories of me going to see Joe afterwards exchanging stories of how fucked up we were but he had made me laugh cheering me up if only for a little while.

Glancing back down from the sky I see Jeremy answer his phone as soon as it begins to ring which makes me smile because it will give me a few moments alone with Rob so I make my move quick.

Maybe we could walk away and leave Jeremy here seeing how he loved the place so much when all I cared about was hanging out with Rob just the two of us.

“So what’s happening now?” I ask Rob walking over to stand next to him putting on my best smile which catches his attention.

“Let’s go back to Slaters.” Rob states then adds “I want to hear more about you.”

“Oh you do?” I question moving closer to him with a grin.

“Totally.” Rob chuckles “I was enjoying our messages to one another last night.”

“Me too.” I tell him honestly then add “You stayed on my mind all night.”

Sure that sort of a lie because Joe had been the one to invade my private thoughts even staring in my fantasies which I needed to put a stop to but tonight I would be making new ones.

Rob was currently grinning at me looking surprised at my admission but I wanted him to ditch his friend and spend more time on me hopefully ending back at his place.

“Now that is hot.” Rob states rewarding me with a sexy smile.

“It’s only the beginning.” I laugh at his shocked face feeling a rush of pleasure.

I see Jeremy end his call looking behind him to see me and Rob standing together and I look away hoping he would walk off and leave us alone for the rest of the night.

Rob I notice is checking me out as he tells me a little bit more about the gallery here which wasn’t that great because whenever Lilly had a showcase in Upside Down it was always good stuff.

I wondered if Jeremy had even stepped foot in my aunt’s place but hoped that he hadn’t because I imagined him being really critical and just being your basic asshole.

“What are you guys up to now?” Jeremy questions having sadly walked back over to us interrupting my thoughts as I had been listening to Rob because he had been making jokes about this place.

“We are heading to Slaters.” Rob informs his friend placing an arm around my neck pulling me closer to him which I allow him to in the hope that Jeremy finally took the hint.

“Cool.” Jeremy nods “I need a beer right now.”

Walking passed us Jeremy heads back in the direction of the bar whilst I try to hide the look on my face seeing that my dates friend was very thick skinned and oblivious to what was happening around him.

“We can lose Jeremy in the crowd.” Rob whispers in my ear as he leans in close and I smell a mixture of detergent and spicy aftershave.

“Sounds like a plan.” I grin back as we walk forward Rob’s arm still around my neck as we follow Jeremy back to the bar and I hope that it was still super busy.

We had been at the gallery for over an hour but it felt like my time was spent listening to Jeremy talk and of course drinking those little glasses of pink wine which had helped make time go a little faster.

“He isn’t that bad a guy once you get to know him.” Rob informs me and I highly doubt it but do not voice this so I just nod and agree instead. 

The bar is still busy as Rob pushes past a group of people standing around just outside the entrance taking hold of my hand as he had moved his arm away from my neck but he looks back to see if I am behind him.

“I don’t want to lose you.” Rob winks at me tugging on my hand as we walk inside together.

Letting go of my hand I do not see Jeremy hoping instead that he has wandered off or met someone he knew but then I see him wave a hand as he stood next to an empty bench.

“I’ll grab us some beers you go and sit with Jeremy.” Rob tells me when I would much rather stay at the bar with him but I head over anyway because I could at least pretend to like his friend.

“Where’s Rob?” Jeremy questions so I explain he is getting us drinks whilst I sit down at the empty bench.

Silence follows as Jeremy sits down on the opposite side looking like it was the worst thing in the world being left alone with me which made me feel the same way so that made two of us.

“Why did you apply for a job at the galley?” Jeremy asks me as I notice the ugly smirk on his face almost as if he was just about to insult me.

“I wanted a job.” I tell him not really wanting to get into it and revisit one of the shittiest days of my life.

“But do you actually like art?” Jeremy asks me making me look up from my phone I had taken out from my clutch bag.

“I do actually!” I snap back at him seeing his eyes widen so I lower my voice and sarcastic tone adding “I studied art at college here in Greendale.”

“Lack of experience.” Jeremy nods at me as if that explained everything as he looks at me critically like I was a painting he just didn’t get or appreciate for that matter.

“I have a much better job now.” I snort still not giving much away because this guy did not need to know about me I was here to impress Rob not him.

Looking around I do not see the people I had met earlier Ed and his friends which was a shame because I could have seen me getting along with them even though we had only met briefly.

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

“Is he boring you?” Rob questions thankfully reappearing with three beers and I nod my thanks as he hands one of them to me.

“I’ve got a call.” Jeremy states getting up from the bench and walking off without saying anything else which confirms my suspicions that he is an asshole and I beg that he doesn’t come back.

“He is normally friendlier.” Rob smiles at me and I just shrug my shoulders because I didn’t care.

“Now it is just us.” I smile at him taking a drink from my bottle telling myself not to have too many because I needed to enjoy myself tonight.

“As I said I’ve known him for a long time.” Rob begins then adds “Me, Jeremy and Charlie have known each other since we all worked at On Point a few years ago.”

I nod as Rob continues to tell me that it is their friend Charlie who owns both the coffee and art gallery we had just been to it had always been his dream to own a place.

It appears he regards both of his friends very highly as he continues to talk about them at length I just nod at the right moments.

“That’s cool.” I smile then add “I used to dream of having my own photography studio but that was a while ago.”

“So you are creative too?” Questions Rob with a smirk “I could tell you see.”

This felt good opening up to Rob unlike my previous conversations with other guys I have met recently Joe excluded of course because I could talk to him about anything.

Just not about sex seeing how he made me feel with my clothes on I did not dare to think what would happen if he did make a move on me I would be embarrassed that I wasn’t experienced enough to say the least.

“Hey.” Rob grins shaking me from my thoughts making me giggle nervously.

“I am quite creative.” I tell him “When it comes to art and in the bedroom too.”

“I like.” Rob laughs whilst I cringe at what I had just said because it had sounded quite cheesy.

This was what I wanted us to flirt without his friend making snide comments in the background or looking down at me like I wasn’t even worth his time even though it was the other way round.

Joe’s bet wasn’t going to get the better of me this morning we had both been flirting pretty hard but I just saw it as practice trying to get a rise from one another which was what had exactly happened.

“Do you want another drink?” Rob questions as I realize that I have finished mine already a little while later gripping onto the bottle firmly making my knuckles go white.

“Sure. “ I nod deciding one more would not hurt I wanted to feel relaxed not end up drunk again like last night.

Watching Rob leave the bench I check my phone to see I have no message and just as I begin to type out something to send Joe showing him that I was having fun I see Jeremy has made a reappearance.

“Where did Rob go?” Jeremy questions not even looking at me whilst he speaks.

“More beer.” I tell him simply then ask “What are you doing back here?”

“I need to talk to Rob.” Jeremy states finally looking up at me “No big deal just someone he knows is here.”

Hoping that it wasn’t his other friend Charlie I nod at Jeremy who ignores me not even making eye contact but it wasn’t going to ruin my evening.

“It’s back!” Rob cheers this time carrying a tray with four beers on them and I scowl at Jeremy as he snatches one away.

“Only here to tell you-“

“That Riley is awesome!” Finishes Rob cutting off his friend who glares at me.

“I am surprised you think that.” Jeremy begins then adds “You don't normally go for brunettes.”

“Don’t be a dick.” Rob laughs awkwardly at Jeremy who shrugs and I roll my eyes he was pathetic.

“Has he tried any of his chat up lines on you?” Jeremy questions ignoring the looks Rob was giving him.

“He doesn’t need to.” I state “This is a date we are past chat up lines.”

“It’s a weird date.” Jeremy comments flippantly.

“Only because we have a third wheel.” I retort back making Jeremy get back up from the bench.

“On that note.” Jeremy points at Rob then tells him “I will be right back.”

Why couldn’t the idiot take the hint he was not wanted here maybe Rob needed to realize this too and it would help my case.

“Do you want to hear one?” Rob asks me making me look away from Jeremy’s retreating back as he gets lost in the crowd.

“One what?” I question not really listening so I look across the bench back at my date.

“Chat up line.” Rob states then adds with a grin “I have loads of them.”

“Go on then.” I smile back wanting to get back into an easy conversation with the hot guy opposite me.

“If I could rearrange the alphabet.” Begins Rob trying to keep a straight face he adds “I would put U and I together” 

“That is terrible!” I laugh pretending to get up from the bench grabbing my clutch bag at the same time.

“No wait!” Rob grins at me holding out a hand making me laugh “I have more.”

“Are you a mirror?” Questions Rob winking at me “Because I really like what I see in you.”

“Ah that is so cute.” I roll my eyes giggling seeing that they were both terrible lines but they may have just worked on me.

“So do we have a second date?” Rob asks taking a long gulp of beer.

“Tonight has only just begun.” I begin with a smile then state “I plan on being out all night.”

“With me I hope?” Questions Rob leaning over the bench readjusting his black framed glasses grinning madly at me.

“Continue with those chat up lines.” I joke “And I am all yours.”

“I knew it.” Rob laughs as he stands up then comes and sit next to me on the bench sitting as close as possible.

“You had me with those messages last night.” Rob tells me placing a hand on the top of my thigh and I let him.

“Let’s not rush things.” I smile “I want to get to know you.”

So talk continues between us as I tell Rob about my job which I am really enjoying and he mentions how he has to give a speech at his friend’s engagement party.

“I have to go to one of those soon.” I tell Rob then add “It’s complicated.”

“It isn’t for a couple named Owen and Maya is it?” Rob questions and I shake my head.

“No it is for my ex and his new fiancé.” I explain whilst looking at my beer bottle thoughtfully.

“Ouch.” Rob pulls a face.

“I am moving on and so is he.” I shrug wondering why I was even talking about this.

“It is very brave you are going alone.” Rob tells me which makes me look up at him trying to figure out what he meant.

“I have someone in mind to take with me.” I explain meaning Joe but I see the look Rob just gave me so I think he has the wrong idea.

“Well it is a little early planning ahead-“

“Oh no I am just going with a friend!” I cut in before Rob thinks I am inviting him.

“I don’t need to be jealous do I?” Rob questions with a grin.

“It’s only Joe.” I state even though I had no idea if he actually would go with me in the first place.

“The guy from the bar?” Rob asks with a tone in his voice that sounded like he was a little jealous.

“He’s an old friend.” I tell Rob waving the comment off because I didn't want to be talking about Joe right now.

Thankfully Jeremy chooses this moment to come back to the bench just before I had to get into the story of me and Joe because I could see the tense look on Rob’s face.

“Look who I found!” Yells Jeremy moving to one side so I see he is standing next to a girl with very straight blonde hair to her shoulders that matches the severe look on her face.

“Your girlfriend well done.” Snorts Rob moving a little away from me as I notice the now angry look on his face like things had taken a sudden turn somewhere.

“This is Rob’s date.” Jeremy points at me whilst the two of them sit down opposite us.

“Riley.” I tell the blonde who looks less than interested in me not even making eye contact just like her boyfriend.

“What are you doing here Amy?” Questions Rob which really sets the mood as I see a tense look pass across Jeremy’s face what the hell was going on here right now.

“Jeremy called me.” Amy looks at her boyfriend winking at him “Said you had a date and I just had to come meet her.”

“Have you and Jeremy been together for long?” I ask Amy trying to steer the conversation somewhere because I did not need my date to turn out like the others a fucking mess.

“A few months.” Amy tells me with a wave of her hand then states “Thanks to Rob.”

A look I cannot quite describe passes between Amy and Rob until Jeremy puts an arm around his girlfriend and she looks away from my date.

Jeremy then goes on to tell me that Amy has been a friend of theirs for a while and I listen as I see sneaked glances pass between the blonde and Rob which makes me wonder if there is more here than meets the eye.

“Rob I thought you liked blondes?” Questions Amy making Jeremy move his arm away from her.

“I need some air.” I stand up getting really annoyed with Rob’s friends and whatever game they were playing with one another.

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Leaving them to it I walk out towards the open courtyard which was littered with round and square tables taking a few deep breaths telling myself that all was not lost and I could fix this.

Holding my bag tightly I wonder how I am going to play this next because I needed to know why Rob was acting funny around the blonde Amy because I truly hated Jeremy right now that much was obvious.

Thankfully I notice Rob walking over to me as I cross my arms around my chest hoping that this wasn’t the end of the night because we had been having fun together.

“Sorry about that.” Rob tells me shaking his head then adds “I didn’t think Jeremy would still be here.”

“He has overstayed his welcome.” I dead pan making Rob smirk at me.

“Jeremy has a habit of doing that.” Rob smirks at me stepping closer so I relax my arms letting the sudden tension I had felt wash away.

“So who is this Amy again?” I ask wanting to know what was really going on because that look Rob had been giving his friends spoke volumes.

“It’s a long story.” Rob shakes his head at me not willing to explain even though I thought I deserved it.

“We have all night.” I joke again making Rob grin.

“Amy is seeing Jeremy but she really likes me even though I don’t feel the same way it is all very high school.” Rob states what I hope is truthfully.

“I thought we all grew out of that shit when we were reached our twenties.” I state making Rob nod in agreement.

“Me too but between Jeremy winding me up and Amy being a huge pain I am left stuck in the middle.” Rob explains scratching the back of his head thoughtfully.

“It is a good thing you met me then.” I step closer to Rob standing away from the wall I had been leaning up against.

“I am so glad you haven’t left the bar.” Rob smirks his eyes gliding over my body making me want to leap into his arms but I restrain myself.

“No way.” I tell Rob brushing off his comment I add “I want to see how tonight ends.”

“That’s good so do I.” Rob laughs as he watches me lick my lips in pure anticipation.

Things get interesting when Rob steps even closer to me leaning forward so our lips meet for the first time.

Smiling at one another leads to us making out together with my back now pressed firmly against the brick wall not caring who was watching us.

I really did need to forget about the annoying Jeremy, Amy his girlfriend who would not put a dampener on my night and Joe who was always on my mind recently but that would hopefully soon change.

“That has certainly improved my mood.” Rob winks at me as he snakes his arms around my waist pulling me closer to his body.

“Let’s do that again-“

“Rob there you are!” Cuts in Jeremy appearing once again to ruin the moment because Rob moves his hands away from me turning round to glare at his friend.

“What?” Rob snaps thankfully beginning to get pissed off with Jeremy like me.

“Amy left she is upset with us.” Jeremy states making Rob roll his eyes.

“Well she’s your girlfriend.” Rob tells him “I suggest you go and find her just leave me and Riley alone.”

“Whatever.” Jeremy shrug his shoulders then adds “I am heading back to the gallery.”

Just like he had stormed over here Jeremy finally disappears without looking back but he had left his mood with Rob who was cursing under his breath.

“I am glad he is gone.” I joke making Rob look up at me “I thought he was part of this date.”

“Jeremy is terrible with women.” Rob grins at me placing a hand back onto the side of my waist slowly stroking his thumb over the soft material of my dress.

“I chose the right guy then.” I laugh kissing Rob again but then an image of Joe from this morning crops up in my mind which makes me pull away from him.

No idea why the memory of Joe pretending to be asleep in my bed in his boxers had appeared and now it was all I could think about which was the last thing I needed.

“Amy is using Jeremy to try and get to me.” Rob tells me seriously.

“Obviously it isn’t working right?” I question as Rob shakes his head whilst pulling a no –way face and I hope that he is telling the truth again.

“Of course I am here with you aren't I?” Rob laughs as he winks at me.

“Well come here and kiss me again then.” I order as Rob obliges and I try to block out all other thoughts from my mind focusing on this right now.

“Do you want another drink?” Rob asks me a few minutes later moving away as I grin back at him.

“I think I would much rather go back to your apartment.” I state making Rob’s eyes widen as I think I have made the right move.

“That is the right answer.” Rob grins back at me adding “I cannot wait any longer I want you now.”

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Getting a cab I am practically on Rob’s laps with his arms wrapped around my waist as we make out in the back seat which makes me feel like I need to control myself but I can’t.

I am not drunk but I cannot get enough of this moment the anticipation running right through me making my mind rush all the while wishing the cab would go faster.

Brushing Joe from my mind as best as I could I let Rob glide heavy kisses down the side of my neck which I obviously enjoy but I did not want to rush this like I had with George because that had ended badly.

Finally outside an apartment block Rob takes my hand and informs me how much great company I had been tonight and he wished that Jeremy hadn’t ruined the end of the date.

“The fun is just getting started.” I tell Rob who chuckles at me making me worry that he is trying to let me down or something like he had decided he did not want to have sex with me.

Suddenly my phone rings and I try my hardest to ignore it thinking that it was just Gina wanting to catch up or even Joe who would want to weigh in on my date.

“Are you going to get that?” Rob questions as my bag continues to ring and I glare at it wishing it would stop.

“It can wait.” I look up at Rob with a smile.

I would call Joe later anyway just to spite him to explain that he had lost the bet because if I played my cards right now I would soon be getting to know Rob in a whole new light.

“Let’s take this to my bedroom then!” Rob cheers making me laugh as he places a key over the intercom letting us through a heavy glass automatic door letting us both inside.

We make it up one flight of stairs towards his apartment then Rob turns round sliding an arm around my waist pulling me closer to him almost making me trip over but he guides me directly to his lips.

“Can I have you here?” Rob questions making me laugh.

“You have to wait-“

“I cannot wait any longer!” Rob cuts me off lifting me up grabbing onto my thighs as my dress lifts up and I automatically wrap my arms around his neck as we slowly make our way up the second flight of stairs.

“Don’t drop me!” I giggle as Rob stops to kiss me once again pushing my back against the handrail as he grips onto me tightly and I feel his belt buckle pinch into my thigh but I do not care.

Wondering if Rob was struggling to hold me his face gives nothing away as he grips onto my thighs tighter and I feel his fingers dig into my skin.

Somehow making it to the top of the stairs Rob puts me down which makes a moan escape my lips and I see him grin at me as we head to the first door and he already has his key ready to open it.

There was no ulterior motive here we were both going to have a little fun and I could hardly wait seeing how hot I felt this was going to be good.

As soon as we are in the hallway Rob removes his tee shirt and I know he means business as I step out of my heels and he grabs my hand pulling me into his bedroom.

“You ready?” Rob questions still holding my hand he then grabs my arm tugging me to sit on the bed and I end up collapsing on top of him.

I can hear Rob unbuckling his belt as he bites the skin on my neck hard which makes me groan as I sit up straddling him running my hands down his chest which had very near hair on it like he trimmed it regularly.

Standing up off the bed I remove my dress smiling as Rob watches me then I lean forward to pull down his jeans a little noticing he wasn’t wearing boxers and I watch as his erection springs free from its denim confines.

“What are you going to do?” Rob questions with a grin.

This was the million dollar question even though it was obvious I was about to suck his dick but I wasn’t very good at sounding dirty during sex it usually made me feel like an idiot.

“Suck you off of course.” I tell him which makes Rob drop his head unsure if I had said the right thing so I take the task in hand leaning forward so I could wrap my mouth around his cock.

I listen as Rob hisses in appreciation I hope as I run my tongue down the length of his dick then back up slowly to cover my lips over his tip which makes him grip my head as if to guide me closer.

Whilst I am bobbing my mouth up and down on his cock I count five times then I soon feel warm cum hit the back of my throat followed by lots of swearing from Rob leaving more than just a bad taste in my mouth.

“Oh that was so good.” Rob grins at me as I look up at him wondering if that was either the quickest blow job I had taken part in or my mind had drifted off and it had only just finally just happened.

“I am glad you liked it.” I nod awkwardly standing up to watch Rob grip his own dick slowly jerking it back to life whilst he gritted his teeth the expression on his face almost making me want to burst out into laughter.

Speeding things along I un clip my bra from the back letting it drop onto the bedroom floor noticing the thick blue carpet and how everything was white but that wasn’t important so I order myself to get into the mood.

Cupping my breasts I bite my lip awkwardly at Rob who grins at me and I slide my hands down to my stomach then pull on my black lace underwear tugging them to the floor.

“Come here.” Rob orders me so I step out from my lingerie then walk towards Rob who lets go of his cock so I straddle him whilst he adds a condom from his bedside table then I am ready.

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Sliding into me instantly I try to enjoy the sensation of his tongue on my nipples as he sucks them because his dick is truly not hitting any spot as he thrusts out of sync with me and I curse in annoyance.

“Is that good baby?” Rob questions as I try my hardest not to shake my head instead I nod and smile making a few noises just so he knew how much I was apparently enjoying it.

Rob is staring at me trying to read my face so I decide to put on a little show my gasps getting louder as his grunting gets deeper and I am ashamed to say I fake it whilst Rob obviously gets to the finish line.

“That was amazing.” Rob smiles at me as I roll off of him laying on my back next to him on the bed feeling a little dirty but not in a good way.

It had been a good evening despite Rob’s friends but now the sex was a problem because that had been going the right way until he had begun to rush me and pull that face like he wanted me to make more of an effort.

Sighing I feel Rob place a hand across my stomach as I see him smile because he had taken the noise I had just been making as some kind of compliment when it was far from it.

Once again Joe enters my mind as I think if he was truly up the challenge of us just hooking up because it appeared whoever I picked were duds which made me feel a little bitchy but it was true.

Maybe if we actually did go on a second date then the sex would be better between me and Rob because a few minutes ago we were both just hungry to rip off one an others clothes and get to business.

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

“You are so good at that.” Rob smiles at me still basking in the glow from the sex we just had if you could even call it that.

I look away as Rob disposes of the condom picking up my underwear from the floor beginning to put my bra back on trying to piece together what had just happened.

“Let’s meet up again real soon.” Rob states making me look round and nod at him.

“I would really like that.” I tell him kidding myself by thinking that the bet between me and Joe was over because this was only just the beginning because hello I was back at square one unless I was being overly critical again..

“Well I would let you stay but-“

“I only live a few minutes away.” I cut in with a lie wanting to get out of here so I could think because this was at least the third time some guy had cheated me from something.

“I can walk you home?” Rob questions which makes me smile he was kind of sweet just needed some help in the bedroom unless a horrible thought occurs as I think that it could be me with the problem.

“No I am fine.” I state pulling my dress back over my head signaling that I wanted to leave.

“I will call you.” Rob assures me whilst I step into my heels again picking up my clutch bag from the floor in the tiny hallway.

Rob’s apartment reminded me of a studio all open plan besides the bedroom and the bathroom it was quite small I think as I wonder if next time I will stay for breakfast instead of just leaving.

“Thanks for a fun night.” I smile at Rob as we stand awkwardly together by his front door him leaning down he kisses me on the ear missing my cheek as I move my head to the side.

“Speak soon.” I grin as I open his door and Rob holds onto it as he watches me leave and I walk down the two flight of stairs as fast as I possibly could.

First of all I knew Jeremy was wrong saying that Rob did not like brunettes because he had been all over me so that meant the feeling was mutual and I of course rocked.

But it was a shame the anticipation of sex did not meet the expectations of what had really happened which makes me wonder if hooking up with Joe would be any different?

Sure I have been thinking about it a lot for the past few days sex in general and of course Joe who kept popping into my mind that grin on his face and the way he carried himself was very sexy.

Finally outside I take two huge gulps of air like I had forgotten how to breathe and I was close to having a panic attack but soon that feeling passes so I decide to walk along to the end of the street.

I almost call Gina to come and meet me as I was walking back in the direction of Slater’s bar which was about a twenty minute walk towards town that I had not anticipated in.

A smile appears on my face because the date had certainly gone a lot better than previous attempts which made me feel happy and want to yell out to someone because I could totally do this.

There was only one person I wanted to talk to right now so I could prove my point even though I couldn't lie in front of him because I knew Joe would call me out on it right away.

Despite all this I find myself stopping near a crossing to take my phone out then proceed to call Joe but after counting nine rings his voice mail kicks in which makes me curse.

Taking the initiative I decide to call Pete instead because they were surely hanging out together just like in college.

“Riley!” I hear Pete shout down the phone at me like he was saying it for somebody else’s benefit.

Muffled music followed by loud voices in the background make me falter and wonder if this really had been a good idea.

“Is Joe there?” I question hearing someone shout followed by laughing so I immediately hang up the phone wishing that I hadn’t just done that.

Walking over the crossing as a car gives way I rush to the other side clutching onto my phone tightly wondering where Pete was because why had he sounded so excited to hear me it was awfully suspicious.

Pete was always the biggest tease in college and I could imagine that smirk on his face now where he looked like he was trying not to burst into laughter all the while creating chaos in his wake.  


That call should have been the cherry on top of my night me telling Joe if he had answered that my date didn't suck and I had won the bet because I would not be having sex with him any time soon.

In a last ditch attempt at showing off I message Joe asking him to come find me like he had said as a smile plays across my lips when I tell him I am on Green street because I wasn’t going to find him myself.

This was ridiculous even though I was basking in a glow that Rob hadn’t exactly given me I wonder if Joe had even got the message or still wanted to play the game despite the fact I needed to prove my point.

Sitting on a low wall I find myself staring at my phone wondering why the hell had I stopped here it wasn’t like Joe or Pete were going to appear any time soon.

Noticing the time was after one in the morning I suddenly hear yelling which makes me look up from my phone and I am surprised to see Pete waving at me as he sits at the wheel of a blue Volvo in the middle of the street.

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

“Riley!” Pete shouts as if I hadn't seen him waving a hand at me so I brush my dress down as I stand up from the wall walking towards the car.

I stop in front of Pete as he smiles at me that look of mischief ever present on his face and he watches me as I place my phone back into my bag.

“He’s been waiting for you.” Pete whispers at me flicking his head back just as I hear a car door open and I look up to see Joe has got out from the car.

Silently I walk round stopping in front of Joe who isn’t very steady on his feet as he leans up against the car giving me a drunken smile whilst enveloping me into a hug making me smell his scent a heady mix of beer and cigarettes.

“Somebody’s been having fun.” I tell Joe who lets me go as he resumes leaning back onto the open car door.

“I am surprised to see you.” Joe states which makes me laugh.

“No you’re not.” I tell him stepping inside the car listening to Joe’s deep chuckle.

“So what brings you round here?” Pete questions as Joe slams the door closed next to him.

“My date.” I grin as Pete laughs at my reply.

“Well lucky for you we were not very far just at a friend’s BBQ so let’s drive back there.” Pete informs me then adds “Then I want to hear all about your date.”

“It obviously went badly.” Joe snorts “Otherwise you wouldn't be here.”

“I can never stay away.” I tell him not for the first time making Pete tut at us both.

Noticing a look passing between Joe and Pete makes me wonder just how much they tell one another and if I had been subject to one of those conversations.

“I will be your designated driver this evening so buckle up and shut up!” Pete cheers switching on the ignition just as Joe drapes an arm across the back seat of the car.

Failing not to notice the smug grin on his face as he sinks down into the seat next to me I find myself smiling until I catch Pete looking at me from the rear view mirror.

“So what exactly is happening here?” Pete questions breaking the silence in the car.

“Well I-“

“Like weren't you two on a date the other day?” Pete cuts me off continuing with his line of questioning.

“We can still see other people.” Joe winks at me leaning closer so his shoulder brushes against mine.

“Oh like that chick with purple hair?” Pete asks making me point a finger at Joe.

“Been keeping busy have we?” I question making Joe grin at me whilst I try to ignore the jealous feeling in my stomach.

“I can’t wait around for you forever.” Joe sighs making me nudge him with my elbow in his side.

“Get over it Joe.” Pete shakes his head then adds “Rob won dude you lost.”

Joe looks a little shamefaced as I smile at him because obviously the two of them speak about everything that was the only way Pete would have known about my date in detail and I was sure he was referring to the bet as well.

“So how did it go?” Joe questions just as Pete pulls into the empty drive way of a house that was covered in white lights like the occupants were already decorating for the holiday season.

Killing the ignition I wait until Pete leaves the car so I can talk to Joe but instead he just turns around in his seat with a wide grin on his face suggesting that he wasn’t going anywhere.

“It was good.” I begin as Pete makes a nodding motion with his head which distracts me from my train of thought.

“Do we need to hear this?” Joe questions trying and failing to not sound jealous it appeared or at least it did to my ears.

So I go on briefly to explain my date telling them both about his idiot friend Jeremy and that group of people I had met before Rob had appeared both Joe and Pete listening intently whilst I spoke.

“Jeremy sounds like a total tool.” Pete states and I nod in agreement.

“So does Rob.” Joe snorts shaking his head at me.

“He was far from it actually.” I wink at Pete.

“How did Rob manage it then?” Pete questions giving Joe a look “This guy here has been trying for so long.”  


“To do what?” I ask confused by where Pete was going.

“Shut up Pete.” Joe mutters darkly.

“Anyway.” I begin before an argument breaks out between the two friends “He used a few chat lines to hook me.” 

“Chat up lines.” Pete states thoughtfully then looking at Joe “Give it your best shot.”

“I’ve got to hear this.” I tell Joe who grins back at me.

“Ok.” Joe sits up moving his arm away from the back of the seat “I only reserve these for the best guaranteed hook ups.”

“Like you have any.” Pete snorts.

“More than you dude.” Joe closes his eyes as if basking in some imaginary glory he adds “More than you.”

“But still not Riley.” Pete dead pans making me roll my eyes just as Joe slaps his friend round the face.

“Very funny Pete.” I tell him with a small grin because he had obviously touched a nerve with Joe.

“If you were a phaser.” Joe begins smiling at me sexily he adds “You would be set to stun.”

“I have that beat.” Pete slams his right hand onto the steering wheel.

“Let’s hear it then.” I smile feeling safe that Pete was still here because I had some idea what would be taking place if it was just me and Joe together.

“I’m no weatherman.” Pete says with a cheeky smile “But you can expect more than a few inches tonight.”

“Well done.” Joe claps his hands at Pete then adds “No wonder you are not getting any.”

“Impressing Riley you are not.” Pete retorts in a very poor attempt at doing a Yoda voice.

“Dude shut the fuck up.” Joe sighs almost as if he was done with this conversation.

“Use one on Riley then.” Pete points at me and adds “Then tell me what you think.” 

“What’s a nice girl like you.” Joe pauses as he leans towards me his eyes focusing on mine then continues “Doing in a dirty mind like mine?”

“No chance.” I giggle placing my hand on his chest to push him away feeling my face beginning to go red.

“I think it actually worked.” Pete points at me whilst I try to bat his finger away “Look how Riley is blushing she wants you dude.”

Before I can reply there is suddenly a knock on the front passenger window where a guy is smiling widely and it appears both Joe and Pete know who he is.

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

“That’s Brendon.” Pete smiles at me then adds “And my cue to leave you guys alone.”

“No fucking in my car unless I can join in!” Shouts Brendon banging hard on the passenger window and I watch as Pete exits the front seat slamming the car door trying to grab his friend as he falls to the floor.

“Is that Riley?” I hear Brendon shout just as Joe places a hand over his eyes and I watch for a few moments whilst Pete wrestles with his friend then manages to drag him away out of sight.

Feeling very aware that I was finally alone with Joe I stifle a yawn when I realize how tired I am suddenly and Joe moves his hands to look at me.

I count down the seconds until Joe will begin to tease me even though I wanted to know how their friend Brandon knew who I was but I guess the two did talk about me when I wasn’t with them.

“It’s good to see you again.” Joe begins with a sideways smirk on his face.

“We saw each other this morning.” I remind him falling right into his trap making him laugh at me.

“How could I forget?” Joe bites his lips adding “I saw a lot of you in bed.”

“You perv.” I joke nudging his leg.

“So did you have fun tonight?” Joe questions changing the mood in the car from flirty to serious.

“Yes and no.” I tell him honestly wondering where it was going to lead me.

Joe sits in silence and nods at me as if to continue so I end up telling him that I did have a good time chatting with Rob and we did indeed hook up.

“Despite all of that you are still sitting here next to me.” Joe smirks at me proving a point because indeed I was right here in the moment unsure what the next move was supposed to be.

“Yeah but you've lost the bet.” I tell him “I hooked up with Rob so there.”

“Yeah.” Joe looks right at me his deep blue eyes piercing into me he asks “But did you enjoy it?”

Yet another question in a long line of questions hits me as I have no idea how to answer that because I couldn't exactly tell Joe that I had faked it making him feel sorry for me wasn’t the plan.

“So what would you have done then?” I ask Joe directing the attention from me back to him.

“I would much rather show you.” Joe leans his arm back on the seat again giving me a sexy smile.

“So you are not all talk then.” I ask Joe who shakes his head whilst grinning.

“Well I wouldn't let you escape from my sight once I had gotten you in my bed unlike Rob.” Joe tells me which sounds awfully intimate but I let the feeling slide.

“I bet I would show you a much better time than what you had tonight.” Joe states making me laugh because I felt super awkward right now like something was about to happen and I did not feel ready.

“Please no more bets!” I joke licking my bottom lip thoughtfully.

“But you do need my help right?” Joe questions making my face break out into a smile.

“I think you are my only hope.” I smirk making a poor Star Wars reference like Pete but it pleases Joe because he chuckles at me.

“Say it again.” Joe orders me.

“You are my only hope.” I state saying each word slowly noticing Joe watching my lips move.

“Glad you finally admit it.” Joe smirks at me looking back up into my eyes.

“So what would happen if we did hook up?” I question making Joe burst out laughing.

“You need me to spell it out for you.” Joe begins then adds “With my tongue.”

Jeez did it suddenly just get really hot in here?

“I mean from a perspective of us being friends.” I try to ignore his last comment ignoring the warm feeling low in my stomach.

“Well we would be friends who have sex.” Joe shrugs at me stating “I’m all for it.”

“I'd never have guessed.” I laugh as Joe tries to look hurt but ends up laughing instead.

“I am still intrigued about your sex list.” Joe nods at me with a sexy grin.

“So I guess the dare is still there then.” I state enjoying the feeling of Joe playing with some loose strands of my hair whilst touching my skin every so gently with the tips of his fingers.

“Whenever you are ready.” Joe moves his hand away which upsets me because I had been enjoying his touch.

“Let’s say sometime next week?” I joke but it was the wrong thing to do because Joe had taken me seriously.

“Ok then.” Joe nods then seeing the awkward look on my face a dark expression begins to cloud his and he looks all kinds of annoyed once again.

“It was a joke-“

“I know what it was.” Joe snaps at me the mood in the car changing yet again.

Knocking on the passenger window makes me look up from under the loose hair around my face to see Pete grinning at us both.

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Joe silently opens the car door ajar so Pete can lean down poking his head into the car wiggling his eyebrows at us both catching the look on Joe’s face.

“I take it I am not missing anything.” Pete jokes making himself laugh.

“We were talking-“

“Are you guys coming to join the party?” Questions Pete whilst cutting me off in the process which I still found really annoying.

“I need to get home.” I tell Pete at the same time Joe gets out from the car instantly lighting a cigarette and I watch as he inhales deeply.

“Well I can drive you home.” Pete states nudging Joe so he looks back over at me.

“Don’t forget what you just agreed to.” Joe smiles at me then adds “I’m your only hope.”

Waving his hand like he was some kind of Jedi master Joe winks then turns round to walk off leaving me with a wide grin on my face as I watch him disappear out of view.

“I guess I have missed something.” Pete laughs as I sit back in my seat feeling hot all over like my skin was burning I tell myself it was just because I never got my own happy ending tonight.

Pete is sweet enough to drive me home after I give him the details to the apartment but then silence fills the car which worries me because he was never usually this quiet.

Stopping across the street from the apartment fifteen minutes later Pete parks the car then turns round to face me whilst I grab my bag beside me ready to exit the Volvo.

“So you and Joe are seeing a lot of one another.” Pete states with a nod.

“We are friends after all.” I joke whilst waiting for a comeback from Pete.

“Friends without benefits.” Pete smiles then begins to chuckle when he sees my shocked face.

“Whatever Joe has told you-“

“Look.” Pete cuts me off with a wave of his hand “All I am saying is that Joe has been waiting for you for a while now isn’t it time you gave him a try?” 

“Didn't you give me that same speech at college?” I question sarcastically.

“Yet here we are.” Pete dead pans “Back at the beginning all over again.”

“Joe’s just a friend.” I tell Pete yet again beginning to feel a little annoyed that I had to keep repeating myself.

“The looks you two give each other makes me want to lock you both in a room somewhere.” Pete laughs placing his hand under his chin as if pondering the idea.

“What good would that do?” I question shaking my head as I get out from the car feeling the cool night breeze calm my warm and embarrassed face.

“From what I have heard.” Pete begins as I stand in front of him he states “Joe knows what he is doing in the bedroom.”

“Did he tell you say that?” I laugh trying not to think too hard about what Pete had just said.

“No his apartment has very thin walls.” Pete grins at me “Plus the girls who leave the next day always have a huge smile on their faces if you catch my meaning.”

“Bye Pete.” I smile thanking him for the ride home.

Lying in bed I cannot sleep even though it had been a really long day and this is where it had all started waking up with Joe by my side making me think as many impure thoughts as possible.

Hearing Pete’s voice of reason in my head I decide that all his friends are out to get me because now I couldn't imagine anything else other than how much of an expert Joe was in the bedroom.

Sure tonight hadn't gone exactly to plan and the jury was out on my bright idea wishing that I hadn't called either Joe or Pete but they had been there for me.

It had been fun in the car talking to Joe until I had ruined that like everything else maybe I needed to just give up and stay single instead?

Falling asleep courtesy of a well-worn dream that was becoming a favourite of mine I unashamedly dreamed of Joe because it was a lot safer than making a move on him because I had no idea how to play my turn.


	18. Afterglow

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Friday arrives like planned beginning with me going for an early morning jog after suddenly waking up at around five am covered in sweat making me need a cold shower instead of more sleep.

With my mind full of Joe I had really wanted to talk to Gina but knocking on her bedroom door I hadn’t got an answer then heading inside confirmed that she hadn’t come home.

It was too early to call Casey after five am because I had done that once and I could not repeat what I had heard Justin shout at me when Casey had answered the phone.

The guy really wasn’t a morning person that was the only time I have ever known him to be anti-social because normally Justin was the life of the conversation.

Both Joe and Pete’s words echoed around in my head whilst I gained speed racing around the local park I loved to frequent enjoying the early morning sunshine as it began to rise in the sky.

All of my friends including my aunt Lilly had a say on the matter between me and Joe even though he had told me what he wanted to do on the matter leaving me with a tension headache and a frustrated body.

Even though I had not drunk much whilst on my date with Rob and his shit heap of a friend Jeremy I was now more interested in what had been said in the car whilst Pete had left me and Joe alone.

How could Joe be so confident in himself when he made me feel like I had a school girl crush on him feeling like if I had a binder and a pen right now I would totally be doodling my name and his surname on it.

This was so stupid I had a date last night which went ok and afterwards I’d managed to hook up with a guy who wasn’t Will or George so there was that too.

But still I had desperately wanted to speak to Joe pretending to not feel anything all because of that stupid bet he had spoken about in Gina’s kitchen.

Gina and Casey kept telling me how much Joe had this huge boner for me and I think it had become damaging to my health because deep down I actually believed that he did care for me…at least a little bit.

Joe suggesting that we actually did hook up because sex to him was just fun did sound very appealing if my dreams had anything to go by but was it the right thing to do?

Was I ready to separate my growing friendship with Joe replacing it with lust and sex because if what Pete had said to me about his friend was true then I was in for an incredible ride if I chose to accept it of course.

But in reality that wasn’t going to happen or so I kept telling myself because it was a lot easier than wondering whether Joe was going to make a move on me or if I had missed my cue and needed to get to the back of the line.

Hearing my phone beep I pick it up from beside me on the couch seeing that it was from Rob telling me he had a great time last night and he hopes it wasn’t too soon to ask me out again.

I smile at this until I remember the sex with Rob last night that hadn’t exactly hit any of my buttons causing me to leave his apartment feeling a little lost and quite unsatisfied.

Not ready to message Rob back just yet because my mind was filled with conflicting thoughts ranging from feeling a little bitter about faking my orgasm to wondering what Joe would be like in bed.

This morning not evening the shower head could help me find my own release instead I was left longing for some skin on skin contact with someone of the opposite sex who knew what they were doing.

Sure Rob was good looking but when we were getting it on he didn’t listen to me vocally or pay attention to my body at all which was annoying because it had ruined my mood completely.

In bed I liked to be told what to do which was something Will had lacked also Rob and George who had wanted me to call all the shots even then leaving me feeling underwhelmed.

What I really wanted was a guy who was in control who ordered me to move it there whilst I felt confident enough to be way more vocal than normal laying down a few rules of my own.

This was a big fantasy of mine but there was always a voice at the back of my mind stopping me from having fun and being a little more wild in bed until I shut her up I would be this mess that was beginning to even piss me off.

I really needed to stop over thinking shit it wasn’t good because it bought on headaches as for my next move that was something I needed to decide and stick with would it be one night of no strings sex with Joe or Rob who was after a second date?

Closing my eyes to stop the room from moving because I felt my current headache turning into a migraine I decided to lay on the couch because it was a few hours before I needed to pick up Zoe for the afternoon.

Hitting one of the cushions hard with my right hand I lay my head down whilst stretching my legs out getting comfortable telling myself yet again to relax which was having the opposite effect on me.

Right now all I needed was to calm down and stop thinking about Joe because the guy was stuck in my mind for all of the wrong reasons he was just a sort of old friend and that was that.

Having woken up late from my nap but thankfully headache free I quickly get changed into some grey skinny jeans and a burgundy coloured loose fitting tee shirt placing my messy hair into a side plait.

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Walking to Greendale Kindergarten a large L shaped building which stood right next to the elementary school where Harley went I walk through the gates heading towards the right block.

I hoped that I wouldn't see Nancy Reed’s mum again because she had appeared to be a piece of work just like her daughter who was a clone of her mother it appeared.

Waving at Zoe as she come bouncing out from the class room she hands me a painting that she did of sunflowers which reminds me of what Demi had said about me teaching the kids how to draw classic paintings.

Like Zoe or Harley would care about Van Gough or even Monet for that matter they were both still learning what they liked which was something I guess you never grew out from.

“This is good.” I tell Zoe who shrugs at me explaining “I hate sunflowers they are so boring to draw I would rather like to draw cats instead.”

Nodding in agreement I wonder what it is we can do this afternoon because it had been a whole week in my new job and I think it was time to celebrate.

“Do you like baking?” I question with a smile as I see Zoe look up at me with a wide grin on her little face.

“I love cakes.” Zoe nods at me then adds “Can I draw a cake this afternoon?”

“What about if we make cakes this afternoon?” I ask Zoe who drops her painting on the floor in excitement.

“Yes!” Zoe cheers whilst bending down to grab her panting almost ripping it in the process.

“We can make cupcakes with different coloured frosting.” I state because even though I did suck at cooking I liked to bake sometimes my curves were proof of that.

“Can we make them cat shaped?” Zoe questions taking my hand as we cross the street together taking a detour to my favourite place Food Links grabbing a few vital supplies for this afternoon’s mission.

How could we have made so much of a mess in the kitchen I think as I watch Zoe place bright pink icing onto one of the cupcakes with a large spoon her tongue poking out in concentration.

I needed to begin cleaning up the sides before Demi came home and saw what I had done to her kitchen I decide then turn round to see Zoe licking the spoon wiping pink icing onto her face.

“You are supposed to decorate the cupcakes.” I tell her with a grin handing Zoe a towel adding “Not your face.”

“I want to be a cupcake!” Zoe cheers running away from my outstretched hand and the towel giggling as she runs around the kitchen island.

“You’re a silly cupcake.” I tell Zoe which to her is the funniest thing ever as she falls to the floor laughing like a hyena.

Dropping the towel back onto the side I begin to tidy the counter placing trays and other kitchen utensils into the sink then I freeze when I hear the front door open and slam shut.

A few seconds later I am still standing at the sink like I am stuck there when I see Demi enter the kitchen assessing the room then noticing her daughter on the floor giggling like she had inhaled six helium balloons.

Oblivious to her mum being home Zoe resumes rolling around on the floor happily laughing and flailing her arms around making Demi fold her arms looking mighty cross.

“What is happening here?” Demi questions waving a hand around as I see Zoe sit up quickly turning round running over to her mum for a hug.

“We have been making cupcakes.” Zoe tells Demi who nods but still doesn’t look too pleased.

“You’ve made a hell of a mess.” Demi states then asks “Is there a lot of sugar in those cupcakes?”

“Just the normal amount-“

“Zoe shouldn't have too much sugar.” Demi tells me “It will stunt her growth and rot her mind”

“But I am a cupcake!” Zoe explains to her mum making me try and hide a smile as she gives Demi a sidelong look and even she cannot be icy towards her daughter.

“Just clean this up now please.” Demi retorts at me aiming all her iciness towards me instead as she lifts Zoe up into a hug walking across the room to grab the towel to wipe her face and cheeks.

It had been fun baking with Zoe but I really did hate the aftermath washing up all the items we used and trying to fit the pink, green and blue iced cupcakes into the fridge without ruining them was a challenge in itself.

Once Demi checks the kitchen over to make sure it is up to her standards I am then released to go and meet Harley from school and after that my weekend was about to start.

Walking home I tell Harley about the cupcakes and he tells me he wants to bake with me sometime soon and I promise him the three of us can during the school summer holidays.

For a home that looked perfect on the outside Demi sure liked to keep a tight ship the space where they lived looking very clinical in the sense that the kids rarely got messy and neither of their parents were ever home together.

I had yet to meet Mr King and the way Demi spoke of her husband sometimes it was any wonder they were still together but this was me looking in from the outside.

“This week has been a good first start.” Demi states as we sit together outside in the garden the sun low in the sky wanting to stay around for a few hours longer until night took over.

I had wanted to leave the Kings as soon as Harley had run up the stairs to his bedroom not even saying hello to Demi who shakes her head at me but this time she was smiling.

“I’ve enjoyed every minute of it.” I tell Demi referring to looking after the kids not what had taken place on my own time because I didn’t want to think about that right now.

“You ok?” Demi asks me with a smile adding “You’ve got a funny look on your face right now.”

“It’s just been a long week.” I speak before I think then backtrack when I see Demi’s face “But that has been out of work here I have had lots of fun with Harley and Zoe.”

“That’s life.” Demi states “Take the highs with the lows.”

“I am just going to try and make it through the weekend.” I joke making Demi grin at me.

Just as Demi is about to speak again I hear my phone ring from the pocket in the back of my jeans and apologising profusely I stand up from the table in the garden to answer it.

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

“Have you any plans this evening?” I hear Lilly question down the phone not even greeting me before she got down to what she was calling about.

“Hi Lilly.” I smile then add” No I have no plans you should be aware of that by now.”

“I don’t know what sordid secrets you keep from me.” Laughs Lilly making me shake my head.

“Don’t you?” I question with a large hint of sarcasm “Could have fooled me.”

“If you are going to be moody.” Lilly ignores my last comment “Then you are un-invited to dinner with me and Ralph tonight.”

“Ok I’ll come along.” I state as Lilly tells me to be there for seven sharp.

Leaving the Kings house soon after I look forward to seeing my aunt again because she was my life I loved her dearly she had always been a lot easier to talk to than my mum.

Arriving at Lilly’s a few minutes late because I hadn’t a clue what I wanted to wear I knock on the door trying not to drop the pack of beers in my hand at the same time.

Brushing some brown hair away from my face I plaster on a smile when I see a figure approaching the door but when they open it to reveal themselves I feel my stomach plummet to my feet.

Standing in front of me was the hottest guy I had ever seen like if this was some kind of cartoon my tongue would be hanging out a mile long right now and there would be love hearts in my eyes.

Unsure if the guy knew exactly how attractive he was I felt myself staring from the top knot his dirty blonde hair was in to the tips of his battered looking green converse which had dark green laces in them.

“You’re Riley?” The guy questions with a grin looking from my face to the eight pack of beer in my hands.

I nod wondering who the hell this guy was and how had he suddenly appeared in my life when I see Lilly smiling as she peeks her head over the guys shoulder and I know now that this was a set up.

“Come in!” Lilly grabs hold of my arm just as I am about to drop the beers but the guy catches them from me then walks off with them and I check out his ass not so subtly as my aunt nudges me on the arm.

“Who the hell is that?” I snap a little louder than anticipated but not caring at that very moment in time because I needed to know what was going on here.

“Sssh!” Lilly give me a look then clears her throat explaining “That is Cody he is Ralph’s oldest son he is the same age as you and is back in town for a few weeks.”

“So you’re setting me up with your boyfriend’s son?” I question feeling really unsure about this and my choice of outfit for the evening.

I had assumed it would just be me, Lilly and Ralph so I’d worn my denim shift dress with brown wedge heels that gave me both height and comfort they were one of my favourite pairs of shoes.

Sure I wasn’t that steady in heels but to be honest neither am I in flats really or even bare foot for that matter because I had a habit of falling over invisible things be it drunk or sober it was one of my many party tricks.

“He is a nice guy.” Lilly states breaking into my thoughts “Cody works at a tattoo parlour he is in town trying to give his ex some space-“

“So what is happening here?” I question trying my hardest not to glare at my aunt who had bought me round here totally on false pretences.

“I just thought you and Cody might hit it off seeing you like guys with tattoos-“

“Don’t start.” I groan closing my eyes then opening them “Can we go just one time without mentioning Joe?”

“I wasn’t talking about him.” Lilly grins at me.

“Oh sure.” I snort making Lilly nudge me hard on the shoulder.

“Cody is a little lonely without his ex and seeing that you've gone through a shitty break up yourself you guys have something in common.” Lilly states meaning well like she always did but this was the last thing I needed right now.

“So this isn’t like a set up then?” I question catching the grin that covers my aunt’s face.

“The night is still young.” Lilly winks at me then adds “Maybe Cody could help you with your little problem?”

“I haven’t got a-“

“I’m now talking about you and Joe.” Lilly cuts in with a loud laugh turning round walking to the kitchen whilst I follow behind already regretting tonight.

I had walked directly into this I should have known Lilly was up to something because it appeared everybody I knew had an ulterior motive set in place whenever I was around them.

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

“Hi Riley.” Ralph greets me thankfully wearing a crisp white short sleeve shirt looking back at his son like he was surprised to be in my aunt’s kitchen.

“So this is Cody.” Lilly begins with a wide smile “Ralph’s son who is hanging around town for a little while.”

“Hey.” I smile awkwardly feeling Cody looking at me his light hazel eyes burning into mine as I stand rooted to the spot.

“And this is Riley.” Ralph winks at me whilst lifting his wine glass to his lips.

“I’ve heard a lot about you.” Cody states in a flirty tone followed by a smirk which makes me blush.

“Get the girl a drink!” Ralph slaps Cody hard on the back as he moves away from us to go and see Lilly who was setting the table in the next room.

“What’s your poison?” Cody questions with a sexy glint in his eye that I may have just imagined but it made me want to stick around and not run away.

“I will have a glass of wine please.” I smile as I watch Cody pour me some wine and I find myself checking him out and enjoying the view but something was filling me with doubt.

This guy felt way out of my league because I adhered to the rules that I was maybe a five barely a six on the dating scale and Cody was instantly a nine possibly a ten but that may have just been my awe talking.

“So how long are you in Greendale for?” I question breaking the silence between us because I didn’t want to be analysing Cody I needed to be talking to him instead.

“Long enough.” Cody shrugs at me as he hands me my glass of wine and I happily accept it thinking that this wasn’t a great start.

“This is a bit strange.” I carry on speaking then regret it as I see Cody give me a funny look but he soon rearranges his face as if he was a tiny bit interested in what I was about to say.

“People having dinner together is strange?” Questions Cody in a sarcastic tone and I notice the confident look on his face as he spoke.

“No.” I dead pan then state “Us being set up like this.”

“I’m used to it now.” Cody shrugs again giving me a cute sidelong look that makes my stomach flutter and does something funny to my knees.

The is bad I was turning into some man crazed lunatic or at least that was how I felt when we all sat around the square table to eat with Cody being a gentleman and actually pulling my seat out for me.

Cody smelled like fresh lime and something pure but he looked far from innocent whenever he glanced over that wide grin on his face and those eyes which followed mine everywhere.

Sure he sounded like he had some kind of chip on his shoulder but I could let that pass because I hardly knew the guy and he wasn’t as bad as others I had recently met.

Wearing a black and light grey baseball shirt with tight black jeans I just felt myself staring at him not sure what to say next as he smiled and listened to whatever his dad Ralph was talking about.

Lilly had cooked spicy chicken wraps which had home-made pepper and tomato sauce in them that kept running down my fingers making me lick them and Cody gave me a glazed look as he watched.

It was almost as if only me and Cody were sitting at the table as I couldn't hear whatever my aunt was saying because I was staring too hard at the guy opposite me like he was some kind of mirage seeing I had suddenly become guy crazy.

“Riley you’re drooling.” I do hear Lilly state making me look round and self-consciously wipe a hand over my mouth just in case I actually was making an idiot out of myself.

“You have a little sauce on your face.” Cody informs me making me grab a napkin and wipe hastily at my face this had to be some kind of joke.

“Thanks.” I reward Cody with a small smile as I replace the napkin on the table noticing Lilly watching us like we were some kind of nature show.

“It suited you.” Cody winks at me.

“See this is going well.” Ralph states to the table making Lilly shake her head and Cody roll his eyes at me.

“The food is lovely as always.” I smile at Lilly who nods her thanks.

“I like a woman who can cook.” Cody smiles at my aunt who then points at me.

“This one here would burn water.” Jokes Lilly but not without adding “But she does like to make cakes and sweet things.”

“Riley does look pretty sweet to me.” Cody states making my mouth hang open whilst Lilly and Ralph set about clearing the table.

Things get worse once dessert is long gone which had been my favourite vanilla cheesecake with caramel sauce which did not sweeten the deal at all because somehow I was outside with Cody all alone in the garden.

It was now after ten at night and all the wine had been finished so I was holding a beer whilst sitting on the bench in Lilly’s back yard with Cody standing in front of me.

My aunt and Ralph had gone to the den next to the large living room and I could hear low music which sounded like Al Green escaping out of the opened kitchen window.

Cody stood silently in front of me and I tried my very hardest not to compare him to Joe but my brain just wasn’t complying whilst I tallied up the differences in my head then scolded myself for being so pathetic.

It was wrong to think like that because I could feel the lines I set between me and Joe blurring slightly as he had become the kind of guy I wanted but we were friends so I put these thoughts to the back of my mind.

We had been chatting about life in general until Cody suddenly stopped and I hadn’t known what to say next so I ended up staring at him instead wondering exactly what his deal was.

“It isn’t that great being back here.” He informs me suddenly making me look up from staring at Cody’s back to his face.

“Greendale holds a lot of mixed memories for me too.” I agree not wanting to go into detail but giving Cody enough information to know that I knew exactly how he felt right now.

“I just miss her.” Cody shrugs at me making me wonder where the flirty guy from inside had gone to being replaced by someone who looked mighty upset as he stroked his thick beard.

“I’m trying to move on.” I begin “We will both find someone new.”

That was the completely wrong thing to say because Cody scoffs at me then sits down next to me on the oak bench with a heavy sigh.

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

“Unlike you.” Cody states breaking the silence “I don’t want to meet somebody new I want my old life and my girlfriend back.”

I watch as he drinks the rest of his beer only to open another one up right away lining the empty can next to the others on the small metal garden table next to him.

“Well why are you in Greendale then?” I question “I take it your girlfriend isn’t here.”

“No.” Cody retorts “She is with her new boyfriend Dan and I am here talking to you.”

“Look I’ve been through a shitty break up-“

“No offence.” Cody cuts me off clearly offending me “But I don’t want to talk about it.”

“What do you want to talk about?” I question wondering if Cody even wanted to be here with me in the first place because he was being a real ass right now.

Hearing my phone beep I pull it out of my pocket smiling in anticipation as to who could be sending me a message but when I notice it is Rob I feel the excitement disappear a little.

“That bad eh.” Cody jokes as I notice a smile on his lips.

Leaning back on the bench he lifts one leg holding onto his ankle all the while giving me a look as if it was my cue to talk.

“It’s nothing.” I tell Cody which makes his smile widen as he nods at me looking like he doesn’t believe me.

“Is it your ex?” Cody questions which annoys me.

“Why can you ask questions and not me?” I snap sure the booze was talking but he had just hit a sudden nerve.

“I overheard your aunt talking to my old man.” Cody informs me whilst I place a hand over my eyes waiting for what the guy next to me was about to say next.

Silence ensues instead as if Cody is coaxing me out of my shell but it won’t happen if he wants to keep his life private then two can play that game.

“Hey wait a minute.” I speak up when the thought occurs “What was Lilly saying about me?”

“Something about you having a crush on some guy-“

“I do not!” I snap feeling my face going red from both the assumption and how I had just reacted to Cody’s comment.

“Well you’re not pleading your case very well right now.” Cody laughs as I look up from my phone re reading the message that Rob had sent me.

“I have no case.” I tell Cody then add “If you won’t spill neither will I.”

“Like that is it?” Cody questions with a laugh. 

“Hand me a beer.” I state holding out my hand happily accepting another drink.

“So who is this guy named Joe I’ve heard so much about then?” Cody questions almost making me drop the beer from my hand as I try to open it.

“How do you-“

“Your aunt talks a lot about you.” Cody grins and seeing that he had the upper hand I take a long gulp of drink deciding what I was about to say next.

“He’s just an old friend.” I tell Cody who nods.

“So that is it?” Cody questions probing further.

“Yes.” I lie not wanting to get into the whole situation any further because I did not want Cody lecturing me like everyone else on how "bad" I was at being single..

“Well if my ex won’t take me back do you fancy it?” Cody asks and I can tell by the look on his face it is all one big joke to him.

“Look.” I begin placing my beer can next to me “Whatever you have heard my aunt say it isn’t true.”

“You can only lie to yourself.” Cody tells me making me scoff unattractively.

Watching him fold his arms I realise that Cody isn’t my type at all even though he was super-hot and what I needed even though right now what I actually needed was to swear off guy’s altogether because they were all causing me too much trouble.

“What about you then?” I ask “You go from sounding moody one minute to flirting with me like crazy the next.”

“It’s called looking for a rebound.” Cody shrugs at me “I don’t want to admit it but I am single and I do need to move on even though I still want Macy.”

“I’ve felt the same-“

“Look you’re not really my type.” Cody states making me shake my head at him in agreement sure the guy was good looking but he knew it and he was mighty cocky about it.

How could I go from looking at Cody him making the back of my knees tremble to getting to know the guy a little more and thinking he is nothing like Joe.

“I didn’t mean to insult you-“

“You haven’t.” I smile at Cody as he mistook my silence for being upset but I was far from it because I was still trying to figure out the revelation I just had.

“Well good.” Cody smirks at “You’re a funny girl and whoever you do have your eye on his a lucky guy.”

“I’m a mess.” I state then finally vent “I am trying to be single all over again as well whilst having two guys one who is shit at sex and the other who I badly want to have sex with on my mind twenty four seven.”

“Sounds like you need to call the guy who you badly want to fuck and have some fun” Cody informs me unhelpfully.

“So I keep being told.” I retort sarcastically making Cody laugh at me.

“Don’t you want to get over your ex?” Cody questions “Move on to this guy you are clearly interested in unless you are scared.”

“I am not scared!” I shout giving Cody an incredulous look.

“Well go for it then.” Cody tells me then adds “What is the worse that could happen?”

“My life isn’t like a dr pepper advert!” I laugh making Cody grin at me.

“You’re cute.” Cody tells me moving his leg so he could sit closer to me on the bench.

“Stop making me sound like an idiot teenager.” I roll my eyes because being told that I had some crush on a guy and looked cute had annoyed me more than it should have.

Cody leans forward and kisses me which is surprising but something I accept it until my phone starts to ring and I pull away.

“I have to go.” I state standing up from the bench quickly looking at my screen noticing that it was Rob calling me but I decide to decline the call.

“Wait!” Cody stands up and stops in front of me just as I was about to head inside and leave my aunt’s house.

“Sorry about that.” Cody gives me a small smile “I was caught up in the moment I really think you need to tell this guy how you feel.”

“If I ever do.” I begin with a smile “You need to get your shit together too.”

“Sure.” Cody nods “Take my number we should hang out.”

“Only if you don’t try to kiss me again.” I joke making Cody laugh at me.

“Hook me up with some of your girlfriends then.” Cody winks adding “I need some practice.”

“I don’t think you do.” I grin cheekily.

“How is this guy you like not wrapped around your finger?” Cody questions “If I was him I wouldn't let you out of my sight.”

“Get in line!” I laugh making Cody high five me.

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Shouting out goodbye to my aunt Lilly both me and Cody leave the house exchanging numbers whilst he grabs me into a friendly hug telling me definitely to get in contact with him.

Well that was a strange end to my Friday night but at least I had made a new friend who I was sure I had at least two friends who would be interested in him Gina and Jess had to get in line.

“Where the hell have you been?” Questions Gina as soon as I walk through the front door slamming it behind me a little too firmly.

“Lilly’s for dinner I met her boyfriend’s son who she tried to set me up with because he is broken just like me.” I state making Gina’s mouth open and close in a look of pure confusion.

“Was he hot?” Asks Gina with a smirk.

“Out of my league-“

“So he wasn’t like Joe.” Gina cuts in “But I guess nobody can compete with him.”

“I am done with this conversation.” I tell Gina who grabs my arm pulling me away from the direction of my bedroom.

“So what was the guy like?” Gina questions dropping my arm.

“As I said he was out of my league hot.” I shrug “Despite his hair being in a man bun and the fact he had some baggage in the form of his ex he was a nice guy.”

“First of all don’t put yourself down.” Gina points a finger at me “And secondly this guy sounds like my next target.”

“Target?” I question batting Gina’s hand away then add “I got the guys digits he wants to meet up with me so I can introduce him to you guys.”

“I’m all for that.” Gina winks at me making me roll my eyes.

“On that note I am off to bed.” I tell Gina.

“All alone again?” Questions Gina which makes me almost spill about my date last night and Joe who had snuck into my bed making me have these crazy hot dreams about him.

“I’m ignoring you.” I state walking to my room hearing Gina laughing loudly behind me making me grin despite what I had just said.

With the weekend playing out in front of me I imagined my two days free from work spent lying in bed maybe drawing a little and perhaps checking my online dating profiles.

I had been ignoring messages from my emails regarding my two profiles afraid to see who had contacted me if anyone even though right now I was finding it pretty easy to meet guys.

There was of course Rob and Cody from last night also I bet one of my friends had someone to line me up with next because I was beginning to sense a pattern but it was part of me being back in the dating game.

Not that I had dated anyone yet I was still trying to get used to hooking up which had given me mixed results leaving me still feeling a little hot at all the wrong times.

If only the kind of sex you read about in those steamy romance novels happened in real life y'know those books that people rarely admitted to reading but you always noticed them hiding on their shelves looking well read.

Right now the only way I could help my frustrated body was go for a jog which was still helping me both mentally and physically or at least I kept telling myself that.

Deciding to take a different route from the park I go left instead of right heading away from the centre of town back towards my aunts and the more suburban looking houses.

There were lots of blocks I could run up and down so I would discover a new path to jog along maybe finally take Joe up on his offer to go out with him one morning as well.

This thought sends my mind into overdrive as I imagine spending the night with Joe, both of us heading out early for a run together followed by breakfast in a café then sharing a shower back at either his or mine.

Stopping in my tracks I breathe heavily whilst getting tutted at by a woman who was pushing a large pram she could easily go around me but somehow I was still in her way.

“Don’t worry I’ll walk in the street!” I retort as the woman passes me and I end up stepping off the pavement to stop getting my feet ran over as she walks on oblivious to me.

Well that had been a nice little fantasy involving Joe very cosy but sexy all the same because once I had him in my shower I would not let him leave in a hurry.

But that was all just a daydream because if that managed to actually come true and I was faced with a naked Joe in my shower I would not know what to do and that would be embarrassing perhaps I should have taken Cody up on his offer?.

Wondering where the hell all these thoughts were coming from I knew full well that everybody knew better than me but it was about time that I finally proved them all wrong somehow getting the upper hand and shutting them all up. 

But until then I just wanted to enjoy this weekend preferably doing nothing because I was fed up all the surprises my friend were springing on me I could not deal with it any more.

I just wanted to veg out in front of the TV for two days take a step back from reality just to relax not worrying about guys or think about Joe which was easier said than done.

Back at home eventually after narrowly avoiding jumping dogs and a teenager who almost knocked me down riding past me really fast on his bike making me curse until my face turned red I let myself into the apartment.

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

There I see Kirk grinning at me his eyes travelling over my body which felt both worn out and sweaty not attractive in the slightest but I see Gina push him because he was openly staring at me.

“Nice outfit.” Kirk grins at me.

“Is that what you like?” Gina questions then adds “I have a few costumes I could wear for you next time we hook up.”

“I will need pictures beforehand.” Kirk states then clarifies “So I can use them when I am alone.”

“Gross.” I roll my eyes noticing Gina pout at me.

“Oh thanks!” Gina retorts give me a sad face.

“So do you have like a cheerleader outfit or anything?” Kirk questions at Gina who nods in the affirmative.

“I’ve chosen the wrong moment to enter this conversation.” I state as I walk past Gina who laughs at Kirk and I watch as they kiss then Kirk lets himself out of the apartment.

In the kitchen I busy myself by making some coffee because I was thirsty and I needed to stop being so embarrassed when my friends spoke about sex it happened I needed to get over it.

Well it happened to a lot of people besides me because my hook ups hadn’t helped me one bit and I was getting sick and tired of feeling this conflicted about everything.

“Kirk told me to tell you that you look hot today.” Gina tells me walking into the kitchen with a smile.

“That’s made my day!” I cheer sarcastically grabbing my green mug pouring some coffee from the jug.

“No need to be bitchy.” Gina groans at me “I am jealous of you in that sports bra.”

“So did Kirk stay the night?” I question ignoring my friends comment with a smile.

“Yes!” Gina laughed at me “He called me to say he was horny and then in turn so was I.”

“Thankfully I didn’t hear anything.” I joke because last night I had slept so well which was a nice change.

“We wasn’t that loud the first two times.” Gina states grinning mischievously all the while which reminds me of Pete because he would totally brag like that as well.

“Ok I get it.” I groan walking out from the kitchen towards the couch where I was going stay for the rest of the day.

“You could have that too just give your bartender friend a call.” Gina informs me.

“Stop it.” I warn her making Gina grin at me because she had gotten a rise.

Before she can respond I watch as Gina notices something on the coffee table then I feel my heart reach my throat as she picks up the white envelope giving me a look.

“Is this what I think it is?” Gina questions and I nod.

Opening the envelope Gina reads the invitation in her hand whilst I watch her face wondering if I will actually ever get someone to go with me.

“So it is official then?” Gina questions dropping the invitation back onto the coffee table.

“Yes and I’m going to go.” I state “I need to be the better person but I would like someone to come with me.”

“Well you have plenty of candidates.” Gina begins then adds with a giggle “Especially one who appears every single time you want him to.”

This instantly makes me think of the end of my date with Rob me and Joe sitting in that Volvo me wanting nothing more than him to make a move.

“That isn’t true.” I tell Gina who shakes her head at me.

“I wish I could treat a guy like that.” Gina informs me “Ready and waiting for me to call them so they can do anything I choose.”

“Sounds like every guy you've ever been with.” I joke causing Gina to throw a cushion at my head but miss completely.

“Kirk knows the score.” Gina tells me not for the first time “Anyway your friend Cody sounds like a dreamboat.”

“The guy knows it too.” I deadpan making Gina smirk.

“Colour me interested.” Gina nods “I need a backup for when Kirk gets boring.”

“You don’t want to make a go of it with Kirk then?” I question making Gina laugh which hadn’t been my intention.

“He is good for now but I never look too far into the future.” Gina tells me “You know how fussy I am with both men and shoes but only one of those really matter.”

“I’m guessing shoes.” I dead pan whilst Gina nods at me.

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

My friend begins to talk at great length about Kirk and the last few days they have spent together which sounded like a lot of sex was had and she even compared him to her favourite pair of shoes.

“I adore my green and black Louboutin shoes and I kind of like Kirk in the same way but it isn’t like I can wear them all the time because they clash with a lot of my wardrobe and-“

“Are you making similarities here between Kirk and a pair of shoes?” I question cutting in because I had no idea what Gina was going on about.

“I am summing up my relationship and I use the term very loosely with Kirk.” Gina tells me.

“So how do the shoes play a part in this?” I question.

“Sure the analogy sounded better in my head but it made sense to me” Gina begins then continues “I adore those shoes but if I only like to wear them with certain outfits and certain times.”

“Ok I think I understand.” I smirk because really I had no idea “You want to spend some time away from those shoes by trying on another pair for size.” 

“Exactly!” Laughs Gina “See you are not so clueless after all.”

“Oh gee thanks.” I grin rolling my eyes back at my friend.

“So enough about my dilemma.” Gina begins “Where are you with Rob or did your night sexting Joe the other day pay off?”

“I wasn’t sexting-“

“Lies.” Gina laughs at my face I pull “Come on spill!”

“Well.” I begin wriggling on the couch awkwardly unsure if I was ready to talk openly about my date with Rob.

“Did Joe send you a dick pic?” Questions Gina eyes widening to the size of saucers.

“No!” I give my friend a disgusted look then add “If you really must know I went on a date with Rob on Thursday.”

“And you are only telling me this now?” Gina asks loudly and looks shocked when I nod back.

“It was nothing-“

“No way!” Gina shouts “You should have told me or Casey what if Rob was some kind of sex maniac or something?”

“Chance would be a fine thing.” I retort sarcastically.

Then I begin to talk openly about my date with Rob which Gina scolds me for not telling her at least two more times making me lose my place in the re telling of not the worse date ever but it was up there.

“I think Casey and Justin need to hear about this too.” States Gina when there is a lull in the conversation.

“Why don’t I just do a round robin email to keep everybody up to date?” I question sarcastically because I was beginning to get annoyed with being the running joke amongst my friends.

“Ok calm down.” Gina holds a hand up in the air then reminds me that “Casey and Justin are your friends and they care we all do.”

“Well I am not talking about how I faked it.” I retort then regret it instantly.

“You had sex with Rob?” Gina questions like it was an absurd thought me being with another guy even though I was beginning to believe that.

“I did and it wasn’t great.” I find myself saying “Just to get it over and done with I faked my finale.”

“What an asshole.” Gina states.

“Maybe it is my fault.” I shrug my shoulders wishing that I had never bought this up.

Gina crosses the room to hug me as I sit rigid on the couch because I did not need anyone to feel sorry for me right now.

“You’re awesome.” Gina tells me “Rob is obviously the wrong guy for you.”

“I just find it hard sometimes to finish or have fun in general I am unsure.” I begin quickly then add “I got so used to it with Will when we rarely did have sex so I just had my own fun in between those months where things were dry.”

“What you need...” Begins Gina with a smile “Is someone who is good with their hands like they play an instrument because they do say creative types are good in the sack.”

“I do like Rob.” I find myself saying almost as if the more I did speak up about him I would begin to believe it myself.

“So what would you choose then?” Asks Gina “Another date with Rob which ends in a dud or finding somebody who would finally give you an after sex glow.”

“I’ve had plenty of sex glows thanks-“

“Someone is protesting too much.” Sing songs Gina “Maybe it is time to call in the guy who may just rock your world.”

“I couldn't possibly guess who you are talking about.” I snort knowing full well.

“Joe plays the guitar doesn’t he?” Gina questions then carries on regardless adding “Well he must have really fast fingers.”

“Stereotypes are not my thing.” I joke making Gina shake her head at me.

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Finally talk changes from me back to Casey and Justin who were on their way round after spending a night in a hotel across town once they had a romantic meal together last night.

Noticing my coffee had gone cold I decide to head out into the kitchen wondering when my day off would really begin because already it was filled with drama.

“Someone looks shagged out.” Gina laughs when I hear the front door shut and notice the glow on Casey’s face which reminds me of what my room-mate had just been talking about.

“That is what the glow looks like.” Gina informs me making Casey grin in the process and Justin look awkward as usual.

“Stop winding me up.” I tell Gina then add as an afterthought “It isn’t working.”

“Have any fun last night?” Casey asks me but before I can answer Gina speaks instead.

“Riley got set up with some guy named Cody but all that matters right now is that she went out with Rob on a date and never told us.” Gina states then I see the face Casey pulls.

“Was he that guy you went home with earlier in the week?” Questions Justin unhelpfully.

“No that was George.” Casey tells her boyfriend “Rob was the guy she met last weekend.”

“Oh the guy you was kissing outside your apartment.” Nods Justin whilst smiling at me.

“That was Joe!” Casey shakes her head at Justin.

“I thought we were rooting for Joe?” Asks Justin is face looking as confused as I felt right now.

“Yes.” Gina nods then adds “But Riley has decided to go off script with this guy Rob.”

“So what is wrong with this guy Rob then?” Justin asks as he sits next to Gina on the couch and Casey follows suit the pair of them close together.

“Nothing-“

“Shit in bed.” Cuts in Gina making me want to get my side of the story across.

So I begin to retell the story to my friends and Justin who wasn’t really paying attention staring at his phone screen instead as if he was willing me to stop talking which wasn’t going to happen.

I tell them about meeting Jeremy and where I knew him from to finding out about Amy which had Casey shaking her head and Gina telling me to get out whilst I still could.

“But what if it actually does work between us?” I question feeling like a loser clinging onto my only hope which wasn’t true because I apparently had Joe but that was a whole other matter which I didn't really believe in.

“So you want to see him again?” Gina asks and I nod.

“But you said that he was rubbish in bed.” Casey reminds me “You don’t need someone like that in your life bringing you back down again.”

“Well we could just be friends then.” I cut back even to my own ears hearing how stupid that sounded because it appeared I was gaining a few new guy friends.

“No way.” Gina tells me “Maybe meet him for one more hook up but if it sucks again it is time to move on.”

That was what I was afraid of not mentioning the bet between Joe and me or the fact that he had snuck into my bed because I would never hear the end of that story.

It appeared that everybody had become obsessed with their own version of me and Joe getting it on so my friends were naturally teasing me about it whilst Pete I reckoned was up to something.

This was the reason why Joe was on my mind so much because my friends were carrying me on a wave of hope seeing that was what he was to me still not believing I had said that out loud to him.

“So what is the deal with you and Joe then?” Asks Justin who adds “I’ve heard a lot about the dude he seems like a cool guy.”

I smile at that comment because Casey had probably told him to say that seeing that whatever she agreed to or said he was right with her one hundred and ten per cent.

“No big deal really-“

“All I have heard from Casey is Joe said this and Joe did that I was beginning to get suspicious of the guy.” Justin jokes making me blush.

“Joe sees no other girl but Riley.” Casey states with a giggle.

“Highly doubtful.” I retort because I knew he had hooked up with others like the girl with purple hair and some redhead too.

“I heard about him sending you some rude messages the other night?” Casey questions looking at Gina who is failing to look innocent.

“No that was Rob!” I yell clearly needing to set the record straight “He was telling me how hot for me and hard he was thinking about me which wasn’t the best way to spend my Thursday night.”

“Stop joking around.” Gina laughs “You talk about Rob in a very different way to how you speak about Joe so why even bother giving the guy another go.”

“Because me and Joe will always just be friends!” I shout making Justin almost drop his phone on the floor “ Sure he may crash here and flirt with me like crazy causing all sorts of thoughts to appear in my mind but I am not stupid to act on them.”

“There is too much in that sentence to process.” Gina stares at me then shakes her head “So Joe has crashed here like in your bed?”

“It’s a figure of speech.” I brush off Gina’s comment getting really angry at myself for opening my big mouth once again.

“So what kind of thoughts enter your mind when Joe flirts with you then?” Casey asks ignoring what I had just said because obviously it was bullshit.

“Again a figure of-“

“I reckon Riley has dreams about Joe.” Gina states with a dirty looking grin on her face.

“Oh Joe you’re so dreamy!” Casey cries out in a soft voice batting her eyelids at Justin.

“Do me again Joe.” Gina swoons pretending to kiss the cushion next to her on the couch.

“Shut up you guys.” I state then add “Look at Justin he is so uncomfortable right now.”

“I just don’t get what your problem is.” Justin tells me making my mouth hang open whilst he carries on “I saw what you and Joe were like that night at the bar he is the guy to help you with that sordid sex list.”

“I have no sex list!” I practically growl whilst glaring at Casey who isn’t quite meeting my eye right now.

“Well either way whatever you are looking for you found it when you met Joe believe me.” Justin shrugs at me just as Casey grabs him and I try to recover from what he had just said.

“Nicely put Justin.” Gina comments then informs me “So you need to just go out there and get a good fuck because I still believe Joe would be so good in bed.”

“Why is everybody obsessed with how good Joe is at sex?” I question feeling my face break out into a flush that I hoped nobody would comment on.

“I’m not.” Jokes Justin with a smirk.

“Is this why Riley is in such a bad mood?” Asks Casey.

“No you guys are just giving me a headache right now.” I retort shaking my head.

“Riley just wants to have sex with Joe so much she doesn’t know how to close the deal so to speak that is ruining her day at the moment.” Gina grins at me whilst I continue to glare at her.

“I can close.” I retort then add “But I chose not too because-“

“You may fall in love-“Casey begins

“You are scared of how big Joe’s dick is.” Gina finishes making Justin groan and look away from us which makes her cackle.

“You have a problem.” I tell Gina with a smirk finding it a little funny at how Justin was squirming over the conversation that was taking place.

“It has been a week since our bet was made.” Gina reminds me the adds “Yet there has been no action between you and Joe which is disappointing.”

My minds drifts away from Gina’s voice as I see her lean over nudging Justin who now has his hands over his ears and I remember suddenly how hot Joe had looked in my bed pretending to be asleep.

“Riley.” Gina yells causing me to look up and the image I had in my head disappears in a puff off imaginary smoke but I still looked guilty because that was how I currently felt.

“Your face is a picture.” Casey clocks the expression on my face catching me out.

“She is thinking about what Joe has in his pants.” Gina laughs making Justin stand up from the couch and walk out towards the kitchen.

“That is a new low.” I grin at Gina “Embarrassing Justin like that.”

“You’ve got a cute blush going on your face currently.” Gina retorts “Something that cannot be recreated using make up kind of like a sex glow.”

“Will you just stop with that?” I snap because all this talk about sex wasn’t helping my frustration right now.

“You and Joe do look so cute together.” Casey informs me “If this was a film you two would have totally got it on by now!”

“Yeah I would want my money back if I saw this film at the cinema.” Jokes Gina making me flip her off but smirk regardless.

Casey goes to find Justin so I quickly make my exit to the bathroom to have a shower along with my own thoughts then I would just relax and hopefully have the most boring weekend ever.


	19. I Decided

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

This was what the weekend was all about doing as little as possible and spending some quality alone time settled on the couch watching TV which was my best friend no matter what.

It wasn’t like the TV would begin to order me about any time soon expecting me to get a life when I much preferred the idea of letting time pass me by in the comfort of my own personal space.

No this was what I needed right now enjoying a documentary that I had recorded weeks ago about the risks of meeting people online because I loved watching these types of programmes.

Sure I would try and not think about the fact that my next date could be some kind of crazy person because I thought I had a good take on strangers I met but these past few months had proved I hadn’t.

My phone meanwhile was hiding in my bedroom plugged in charging away from view so I could focus on something else other than trying to ignore messages from both Rob and Joe.

It was already early evening and he was the last person I needed stuck in my head but I couldn't get his blue eyes and sexy smile out of my mind goes to show that I needed to stay here on the couch.

Here it was safe and I could not make an idiot out of myself because I was somehow convinced that seeing Joe again would just end in embarrassment and me being turned down.

I had no proof that would happen because Joe never seemed to lose his cool around me unless I was annoying him which I somehow did pretty easy but at the end of it all I just wanted to stay as far away as possible.

My imagination would take me to places that I only dreamed of wrapped up in Joe’s strong tattooed arms waiting eagerly for him to have his wicked way with me the one I had heard so much about.

“Riley you ok?” I hear Gina question as I wake up from my thoughts to see my friend in the living room grinning at me all the while.

“Fine.” I rub a hand over my face trying to cover up the blushes I felt all over my body.

“You sure?” Gina questions with a smirk as I sit up on the couch ignoring the look she was giving me.

Casey and Justin had long gone leaving me to spend the rest of the afternoon here just staring into space secretly dreaming about Joe because that little fantasy hadn’t been the first one of today or I expected the last..

That was why I had been excited at the prospect of doing nothing because Rob was blowing my phone up and even Joe had called me but I had hidden my phone to cleverly avoid all contact I needed to step away .

Looking back at Gina I notice that she is dressed in blue skinny jeans with an orange coloured silk vest on and a cream fitted jacket with the arms rolled up to her elbows looking both amazing and laid back at the same time.

“Looking good.” I comment on Gina’s outfit assuming she was going to head out to meet up with Kirk which thankfully meant that I had some more time to myself.

“Thanks.” Gina smiles at me then eyeing me critically adds “Are you going out dressed like that?”

I reward my friend with a funny look wondering what was wrong with my ripped black leggings and oversized pink tee shirt because there was no way I was going out tonight in this outfit or otherwise.

“It is the weekend you are aware of that right?” Gina questions with a smile.

“Of course.” I nod back shaking my head at my friend.

“So isn’t it time to get out there and find some decent loving!” Gina cheers excitedly “You are single and watching this shitty documentary will not get you laid young lady.”

“I actually appreciate these shitty documentaries thank you very much.” I snort back at Gina adding “Sorry if I want to learn something.”

“The only thing you will learn here.” Gina begins to laugh “Is that you need to get a life!”

Hearing a knock on the door I watch as Gina continues to grin at me whilst I turn the TV off a little worried as to who it could be.

There was a whole bunch of people who could be queuing at the door and I would seriously die if any of them saw me right now, dressed like this with my hair piled on top of my head wearing clothes that only my closet friends would ever see me in.

“Hey!” Casey cheers as she appears in the living room and I drop the remote control from my hand back onto the couch.

“Back again?” I question with a smirk noticing the fuchsia pink wraparound dress Casey was wearing with pale pink high heels.

“Why are you not dressed?” Casey offers making me give her a look back in form of a reply.

Eventually I answer “Because I have vowed not to leave the apartment and I am not playing into any of your or Gina’s mind games.”

This was where I was going to stay and there was nothing neither of my friends could do about it I was finally putting my foot down for once and this time I really meant it.

“So she doesn’t know-“

“Riley you need to come out for a drink with us it feels like forever since we have all gone out!” Gina states cutting off whatever Casey was about to say with a firm nod.

“I just want to stay in and watch my shows.” I smirk refusing to move from the couch because it was currently the only protection I had.

“You do know you are twenty eight not eighty!” Casey shakes her head at me with a wide grin.

“Sure I know.” I roll my eyes “But I have a date tonight with the TV and nothing can change that.”

“What if we buy you all your drinks?” Casey questions.

“Even better.” Begins Gina holding up her phone in front of her then questions “What if I take a picture of you wearing your finest comfy clothes and send it to Pete who would surely forward it onto Joe?”  


"Don’t you dare!” I snap sitting up from the couch getting momentarily blinded by the flash on Gina’s camera phone as I try to cover my hands over my lap.

Right now I was wearing something that no red blooded guy would remotely find sexy and I would just cry if Joe ever saw me in this get up.

“But you look so hot!” Laughs Gina moving the offending phone into her other hand as I attempt to knock it away.

“If you send any pictures to Pete I will kill you.” I state standing up in defeat guessing that I had nothing else to do but get changed and embrace Saturday night instead of hiding from it.

"So you’re coming with us then?” Casey claps her hands excitedly at me.

“Whatever.” I state grumpily turning round heading to my room as quickly as possible before Gina could snap any more pictures of me cursing all the way because my plans for tonight were ruined.

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

I knew better than to decline my friends offer because I knew there would be hell to pay if I didn’t but then a glimmer of hope appears in my mind but I chase it away feeling embarrassed that I had even thought it.

What if Joe appeared at the same bar as me tonight?

Either my friends were up to something which had become a given or Joe would just happen to choose the same bar as me kind of like fate and that opened up a whole heap of thoughts I shouldn't be having.  
  


Picking out an outfit I decide to opt for a pair of olive green coloured skinny jeans adding a cream cropped top that had a black image of a skull on it and some flats because I wasn’t in the mood for heels.

Re-wrapping my hair into a tight bun on top of my head I add a few grips to keep it in place finally adding minimal make up because this was be being half assed about tonight.

If I knew that tonight was important and maybe there was a slither of hope in thinking that Joe would magically appear but I wasn’t betting on it I would just go with the crowd and even if he did arrive he would be good company from my so-called friends .

I was back to a night of possibly watching Casey get wasted or perhaps I would just pass her winning the drunken queen crown descending into blackness when I would end up crashing down seeing that was all I did recently.

That sounded like a good idea to me because it meant I didn’t need to think that much and I had to ignore my phone because Rob was still sending me messages I noticed.

“Here she is!” Yells Gina when I reappear from my bedroom noticing the excited faces my friends had on which made me regret this already.

“So where exactly are we going?” I question as we walk into town and I notice that even though the sun is sitting low in the sky it is going to be a hot night.

“Weston’s bar.” Gina smirks as she catches the expression on my face.

I did not need another night like the one where I had to take part in that awful speed dating and I really hope that this wasn’t going to be a repeat of that.

“It’s just us three and a whole bunch of alcohol.” Casey informs me in regards to how this was all going to play out and I just hoped that she was right.  


"Hook ups are optional.” States Gina making me laugh nervously.

“Well that won’t be me any time soon.” Casey grins at us then adds “Me and Justin had the best time in the hotel last night.”

“Had sex with the lights on did we?” Jokes Gina who shakes her head at me then walks over to the bar.

“We had lots of sex actually.” Casey states even before we sit down at the first available table and I notice the women next to us almost lean over in her seat to listen in.

“It’s alright for some.” I mumble obviously Casey doesn’t hear me because she has her hands splayed out on the table and a cute blush is appearing over her cheeks.

“He kept telling me that he loves me and I will never get bored of him saying that ever.” Casey sighs lost in her own bubble of joy.

“You two are set to be stuck together forever.” I smile and nod back trying not to feel jealous.

“I am very excited to see where the future takes us.” Casey giggles then stops adding “But that isn’t what tonight is about-“

“Are you still going on about Justin?” Gina questions at Casey appearing back at the table with three bottles of beer complete with a wedge of lime stuck in the top of each.

“I will never stop!” Cheers Casey grabbing one of the beers from the blue tray with a large smirk on her face.

“Can I go home now?” I dead pan not looking forward to a night of Casey glowing and watching Gina flirt her way around the bar trying to show me some pointers.

“Shut up and have a beer.” Gina places a drink in front of me and I grudgingly accept it maybe just one then I could try and get away?

“Can I just say that I hope one day you two find the same happiness I have-“

“Oh shit Casey’s drunk already!” I laugh seeing my friend poke her tongue out at me.

“I would rather be an old spinster than act like you!” Gina retorts making me notice the look that passes Casey’s face but it is fleeting and the moment soon passes.

“Well I think you and Justin are just adorable.” I tell her sincerely trying to soften the blow from Gina’s not so thought through words.

“Just don’t go getting any ideas.” Gina aims those words at me adding “You are not even past the first hurdle yet so don’t go following Casey’s lovesick advice!”

“I am sitting here you know!” Casey shakes her head whilst her eyes are full of mischief as she wiggles her eyebrows at me.

“Oh like you care!” Begins Gina rolling her eyes then stating “Riley needs to lose her cherry again and tonight she will make it happen!”

“Let me remind you once again that I have had sex-“

“Ah but you didn’t have fun did you?” Questions Gina with a smirk.

“Well I-“

“You are practically a virgin again!” Gina cuts me off stating this in one of her loudest voices possible making me want to hide under the table.

“Shut up!” I snap almost knocking my beer off the table in frustration and clumsiness because that was on par with me always embarrassing myself.

“Does someone have a headache?” Teases Gina already getting on my nerves.

“I do not need this tonight.” I tell my friends who notice the tone in my voice which was beginning to sound a little deadly matching my impending mood.  


"Stop being such a killjoy!” Casey winks at me “Just enjoy your beer and relax.”  


"How can I when Rob keeps messaging me?” I question hearing the familiar beep of my phone once again “I have replied to every three messages he has sent me but he is still on my tail.”

“So you are swearing off guys forever now then?” Gina asks me wearing a very unconvinced look on her face.

“Only for tonight.” I dead pan making Casey scoff at me.

“Does that include Joe as well?” Casey grins as I shake my head in the affirmative.

“Yes.” I reply non-committedly because the guy in question had called me earlier but I had ignored the call sending it directly to voice mail.

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Looking up from my thoughts I see Gina answer her phone even though I swear I never heard it ring but I watch as she gets up stepping into the crowd trying to ignore the massive grin on her face.

Taking a long gulp of drink I tell myself I am just being paranoid and Gina surely isn’t up to something because I would kill her if she was and that was a fact.

“Don’t worry.” Casey smirks at me “I am sure she isn’t up to something.”

“I will go home if she is trying to pull something.” I retort.

“Or someone.” Casey giggles at me pushing the wedge of lime further down into her bottle of beer.

“I’ve found my someone for sure.” Casey continues through my silence and I let her continue to talk about how magical her relationship was watching her face as she looked full of bliss.

Only half listening to Casey I watched people pass by our table wondering why the hell was I here but most of all why could I not even have any fun?

“I am so sorry.” Casey states interrupting my thoughts “I am at it again I really need to stop-“

“Stop apologising!” I tell her firmly for what felt like the millionth time then add “Don’t feel bad for me I am so glad you are happy I am just still at the starting line but my time will come.”

“You should call-“

Before Casey finishes that sentence a guy knocks into our table trying to push through the crowd because the place was beginning to fill up and so the moment was now gone.

Hearing my phone ring I try to grab it from the table in front of me but Casey snatches it up before me and the look on her face when she checks the screen says it all.

“Talk to him.” Casey chucks my phone at me like it was burning in her hands but not without pressing the green button I notice.

“Finally!” I hear Joe yell at me down the phone as I look back to glare at Casey who has a huge smile on her face.

“Hello?” Joe questions when my voice gets stuck in my throat and I cannot speak but I hear Joe tell me that I must have answered by accident so he hangs up.

“Why didn’t you speak to him?” Casey nudges me on the shoulder hard as I place my phone back onto the table feeling a little defensive all over again.

“I am capable you know.” I mutter to myself but Casey overhears me.

“I just thought-“

“What’s happening guys?” Gina reappears looking from me to Casey who has a gleeful look on her face.

I close my eyes as Casey explains to Gina what had just happened and I wonder if I can escape to the bar for another beer or three.

“Thinking isn’t how you get laid.” Gina states watching me trying to avoid looking at her shaking my head trying to hide a smile because this was ridiculous.

“I know how to do it.” I retort then add “Casey threw me off I will just call him back later.”

“You better.” Gina points a finger at me stating “Joe is more than ready for you it is time you stepped up.”

“But what about seeing Rob again?” I question sarcastically then add “Joe will have to just get in line.”

“Just fuck Joe!” Casey yells at me shaking my right arm up and down whilst I try and pull away from her.

“Ok I’ll call Rob and-“

“No not him!” Gina cries as I explain that I will just message him and meet Rob again it would be a lot easier.

“It’s done.” I state sending a quick message to Rob whilst Gina shakes her head at me and Casey looks on disapprovingly.

“I need more drink.” Gina gets up from the table and heads towards the bar leaving me with Casey.

“I am sick of asking you this.” Casey begins and I wish she wouldn't but carries on regardless asking me “Why are you so afraid?”

“I’m not-“

“Ok well go and do it then.” Casey nudges me adding “For the love of god just do it!”

Before I can jump to my own defence I notice a familiar face as Kirk appears at our table with another guy by his side and I decide now is my cue to leave.

“Hello ladies.” Kirk winks at me and Casey whilst I see Gina practically run over to the table because she has noticed who was here.

“Hey sexy.” Gina winks at Kirk as he grabs her into a hug almost dropping the beers onto the floor in the process.

“Not a set up eh?” I question to Casey as I notice the guy next to Kirk grinning at me.

Kirk sits down next to Gina and they proceed to make out whilst his friend grabs a seat telling me to move as he makes himself a space at the table.

“Hey I’m Ren.” The guy informs me then adds “I heard you needed some help?”

Casey bursts out laughing as she hears me swear at Ren who winks one of his grey eyes scanning over me whilst I shake my head this was a set up and once again I had fallen for it.

“I’m good.” I tell him sensing that whatever Kirk had told his friend about me it wasn’t to tell him that I had a good sense of humour.

Drinking my beer in silence I send threatening glares at Gina whilst she tries not to notice all the while Ren has spent about twenty minutes talking about himself whilst totally boring me in the process.

How was it that I attracted assholes because sure I had no idea what Ren’s deal was but I knew that what he was after I wasn’t offering it to him.

Missing the couch I wonder why I had even left it but I am thankful when the guy next to me with short dapper Dan styled hair takes the hint and gets up from the chair.

“Unlike Gina I’ve learned never to set you up again especially after Lance.” Casey jokes with a grin.

“At least one of my friends understands this.” I sigh sadly.

“But would you take a few pointers from me instead?” Asks Casey which makes me roll my eyes at her.

“Go ahead your words won’t hurt me.” I retort sarcastically.

“See that is your problem!” Casey tells me adding “You need to drop the act of being all tough and lose the chip on your shoulder too.”

“Ouch.” I state not for the first time a close friend expressing their words hitting me hard in my stomach.

“I say this as your best friend.” Casey continues “But Joe or anyone else for that matter isn’t going to wait around forever and you need to just get your sexy ass out there and show him what he is missing.”

“Could any guy handle all this?” I question making Casey laugh loudly.

I see Ren sill ignoring me currently glued to his phone not making an effort to even look at me any more but I was ok with this because I wasn’t going to put myself out there for him.

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Kirk keeps grinning at me from across the table which annoys me because I really do dislike his smug face sometimes but it appears Gina is still smitten with him.

“Does Joe need to be warned about-“

“Are you still talking about that guy?” Cuts in Kirk stopping me hear whatever Casey was saying as he looks at me shocked.

“What guy?” I question lamely.

“If you haven’t already hooked up with Joe that was why I bought out Ren with me he is here to help you out you know have a little fun!” Kirk states with a wide smile and even Gina is giving him an incredulous look.

“Ren isn’t her type.” Gina smirks at me adding “It is all about Joe.”

“Wow you really have a thing for this dude.” Kirk grins at me.

“Do you still happen to have that big box of condoms the one you bought to use just in case on Joe?” Gina questions making me glare at her.

“I regret buying them.” I dead pan noticing that Ren has taken a sudden interest in the conversation.

“Well what is the problem?” Kirk questions “Sounds to me like someone is all set to get laid!”

“I need another drink.” I reply wishing that this lot would talk about anything other than me and my impending sex life once it got off the ground so to speak.

Standing up from the table I walk off towards the bar looking back briefly to see Kirk talking to Ren who still has the smug look on his face and he grins widely when he sees someone in the crowd.

Staying at the bar I take up a stool and decide what to do next whilst I order myself several shots lining three up next to one another ready to be consumed.

Feeling hungry because I had hardly eaten all day I pick up the first shot and wonder why the hell I messaged Rob as I shoot the drink and think would it really be bad if I did see him again?

Then Joe pops into my mind after downing the other two shots and I know it would be a terrible idea to just appear at his apartment and maybe win him over?

I allowed myself to dream sitting on Joe’s lap on his couch, arms wrapped firmly around his neck as he whispers sexy words into my ear and the moment is gone as I make even myself cringe.

That wouldn't happen in real life but there is no harm in dreaming right?

Heading back to the table I see Kirk and Gina talking their heads close to one another and I wonder if they are arguing because my friend begins to wave her hands around like she was pissed off.

Soon the pair would part ways eventually and Kirk would drift off to the next girls whilst I could not wait to see my friends face when I set her up with Cody.

I do not understand how Gina can be so unaffected by meeting guys all the time and acting like it is no big deal didn’t she want to fall in love and meet somebody?

Whenever I had voiced this in the past it was met with laughter and Gina telling me she was better off alone she liked it that way honestly.

I guess sounding pathetic was my forte so I decide to instead take a seat back at the table to see what was going to happen next because I didn’t have a clue.

“What you need to do.” Begins Kirk a little later “Is ditch the cute indie girl look and stop trying to be so funny because guys didn’t like funny chicks.”

I roll my eyes at this and hold back a reply because I hadn’t even asked for his advice like everyone else he just voiced his own thoughts without me even wanting to hear them.

Thankfully Gina elbows him in the ribs after he says this and I see Casey shake her head at me looking as annoyed as I felt.

“Riley is a rare flower.” Gina states then adds “In fact she is living the manic pixie dream girl life and all is good.”

“Well weird chicks freak me out.” Kirk states grumpily.

Pretty soon an argument ensues between Kirk and Gina with voices raised and admitting defeat Kirk gets up and walks off with Ren close behind him and my friend rewards me with a victorious smile.

“What an idiot-“

“Just do me one solid.” Begins Kirk reappearing back in front of us suddenly “Just stop fucking around and call Joe because guys do not liked to be lead on and all this is even infuriating me!”

This makes me laugh because somewhere in that statement was Kirk’s voice of concern it even makes Gina smirk and grab his hand pulling him closer to her.

“Riley knows what she is doing.” Gina winks at me.

“Sure.” I nod nonchalantly “I just haven’t found the right guy yet-“

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Shouts Kirk adding “Women, fuck!”

“Well it looks like Ren knows what he is doing?” Gina jokes shaking her head at Kirk who I think I may have just broken.

“Ren was trained by the best.” Grins Kirk who appears to have gotten over his little rant he had just then.

“Well I may just need your help them!” I joke but begin to freak out when I see the look on Kirk’s face.

“First of all stop being a bitch.” Kirk jumps right in with the mentoring sitting back in his seat he continues “Be it Joe or whoever else you have on this list of yours just get out there no one is holding you back but yourself.”

Gob smacked not for the first time this evening I notice Ren walk past our table with his lady friend attached to his arm looking a little shamefaced almost like he was feeling sorry for me.

This makes Kirk’s words echo hard in my mind because even though I could have just imagined the look Ren gave me I knew that I needed to explain something to my friends.

“Well I am not a tease.” I begin loudly then add “I need to go and make the right move right now because I could.”

Knocking the seat back from behind me I almost fall over as I race away from my friends into the crowd trying to make my exit from the bar pushing the door firmly so I could finish off my revelation outside.

Taking a deep lungful of air I try to calm down because even though I had tried to get my point across it had been long overdue and all I had to thank for that was the alcohol I had drunk.

Thanks to my empty stomach I felt really dizzy all of a sudden but leaning against a white brick wall the floor stops moving up at me and I see that Casey has followed me outside a look of concern on her pretty face.

“I’m fine.” I tell Casey before she asks me then add “I just need sometime alone right now.”

But Casey doesn’t listen to me instead shaking her head she stands by my side whilst all I wanted was to be by myself thinking a few things through before I made my next move.

“I don’t want to be a bitch.” I tell Casey who ignores me but I carry on regardless “Yet could you just go away.”

“Like hell.” Casey states adding with a small smile “I will not go away.”

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Sighing I watch as Casey stands next to me and I continue to slump up against the wall watching people pass by wondering why could I not just get my shit together.

Letting the alcohol buzz wash over me I recall what Kirk has said about taking action and it was only me holding myself back well that was pretty deep stuff but totally true.

I could see now how much I was ruining my own chances not just by being a miserable bitch at times but not paying attention to the fact that I did have all this in control.

With only two options left to me either meet up with Rob again liked planned and have some mediocre sex or actually call Joe up and talk to him I needed to decide and quick.

Just to see if what Kirk had said was right because even I had a small feeling that I was leading on the bartender but it wasn’t as if Joe wasn’t actually hooking up because I knew that he was.

Meanwhile I was getting the bad end of the deal and that needed to change really quickly instead of spending hours dissecting the problem I should just take it into my own hands.

Maybe then everybody would just get off my back if I proved to them I could do this and surely it would improve my mood as well because I was fed up with feeling this way.

But then a bad thought hits me what if Joe was beginning to go off me?

Maybe I had gone too far with playing hard to get and Joe finally took the hints I had been lamely throwing at him despite the fact that I all I wanted to do was have him to myself just to prove the point that I could.

But there was no denying the attraction we had together unless I had imagined all of that as well but I was sure Joe had felt it too.

“I had an argument with Justin last night.” Casey states making me look up from the floor.

“At the hotel?” I question “But-“

“Sure we argue from time to time but this totally got blown out of proportion and it was all because I want a pet.” Casey shrugs at me and for a moment I see an uneasy look pass over my friends face.

“Like a cat or something?” I question wondering why Casey had decided to tell me this right now.

“Yeah.” Casey nods at me then continues “But in guy code that means I want to start a family or something which I do but not like right this second!”

This was news to me even though I knew Casey was rather private but right now she was opening herself up about something other than being so in love it was the reality of a relationship.

I could easily imagine Casey and Justin having a child because the two had been dating for a while now and I yeah despite this argument that had happened they would be together forever.

They were just that kind of couple that everybody aspired to be like but only a select few it seemed would eventually go on to meet their match whilst I just wanted to get through the summer.

“You guys would be great parents.” I tell Casey who grins at me “But it would be cute if you went and got yourselves a pet to bring into your little family before you had kids.

“It will happen one day.” Casey shrugs at me adding “Even though I do not want to rush anything but Justin thinks I have some kind of ulterior motive in place to trap him.”

“Guys are so one-“

“Justin’s mum keeps calling us up to ask about when she is going to get a grandchild which started this whole feeling of pressure between us.” Cuts in Casey making me give her a sidelong look.

“Well that is a load of bullshit.” I tell Casey who nods in agreement “Pressure is no good I can tell you that at great length.”

“There is no need for you to feel pressurised.” Casey smirks at me stating “Joe would be there for you even if you didn’t need him.”

“Let’s not get into that.” I dead pan deciding to change the subject back to my friend “We need to plan a time where we can both go to an adoption shelter and pick out an animal together.”

“Of course and bring Justin along with us.” Casey smiles “He owes me after last night’s antics in the hotel.”

“Oh god!” I roll my eyes jokingly adding “Please don’t go into detail or I might just be sick.”

“I will never tell.” Casey laughs back at me.

“Plus you have nothing to worry about Justin loves you so fucking much everyone can see that!” I tell Casey who places a hand over her mouth beginning to look like she was about to cry.

“Oh I’m sorry!” Casey groans at me “Please ignore my rants you have worse problems than mean, well I mean not problems but Joe-“

“Casey.” I shake my head at my friend “Please shut up I don’t need you feeling sorry for me.”

“Fine.” Casey sighs but not without adding “It is now up to you.”

“Don’t get all melodramatic on me now!” I laugh her comment off as she winks back at me.

I mention that Casey should get a dog because she luckily works right near her apartment so it would be great to catch up and just go for walk or jogs together with the animal it’ll would be fun.

Smiling at Casey’s back as she turns round to face the group of people next to us I find myself grabbing my phone from my pocket then staring at it like it held the key to my next move.

In a way it kind of did I think to myself as my mind drifts off and I stare at my phone screen ignoring the new messages from Rob swiping them away making a note to check them later.

Breaking me from my thoughts with a hard whack on the head Casey begins to clumsily pat me trying to get my attention.

“It will all be ok.” Casey informs me “Rob will call you.”

This makes me laugh because he was the last person I wanted to speak to right now.

“No wait.” Casey drunkenly giggled at me asking “Am I rooting for Joe or Rob?”

“I have no idea.” I lie even though I knew full well who I wanted to see at this very moment because he was such a good friend compared to mine right now.

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

My mind as always was occupied with thoughts of Joe and I grin as Gina appears next to us smiling widely but Casey orders her back into the bar explaining that I had something urgent I needed to do.

Waving both of my friends away as Gina who looks very intrigued tries to hang around but Casey drags her away from me so I decide to finally stop being a wuss and seal my own fate.

Calling Joe I feel my heart bounce around in my chest as I listen to each ring almost as if he was waiting for my call he answers pretty quickly but there is a lot of noise in the background.

Where the hell was he? Did this guy ever stay at home I guess he was out with Pete or the guys from Death Valley Records?

Fuelled by alcohol I start to talk awkwardly and quickly “Er hey Joe I don’t know if you can hear me, can you hear me?”

“Riley?” Joe questions as I nod even though he obviously couldn't see me.

“Yes it’s me!” I squeak loudly.

With my voice raised I ignore the fact that there are people around me who could easily hear what I was about to tell Joe because I had long left my social conscience at the bar as soon as I had walked in.

“Are you still there Riley?” Joe questions down the line.

“Of course!” I shout then dropping my voice a little I ask “Does your offer still stand?”

“Wait a sec.” Joe states as I hear movement and then a door slam shut.

I begin to hop on the spot because I was getting super frustrated right now and kidding myself that this was both a good idea because I was drunk.

“What did you just say?” Joe questions breaking into my thoughts making me stand rooted to the spot suddenly.

“Does the offer still stand?” I ask then boldly continue “One night of no strings attached sex between friends it could be fun and clear the air between us.”

Smiling to myself I decide how Joe could refuse an offer like that even though it had been his stupid idea in the first place but then I hear a deep intake of breath followed by a choked sigh.

“So what is the deal with you and Rob then?” Joe questions which wasn’t something I thought he would open with but I let it slide.

“Rob isn’t on the menu anymore.” I laugh partly at what I had just said and partly at how brazen I had just sounded.

Sure I was a little drunk but right now I was speaking the truth which was both refreshing and surprising even getting a small cheer from the girl standing next to me but I turn away from her.

Hearing Joe laugh makes my stomach turn in excitement but then I hear him clear his throat again and then adopt a serious tone in his voice.

“I am out with someone right now.” Joe states making me think that it wasn’t Pete he was hanging out with and I have yet again made a total idiot of myself.

Beginning to feel deeply embarrassed I eventually find my voice “I will go and leave you alone.” I state hanging up the phone ignoring whatever Joe was about to say to me.

Well that was a crap idea I think to myself watching the girl who had cheered at me go to high five me but instead I give her the thumbs down and a shrug of my heavy shoulders.

Walking back into the bar wanting nothing more than to drink myself into oblivion I try to locate my friends trying to hide the tail that was between my legs because I was feeling useless.

This was turning out to be yet another shit Saturday night which makes me wonder if it was even worth getting up from bed next weekend maybe I was just better off alone in bed even though it did sound lonely.

Standing amongst the crowd I briefly wonder who it was that Joe was with as my mind goes to Shona his ex or even the girl with deep purple hair which made me feel really jealous.

How was it that she or some other unknown was going to have sex with Joe and here I was still not getting any it really wasn’t fair.

Was I really this stupid?

I wonder to myself noticing Ren is talking to two girls at the bar but I am glad he is out of the way the guy was an idiot and I was still annoyed at how spot on Kirk was with his comments about me.

Leading Joe on to the point that he was with someone else even though ever since we had met up again since college there had always been flirting involved between us until now.

Would that stop now seeing that I have gone and ruined something between us?

Well they do say you can’t regret something that you never did or something like that so I guess I just needed to stop feeling sorry for myself because it wasn’t a very good look.

The atmosphere shifts for the rest of the night at the bar with me feeling a little lost whilst I ignore comments from Gina and Kirk who have a say on everything and their words are law.

Meanwhile Casey tries to keep the peace because Gina is getting very loud and I had been talking easily with my friend trying to cheer her up because she looked how I felt right now.

Whilst the table was arguing over what was their best nineties film they watched as a kid I imagine Joe calling up Pete telling him all about our little conversation both of them laughing at my expense.

I really did hate the over active imagination I had been cursed with but right now that was all I could see and really did hurt.

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

“What’s your favourite movie?” Gina questions loudly.

“From the nineties?” I reply trying my best to think about something else because I was driving myself mad.

“Yes!” Gina shakes my arm adding “Mine is obviously Clueless.”

“That’s how Riley feels right now.” Jokes Kirk unhelpfully.

“I spent most of my childhood in front of the TV over watching VHS films until they couldn't play any more.” I smile at the memory of those much happier times when things had been simpler.

“All nineties kids grew up on TV.” Kirk nods at me drunkenly.

“Well I did really used to love watching the film “Home Alone” like all year round driving my parents crazy in the process.” I smirk to myself.

“But how can you chose just one film you grew up with?” Casey asks adding “I have like a million films I loved at a kid this question is really tough!”

“Another one I loved as a kid was Edward Scissor hands.” I state with a grin.

“No brainer.” Gina nods excitedly “Johnny Depp is a god.”

Pretty soon shots get involved and the conversation becomes a lot vaguer but I am in bliss because I am truly wasted and I find myself briefly forgetting why I had felt so blue and jealous which was a miracle.

I know I had become some ugly green eyed monster recently over my friend’s relationships and such but she had momentarily disappeared leaving me feel better than I had in ages.

All piling out from the bar eventually after last orders had been called I try to grab Casey’s arm because I wanted to talk to her seeing how quiet she had become at the table had unsettled me.

“Hey-“I begin trying to get Casey’s attention.

“Isn't that you phone?” Cuts in Gina clumsily walking into my right arm whilst I try to locate my phone which was indeed ringing.

Looking at the screen I see it is Joe but before I can answer it the call ends and Gina jabs me hard in the ribs which really fucking hurts.

“Ow!” I yell loudly in her ear causing her to move away from me.

“Who was that?” Questions Casey with the first smile on her face I have seen in at least two hours.

“Don’t worry about that.” I brush off her comment asking “Are you-“

Once again my phone interrupts me by ringing causing me to lose my trail of thought and lose my sentence in mid-air.

“I bet its Rob.” Winks Gina standing a little way from me probably worried I will scream in her ear again.

“No way.” Laughs Casey “We all know who it really is come on!”

Turning round ignoring my friends I walk off pressing the answer call icon blindly to be met by loud swearing.

“Fucking hell Riley!” Yells Joe angrily.

“Hello to you too.” I dead pan then hiccup for full drunken effect.

“I’ve called you like five fucking times!” Joe continues to yell at me "I want to talk to you."

“Fine let's talk.” I tell him waving my hand in the air as if to prove my point.

“You sound drunk.” Joe snorts at me a hint of a smile playing in his voice.

“What if I am?” I question with a giggle.

“Met anybody tonight?” Asks Joe all of a sudden.

“No one not even a Rob!” I joke stupidly failing to mention the fact that I had set another date with him stupidly.

“So come round to my apartment then.” States Joe making me look back at my friends then at my feet in drunken confusion.

“Sure.” I say before I have even though it through and with a rushed goodbye to my friends who are all jumping to conclusions I try to wave down a taxi.

“Someone’s getting laid!” Shouts Kirk loudly as a taxi stops in front of me and I smile to myself.

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Waving my phone drunkenly at the driver because Joe had messaged me his address just in case I’d forgotten where he lived the guy nods and soon I am on my way.

Leaning back in the plush seat I close my eyes trying to ignore the buzz that was washing over me which was at least ninety per cent excitement because I was looking forward to seeing Joe.

Soon I am heading up the front steps to Joe’s apartment my stomach turning somersaults whilst I try to appear a lot less drunk than what I am which was proving hard.

Pressing the buzzer to Joe’s apartment I am soon let in and then I am knocking hard on his door a wide but nervous smile playing on my lips.

“Hey.” Joe answers the door and I see he is wearing a slim fitted grey tee shirt and a pair of dark blue boxers showcasing how nice and firm his thighs are.

“Hi.” I smile going to lean on his front door but I miss it falling instead into Joe’s arms instead.

“Woah you ok?” Joe questions holding onto me tightly whilst I stand up looking up into his blue eyes noticing the sexy smirk on his face.

“Fine.” I smile pulling away from Joe’s embrace as I stumble into his apartment falling face first onto one of his grey couches.

I look up to see Joe sit down next to me moving some loose hair away from my face whilst I try to sit up on the couch.

“You look so pretty tonight.” Joe tells me making me roll my eyes.

“Is this how you get all those girls into bed?” I question making Joe chuckle at me “Using that lame line time after time.”

“You’ve found me out.” Joe laughs as he drapes an arm over the couch and I find myself leaning into him placing my head on his shoulder.

Joe smelled of cigarettes and deodorant as I breathed him in closing my eyes feeling happy to be here but unsure what my next step was going to be.

“So did you have a good night out?” Joe questions making me lift my head up from his shoulder and smirk at him.

“Of course.” I smile even though that was far from the truth.

“Liar.” Joe grins at me seeing my face making me roll my eyes at him.

“Let’s not talk about me.” I whine fed up of hearing about what I needed to do when I could just do it like now.

“What do you want to do then?” Joe asks giving me a sidelong look making me chuckle.

Sitting up on my knees I lean forward and kiss Joe who lets me make the first move before he urgently begins to kiss me back and I know this was exactly the right thing to do.

Placing my arms around his neck I grin widely as I believe I am in fact playing out a fantasy I had in my head earlier the one with me and Joe on the couch as I straddle his lap just like I am doing now.

“Who are you and what have you done with Riley?” Jokes Joe as he pulls away from me to see the pretend shocked look on my face then he buries his face into my neck.

Placing light kisses along my collar bone I sigh as I bury my hands into his mess of hair letting the curls brush through my fingers as I enjoy the moment feeling the strong hint of anticipation in the air.

Feeling Joe’s hands wrap around my waist his palms lying flat over my bare skin on my back he pulls me closer to him whilst I resume kissing the heck out of him because that was fun.

With his hands moving up my back I feel my tee shirt rise to reveal more skin as our kiss deepens and I let out a noise which is a cross between a giggle and a sigh making Joe stop.

Holding my hand over my mouth Joe smirks at me whist he drags a hand through his hair and I begin to feel wobbly perhaps from the sudden lack of kissing resulting in me almost falling off his lap.

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

“I am going to regret saying this.” Joe begins pushing me gently away as after I have sort of regained my composure I lean forward to try and kiss him again.

“Then don’t say it.” I tell him simply pouting as I watch him bite his bottom lip.

“This isn’t the right time-“

“For this?” I wave my hands in the air almost poking Joe’s left eye out in the process.

“Yes.” Joe begins taking hold of my hands with his so I would stop waving them around everywhere he adds “Now isn’t the right moment for this to happen.”

“But I want to have sex with you!” I cry out loud making Joe smile at me.

“It just wouldn't be right.” Joe states but then informs me with a grin “Both the offer and the bet still stands though of course!”

“What do-“I begin then the memory of me calling Joe earlier rushes through my mind and stops me from finishing that sentence.

“Who were you with earlier then?” I question standing up off of Joe’s lap feeling the room spin whilst my face burnt up from the recent contact.

“Just some of Pete’s friends from his work they were off to a rave or something.” Joe grins at me then sees my face.

“So you weren't with another women or something?” I question lamely.

“No.” Joe stands up and I fail not to notice the lasting impression I had left on Joe in his boxers which made be briefly believe that all the rumours about the guy in front of me were in fact true.

“So I’ve yet again made an idiot out of myself?” I question hoping that Joe wouldn't answer in a hurry.

“Of course not.” Joe re adjusts his boxers then sitting back down on the couch patting the empty seat next to him so I decide to lay down placing my head onto this thigh.

“So if I wasn’t a little drunk right now-“

“I would have taken you into my bedroom and shown you that I stick to my word.” Joe grins down at me as I rub my face into his skin feeling the hairs on his leg tickle my nose.

“Shit I am never drinking again.” I joke making Joe laugh loudly.

“I think you should give it a rest.” Joe teases adding “I need to go to bed all alone and think about the hot women out here sleeping on my couch all night.”

“Can’t I sleep with you?” I question then noticing Joe’s eyebrow raise add “I mean no funny business just passing out next to you instead.”

“I don’t think there would be much sleeping involved if you did that.” Jokes Joe with a smirk.

“Damn my sexiness!” I yell whilst rolling onto my back all the while watching Joe watching me.

“It’s been driving me insane for a while.” Joe laughs then moves to stand up from the couch so I sit up placing my feet firmly on the floor because the room was spinning again like a bitch.

“I’ll got get you a glass of water.” Joe tells me padding out from the living room as I watch his behind leave feeling so many mixed emotions I thought I was going to throw them all up.

Well this hadn’t gone exactly to plan but it was better than what I had thought would happen but not what I had hoped Gina was right my love life would be one shit movie to have to sit through.

“Here you go.” Joe hands me a tumbler filled with water and I nod my thanks regretting it instantly soon after.

“Cheers.” I smile at him adding “Can’t believe I’ve ruined my chances like this!”

“There will be plenty of more.” Joe informs me but turns around as I take off my cropped tee shirt and chuck it onto the floor.

“Well I might as well just pass out here then.” I sigh unzipping my jeans just as Joe walks out of the living room again and I chuck the TV remote off the couch onto my clothes.

“Here is a pillow and a thin blanket if you need it.” Joe smiles and I grin back as I catch him looking me up and down which makes me feel bold.

“Do I get one more kiss?” I question laying my head down onto the pillow stretching my legs out barely reaching the other side of the couch.

“I might regret what I would do next.” Joe grins at me adding “Sweet dreams Riley.”

Waving my hand I close my eyes as I listen to Joe move into his bedroom and pretty soon fall into an uneasy sleep filled with thoughts of Joe and flying bottles of beer floating above my head.


	20. About Last Night...

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................  
Waking up to the smell of strong coffee normally makes my morning but at this very second it was making me gag instead silently vowing to myself the usual statement that I was never going to drink ever again.

Sitting up on the couch I wrestle with the thin baby blue blanket wrapped around my feet kicking it to the floor whilst hearing footsteps I look up to see Joe appear in the doorway which makes me grab for the blanket again to cover myself up.

“Morning.” Joe greets me with a smile.

“Hey.” I mumble awkwardly trying to hide the fact that for some reason I was in my underwear on Joe’s couch with a killer hangover needing a whole day’s worth of sleep to try and figure out why.

I watch Joe as he bends down in front of the couch holding out a large mug of coffee which makes me smile but the smell really was making me feel nauseous right now.

Wearing grey sweat pants I notice that Joe was also shirtless and I find myself trying not to stare at his chest noticing once again that there were several tattoos in the process of being completed and I couldn't help but just stare at him.

“Here.” Joe hands me the coffee mug but I place it down next to me instead on the small black side table not even able to look at it.

“I feel so hungover.” I groan sticking my legs out in front of me feeling my body shake whilst I try to remember pieces from last night attempting not to openly stare at Joe because he looked so good this morning.

This really was becoming my life recently waking up most mornings trying to fit together random pieces of information from the night before only to feel lost instead.

But then usually soon after that embarrassment would settle in when the memories did come flooding back or one of my friends let me in on what had happened causing me to either sulk or get angry at myself.

“It’s your own fault.” Joe grins at me whilst I roll my eyes.

“So why am I here in my underwear on your couch then?” I question whilst bunching the blanket closer around me.

“Let’s go have some breakfast together and then I can explain.” Joe grins at me whilst getting up from his position on the floor stretching his arms behind his back whilst I shake my head.

“I need to figure a few things out about last night first.” I tell Joe because even the thought of food right now was making me sick so I add “Also I need to go sleep the rest of the day off.”

“Ah well you know if you’re feeling better later then the offer still stands.” Joe informs me making me pick up a few key words from that sentence in the process plus that teasing grin on his face just said it all.

“Is that an offer for food or the one night of sex?” I ask out loud before I can stop myself making Joe look at me eyes filled with humour whilst the memory of straddling his lap last night hits me hard and fast.

“Both of those things sound incredible right now.” Joe winks at me adding “But why wait until tonight to have sex?”

“Oh god.” I groan covering my hands over my eyes in the empty hope that I could stop seeing the replay of last night in my head but it wasn’t helping one bit.

“Stop feeling so embarrassed.” Joe orders me gently pulling my hands away from my eyes so I had to look at him “Where is the sex goddess I met last night?”

“She’s hungover.” I dead pan then something hits me so I ask Joe “So who were you with last night when I called you to stupidly offer myself to you then?”

“With Pete and a friend of his who is a DJ.” Joe grins at me then states “I was going to tell you this but you hung up on me.”

“I was mortified you had rejected me a new low-“

“But here’s the thing I hadn’t.” Joe cuts in with a smirk informing me “Your call was the best thing to happen to me last night.”

“I felt so low I just decided to drink and then get advice from Kirk.” I shake my head at the memory of his pep talk which was a little misguided but the guy had hit the spot with him ordering me to just go for it.

“Well he must have said something to change your mind.” Joe grins at me making my blush at the memory.

“Suddenly I don’t feel as empowered as I had last night.” I joke remembering how I had become some kind of female sex warrior last night with no worries in the world just caught up in the moment ready for some fun just like the hero I needed to be.

“I am sure it wasn’t just the booze.” Joe begins making me look up at him “You were horny and so was I but yeah I had to put a stop to it because it didn’t feel right.”

“So now you've become the tease then?” I joke making Joe pull a silly face at me.

“But if you hadn’t of been drunk.” Joe grins at me sexily adding “We wouldn't be having this conversation right now.”

Feeling both the weight of Joe’s words and his eyes as they glide over my body because I have exposed my top half by folding my arms across my chest I begin to feel a little warm and it wasn’t because of the weather.

“Where would we be then?” I question making Joe laugh at me.

“Anywhere in this apartment.” Joe waves his hands around as if to further prove the point.

“It’s a real shame I have this throbbing headache right now.” I joke awkwardly which was how I did everything at the moment it appeared unless I was drunk of course.

“You won’t be able to use that excuse all the time.” Joe winks at me adding “Thanks to last night’s events I had a very interesting dream that I've bookmarked for future reference.”

Leaning across to grab my now cooled coffee I have no idea what to say to this because if it had been me from last night I would of thought of some sexy retort but right now I had nothing.

“Have I finally rendered you speechless?” Questions Joe making me pretend to glare back at him.

“Are we having some kind of pretend couples argument here?” I retort because there had been that time when we had decided to make our friends think that we were on the cusp of getting together but that was soon replaced by all this teasing instead.

“Oh yeah!” Joe begins probably remembering our little deal “Well I offered my advice to you but now I think it is just best for the both of us if I offered you my body instead.”

This makes me choke on my coffee as I recall how much fun it had been sitting on Joe’s lap running my hands through his sexy mess of hair the memory almost making me sigh out loud.

“So you do want me then?” I question making Joe give me a serious look in return.

“Of course I do!” Joe states adding “You’re hot as hell and I have been waiting for a long time to have you say yes to me.”

“How long?” I question adding “Like eve since I met you at Upside Down?”

“Since then yeah!” Joe looks suddenly caught out I know this because I know that look all too well as he backtracks “Not any other time like when I knew you at college or anything no way.”

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

It was odd seeing the tables suddenly turned me sitting here watching Joe flail about smiling awkwardly like he was trying to hide something but the very words he wanted to say were on the tip of his tongue.

Managing to keep down my coffee I feel a little more alive as I watch Joe silently move around the living room to open the large window allowing the already warm sunshine to stream in setting the mood for the day.

“This won’t change anything will it?” I ask Joe who stops fiddling with the TV remote to look at me.

“Of course not.” Joe smiles at me his composure regained once more making him look as confident as ever “The moment wasn’t right last night but when it is you will know.”

“Thanks.” I retort sarcastically suddenly feeling a little annoyed because I had been more than ready last night sure I was drunk but I was a grown women I still had some kind of control.

“Do you want another coffee?” Joe asks me as I shake my head angrily.

“Well you’re left with the non-exciting version of me now.” I dead pan making Joe sigh at me.

“It was all you last night. “Joe tells me “Sure alcohol can heighten your senses and all that other shit but the hot girl who was kissing the hell out of me was you and I really did enjoy it.”

This makes me blush as Joe gives me a lingering look almost like if I didn’t look like a hungover creature from the deep then he would be with me on the couch recreating last night’s antics hopefully having them reach a climatic end this time.

“So when are we going to try again?” I question sarcastically.

“Whenever either of us are horny we just give the other a call it is that simple.” Joe nods at me.

“For a one time deal.” I dead pan wondering not for the first time if this was the best idea in the world or the worst the jury was still out.

“It could lead to more.” Joe winks at me whilst I roll mt eyes right back at him.

“I have talents thank you!” I joke grabbing the pillow next to me ready to throw at Joe but instead I end up pulling off the blanket that I had been hiding under.

“I can see.” Joe grins at me whilst I yell at him to leave the room so I could get dressed.

“You look better in your underwear anyway.” Joe shouts from the kitchen making me shake my head.

Standing up from the couch makes my body shake once more whilst I clumsily guide my legs into my jeans then firmly zip them up ignoring the deep, dull thud that was radiating through my skull right this second.

Picking my tee shirt off the floor I turn around to face the large window nobody could really see me behind the curtain but as I pull my head through the cream coloured cropped tee shirt I turn around to notice that Joe has made a reappearance and he is watching me.

“I was three seconds away from coming over there to give you a hand.” States Joe hands in his sweat pant pockets giving me one of his most suggestive smiles.

“That would have been a bad idea.” I joke trying to find my denim jacket because I needed to get out of here like right now.

“Well I need to go and take a very cold shower now.” Joe grins at me as I find my jacket on the kitchen table a little part of me hoping that Joe would make a move if I did walk past him but this never happens and I accept my fate.

“It will do you good.” I smile turning round to face Joe at his door because I needed to get out of here and take a few deep breaths.

“Don’t forget our deal then.” Joe smiles leaning against the door jamb as I try to slink past him but then I feel a hand glide down the small of my back then cheekily across my ass.

“Hey!” I try to tell him indignantly which doesn’t really work when you have a blush creeping across your face “Your window of opportunity is getting smaller don’t forget.”

“It appears that we need each other then.” Joe nods then adds “And quickly.”

“That's what you think!“ I joke because I needed to have some control over this conversation between us.

“Any time you need me.” Joe begins confidently then states “Just call it's your move .”

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Biting my bottom lip trying to hide a smile as I shake my head I hear Joe groan then telling me to go away he closes the door in my face making me echo my laughter down the communal hallway.

Walking home shielding my eyes from the sunshine’s bright rays I end up having to run into a very popular coffee chain store to use their bathroom and throw up because I was a mess of nerves right now.

I really did need to drink less so I could become bolder like the Riley from last night I decide heading back outside to continue my journey home so I could crawl back into my own bed because I felt so exhausted.

When did I decide that there were different versions of me? Sure there are many ways I act around friends and family but surely all of that bundled together made me the awkward and clumsy person I saw every day in the mirror.

It was almost as if my alter ego from last night was too ashamed to see this version of me the hungover loser who was still cowering from the brightness like the opposite of a sparkly vampire.

Hoping that I would enter the apartment to find I was home alone wasn’t to be when I hear noises in the kitchen then seeing Gina’s excited face appearing in the doorway made me realise that I had no chance in hell of escaping to my bedroom now.

Rushing past me from the kitchen into the living room I watch silently as Gina settles herself on one of the couches then looking up at me she pats the empty seat next to her.

“I’m really tired-“

“So did you finally seal the deal with Joe then?” Questions Gina getting right into the thick of it about last night adding “Please tell me it was him who had called you and not Rob!”

“To answer both your questions.” I begin with a smile as I take a seat next to my friend I tell her “No and of course yes.”

“What the hell went wrong?!” Gina groans whilst shaking her head at me filling me up with even more confidence than I already had which was of course none.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now.” I tell her seriously adding “I need to go and sleep for at least a week.”

“Well you do look really bad.” Nods Gina making me roll my eyes at her but then she leans over and drapes an arm around my shoulder to give me what I hoped was a reassuring squeeze.

“I am going sober from now on.” I state making Gina laugh at me which wasn’t the reaction I had been hoping for but she soon stops when she sees my face.

“It will happen soon.” Gina grins at me adding “Joe is worth the wait I bet.”

“Well I did see him last night.” I tell Gina who arches an eyebrow at me.

“And...” Gina nudges me to continue an excited grin reappearing on her face.

“Well sure I straddled Joe-“

“Please tell me that is not another one of your figure of speeches!” Gina cuts in making me laugh.

But before I can actually explain how Joe was the nice guy and put a stop to the fun because the room had been spinning and I’d almost fell off his lap my phone begins to ring and I pray to whomever that it isn’t Rob.

“Hello Riley.” Begins Mrs King.

“Hi Demi.” I give Gina a look then stand up from the couch.

“Sorry to call you on such short notice on a Sunday but I need your help.” Demi tells me then explains that she needs me to go and collect Zoe from her friend’s house for her.

“Luckily I am not busy.” I tell her because the deal was that I didn’t work Sundays and I had such a headache right now I could not cope with Zoe’s excited voice narrating everything we would see whilst we were outside.

“Well you’re a life saver then.” Laughs Demi adding “I am currently out with Lawrence looking at flowers and such in the warehouse over at Eastleigh I have already told Libby’s mum you are coming to get my daughter.”

I hadn’t even agreed to help but it seemed like I had no choice so I tell Demi that I can get to the address she gives me within the hour.

“Can you also give me a little while to get home too?” Demi questions making me roll my eyes but agree regardless.

“Sure.” I state then add “Speak to you soon Demi.”

Well I definitely wasn’t getting any me time any soon I groan turning back round to see Gina shaking her head at me.

“I have to go and pick up the girl I nanny Zoe.” I tell Gina adding “Hope I am getting paid for this.”

“I wanted us to go for lunch at Delaney’s.” Whines Gina who points a finger at me then adds “You better meet me after you've dropped the brat off.”

“I may have to look after her for an hour-“

“You are not getting out of spilling the beans about last night to me that easily!” Gina cuts in with a firm nod making me reward her with a withering look.

“Not much to tell.” I joke because right now I wanted to keep the memory to myself for at least a little while longer like before I needed these moments more than anything.

Rushing into the bathroom to perform the quickest shower in history because I would much rather go now and get this over and done then feigning sickness later so I could get out of lunch with Gina and come back here to crash.

Grabbing my phone and some cash I wave goodbye to Gina who is lucky enough to be lounging on the couch and with one final look I head out hoping that I could get this all finished with quickly.

Watching Zoe wave both her hands madly in the air as we finally stand outside seeing that it had taken me far too long to get out from Libby’s house because her mum was very proud of her daughter and spoke at great length about her.

Meanwhile Zoe and the little girl wonder Libby continued to play like I had nowhere to be shouting at one another whilst squealing loudly making my headache much worse than it already was.

“Come on then Zoe!” I tell her as she turns around almost forgetting that I was even here beside her picking up the bear shaped back pack next to her then finally we set off back into town together.

“Libby is my best friend in the world.” Zoe tells me happily which makes me smile because I recall recently she had fallen out with her friend over some mean girl named Nancy at her school.

On the walk back I get a minute by minute break down of the girl’s sleepover which actually sounded a lot more fun that how my night had panned out to be which was yet another low for me.

“I ate so much ice cream I thought I was going to hurl!” Zoe informs me with a wide grin.

“Ah gross.” I smirk back as the little girl rubs her tummy.

“I’m hungry.” Zoe states yelling loudly.

Just then my phone decides to ring and seeing it was Gina I tell Zoe to come along holding out my hand for her to take and grudgingly she accepts it.

“Where the hell are you? “Gina asks me instead of saying hello “Have you dropped the kid off yet?”

“Not yet.” I tell Gina ready to give the excuse that I wasn’t feeling great so I could head back home.

“I’m hungry!” Zoe shouts again making me look down at her.

“Can you hurry up?” Gina asks “I am sitting outside Delaney’s all alone and bored!”

“I am on my way.” I groan to Gina having no other choice than to bring Zoe along with me because I had to wait around for Demi to come home so I could take her back.

“Let’s go to Delaney’s for lunch!” I tell Zoe who grips onto my hand harder “I can get you some fries and a milkshake?”

“My favourite!” Zoe cheers making me wish that I could be as satisfied the same way by something so simple.

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Gina spots me as I head towards her table taking off the large bug like framed sunglasses from her face so I could see the expression she had on which spoke volumes.

It was universally known that Gina had a dislike for kids she swore that there wasn’t a single nurturing bone in her body which I disagreed with but seeing her face now made me kind of believe her.

“Zoe.” I begin “This is my friend Gina she will be having lunch with us.”

Seeing Gina’s eyebrows raise high up her forehead I give her a warning look as she nods in defeat whilst watching the little girl with her blonde hair in two plaits very warily like at any second she was going to do something bad.

“I’m having fries.” Zoe tells Gina importantly adding “With a chocolate milkshake!”

“Good for you.” Gina nods unenthusiastically.

“Behave you.” I warn Gina in front of Zoe who giggles finding it all very funny.

“Yes sir!” Gina retorts then offering to buy her another drink I head inside the café leaving my friend with Zoe wishing the long queue that I was suddenly stuck in would go fast because I could see this being a terrible idea leaving them both together.

“Chocolate milkshake!” I hear Zoe yells which makes me smirk imagining the look of horror on Gina’s face because like I said she wasn’t fond of hanging out with kids.

Looking around the cafe I allow myself a few moments to daydream whilst waiting in line so I stare at several guys in my peripheral vision checking them out not so subtly wondering if one of them could be my next target.

But that was the last thing on my mind right now because I had no idea how I was going to explain to Gina about last night but I guess Joe had been a gentleman and also letting me crash on his couch was pretty sweet also instead of trying to send me home.

Yet I can’t help but think that if I was in Gina’s shoes she would have done something differently last night instead of sleeping off all the alcohol like I had.

“Next.” Barks a cashier making me realise I was next in line so I place my order quickly paying them soon after whilst secretly hoped to myself that Gina hadn’t lost Zoe and she was still sitting at the table.

Taking my order number and change I rush back outside where I am more than surprised to see the back of Pete’s head as he is leaning down in front of Zoe who I notice is giggling back at him.

Gina meanwhile is all smiles watching Pete talk to Zoe who is nodding her head excitedly and looking up she sees me walking slowly over so she decides to shout out my name.

“Hey.” Pete smiles standing back up he grins at me then asks “How is your head?”

“It’s fine.” I begin warily looking at Gina who is too busy staring at Pete oblivious to me even being back at the table.

“Joe told me you had called him.” Pete states innocently which makes Gina look back at me with a grin because she had no idea about my failed attempt at trying to win over Joe but I guess that was soon about to change.

“Not now.” I warn Pete whose smile widens at the same time as when the food and drinks arrive which was a nice distraction.

“Well I had a lot of fun last night.” Gina begins when the server walks back into the cafe “Also twice this morning as well.”

“Gina!” I snap making Zoe laugh once again she didn’t seem to listen my stern voice much as I tell off Gina for breaking the rules where I told her to fucking behave.

“Colour me jealous.” Pete winks at Gina making me roll my eyes so she was obviously doing this to get to my old college friend and it was apparently working.

I glare at Gina regardless of her motives which makes Zoe point at me and mimic my expression which wasn’t what I had wanted to be the outcome but pretty soon my friend is backtracking whilst Zoe is handing Pete her fries to eat.

“I had lots of ice cream at my sleepover last night.” Zoe tells Pete adding “I ate way more than my best friend Libby!”

“Ah cool!” Pete goes to high five Zoe who hands him another fry instead and he pretends to take it but drops it back onto her plate when she is busy playing with the tomato ketchup bottles.

As Zoe continues to keep Pete busy I swear I see Gina trying to make eyes at him but she performs that look at a lot of guys so I wasn’t surprised to see it.

“So are you alone?” Gina asks Pete who shakes his head and smiling he points behind me.

Turning round I see Joe walking across and I notice that he hasn't got the same cheerful expression he had on earlier before I had left him a few hours ago.

Seeing Pete wave at him I watch as Joe goes inside the cafe then glancing back round I see both Gina and Pete watching me each with an equally suggestive smirk on their faces.

“You’ve pissed him off again haven’t you?” Gina asks me whilst I widen my eyes at her use of swearing and talking about last night in front of Zoe who did appear not to care because she had food.

“No.” Pete begins with a small laugh “That was me I’ve caused the mood in Joe but it was in fact Riley who started it.”

“Been teasing poor Joe again have we?” Asks Gina whilst I ignore her comment or at least try to.

This makes me think that Joe has been speaking to Pete about me and Pete to Gina whilst I was busy ordering food and drink which wasn’t a good sign at all.

My horror is confirmed when Pete winks at me probably sensing my sudden discomfort all the while Gina is licking her bottom lip with a very sexy smile on her face that suggests she knew too much.

Sure I was going to tell her at some point today over lunch or attempt to keep changing the subject so I didn’t have to but Pete explaining my lack of sex life out loud was beyond humiliating.

“Am I missing something truly delicious here?” Gina questions with a laugh.

Pete looks at me wide eyed adding “Gina doesn’t know?”

On cue Gina hits me on the arm demanding that I tell her everything and I look back to see Zoe watching me carefully but she gets distracted as the guy in question Joe appears next to the table.

“I will explain later.” I tell Gina grudgingly.

“It’s hot stuff!” Pete laughs then scoffs at the face I am pulling.

All eyes turn to Zoe as we notice she is talking to Joe whose face transforms into a smile as she speaks to him explaining how much she loves ice cream I think the little girl was obsessed.

“Are you Riley’s boyfriend?” Questions Zoe pulling an icky face at the very thought like it was going to make her hurl.

“Not yet.” Pete mutters coughing loudly afterwards making Gina laugh at him.

“Joe is my friend.” I tell Zoe adding afterwards “Just like Pete.” But not for long I think to myself.

I watch as Joe silently hands Pete a Styrofoam takeaway cup but not without giving him a warning look and when he catches me staring Joe begins to grin at me.

“We watched films all night.” Zoe tugs on Joe’s arm to get his attention again as she continues to talk about all the fun she had last night making him laugh at all the right moments.

“Did you eat lots of popcorn?” Joe asks and Zoe shakes her head.

“Ice cream and fizzy sweets which are my favourite!” Zoe yells happily reminding him.

Just then I hear Gina snigger and noticing that she is listening to whatever Pete is whispering to her this worries me and it must have the same effect on Joe who suddenly tells Pete that they are running late.

“For what?” Questions Pete like it was news to him.

“It’s about time I took you home.” I aim this question at Zoe who gives me a sullen look in return as she glances down at her empty plate that was covered in ketchup.

“What if I stay here with Gina?” Pete grins at Gina who happily accepts the company.

Noticing Joe smirk at me because I must be pulling an annoyed face I roll my eyes as Pete and Gina continue to talk like nobody else is here any more.

“Can Joe walk me home as well?” Zoe asks pulling a sad face in the process which tugs at all the right heart strings because I look at Joe who nods back at me.

“So it is settled.” Pete smiles whilst taking a seat in the chair that Zoe had just jumped down from going to stand next to Joe looking up at him with a big grin on her face.

“Say goodbye to Gina and Pete please.” I ask Zoe who shyly waves at them both then goes back to looking up at Joe just in case he might have gone away.

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

I catch Gina grinning at me just before I begin to walk off with Joe making me wonder how this had happened on my watch.

“I do not trust leaving Gina and Pete alone together.” I tell Joe who is holding Zoe’s hand whilst she guides him along the pavement telling him the way to her house.

“Whatever Pete says we both know the truth about last night.” Shrugs Joe then adds “But I wish you didn’t look so goddamn sexy in that dress.”

“I think someone has sunstroke.” I joke at Joe who rolls his eyes at me.

My green longline vest dress was perfect for this weather but Joe’s words had made me feel self-conscious as I place a hand flat over the front of my stomach.

“Well green suits you.” Joe comments looking me up and down making me shove him playfully to try and stop is eye gawking.

“Hello!” Zoe yells “I am still here!”

Interrupting the moment Zoe ruins the flirting that was taking place to remind us that she was in fact still here which makes me laugh as I see her stern face.

“I don’t want to see you making kisses.” Zoe pokes her tongue out and makes noises at the two of us.

“That will never happen.” I tell Zoe making Joe pull a bunch of pretend sad faces telling me that was how I looked right now.

Finally home I follow Zoe up the front steps as she bangs hard on the door whilst I press the buzzer hoping that Demi was in fact here and not still out.

“Hello.” Greets Demi as she answers the door and Zoe rushes in excitedly all ready to talk to her mum and her brother about her recent adventures.

“How was she?” Questions Demi and I explain how she had lunch at Delaney’s and was very good for me.

“Ah great.” Demi smiles then proceeding to look a little shamefaced says “Sorry I had to call you but you've helped me out a lot.”

“No problem.” I smile then add “But I do really need to get going-“

“So who is the guy behind you?” Demi asks me as I turn around to see Joe outside the house even though I had expressly told him to stay further down the street.

“Oh that’s just my friend Joe.” I tell Demi trying to sound as flippantly as possible but it doesn’t work because my boss gives me an interested nod and a wide smile.

“So he isn’t your boyfriend or anything then?” Asks Demi making me shake my head to end the conversation quickly.

“Introduce me to this friend of yours then.” Demi grins stepping past me and down the steps stopping in front of Joe who looks a little surprised but he hides it well.

“Hello Joe.” Demi introduces herself and Joe tells her it is a pleasure which makes the mum of two begin to giggle.

“He’s a nice guy.” Demi tells me with grin almost as if Joe wasn’t even there which makes me blush.

“Old friend.” I mutter to myself even though I am currently being ignored because Joe was charming the pants of Demi the guy really did have a way with words.

“I better let you two get back to your day.” Demi tells Joe looking back at me with a grin.

“See you tomorrow Zoe!” I yell to the little girl but she is too busy playing with Harley who I hear yell out something but then all I can hear is giggling.

Watching me and Joe walk off I notice Demi wink at me whilst I turn back trying to hide the smile from my face but Joe catches me grinning.

Making our way back to Delaney’s I hope that Pete and Gina were still there just not talking about my love life or severe lack of but the two of them together did make me feel uneasy.

“Your boss is nice.” Joe begins with a smile.

“She is married.” I joke adding “Or do you like the older women?”

“I like all women.” Joe tells me then adds jokingly " And you."

“Everybody likes me.” I begin then change my mind by adding “No, wait everybody is against me right now.”

“I’m team Riley.” Joe jokes making me roll my eyes stating "I'm rooting for you kid!"

“It seemed like it when you was in plain sight of Demi even though I told you to stay away.” I tell Joe with a grim look because I knew I was going to hear a lot more about him from both Demi and Zoe.

“Are you embarrassed of me?” Joe questions trying and failing to look shocked.

“Aw poor Joe!” I laugh as he pushes me away from his side keeping me at arm’s length.

“I don’t think I like you any more!” Joe pouts with a smile.

“Lies.” I joke back standing close to him again “You can never get enough of me.”

“Especially if I get to see you in your underwear again.” Joe closes his eyes with a sexy smirk plastered over his face.

“Stop being a tease.” I order Joe who continues to play around by trying to wind an arm around my waist but I slink out of the way just in time before he tries to grab me.

“I am the innocent party in all this!” Jokes Joe making me roll my eyes.

"That's not what I've heard...” I tell Joe which was the wrong thing to say because his eyebrows rise up suggestively.

“I wouldn't disagree with that.” Joe grins at back at me.

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

But our happiness doesn’t last long because soon I see Pete and Gina still sitting outside the café both of them talking animatedly to one another and our bubble of conversation comes to an end.

“They've returned!” Cheers Pete making me shake my head at him whilst I sneak a glance at Joe who looks pissed off even though a few moments earlier we had been having a laugh together.

“We really need to get going now.” Joe tells Pete with a dark look returning on his face making me believe that the guy blows hot and cold worse than me.

“Enjoyed the chat.” Pete tells Gina with a wink who giggles back at him.

“Any time.” Gina nods then looking back at me adds “I’ve found out a lot.”

“All lies.” Both me and Joe state at the same time making our friends glance back at one another and nod like we had just confirmed some conspiracy theory to them.

Finally Joe manages to drag Pete away from Gina but not without the promise of them meeting again just the pair of them which fills me with dread and causes Joe to hit his friend firmly over the head.

Taking a seat in the chair that Pete had just vacated I watch as Gina stares at me with this huge smile playing on her lips ready for me to speak but I wasn’t going to make it that easy for her.

“I think I better tell you my side of the story.” I state finally breaking the silence between us because Gina had a look on her face which was beginning to make me feel uneasy.

“No need.” Gina brushes off my comment holding up a plastic menu pretending to glance at it.

“I think you-“

“Pete filled me in.” Gina cuts me off adding “It appears guys do like to talk to one another because Joe had told Pete quite a lot of important information.”

“Well that has the opposite effect on me right now.” I retort making Gina laugh at me.

“It also appears that Joe saw a new side to you last night.” Gina winks at me whilst I snatch the menu from her hands.

“Pete really is a chatty Kathy isn’t he?” I dead pan.

“I bet you wouldn't have told me half of what he has!” Gina states making me nod.

“I was drunk last night and I probably made a right idiot out of myself.” I tell Gina who shakes her head at me.

“Well from what I hear.” Gina takes the menu from my hands again placing it down in front of her on the table stating “You made a real impression on Joe.”

This instantly makes me think of Joe in his boxers which makes me smile but Gina catches the look on my face so I decide to quickly wave down a server from nearby so we could finally order.

I listen to Gina talk about Kirk all the while waiting for out food pleased that she has finally changed the subject from me.

Eating my chicken and mayo sub I nod at all the right moment as Gina recounts her night with Kirk and early this morning when they had sex during breakfast which makes me think of Joe inviting me out for food.

“We still ate the pancakes afterwards.” Laughs Gina “But we had used up all the whipped cream so all we had was fresh fruit to go with it.”

“Sounds fun.” I reply trying to hide the sudden jealous tone in my voice but failing terribly.

“Well you know what to do.” Gina points her fork at me then spearing a large tomato from her salad bowl adds “Just be more like the Riley from last night the you who doesn’t over think shit but just goes for it instead.”

“I was so ready to have sex last night.” I confess out loud in the open making Gina drop her fork back into her bowl.

“See!” Gina cheers “You’re not even that hungover any more so the truth is coming out and Joe is going to get such a shock when you are ready to go.”

“I am ready now.” I smirk making Gina raise her bottle of water at me.

“Well I apologise for that terrible double date that I orchestrated but I blame Kirk for that because it had been his idea that he bought Ren with him.” Gina states even looking apologetic for once.

“Ren was a bit of an ass.” I tell Gina who nods in agreement.

“So was Kirk but he kind of made it up to me.” Gina smiles whilst I arch an eyebrow back at her.

“Kirk helped me with his little pep talk.” I joke making Gina laugh.

“Well the guy did look good this morning.” Gina begins then admits “But Kirk is on very thin ice at the moment with me.”

Going silent Gina begins to play with her salad lost in her own thoughts whilst I take my last bite of food then push the plate away from the edge of the table.

“So do you have any other guys in mind then?” I ask Gina breaking the silence between us which makes a smile reappear on her face.

“Always.” Gina grins adding flippantly “The security guy at work is kinda cool.”

“You’ve mentioned him before haven’t you?” I tell Gina in a teasing voice.

“There is also Pete and maybe that Cody guy too.” Continues Gina with a firm nod.

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Gina then proceeds to ask me various questions about both Pete and Cody whilst I try to answer them all as best as I can wondering to myself who was she going to choose next?

But it was very strange that she mentioned the security guard again I had briefly thought when she first spoke about the guy that she liked him because her voice had softened when she talked.

It wasn’t often that Gina went coy over a guy she was usually on top him in more ways than one calling all the shots but I guess even for her it kind of got lonely once in a while.

Back at home finally I leave Gina talking to someone on her phone whilst I head directly to my bedroom to crash not even bothering to close the curtains but instead falling onto the pile of clothes on my bed to promptly falling asleep.

Waking up a few hours later I actually feel refreshed whilst standing in the kitchen pouring myself a large glass of orange juice wondering to myself what I was going to do for the rest of the evening.

Casey calls a little later to invite me over to her place whilst I am mindlessly changing TV channels and I only agree because Gina has gone to meet Kirk and Justin is out with some work friends of his plus I was bored.

Getting Chinese takeaway between us we both sit on the couch in the living room watching a bunch of comedy films to amuse ourselves whilst we eat our own weight in ice cream soon after because neither of us could face alcohol right now.

“It helped me a whole bunch talking to you last night.” Casey tells me openly in between mouthfuls of “Buck's Rocky Roads” ice cream telling me “Me and Justin spoke last night once I came home and we chatted for hours it really helped us both out.”

“Well glad I could help.” I nod at Casey “Sorry I couldn't talk more-“

“You had your own shit to deal with.” Casey smirks at me.

“I take it you've spoken to Gina today then?” I ask causing Casey to laugh nervously which meant a resounding yes.

“Well your poker face is terrible.” I state making Casey roll her eyes at me.

“I hear you were quite the man-eater last night.” Casey informs me.

“Hardly.” I scoff but then admit “Sure I did want to jump Joe’s bones last night but alas it never happened.”

“I bet it will soon.” Casey grins at me.

“All bets are off.” I retort non committedly.

“Well it needs to happen this week.” Casey begins “Not only for the bet but I cannot stand the tension any more you are driving me insane.”

“I have a habit of causing trouble.” I joke.

“Plus you have that shitty engagement party soon.” Casey reminds me even though I had never forgotten adding “I still cannot believe you are going.”

“I need to.” I shrug stating “I will be the better person even if I do end up going alone I will survive.”

“You’re so brave.” Casey informs me even though I don’t feel like it.

“I’m something.” I mutter to myself settling in to watch another movie Casey is putting on whilst dropping the empty ice cream container onto the floor with the spoon.

Hearing my phone ringing wakes me up suddenly as I gasp for air because I had been in a deep sleep and I am briefly unaware of my surroundings because there is only a small shred of light filtering through from the hallway.

Then I remember that I am at Casey’s right now on her couch I must have fallen asleep during the last film that had been on because I was feeling so tired today’s events had all finally caught up with me.

Picking up my phone from the floor because I can see my screen flashing I notice it is Joe calling me and even though it is after midnight a huge smile appears on my face as I lay back down on the couch.

“Hello gorgeous.” Joe tells me as I answer his call.

“I am surprised to see your calling.” I reply sitting back up on the couch because my arm had suddenly gone dead and it makes me groan as I try to get comfortable again.

“Am I interrupting something here?” Questions Joe with a deep chuckle.

“Nothing exciting.” I tell him totally killing the mood between us but I knew that I was no good at this sober I needed a bottle or two of wine stat.

“I bet you’re in some sexy PJ’s watching a late night movie right now.” Joe tells me in one of his sexiest voices never relenting on trying to flirt with me.

“What are you up to?” I ask Joe instead ignoring his question.

“Home alone.” Joe informs me adding “Watching some crap TV but thinking about you hence the phone call.”

“It is a little late you woke me up.” I scold him making Joe laugh down the line.

“Dreaming of Rob and all the other guys you have hidden away causing them all to go stir crazy?” Questions Joe.

“Very funny.” I dead pan adding “I like to drive all the guys wild.”

“You’ve hooked this guy.” Joe tells me making me snort back at him.

Suddenly I wonder if Casey was listening to the conversation between me and Joe making me feel paranoid for a few moments before I tell myself I am just being crazy.

Instead I laugh down the line telling Joe “You are so fucking full of it.” Causing him to chuckle back.

“You do not know the half of it.” Joe begins adding “But right now you are making things pretty uncomfortable for me if you get my meaning.”

Not knowing what to say to that I feel myself begin to freeze up because this was new territory for me and I was already failing at the first hurdle.

“I get your meaning.” I begin awkwardly adding as an afterthought “But I have no idea how I could help you?”

“There are many ways in which you could help me.” Joe states clearly down the line stating “I want to hear you talk dirty Riley.”

“Well maybe I could try and help you?” I reply sounding far from sexy and this is proven because I can hear Joe laughing at me.

I sucked at talking dirty because I had no real experience thanks to past boyfriends and my nerves always got the better of me sure if I was in the mood I could walk the walk but I could not ever talk the talk.

“I think you need to add talking dirty to your little sex list.” Joe tells me breaking into my thoughts because he informs me it is something that he can help me with.

“What is that noise?” I ask Joe hearing movement in the background.

“I’m just getting undressed for a shower.” Joe replies easily “I just wish you was here to help scrub my back.”

This makes me scoff at Joe and tell him “No chance.”

“Something else has come up.” Joe begins “It is big and important if only you was here to help me.”

“Sounds inviting.” I tell Joe attempting to put on my sexiest voice.

“Now that is mean.” Joe groans grumpily “Stop being a tease.”

“Maybe I’ll just a take a rain check then.” I joke adding “Is there actually enough room for two people in your shower?”

“Don’t worry about that.” Joe begins “I would have your legs wrapped around me whilst I had you pushed up against the tiled wall.”

“I don’ like heights.” I joke lamely.

“Your such a dork-“

 

“Bye Joe.” I tell him quickly cutting off whatever he was about to say by calling off before I made yet another idiot out of myself.

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Dropping my phone back onto the floor I groan like a coward because that had been terrible if only I could get to Joe’s like right now and make it up to him prove I wasn’t a dork even though I did wonder a lot of the time.

Hearing a noise like the faint sound of a door opening and closing I look back around into the hallway where the light was on to see a figure lurking in the shadows which makes me scream.

In shock I jump up from the couch just in time to see the light flicker on to reveal a dishevelled looking Justin standing there with his hands in the air looking confused as to why I was in his living room.

“What the hell is happening?” Yells Casey storming into the room to see Justin grinning at her and me standing by the couch clutching onto my chest because Justin had scared the shit out of me.

“More to the point.” Justin points a finger at me then asks “Who were you talking to on the phone in the dark?”

Casey gives me a look whilst I try to think of a decent explanation rather than tell my friends that Joe had called to hear me try and talk dirty when in fact I sounded like an absolute idiot instead.

“Having a late night conversation with somebody were we?” Casey questions with a grin.

“Well whoever it was.” Justin tells his girlfriend “Riley was using one heck of a sexy voice even though she did sound a little nerdy.”

Just how long had Justin been hiding in the shadows for and how much had he actually heard?

“Omg!” Screams Casey making Justin cover his hands over his ears in protest to her loud voice.

“It isn’t who you think-“

“It is.” Justin winks at me stating “I heard you end the call by saying goodbye Joe.”

“Ok let’s hear it then.” Casey smirks adding “Talk sexy to me.”

Whatever I try to say comes out in a squeak which makes everybody laugh until Justin starts making drunken eyes at his girlfriend and we all go back to our respective beds slash couch.

“We will try and be quiet.” Justin calls down the hallway followed by giggles, the heavy slamming of a bedroom door and then muffled voices.

All I needed to do was go back to sleep so I could forget about this latest embarrassment and then carry on tomorrow like nothing had happened and I’d possibly just dreamed that Joe had called me.

But I find that I cannot seek solace back in the land of nod right now because all I can hear is Joe’s words replaying in my head and distant laughing from Casey and Justin’s room which wasn’t something I wanted to think about.

Even though it really wasn’t fair because if Joe actually lived nearby Casey’s then I would have raced round there in a shot just to see if Joe himself was all talk or if in fact he was god's gift like how everybody else saw him.

Whilst I try to keep my eyes shut so I can relax and not feel so worked up I end up thinking about college a topic which had etched it way slowly back to the forefront of my mind in recent months.

Surprisingly I had been way more confident back then or was it naïve I could never tell even though I was still a little shy especially if I was teased but I had gotten a lot of guys attention back then just not the right guy.

Who at the time I had thought that title belonged to Hunter but now I see it was Joe who could have helped me with so many things and in turn we could have helped each other out a tonne.

Not that Joe didn’t have girls after him because Pete would always try to help him hook up causing Joe to turn beetroot red and not have a single clue what to do with the opposite sex unlike now.

Both Pete and Joe had told me to stay away from Hunter but I had used many guys to try and get to him but the end results had all been the same until that night at the party which makes me open my eyes at the memory.

Outside of college I have had a few relationships but I obviously sucked at them because here I was on my friends couch tormenting myself over Joe of all people stupidly relishing in my own personal woes.

I really did need to find the goddess I was last night past all the drunken haze maybe Joe had seen her before in college because that night I had been so ready and I was more than surprised to find myself wrapped around Joe instead of Hunter.

Briefly picturing the scene in my mind I try to remember how Joe’s body had felt comparing it to mental images I had of him now from recent failed encounters but this only makes me sigh in frustration and thump the side of the couch with my right fist because this was idiotic.

I just needed to learn how to relax in front of Joe not over think anything like usual but act confident because we did have a laugh earlier in the day taking Zoe home the flirting had kinda been on point and I had deeply enjoyed it.

The only thing I needed to remember I tell myself as I close my eyes once more is that not to get too attached this was just Joe helping a friend out not him coming to save me any time soon like I needed any help even though I was a total train wreck.


	21. Shake it off

Monday arrives and disappears in a blur thanks to a whole day spent doing absolutely nothing which was something I had needed thanks to an overwhelming weekend which had not been planned or welcomed.

That was the line I told myself because I still did not know how to feel with regards to Joe because whenever he appeared in my mind I became a bit of a mess thanks to my overactive imagination.

The reason for all my free time spent thinking about my old college friend? 

Poor Zoe was currently ill thanks to all the junk food she had spent devouring at her friend’s house so she had stayed home from school and Demi had rung me to explain that she would take Harley in so I had a day off.

Even better I was going to get paid for both yesterday and today which was a nice bonus as Demi had explained how thankful she was that I could help her yesterday because her husband had been too busy apparently.

Not getting involved I just agreed with whatever my boss had been telling me seeing that I wanted to stay in Demi’s good books because I still didn’t have an opinion on the King family just yet.

The next day Zoe is feeling a lot better and hasn’t paused for breath since we left their house heading towards the park to enjoy the late afternoon sunshine and get some fresh air.

“Do you like Joe or Pete best?” Questions Zoe looking up at me with a smile.

“They are my friends.” I smirk back at the little girl adding “I like them both.”

“But you cannot have two boyfriends!” Zoe laughs back “That is being greedy.”

“Like you was on Sunday?” I question attempting to change the subject.

“But I love ice cream!” Giggles Zoe loudly.

“Can we stop talking about your boyfriends?” Harley asks making sick noises pretending to lose the contents of his stomach all over the pavement.

“They are not my-“

“Robosaur doesn’t like you anymore.” States Harley cutting me off with a firm nod of his head.

“He will if I buy him some chocolate.” I tell the boy making him laugh at me.

“Dinosaurs can’t eat chocolate!” Harley informs me then adds “They will get a bad tummy!”

Walking across the street we head past the large gate into the park where as suspected it was very busy and I prayed that the kids wouldn’t play me up and run away again which was something I didn’t need.

Watching both Zoe and Harley as they run a head of me we stop near the playground where I drop my bag onto the green grass and the kids come and stand next to me.

“Fancy doing some drawing?” I question and smile as both children nod back at me.

“What do we have to draw?” Asks Harley.

“Whatever you see.” I tell them both adding “Focus on something, the first thing that catches your eye and just draw it.”

The kids take to this challenge as I hand them pads, colouring pencils and a bar of chocolate each I knew they would soon be wearing all over their faces.

Waking up with a smile on my face this morning possibly thanks to a dream I had involving a certain bartender I enjoy looking around the park deciding that life wasn’t so bad after all I just had shit luck with guys.

But that needed to change I was the one in the driver’s seat I needed to stop letting assholes take over my life and fill my mind with crap making me over think everything and just be the disaster everybody knew and loved.

Stretching my legs out in front of me I am surprised when suddenly a dog appears near us making both Harley and Zoe giggle at me whilst the Labrador begins to lick my face and I let it sit in my lap because I loved dogs.

“Aww cute puppy!” Zoe cheers dropping her pencils she had been holding in her hand coming to sit closer by my side just as the dog leaps off my lap and a pair of feet appear in front of me.

Looking up I see a familiar face in the form of Logan the guy who I had exchanged numbers with when I had bumped into my ex and revelled in the look he had rewarded me because I had looked awesome at the time obviously. 

....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

“Hey there.” Logan smiles at both Harley and Zoe who are more interested in the dog who in turn has discovered something in the grass so he runs off a little way away.

“Hi.” I grin back feeling all kinds of awkward because the kids were with me hoping that he wouldn’t mention me not calling him.

“Did someone lose their phone?” Begins Logan winking at me as I curse internally at my continued bad luck in the matter of the opposite sex.

“Do you have another boyfriend?” Questions Zoe in between biting the end of an orange coloured pencil until Harley snatches it away from her so he can use it looking completely bored with what was happening.

“Er no Zoe!” I smile at Logan apologetically remembering how friendly he had looked when I’d first met him and agreeing now that he still looked good on the eyes.

“So are you busy tonight?” Questions Logan as I notice his eyes skim over the two children next to me making me wonder suddenly if he had completely the wrong idea about me.

“I am a nanny.” I blurt in reply making Logan give me a funny look and even the kids I look after glance up from their drawings.

“That’s cool.” Logan nods recovering from my strange answer “I only asked because I live nearby the park-“

“I am free!” I cut him off with a smile because another date would be good and I felt the need to move this conversation along because trying to flirt with the kids present was quite awful.

“Good.” Logan nods back at me but not without adding “I don’t like being stood up twice.”

When did I stand him up the first time? Oh wait when I never called him well the dude could of called me first but that wasn’t the point right now the guy in front of me was being cute and it suited him kind of.

I guess it would be good practice before I finally found someone to do the sex list with or someone just to have good sex with who wasn’t cocky and such a huge flirt like someone I already knew.

“Look at the ship I’ve drawn.” Harley waves his paper pad in the air at Logan breaking me from my thoughts as I see the guy in question smile and lean down.

“That is so cool!” Logan grins back at Harley who nodding in agreement continues to colour in the large ship he has drawn complete with what looked like huge cannons and large sails.

Not sure where Harley was seeing a giant ship in the park but it was fun to see his imagination was getting a work out instead of having to draw sunflowers which had bored the kids to no end.

“I better go and fetch my dog.” Logan smiles at me pointing over towards the Labrador which was trying to ruin what looked like a couple having a picnic together.

“See you tonight then.” I smile back as Logan tells me the street he lives on and I grab a pencil from Zoe’s mouth to write it down on the back of her pad as she tries to snatch it back off me.

“Hey!” Zoe pouts taking the pad back and the green pencil as I smirk up at Logan watching him turn round telling myself this could be really good.

Back at the Kings house I am sitting there in a daze at the kitchen island watching the kids eat large strawberries getting covered in sticky red juice clearly enjoying the snack Demi had prepared for them.

“Zoe has told me a lot about your two boyfriends.” Demi smiles at me as I give Zoe a look making her giggle as I roll my eyes.

“Has she now?” I question then add “Well they are both just old friends of mine.”

“Riley likes boys.” Zoe nods firmly shaking her head in the affirmative just as Harley resumes making those sick noises whilst he still eats his fruit.

“You will one day too.” Demi smiles at her daughter who gives her mum an incredulous look in return.

Before I can interject and inform Zoe that liking boys or even girls wasn’t the be all and end all of becoming an adult I watch as Demi looks funnily at her mobile phone as it rings and I recognise that face anywhere.

On the third attempt at calling the mobile Demi grabs it from the side and answers it walking out from the kitchen and I swear I hear her say “ Not now Lawrence.” before she goes out of view but I could have just imagined it.

Not dwelling on that thought I quickly say goodbye to everyone then heading out the door I rush home to get ready for tonight briefly putting Rob and even Joe to the back of my mind for a while.

Perfect coincidence that nobody was at the apartment this evening so I could get changed in peace because I didn’t need Gina or Casey giving me the third degree over Joe for the millionth time.

.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Heading over to Logan’s I decided to wear my trusty denim shorts which were ripped at the bottom and smothered in old paint but they were so comfortable teaming it with a black vest and a pair of flip flops I was ready.

Sure my outfit was more relaxed than it should be for a date but I wasn’t in the mood to dress up only to have something go wrong because that was the how these things normally played out for me.

Trying to think positively about this experience I continue across the park until I reach Logan’s street shivering suddenly in either anticipation or dread I was unsure.

Pressing the buzzer next to his door I jump when not even a second passes and Logan’s face appears and he smiles at me eagerly as I notice he is shirtless flicking some of his brown messy hair out from his eyes.

“Come in!” Logan grins at me as I walk inside his apartment thinking that it was very dark until I realise it was dimly lit with candles all the lights switched off.

Sure it was still light out in the early evening but I feel my mouth drop open as I walk into the living room which had every available surface covered in tall white candles all lit setting a romantic scene.

“Ouch, shit.” I curse as I proceed to walk into the coffee table knocking below my knee because despite the candles it was still pretty dark and I currently felt anything but romantic.

“Want me to kiss that better for you?” Questions Logan as I turn around noticing that he was wearing what looked like soft cotton white trousers and he had large tattoos on both of his upper arms but I couldn’t make them out.

“I’m good.” I smile back at Logan who without missing a beat asks me if I want a beer and nodding he heads back out of the room whilst I turn round and check out where I am standing.

It is very minimal with a wicker futon in the centre of the room, a small television to the right and a large side board to the left which had lots of incense sticks, dragon figurines also pretty crystals shining back at me.

“I made vegetable lasagna for dinner.” Logan tells me yet again making me jump but this time I felt caught out because I had been being nosy looking at his stuff.

“Nice.” I smile back as Logan hands me a beer and I accept it until I notice it is non-alcoholic but that didn’t matter because I did need to lay off the juice for a while.

“So how long have you been a nanny for?” Logan questions as he heads back into the kitchen and I decide to follow him.

“Only a few weeks.” I admit then add “I had to leave my old job and so I decided to try being a nanny again seeing that I had done it before and really enjoyed it.”

“I love being a trainee vet.” Logan states with an enthusiastic nod “Hanging out and looking after animals all day I love being close to them.”

Not knowing what to say to that I don’t have to think that hard because Logan continues to speak “I love nature too! I grow and even source all of my own vegetables and clothes from the internet it is great to not shop in town because they are damaging the planet.”

I have done it yet again made a bad choice I decide even though I shouldn’t judge people by what they say but Logan sounded like an idiot right now and someone who I couldn’t take seriously.

“But isn’t it really expensive buying food online all the time there are some really cool local shops and we have the market-“

“Overpriced rubbish they sell there!” Scoffs Logan as I begin to wind my date up by questioning his cause which is rewarded by some very strongly worded rebuffs that make fuck all sense.

“All this talk about saving the planet and fresh food is making me hungry.” I deadpan because for once I didn’t feel nervous about a date this was still ridiculous and I was in a wind up mood right now too.

“Nice to hear you are as passionate about food like me.” States Logan with a grin in my direction.

“Oh sure! I adore food can’t you tell?” I question turning round with my hands on my hips so Logan could see all my curves that I blamed my love of chocolate on.

“Well I approve.” Logan nods at me when I sit back at the kitchen bar on my stool as he adds “I like women with a little extra on them.”

This comment irks me throughout our meal even though the lasagna is delicious but I tell myself I am overreacting once again over something moot so I accept another drink from Logan as he clears the table.

“You were a little quiet for a while there.” Logan tells me “Hope I didn’t bore you with my stories about work I just love it there.”

“Oh no!” I grin at Logan thinking the total opposite “It sounds like a lot of hard work being a trainee vet-“

“Soon to be vet.” Logan states cutting me off then going on some long commentary about how much he has studied and it is all about to pay off.

“Do you have anything a little stronger?” I question waving the empty bottle of non-alcoholic beer at Logan who shakes his head rewarding me with a sour look.

“I don’t drink.” Logan shrugs at me “It can ruin your chakras blur them out of focus which is something I do not need my body is my temple and I listen to its sweet voice.”

Fucking hell what have I done? I have never heard something so crazy in my life someone who doesn’t drink but has non-alcoholic beer what is the point in that.

“I’m good then.” I roll my eyes as Logan stands from his seat and I follow suit hearing my phone buzz in the pocket of my shorts resisting the urge to glance at it and somehow make my escape.

“Let’s head into the living room together.” Logan takes my right arm gently guiding me back into the room with all the candles which were surely a fire hazard.

....................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Sitting on the floor Logan tugs at the bottom of my shorts and I join him on the soft orange carpet with a smile making me fear he was about to talk about his job again but instead he turns on the TV.

We sit like this watching the box for what feels like hours and it really is until Logan begins to edge closer to me almost to the point of him practically sitting on my lap

“I am really enjoying this evening.” Logan informs me then adds “But things are about to heat up.”

Resisting the urge to joke about the now half lit candles I watch as Logan stands from the floor then holding out his hand I accept it as he helps me to my feet and we collapse together on the wicker futon which was as uncomfortable as it sounded.

“Are you ready for this journey?” Questions Logan still holding my right hand with a very serious expression on his face which does nothing for my libido which had a mind of its own anyway.

“Er sure.” I reply trying to take my hand away from his but he had quite a firm grip on it.

“It’s all about you right now and showing you all the colours of the rainbow as we enjoy this experience together.” Logan states brushing some hair away from my face whilst I get a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach and it has nothing to do with lust or longing.

“Of course.” I smile at Logan suddenly resisting the overwhelming urge to laugh covering my hand over my mouth ignoring the bubble of giggles that were about to escape my mouth.

Logan hasn’t noticed the tick that I have developed as he leans forward stroking the back of my neck telling me all the things he was going to do to me and they sounded pretty boring to be honest.

“Tantric sex is like riding a wave anticipating the slow build up enjoying the buzz coursing through your body letting hours pass you by as you sync your body to mine and we ride it out together.” Logan tells me with a wide smile on his face as he goes in to kiss me but I burst out laughing instead.

It was almost as if all the anxiety I have felt recently ever since being dumped by Will and having to restart my life over whilst experiencing that moment again and again like it was my Groundhog Day had finally found a way of being released at a very awkward moment.

“That wasn’t the response I was hoping for.” Logan informs me moving away from the futon like I had just deeply insulted him.

“I’m sorry I can’t help it-“ I begin then more laughter follows which felt really good like I was evolving into a whole new person or just finally learning that deep down this was the real me and I was stuck with her.

“Well I am sorry I have to say this but you are being really childish right now.” Retorts Logan moving away from me as if my laughter was contagious that he was afraid of catching it.

Finally I could see like my eyes had been uncovered from all the shit and I had every right to both be happy and seal my own destiny because being here right now wasn’t going to achieve that no matter what Logan was calling me.

“I think you need to go.” Logan shakes his head at me as I wipe away tears from my eyes as the laughter finally subsides and I nod at my date this really was one for the books.

Watching Logan step closer to the side table I had been looking at earlier I see him knock several lit candles onto the orange carpet floor then he proceeds to swear very loudly as he grabs at a few of the cushions from the futon to put out the smoke that was appearing.

“That was your fault!” Logan points a finger at me which makes me stop giggling adding “I could have rocked your world but you’ve ruined it I won’t ever give you another chance.”

“Poor me.” I state whilst shrugging my shoulders then turning round I head into the kitchen to grab my bag then get the hell out of here because I had an epiphany to explore and places to be.

“I feel sorry for you.” Logan tells me “But missing out on me is like the worst thing you will ever do.”

“I think I will get over it.” I explain “We are two different people and right now you are the crazy one.”

“You will never experience better sex than with me!” Logan yells as I let myself out of his apartment because things were getting intense and I could feel my giggles wanting to make a reappearance.

“I will survive!” I shout back then state almost more to myself than anything “Whoever is going to have sex with me next will not know what has hit him especially when they see the sex list I have written out.”

“The what-“

“Bye Logan!” I shout but not without adding “You loser.”

.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Back outside with the beautiful deep purple sky above me I decided there and then it was no real loss walking away from Logan he obviously had just one thing on his mind like all the other guys I had met.

Not that sex wasn’t on the table but I realized now that to get this goddess into your bed you had to work for it and abide by the rules because if you didn’t then you had no chance of getting with me.

How dare I think that it was me causing all these problems I had with the opposite sex seeing that if truth be told it was in fact the guys I had met over recent months causing the major headaches.

But it didn’t have to be that difficult I decide walking through the park taking a well-worn route across the path reminding myself that I held all the cards and it was about time I used them properly.

Logan had been a mistake I clearly see that now alongside all the other guys like Rob, George and even Will my long term boyfriend who was off playing happy families with someone else but I wished him well.

He was on his journey and I had one already based around a well thought out plan but I was too much of a chicken to approach the idea yet I see now that it really is now or never and I needed to leave my comfort zone far behind me.

Almost as if going round to Logan’s place had been the final straw I decide that I needed to talk to somebody who would agree with my own good advice and not just scream into my ear like Gina and Casey totally would.

I had a cunning plan which should have been executed the first moment I had realised who the bartender at Upside Down really was but now was also a good a time as any to get my life into some kind of order.

The only problem was who the hell could I tell this revelation to because I was well aware that all of my friends and especially my aunt Lilly would just want to shake me when I told them that I agreed with that they have said all along.

Plus Joe was more than ready to join me in the bedroom not exactly to just tease me but to guide me even though a small shadow of doubt kept appearing in my mind as I walked along the street the very next day still riding out my glorious high having slept wonderfully for once.

But what if Joe said no?

Then I would reach that hurdle I guess once I came to it but until then I needed some confirmation that this was still all a good idea to explore my sex list with an old college friend whilst still trying to meet someone.

I knew that Joe wasn’t the one for me I think I had missed that window a long time ago but he was here now supposedly wanting to help me and I was all for it.

Deciding to grab a coffee I take off my sunglasses and head into Bean Town a coffee chain which sold not terrible coffee and it was somewhere I could ponder all my problems in alone.

I hadn’t seen Gina this morning so I had no one to talk to about last night besides the bathroom mirror and seeing my reflection didn’t have a lot to say on the matter I was in need of some guidance around about now.

Just a small nod from someone to confirm that I wasn’t entirely mad and that what Joe kept telling me was true it was just sex in the grand scheme of things there didn’t need to be any labels involved or attachments for that matter.

Grabbing a large strong coffee I find an empty seat near the large open windows so I could spy on the world outside maybe getting an answer to my question with the help from a perfect stranger.

Nursing the drink I continue to let my thoughts overtake everything else as I have ignored my phone all morning placing it as deep down as I could in my large blue tote bag away from my own prying hands.

It was almost as if I believed the phone to be an actual part of me I was sure I had a problem because holding it in your hands as you went everywhere being too afraid to walk away from it now that was an obsession.

That has been me for a while now and seeing that Rob still kept on messaging me and I wasn’t in the mood to flirt right now I had some serious things to think out even though it was hard work doing it alone.

................................................................................................................................................................................................................

“Are you a parking ticket?” A male voice asks making me look away from the window to see a tall guy with messily styled dark brown hair and a huge grin plastered across his face like he was very happy to see me but I had no idea who he was.

“Because you have fine written all over you!” The guy I realise now had just delivered a terrible chat up line in my direction but his efforts put a small smile on my face regardless.

“Thanks.” I nod hoping that the guy will move along leaving me to resume my viewing of watching people pass me by going about their own business dealing with their own lives.

“That is the best I’ve got.” The guy explains pulling up a seat sitting down opposite me which was the last thing I needed right now.

“Look I’m flattered but-“

“Woah! Wrong friend.” The guy laughs cutting me off he then adds “Obviously my chat up lines do not work on you because you are under the spell of my good friend Joe Trohman who by the way is very in demand these days if you catch my meaning.”

“Is this some kind of joke?” I question wondering who the hell this guy in front of me was as I looked around the coffee house just in case either Pete or Joe appeared and this was indeed some kind of joke yet again at my expense.

“Oh we haven’t properly met yet have we?” The guy slaps his forehead hard with his right hand then he extends it towards me and I find myself shaking it.

“I’m Brendon and you still look confused.” Brendon smirks at me as I still try to piece together who this guy was and how did he know Pete and Joe.  
“  
You look kind of familiar?” I question as I watch Brendon lean back in the seat opposite me still smirking like he was enjoying a punchline to a joke he was just about to tell me.

“I’m insulted!” Brendon shakes his head at me then continues “But I was drunk at the time and I very rarely remember much the next day after a night out anyway.”

“Amen to that.” I joke as Brendon high fives me and I accept it.

“Well Pete tells me a lot about you.” Brendon moves the conversation along to shakier ground.

“Never listen to Pete.” I snort very unattractively.

“But the guy speaks the gospel truth!” Brendon states whilst laughing at the face I pull at him.

“Ah so you only listen to Joe?” Questions Brendon nodding his head at me as if it all made sense to him now.

“How do you know Pete and Joe then?” I reply back because I still hadn’t a clue who this guy was in front of me interfering with my thinking time which wasn’t going to plan.

“I know those guys from a few years back when I used to work with Pete in a coffee place not much different to here and Joe was just a guy all the ladies were after.” Brendon winks at me.

“Did the guy himself make you say that?” I joke.

“It’s the truth.” Brendon nods then adds “Joe is a good guy.”

“Oh please.” I retort “He is as bad as the rest of you and if all the rumours are true then Joe is even worse.”

“Jealous much?” Questions Brendon with a chuckle.

Then I realise where I had seen Brendon before it was at his place in the driveway where Pete had driven me back to alongside Joe who was acting all cocky because I couldn’t stay away from him for very long.

“You had the barbecue.” I point at Brendon who nods his head “Pete tried to get you away from the car so I could talk with Joe.”

“Just to talk?” Asks Brendon with a grin.

“Yes.” I begin then regretfully add “But things might soon change.”

“Oh really.” Brendon raises an eyebrow then asks “So what’s your plan?”

This was it I finally had someone to talk to in the form of a complete stranger who knew both Pete and Joe well but that was just a minor issue.

“Do you really want to know?” I question wondering if Brendon knew more than what he was actually letting on but I guess he would pretty soon regardless.

“Shoot.” Brendon smiles back at me adding “You look like you need to bend someone’s ear.”

“Have you got all day?” I retort whilst picking up and replacing my coffee mug several times onto the white plastic table.

“Tell Uncle Brendon all about it.” The man himself states moving his seat closer towards me so he could hear every sordid detail.

As soon as I begin to talk mentioning my ex Will, the brief encounters I have had over the several months and of course Joe I find it very easy to vent and quite soon I am at the juiciest part of the story.

“A sex list?” Brendon questions for at least the fifth time ever since I had mentioned it to him.

“Yes!” I smile then state “It is about time I finally have some fun and with the help of that list I am sure to achieve just that.” 

Brendon nods with a wide grin on his face so I decide to show him the actual list because I had been recently begun carrying it in my purse all folded up and ready for action so to speak.

“So this is it?” Brendon takes the paper from my hand unfolding the sheet to reveal the list and I watch as he reads it to himself not out loud thank god.

“Yep all written and ready to go!” I joke with a smile on my face feeling a lot better for confining in this guy sitting opposite me I just hoped it didn’t come back and bite me in the ass.

“This is good.” Brendon tells me placing the list in front of him on the table adding “I bet even Joe hasn’t heard of half of these positions.” 

“And he makes out that he is such a lothario.” I joke feeling nervous all of a sudden the giggles from earlier all gone.

“Oh the guy is.” Brendon nods then states “He’s been waiting so long for an opportunity like this with you.”

“Like what?” I question noticing the look on Brendon’s face as he hastily begins to backtrack what he had just said.

“Oh I just mean he likes a challenge!” Brendon chuckles adding “From what I’ve heard you haven't been making it easy for the guy.”

“I wouldn’t want to make it too easy for Joe.” I laugh wondering who I was really trying to convince here because if the guy himself was to appear in front of me now I would have him on this very table.

Both my libido and daydreams were going into overdrive right now thinking about having sex with Joe and all the possibilities that it would unlock gaining both experience and confidence which one needed when single knowing full well that Logan could not have filled that position.

“So you want to ask Joe if-“

“If he can help a friend out sure.” I cut into whatever Brendon was about to say feeling that maybe I shouldn’t have opened up this much to one of his friends but I guess it was too late now to deny any of it.

“Joe is going to be so happy.” Brendon wipes away an imaginary tear whilst I roll my eyes back at him.

“If he says yes-“

“The dude will do whatever you ask him.” Brendon cuts in stopping me from what I was about to say by revealing a truth bomb.

“I don’t think it will be as easy as you suggest.” I tell Brendon reminding myself about the bet but I guess I had something even better to offer on the table than just one night of no strings sex.

“Seriously, fuck!” Brendon swears then casually informs me “Sure the guy has had a few women recently but it is all about you Riley.”

“Well whatever Joe has been up to is no concern of mine.” I begin trying not to process what Brendon had just said to me.

“You just need him purely for sex.” Brendon elaborates making me laugh some of my sudden nerves away.

“Purely so he can help with the sex list and put his good uses that he is always going on about to some good use!” I state hoping all this still made sense.

“Well I’m sold.” Brendon nods at me then adds “You will have Joe eating out the palm of your hand!”

“That’s the initial plan.” I laugh awkwardly feeling a little shy all of a sudden after revealing my true intentions to one of Joe’s friends.

“See it is good to talk these things through.” Brendon tells me picking up the list from the table stating “Because now I can really tease Joe.”

“You cannot tell him!” I shout at Brendon knocking the coffee mug making half of its contents spill out as I point a finger at the guy who was holding all the cards right now feeling very helpless as I watched him taunt me.

“Can I be there when you do?” Questions Brendon moving my nearly empty coffee mug away from arms reach just in case I knocked the rest of it over him because the table was a sea of coffee right now.

“That would be such a bad idea.” I tell Brendon placing some napkins over the spill whilst he pouts at me.

“I guess it would.” Nods Brendon “Seeing how after you ask him I can imagine you wanting to drag him to the nearest bathroom stall.”

“Very funny.” I dead pan not entirely ignoring the idea right away because we needed to know pretty soon if we were even compatible but I didn’t want to dwell on that thought right now.

“Well on that note.” Brendon begins whilst he stands to his feet “I will leave you alone with your fantasy and not wish you luck because you don’t need it!”

Fist bumping Brendon he then leans down and envelopes me into a hug “Go get your man!” He tells me.

“He isn’t mine to-“

“Keep telling yourself that.” Brendon cuts in then with a wink I watch as he walks out of the coffee house straight into a tall brunette almost as if he perfectly timed it and I shake my head in wonder as I watch him grin at her.

..............................................................................................................................................................................................................

So, that was that I couldn’t take it back now not a single word because I had confided in Brendon with a secret that in the wrong hands could totally ruin my chances of hooking up with Joe but those were the breaks.

I could rarely tell when Joe was joking or he was deadly serious about something because his mood changed so rapidly sometimes (usually when either I or Pete were around) that I still didn’t have a full read on the guy.

Receiving a call from Casey which I welcome later in the day I agree to go along with herself and Justin to help chose a dog that they want to adopt from a local shelter.

I desperately wanted to tell Casey about my delayed epiphany that had hit me hard and fast upsetting Logan who had at least wanted to try and rock my world but ended up doing the total opposite.

With the sun still shining I walk to the bus station in town to catch a bus to meet my friends hopefully the couple were in good spirits because what Casey had told me about their relationship still played on my mind.

I just wanted Casey to be happy and know that she could talk to me whenever she needed because even though I never listened to my own advice I loved to see my friends enjoying their lives.

Four stops later I reach my destination walking down Lee Street towards the “Greendale Animal Shelter” knowing that Casey and Justin would be there waiting for me.

I was always late for everything I balanced time keeping imperfectly so everyone was used to waiting for me if I did arrive early on the off chance then something was bound to go wrong I never have been that lucky.

“Look who it is!” Justin cheers sarcastically as I reach the couple by the front gates of the shelter which was tall and imposing making me hope that coming here didn’t upset my mood any further.

“On time as usual.” Casey jokes with a wide grin on her face.

“I’m here aren’t I?” I retort back whilst rolling my eyes.

“I cannot wait to choose a new family member!” Casey states grabbing onto Justin’s arm as she tugs him along and we make our way inside the shelter.

Several hours later I wipe a happy tear from my eye as I give Clive a handsome looking honey coloured mutt an affectionate pat on the head and watch with the others as he goes back to his temporary home.

In a couple of days Clive will have a whole new family and I for one am looking forward to going out for walks with Casey and the little guy because he is so cute and has distracted me enough to put a smile on my face.

“This feels good.” Justin hugs Casey which makes me batter my eyes at my friends because they were being so cute.

“It is awesome!” I cheer then add “A new member of your little family it is adorable.”

“Don’t!” Casey waves a hand at me looking like she was about to cry informing me “I will cry otherwise!”

Leaving the couple to go shopping for Clive I tell them that I need to head off to work to collect Zoe so I wait for the bus to bring me back into town and I could get on with the rest of the day.

Needing to relax at some point was high up on my agenda so I was looking forward to a relaxing shower later then spending the night filling up on wine and chocolate which sounded like a great plan to me.


	22. Say My Name

It wasn’t the best idea of mine to meet my friends for a chat at a noisy bar but thankfully getting a side booth at Barton’s meant that we would be able to just about hear one another.

Ever since my terrible date with Logan which was followed by the best epiphany of all time I hadn’t spoken to my friends for a few days so I had a lot to tell them I really needed to vent.

Checking my phone I see I have nothing from either Joe or Rob who both have been flirting with me through messages and I held my breath every time just in case the bartender mentioned the sex list.

Of course Joe has heard of its existence many times courtesy of my friends but once I had left the coffee house after speaking to Brendon my high had eventually taken a huge nose dive resulting in major paranoia.

What if Brendon told Joe of my intentions? 

Sure I doubted he would mind but would he rather hear me ask him than his friend who I knew would just blow it right out of proportion.

“Hey bitch!” I hear Gina cheer as she sits next to me in the booth motioning to the bar where Casey was at least three people deep waiting to be served.

“Long time no speak.” I joke because I had missed Gina for several mornings either she was heading to work or spending the night with Kirk I presume who was becoming a familiar fixture in her life.

“So what gives you the right to call a group meeting?” Gina questions with a grin because usually this was her job within the group.

“I have news.” I explain with a shrug not wanting to give much away right this second having to repeat myself for Casey’s benefit wasn’t on the cards.

“Did you and Joe-“

“No.” I roll my eyes knowing fulling well where my friend was going with her line of questioning.

“I think I am going to stop asking soon.” Gina grins at me “It is getting so old.”

“He is my back up.” I retort with a small smile.

“I feel so sorry for Joe.” Gina shakes her head at me then tries and fails to hide a huge smirk on her face.

“Beers!” Casey yells placing three bottles heavily onto the table almost dropping one of them in the process.

“Don’t feel sorry for him.” I dead pan picking up the beer nearest to me “Joe can look after himself.” 

“I am sure he can.” Casey pipes up “But there are always times when you need a hand.”

“I think Joe would appreciate it.” Gina laughs at my face I pull.

“Anyway.” I begin “I am not here to talk about Joe I have some other important news.”

“Do tell.” Casey leans forward over the table looking eager to hear what I had to say.

“Well I have finally seen the light.” I inform my friends who look at each other like I have finally lost the plot.

“You haven’t been converted or something?” Questions Gina.

“I had an epiphany the other day and it was all because of a sexual encounter which had gone very wrong.” I tell my friends with a smile.

“Was it Joe-“

“No his name was Logan.” I begin cutting off whatever Gina was going to say then I tell my friends the story about meeting Logan again in the park and him inviting me to his apartment for a date.

“Did he have like zero fuckability?” Questions Casey and I nod back at her because once I had seen what a tool he was then in my eyes he looked like a right douchebag.

“So what was it he wanted to do?” Asks Gina then adds with a giggle “Did he ask you to do something that wasn’t on your list?”

“Worse than that.” I dead pan “He was all about tantric sex comparing what was about to happen to rainbows and journeys with unicorns or something it was very off putting.”

“So did you just tell him no thanks and go on your merry way?” Ask Gina excitedly.

“Er, I laughed in the guys face.” I tell my friends recapping how I had felt when I began giggling leading to full on laughter like all my cares just flew away in that moment but I don’t mention how it didn’t last long.

“So you are finally going to ask Joe to have sex with you then?” Questions Casey.

“Not ask.” Gina shakes her head “Just get down to it with him lure the guy in with promise of the list.”

“Sure.” I explain to them both with a definite nod “I should have asked him outright all this flirting between us has to lead to something doesn’t it?”

“Oh Riley.” Gina smirks at me as I give her a look back seeing that wasn’t the reply I was expecting.

“You have only found this out now?” Questions Casey shaking her head.

“Guys I am a slow learner.” I joke “But now I am ready.”

“I think we need more beers right now.” Gina stands suddenly ordering me to move out the way so she can head to the bar.

“What was that all about?” I ask Casey who silently pats me on the head then begins to tell me about Clive their new dog who was settling in nicely at their apartment apparently.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eventually when Gina returns I wait until she is sat down next to me so I can remove the pin that was put on the conversation and move things along.

“So I need to figure out how to approach this thing with Joe.” I ask my friends grabbing a second beer beginning to pull off the wet label before taking a long drink.

“Just pounce on him!” Casey tells me unhelpfully even though I knew that would kind of work regardless seeing that I had tried it before under the influence of alcohol unleashing the goddess inside of me.

“I wouldn’t place all your hope in having Joe help you.” Gina states making me look away from Casey who was pretending to me a cat batting at something.

“Why do you say that?” I scoff then add “Change your mind much!”

Not missing the look that passes briefly between my friends I count to ten in my head whilst Gina pauses and I wait for her to finally speak.

“Elise told me something.” Gina finally tells me.

“Please don’t get upset.” Casey orders as I try to figure out what the hell is happening.

“I won’t.” I clarify then ask “What the fuck is going on?”

“Well Elise said that she saw Joe leave the bar the other day with a blonde women.” Gina tells me.

“So?” I shrug knowing full well where she was going with this also.

“Well Elise has seen Joe with her several times and I-“

“I am not upset.” I tell my friends more annoyed that they thought I would be crushed or something.

“We just wanted to warn you.” Casey informs me.

“It isn’t like I am stuck on the guy.” I explain to my friends “I can find other guys.”

“But you and Joe have history.” Gina smiles.

“Hardly.” I joke “Look if he is seeing someone or whatever then good I can go and do the same.”

“But Joe-“

“Just because he has been seen with some blonde means nothing I am sure if I tell him that I am ready to try the list out he would offer to help.” I tell my friends very unconvincingly.

“Of course he would!” Casey grins at me “The guy has got it bad.”

“So bad he is seeing a blonde?” I question with a smile.

“He’s trying to make you jealous!” Gina yells loudly.

“As if.” I dead pan then state “Even if he is I can easily meet a few guys.”

“I think you should speak to Joe first.” Casey tells me “He is a nice guy.”

“No way!” Gina grins slamming her empty beer bottle onto the table “Joe is the main event you need to wait for him.”

“Ok conflicting messages going on here.” I laugh not sure where this conversation was going because now I felt like I needed to second guess myself and that was not on the agenda.

“Just fuck Joe-“Casey begins.

“Go to the bar!” Cuts in Gina with a whine “It’s your round.”

“I’m going!” I roll my eyes then eventually stand up noticing that this evening was really going quick I add “Only because I might meet someone at the bar who could rock my world.”

“But he wouldn’t’ be Joe.” Casey cries pretending to look sad.

“I know who to avoid so I can flirt to my heart’s content.” I smirk adding “With Joe in my life or otherwise.”

“The guy will always be around if you’re nearby.” Teases Gina “It is cute really.”

Sighing I grab my purse then walk towards the bar where yellow and white lights were flashing onto the small dance floor strangers knocking into one another the whole place was buzzing.

I on the other hand was still reeling from the conversation I had with my friends which hadn’t gone exactly how I had imagined sure they seemed happy for me but that was chased by looks of boredom.

Have I really been that behind not knowing what exactly was happening? 

My friends and even Joe appeared to know the score and I was left once again feeling a little lost but I wouldn’t let it get to me not when some guy was staring at me whilst I was fumbling with my purse.

“Who’s next?” A bartender yells into the crowd as she looks down at me and I order six beers go save getting back up again because I think I wanted to chat more about my dilemma with my friends.

“Want a tray?” The bartender asks me with a bored look on her face maybe I had zoned out when she had been talking to me.

“Sure.” I nod as she places the beer onto the tray then taking the money from my hand even before I hand it over to her I get some change chucked onto the tray and that is that.

“Jeez thanks.” I dead pan as the bartender eyes me warily with big green eyes and killer eyeliner which looked expertly put on I was too impatient to learn how to do my make up well or that was my excuse at least.

I was not what you would call a high maintenance woman the kind who look so well put together bordering on perfection sure it must be hard work but they did so well it looked very empowering.

Me, I forgot to pluck my eyebrows often and usually put too much blusher onto my cheeks which resulted in me looking a little like I was having a very hot flush that was never a good look.

But the main thing was that I didn’t care how I looked to other people even though I did care a lot about what others thought of me which was as confusing as it sounded but that was how I rolled.

Walking through the crowd I just knew that I would drop the tray getting six beers was greedy and as I begin to wobble I know they are doomed for the floor until I get a helping hand suddenly.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Saved them!” 

Looking up I come face to face with the guy who had been staring at me at the bar he was the same height as me with a light brown Beatles-esque haircut and he had a super friendly smile.

“Thanks.” I smirk as the guy managed to save the tray just before I dropped it across the floor causing a scene which wasn’t what I had planned for the evening ahead.

“My name’s Sean.” The guy tells me.

“Riley.” I reply with a smile as Sean follows me towards the booth where I see Gina nudge Casey hard in the arm causing her to snap until she saw me.

“Do you get a free guy if you buy six beers?” Jokes Gina wiggling her eyebrows at me.

“Sean helped me when I almost dropped the tray.” I explain to my friends.

“You have a nice smile.” Casey tells Sean drunkenly whilst picking up two beers claiming them for herself.

“Cheers.” Sean grins back the guy was very nervous reminding me briefly of how Joe was like at college but I chase that thought away.

“Come join us?” I question not wanting Sean to walk off into the crowd.

“Sure.” Sean smiles adding “My friends were boring me anyway.”

Handing Sean one of the beers easy conversation follows as Gina chats with Casey leaving me to get to know the guy from the bar.

I briefly mention how I am a nanny for two cool kids and Sean tells me he works in a shitty office doing a shitty job he hates but it is good that I enjoy my work he tells me sounding a tad bitter regardless.

But thinking that Sean was shy was very wrong as the guy showed his true colours pretty soon even giving the Joe I remembered from college a run for his money because he was so smooth.

It felt great to not be drunk having only had three beers I was in control but Sean had some moves because before I know it we are making out him teasing me with soft kisses that felt good.

“Get a room.” Casey hisses making me stick my finger up at my friend behind Sean’s head.

“Look there’s Joe!” Gina yells making me push Sean away from my lips just in time to see my friend burst into hysterical laughter.

“What the hell!” I snap making Sean give me an awkward look.

“Is Joe your-“

“He’s nobody!” I cheer grabbing onto Sean’s green army shirt sleeve pulling him towards me but the guy doesn’t budge.

“Joe is just an old friend.” Gina explains briefly whilst I pray she will shut up but my friend doesn’t.

“He has made quite the impression on our little Riley here.” Gina continues whilst I glare at her was she trying to stop me from getting with Sean because if she was that was very uncool.

I could see the night ending just right with Sean coming back to the apartment with me and having some fun before I would chuck him out then maybe get some decent sleep.

“I need to go.” Sean states slowly standing up from the booth as I notice how handsome he is and for once it isn’t the booze talking so I needed to stop this guy from running away.

“No wait!” I tell him getting up quickly losing one of my slip on grey pumps in the process dipping down under the table to grab my shoe praying that Sean hadn’t run off when I look back up.

Someone up there was checking on me because Sean is thankfully still there watching me steadily as I step into my shoe then smile meekly at him.

“I am heading out for a cigarette.” Sean tells me with a smile probably sensing how desperate I had suddenly become in his presence but I needed to prove that this was the new me.

“I’ll come join you.” I tell him with a smile.

“Who are you and what have you done with Riley?” Questions Casey sarcastically trying to tug on my blue and white checked shirt but I move away rolling my eyes at my friend who was attempting to be funny.

“Be safe.” Gina states adding “Or I will call a certain bartender to come and rescue you.”

“I’ll look after her.” Sean informs my friends with a grin not understanding the true meaning of what Gina was going on about.

Shaking my head I follow behind Sean who sure wasn’t as tall as what I usually liked but his smile had kind of drawn me in and if Joe could hook up with whoever he wanted then so could I it was as simple as that really.

Pulling down my black vest over my blue skinny jeans I briefly wish that I had made more of an effort for tonight but I had called this meeting to discuss my plan with Joe which I had told Brandon about but it appeared neither of my friends actually cared.

The looks of exasperation they rewarded me once I had finished saying my piece was quite amusing it also made me believe that I was in my own little world and in that time away I had missed so much with what was happening in front of me.

“Nice.” I hear Sean state as he inhales deeply on a cigarette whilst checking me out reminding me of Joe as I tell myself to get a grip lots of people smoked I just needed to stop thinking of the bartender all day and every day.

“So where were we?” I question with a smile stepping closer to Sean.

“I think we were sucking face.” Sean states then laughs at the face that I pull.

“Oh yeah!” I grin collecting my thoughts then adding “I had been enjoying that.”

Feeling nervous myself all of a sudden I place my arms folded across my chest which appears to gets Sean attention again as he finishes his cigarette then quickly drops it on the floor in front of him.

“Remind me how good it was.” Sean tells me pulling on one of my crossed arms so I moved even closer to him.

Briefly worried that Joe would suddenly appear thanks to Gina calling him somehow I ignore that thought as Sean’s lips meet mine as he twists me round placing his hands on my hips and I forget what I had been thinking about.

“You are so good at kissing.” Sean teases me as we pause for breath again having spent what felt like hours out here in the balmy night air making out thankfully neither of my friends coming to find me.

“I am good at a lot of different things.” I reply attempting to sound sexy but it falls flat instead as I recall I really needed to make a start on my list but first of all I just needed to have some decent sex that was all I asked.

“Er ok.” Sean scratches the top of his head like what I said made fuck all sense and I sympathised with him because I was terrible at all this I just needed to get this guy back to Gina’s place like right now.

“Come back to mine?” I ask Sean and he grins back at me.

“All in good time.” Sean nods “But first let’s have some shots.”

“Er I-“

“You need to loosen up!” Cuts in Sean with a wink making me feel a little uneasy but I chase that away because it was kind of true.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Heading back inside I walk past Gina and Casey who wave at me then pass them in favour of the bar where Sean leads me right to the front where he gets lucky and is served almost instantly by the women from earlier who had chucked my change at me.

Currently she was all smiles at Sean pouring four shots of tequila it appeared I had been suddenly forgotten but getting nudged from behind into the guy next to me makes him hand over the money to the bartender then turn round and finally face me again.

“To having some fun!” Sean winks whilst handing me one of the shots.

Nodding at Sean I down the first shot savouring the warm sensation thinking that I had been good up until this point and well two shots wasn’t going to put me over the edge.

The second and then third shot goes down too easily as I head into familiar territory dancing like an idiot as the room spun fast with Casey to the left of me pretending to be a robot and Gina dirty dancing with some hipster type to my right.

Sean I notice is handing me another shot when I had told him to get me some water instead because I was feeling really sweaty even though I had tied my check shirt around my middle and of course I was drunk just like my friends.

I had tried so hard to ignore the shots passing them to Casey who handed them back to me with a smirk mentally telling me to not be such a pussy or that was what I imagined she was telling me but I obviously couldn’t tell.

“Stop giving me your drink!” Yells Casey over the loud music firmly moving my hand back towards me as it held the fourth or was it sixth shot oh well all I knew was that I was in trouble as I do drink the final shot then it hits me pretty hard.

“I am going to be sick!” I scream clearing a path through the crowd by flapping my arms like I was trying to take flight but instead I take a direct route into the night where I begin to dry heave outside but thankfully I am not sick.

“You ok?” Questions Sean with a heavy breath he must have chased me out here as I had ran off pretty quickly.

I notice neither of my friends had followed but I had informed them earlier how I was able to do this hold my own so to speak and either way it was nice of Sean to come follow me.

“I’m ok.” I sigh then feeling like I need to sit down I do just that right in the middle of the pathway.

“Woah!” Sean smirks at me adding “You cannot sit there.”

Helping me back on my feet just as I tried to sit down I roll my eyes then wish I hadn’t because it hurt my head that was always a bad sign when I got a headache during a night out it usually meant I was going to have a horrible hangover.

“I need to go home.” I state waving my arm around trying to catch a taxi again in the middle of the pathway.

“Alone?” Sean questions as I shake my head in the negative and he asks me if I need to say goodbye to my friends.

“They are fine.” I tell him “Now let’s go back to my place.”  
Finally grabbing a taxi cab once we had walked to where a bunch of them had been waiting I slide into the backseat with Sean following closely behind me with a smile on my face.

“So?” Sean questions “Where were we.”

Just as I am about to answer Sean leans forward and kisses me as I try to tell the cab driver where to drop us off who nods then I wrap my arms around this guy’s neck smelling cigarettes and possibly sweat I wasn’t sure.

Hearing my phone beep and then ring with the theme tune from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” I ignore it for as long as I can because I was enjoying making out with Sean but when it rings for the third time I grudgingly answer it.

“Sorry.” I tell Sean using all my drunken willpower to pull away from him tugging my phone from out of my jeans pocket.

“Go away!” I yell down my phone whilst rolling my eyes at Sean.

“Someone definitely needs to learn some manners.” Pete dead pans down the line.

“How did you get my number?” I question as Pete recalls I had called him before to get in touch with Joe.

“Well I am busy what to do you want?” I yell as Sean gives me a look because things had been heading into the right direction and I didn’t want it to go wrong plus I was sure we were nearly at the apartment.

“I haven’t told Joe this yet.” Begins Pete and I can’t not hear the teasing in his voice he adds “But I saw Brandon the other day and he had something very interesting to tell me.”

It takes a good few seconds for my brain to process this but when it does I feel the panic rise in my stomach swimming around all the shots I had which I knew had been a mistake but I had never been good at saying no to alcohol and a good time.

“Whatever Brandon told you.” I begin taking a deep breath which didn’t help me relax “Is all crap!”

“So you are not going to ask Joe to help you with this sex bucket list thing then?” Pete laughs at me.

“It is between me and Joe!” I snap then regret it as Sean leans back in his seat looking a little pissed off.

“Well I think you better talk to the guy.” Pete states seriously but then ruins the moment by saying “Joe would be there in seconds if you clicked your fingers.”

“That is not true.” I tell him with a small hint of a smile playing on my lips as I imagine the scenario in my head.

“But it was a bad move telling Brandon the guy is worse than me at keeping secrets!” Laughs Pete.

“What secrets have you ever kept?” I scoff unattractively.

“That is true I am shit at it.” Pete informs me “But I have told you so many times of Joe’s true intentions yet you fail to listen to any of it!”

“Ok I am too drunk for this conversation-“

“Are you with friends?” Pete cuts me off which is something I hate drunk or otherwise.

“I am busy.” I begin then add “No wait, I am getting busy!”

“But what about Joe-“

“Bye!” I yell down the phone ending the call quickly then wishing I hadn’t even answered it in the first place.

Noticing that Gina had also sent me a message I chose to ignore it as I smile at Sean then make a show of replacing my phone back in my pocket so it was out of sight and out of my mind.

“Now.” I tell Sean “Where were we?”

“That’ll be fourteen ten.” The cab driver tells us and Sean silently hands him over some money as I realise we have stopped so I leave the car then begin to frantically search for my keys which were luckily in my checked shirt pocket.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sean pulls open the front door as I press the buzzer with the key fob to get in with then next thing I know we are outside my bedroom and I am chucking my keys plus other belongings like my phone into the hallway dropping them onto the floor.

“Let’s get this party started then!” I grin at Sean who gives me this look that makes me momentarily second guess myself.

“So you are single?” Sean questions as he watches me fumbling with my checked shirt trying to untangle my arms from it which was a feat in itself whilst drunk.

“Yes I am.” I state hoping the guy would leave it there and thankfully he does roughly pulling me forward instead embracing me with a firm kiss.

Guiding Sean with my mouth I walk backwards into my room then pull away just as the guy from the bar falls onto my bed and I join him as he tugs at one of my vest straps and before I know it we are getting down and dirty.

Thankfully the feeling that I was going to throw up was replaced by something far better as I score Sean points for not rushing like George had or being generally shite like how Rob had been but the guy was nice so that was a redeeming feature of his.

“Do you have a rubber?” Sean questions interrupting me from my thoughts because he must have noticed the faraway look I had on my face thinking about past conquests when I should have been enjoying whatever this was right here.

“Of course.” I tell him leaning on my right side looking through my side drawer discreetly pulling out a foil square from the large pack I had bought unashamedly from Food Links.

Handing it over I watch as Sean tries to pull it over his penis then he turns away as if he was having trouble but I distract myself by closing my eyes praying to whoever that this was a good idea.

“You ready to get your mind blown?” Sean asks making me open my eyes again as he pushes himself deep inside me without any real foreplay taking place but I wanted to enjoy this so I told myself off for being picky then resumed closing my eyes.

The skin to skin contact felt good as I rocked along with Sean the sweet feeling of release far away but at least it was in the distance I just hoped that I would reach it rather than having to sit it out because I was entitled to an orgasm.

Telling myself to get a grip I try to ignore my headache which had begun to hurt more as I craved a tall drink of water but neither of these thoughts were sexy so I try to move away from them.

Before I know it I am imagining myself stripping off from my favourite underwear which holds me in at all the right places as I brush my hair away from my shoulders looking up into someone’s face.

“Is that good?” Asks Sean making me lose track of my fantasy as I felt my insides quiver from anticipation for the final act.

“Oh yeah!” I tell him whilst both feeling and sounding stupid.

This line of questioning feels like it carries on for hours so I zone out again resuming my daydream of being completely naked in front of someone knowing that they were watching me as I begin to spread my hands over my body.

Cupping my breasts and letting a hand drift southwards teasingly towards my pussy but stopping just below my navel waiting for whoever was watching the show I was providing to order me to carry on and touch myself.

“Are you nearly there?” Sean grits his teeth as he asks a small hiss escaping from a gap in his mouth as I look up and push harder down feeling his dick jerk inside of me.

Closing my eyes and nodding I imagine my hand sliding down and over my vagina disappearing in between my thighs as I notice whoever is watching me stand up to come closer a body without a distinct face.

In reality the build-up of my orgasm was imminent feeling just like an itch about to get scratched it felt really good so I grip onto Sean’s arms then imagine whoever is watching me replace their hand with mine gently stroking my folds and spreading my lips with their thumb as they caressed me endlessly.

“This is it!” Sean yells right in my ear then he groans deeply as he climaxes slowly stopping his movement above me.

Suddenly I see who was giving me the foreplay that I wanted just as I feel my orgasm reaching the top then toppling over as I shudder with excitement whilst my body shakes and all I can see is the face of one guy.

One annoyingly good looking guy.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Joe!” I yell into the dark room pushing my hands through my hair as a wide smile appears on my face but it is quickly replaced by shock and then feeling absolutely mortified as I hear Sean clear his throat then he moves off me so I slowly open my eyes.

“Well that has never happened before.” Sean informs me as he pulls off the condom then quickly begins to get dressed in the dark.

“Look I can explain-“

“I don’t think you have too.” Sean raises a hand in front of me as I pull my duvet over my naked body feeling very conflicted because I was both sated and confused at the same time.

“No really!” I cry then add “It was just a mistake I-“

“This was a mistake.” Sean cuts me off stating “It’s a shame because that was fun.”

“I had fun too!” I try out a smile but then close my eyes because Sean locates the light switch and I become temporarily blind.

Opening my eyes again after five seconds or so I see Sean is now fully dressed whilst I sit awkwardly in my bed hoping the guy in my room would soon disappear so I could hide under my duvet for about a week or so.

“I always get the crazy women.” Sean speaks out loud more to himself than me I think when he looks guilty back at me nut it was too late for my feelings now I was done.

“Excuse me?” I sit up a little straighter on bed then state “I am not crazy!”

“Obsessing over this Joe guy a bit much aren’t we?” Sean questions with a nasty grin asking “Is he an ex or something?”

“He is just-

“Hang onto that thought!” Begins Sean holding a hand up “I don’t actually care I just need to get out of here.”

Picking up his blue canvas sneakers Sean shakes his head at me as if he couldn’t believe what had happened just like me then with a small wave he silently lets himself out of the apartment whilst I begin to punch my duvet as hard as I could just to let off some steam.

Well that had started off so good but then went to shit when I had decided to follow my thoughts into uncharted territory which had tricked me into thinking of the one guy that I didn’t want to be thinking about right now.

There was only so much embarrassment that I could handle and this was really taking it over the edge but I guess it did prove one thing that to get Joe out of my mind I would have to have sex with the guy see if he would live up to my dreams.

This reminds me that Pete also knew about my intentions and if I ever saw Brandon again I would need to speak to him alone because he had well and truly put me in at the deep end.

I’ve never been that strong a swimmer so knew I was due to drown and in reality fail I had messed Joe around so much I was sure that even if I did click my fingers he would just laugh at me then move onto someone else because I had missed my chance.

Putting my underwear back on I collapse back into bed hoping that my friends wouldn’t come back here tonight because I needed to be alone so I could fully take in what had just happened and try to learn from this huge mistake.

But my wish isn’t fulfilled when I wake up from a nap feeling the throb of my headache pulsate right against my skull making me hold my hand in pain then I panic when I hear Casey calling out my name at the top of her lungs.

“Ssssh!” Hisses Gina just as loudly “Riley is probably at it right now.”

“Go Riley!” Casey yells followed by a loud crash which makes me automatically get up from my bed and pull my bedroom door open.

Gina grabs onto Casey’s arm because she had fallen on the floor taking half of the rubbish that had been sitting on the coffee table with her leaving a small trail of destruction in her drunken wake.

“Are you alone?” Questions Gina letting go of Casey’s arm when she spots me standing there in the doorway.

I nod then self-consciously wrap my arms in front of my chest feeling like crap and in need of a friend Gina must sense this as she walks over to me and gives me a hug.

“What happened?” Gina asks giving me a sympathetic look but her eyes appear glazed over from all the booze.

“Did you score?” Casey enquires with a wide smile on her face as she has thankfully gotten up from the floor.

Silently I nod again but they both must see my face when I feel it erupt into an ugly blush the kind that makes your toes curl from humiliation which wasn’t what I had been going for this evening.

“Tell us all about it.” Gina lets go of me and the three of us file into her bedroom so I grab a tee shirt hanging from the wardrobe door next to me and sit on her bed where we all take root.

“After I tell you all this.” I begin telling my friends sounding deadly serious “I need you to promise that you won’t tell no one.”

“We promise.” Casey tells me softly.

“You guys are going to laugh at me.” I dead pan trying to make light of the situation.

“It can’t be that bad. “Gina asks then noticing my face scrunches up her nose at me.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So just like pulling off a band aid which had become a reoccurring theme currently I tell my friends about what had happened needing to tell someone so they could share in some of my humiliation so I would soon begin to heal and eventually forget it ever happened sometime next year.

“You’ve got it bad.” Casey tells me once I have finished my heavily edited story because I wasn’t going to tell my friends I had been dreaming of the guy it was just that I had accidently called Sean a different name.

“I just need to have sex with Joe and then quickly move on.” I state with a shrug like if it was that easy I would have totally done it by now internally kicking myself for all the wasted opportunities I had at college but my feelings had been different back then.

“Sure like a one-time deal.” Jokes Gina sarcastically whilst rolling her eyes at me “It wouldn’t just be one time though believe me.”

“Why do you say that?” I question.

“The guy has got obvious talents.” Gina winks at me then adds “Why would you only want to try him out once when you could use him for your list?”

“I don’t want to be thinking about that right now.” I curse loudly then fall back onto Gina’s bed where we continue to chat but Joe the bartender is off limits until I fall asleep beside my friends trying not to think about him in my dreams.

For four whole days I continue with my life riding a wave of ignorant bliss getting back into the swing of everything after what had happened during the weekend trying my hardest to avoid alcohol at all costs and put my all into my job not any other extracurricular activities.

“Riley?” 

Commending myself for a good effort in attempting to avoid Joe I turn around when I spot the guy in question walking closer to me whilst I was heading back to the apartment from Demi’s having spent the afternoon with the kids.

It was early July and the end of this week signalled summer holiday’s for Harley and Zoe which resulted in me spending more time with them because Demi had changed her mind about me working less for her but I hadn’t taken it personally.

“Hey.” I greet Joe awkwardly the events from the weekend hitting me hard once again just when I thought I had forgotten I am reminded once again in all too vivid detail.

“Missed you at the bar.” Joe tells me placing his hands into his dark grey jeans pockets.

“I’ve been busy.” I lie because besides work I have spent my time on either the internet or taking lots of little naps during the day.

“It is hard to pin you down.” Joe smirks at me as I imagine him doing just that strong hands gripping onto my wrists as he pinned me to the wall ready to do whatever he wanted to me.

“I’ve been around.” I squeak pushing that fantasy I just had far away with the rest of them I was beginning to get obsessed Casey was right and I think it was time I grudgingly believed her.

“Well I am on my way to Death Records.” Joe informs me then adds “Supposed to be rehearsing again do you want to come along?”

“I have plans.” I lie because I haven’t spoken let alone seen Joe ever since he had called me when I’d crashed at Casey’s place.

Then I feel my skin go cold as I wonder if Pete or Brendon have had a little chat with Joe about the list glancing at the guy in front of me trying to see if he was giving away any signs that he knew of my intentions.

Speaking of the list when I had tried to find it yesterday it hadn’t been in any of my handbags, purses or even in my bedroom as I turned it upside down but I had other things to worry about than try to re-write the list.

“That sucks.” Joe shrugs at me then asks “Would any of these plans involve going on a date?”

“A lady never tells.” I tease with a grin.

“Well I hope so.” Joe smiles back “Lilly keeps asking me like I know what is going on in that head of yours and I tell her I haven’t a fucking clue.”

“Ah so that makes two of us.” I joke lamely.

“You always know where I am if you need me.” Joe smiles with a sexy grin appearing on his face making my stomach do somersaults in front of him.

“Have you spoken to Pete recently?” I question out of the blue making Joe’s smile disappear briefly.

“Sure, earlier today why?” Joe questions.

“No reason.” I tell him adding quickly “I just don’t trust him.” 

“Pete’s harmless. “Joe grins “It is Brendon you need to watch out for.”

“Why do you say that?” I ask abruptly sounding completely guilty at the same time.

“Oh the guy is just so much worse than Pete!” Jokes Joe.

“Tell me about it.” I mumble to myself.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Actually I have some news for you.” Joe informs me with a smile.

“Look.” I exclaim holding my hands out in front of me “It was all a joke to ask for your help I-“

“Riley!” Joe yells over me as I had begun to babble then questions “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, er nothing!” I smile seeing that Joe hadn’t a clue with what I was on about hopefully “Tell me your news.”

“Well it’s pretty big.” Joe smirks at me almost looking proud of his double entendre which left little to the imagination well mine at least.

“You’re so lame.” I shake my head with a wide grin plastered over my face.

“Ok if you don’t want to hear what I have to say.” Joe begins removing his hands from his pockets stepping back from me “I will just see you around sometime then.”

“Joe, wait!” I lean forward grabbing his bare arm then I notice him smiling at me as he steps back closer once again.

“Ok here goes.” Joe pretends to take a deep breath then slowly blow it out whilst I wonder to myself if he is going to agree to helping me with the sex list but on my terms we both needed to be mutually in control.

“Just spill!” I shake his arm then quickly let go of it when I realise that I had been holding it tightly sure that Joe had flexed his muscle also but I may have just imagined that.

“I know a guy.” Joe begins looking up at the sky then back at me “Who I think would love to go on a real date with you.”

“Is that guy you?” I question wondering where this whole conversation was actually going.

“Me?” Joe retorts whilst rubbing the back of his neck almost looking awkward but he soon composes himself.

“So who is this guy then?” I ask a little intrigued but trying not to sound desperate at the same time.

“Just a friend.” Joe informs me then adds “I think you will like him.”

“Does this guy have a name?” I question.

“It’s Doug.” Joe nods then with a wide smile playing on his lips asks “Are you interested then?”

“What I am interested in.” I begin “Is if this Doug guy is even real?”

“Now why would I lie to you?” Joe wonders whilst giving me a strange look.

“Why are you setting me up again?” I counter question.

“I thought you was ready.” Joe states then adds “Clearly you have some trust issues still.”

“It’s just weird that’s all.” I explain then elaborate by saying “First you tell me that you will help and that never actually happens and now you are trying to set me up with one of your weirdo friends.”

“Hold up!” Joe waves a hand in front of my face then points a finger at me adding “If you really want me to help you with dating and also sex then all you had to do is ask but you haven’t even got the guts to do that.”

“Are you daring me again?” I retort sarcastically then add “All you seem to do is tease the hell out of me then it makes me so frustrated when I think of you.”

“So you think about me then?” Grins Joe at me with a glint in his eye.

“I didn’t mean-“I tail off when I see the look on Joe’s face as I try and fail to back track because he has the sexiest smile on his face and it isn’t helping my train of thought.

“It’s just sex.” Joe states for about the hundredth time “Stop thinking it over.”

“I’m not thinking about you that’s for sure.” I mutter thinking the complete opposite.

“Well good.” Joe tells me in a teasing voice “Doug would really like to meet you.”

“I might just take you up on that offer then.” I demand with a firm nod wondering if he did really mean all of this or if he was just trying to wind me up yet again.

“Of course you will.” Joe winks then reminds me “You need my help in all the things single people do like meeting people and having sex with them so I am your guy.”

“Just not the guy to do the job.” I tease back enjoying the flirty tone my voice had managed to adopt for once.

“Oh, I’m the guy.” Joe states stepping even closer to me just as a teenage girl passes by us and I catch her twisting her head round to catch another glance at the guy in front of me and I knew exactly how she felt in that very moment.

“You sure about that?” I question with a smile.

“I haven’t had no complaints from anyone recently.” Joe tells me then adds “I have a couple of women who I have been hanging out with just a bit of fun you should try it.”

“Don’t be a jerk.” I retort “It doesn’t suit you.”

“So now I’m a jerk?” Joe questions sarcastically.

“Well if you’re trying to make me jealous.” I begin with a growl “It isn’t working.”

“Clearly.” Joe steps backs as I decide I needed to get out of here.

“I need to go-“

“So you are jealous then?” Joe questions.

“Me?”

“Sure.” Joe nods “You keep flirting with me then backing out at the last minute it is starting to get really old.”

“Fuck you.” I state having had enough of all this so I go to move away from him to leave.

“That’s the spirit.” Joe retorts looking annoyed at me as I shake my head “Run away.”

Looking forward I begin to walk away from Joe as if he wasn’t really there and that hadn’t just happened but the sick feeling in my stomach told me otherwise.

That was awful sure a lot of what he had said was true but he hadn’t needed to be such an asshole about it setting me up with one of his friends sounded ok but I just wanted him…

Wait, did I just think that?

Feeling like I wanted to punch something hard I storm back to the apartment in the shittiest of moods so I was back to zero days of not thinking about Joe.

If only I had the confidence to ask Joe or better yet just do what I always imagine myself doing in front of him stripping my clothes off making him want me but most of all proving to him that I wasn’t a tease.

I really needed to get my shit together I didn’t want to lose Joe over all this at the end of the day he was an old friend but with sex getting between us there was only one thing for it.

I needed to go on a date with this guy Doug and maybe even just ask Rob to help me with the sex list but the idea of that failed to excite me unlike someone else I knew.


	23. Girls Chase Boys

Joe’s words still hurt me the next day and also the day after that whilst I poured myself a black coffee wondering if I had gotten the guy all wrong and he was just a jerk like all the other guys I had met in the past?

But then sitting in front of the TV I decide that he had a good point because I had been telling him what I wanted all along from the very moment I’d met him back at Upside Down so maybe he was right and I was wrong?

Finally my confidence which couldn’t surely be knocked down any more serves to reminds me that maybe if I did throw myself at Joe he would just push me away because according to him I had gotten old like a fad that wasn’t hot topic anymore.

It was like I’d started off as a cool play thing for him to tease and be his usual self with then when I turned the tables and tried to be flirty back he just grew bored and decided to chuck me aside.

Well that was what it had felt like because the moment I began to walk away from Joe half of me wanted to turn round and jump him and the other half wanted to slap him hard around the face.

How dare he make me feel that little even though I did only just reach his shoulders but the way he had yelled at me had turned me on so much I was ready to pounce which was embarrassing and not the point I wanted to make.

So despite all this I did exactly the opposite of what I should have one and I seeked comfort in the arms of Rob instead of talking to Joe because I didn’t want the guy to dislike me any more than he so obviously did.

For three nights now I have crashed at Rob’s place which he sadly shared with Jeremy who was still currently dating Amy but I couldn’t give a shit because I was getting mediocre sex on tap.

That was what I got for being a bitch a Joe I guess that argument had been all my fault because I have been playing games with the guy who finally put me in my place because I had lost.

Sure I would have liked to of experienced some between the sheets action with him but it was now too late now no matter what Pete would say I was done otherwise I would just go insane or my friends would disown me..

Swapping Upside Down for Slater’s the bar I had gone with Rob on our first date I did need to go see my aunt at some point soon but I decided I would just go to her house instead of the bar.

“So you were saying?” Rob questions as we both are sitting in his bed the covers draped over our legs as we looked up at the ceiling and got to know one another kind of.

“I was saying.” I begin having totally lost my train of thought thanks to Joe once again popping into my mind I add “Oh yeah I have an idea.”

Sure there was a possibility this was way too early to mention to Rob but I was positive he would see how important it was to me and that he would have me all to himself whilst I figured out how to date again.

“Does it involve sex?” Rob asks with a grin which evolves into a smile when I nod back at him.

“Actually it does.” I smile to myself then wish I had actually wrote down the list again because I could not think of all the ten items that I wanted to do which wasn’t a good start because losing the list had been a novice move.

“Can we do it right now?” Rob laughs as he tries to grab me but I move just in time seeing that I wanted to talk to him instead.

“Right now I want to tell you about this list I have.” I state watching Rob’s face for any sign of a reaction like an excited or a repulsed one should do the trick.

“A sex list?” Rob interrupts again the guy had a worse attention span than me.

“Yeah kinda.” I tell him as Rob nudges my arm as if urging me to carry on talking.

“Well there are these ten things I would like do that I have never done and all I need now is a guy to do it with.” I smile awkwardly as I see the look Rob gives me like I’ve told him that I want to meet his parents.

“Is this your way of asking me to be your boyfriend?” Rob asks me incredulously.

“No!” I roll my eyes “I wondered if you wanted to help me complete the list.”

“But could I have sex with other women too?” 

“Of course Rob!” I snap because this wasn’t going how I had imagined it for starters there was no bartender in sight and the guy in front of me was looking at me like I had just asked him to marry me.

“Because I am not the settling down kind this is going way too fast!” Rob tells me cautiously moving further over to his side of the bed like he didn’t want to give me the wrong impression.

“Fast?” I question with a snort “This is just sex and all I ask of you is to try out some new positions with me and then we can get onto the dirtier stuff.” 

“That sounds like a lot of hard work.” Rob informs me with a sigh.

“Forget it then! “I yell throwing my arms in the air as if to make a point just what I wasn’t sure.

“Ok calm down!” Rob steadily tells me then asks with a boyish smirk “Is someone on their period?”

“I’m leaving.” I decide out loud getting up from his bed I quickly get dressed into my blue denim jeans and white off the shoulder tee shirt whilst giving Rob a bitchy look.

“Ok then.” Rob nods and in that moment I decided that I shouldn’t have told him about the list he was shit at sex anyway there was no way he was going to help me when all he wanted to do was help himself.

“Bye!” I holler leaving the bedroom then heading out past Jeremy and Amy who both had smiles on their faces almost as if they had heard the whole conversation between me and Rob but I didn’t want to dwell on that right now.

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Instead I am surprised by the sudden influx of attention I get from the opposite sex almost as if my eyes are truly seeing things for the first time and to say I enjoy it is an understatement.

Firstly there was a guy in Food Links who approached me in the fresh food aisle scaring me half to death because I had been deciding between two microwave meals for dinner which was as sad as it sounded.

But this guy didn’t notice how desperate I looked when he just stands there checking me out which was a little creepy but also a compliment when they come thick and fast from him.

“Let me count the ways.” The guy begins then adds “How much I want your number right now.”

Sure I wouldn’t give it to him with that line and also his breath smelled a little as he leaned closer to me but the attention came at a time when it was needed most.

On the very same day I am standing at a set of traffic lights waiting for the person to appear so it was safe to cross and see that I am being openly gawped at once again.

First of all I discreetly try to wipe a hand across my face worrying suddenly that I had something on me but when the clicker begins and we all start to cross the guy gives me a huge smile.

“You’re hot.” The guy points at me as I walk past him sure enough a huge blush covering my face as that was the confidence boost I needed right now what with Joe being too good for me and Rob well he was useless.

If you took out the sex between us me and Rob still got along ok but it seemed that everything always ended in us getting into his bed never mine and I kind of felt like I was being used.

Which was rich because that was exactly what I was doing to him but he was just something to keep me busy for now perhaps help me with the list but that had been a terrible idea.

It was as if we were playing pretend just like I had briefly with Joe because everyone saw something between us but I am sure they all just imagined it seeing that I never had.  
Joe was awkward in front of me sometimes sure it was a hard habit of his to break but we had been getting along just fine until everyone decided to get involved themselves.

When I wasn’t stuck thinking about how shite my life had gotten once again I passed the time Friday night thinking of some plans for the kids I looked after because they were officially on summer vacation.

Demi had even told me earlier in the day that she trusted me enough to take the kids out more often I was sure seeing the women had some kind of secret but I had my own problems to deal with right now.

One of those thankfully wasn’t money because I was going to be getting more over the holidays which was something I liked the sound of seeing it was the only good thing going on in my life currently.

This meant that I could save up to try and find my own place maybe even start my own freelance service as a photographer which had been something I’ve always wanted to do but been too scared to try.

Whatever made me think of trying that out again taking photos for people at parties and the like to build up a portfolio was beyond me but the thought stuck with me for the rest of the day.

The thought had inspired me to seek out work being a nanny again something which I thankfully still enjoyed actually helping to keep me grounded and temporarily forget all my woes.

Earlier on in the evening I find myself beginning to root around in the corner of the room where all my equipment was starting to get a thick layer of dust on it as I continued to neglect the items.

Will had once told me I wasn’t good enough to make anything of myself that I had better stick to working a normal job instead whatever that meant but just look where it had gotten me?

A severe lack of emotions followed me around during the next few days like my life had become lacklustre losing the glow it had when I’d been in a relationship and part of a team which was something I liked.

I have never enjoyed being alone by myself blaming the fact that I was an only child but It almost felt like I was scared of being me because all that took was courage but I always longed for someone by my side.

To help me in the right direction because it appeared I was lost without someone taking my hand and guiding me forward which was embarrassing for a late twenty something to admit.

I needed to be able to pick myself up on my own not have the weight of my life carried by someone else pulling the strings for me yet that was how I lived.

The only good thing going on for me was I had been getting noticed more by guys just like at the Food Links store not getting any further than a smirk, sexy glance or even a hug by one dude who had chatted to me about his job at a school.

But once the conversation had come to its natural conclusion things had gotten embarrassing so the guy with very stylish dark brown hair gave me a hug then walked off in the other direction like he couldn’t run away fast enough.

Maybe I did need to check my attitude because I was sure it was turning everyone off me but that was their problem if they didn’t like me surely?

The only guy who had ever got me was a certain bartender but he was well versed in the ways of impressing women seeing how he had hooked me but I was well over that little farce.

It felt that all my friends knew me and Joe had been faking our little arrangement but I had enjoyed it whilst it lasted anyway. 

Remembering that I had a new friend request on Facebook on a Saturday morning having woken up early due to some disturbing dreams I did not want to dwell on no matter how hard my mind betrayed me had put me in a funny mood.

Because when an immaculate picture of Gabi appears in a large square on my screen and I still cannot believe that my ex boyfriends fiancé wanted to be my friend with me at least by social media which even then that was a little too close for comfort.

Clicking on her face a new page loads which has lots of happy pictures of herself and Will like them sitting in a restaurant taking a selfie together or the two of them kissing one another at a bench in my favourite park.

Assuming I would feel bad seeing these kind of images of my ex I surprise myself by feeling smug in the thought that this guy was out of my life even though he had guided me so much.

Sure it had been on a road which ended in us splitting up but now I was on my very own path one which was leading me into a very hot summer which was about to heat up even more.

Or so the TV weather man stated as he waved his right arm above his head signalling that things were going to get warm so it was time to get out there and have a little fun in the sun.

“You are so right Simon.” I tell the weatherman with a nod of my head deciding he was talking to me and only me and this was surely some kind of a sign.

Looking back towards to my laptop I close my eyes and pressing the enter key I accept Gabi’s friend request being the bigger person which was how I rolled now.

Or until I had another emotional break down which seemed to happen weekly but that was how I recovered I over analysed everything until the smallest thing helped me see sense then I was back on track.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All that I needed to care about right now was my work which today was taking me back again to my favourite place with the kids to the park all set for an afternoon of drawing.

Wearing my favourite thick black framed sunglasses which covered most of my face alongside a blue and grey stripped sundress I followed behind Harley and Zoe heading towards the playground.

“Mum was in a bad mood today.” Harley tells me with a firm nod of his head adding “I blame Zoe!”

“It wasn’t me!” Zoe yells defending her name.

When I had walked into the King’s house an hour or so earlier I was met with screaming which wasn’t coming from either of the kids but Demi who had her phone firmly attached to her ear.

Even though it sounded like she was yelling at someone in the kitchen and all the profanity which I have had to scold Zoe for repeating even though it wasn’t her fault that her mum was having some kind of break down.

Noticing me standing in the doorway Demi abruptly ends the call without saying goodbye to whoever she was shouting at and then she turned on the King charm that I knew so well.

“Oh!” Demi brushes her hair tucking some of it behind her ear looking a little shamefaced she adds “I didn’t hear you knock!”  
“I’m sorry did I interrupt-“

“No!” Demi cuts me off then she spots Harley doing something that he shouldn’t then the yelling quickly resumes making me want to walk right back outside again.

Eventually I managed to escape Demi’s bad mood with the kids in tow still not sure what the hell was wrong with her but I was a little afraid to ask just in case I had gotten my head bitten off.

Looking back at the kids in the playground I was happy to see them still there they had begun to fully trust me the pair of them and it felt good I just hated being the bad guy sometimes.

Harley and Zoe were good kids and whatever problems Demi was currently negotiating I was sure she would sort it out but I wasn’t here to dwell I was here to entertain my little friends.

Pulling out a drawing pad from Zoe’s ladybird shaped backpack she had chucked beside me then rushed off towards to slide with a nervous looking Harley in tow I grabbed a pencil and got to work.

Roughly sketching out the shape of the playground from where the swings began right to where the large slide ended past the tree shaped climbing frame it calms me briefly because I did love to draw. 

People who knew me back a college would recall how I spent most of my time with my head dipped down facing the large pad creating a scene over the crisp white page in front of me.

This reminds me of the very first time I had met Joe at college but the thought clears my head when I see a guy watching me intently then looking away when he sees I have noticed him.

I spy a little boy by the guy’s legs watching the activity in the park when he catches me looking the guy grins at me and accepts the invitation to walk over.

The little boy is attached to his leg now not in any hurry to let go it appeared as the guy smiles at me with a really goofy grin.

“Hi there.” The guy introduces himself as Jake then adds “And this is Parker my sister’s little boy.”

“Hello.” I smile at Parker who continues to hide behind his uncle who on closer inspection I notice isn’t my type I don’t feel no instant attraction which makes me not want to make an effort.

Was that a bad thing I had yet to come to a conclusion?

Sure Jake had a nice smile it appeared sincere at least but his eyes betrayed him by looking tired and almost uninterested in life it seemed he had some battle scars still on show.

“Why don’t you go play?” Jake asks his nephew who suddenly lets go of his leg and rushes off towards the slide where he stops next to Zoe who rewards him with a funny look.

“Are those two your kids?” Questions Jake his grey eyes almost looking repulsed at the idea I guess the guy wasn’t big on family life but there I went again jumping to conclusions.

“I am their nanny.” I explain to Jake easily adding “They are good kids.”

“So there is no guy in your life?” Questions Jake sitting down to join me on the bench what was happening why was I getting so much attention from the opposite sex.

Was it my utter contempt for mankind currently that in fact attracted them to me so much because this was getting ridiculous when all I wanted was one guy to come and apologise to me.

For once I was going to stand my ground and not go running even though that was what I wanted to do more than anything I was just a little scared of how things would pan out.

“No.” I tell Jake honestly “I have seen a few guys recently-“

“So you’re looking for someone?” Jake asks and I nod then shake my head and finally nod once more.

“You look as confused as my ex did.” Jake states whilst I recognise the bitterness in his voice I fail not to get annoyed by the tone of it.

“I am not confused.” I tell him steadily “In fact I know what I want and I am so close to getting it.”

“But I bet the guy is already married or something?” Retorts Jake sounding like he was dragging his own problems into the conversation.

“I don’t need to justify myself to you.” I remind Jake who sighs at me.

“Well I was just being friendly.” Jake tells me getting to his feet he adds “But you women are all the same only after one thing ruining a guy’s life every single time.”

“It takes two to do that.” I note more to myself than Jake as it was quickly transpiring that the guy was damaged goods he sounded way more in deep than me.

“Parker!” Jake yells as I look back to the slide where Zoe was swinging on the bar above the top of the slide talking to the little brown haired boy with a happy smile on his face it was very cute.

Shouting out his nephew’s name once more got the boy’s attention finally as he leaps down the slide then rushes over then he silently walks off behind his uncle’s shadow making me silently hope that he never saw Jake as a role model.

Now that had been a shitty interaction that somehow Joe had still managed to appear at the forefront of my mind what was it that I was going to have to do to get him far from my thoughts?

Last option being moving to somewhere very remote but I would miss the interaction I got from the internet on a daily basis and even more so I would Joe’s stupid jokes that he told shit the guy drove me crazy.

It wasn’t as if I had a history of being the crazy girl but Joe had gotten under my skin ages ago and instead of scratching the itch away I left it be until now because I wanted nothing more than to see him.

I’m sure that it was merely lust that kept thoughts of Joe close by he was an old friend after all but we had never argued 

But that wasn’t going to happen he needed to come find me Joe knew where I was I had my life to carry on with also to try and get Rob on my side about the whole sex list.

“What are you drawing?” Questions Zoe tugging on the pad still in my hand so she could see scrunching her face up as she tries to make out what I was sketching upside down.

“Look round here.” I tell her with a smile guiding her onto my lap so she could see explaining how I was drawing the playground pointing out the different parts which made it.

“It looks messy.” Giggles Zoe as I reward her with a hurt look which was pretend but feeling bad I guess the little girl starts to pat me firmly on the head.

Setting to work Zoe begins to draw over my sketch creating the scene she saw in front of her which was very good I loved to watch her little face concentrating on what she was doing taking it all in.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back at the Kids house just in time to finally meet the dad I am introduced to Eric King who was very handsome but with a serious look on his face even when he sees Zoe rush over to him.

“You’re home early.” Harley informs his dad who quietly nods then treats his son to a small smile.

“Demi has gone into work you just missed her.” Eric tells me then adds “I have heard so much about you from the kids they really like you.”

“That is good to hear.” I smile at Eric who bends down to look at the drawings which Zoe was showing her dad whilst Harley gave a running commentary on each picture.

It was a cute scene to be watching one that I would like to be a part of in the future with my own little family but that was a long way away because I needed to be in a relationship for that.

“Oh.” I hear Demi announce behind me then slamming the front door adds “Dad’s home.”

“I finished early, yes.” Eric stands back up as the kids possibly sensing an argument or something rush into the kitchen but thankfully the pair of them were giggling to each other.

Silently Eric turns around and follows the kids he is a tall man with wide shoulders and damn did he look good in a suit but I try not to openly gape at my bosses husband I really do try at least.

“I didn’t recognise him at first.” Demi states heavy on the sarcasm which makes me turn away to look at her.

“Been a long day?” I question then regret it.

“It’s been a few days since I’ve seen my husband.” Demi throws me off by stating a fake smile plastered across her face.

“But he is home now.” I remind her quietly hoping again that an argument wasn’t about to break out in front of the kids.

“Yes.” Demi smiles at me but not without adding “Time to play happy families.” 

Leaving as quickly as I could I hope the Kings were ok getting up to my old tricks of worrying about everyone else and forgetting about number one which was a bad habit of mine.

Hearing my mobile phone ringing in my bedroom later on in the evening just as I try to wrap my wet hair into a towel because I was fresh from the shower I attempt to not break my neck whilst rushing to answer the call.

Of course I miss it just as I am within hands reach of the device it stops dead which makes me curse and rub my head aggressively with the red towel instead before I pick up the phone from my bed.

I am ashamed to admit I feel a little sad when I see that it wasn’t Joe calling me in fact I didn’t even recognise the number so I doubted it was something important which sucked because I had nothing planned for this evening.

Drying my hair I try to blow out all the crazy ideas I had in my head of approaching Joe which was something I didn’t want to do but my mind just kept on going there it was seriously fucking me off.

Like hell was I going to call the guy anytime soon that was off the table and as for heading to Upside Down that wasn’t an option even though I did want to see Lilly she would help me.

Just to help me see some form of sense and clear my head because whatever I was doing it wasn’t helping in the slightest and I was sure my friends were now totally bored of my life just like I was.

Switching off the hair dryer I see I have missed a further two more calls from that unknown number perhaps it really was someone interesting trying to get in contact with me?

An absurd idea pops into my head that it was Gabi calling me sure we had just become Facebook friends that was now official but this was going a little too fast for me.

Brushing my hair I drop my brush like it was a mic on the floor exchanging it for my phone as it rings once more and I lean back on my bed trying to grab it without pulling something in the process.

“Hello?” I question trying not to sound worn out from the exertion I had just performed I was so unfit It was humiliating I really did need to go for a run again sometime soon.

“It’s Amy.” States Jeremy’s girlfriend making my eyes widen this was even worse than the idea of Gabi calling me.

“How did you get my number?” I question feeling a sense of unease hit me hard in the stomach.

“That is the least of your worries.” Amy informs me with a sneer “But if you must know I got it from Rob’s phone.”

“So what do you want then?” I question hoping that Amy was about to cut to the chase and explain why she had fucking called me.

“First of all you need to pay attention.” Amy tells me down the line continuing “Because I’ve been having sex with Rob and he has chosen me so you need to back off!”

“But I thought you was with Jeremy-“

“I am.” Amy laughs “We all have an agreement which you are interfering with.”

“So when I met Rob-“

“Sure.” Amy cuts me off which hits a nerve like always “I was having sex with him then you just showed up uninvited and almost ruined the party but not quite.”

“Well you can have him!” I state feeling a little surprised that Rob was like all the other guys I had met previously then I felt sorry for Amy very briefly that she was all caught up in it but then I take that thought back.

“I don’t want you to speak to Rob ever again.” Amy begins “He is and always will be mine why don’t you go and stalk the bartender that Rob told me about your obsessed with him it is really pathetic.”

“Fuck you!” I yell “And Rob too!”

“Bye bitch.” Amy gets the last word then hangs up on me as I sit there placing a hand over my mouth not sure what part of what Amy said to me was I pissed off with the most.

How was I obsessed with Joe?

Also Rob needed to be taught a lesson I knew that much how had I looked at him and thought he was a nice guy from the very first meeting at Rouge to lying in bed with him enjoying the moment.

But once again I had been played and despite thinking I was the one in control this time things hadn’t gone my way and I was left to seek out revenge because I could not just walk away from this.

Rob had been a dud in the bedroom anyway so I had no loyalty to him it was time I showed him that he had messed up and he was going to seriously regret it.

“I think you need to go get checked out.” Gina shudders at me once I’ve told her and Casey how yet again I had chosen the wrong guy.

“I will.” I nod back at my friend with a smile adding “Thankfully every time we did have sex we used condoms so I should be covered.”

“There’s a joke their somewhere.” Casey states with a small smile.

“I never liked Rob.” Gina tells me even though I knew that already seeing she and Casey were both team Joe because that was a thing apparently.

“He was ok.” I begin then correct myself because I didn’t need to stand up for this guy when he had treated me like shit “But right now I just wanted revenge I can feel it in my blood.”

“No more juice for you!” Laughs Casey slowly moving away my strawberry and banana smoothie from the table we were sitting inside Jungle Juice where she worked.

It was a small place which was always busy with painted jungle animals on the walls complete with fake tree branches hanging from the ceiling and wooden benches for everyone to sit at.

“I definitely don’t need something stronger than this!” I tell Casey pulling my drink back towards me with a small smile.

“Of course not.” Begins Gina with a grin stating “Because if you were under the influence god knows what you would do!”

“I know what you need to do-“

“Go to Upside Down!” Cuts in Gina stopping Casey short of whatever she was about to say to me.

“How would that help me?” I question until it suddenly dawns on me “We are not talking about Rob anymore are we?”

“No we are not!” Gina smirks at me.

“I’m lost.” Casey looks away from her phone and I nod back in unison.

“Me too.” I inform my friends “I do not want to think about him right now when I have to make things right by inflicting so much pain onto Rob.”

“Oh is it just him now?” Teases Gina adding “You can’t face saying his name.”

“Speak of the devil.” Casey begins nudging me hard on the arm “Or at least one of his minions.”

Without even looking round behind me I just knew that Pete was there I could see the look on Gina’s face whilst Casey gritted her teeth like she was about to move forward and sit on the edge of her seat eagerly watching whatever was about to unfold.

“Riley!” Pete yells loudly for whose benefit I knew full well as I twist round in my seat whilst my old college friend embraces me in a tight hug with both of his arms around my neck.

Joe as usual isn’t far behind until looking up from his phone in his hand he spots Pete hugging me and with an unreadable look on his face he stops, spins round and then quickly walks out of view.

Utter humiliation, I knew it.

Letting me go Pete stands back up to his full height then asks “So you two still aren’t talking?”

“No.” I tell him simply wanting to leave it there hoping that Pete would take the hint and follow Joe where ever it was he had gone.

Instead of leaving Pete talks to Gina whilst I quickly stand up and mumbling my goodbyes I head off even though I hadn’t managed to ask my friends for advice on getting Rob back but that could wait until tonight.

“Sorry I-“

Crashing straight into someone as I turned the corner once I was outside I notice that it was Joe whose chest I had just walked into which was both embarrassing and reminded me of something I wish that I could forget.

“Hi.” Joe greets me but this time without his usual teasing smile on his face.

“I need to get going.” I tell Joe not wanting round two of our argument to kick off in the middle of the street and I wasn’t going to be the first person to apologise.

“See you around then, I guess. “Joe dead pans in a sarcastic voice which makes me turn round becoming witness to how dark Joe’s eyes got when he was angry and fuck he looked so annoyed right now.

Not saying anything even though I had so much on my mind I continue to walk just like the last time I had when I saw Joe thinking I was in control but this wasn’t even the slightest bit fun.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Why don’t you just humiliate him in front of his friends?” Casey questions sitting opposite me on the couch in the living room where I had spent most of the next afternoon wandering round the coffee table in circles.

“Show them pics of his dick.” Gina dead pans “I bet that will get a laugh from everyone.”

“What is it with you and dick pics?” I ask my friend incredulously as she shrugs at me with a smile.

“They are amusing.” Gina states.

“Anyway.” I begin “I am sure all his friends have seen his cock so I need new ideas.”

“Just post something on the internet about how he is scum or even better get a really horrible picture of him and make posters to place around town saying that he is riddled with diseases.” Gina smiles gleefully.

“Ok.” I laugh at my friend “Remind me not to get on your bad side.”

“Like you’ve gotten onto Joe’s bad side?” Gina questions bringing up the bartender yet again in a space of like ten minutes it was getting ridiculous.

“So humiliating him in front of everyone?” I ask Casey completely ignoring Gina who groans at me then checks on her phone clearly bored with me.

“That is what he needs.” Casey nods “Shaking this guy up will make him hopefully see what an ass he is.”

“Amy did say never speak to Rob again.” I laugh “But I need to be the person who has the last word here because it hasn’t happened yet.

“Clearly Joe has gotten to you Riley.” Gina tells me “Just ditch this asshole Rob then apologise to Joe and perhaps make it up to him the only way us girls know how.”

Simulating the universal sign for blow jobs I roll my eyes at Gina as she performs oral on her clenched right hand which was a show and a half.

“I really think you should swallow.” Begins Casey cracking up halfway through but then composing herself she adds “Your pride and talk to Joe.”

“You are both evil.” I tell them but not without a grin on my face.

“First you come to us saying you had things all set with Joe and now the guy won’t even look at you without wanting to walk away in the other direction.” Gina states with an exhausted sigh.

“What can I say?” I retort sarcastically “I have my special way with guys.”

As the night carries on conversations about Joe stop thankfully as more elaborate plans to get Rob back are made and without the aid of alcohol we all descend into sober giggling fits instead blaming all the sugar we had consumed.

Empty sweet packets littered the floor as I felt relaxed talking to my friends this was my comfort zone just kicking back with Gina and Casey talking absolute shit even though it all sounded hilarious to us.

“So the clown dunks Rob into the swimming pool?” Casey questions scratching her chin with her right hand as she ponders this scenario.

“I hate clowns.” I tell Gina shuddering at the thought of one being in this room right now.

“Good to know.” Gina winks at me “I can use that for future use against you.”

“I am loving all these ideas.” I yawn feeling very tired all a sudden from both the thought of Rob and getting my own back on him “But I think all that I need to do right now is just confront him and then call him out for being a sleaze ball.” 

“That sounds like a good plan.” Casey yawns in sync with me then standing up from the floor she announces that she is leaving because she has forgotten what her boyfriend Justin looks like.

“Like hell.” Gina laughs then asks “But I will walk you outside is Justin waiting for you?”

Having known Casey and Gina for as long as I have instantly I sense that my friends were up to something but dismiss it because I didn’t want to become paranoid so I let it go.

“Bye bitches.” I smile quoting Amy but I meant it more affectionately.

With the plan set in motion I message Rob who I hadn’t heard from but it is arranged that we will meet at Slater’s and I will show him that I am no women to be messed about with.

Exchanging messages Rob didn’t mention anything about Amy keeping up with his old tricks instead by flirting heavily and this time regretfully sending me a dick pic which would make Gina proud because it was awful.

I hadn’t a clue what would go through a guys mind for them to think that sending a women a picture of their cock was a good idea seeing that in whatever angle you looked at it the subject wasn’t going to look good.

Man and his dick was created by whoever for more interesting purposes other than staring at it in a picture or real life even wondering if it was going to perform a trick.

Deleting the image I regret it soon afterwards because I could have used it for back up just in case the guy was impossible to humiliate even though I was sure a lot of people would see the funny side to it.

It seemed fitting to wear the same clothes I had on when I’d met Rob at Rouge kind of like some artistic closure but really I just loved the outfit and I knew that I looked good in it so it was an instant win.

My well-worn Jim Bean tee shirt and black mini skirt are a good match and something which I feel good in every time I wear it.

Instead of boots this time I wore flat bronzed coloured pumps instead with knee high grey socks to show off my legs and remind Rob what he was going to miss out on.

I was feeling confident yet nervous a weird combination that was turning into my go to emotion right now as many scenarios played out in my mind of what was going to happen.

It looked far too easy in movies the main protagonist getting the upper hand and coming out the winner whilst the loser looked on forlornly wallowing in their self-pity or at least that is what it looked like on screen. 

But reminding myself that this was real life and my friends were just one phone call away if it did go wrong I was sure I had it all covered seeing that I nothing to lose.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was due to meet the scumbag himself at Slater’s bar ignoring Casey’s suggestion of bringing Rob to Upside Down just in case Joe found out what had happened I bet he would have a thing or two say on the matter.

Messaging Rob whilst outside to tell him I was at the bar I take a long deep breath before I head inside then placing my phone back into my striped handbag I see that the guy in question was already here.

Well that was a first Rob being on time somewhere I thought I had a little time to try and relax myself with a drink even though I was a little excited to see the look on this guy’s face when I told him where to go.

As usual the bar was busy with most tables taken by large crowds and a few couples I spotted chatting to one another intimidating me because I was single and alone…at least that is how I suddenly felt.

Navigating my way past people I spot a guy smiling at me as I pass him giving me an appreciative smile which warms my soul making me feeling good about myself for all of ten seconds.

“Hey baby!” Rob stands up from his chair as I approach the long table leaning forward to offer me a kiss on the cheek then his lips move closer to my ear and he adds “You look so fucking good right now.”

“I know!” I squeak not exactly giving off the standoffish vibe I had been going for but at least I had managed to form words and not babble for days like I usually did in awkward situations.

Sitting down opposite Rob who soon would become a very distant memory and I hoped that he sorted himself out because he was getting played by both Amy and Jeremy the guy needed new friends at least.

But I didn’t care seeing that I spent far too much focusing on the smaller details in life whilst huge and obvious points passed me by unnoticed until someone showed me like Amy had.

“Two beers.” Rob tells the female server without even asking me what I want he then launches into a boring monologue about some local artist he has discovered who was painting landscapes on people’s fences and walls.

“Well that sounds illegal and stupid.” I inform Rob who shakes his head at me.

“You don’t get it.” Rob states brushing something off the table “Each piece is individual and it reminds the artist of a time in his life.”

“That sounds so interesting.” I dead pan then decide to proceed with the plan of attack add “But I have other pressing matters to discuss.”

“Like me getting you out of that skirt, ouch!” Rob leans forward arching his arm under the table attempting and failing to grab my thigh as I move back I didn’t want to feel his touch on my skin ever again.

“No.” I state firmly “Like me telling you this is all over.” 

“Two beers.” The female server places them on our table then walks off without one of us saying anything to her either she was working on autopilot or she could sense the sudden tension at the table.

“You’re joking right?” Rob scoffs “You could never get enough of me!”

“I already have.” I smile back which rewards me with a glare from Rob.

“So you have gone from wanting to have sex with me and trying all these new positions to suddenly backing out is it because you’re scared?” Questions Rob with a confused look on his face.

“It isn’t like we are official or anything.” I remind him waiting for the guy to see sense and come clean he at least needed to give me that.

“I am so confused.” Rob shakes his head at me then takes a long gulp of beer basically drinking the damn thing in one go I try to follow suit but the bubbles make me burp instead.

“It is simple.” I tell Rob “We are over I know what you are like and I am done!”

“Is it because of Jeremy?” Rob questions “The guy told me he had a major boner for you which pissed me off because I wanted to keep you for myself.”

“Both me and Amy?” I retort which has the desired effect as I witness Rob’s eyebrows shoot up into his hairline as he looks completely caught out.

“Well I-“

“Look I know about you and Amy.” I tell Rob then add “When I found out I wanted to hurt you so badly because how dare you mess me about but looking at you now I can see your just a pathetic guy.”

“Does this mean you will now go running to that bartender guy?” Rob retorts his turn to throw me off completely.

“I don’t-“

“Riley look I need your help!” Rob says with deep urgency in his voice “I cannot keep up with all this bullshit!”

It is here I see a new side to Rob not the confident guy I had met at Rouge or the cocky guy who bites his tongue hard when he comes because this version of him looked worn out and I almost felt sorry for him. 

Almost.

“So you admit to fucking Amy as well as me?” I question “Because that is bullshit does Jeremy know she is cheating on him?”

“What?” Rob gives me a weird look then drops a bombshell “Jeremy knows I am having sex with Amy he would never have gotten with her unless I told her to but now I really regret it.”

“So you share her?” I ask “You do know this is all very weird.”

“Amy is in love with me she even stalks me but I cannot give her that life I do not do relationships.” Rob tells me firmly.

Well this wasn’t going how I had imagined it all as Rob orders more beers that by now I should be pouring over the guy but even though I had gotten played I still felt like I needed to hear him out damn my conscious.

“But now you know the truth I want out.” Rob sighs “Amy won’t take no for an answer and Jeremy is afraid of losing her because of me.”

“Jeremy hasn’t got Amy she sounds like she has an agenda with you though.” I nod back hoping I never got like that over a guy but then realise I kind of had with Joe.

“I am sorry I messed all of this up.” Rob states sounding sincere for the first time ever as even the server looks over at me with a smile but it wasn’t going to change my mind I needed out.

“Well it is too late now.” I shrug “I don’t want anything to do with this shall we call it weird arrangement with your friends.”

“Neither do I.” Jokes Rob grinning at me.

“I wanted to tell you to go and walk in midday traffic if you begged me to go home with you.” I tell Rob honestly.

“Well do you?” Rob begins “Want to go home with me I mean.”

“Too soon.” I dead pan with a firm shake of my head.

“I hate playing games with women and here I am stuck in the middle of something so fucking stupid!” Rob chugs his beer then takes mine from across the table maybe this was my cue to leave.

“I think I better go-“

“Please stay!” Rob begs me then states “I need your help.”

“How?” I question then retort “And why do you think I would even help you after this!”

“I need to end it with Amy fuck knows I have tried!” Rob pleads with me “Do you have any ideas?”

This was weird I needed to leave I had said my bit maybe I would feel better if I knocked Rob’s beer out from his hand then stormed off into the night?

Instead Rob orders more drinks as I decide to stay for a little while longer even though I knew I should escape but something was keeping me here maybe I felt a little more than sorry for the guy.

Easy conversation continues between us making me feel like this was the closure I needed seeing that Rob was as useless as me with relationships and just being with the opposite sex in general it was a shame we were such a good match.

Rob talks about how he met Amy it was in a nightclub and they had sex within the hour of meeting in a dingy restroom that had broken lights and two guys about to fight one another over some bad drugs they were sold in the club.

It sounded to me that Rob really does have some feelings for Amy they both appeared to be on the same wave length perhaps Jeremy was the reason that he was holding back on her which was ridiculous.

“You’ve got it bad.” I giggle into my beer which was going down terribly on an empty stomach another clever idea by yours truly.

“I cannot believe you are listening to all this!” Rob shakes his head adding “You’re a really cool girl Riley.”

“I’m not.” I shake my head then state “Believe me.”

“Well if you don’t agree with me I am sure your bartender friend thinks so too.” Rob smiles making me blush or at least it feels like it because this bar was very warm too many bodies and not enough windows.

“No way!” I sing song ignoring my phone which was ringing in my bag on the table it was most probably one of my friends calling me to see how all this was going which was good even though not exactly to plan.

“I remember the way he was looking over at us when we met again.” Rob grins at the memory “That was why I asked if he was your boyfriend.”

“Why can everyone else see it when I can’t?” I question then regret it.

“Maybe you’re scared?” Rob ponders then adds “Like me.”

“So enough about my dilemma.” I brush his last comment off then ask “What do you plan to do with Amy and-“

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Fucking bitch!” I hear someone yell looking up I see it is Amy herself so she was pretty good at stalking Rob it appeared I was almost sure that Jeremy would pop up behind her as well but he doesn’t.

“Hey!” Rob holds his hands up in the air whilst Amy looked like she was either about to cry or dive onto me ready for a fight I wasn’t sure or ready for the answer.

“I told you to stay away from my man!” Amy yells obviously causing a scene as I notice some people looking up from their drinks to watch what was about to happen.

“I am backing off!” I stand up as if to prove my point “Right now I am out of the equation whatever is left between you both the pair of you need to sort it out.”

“So you admit defeat?” Questions Amy the bitchy tone ever present in her voice but it doesn’t strike a nerve not this time perhaps it was the beers I have had.

“I back out.” I tell Amy “I think you and Rob need to talk to one another.”

“But you’re not mad at me?” Amy retorts looking for a fight it appeared.

Also the crowd that had been watching us quickly disappears when we stop using our outdoor voices and talk in more hushed tones because we were boring and there was obviously a lot more drinking to be done.

“The night is still young.” I joke “But no in all seriousness I have things to deal with and so do you guys I was fucked off but realise now it was just a part of being single.”

“I don’t want to be single anymore.” Amy tells Rob with a sad look on her face.

“But what about Jeremy he-“

“Yeah what the fuck about me?!” 

Looking up I see Jeremy actually appear behind Amy just like I had imagined and he looked like he was ready for a fight his face drawn into a sneer as he removes his hands from his jeans pockets and launches himself towards Rob.

“Watch out!” I hear Rob yell just as Jeremy misses his friend and his fist meets my face instead catching my left side getting me right on the lips as I try to move out of the way.

Suddenly several guys wearing all black descend on us and we are quickly escorted outside of Slaters bar into the balmy night air then it is all over as the doors are slammed behind us.

“Are you alright?” Rob stands next to me pushing past Jeremy who is trying to talk to Amy but she won’t even look him in the eye right now.

“I will survive.” I state glaring at Jeremy who for once looks embarrassed at himself.

“Sorry you got caught up in all this shit.” Jeremy begins in way of an apology “But like me you need to get out of it whilst you can.”

“Look Jeremy-“

“I don’t want to hear your lies!” Jeremy snaps at Amy who backs away from him “You two assholes are both made for each other I need to step back before I do something I really regret.”

Glaring at the three of us Jeremy then stalks off as I make myself wince because my lip was sore which meant that it was going to swell soon because it felt like it was currently on fire.

“I think we need to talk.” Amy aims this statement at Rob who nods.

“I need to say goodbye to Riley first.” Rob tells her like I was going far away and there was a possibility that I wasn’t going to see him again.

“No, I’m good!” I wave at them both “I hope this all gets sorted and I am not there to see the end result.”

“Go and fuck the bartender.” Rob replies with a laugh “It will do you some good.”

“So I’ve been told.” I dead pan walking away from Slaters feeling surprisingly happy despite my plan of humiliation not working out at all and getting hit in the face by that asshole Jeremy in the process.

All I knew was that I needed something to eat and a slice of pizza sounded so good right about now that much I was certain about continuing to feel happy and considering the future well that would have to just wait.

That sounded like the best plan I had come up with in a long time.


	24. Sour Grapes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (This chapter is in Joe’s POV his take on the story so far and he is as pissed off as you, the reader, that he hasn’t gotten with Riley yet)
> 
> **Songs mentions are not owned by me but Descendents and R. Kelly respectfully**

.....................................................................................................................................................

All it had taken was one fucking phone call to ruin my day which was fucking typical.

So here I was sat in the kitchen area of Upside Down on my break headphones placed firmly over my head covering my eyes with my hands and hopefully everything else because I was in the darkest of moods.

But not all of my co-workers got the memo that when I looked like I wanted to punch something quite hard that you needed to back off seeing that the slightest thing right now was liable to send me over the edge.

“Food?” One of the Jake's questions with a raised eyebrow most probably noticing the aura of anger that was surrounding me as I muttered that I’ll have whatever was leftover.

“You ok guy?” Jake questions and silently I nod back not wanting to get into it I was still too busy being angry.

It had also been my fault for answering the call in the first place because Shona had wanted me to see it was her instead of using some unknown number seeing that despite the fact I deleted her details when we broke up I still knew it which was sad.

Leaning back away from the bar I watched as Max clocked my expression then let me slide away into the back room whilst he took over out the front and I stupidly pressed the green icon on my screen then felt the hairs on my arm stick up.

“Hi Joe.” Shona purred at me and I moved back further into the room when instead I should have just ended the call.

“What do you want?” I snap whilst ignoring what her voice usually did to me which made me both feel ashamed and horny at the same time.

No matter what Shona had a way of making me feeling like shit and that was not going to improve my mood anytime soon why the hell had I answered the phone?

“I’ve left Leon.” Shona’s statement sinks in but then an image of Riley from the night that she pretended to be my date enters my mind and it briefly makes me smile.

“Lucky Leon.” I dead pan then state “You need to get rid of this number and forget about me.”

“You don’t mean that.” Shona chokes down the phone losing her cool in less than sixty seconds which makes me wonder what I ever saw in her.

“I do.” I sigh deeply “Look we had our fun but now I am after-“

“It’s that ugly girl you was with at the bar opening wasn’t it?” Shona question then sneers “Do you love her like you did me?”

Sure, one time I had loved Shona and what I felt for Riley well that had become stupidly complicated and was not up for discussion anytime soon because I was very close to giving up anyway.

“That is none of your business.” I tell Shona who snorts back at me.

“Going that badly then eh?” Questions Shona then adds before I can stop her “You fuck up every relationship Joe because you are a shitty guy who likes to fuck up everyone else’s lives whilst you stand back and do fuck all.”

“So you cheating on me with Leon was my fault then?” I ask incredulously.

“That was an accident.” Shona at least has the courtesy to sound a little ashamed but I could have imagined it.

“Look, this whole conversation is an accident I fucking regret ever meeting you Shona and this call is over don’t ever contact me again.” 

That had felt too good hanging up on my ex telling her something I should have a long time ago because meeting Shona had been a huge mistake, even Pete knew it was going to end tragically and just like that it had much to my confusion at the time.

Jake places a slice of pizza in front of me on a white paper plate and I push it away because remembering earlier this morning was making my stomach churn I needed to think about anything else or maybe even nothing if that was possible.

The punk tunes that I had discovered back in college and were listening to now as loudly as I could were not inspiring my bad mood to leave me in fact just to add all the shit going around in my mind Riley chooses this moment to appear and invade my thoughts.

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................

Chucking down the pen angrily onto my notepad which showed a crisp white page that had zero lyrics written down on it and I was that close to just writing fuck it over and over on the paper then giving up.

All I had wanted to do was catch some space here but that was impossible with Jake hanging around looking from the now cold slice of pizza to my face which must have been a picture because he quickly looked away when I had caught him glancing over.

Removing my headphones I place them onto the table then grabbing my phone I stand up from my chair pushing the pizza slice away from me even though I knew I needed to eat I had far more better things to be doing on my break than being sensible.

“I’m going for a cigarette if Max asks for me I’m not here ok?” I aim this question at Jake who fails to answer right away because low and behold the guy I was trying to avoid walks in clearly hearing everything I had just said.

Silently walking out the kitchen I detour to the courtyard where I could spend at least ten minutes smoking and staring at the beige coloured brick wall in front of me for some inspiration as I secretly hoped that Max wouldn’t follow me out here.

Just like that day after I had met Riley for the first time at college she clouded my thoughts once again but what annoyed me the most was that I could still see the pained look she had given me after we had argued in the street the other day and I had somehow set her up with Doug idiotically.

“Are you going to talk or do I have to ask?” Questions Max interrupting my private thoughts.

“Neither.” Joe looks round and smirks lamely at his co-worker who always looked like he had everything in its rightful place whilst I let my life descend into chaos telling myself over and over that I was in control when clearly I wasn’t.

“Is it something to do with Riley?” Max asks carefully then carries on when I fail to answer him “Because I haven’t seen her at the bar recently Lilly keeps asking Elise where she is.”

“It’s just the usual shit that follows me around everywhere.” I state with a sour look on my face.

“Why don’t you just shake it off?” Questions Max with a wide grin as he begins to dance like an idiot in front me I think this was his idea of cheering me up.

“It isn’t that easy.” I begin then regret it as Max groans inwardly at my reply.

“Dude.” Max gives me a look like his wise eyes have seen a lot of damage in the past but he was now over it all and obviously happy with Elise.

“Can we not do this?” I ask sincerely not wanting yet another person weighing in on the shit heap that was my life then chucking the end of my cigarette into the plastic tray on the floor I completely miss it and Max laughs which really works wonders for my current state.

“Stop making things so damn hard for yourself.” Max tells me regardless of what I just asked him and I really want to stop what he was saying because yeah I had heard this all before but it didn’t change a damn single thing I had let it get this far and the line was way crossed.

“It’s fine.” I state not wanting to get into the argument I had with Riley because Lilly was likely in earshot she liked to check on me to see how I was but I saw through all that she obviously cared for her niece and I felt like a jackass for hurting her.

“Well whatever is bothering you just remember this one thing.” Max begins then states “Getting laid cures everything.”

“Have you been talking to Pete?” I roll my eyes up into the sky not wanting to think about Riley and that way she looked at me from under her eyelashes making my balls clench in anticipation and my stomach turn at the same time.

“Whoever she is.” Max laughs at this clearly knowing who I was thinking about right now adds “Just go for it dude.”

“I don’t need this advice.” I tell Max then noticing the time on my phone tell him “I’m late returning to my shift.”

“Like Lilly ever cares!” Scoffs Max which was true but the thought of getting on my bosses wrong side held little appeal.

“I need to go.” I shrug backing away from Max who points at me.

“You need to go see Riley, I mean-“

“Fuck off dude.” I snap walking back inside feeling the anger begin to rise yet again.

So that hadn’t helped none at all and as a result I was stuck with my mood all afternoon ignoring the bright idea I had of messaging Riley because what needed to be said had to at least be done in person I wasn’t a complete asshole.

So why did I feel like one?

Checking my phone during a quiet moment sitting behind the bar I notice Lilly watching me from over her newspaper unless I was getting paranoid which was easily a plausible explanation for everything.

I had officially lost my cool and it was all because of Riley she was such a whirlwind of confusion and tension that I didn’t know what was up or down when she was around me it made me feel like I was in my late teens all over again.

Seeing I had a message I refuse to check it right away until I spot that it was from Pete and when curiosity gets the better of me because today feels like it has gone on forever I regrettably press the green envelope icon. 

Letting the text fill the screen in front of me it is just one line I read over and over but it’s one that’s so fitting I rub a hand over my face in frustration because it summed up my current situation perfectly.

“I wanted her cherry, I got sour grapes!”

Sure the album Enjoy wasn’t the Descendent’s best work even though I enjoyed the odd fart joke but that song the one Pete had messaged me a lyric from had a deeper meaning I can even kind of recall the conversation we had in the shitty old Ford car I owned listening to said album.

Many hours were spent sitting in that car and I would like to think that I could’ve got some action in it back in college but that medal went to Pete who liked to borrow my Ford often and I usually ended up being the designated driver for nights out with classmates anyway.

“I can’t believe she walked right past you!” Pete shakes his head at me his short spiky hair not moving an inch from the motion whilst I glare back at him.

“Riley was busy-“

“Like hell, she was trying to chase Hunter down I was pretty sure that Riley was going to try and jump on his back to stop him escaping at one point.” Pete retorts watching my face for a reaction.

“Why should I care?” I question then hastily add “Because obviously I don’t!”

“Stop with the bullshit.” Pete grins checking his reflection once again in the rear view mirror pissing me off even more in the process.

“Well she is cool.” I remind Pete “But once Hunter appears we are all but forgotten about.”

“He’s your friend.” Chuckles my best friend the one who had introduced me to the all-star sports player who still thought he was in senior year at high school and he just hung around with us so the guy could steal all my pot.

“Doubtful.” I retort “He likes you because you’re his wing man for parties whilst I like to check out the music that is playing at said shindig whilst trying to score some herbal refreshment for the night.”

“All the while pretending to accidently bump into Riley if she happens to be at this party the girl who for several months thought your name was John right?” Pete questions with a loud laugh.

“That was just a joke.” I tell Pete almost believing the lie myself because all Riley ever saw me as was the funny guy that hung around with Hunter even though I was forever trying to ditch him.

“Hilarious.” Pete informs me “But if you want to make it with Riley or at least get a conversation going with her then stop acting weird around her.”

“You sound just like Hunter.” I dead pan because he thought Riley was cute but told me many, many times that she wasn’t his type and I was free to make my move if only I knew how.

“Well listen to our advice then!” Pete sing songs with a smirk.

“I do talk to Riley actually we have had a few conversations recently but as soon as Hunter or even her friend Katy appears then I am left to fend for myself wondering what the hell had I done wrong.” I explain to Pete honestly.

“Dude you have got it bad.” Pete laughs at my face then the car descends into quiet as one track ends and another is about to begin.

“Hey you, new wave, come over here.”

“You’re the prettiest thing I’ve seen all year.”

“Hey you, new wave, don’t turn away.”

“Close those pouty lips and listen to what I say.”

“I bet you have sour grapes right now.” Jokes Pete making me smirk regardless.

“Cut it out let’s change-“

“Oh wait you have blue balls instead.” Pete continues laughing at his own lame joke.

“Your presence makes me scream.”

“This is how Riley makes you feel!” Pete informs me moments later adding “Joe this is your song man.”

“As I said she is cool we are just friends.” I shrug trying to remain nonchalant about the whole thing because I had come to the conclusion myself that parts of this song I could totally relate to ages ago but I wasn’t go to tell Pete that.

“Friends?” Pete questions then state “That isn’t how you get laid by being her friend.”

“Sour grapes, you leave such a bad taste.”

.......................................................................................................................

And still all these year later Pete was dishing out the same advice to me because even after all that time apart I still held Riley high up on a pedestal denying my every move all the while wanting to get close to her but not too close seeing that we were just friends.

There was nothing I wanted more than getting Riley all to myself without any of her friends or mine interrupting us as I listened to my most basic of instincts and acted on it like I should have done back at college.

Why the fuck had I told Riley that I would set her up with Doug?

That idea had come from nowhere and made no sense it was like I was self-sabotaging any of my chances with her and I really wanted to kick myself as soon as the words had left my mouth.

“You ok Joe?” Lilly asks making me jump as I had been thinking to hard not noticing that a small crowd was at the bar looking at me expectantly whilst I tortured myself over a certain brunette.

“I’m good boss!” I awkwardly grin at Lilly who nods at me an uncertain look passing across her face as she walks off mumbling something I cannot make out.

If it was even possible the afternoon passes even slower as I try to busy myself by reorganising the stocks of alcohol secretly wanting to sneak a beer or two to take the edge off but I only had until five then I would be free to head home and listen to some old vinyl records.

When I had told Pete about my argument with Riley recently the one which had escalated so fast I blinked and missed the warning before I had gone too far and there was no way I could take back what I had said even though I wished that I’d tried.

“Can I be the first to tell you?” Pete begins pointing a finger at me adds “You’re a fucking idiot.”

“I know.” I tell him miserably because this was seconds before I got angry at everyone.

“Doug is such a catch for Riley!” Pete teases me and this was when I saw red.

“Fuck off!” I snap angrily “It is what it is I haven’t spoken to Riley since we argued in the street.”

“Well you need to go and apologise to her.” Pete tells me frankly.

“Then what?” I question “I introduce her to Doug and they live happily fucking ever after!”

“Someone is jealous.” Quips Pete stupidly.

“I am never jealous.” I state falsely “I have to sort this out and I will one day.”

“Are you telling me finally after all this time that you like Riley?” Pete asks incredulously.

“She’s cool.” I tell him sounding just like a younger version of myself which makes me cringe.

“Fucking hell!” Yells Pete turning away from me walking away as he shakes his head in disgust.

Riley was cool and I especially enjoyed it when we did flirt but there was always something stopping us either she would suddenly change her mind and act indifferent around me or someone would interrupt us just when things were getting good.

We were a match but I was unsure how we fitted together seeing that something should have happened by now who was it fucking up my chances but of course I never blame myself even though I really should.

“Is the guy you?”

That was what Riley had asked me when I said I knew someone who would like to go out with her and I still kick myself now at my response suddenly caught out I decided to appear standoffish and like I didn’t really give a shit that was where it all went wrong.

The hopefulness I swore I heard in her voice nearly killed me as the pain in my chest tightened and I remained playing the villain of the piece resulting in Riley storming off making me realise not for the first time that I could have changed things a lot sooner.

It had seemed all too perfect spotting Riley that day at Upside Down on my very first day at the bar settling in easy with the other staff and learning that Lilly the boss and owner of the place was quite funny and she adored her niece.

When she had first mentioned her name was Riley I hardly responded to it because it wasn’t an unusual name and I was still annoyed with my ex at the time as well so my mind had been wandering round in circles.

Then when I saw a petite figure walking past the bar towards Lilly who had her arms open ready for a hug I watched then carried on working until Lilly came and found me in the kitchen ordering me to go and use my charms that she employed me for to serve her niece.

You know when you see someone and it hits you right between the eyes that you know them from somewhere but fuck knows where this was how I had felt coupled with a major de ja vouz vibe that wouldn’t quit until she looked up and it all fell into place.

It felt like I was stuck in time not able to speak because I would break whatever spell I was under seeing that the girl in front of me was Riley, my Riley, from college and there I was standing like an idiot as she rewarded me with weird looks not recognising me at all.

Sure I looked different than I had the last time she’d seen me but it felt like only yesterday we had finished college that comforting nostalgic buzz grabbing me by surprise as I unashamedly checked out Riley from under my curly hair.

Then I hear about what has been happening in Riley’s life and I get angry at the idea that she got dumped by some jerk and now he is getting married as well then I stupidly offer to ask my friend Pete if he would go to the wedding with her.

It appeared I had a history of trying to set up Riley because I did it all the time without even trying to ask her myself because I wanted the timing to be just right and not to have a repeat of mistaken identity in the bedroom again.

Having not thought about college very much until Riley had walked back into my life like Pete had placed her there himself having mentioning her name out loud the night before my interview at Upside Down ruining my evening completely which was one of his favourite pastimes.

“Can I have two hard ciders?” Questions a female voice making me start because I had been deep in thought over analysing everything at the same time deciding that this mess was all my fault.

“Sure.” I begin standing up from the metal stool behind the bar asking “Do you want it in bottles or from the old tap?” 

“On tap thanks. “Smiles the pretty redhead in front of me which makes me grin switching on the bartender charm I kept for cute women.

Before working at this bar I discovered I had a knack for serving customer’s alcohol, adding my own witticisms in for free whilst even flirting and sometimes scoring with women I met near the end of the night.

It was just all that charm went somewhere when Riley was around me turning into the younger version of myself she had met aged twenty complete with awkward looks and always sounding condescending when I didn’t even mean to be.

“Work that bad huh?” Questions the redhead once I place the drinks in front of her with a smirk.

“My mind is currently elsewhere.” I joke with a playful shrug as I place the women’s change back into her hand.

“I can tell you my number.” Begins the redhead which makes my eyes widen as she adds “You’ve been checking me out ever since I came in through the doors.”

Had I? Sure I’d been staring into space but checking out the redhead I hadn’t which was a crime because she was really cute but then I get that feeling once again in the pit of my stomach because she was someone else and not the person I wanted.

Fuck, I was an asshole.

“Oh, sure I-“

“Take a break.” Lilly states cutting into whatever I was going to say to let the redhead down because I needed to clear a few things in my mind before I could carry on with my day to day and not think about Riley like every few minutes.

“Bye.” I tell the redhead awkwardly as I fail not to notice the roll of her eyes like she was already way over it walking away from the bar back to a table where two other women sat giggling like teenagers.

“I think we need a chat when your shift is over Joe.” Lilly tells me with a funny look on her face one that I haven’t seen before because it was almost as if she was pissed off at me about something.

“Er, ok.” I nod back Lilly who sets off back towards her office whilst I quickly head towards the courtyard out the back for a cigarette hoping it was empty out there because I was in the mood to shout a few expletives into the air right now to pass the time.

.......................................................................................................................................

The last final half hour of my shift passes by pretty much in slow motion whilst the bar was getting busy all around but all I could focus on was wondering what Lilly wanted to talk to me about even though I had a pretty good idea.

It had been such a long fucking day and all I wanted to do right now was leave work without Lilly and her chat which would be all that I could stand so I planned my escape whilst working on auto pilot making customers drinks staring at a wet spot on the bar.

When eight in the evening finally decided to show its beautiful face I nod silently to Elise who smiles at me happily as she appears at the bar but then tuts as I try to get quickly squeeze past her before Lilly came back out from the back office to find me.

“Someone’s in a hurry.” Giggles Elise as I curse because she steps back to block my path.

“I need to go.” I snap back which only encourages Elise when a wide smile plays on her lips and she looks set to wind me up.

“Hot date?” Elise questions with a wink.

“Sure.” I agree flippantly not wanting to fall prey to the obvious trap that was heading my way.

“Is it finally with Riley!” Elise cheers excitedly clapping her hands in the process.

“We are just-“

“Friends, I know.” Elise cuts me off with an exaggerated eye roll.

Spotting Lilly from across the room I try to act like I haven’t seen her in the hope that she in turn hasn’t seen me so I can go grab my backpack from my locker then head back to my apartment as quick as possible so I could blast out some loud music.

It was a nice idea because as soon as I head back out from the staff room low and behold my manager is leaning against the wall with a faint smile on her face obviously sensing my discomfort.

“You can’t get away from me that easy Joe.” Lilly begins.

“Damn and there was me thinking I’d escaped. “I retort pleasantly whilst secretly wishing that Lilly would get to the point so I could leave.

“Well nothing gets past me.” Lilly leans off the wall with a firm smile.

“It’s been a long day-“I begin slowly.

“Still avoiding Riley are we?” Cuts in Lilly getting straight to the point as I try to avoid her gaze.

“It isn’t like that.” I sigh reluctantly.

“Well Riley is very special to me.” Lilly carries on regardless “So please don’t mess her about ok?”

“I wouldn’t do that we are friends-“

“Friends?” Scoffs Lilly with an unattractive snort.

“I need to go.” I tell Lilly not wanting to get into this right now yet another person giving me advice I didn't ask for.

“Well take this seed of wisdom with you.” Lilly smiles adding “Don’t keep Riley waiting.”

“Waiting for what?”

“Bye Joe!” Lilly turns around and leaves me standing there outside the staff room.

Placing my headphones once again over my ears I block out everything just as a Black Sabbath track begins to vibrate my ear drums pretty much at the same time when one of the Jake’s decides to sneak past me as I go to finally head out.

“Whoa!” 

“Oh fuck!”

Broken beer glasses from the large cardboard box that Jake had just dropped laid strewn around my feet whilst I looked up to see the guy in questions shouting at my face but thankfully I couldn’t hear him I just needed to get out of here like now.

“Sorry dude.” I mutter keeping my head down before an argument erupted. 

Stepping over the glass I push open the door to the bar but then I see Elise shaking her head at me that smile ever present on her face making to turn round to see Jake had followed behind me.

“What is your problem?” Jake questions angrily at me whilst I shake my head trying not to let any of the emotions that I had felt today creep to the surface.

“Nothing, look I apologised. “I shrug taking off my headphones showing that I had just heard him.

“What the sweet hell has happened here!” Lilly cries from behind me.

“This guy happened.” Sneers Jake clearly pissed off.

“Take a time out!” I tell Jake his bad mood clashing with mine.

“Look you need to sort out your attitude guy!” Snaps Jake ignoring the small crowd forming around us whilst Lilly curses at the mess getting Max and Sam to clear it up.

“Take your own advice.” I retort bitterly.

“You’re the one who has been walking around like a kid sulking all day!” Cries Jake then an ugly smirk appears across his face as he continues adding loudly “I think someone needs to get laid!”

Cheering erupts besides me as I notice some people had been watching and I spy Elise waving her hands above her head wildly at the bar making me lose my cool in the worst way possible even though it hadn’t been the first time.

“I get laid!” I snap back pathetically causing more cheering as I even notice Lilly watching me as I am clearly humiliated which rounds the day off making me storm out the bar.

Covering my hands over my eyes rubbing them hard in annoyance I believe that was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life coupled with that time at high school with the locker, basically all of my time at college and of course that one time at band practice.

Pulling out a cigarette packet from the back pocket of my jeans I eventually find my lighter then decide to walk as fast as I could home stopping off half way to pick up a six pack of beer because there was no way I would be able to sleep tonight.

I was such an asshole and a loser it was beyond belief.

....................................................................................................

This was exactly how I had felt I recall when I’d been the subject of amusement for my friends thanks to Pete mentioning Riley for the first time in forever during band practice whilst we had been arguing for over an hour about what song to start actually with.

Finally back home I slam the door shut behind me dropping my keys on the coffee table I step over vinyl sleeves which littered the floor it was on my to do list to tidy up eventually but I needed to just collapse onto the couch for now and chill.

It was a shame that I was alone because I needed a distraction briefly wondering not for the first time today if I should message Riley maybe inviting her over wasn’t a terrible idea because I had beer and I needed to see a pretty face.

Her face.

But then I remember we are not talking, well until she talks to me pulling open a beer in frustration I drink it down hungrily because I needed to just take the edge of everything for a little while.

It was a shame you couldn’t block out moments you wish that you could forget like how your first kiss went down and more importantly how today played out in its entirety completely erased would be cool by me but all I had in my arsenal right now was beer and so I decided to drink the lot in quick succession.

On an empty stomach that was a bad idea I decide as the night wears on but I enjoy the numbness that I was currently feeling kicking off my black battered boots onto the living room floor placing my hands behind my head deciding that I actually was the loser that Pete had made me out to be at college.

“You used to follow her around like a lost puppy.” Pete laughs explaining to my band mates the origin story of me and Riley.

This had taken place a few day before I had my interview at Upside Down and before I’d even really thought about the petite brunette in a long time but there she had appeared like a dream come true.

Or an ironic nightmare?

“We were friends-“

“Who is this?” Jordan questions clearly not bothered by the conversation but more interested in where his next drink was instead.

“Joe met this brunette on the first day of college and became obsessed with her for about two years.” Pete states nonchalantly making Jordan snort loudly then roll onto his back as he failed to grab the can of beer that was behind him.

“This is old news.” I told the guys hurriedly whilst glaring at Pete.

“You do have a fondness for brunettes, dude.” Keith states which I knew I did already.

“Yeah we had Chloe from the laundromat who already had a boyfriend.” Begins Andy who continues “And there was also Willow who totally shot you down within ten seconds.”

“Well the first one is true.” I joke almost missing the couch arm as I stepped back trying to get away from the stupid conversation.

“How do you ever get laid?” Questions Pete always the instigator and pain in my ass.

“Easily.” I snap settling onto the couch next to Patrick who was shaking his head at me failing to hide the smirk from his face.

“I don’t see nothing wrong.” Keith sings in my face “With a little bump n grind.” 

“Joe is all talk.” Pete laughs once Keith has finished exercising his vocals adding “Believe me if you knew him at college none of you guys would be hanging out with him.”

“Was he a real loser?” Questions Jordan gleefully sitting up from the floor with barely a struggle.

“Absolutely.” Laughs Pete.

“Ok so who was the college brunette?” Asks Andy.

“No one-“

“Her name was Riley and wait until you hear this.” Cut in Pete re telling the story all wrong making me sound like a total idiot which I guess I had been but I wasn’t that guy anymore or so I had thought.

“Are you kidding me?” Joked Patrick sarcastically whilst I threatened him which only made the grin on his face wider.

“Riley was just as clueless at the time.” Pete remembers fondly “Even asking me if I liked her whilst I had been explaining that Joe had it really bad.”

“She thought you liked her?” I scoffed noticing all too late how jealous I had sounded asking this very question.

“Someone still has a hard on over this girl.” Laughs Keith.

“Fuck!” I yell sitting up on the couch reminding myself not for the first time that I needed to punch Pete the next time I saw him sure he was my best friend but I very often forgot why.

I know he was only trying to help but he was a part of this whole fucking sorry story he had seen me follow Riley around like an excited puppy and seeing her again after all this time I was still chasing her around waiting for my reward.

Collapsing into my bed yet again alone sometime around four in the morning I spent the next hour or so groaning and cursing my existence until sleep finally takes over and I magically pass out.

Coffee is the only reason why I get of bed the next day that and the fact I really needed a piss so once that was over I briefly check reflection in the mirror then cursing at it I pad out into the kitchen in my boxers and an old band tee.

Feeling like I had hardly slept even though I clearly had because I’d had some very colourful dreams if I recalled them right but my happiness doesn’t last long because once I finally have some black coffee in my large mug I head back to the living room and my favourite space on the couch.

I just wanted to chill today and finally get some new lyrics down because I knew a song was ready to be written, a hook even would be a start and a very decent place to begin at that but first I just needed a cigarette or ten.

“So are you jealous then?” I remember asking Riley all of a sudden whilst my brain had momentarily been empty the question appeared in plain sight almost as If the words materialized in front of me in a thick puff of smoke.

The hurt in Riley’s eyes had obviously been apparent and made me feel like an asshole because I had wanted the upper hand but instead I’d gone too far.

All I needed to do now was make it right not repeating the scene I was trying awfully hard to forget where voices being raised ended in us walking off in separate directions sure it had been a petty argument but my stubborn side had kicked in as usual.

Because all this time I have had shall we say a soft spot for Riley there was something about her that kept me going back and I have played my fair share of cards much to the amusement of everyone else so now it was her turn to decide what to do next.

Several hours pass in the morning as I mainline both coffee and cigarettes ignoring the mess that was all over my apartment because no one important was going to be around anytime soon plus I had better things to be doing.

“Just say something don’t let me guess, how can we stay friends when I have created this mess?” I read out loud what I have written then groan fuck that was lame.

Pete for once was right but I wasn’t going to be awarding him for that honour anytime soon at least to his face.

This was going nowhere my writing it felt like today was going to the same shit as yesterday just thankfully I didn’t have work or any plans which suited my mood fine currently because a quick check of my phone signalled I had no messages.

............................................................................................................

Deciding to go for a quick run because I needed to clear some thoughts from my mind I change into some grey joggers leaving my old band tee on wondering for a few seconds that if I messaged Riley would she want to meet up with me?

Laughing bitterly at myself I decide against messaging Riley because she was the reason why my libido was causing me a lot of discomfort on my part someone needed to create a new word for how I felt seeing that horny just didn’t cut it anymore.

Feeling sick from both my thoughts and the fact that I was running whilst filled up with coffee and no food in my stomach I pause to catch my breath at the park near the playground looking around just in case I saw her with the King's kids Zoe and Harley.

Of course I didn’t spot the brunette who I would love to materialize in front of me right now but I am currently shit out of luck so instead I head to a vendor for a drink and something to eat instead.

Choosing the place nearest to me which also just happened to be the same one where me and Riley had lunch together and I’d revealed who I was to her I spot a very pretty women with ice blonde hair who is also quite hot.

“Hey there.” The blonde smirks at me.

“Morning, or is it afternoon?” I question with a grin.

“It’s time you took a break from running I’ve been watching you for a while.” The blonde tells me leaning herself forward onto the cash register flirting easily which puts me at ease for a few moments.

“Have you now?” I question widening my smile adding “I should have worn shorts instead if I knew I had an audience.”

“I’d like to have seen your legs.” The blonde who is named Lara tells me.

Laughing I enjoy the exchange I have with Lara who reciprocates my moves she doesn’t block them or try to tease me only to leave me hanging like a certain brunette has done.

“So Joe?” Questions Lara with a sexy smile “Is there anyone in your life at the moment?”

Obviously I go to say no but something stops me the pause I create goes on for what feels like days but it is only seconds that I do not even realise my phone had been ringing.

“So you have a girlfriend?” Scoffs Lara indicating that my silence meant I was seeing someone which was complete bullshit.

Looking at my phone screen indicated that Lilly had called me so making my excuses because I had fucked up whatever was happening here so I leave Lara shaking her head saying “Shame you were cute I hope she is worth it.”

Turns out that Sam had called in sick so I was needed for part of his shift which I accepted just so I had an excuse to get out of the park and of course because of the money as well.

“So are you going to behave today then?” Question Lilly appearing next to me just as I try to shove my backpack into my locker causing me to swear because she snuck up everywhere and I had been deep in thought about Lara.

“I’ll be good.” I grin back feeling bad suddenly that Riley wasn’t occupying my thoughts but that was soon about to change.

“Ok, swell!” Cheers Lilly rattling her bracelets on her wrists around in celebration until she adds “I take it you haven’t spoken to Riley yet?”

“Sadly no.” I tell her honestly shutting my locker door hard to signal that this conversation was over and I needed to get to the bar.

“It’s your own fault.” Lilly shakes her head at me looking almost sorry for me which I hated I didn’t need that piled on my conscience as well.

“Well I have been chatting to a blonde at the park.” I joke then suddenly want to take it back when I see Lilly’s face.

“I don’t know what mind games you and my niece are playing at.” Lilly tells me seriously “But if you mess Riley around you will have hell to pay my friend.”

All I do is nod because it had been a long time since I’d been told off and that had just felt like I’d been scolded by an angry parent who had to put me in my place because I had gotten out of control.

Sitting at a bench outside of Zane’s bar waiting for my friends later that day I finish one of my cigarettes only to have another instantly grabbing at the pack of smokes in frustration because I was both incredibly pissed off and horny right now.

I currently felt like a typical nice guy type from a terribly dated late night comedy film that had most probably come out in the noughties with the guy in question not getting any despite all of his obvious efforts.

Stubbing out the latest cigarette into the plastic ashtray in front of me I go to light yet another but pause when I hear a familiar voice tell me.

“You look like shit!” Pete yells gleefully in front of me.

“Sorry I didn’t dress up for you honey.” I dead pan making Pete rolls his eyes whilst I push down my dark blue hoodie from over my head despite the heat the evening was illuminating all around.

“Brendon is just getting the beers.” Pete explains sitting down opposite me.

“So how goes life?” I aim this question at Pete who nods back at me.

“Life is good.” Pete begins with a smirk then adds “How about you?”

I do not answer the loaded question instantly deciding how much I wanted to actually give away to Pete who had played a part in putting me in this awful mood which I really needed to kick to the curb and soon.

“I’ve been better.” I inform him finally as I begin to tap my lighter onto the now half empty cigarette pack sat in front of me.

“Has Riley finally seen sense and given you a bone?” Questions Pete just when Brendon appears with the beer sitting down next to me with a childish laugh.

“Get lost dude.” I groan picking up the bottle of beer that Brendon has placed next to me.

“Well I’m bored hearing about you and Riley.” Brendon begins with a grin then states “I could write a whole fucking list of reasons why.”

“Yeah, all the positions that you’ve have put us in.” Pete adds making Brendon spit out some of his drink as he begins to giggle.

“What the fuck is your problem guys?” I ask clearly missing out on a private joke.

“I think you should ask Riley that one.” Brendon winks at me as I finish my drink then declare I am heading to the bar and not coming back until closing time.

“Don’t be like that!” Pete groans “We are only trying to help.”

“Like hell you are.” I retort heading to the bar alone to make all my wishes come true.

I knew it had been a bad idea meeting these guys tonight thinking wrongly that my mood would improve once I had a few beers but having only spent about ten minutes with them the mood I was trying to hide was just getting worse.

Stalking my way to the bar I decide to order two beers then drink them in quick succession one after the other chasing it with a shot of whiskey which helped me calm down and so with some more drinks in hand I eventually head back outside.

“He came back!” Brandon cheers when he spots me coming towards the bench.

“Beers.” I begin with a small smile then add “Like you fuckers even deserve them in the first place.” As I take a seat next to Pete.

“Has your mood improved now?” Questions Brendon.

“I’m fine.” I tell them feeling completely the opposite but a bar was the last place I was going to admit my feelings to either of these guys.

“Well listen to this.” Pete cuts into my thoughts whilst pointing at Brendon “Has this guy got a story for you!”

I barely listen to Brendon as he begins to tell us about some woman he had met in a local coffee house near here trying all his best chat up lines which he only reserved for the hottest of the hot or at least any female who looked a little interested in him.

“So I go over there.” Brendon smirks at Pete then glancing back at me adding “Use the most perfect line I could grab out of my ass and she allows me to sit down with her.”

“Was this woman hot?” Questions Pete almost as if he was reading from some imaginary script.

“Naturally.” Brendon nods “Otherwise I wouldn’t have used the parking ticket line.”

“How embarrassing.” I joke despite secretly feeling a bit jealous.

Getting way into his story I zone out from Brendon’s voice and find myself staring into space behind my friends head deciding that I needed to get back to that bar for another drink or five to really set the standard for the night.

Before I go to stand and just when Brendon is apparently getting to the climax of his story after the women he was sitting with almost spilled her coffee or something all over him and then Pete nudges me because he is laughing hard at my face but I haven’t a fucking clue why.

Right now in my vision I can see someone who has put a smile on my face I am not one hundred per cent sure it was her but as she turns round to face me almost as if she could sense my stare I see Lara wave over at me.

“Hey wait!” Pete pushes me hard again to get my attention “Did that hot blonde just wave at you?”

“That’s Lara.” I tell him with a wide grin.

“Who are you looking at?” Brendon snaps sounding pissed that I had interrupted his story.

“Brendon had an important reason why he was telling you that story.” Pete scolds me.

“You need to go to the coffee house-“

“Fuck that.” I state getting up from the bench as Lara waves over once again “I’m going to speak to Lara.”

“Well that didn’t work!” I hear Pete yell as the rest of his sentence gets lost from the noise of the crowds outside.

Surprised and a little happy that Lara was here in the flesh I head on over to the cool blonde deciding that now was the time to act like the apparent lothario a lot of my friends pegged me to me ignoring the fact of the loser that hid inside.

Maybe playing my cards right tonight could help me forget about Riley because I was in a selfish mood and I was in desperate need of getting lucky but my confident hand only last about five minutes until Pete decides to come over and ruin everything.

...........................................................................................................................

“What about Riley?” Questions Pete with a shake of his head.

“Shit, you really do have a girlfriend?” Asks Lara looking at me disgustedly.

“Joe having a girlfriend?” Repeats Pete with shocked look on his face until he bursts out into desperate laughter clutching at his stomach like he couldn’t control the urge at making me look like an asshole.

“I take it he is a friend of yours then?” Lara points at Pete.

“Sadly yes-“

“Joe if you hadn’t realised was trying to flirt with you very badly.” Pete cuts in then states “He is making up for not making it with a women named Riley who is someone he is desperate to be with.”

“Ah, how sweet!” Lara grins then adds “You didn’t have a chance with me anyway.”

Pete finds this hilarious whilst I feel my face redden but I doubted that anyone could see it under all my stubble instead they would spot the glare in my eyes as I head back to the bar leaving Pete with Lara.

By the time I have the guts to return to the bench because I can just imagine all the shit my friends are telling Lara but then I relax but she wasn’t Riley and I suddenly feel a lot less selfish because I kind of wish that it was her in the crowd instead waving me over.

Lara is caught completely up to speed even including how we met into the mix which makes Brendon pat me hard on the shoulder as I sit down next to him.

“Well I think this Riley must be an idiot.” Lara announces as Pete covers a hand over his mouth in fake shock.

“Oh, why is that Lara?” Asks Brendon with comic timing.

“Well Joe here is a catch.” Lara begins which turns things back round in my favour but only briefly.

“Damn straight.” Pete winks at me whilst I reward him with a dead pan look.

“So what are you going to do about it Joe?” Questions Lara in a challenging voice.

"This is our cue to leave.” Brendon tells Pete who he drags away from the bench but not without giving me a weird look.

The night begins to get interesting when talk between myself and Lara is replace by shots and easy flirting with no undertones or silent message present as things progress nicely and before I know it I am tracing the line of her jaw with a finger then leaning in for a kiss.

Having never really experienced this before it is a shock and I guess not normal when Riley enters my mind whilst I am making out with Lara which makes me feel bad and it affects my performance.

“Are you thinking about her?” Lara purrs in my ear leaning into my chest “I could make you forget you know.”

As appetising as that suggestion sounded I truly believed that Lara was a few years too late in her efforts of making me forget about Riley which hits me hard in the gut making me feel like this was all wrong I was following the wrong part of this story.

“I need to go.” I tell Lara leaving the blonde alone on the bench I tell her I am sorry but she doesn’t look too bothered as she pulls out her phone from the pocket on her tee shirt and I make my escape back to the apartment.

Drinking was supposed to numb my thoughts not multiply them and I wasn’t in the right state to reach to all these conclusions even though I suspected them long ago when the fuck did my life become some shitty soap opera?

It was so easy, I could see it as clear as day the path to Riley paved with apologies and perhaps then we could start again as friends because I needed her in life otherwise I was sure that I was doomed to repeat the crap day I had yesterday for eternity.

Laying on the floor of my apartment I hope that my friends don’t come to find me as I chain smoke a bunch of cigarettes thinking about Lara and how I had fucked that one up but maybe she had done me a favour. 

Either way things were surely coming to a head now I needed to just go find Riley talk to her then take it from there hopefully it wasn’t going to be as torturous as it felt it would be.

Cursing loudly I sit up as I recall how life had been when Riley was a distant memory frequent sex on tap with various women who all new the drill but I realise now that none of them ever compared to her.

All I needed to do was get Riley out of my system and there was only one way that I knew how. 

Getting up from the floor I go to clumsily grab my keys from the kitchen side wishing that Riley hadn’t been hurt to come back into my life what with her ex getting married fuck the dude was an idiot. 

But I needed to play it cool with Riley before my old college feelings resurfaced and I was going to start using words that I could never take back so easily.

Hours later loud banging wakes me as I realise I had fell asleep on the couch yet again and dragging my heavy body filled with regret and beer towards the door I open it then instantly wish I hadn’t.

................................................................................................................................................................

“There’s the douchebag!” Yells Pete loudly as I yank both him and Brendon inside my apartment.

“What the hell do you guys want?” I retort wanting to just go back to sleep not the third degree from them.

“It’s an intervention dude.” Brendon tells me drunkenly then adds “Just let me remember what for then we can begin!”

“Do you have any coffee?” Pete asks me and I nod heading into the kitchen to make a fresh pot because it seemed like it was going to be a long night.

Brendon manages to pass out anywhere as after several mugs later of black coffee he is crashed out on the living room floor whilst Pete explains to me how he got Lara’s number and I lost that one.  
“  
You clearly won.” I tell him whilst not actually caring a tiny bit which was new.

“Dude.” Pete grins at me “Let me tell you something.”

“Go on then...” I groan awaiting the onslaught of jokes aimed at my expense.

“All Riley will ever see you as is a friend.” Begins Pete cutting to the chase but then he reminds me why dropping everything and even cancelling a date with someone I had hooked up with were examples of where I would go and help her at any cost.

“Thanks for your pep talk.” I tell him sarcastically once he has finished with his monologue.

“Anytime Joe.” Pete nods then is asleep within moments on the couch next to me.

Sure I have slept with women and an awful lot less than what I would ever admit to any of my friends but I didn’t want to treat Riley like that we had history and it always appeared to get in the way.

There had been so many times when I could’ve gotten close to Riley like in the car for instance when we had been exchanging terrible chat up lines but by then she had met Rob I’d pushed her to him and ignored the bad feeling in my chest. 

Heading towards my bedroom I leave my friends in the living room like Riley had left me on her couch that time and I’d not been able to sleep because I had been thinking about how much I wanted to follow her and show her how I felt that very night.

I wake up in a dark room much later and I realise sadly my own bed as I hear quiet talking spotting a slither of light filtering through so I leave my friends to talk whilst I close my eye once more trying to understand how I felt when I saw Riley which was really lame.

But the brunette did something to me that shook me to my core and it had once again turned my life upside down I liked to use the line it was because we had history from college but I just needed to remember that I couldn’t fall in so deep like I had before.

It was worrying how I had forgotten about my ex Shona once Riley was back in my life trying to conceal my feelings because I was ready to meet other people and I was not ready to be in a relationship again anytime soon.

Maybe once we finally got between the sheets things would become clearer between me and Riley or at least we could still just be friends that worked out right?

I needed to stop taking things out on my friends and even Riley because I couldn’t count the amount the times we have both argued the air charged with our words and the hint of something more that if she only let me in then we could stop all this. 

Hearing Pete giggle outside makes my thoughts lead to coffee because I was really thirsty and I had a long day at work tomorrow where I would mostly be making a plan to salvage my friendship with Riley.

Finding my phone beside me on the bed I grab it and illuminate the room as I wake up the home screen wondering if it was a bad idea to message Riley would she just ignore it? 

Was she busy with Rob I hated that dude? 

It annoyed me beyond belief that she was making it with him and not me I remember the looks she has given me in the past so why did she always back away when things were about to get interesting? 

Deciding that I didn’t need to know the answer to all this right this very second I decide against sending a message dropping my phone instead thinking that all this could easily wait for one more night.

Pulling open my bedroom door I hear Pete say “Lilly can help us” but then Brendon notices me standing in front of them and he slaps Pete hard around the face to stop him talking anymore.

“Ouch!” Pete whines pathetically even though the slap had looked painful.

Not caring what they were up to because I was truly tired and I had my own ways of fucking things up with Riley anyway I didn’t need their help.

“Can you guys get the fuck out?” I ask pleadingly.

“Someone needs to be alone to jerk off.” Jokes Brendon I assume trying to lighten the mood but it doesn’t work.

Collapsing back into my bed when they have eventually left thoughts return to Riley like every other hour in the day my mind was set on her and my body was responding in the worse way.

Wake up in a cold sweat the next morning with a boner sure that wasn’t unusual for me but damn why did I have to wake up I had been having a delicious dream as I feel a little embarrassed that it was about Riley, naturally. 

Heading to the bathroom I manage to take a leak then finding my phone I see a message from Pete telling me he will coming to the bar this evening whilst I did the late shift we would walk to rehearsal soon after and to message Patrick because it was his turn to bring some beer along. 

Splashing some cold water onto my face I check my reflection telling myself I looked ok and I was a good guy but bad thoughts from my dream re-enter my mind making me groan at my reflection and my body because I just needed to forget about it otherwise I would do something I’d regret.


	25. Hard Times

..................................................................................................................................................................................................................  
Trying to ignore the stinging feeling thanks to Jeremy hitting me on my lip I continue walking towards Pizza Urge one of the best places to get a slice in town hands down.

The sky was turning that pretty deep purple colour after the sun had finally gone to bed welcoming the early evening which hadn’t played out how I’d imagined it would do.

Sure the night was still in its early stages but what had happened at Slater’s made me feel good that closure had been performed and we would all come out alive.

Of course there were to be casualties that was life but I hoped that Rob and Amy sorted things out and I was never to be included ever again.

Jeremy was a creep who didn’t even deserve my opinion of him but the guy bought it upon himself I was sure it was because of the friends he kept.

At the end of the day all three of them were as bad as each other so I silently wished Rob luck for whatever fate Amy was going to bestow on him because it was going to be bad.

I had obviously made a lucky escape really despite having felt something for Rob at the beginning but I was glad things had ended this way before they could have gotten very complicated.

My life was already filled with complications the majority of my own doing so one less thing to worry over would be the start of something new but like with everything it all just lead back to Joe.

What if I had actually skipped going on my date with Rob in the first place and then headed straight into my college friend’s bed instead would I still be feeling like this now?

It wasn’t as if I was mourning the end of me and Rob that hadn’t even been an official thing just someone to pass the time with until I ended up with someone else who could help me with my little list.

The right women would have to teach Rob about his lack of sexual experience with him thinking about number one instead of trying to satisfy the person he was having sex with which wasn’t just an obligation.

Sure there had been times I’d thought he was cute but I now see I was hanging out with completely the wrong guy and once again I only had myself to blame.

I was back to being a party of one wanting nothing more than to have Joe call me and say he was sorry then everything else would just naturally fall into place.

That wasn’t going to happen anytime soon because I knew Joe was as stubborn as me seeing that if he wasn’t I was sure one of us would have made a move long ago and we wouldn’t be in this fucking mess.

All I needed to do was swallow my pride or what very little I had left of it and actually speak to Joe myself standing in front of him waiting for his next move.

I really wanted to see Joe I decide suddenly as I walk into Pizza Urge joining the queue which there always was but I was being held back because I was a total fucking coward and my mind wasn’t sure what to think.

What I did know was that I needed to pig out on some junk food right now because the beers I had with Rob were making my stomach hurt because I was absolutely starving.

Buying two slices for yourself was a selfish move but it wasn’t like I had any other place to be or anyone to meet sort of so I could spoil myself for once I think I deserved it.

Ouch! 

Eating made my lip hurt but that wasn’t going to stop me because this meat feast pizza was heaven and I didn’t care how I looked which was something I wasn’t used to.

Sure sitting alone looked a little sad but right now I was my best company by myself so I could stew because that was what I did best seeing that I rarely acted on impulse it just wasn’t me.

Or I did and that was why my life was a mess right now my only constant being my friends and of course work which helped me get by and I liked to think I was helping the kids Harley and Zoe in some way.

A group of four teenagers in their late teens were eyeballing me to move as I sat back in my seat for a few moments until I got up chucking away the paper plate heading outside alone.  
...........................................................................................................................................................  
Unsure where to go next from here I didn’t want the night to end like this because the idea of going home alone sounded too depressing.

Gina and Casey had their lives sure they were my best friends but it was my turn to kick start my life for real this time no take backs because I was ready to burst with annoyance.

How could I still be so fucking indecisive I was well into my late twenties and I should know better by now because I made looking like an idiot so easy when it was truly a skill.

My high from earlier had well and truly vanished right now so I was left feeling a little low and like I was missing out on something that everyone else knew about but didn’t want to share the joy with me.

The idea of apologising to Joe was a scary one because sure I had in the past but we hadn’t argued like this before and I wasn’t sure why my friend had decided to set me up with someone named Doug?

That was yet another puzzle piece to add to the jumbled mess of all the other pieces that was my life currently because that had confused me the most.

If I did actually meet up with this guy would I just be calling Joe’s bluff or were his intentions to help me hook up purely platonic and just something an old friend would do to help?

It wasn’t as if I had the time to be overthinking this because it had been a good few days since me and Joe had argued so I bet he was well over it all anyway unlike me.

I just hoped that he didn’t expect me to come running to find him somehow then piece together the right words to apologise for being a bit of a bitch and then come clean about the stupid list.

But as I continue walking aimlessly through town I begin to imagine Joe with other women clearly now he was bored with me he had moved on and the idea makes me feel rather jealous.

Stopping in my tracks as this thought hits me I feel the need for Joe’s attention more than anything almost as if to prove a point that I was still desirable because I really didn’t feel like it at the moment.

It was as if I suddenly craved to be in the same room as Joe to see what would happen if we were in close proximity together and if what everyone had been saying about us was true.

Then I would just jump the guys bones whilst pretending to ignore all of the over analysing my brain tried to figure out daily but every time I came to the conclusion that I wasn’t cut out for this.

Yet I couldn’t deny that around Joe I felt more myself than I ever was with Will but that was just because he was an old friend and I had wanted to be with my ex forever at one point.

But that had been then because now I couldn’t think of anything worse than being with my ex because he had made me the person I was now and I hated it.

Sure I was passing the blame onto someone else seeing that only I could change my future and failing that current emotion seeing that right now my brain was going to explode.

All this overthinking on a full stomach was doing nothing to help me as I stop once again in the street trying to take stock of my current situation because I needed to figure out some kind of end game here.

The night was escaping from me and I didn’t want it to end all alone because that was a truly sad thought one that I’ve lived with for several months.

I must have suddenly cut a very sorry figure for myself despite wearing one of my most confidence boosting outfits because two passing women stop in front of me just as I was considering my next move.

“What the hell has happened to you?” Questioned a brunette worryingly blinking several times before she leaned forward to check out my face which made me feel very self-conscious.

“Just another case of hooking up with the wrong guy.” I dead pan quickly hoping the two women in front of me would leave me be for a few moments.

“Now that is a problem all of us face at least once-“

“More than once in my case!” Cuts in the brunette’s friend a pretty blonde who introduces herself as Bella.

“That’s why I will forever stay single.” States the brunette whose name is Sarah.

“I just need to go home.” I tell the women with a shrug thinking it was about time I cut all of my losses and finally gave up on tonight.

“All because of some guy?” Snorts Sarah who adds “Honey, there are plenty more of them around here and the night is still young.”

“I know someone else who would tell me exactly the same thing.” I smile as an image of Pete appears in my mind complete with cheeky grin and “told you so” shrug of his shoulders.

“Well go ahead and listen!” Bella points a finger at me “Forget about this one guy and find someone else to take home with you.”

“It isn’t that easy.” I state then regret it as both women grin at me like I am missing out on something and I am the only one who hasn’t a clue because that was exactly how I felt all day every day.

“Oh, she needs our help!” Sarah grins at Bella whilst I shake my head in the negative.

“You don’t want to get involved.” I joke then state for luck “I’m a lost case and my story is pretty boring.”

“Well now I want to hear all about it!” Bella winks at me.

Before I know it I am telling the two strangers in front of me a very short version of recent events which have them laughing, gasping and finally Sarah patting me on the shoulder.

“You do know what I am going to say don’t you?” Bella questioned once I had reached the climax of my story which still didn’t have an ending unless you counted Joe never talking to me again.

“I have an idea.” I retort not looking forward to the reply.

“This Joe needs to get his-“

Thankfully my phone begins to ring before Sarah attempts to finish her sentence so I quickly grab it from my bag taking a step back from my new friends with a shy smile.

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Pressing the green button on the screen mindlessly I answer the call then curse inwardly when I hear Pete’s voice fill my ears seeing I have never truly trusted this guy because he loved messing with people’s heads.

But his heart was in the right place, sometimes.

“OMG is it Joe?” Screeches Bella clapping her hands excitedly.

“Go to him!” Sarah states placing her right hand over her chest looking like she was about to cry with happiness.

“Hello, Riley?” Pete yells down the line whilst I hear loud noises in the background as I shake my head at the two women in front of me a smile playing on my lips.

“I’m here.” I finally reply in way of a greeting.

“Friendly as always.” Jokes Pete with a laugh as I continue to hear muffled voices in the background then hear my friend add “Let me cut to the chase here and ask what you are up to on this fine evening.”

“Busy.” I tell him noncommittally hoping the answer will end this line of questioning and hopefully this phone call.

“Is that really him?!” Yells Bella loudly making me cringe.

“Who are you with?” Questions Pete obviously overhearing Bella who is making rude gestures with her hands currently whilst nodding at me.

“I’ve met some new friends-“

“So you already have plans?” Asks Pete with genuine disbelief present in his voice which hurts a little but I let the moment pass.

“I do actually.” I lie because the night was very close to ending for me unless I found something to do but I wasn’t sure I would like what Pete was going to suggest to me.

“Go get some action!” Shouts Sarah excitedly knocking into me.

“Joe won’t know what has hit him!” Bella states.

“Have you been talking about Joe?” Asks Pete with a teasing laugh hearing my new friends.

“No!” I snap feeling my face turn a deep red.

“Lies. “Pete begins with a laugh then adds “Moping about in front of the TV doesn’t count.” Which makes me roll my eyes towards the sky.

“Actually I am outside I have been-“

“On a date?” Cuts in Pete his voice full of teasing as usual.

“The opposite actually.” I dead pan with a small smile.

“Well either way it sounds like complete bullshit!” Pete informs me with a bored yawn.

“Why would I lie to you?” I question with a scoff and then a curse noticing my new friends smiling at me.

“It isn’t Joe.” I tell them placing my hand over the speaker so Pete couldn’t hear me.

“So you were talking about-“

“Shame.” Cuts in Bella with a sigh as I ignore whatever Pete was about to say.

“You still need to go get him!” Sarah nods whilst I meekly do the same back.

“Well this is where we part ways.” Bella informs me even though I had only met them a few minutes ago clearly I was a lost cause.

Continuing to ignore whatever Pete was saying in the background I embrace in an awkward three way hug with Bella and Sarah holding my phone at arm’s length.

“Have fun.” Sarah smiles at me as I nod back then with a small wave the two women stumble off a head into the night.

“Are you even listening to me?” I hear Pete shout down the line muffled.

“Why would I ever listen to you and your idiotic-“ 

“Because I need you to shut the fuck up right now and listen!” Pete cuts me off angrily which does in fact cause me to stop talking.

“So I’ve finally got your attention then?” Questions Pete after a few moments.

“Go on…” I sigh knowing full well that I was going to regret those words even though Pete sounded really serious suddenly which was very unlike him.

“Ok.” Pete begins calmly then continues “So I need you to go pick up some beers and then head to my friends record store because you clearly have nothing else on this evening.”

“Why in the hell would I go do that?” I ask ignoring the tone in Pete’s voice which suggested that I was a loser if I didn’t do this one thing.

“Just do it Riley!” Pete snaps as he hangs up on me and I am left staring at my phone wondering what the hell had just happened.

Having zero idea what it was I would be walking into heading over there either some horrible trick courtesy of Pete or perhaps Joe would be there waving a white flag at me whilst apologising for being such a jerk.

But that wasn’t going to happen because I was sure that Joe was expecting me to say sorry to him what for exactly I had no idea but all I knew was that I was in the right and he was so wrong.

Just to spite him I should actually meet up with this Doug guy and prove I am good at this little thing called flirting even though Joe kept making me second guess myself.

Looking back I do not see the two women who I had told my story to wishing that I had at least made it sound a little more interesting because all of this was even getting old to me. 

............................................................................................................................................................................................................

Deciding to walk ahead I guess all there was to do right now was make a stop in the nearest liquor store to grab some beers then head on over to the record store to see what the actual hell was going on.

Standing in the queue waiting to be served I cradle the two packs of beers in my arms wondering if this was actually enough did I need more to be able to get through this.

Because it has crossed my mind several times too many whilst walking around here in the store that in fact Pete just wanted me to come along so he could wind me up.

Unless Pete already had some kind of plan set in motion which was bound to fail I just hoped I wasn’t going to get humiliated because once in one night was more than enough for me.

I had escaped Rob and his weird love triangle he was a part of thankfully but if Pete or even worse Brendon were up to something then I don’t think I could jump back so easily.

Handing over my cash to the cashier I place the two packs of beer into a brown paper bag then once I am done I head back out into the night briefly wondering if I should call Gina and bring back up with me.

Feeling super nervous I try to ignore the feeling that all the pizza I had eaten earlier was going to make a reappearance soon on the pavement in front of me.

It was either do this or run back to Gina’s apartment with the beer and get drunk alone as I pondered the what ifs until I passed out repeating the process until everyone got bored with me.

As inviting as that did sound I knew deep down that I had to do this so keeping my pace I continue on wards feeling my heart throb in my chest from a mixture of fear and hoping.

Channelling the energy from the two women I had met earlier which most likely had been fuelled by alcohol I try to remain positive hoping that the stars were aligned just right so tonight would be one to remember.

For all of the right reasons of course because the last thing I wanted right now was for Joe to have all his friends with him and we had to air this all out in public in front of them.

Stopping at the record store I am surprised to see no one outside to greet me also noticing that it looked pretty dark inside making me wonder if this was all just a trick courtesy of Pete.

Well I was here now and there was only one way to find out so knocking hard on the door I wait and then wait some more which results in me yelling out loud in frustration because this wasn’t how I had imagined things to pan out.

“Yeah keep walking.” I inform a couple who were both giving me a funny look as they pass me by but I was beyond caring.

“This was such a bad idea!” I snap more to myself than anyone else as I hit the door once more for luck cursing all the while.

Next thing I know a figure unlocks the door in front of me as I make out a shadow which almost makes me drop the beer out of my arms in the process.

........................................................................................................................................................................................................

Joe silently takes in the scene in front of him of me standing there clumsily holding the beers up against my chest trying to read the blank look on his face.

“Pete ordered me to come along here.” I state then instantly regret it because that line was almost as bad as Baby saying to Johnny Castle that she carried a watermelon.

Almost.

“Of course he did.” Joe snaps as he turns round then heading back inside the record store I quickly follow behind him looking at the floor whilst he locks up.

Looking back up I realise that we are all alone because the lights were off in the actual store but shards of light were illuminating the floor at the back and it was very quiet.

Briefly I imagined Pete and even Brendon jumping out from the dark to scare the living shit out of me but the moment passes and the store remains silent.

Joe walks past me towards the back where I had gone before following him past the small kitchen to the rehearsal space where I take a seat on one of the couches placing the beers next to me.

Feeling Joe watch me I try to think of something to say just to break the silence which was driving me insane but instead I cross one leg over the other realising that this was exactly the same outfit I had been wearing the last time I was here.

Get a grip Riley! 

I then recall me and Joe making out outside before Pete had spoiled the fun which was something he did so well but what I didn’t understand right now was what the hell was I doing here?

I didn’t feel that it was me who had to apologise here it was all Joe’s fault that I was here anyway feeling very nervous for the quiet between us it was making the room feel very warm.

Watching Joe stand in front of me with an unreadable look still present on his face I notice not for the first time how good he looks wearing all black as I try and fail to ignore the rush of warmth the thought brings to my body.

Clearing my throat as I sit up a little straighter on the couch I decide to grab a couple of the beers from the bag next to me leaning forward as I hand one to Joe who accepts it.

“I’ve been busy with some writing.” Joe begins finally breaking his silence as if the beer had been an ice breaker and we weren’t going to be sitting here all night not saying a single word to one another.

“Cool.” I reply not really sure what else to say so I nod as well for luck.

“The others were here earlier but I sent them all packing to “Upside Down” because they were truly pissing me off.” Joe states with an annoyed look on his face.

“So that is where Pete is now?” I question and Joe nods in the affirmative.

“I thought this was all some kind of Joke Pete was pulling on me.” I explain to Joe who mutters something under his breath which I do no catch and he doesn’t repeat it.

“The guy can be a dick at times.” Joe informs me with a dark look in his eyes which both worries me and turns me on at the same time because he looked angry and also hot as hell.

“Especially when we were at college.” I dead pan then wish I hadn’t because that night at the party comes back to me in hideous technicolour.

Taking a long drink of beer we both fall silent stuck in our own thoughts me wishing that I hadn’t of bought up college as I sneak a look at Joe who looks deep in thought himself.

“But that was over eight years ago I cannot believe he is like the same guy he was then it is like no time has passed at all.” I babble feeling like an idiot for even speaking because my mouth was ignoring my brain which was telling me to shut the hell up.

“I think I have changed for the better.” I continue feeling the need to talk as Joe is watching me closely “Sure my life isn’t perfect but I’ve learned a lot since that night and I believe I am all the better for it.”

.......................................................................................................................................................................

Moving forward Joe stands right in front of me just as I run out of things to say in my head and it was time to finally face the music.

“I am sorry for being a bitch recently.” I tell Joe honestly waving my imaginary white flag in his direction making the first move at apologising even though I vowed that I wouldn’t.

Noticing the change in Joe’s face makes me smile as his features softens and then he eventually speaks.

“Well it isn’t all your fault entirely.” Joe begins then states “I’ve just been trying to help you but maybe I was being a little too full on in the process as well.”

His words make me remember the other day in Gina’s kitchen then back at his place where I had wanted nothing more than to have sex with the guy in front of me. 

“Doug truly is a nice guy.” Joe continues which bursts my bubble a little but I try to let the thought pass quickly.

“Anyway.” Joe smiles as I look up at his handsome face “I’ve missed out chats so I better apologise myself because I don’t want us to fall out permanently over this.”

“Then wait another eight years until we bump into one another again.” I joke which makes Joe chuckle at me and I smile with pleasure as he takes up the seat next to me on the couch.

If I had felt hot from watching Joe as he stood across the room I was sure that right now I was going to suddenly combust because the guy took up so much space as he sat next to me. 

Silently I tell Joe in my head that I have missed us flirting together and I’ve imagined us doing so many things together that it would probably make him blush.

Doubtful.

“What are you smiling about?” Joe asks me as I try and fail not to blush whilst feeling caught out like the guy could read my thoughts and knew just what I had been imagining in my mind.

“Nothing!” I tell him shaking my head suddenly feeling my face get crimson red hot as I decide that I would really like something to happen here this evening.

“Your guilty face is adorable.” Joe teases me as I roll my eyes back at him.

“I have nothing to be guilty about.” I inform Joe despite the fact I felt that maybe I should apologise to him for all the daydreams I have had about him recently.

“Anyway.” Joe nudges my leg with his right knee adding “I’m glad Pete called you because I was getting bored here all alone.”

“Glad to have finally listened to him.” I smirk back at Joe knowing that I had made exactly the right move by coming here.

“Bet Lilly is having a great time chatting to the guys.” Joe mentions which makes me look up from my now empty beer can with a look of pure horror on my face.

“Oh shit!” I stand up from the couch quickly letting the can of beer drop to the floor adding “I really need to get going like now.” 

“If you’re worried about Lilly with the guys they are all –“

“I’m actually more worried about what she will say to them about us!” I cut him off knowing that everyone was fully involved whenever it came to me and Joe.

“Oh don’t worry about them.” Joe brushes off my comment with a cheeky grin but I am officially worried that my aunt is finding out far too much.

“I think I need to go.” I tell Joe again about ready to leave the rehearsal space but then he grabs onto my left wrist to stop me and I remain rooted to the spot.

“I need company.” Joe tells me then states “Look we have all we need here beer, some cool tunes courtesy of “Depeche Mode” and finally we are all alone together to just hang out.”

“Sounds good to me.” I tell Joe with a nod as he hands me another beer and I raise it in the air with a smile now this was exactly what I needed.

We chat easily with the music on low in the background and there is no ulterior motives not even a hint of flirting between us which felt good but I was left wanting more.

“As I said before I am so glad you came round here.” Joe grins at me adding “I’ve wanted to say I am sorry for messing things up ever since I walked away.”

“That’s ok.” I shrug my shoulders stating “The argument we had was kind of needed I guess to clear the air because things have been getting pretty heated between us.”

“Well Doug can be the guy to help you with that.” Joe begins then quickly looking like he wanted to backtrack states “Unless I’m good enough for you.”

“You are too good!” I joke nudging Joe in his side with my elbow as he considers this then nods with a wicked grin on his face.

Looking into Joe’s blue eyes I decide that I would love nothing more right now than for him to stop talking as he continues to babble like I had earlier and to just kiss me again.

Because the sooner we had sex then the sooner everything would be ok sure we both apologised but the air between us felt even more charged unless I was just imagining it.

All I wanted besides Joe taking me right here, right now, was for no more problems to arise between us no awkward moments because it would be out there over and done with.

Then we could focus on being friends without any issues perhaps asking for help with the sex list at last and see where that lead us at least for the summer.

But most importantly all this would hopefully end the little crush I had on Joe which I think it was time I finally admitted to even myself.

“Earth to Riley!” Joe waves a hand in front of my face as I notice him watching me as I had obviously zoned out once again daydreaming about the guy in front of me.

The guy I had a pretty huge crush on it appeared making me feel like a giggly teenager all over again which I knew was not a good look for a late-twenty something.

“I’m ok!” I squeak noticing that I was in need of another beer so I grab one from next to Joe’s thigh as he is oblivious of all the conflict in my mind and he begins to talk about his writing instead.

............................................................................................................................................................................................................

Continuing with my thoughts my mind drifts back to the idea of actually meeting this Doug with a clear head and not like I was going to ignite thanks to all the heat.

That was how I felt sitting next to Joe still surely he could feel all the heat radiating from my body wishing that I had the nerve to actually make a move whilst I sat here on the verge of going super nova.

“Are you even listening to me?” I hear Joe ask breaking into my thoughts as I look back at him to see he is staring at me.

“Sure.” I smile biting my bottom lip which still sings a little as I try not to laugh at my own stupidity.

“So you admit that you love me then?” Joe teases as I widen my eyes.

“I barely have a crush on you.” I scoff trying to sound flippant but it doesn’t work instead I am rewarded with a huge smirk from Joe.

“That’s a lie.” Joe continues to tease me then states “Your face says it all!”

“Ok then.” I hold my hands in the air above my head then add “I cannot get enough of you Trohman!” 

“I knew it!” Joe points a finger at me stating “I bet you spend hours of your day daydreaming about me and how good I am in bed.”

“I do no such thing!” I snap trying to look annoyed rather than caught out could Joe actually read my mind or something.

“You are so easy to read.” Jokes Joe “Also to wind up no wonder Pete has a field day when you are around him.”

“I like to think he is like that with everyone.” I retort “But sure ever since meeting him at college the guy has enjoyed making me look like an idiot.”

“A cute idiot.” Joe grins.

“Well I don’t need the help.” I dead pan “Clearly my life shows that I am a mess I do not need the encouragement.”

“All you need is a nudge in the right direction.” Joe tells me seriously.

“Are you trying to proposition me again?” I question making Joe laugh deeply even throwing his head back in the process seeing that obviously I was way off the mark once again.

“Oh you would know if I was!” Winks Joe making me blow out a sharp intake of breath that I didn’t know I had been holding in.

“Well count me ready then!” I state back daringly not even having lots of alcohol to blame because I actually meant it this was me being honest for once and owning it.

“Like right now?” Joe asks moving closer to me on the couch keeping eye contact the whole time like he was trying to read me then his eyes drift down to my lip which I am biting in anticipation.

“You look so sexy when you-“

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

“Hey Riley you actually listened to me for once!” Cuts in Pete with a loud laugh as his disgustingly smug face appears from round the corner of the door then suddenly disappears again.

“Do you guys have your clothes back on?” Questions Keith walking into the rehearsal space regardless of an answer with a childish smirk on his face.

I notice Joe move away from me on the couch placing a hand behind his neck looking quite angry that we had actually been interrupted whilst all I wanted to do was hide behind somewhere in embarrassment.

Not that any funny business had taken place between us but I was sure Keith and the others who were all in the room right now got a sense that something possibly had been about to happen.

Talk about bad timing!

“We ran out of beer at the bar.” Jordan tells us making me roll my eyes because I could just see my aunt trying to chuck them all out.

“But we got more!” Patrick informs me with a smile sitting in the seat that Joe had just vacated practically pushing Pete out the room so they could go and have a private chat.

Now this was exactly the scene I had expected to see coming here earlier this evening so it seemed fitting that the guys chose one of the worst possible moments to appear.

All I needed to know right now was what the hell was it that Joe was going to say to me I had a pretty good idea of course but I wanted to finally hear it from the guy himself.

“Your aunt is really cool.” Keith states making me look up and nod back at him.

“I just wish I had gotten the digits from that blonde behind the bar.” Begins Jordan with a grunt then asks “What was her name again?”

“Was it Elise?” I question knowing the answer already I add “If so she is seeing a guy she works with named Max.”

“I could make her change her mind.” Jordan informs me with a loud belch which I begged to disagree but I wasn’t about to voice that opinion.

“It is good to see you back at the record store.” Nods Andy sitting down on the floor stretching his legs out in front of him an easy smile playing over his face.

“What can I say.” I smirk with a grin then state “I cannot stay away.”

“Joe has that way with women.” Keith informs me “It appears he keeps coming back to you.”

“To me?” I question not sure where Keith was going with this currently.

“All this time he’s been after you-“

“Who wants a beer?” Cuts in Patrick giving Keith a look who shrugs it off then falls to the floor holding his right hand in the air so someone could chuck him a drink.

What had Keith meant by that? Why were all of Joe’s friends being so cryptic? 

I think it was time I left these guys to it they have totally ruined my chances but I wasn’t going to hold a grudge against them for that.

Or was I?

But something kept me sitting on that couch so I find myself staying for a few more hours well after midnight glancing up at the door hoping that Joe would return back in the rehearsal space.

Faking a yawn I finally decide to give up trying to get up from the couch ready to make my escape because sure three was a crowd but there were way too many people here all voicing their opinions and I was sick of hearing it.

“You cannot go yet!” Patrick tells me as I notice all of the beers have gone so I think tonight was well and truly over.

“I can’t hear Joe yelling at Pete anymore.” Andy grins up at me still on the floor watching Jordan who is once again glued to his phone intently looking at the screen.

“It’s getting late.” I tell everyone in the room so they all got the hint that I was leaving because I didn’t want to repeat myself once again.

“Where are you off to?!” Pete questions making me curse that he has chosen yet another bad moment to appear it was like he just knew how to annoy me.

“Home.” I tell Pete non-committedly hoping that he would just step to one side and let me walk past him.

“Ok, sure.” Pete nods then leaning forward he says into my ear “Go and say goodbye to Joe he is outside.” 

..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Nodding silently I wave at all the other guys then quickly head outside to see Joe mumbling to himself outside then rubbing a hand angrily over his face as he tells himself what an idiot he is.

“You’re not an idiot.” I tell Joe who quickly looks up from staring at the wall in front of him dropping his cigarette to the floor in the process but he doesn’t bother to pick it back up.

“I’m an idiot to still be friends with those guys.” Joe points back inside the record store with a lazy grin that begins to warm me up all over again.

“Yeah true.” I joke then state “Because if they hadn’t of come crashing back here then we would be still on the couch.”

“Things had been getting interesting.” Joe smiles stepping closer towards me.

“But sadly I must go now.” I began very unconvincingly even to my own ears.

“Oh no don’t go!” Begins Joe pleadingly then asks “Let’s continue to hang out.” 

“What with those guys?” I question with a grin then add “They are all wasted and getting very rude.”

“Let’s go somewhere a little quieter then.” Joe nudges me on the shoulder as he guides me back into the record store walking towards a narrow set of stairs which he tells me to walk up.

“Where are we going?” I question when I reach the top of the stairs looking round to see Joe checking out my ass.

“This is Pete’s apartment.” Joe informs me not even looking shamefaced that I had caught him looking at me inappropriately.

“Won’t Pete come back up here?” I question.

“Doubtful he is keeping the other’s busy downstairs with some vodka he found in the store’s kitchen.” Joe grins at me as I nod because that was a good plan.

“No interruptions then?” I ask approvingly.

Joe raises an eyebrow then nods which is good enough for me as I push open Pete’s door walking into the small apartment which had a very ugly looking couch to the right of us.

“Let me give you the tour.” Joe smirks in a terrible TV host style voice as I follow him round the surprisingly messy apartment which had clothes strewn everywhere alongside a snot green skateboard, various music magazines and CD’s.

“It’s a nice place.” I nod not really knowing what else to say because Joe had taken my hand as we’d walked inside together and my mind kind of went blank after that.

“It isn’t even like he stays here much.” Joe informs me adding “The dude likes to crash at my place all the time making a mess.”

“Pete is always causing trouble.” I nod with a smile looking down to see Joe still holding my hand but he notices and moves it away from mine which briefly makes me sad.

“Let’s not talk about Pete anymore.” Joe states pulling a face which makes me giggle as we stop in front of the ugly grey couch and both sit down.

“I can deal with that.” I tell Joe seriously.

“So, do you want a drink?” Joe questions but I shake my head feeling tired all of a sudden until I hear Rob’s voice of all people in my head telling me to just go for it with Joe and fuck him.

Unlike on the couch downstairs here things felt a little different sure I still felt that heat radiating from me because Joe was staring at my legs I noticed not very subtly either.

It was almost as if Joe was looking a little nervous seeing that his face reminded me of how he had looked at college it was pretty adorable so I decided to silently lean my head on his shoulder.

“I don’t know if I have mentioned that I really like this outfit.” Joe tells me as he places a hand on top of one of my thighs adding “You need to wear it a lot more often.”

Almost as if I had imagined the nervous look on Joe’s face I see it has been replaced by a dorky grin which makes me smile back at him.

“You are such a dork.” I joke then state “But a sweet one at that.”

...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Leaning forward I go to kiss Joe on the cheek affectionately but get his lips instead as he grabs my face pulling me closer towards him almost hungrily as we make out on Pete’s couch.

This was the reason why I was here why I finally listened to Pete, why I took advice from Rob even though he was an ass and why I didn’t want this to ever stop.

Feeling my heart race because this is what I have wanted for a long time all the flirting between us had to end up here or there was going to be casualties.

All I needed to do now was finally evoke the sex list then things could go back to normal whatever that was but I knew this was a good sign of things to come and I was very excited by this prospect.

This was more than two friends making out which a lot of films told you was a terrible idea anyway but if this was wrong I was afraid to find out what was right between us.

Firstly I was going to let Joe continue to kiss me because he was very good at it and if he kept doing that thing with his tongue over mine I was going to literally melt. 

Moving forward Joe guides his body over mine as our embrace ends and I end up sinking into the surprisingly soft couch onto my back looking up into blue eyes as our lips connect once more.

“You are good at that.” Pausing for breath Joe smiles down at me as I watch him trace one of his hands down the front of my tee shirt then gently he begins to pull it from my skirt.

“Let’s make things more interesting.” I tell him as Joe’s lip meet mine yet again.

Next thing I know I find my hands pulling up the back of his tee shirt as he wrestles himself out of it which makes me giggle as his head gets stuck but he then pulls himself free chucking the offending item down on the floor next to us.

Placing my hands on his bare chest finally I enjoy the sensation of his hands meanwhile as they glide up to the tops of my thighs pushing my skirt up with it as well.

Thankfully I was wearing a good pair of underwear but I was sure none of that mattered right now and Joe wouldn’t care that it matched seeing the look of pure lust in his eyes as he begins to kiss the exposed skin from under my tee shirt.

............................................................................................................................................................................................................

“You can’t go up there you guys!” Hearing Pete’s voice at the same time the apartment door opens accompanied by a huge crash which makes me go still.

“Where’s the action at?” Keith slurs making me panic so I sit up in a rush not really paying attention so my elbow hits Joe square on the nose making him curse loudly.

Joe stands up quickly next to the couch holding his nose whilst I push down my tee shirt and skirt hoping nobody could see me as I close my eyes hoping that this was all just a bad dream.

“Were you guys finally getting down to it?” Asks Jordan with a smug grin as he holds up his phone blinding both myself and Joe because he was taking pictures.

“Dude.” Joe growls then adds “Fuck!” About ten times for luck.

Running both his hand through his hair Joe looked very dishevelled whilst I felt like my heart was jumping out of my chest all the while my libido was feeling pretty put out once again.

“I’m sorry guys I-“

“I need to go!” I yell cutting off whatever Pete was about to say sounding like a crazy person ignoring the looks that both Jordan and Keith were giving me as I pass them by then try to rush off out of this apartment as quickly as possible.

“Hey Riley!” I hear Joe shout but I am on a mission to get out of here even though I run straight into Patrick who is standing awkwardly with Andy at the bottom of the stairs.

“I-I need to go.” I tell them with a stutter as I blindly walk outside into the balmy night air where I suddenly find it hard to breathe because I realise I am hyperventilating.

.................................................

Oh god that had been so embarrassing!

Sure it had been fun but I bet Pete orchestrated that little set up on purpose them walking in on us what if we had actually been having sex because things had started to heat up pretty quickly back there.

I was never going to trust Pete ever again I was an idiot to come here this evening seeing that as usual I was the butt of everyone else’s joke.

“Riley!” I hear Joe yell making me turn round to see him jog up then stop in front of me looking just as unhappy.

“I’m sorry for hitting you with my elbow.” I tell him in a small voice because I was still smarting from what had just happened but that had genuinely been an accident.

“I’m sorry my friends are all assholes.” Joe retorts with a smile.

“Well if this proves anything it is a sign that we shouldn’t be messing about like this.” I state deciding that this was the last straw how many more times was fate or whatever going to try and stop me and Joe.

“I doubt that someone is trying to conspire against us.” Teases Joe who adds “Unless you count Pete.”

“Let’s just forget it!” I hold my hands up in front of Joe feeling a wave of humiliation wash over me again so I add “I can’t keep doing this!”

“What running away when things get hard?” Joe questions with a grin trying to make light of what had just happened in Pete’s apartment.

“That isn’t funny.” I state biting my bottom lip in frustration wanting nothing more than to continue where I and Joe had left off just not on that ugly grey couch.

“Riley I am so-“

“Forget it Pete!” I cut him off as the devil himself appears next to Joe so I tell them both I needed to go and walk off what had just happened I would see them around.

“I could walk you back?” Joe questions pushing Pete away who looks like he is about to say something but thinks better of it and heads back towards the store.

“I will be ok by myself.” I tell Joe thanking him for the offer.

“But I have something kind of important I wanted to talk about with you I was going to mention it earlier but things got a little carried away.” Joe states rubbing the back of his neck with one of his hands looking both sexy and adorable at the same time.

“Can it wait?” I ask even though I was a little curious so I add “I need to be alone for a little while.”

“Err, sure.” Joe nods at me even though his face tells a different story like he wanted me to stay here and hear what he had to say.

Awkwardly Joe waves goodbye to me as he finally lets me continue my walk of shame back to Gina’s apartment even though we hadn’t exactly sealed the deal.

......................................................................................................................................................................................................

Feeling like an idiot I try to think of anything other than Joe, his friends and that stupid fucking sex list which was more of a pain than pleasure which wasn’t what I needed at this very moment.

Despite my best efforts I cannot help but wonder what it was what Joe wanted to talk to me about I was sure it wasn’t something good seeing my track record of late had been full of shit.

When was I going to get a break?

I didn’t care how crazy I sounded when I said that there must be something stopping me and Joe from having sex because every time things got interesting we got stopped.

It was as if we could be nothing more than just platonic friends even though I had acquired an idiotic crush on the guy but that was my own fault.

Taking a deep breath I continue walking home hoping that Gina was at the apartment because I needed to vent and there was no way I was going to sleep anytime soon.

“So how did it go?” Gina asks me as soon as I walk into the living room noticing my roommate was thankfully home in a pair of comfy blue sweats and black vest.

“That is a very loaded question.” I dead pan sitting across from Gina who was sprawled out on the couch eating from a large bag of chips.

“I think someone needs to tell Auntie Gina everything.” Gina nods firmly.

So I begin from where the night began wanting to hurt Rob but ending up feeling sorry for the guy instead because of all the drama he was involved in with Amy and that asshole Jeremy.

“That is really messed up.” Gina tells me but adds “At least now you are free from the idiot and his weird love triangle.”

“I am so glad.” I nod as I take off my black boots letting them drop to the floor as I tuck my legs up under a couple of cushions.

“So why are you only home now?” Questions Gina suspiciously “It is like after three in the morning.”

“I could ask the same for you.” I retort whilst stalling for time before I explained my next humiliating tale.

“Well me and Kirk are over.” Gina tells me with a shrug “He wanted a threesome with that douchebag Ren but when I declined an argument broke out so I told him that we were finished.”

“Kirk was a total jerk.” I tell her as she nods back in agreement.

“I’m over him!” Gina waves her hand as if to illustrate the fact that he was out of her life and she was ready to move onto the next guy.

“So who is next?” I question with a grin.

“Cody of course!” Gina smirks at me “Tell me all you know about him again.”

Briefly bringing her up to speed on Cody the guy who was way out of my league I feel relaxed for a moment as Gina makes me laugh.

“Your turn now.” Gina gives me a devious look then adds “Tell me everything.”

“You’re not going to believe it.” I begin with a shrug which makes Gina look like she was about to explode from excitement.

“Ok, what the hell happened?” Gina questions grumpily so I put her out of her misery and explain everything the phone call from Pete, hanging out with Joe until the others decided to show up and finally what had taken place on that ugly grey couch.

“So you and Joe-“

“Got interrupted by his friends as they drunkenly crashed into the apartment at totally the wrong moment causing me to elbow Joe in the face and once again run away completely humiliated.” I cut off Gina with a grim look on my face as I recall the looks from Joe’s friends resulting in me covering my hands over my eyes.

“But you and Joe had been getting down to it!” Gina screams excitedly making me move my hands away from eyes to see the biggest smile on my friends face.

“That is your only take away from all this?” I question with a scoff then state “Well sure if his friends hadn’t barged in I would have been another notch on Joe’s bedpost.”

“That is the best news ever.” Gina smirks giving me an admiring nod at the same time.

“Well if it was to ever happen.” I tell Gina “Then it completely would have by now we keep getting stopped for a reason someone doesn’t want us to hook up.”

.......................................................................................................................................................................................

Gina laughs at this which makes me roll my eyes because it was true I didn’t care if no one believed me seeing that at the end of the day I had to blame something for all this mess.

“So forget about Joe then!” Gina begins with a chuckle then adds “Go out with his friend Doug instead and see if he can help you with the sex list.” 

This makes me groan because all of my dreams recently have starred the bartender and I was so close to making one of them a reality tonight that the thought of meeting Doug held no appeal to me.

“I bet it would make Joe jealous as fuck and he would have you right there!” Gina laughs at the face I pull because I wasn’t ready to start playing games with Joe.

Or was I?

Maybe the guy needed a good taste of what he was putting out there blowing hot and cold all the while which was very frustrating but I could do exactly the same.

“I think you are right.” I nod making Gina’s eyes widen because for once I actually agreed with one of her schemes that never usually happened so obviously I was desperate.

“Really?!” Gina stands up from the couch excitedly clapping her hands stating “I love it when I am right!”

A plan is then set in motion for me to meet up with Doug on a date if I actually did like the guy that was a bonus but the main objective here was to let Joe think he was running the show when clearly it was me all along.

Make the bartender jealous like he had made me unashamedly with purple and red haired women then have him eating out of my hand it was a win slash win situation that I had full control over.

“This is going to be such fun!” Gina smiles then asks “Please tell me I can chose your outfit and do your make up for the date?”

“Of course.” I smile completely warming to this idea because things would totally begin to go my way it was either sink or swim time.

“I hope to god this Doug guy is actually real.” Gina begins “Like it would totally suck if Joe made him up!”

“Why would he do that?” I retort not liking where this line of questioning was going because sure I had a plan but that would be weird if Joe had created the guy.

“Because Joe is in love with you stupid!” Gina tries and fails to pull a cute pouty face whilst I throw several cushions in her direction.

“Now that is a lie.” I dead pan briefly enjoying the moment that perhaps he actually was but let the feeling pass because this wasn’t about love all I wanted to know about was the lust.


End file.
